


ᵂʰᵃᵗ ᴵˢ Yᵒᵘʳ ᴾᵒⁱˢᵒⁿ ⁽ᵀᴹᴺᵀ⁾ (Book One)

by Hydrakinz



Series: The Poison Trilogy [1]
Category: BayverseTMNT, TMNT - Fandom, TMNT2k14, TMNT2k16
Genre: Anal Fingering, Anal Sex, Blood and Gore, Character Death, Drama & Romance, Eventual Romance, Eventual Smut, Explicit Language, Explicit Sexual Content, Fanfiction, Fantasy, Fiction, Gay, Gay Sex, I'm Bad At Tagging, M/M, Oral Sex, Rape, Romance, Slow Burn, TMNT, Terrapin, Turtlecest (TMNT)
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-11-25
Updated: 2019-12-02
Packaged: 2021-03-03 03:01:58
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 51
Words: 194,454
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21559585
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Hydrakinz/pseuds/Hydrakinz
Summary: " ᵂʰᵃᵗ ᴵˢ Yᵒᵘʳ ᴾᵒⁱˢᵒⁿ "ᴵˢ ᵇᵃˢᵉᵈ ᵘᵖᵒⁿ ᶜᵒᵐᵖˡᵉᵗᵉ ᶠⁱᶜᵗⁱᵒⁿ ᵃⁿᵈ ⁱᵈᵉᵃ'ˢ ᴴʸᵈʳᵃᵏⁱⁿᶻ, ᴴᵃˢ ᶜᵒˡˡᵉᶜᵗᵉᵈ ᵒᵛᵉʳ ᵗʰᵉ ᵖˡᵒᵗ ᵒᶠ ʰᵉʳ ᶠᵃᵛᵒʳⁱᵗᵉ ᶠᵃⁿᵈᵒᵐ ᵒᶠ ᵃˡˡ ᵗⁱᵐᵉ, ᵀᴹᴺᵀITS OFFICIAL, BOOK THREE IS COMING!Read Book Two, ( Pick Your Poison ) now!This Story Contains #Turtlecest.໓໐ຖ't likē, ໓໐ຖ't rēค໓.After Raphael and Leonardo think that their brothers are dead from a warehouse explosion, they mourn the deaths of what remained, including the lie and betrayal of their father faking his own death to keep them safe. Raph and Leo try to move on, but more than twenty surprises hit them in the face like a ton of bricks when Donnie and Mike return to the lair after a fight for adventure. Feelings begin to bloom over the loss. And drama forms and rains over their heads like a storm.Falling In Love With Your Own Sibling Was Never going to be easy-- but getting them to love you back was a challenge-- Only in reality-- they all loved each other just as equal.Read ᵂʰᵃᵗ ᴵˢ Yᵒᵘʳ ᴾᵒⁱˢᵒⁿ to find out what unfolds right before their eyes, and to be there every step of the way as these four brothers discover what true love and sacrifice truly means to have exactly what you want.
Relationships: Donatello/Leonardo/Michelangelo/Raphael (TMNT), Donatello/Michelangelo (TMNT), Leonardo/Donatello (TMNT), Leonardo/Michelangelo (TMNT), Leonardo/Raphael (TMNT), Michelangelo/Donatello (TMNT), Raphael/Donatello (TMNT), Raphael/Leonardo (TMNT), Raphael/Michelangelo (TMNT)
Series: The Poison Trilogy [1]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1553749
Comments: 22
Kudos: 44





	1. Prologue

ᵂʰᵃᵗ ᴵˢ ʸᵒᵘʳ ᴾᵒⁱˢᵒⁿ

ᴾʳᵒˡᵒᵍᵘᵉ

"So, Are we just gonna stand here?" Raph spoke with tension in his voice, him gritting his teeth without bothering to hide his anger.

"There isn't more we could have done, Raphael. It's too late" Leo replied with a mumble, Raph barely being able to come up with what he just said. Leo goes to turn away from the sight in front of him, and there was Raph, his eyes glossy and ready to spill over.

"The fuck did you just say ta me?" he asked, almost shouting while still gritting those teeth of his. This always had annoyed Leo when he done it. He wanted to tell him to stop, but this time, it wasn't a good time to tell the big bully what to do.

Leo pursed his lips and pressed them into a hard line. He let out a hot sigh through the slits in his nose and began to speak. "It's too late, Raph!"

A single tear fell from Raphael's eye. A wet trail staining the reptiles cheek. "Do you even fucking care, Leo?" he shoved his brother, then a second time, causing Leo to almost stumble over the back of his feet which was usually never likely to happen, due to his talented skills. He was simply in shock.

He shoved Raph back and he growled in response. "Do you? Do you even fucking care that we just lost them!" he shouted, Leo's face looking pale, and his stomach ready to turn over and throw up this morning's lunch.

Leonardo glanced away from his brother, feeling the emotion rising in his gut and in his heart. It throbbing and threatening to rise to the very top and boil over, like some pot left on a stove. "Course' I care, Raph. Why in the shell would I not give a crap about them dying? It happened! We- We gotta go! We gotta move on! Like we did with, Master Spli-" he stopped, as the memories rushed into his brain and crushed his heart all over again.

"With who, Leo?" Raph questioned, demanding an answer as he shoved a hand at Leo's shoulder, "Who? Master Splinter? What, hah. Were ya gonna say him? that fool that got himself killed!"

Leo took a swing at Raph but he dodged it and aimed his right sai that pointed straight at Leo's chest. He debated on whether he should of put it to his throat or kept this in the direction he was going with. But he knew in his mind, Leo could easily get out of a situation such as this. But by the way, he was looking he didn't have the muscle in him left to make a move like that.

"How dare you speak about our Sensei that way! He was our Father! He taught us everything we know! Or did know, Look at you!" Leo waved his hand in front of Raph like he was presenting him as some sort of prize. "You don't even know what Loyalty is anymore!"

"Loyalty?" Raph cackled, holding the front of his plastron, continuing to have a laughing banter, party of his own. He then stood up straight and stared his brother down. "Loyalty in this so-called 'Family' died long ago, Leo. I dunno if you're too blind to see that or just too damn selfish to realize it. Maybe this whole thing is your fault and maybe I should kill you for it" He said, letting the words roll off his tongue so effortlessly as if they meant nothing to him.

It jabbed at Leo's heart, but he stood his ground and clenched both his fists, nails digging into his palms. "You wouldn't kill me, Raph"

He raised an eye ridge, then sniffled a bit and wiped his nose with the surface of his hand. "Oh yeah, and why do ya think I wouldn't huh?"

Leo debated as he watched Raphael. He was waiting for an answer, knowing what was to come was gonna hit below the belt. It was Leo's way of revenge. Though it was a rule in their family and a sin upon a good man's will.

Revenge was a greedy thing to come by and Raphael and Michelangelo were the only ones who took advantage of such a thing and Leo despised them for it.

For years, Leo felt like a father to his brothers just as much as their Sensei was. But when Leo took care of everything he felt as if they could be themselves a bit more often. Like they had no boundaries, no bossing around unless something was dangerous, or highly inappropriate. He left that last bit to Mikey the majority of the time.

Mikey

Leo frowned, looking at his brother again. "Because you need me," he said, but it was quiet. Normally Leo was almost as loud as Raph when he spoke, but only to get his point across when his younger siblings weren't listening or behaving correctly like they always needed to. Especially when Splinter was around.

Raph's eyes shot in his leader's direction and almost bulged out of their sockets. "I need you?" He spoke, sounding baffled. "What in the shell makes you think I need you, Leo!"

"Because!" Leo tensed, almost in Raph's face now. They both bumped heads, and Leo grabbed him by his shoulders and then caressed his tear-stained cheeks, which Raph tried to pull away from. Leo held him in place and spoke calmly but his voice shook and almost cracked until he swallowed the massive, emotional, lump in his throat. Leo and Raph's eyes met and Raph tried to squeeze his own shut to avoid any contact. He didn't have the strength to hurt, Leo.

He Couldn't.

Somehow, Raph felt like he didn't have the strength to stand anymore. Something was missing from his life. Though he had half of it, right in front of him.

"We need each other, Raph, like how you needed Mikey"

Raph squeezed his eyes shut tighter, running from the tears, and every inch of heartache he had comin' for him. He then growled, shoving against Leo's chest. "Mikey is dead, Leo! And he ain't ever comin' back just like Don! We ain't got nobody! April and Casey are long fuckin' gone! They moved on after that stupid wedding! Just like I told ya, After that final goodbye!"

Leo grabbed Raph's face again, forcing him to look at him once more. Though the turtle he was touching was much larger than him, he still managed to keep him in a tough, tight, grip, "Raph, they will be back. They are just on their honeymoon, on a simple vacation to celebrate. You've gotta listen to me now, or else you won't ever. Don n' Mike, they-" Leo began but his lip quivered and he couldn't bear the thought of such a hothead like Raph getting to see him cry - He'd never hear the end of it.

"They are gone, Leo! I want em' back!" he roared, almost throwing his shorter brother off him, but instead, they just held one another in a tight embrace and sobbed.

What was life going to come to After this?

The burning warehouse across the street clouded the sky above them with smoke and chemicals. It being seen from miles. Civilians all over New York City could spot it from their homes and apartments.

The ear-piercing sounds of sirens came from every other direction of the streets. Police cars, ambulances, fire trucks, and, emergency services rushed to the scene. Even the FBI and New's Vans showed up and crowded the area. Completely closing off any access.

All For A Burnin' Buildin'  
Raph thought, staring over Leo's shoulder as they continued to hold one another in that same embrace.

The flames rising high in the sky lit up Raphael's eyes like diamonds.

And he felt nothing.

Absolutely Nothing.

This Was Only The Beginning.


	2. Let's Go North

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> " ᵂʰᵃᵗ ᴵˢ Yᵒᵘʳ ᴾᵒⁱˢᵒⁿ "   
ᴵˢ ᵇᵃˢᵉᵈ ᵘᵖᵒⁿ ᶜᵒᵐᵖˡᵉᵗᵉ ᶠⁱᶜᵗⁱᵒⁿ ᵃⁿᵈ ⁱᵈᵉᵃ'ˢ ᴴʸᵈʳᵃᵏⁱⁿᶻ, ᴴᵃˢ ᶜᵒˡˡᵉᶜᵗᵉᵈ ᵒᵛᵉʳ ᵗʰᵉ ᵖˡᵒᵗ ᵒᶠ ʰᵉʳ ᶠᵃᵛᵒʳⁱᵗᵉ ᶠᵃⁿᵈᵒᵐ ᵒᶠ ᵃˡˡ ᵗⁱᵐᵉ, ᵀᴹᴺᵀ
> 
> Book Two Out Now! 
> 
> This Story Contains #Turtlecest. 
> 
> ໓໐ຖ't likē, ໓໐ຖ't rēค໓.
> 
> After Raphael and Leonardo think that their brothers are dead from a warehouse explosion, they mourn the deaths of what remained, including the lie and betrayal of their father faking his own death to keep them safe. Raph and Leo try to move on, but more than twenty surprises hit them in the face like a ton of bricks when Donnie and Mike return to the lair after a fight for adventure. Feelings begin to bloom over the loss. And drama forms and rains over their heads like a storm.
> 
> Falling In Love With Your Own Sibling Was Never going to be easy-- but getting them to love you back was a challenge-- Only in reality-- they all loved each other just as equal. 
> 
> Read ᵂʰᵃᵗ ᴵˢ Yᵒᵘʳ ᴾᵒⁱˢᵒⁿ to find out what unfolds right before their eyes, and to be there every step of the way as these four brothers discover what true love and sacrifice truly means to have exactly what you want.

ᵂʰᵃᵗ ᴵˢ Yᵒᵘʳ ᴾᵒⁱˢᵒⁿ  
Cʰᵃᵖᵗᵉʳ ᴵ

ᴸᵉᵗ'ˢ ᴳᵒ ᴺᵒʳᵗʰ

The humidity in the air was below twenty-seven degrees, and Michelangelo was sure he felt goosebumps rising on his skin. He shivered, feeling a cold breeze hit him right in the face like a stack of bricks.

The small turtle winced and went to hug his knees to his chest cavity but he couldn't.

What.

His arms were restrained and so were his ankles. He began to struggle but the sudden sharp edge of pain rushed through his entire body like torched knives. It all happened so quickly and he couldn't understand what was going on. The only thing he felt was his bones crushing and breaking in halves.

Mikey wondered silently where exactly he was, and how he got in this predicament but on top of this crappy situation, his throat felt dry and was in a serious need of a drink.

He managed to get his eyes open but saw Nothing but darkness. And occasionally Mikey was scared of the dark and always rushed to Raph when he needed the protection.

He was always there, though he annoyed him a majority of the time. Mikey smiled through the darkness covering his eyes, remembering some things that meant one hell of a lot to him. The memories are what got him through his day even with Splinter gone.

Mikey's dad was someone he went to when things got confusing or even too overbearing for him. He spoke to him about or asked him the silliest things sometimes. And when times got tough between him and his brothers, Splinter was who he'd run to. Even slept in the same room as him a few good times when he wasn't feeling accepted enough.

For years Mikey has always felt like a minor outcast of his siblings. But when he looked at Raph, he envied him in devious ways. He felt closer to him because of what he actually knew about him. Michelangelo knew things about Raphael that even he, himself didn't know yet. Raph was the one who kept his emotions so bottled up, and Mikey has even once said that that's the reason why he stays so angry and hot-headed.

Raphie never listened though and Mikey despised it.

"I think he's waking up, hurry and get a blanket, he's shivering over here"

Mikey froze, hearing other voices. He didn't have a clue where he was, or who these strangers were. He began to wonder what the hell happened in the first place. He remembers only but flames, and fires. A Building crashing and breaking down along with a memory of rushing to Don's side but getting blocked in by burning rubbish. He was pinned between a rock and a hard place.

No Way Out.

Not even a Ninja could figure his way outta here, damn.

This is it. This was it.

He didn't wanna think about the pain he felt when his lungs began to fill with smoke. The flames were getting higher and he could hear screams, screams of people he didn't know. Screams coming from people he failed to save and Help.

"Hey freak, are ya breathin'?" he heard someone ask. Then a light pop, and someone saying Ow.

"What was that for, ma?" he said, Mikey, realizing that this was a man speaking or possibly a young boy in his teens, with his mother at his side.

"Don't be so rude, mi hijo, we brought him here to help him, not make fun of the poor creature" She said, with a scowl like tone. It warmed Michelangelo's heart, knowing someone from the top side, actually wanted to be nice to him.

"W-Where am I?" he managed to ask. His throat feeling drier than he thought. He felt the urge to cough but he swallowed it instead.

There was a long pause before someone answered, or spoke again. Mikey debated of asking once more, but he didn't wanna bother. He was out of place and had more than fifty questions ready to fire up at any moment.

Something cool, and moist touched his skin and he let out a sigh of relief. His nostrils flared and his lips parted craving water or anything that could possibly quench a guy's thirst.

"You are safe, creature, and that's all you need to know. So, do not worry" the woman informed, but her voice remained to sound harsh, but comforting all at one time.

"Safe? When is a turtle-like me, ever safe?" he spoke, wincing at the inhale of those broken ribs he knew he had.

"Turtle, You say?" she laughed lightly and continued to dab the cool, wet, rag on Mikey's left eye. Which he assumed was scratched up or something because of the obvious stinging every time she dipped down with the moisture.

"Hah, Yea, Turtle, or freak. I like Mikey or Michelangelo a lot better, or uh, whatever you wanna call me" he said with a little embarrassment in his voice. And the woman, dabbing his eye, let out a second giggle and leaned over him, which took Mikey by surprise because the scent he took in was more than unbearable.

Suddenly light pierced through his eyelids, and he gasped and squeezed them shut. The woman had removed whatever was covering his eyes. She lightly patted his head and spoke softly "It's alright, it's alright. I've got no clue why my son covered your eyes, to begin with. To me, you didn't seem dangerous"

"He had weapons, Ma! It was your idea to take him in any way! If it was left up to me, or if Papa were here, this wouldn't have happened! He's a criminal!" the boy spoke with such emotion, and in some type of way, Mikey could understand his precautions. Especially if the dad wasn't around.

"I um, I understand that you are being safe, dude. But believe me. But if I wanted to hurt you, or anyone in this room, I would have waited until we got closer, and you learned to trust me, like some lame action movie, and murdered you all in your sleep" Mikey said without a cent of sarcasm as he finally opened his eyes, realizing his mask was missing but he wasn't worried.

Yet.

Mikey saw an elderly lady and from what he could tell of his surroundings, that explained the unbearable smell. There were candles lit all over the place and lit in scents burning from every corner. The lady must have been obsessed with fancy smells or was a Majo from the faraway lands.

From the books Mikey had read, Majo stood for Witch in Japanese culture. Sometimes, scents were burned to scare off unwanted spirits or even keep the happiness alive and within the aura.

The elderly lady didn't look Japanese, and neither did the boy who was about sixteen, or even closer to Mikey's own age.

Their skin reminded him of a caramel apple, and he assumed from their accents and lack of heritage, they were from Mexico.

Mikey glanced around the room and winced again at the pain in his chest. "Where in the shell have you brought me? Is this some type of- Voodoo, ritual spot because I don't feel like being a ouji-turtle today"

"Ya know, you're not the first person to say something like that. People have said that we worship Satan all because of my Ma's silly candles and whatnot" the kid said with a chuckle.

The elderly lady crinkled her nose and sat up straight. "Well, Michelangelo, You were in pretty bad shape"

"Were?" Mikey asked with a bit of shock in his voice. He couldn't believe he even survived from what he remembered. How could a little old lady possibly of helped him, or even pulled him out of that building he was trapped in.

"Yes, were. For the past couple of days, I've been nursing you back to health. I know you've still got some broken bones in there, but with my help and medicines, You'll be as good as new in a month or so" she smiled, while crows feet formed at the edges of her eyes.

Mikey's eyes widened at such words and he vigorously shook his head. "No, I have to get back to my brothers! To my family right away! Untie me!" he said, nearly shouting as he yanked at the restraints and failing to break them as his muscles came to a holt and constricted, causing him to wince again, but louder this time. He felt a sudden need to cry as the tears begin to surface behind those pools of blue. "I have to see them again"

The elderly lady went to unfasten the rope tied around Mikey's ankles and took her time too. Without saying a word, the rope came apart and Mikey was on his feet in seconds, with little no hassle. The pain in his ribs returned, but it was faint. He winced and yanked at the rope around his wrists.

"You have to calm down, okay? We aren't going to keep you here or anything-" she sighed with a stop of her words, then looked up at the turtle, who was panting and in need to get his hands free. "Something or someone told me I had to save you, some type of spirit"

"Oh, Ma. Get off it already! Nothing or no one told you to save this damn-" The young boy looked up at Mikey trying to make up of what he actually was, "Freak! Or Animal!"

"Javier, that is enough! Now you go to your room and leave us be. You are doing no good here, by shouting and frightening this creature!" she said, pointing towards the staircase in the corner. 

The kid huffed and shook his head with anger. He obviously wasn't going to put up with his mother's intentions. The Boy pulled out a pistol from the back of his pants and aimed it straight for Michelangelo's head, "I told you we shouldn't have brought him here, Ma! I was taught to never bring strangers into this home, Papa taught me that. Taught me how to stick up for what is right!"

"Javier!" His mother squeaked, her hands covering her mouth in shock to see her young son with such a dangerous weapon, "You said you stopped playing with your father's guns, I told you to stay away from them, away from that box in the garage, You never listen! Now put that down right now!" she shouted, causing Mikey's ears to ring and he stood a bit ways back, making sure to keep aware of his surroundings.

"Look, dude, using those things get you nowhere good, Believe me, I know. I've been shot at with many different types, they all sound the same to me, and can get boring pretty quickly!" Mikey explained as the boy got closer to him, aiming at him still, his finger on the trigger, shaking and trembling which meant fear.

Mikey could smell the teen's fear. Anyone could at this rate.

"You talk too much, Freak! I want you outta here. In fact, how's about I remove you myself!" He said with a devil-like grin, and his finger grazed the trigger, as Mikey broke free from the rope he had been fiddling with behind his back the whole time. He knew his weapons were missing and his mask was too, which, it being gone made him feel strangely naked. He stared straight at the boy and while feeling slightly playful, he grinned in return.

"I really don't wanna do this, bro, but- if it's to get you to vote for no-weapon-gun-control, then I guess this is the way it's gotta be"

Javier's eyes widened in shock and his hand grew shakier, "How'd you get outta that rope? I tied that knot securely! I made sure of it!"

Mikey rose his hands in defeat. "Yeah, you did great on those ties, dude, but you could have tried a bit harder on the monkey's fist," he said, wiggling the rope in his hand.

"Mi Hijo, Please! put that gun away! You've gotten out of control! This creature has done nothing to us!" she pleads, stepping closer to him, and as soon as she takes her second step, her son is waving the gun towards her and away from Mikey and pulls the trigger. The gun firing and everything is a bit of a blur.

The elderly lady goes down, and so does the kid. Mikey tackles him, and the gun fires twice more and gets knocked right out of his hand. It skids across the wooden floor and slides beneath the coffee table.

"Get off me, freak!" he shouts through his teeth, trying to knee Mikey off of him, but he doesn't succeed. With the first blow to the face, Mikey knocks him out cold, and it surprises him, and even for a moment, Mikey hopes he didn't hurt the kid too bad.

He hears the old lady shriek in pain, and he is reminded that her own son just shot her in broad daylight. Mikey uses the rope he had before and ties the kid's hands behind his back, just like he did him, but this time, he made sure that the knot would stay in its place and he wouldn't be able to escape unless somebody cut him out.

Mikey glanced over at the scent lingering in the air. There was a pool of blood beneath the elderly lady and she was holding her chest. The gunshot wound was positioned there, right in between her breast bone.

The turtle rushed to her side, and began to panic, not knowing what to do, or how to help, considering he had never helped with such an injury before. Maybe cuts or bruises from time to time, but this, this was beyond his own skill level. It was all Donnie when it came to medical standards.

He knelt down by the woman and blinked rapidly and shook his head at the amount of blood. He had to think fast. "Oh my gosh, Oh my gosh, what do I do? Um, I know this is a really bad time to ask questions, but do you have a phone?" he asked, voice a little shaky and punctured.

The elderly lady managed to give him a nod and cried out quietly when she tried to speak, "I-In the kitchen, on t-the wall"

Mikey rose to his feet and went for the kitchen, almost tripping over the unconscious teenager he tackled to the floor. As soon as he entered the room, he noticed the old landline attached to the wall, and wondered why they haven't upgraded but now definitely wasn't the time to ask more questions. He picked up the phone and managed to dial nine-one-one, and the service picked up on the third ring.

"Nine-One-One, what is your emergency?"

"Uh, Yeah, um, a little old lady was just shot by her son, and she's bleeding pretty badly! We need someone here now, or else she's gonna die!" Mikey said into the phone, occasionally looking toward the living room, making sure the lady hadn't stopped moving or breathing.

"Sir, I'm gonna need you to calm down. Can you tell me the address?"

Address. Address.

Mikey mouthed the word Fuck and looked all around him for any traces of a location, and glanced out the small window above the sink. He caught eye of a street sign that read Barker Street In Maine.

Maine.

"Uh, The only thing I can tell you is some type of street called Barker Street? We are in Maine, in a small house, uh, lots of brown colors, and very lit up, tell your people, it has a lot of candle things inside of it. Uh, And that's about it. Please, Hurry!" he said, running a hand over the top of his head, feeling very stressed.

"Okay - We have your location. Please remain, calm sir, Emergency services are on their way and will be about ten minutes or so"

"Ten minutes?" he nearly shouted into the phone. "She won't survive that long!"

"Y-Yes, I will. I-I'll be fine" the elderly lady said from behind him, causing Mikey to spin around at an alarming rate and spot the lady propped up against the front of the sofa, Still pooling in her own blood. It was stained on her lips and wrinkled chin. She must have been coughing before, but Mikey assumes he was too distracted into figuring out a location to of noticed.

"Are you crazy?" Mikey said.

"Sir-" the operator spoke.

"One second," he said into the phone, and received an agitated sigh, "You are not going to be okay! You got shot and look like you got into a ketchup fight with somebody!" Mikey turned his attention back to the caller ID and realized the other side of the phone was dead and heard sirens coming down what he assumed was the street.

He hung up the phone and came to the elderly ladies side and gave her a warm smile, "It's gonna be okay"

She smiled in return, and for what hope and strength she had left of her last breath, she raised her right hand and caressed the turtle's cheek, "We will meet again someday and when we do, I will be sure to tell you all about the spirits"

"Spirits?" he repeated, looking down at the elderly lady and her smile grew.

"The stuff you had with you-- I've put it in a box outback, along with a letter. I was told to give it to you. Only you, Michelangelo"

Something rose in Mikey's heart and he held back what was a thousand questions. The sirens were growing louder and stronger. He had to get outta there and reach some distance from this place. Something about it wasn't feeling right anymore.

He stood up straight and gave the lady a final glance before turning away and heading for the back door. He opened and closed it carefully to not cause any attention towards himself while he heard the police barging through the front door.

Mikey moved quickly and spotted a cardboard box planted by the deck outside the porch of the small house, and inside was his weapons, his mask and a note that gathered a small red ribbon tied around it.

He couldn't worry about who it was from or even what it said inside. All he knew was that all this was messed up and he had to find a way out of here.

Out Of Maine.

He shook his head, and gathered his mask from the box and slid his fingers across the material that was stained with his blood, but by only a few drops. He sighed through his nose and wrapped the bandana around his face, and tied the knot in the back where it usually was displayed.

Things felt better wearing it. He felt hidden again, and away from the world like he always was.

Hidden From Sight.

It was key in the family to always stay away from the real world. He damned his appearance, his cultural because he couldn't be like everyone else.   
Accepted.

Mikey rushed over the back fence after holstering his nunchucks and ran as fast as he could. It was in the middle of the day and the snow was sticking to the ground. It burned beneath his feet and in between his toes, but he didn't care. He wanted to be home. He had to get home. The curiosity to know if everyone was alright burned deep in his gut.

He couldn't live right if something happened to one of his brothers. Their father was one thing but Raph, Don, and Leo. They meant everything to him and not a single person or even another Reptile could compare to what he had for them.

Raph.

Mikey was almost crying again. But a scream came out instead. He jumped, climbed and ran as far as he possibly could until the sirens from those police cars vanished in behind him like a distant memory of his.

The snow was sprinkling down over him and he just didn't stop until he came to a cliff-hanging just before the city line. A massive river separated him from his destination and he couldn't risk a jump or a swim like that. He'd freeze to death.

He was grieving to get home, but he realized a trip like this would take some time to accomplish. Very little time with no effort.

He just needed a vehicle. He needed something and something could be anything at this moment.

He just needed to rest.

Rest.

ᵀᵒ ᴮᵉ Cᵒⁿᵗⁱⁿᵘᵉᵈ


	3. ᴴⁱᵈᵉ ᴺ' Sᵉᵉᵏ

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> " ᵂʰᵃᵗ ᴵˢ Yᵒᵘʳ ᴾᵒⁱˢᵒⁿ "  
ᴵˢ ᵇᵃˢᵉᵈ ᵘᵖᵒⁿ ᶜᵒᵐᵖˡᵉᵗᵉ ᶠⁱᶜᵗⁱᵒⁿ ᵃⁿᵈ ⁱᵈᵉᵃ'ˢ ᴴʸᵈʳᵃᵏⁱⁿᶻ, ᴴᵃˢ ᶜᵒˡˡᵉᶜᵗᵉᵈ ᵒᵛᵉʳ ᵗʰᵉ ᵖˡᵒᵗ ᵒᶠ ʰᵉʳ ᶠᵃᵛᵒʳⁱᵗᵉ ᶠᵃⁿᵈᵒᵐ ᵒᶠ ᵃˡˡ ᵗⁱᵐᵉ, ᵀᴹᴺᵀ
> 
> Book Two Out Now! 
> 
> This Story Contains #Turtlecest. 
> 
> ໓໐ຖ't likē, ໓໐ຖ't rēค໓.
> 
> After Raphael and Leonardo think that their brothers are dead from a warehouse explosion, they mourn the deaths of what remained, including the lie and betrayal of their father faking his own death to keep them safe. Raph and Leo try to move on, but more than twenty surprises hit them in the face like a ton of bricks when Donnie and Mike return to the lair after a fight for adventure. Feelings begin to bloom over the loss. And drama forms and rains over their heads like a storm.
> 
> Falling In Love With Your Own Sibling Was Never going to be easy-- but getting them to love you back was a challenge-- Only in reality-- they all loved each other just as equal. 
> 
> Read ᵂʰᵃᵗ ᴵˢ Yᵒᵘʳ ᴾᵒⁱˢᵒⁿ to find out what unfolds right before their eyes, and to be there every step of the way as these four brothers discover what true love and sacrifice truly means to have exactly what you want.

ᵂʰᵃᵗ ᴵˢ ʸᵒᵘʳ ᴾᵒⁱˢᵒⁿ  
ᶜʰᵃᵖᵗᵉʳ ᴵᴵ

ᴴⁱᵈᵉ ᴺ' Sᵉᵉᵏ

Alarm. Alarm. Alarm.

Something was beeping very loudly and Donatello was sure it was just the ringing in his ears from the explosions. He clenched his fists and pressed them hard into the concrete to raise himself off the ground.

He coughed harshly and realized there was a crack on his glasses. He blinked rapidly and glanced around, examining the area and scanning particular bits of the building for a chance at escape.

Alarm. Alarm. Alarm.

The beeping became louder and coming in clearer until he realized the noise was coming from his watch. Letting him know the oxygen in the air was only at ten or so percent. He had to get out of there until he remembered.

Mikey

He began to panic and rose to his feet. Frantically looking around to spot any traces of his baby brother in the fire.

"Michelangelo!" he shouted, taking very careful steps. He coughed again and held his forearm up to his mouth, "Mikey! Are you in here?" He didn't receive a response and he checked his watch again, Pulling up a diagram, seeing the chances of survival in a fire such as this. The flames were almost as high as a first-degree forest fire.

"Shit," he cursed under his breath and leaped over a collum that had crashed down, "Gotta get out, Gotta find Mikey"

He had to find a place up higher, he had to gain access to the whole building if he wanted to find his brother. He couldn't see for squat down here or in these flames. The more smoke he inhaled, the closer he was to death or a potential coma.

He remembered the skylight he and his brothers came in through just south of the building and figured that would be his way out. But finding it again through this mess was the problem.

Once again, Glancing around. He pulled up a map from his diagram and found at least thirty different blueprints for the same building due to it being overly renovated for years, "Damn, This building is at least fourteen years old. It's been redone six different times and has all new in and exterior. This could get tricky or even ugly- No time to waste," Donnie glanced up from his watch and looked around again, noticing a few shelves that were still intact. His assumptions were that this building is meant for shipment of some sort. He didn't have time to play the guessing game and had to find a way out and leave the logic of the situation to what was actually in his brain.

He had been in tougher situations before and knew he'd survive this. Though on a scale of one to one-hundred, he was about fifty-fifty on this one. It was something he had to take and risk.

"Mikey! Can you hear me? Are you in here?" Don shouted again, his voice echoing all over the building over the outrages flames rising to the roof. Everything was falling apart and sizzling to dust. Once again, he got no answer and Don had to hope with all he had left that Mikey made it out or escaped.

Donnie jumped over some more rubbish in his way and could feel the heat at the bottom of his plastron and on all edges. He was getting hotter and being a cold-blooded creature made things a little easier for him, but breathing in all this smoke wasn't helping and he had to move quickly to not take in so much.

He ran to what he assumed was the second block of the building and hopped up on some steady shelving that would take at least a few thousand pounds, so weight was something he didn't have to worry about here, "Almost there," he huffed, coughing again, his legs feeling a little wobbly as he jumped again, and again while doing a small spin and landing at the very top, on his feet. Almost tumbling over he caught himself and balanced on his bo staff.

Donnie saw the skylight and was about to run for it. He took one last look around the place and everything was coming down. Everything was burning and being destroyed. He wondered how something went so wrong so quickly and how unusual it was for him and his brothers to be so stupid.

He still wondered as well if his brother was trapped in this mess, wondered if he was hurt, or worse. But he couldn't stay to figure it out. He had to leave or else, he too was going to be in even worse shape than he already was.

"Please, please be okay," he prayed, jumping for the opening in the ceiling and the glass shattered when he grabbed ahold of the iron bar. The bolts holding everything together squeaked and rattled as Don threw himself with what strength he had left and gone through the window, while broken pieces of glass scattered across his skin.

He flipped himself upright and done a small backflip and landed on his feet again. This time he being a bit more unstable, he caught himself on his bo once more and almost failed. Donnie looked around him and saw the familiar City he knew and loved. He was out of there.

Out of there and somewhat Safe.

He wondered about Mikey again and was worried. His little brother wasn't always making the smartest moves, but he was a fast learner and taught by one of the smartest people he knew. He had to of gotten himself outta there. Out of this mess that Don knew him and his brothers started to begin with.

How could they be so, irresponsible?

He could hear sirens, and knew right then, he had to move. He had to get back home or just someplace farther away from here. He lifted his hand and pulled up his diagram again. The screen immediately went to static and made a funky noise. The screen closed and he grunted in frustration.

"Damn, must of gotten damaged in the fall. Gotta get better wiring done on this thing" He lightly tapped the surface of his watch with the tip of his pointer finger and it was officially jammed.

Donnie shook his head and lowered his hand while grabbing his bo and forcing it to it's smallest form and carefully put it away at his hip in his belt.

The main objective; Get Home.

A Cool breeze ran cold down Don's spine and for what felt like hours, he could breathe. He took in a deep breath and began running while jumping off the burning building and landing on the other side of what he knew was a nearby laundry mat. He kept on going and almost slipped, losing his balance and hitting both his knees. His fingers dug into the palms of his hands and he cursed silently at his sudden need for rest.

He couldn't check his stats without the help of his diagram. So, he'd have to go at this alone.

Unfortunately for just this once, he'd have to.

Don thought that he could always try his shell cell to phone Mike or Leo, but he didn't wanna bother in a situation like this because he was just going to go home and back to the lair anyway and could patch himself up there. But for some reason, he felt as if getting back was going to be a little more difficult than he thought.

He felt weak and was in a definite need of rest or a very long nap and maybe some dinner.

For the first choice, Don loved Chinese food the most. He thought on Mexican but, Getting food from the place he always had ordered from was always a little difficult understanding the people who worked there, so he decided against it.

Don pulled himself up to his feet again and needed to take another deep breath before he began running again. His lungs felt like they were on fire. Donatello was naturally well fit and healthy but this, this didn't feel right. He had to fight to stand and even the vision behind his glasses was getting blurry and the world around him was spinning in the opposite direction of what he was normally used to.

"H-Have to move. Gotta keep going" he mumbled, stumbling forward and leaning on the edge of the building and holding on tight to the railing of the rooftop. He gripped ahold of it and threw himself over, landing on some stairs that led down to a secluded alleyway with a manhole directly in the middle of the path. He wondered if the direction it gathered would lead him straight to the lair. He had to take the chance and just have hope. He didn't know how long he was out but by the looks of it, the sun was coming up over the tall buildings of New York.

It must have been hours before he woke up from the knockout or blow from whatever hit him. All he remembers was that people were fighting and then someone threw a Molotov through one of the windows, and then the place lit up like a Christmas tree. He saw Mikey getting thrown out of harm's way and then taking a blow to the head. He was out and couldn't get back up, and he knew he had failed. Failed yet another stupid mission that he risked his neck for.

Donnie made his way down the stairway and slid to the bottom and got to his feet. Still a little dizzy- he lifted the lid on the manhole and gave the world around him a few final glances before dropping in just after closing the lid above him. He was greeted with a large pipeline that looked familiar. But to Don, he was fortunately lucky to be so aware of the sewers. He padded slowly down the long out-stretched piping and came to a large opening of three different directions.

Naturally, Don would have taken right, due to being right-handed, But this- this felt confusing to him. He wasn't exactly sure this time if he was going to be right. And Donnie was usually always the one to be right. Right about the serious things, that is.

Suddenly- He was quick to think when he remembered the GPS bug he planted back in the lair. He was using it on Mikey's new upgrade for his skateboard. Don wanted to make sure he knew where his little brother would be at all times when he took those late, midnight strolls on topside when he wanted to go and Play.

Raph sometimes always went with him, but Leo insisted that he put one on his board anyway just to be in case of any up-bringing trouble they might face.

Donnie reached to his belt and pulled out a walkie-talkie and pried the back of it off, revealing the battery and wires and whatnot. He then went for his watch, knowing it's damaged, he quickly slipped a small chip from the side of it's facing and examined it for a moment to make sure no moisture or damage reached it, and luckily- it hadn't.

"If these things weren't so small, I don't think what I'm about to do to you, little guy would be possible" he spoke to the gadget like it's life depended on his actions. Donnie rewired a couple of things inside the walkie-talkie and carefully placed the chip alongside the battery and the device, buzzed to life.

"Gotcha," He said giving a toothy grin and feeling proud of his temporary invention.

Don slid his thumb over the button on the side of the walkie-talkie and pushed it upward, and a small, blurry hologram appeared in front of his face. It was a little fuzzy but readable enough to find his way home. He managed to maneuver the device to point the way and a faint beeping noise came from the rigged walkie and Don watched the hologram pinpoint his exact location compared to how far he actually was from the lair.

He thought about Mikey's skateboard and felt lucky that he was forced into leaving it back at home. Leo mentioned to him to leave it there because there was no need to bring it with him because this was going to be an in and out type of job and it would only get in the way.

Mikey had a sad expression on his face when he was told to leave his so-called pride and joy at home alone.

Don remembered when he gave Mikey the rocket boosters for it on his birthday and he loved them, no, he adored them. Those boosters helped him feel a little freer than what he was used to.

Donnie knew that Mikey struggled with finding entertainment in the lair, even with reading every comic book that could possibly exist. He still gifted him on random occasions with new builds or things he made just to satisfy his every need.

The reason behind this was because Don himself suffered from similar emotions. He wanted to feel a bit freer too. Donnie wanted to be able to explore the world without having someone call him a freak of nature or simply not get scared of what he was or looked like.

It was just skin. He thought.

Donnie was also a fan of photography and wanted to take pictures of exotic places like the lands of Hawaii. Or even the deserts in Pakistan.

Don shook his head at the thought. Still feeling weak and impossibly emotional. Don had to keep on moving and following the beeps of the GPS. He was close, and finally, he was hitting grounds that were familiar. That was like home to him.

Sometimes Donnie had wished the sewers weren't like home to him. Sometimes it was entirely embarrassing to think of admitting to some stranger on the street where he's lived his whole life. 

He put the walkie at his hip again and kept walking through the pipelines, and soon he met up with a balcony that led right into the lair. He smiled when he felt the familiar humidity in the air as he entered. He hopped down and crossed overpassed the sitting room and examined the area to see if anyone had recently been here.

Everything was exactly the way it was left and Don figured no one had returned yet because Leo and Raph might still be out there searching for him and Mike.

Donnie still had hope that their little brother was alright. He knew he had to be, so he forced the image out of his mind and carried his way into the lab, where he spent most of his time. He needed this time to himself, even if Leo, Raph, and Mikey were here, he still needed the space because he was a bit irritated.

Especially with Leo.

Leonardo was his closest companion and Don looked up to him for many different things. Leo was always smart and careful. But this time, he was dumb and sloppy at his work.

Life has been edgy since the fall of his father, and of course, their fearless leader was the one to take it the hardest. Raphael was harsh about the situation, Mikey kept quiet about it all and Don-

Well, he didn't have much to say about it either. Things were bad the first few days and Donnie kept mostly to himself. Mikey lingered around him a lot more when their father passed, and explained that he simply didn't need to be afraid around Donatello.

Don asked, "What do you mean, Afraid?"

Mikey just shook his head, and pointed towards the laboratory exit and went into reality and heard the familiar shouts and screams and scuffles on the other side, coming from their two Alpha brothers.

Donnie slipped off his boots once he lowered himself on the small, twin-sized cot not far from his desk. He let out a large sigh of relief and removed his spectacles from his face and eyed the crack in the left frame.

"Great," he huffed, stretching his legs out and heard a pop or two.

Donnie knew he'd have to deal with his glasses when he woke up sometime later on. He couldn't see without them clearly enough and would have to start right away on finding an extra frame to replace his cracked one.

He had extra's lying around in one of his drawers, but he couldn't be bothered with doing anything right at this moment. He just couldn't.

Donnie pulled his legs up and he lied back on the cushion he had sprawled out across the cot. The bed was just big enough for Don's long legs, but the balls of his feet hung off just slightly but not enough to be completely hanging off the edge.

Either way, it didn't matter all that much because Donnie eventually hooked his legs around one of his pillows during the night while sleeping because it made him more comfortable. He slept like a baby at this position.

When Don slept like this, he wished he had someone to share it with. He craved to be held like how he held his pillows. He sometimes even envied the body pillow he kept in his bedroom. That thing he still didn't have a name for, Got him through worse than anyone in the lair ever did.

Talking things over wasn't always the solution or even the cure for all issues.

Donnie lied his head back and placed his glasses on the side table by his cot. He was lying there until he realized he hadn't removed all of his gear yet or even his backpack. But he didn't care. His eyes were slipping closed before he knew it and just then, was when he realized the pain he had in his elbows and knee caps. And maybe a little stinging in his upper lip and chest cavity.

Donnie didn't even think about his injuries this whole time, he just had been worried for the life of his little brother, and getting home.

Getting home, Safely

Lying there with his eyes closed, Donnie was still having a little trouble breathing and still felt the urge to cough at any second now, but the feeling was slowly subsiding and sleep soon, overtook him deep into the dream waves he oh, so admired.

He saw beaches and waves crashing at the shoreline.

Starfishes and crabs escaping to the wetlands.

And seagulls protecting their eggs for awaiting hatch.

Donnie could see himself, see his brothers too, and everyone he knew and loved were all there next to him, having a good time and enjoying the sun.

A wide smile spread across his face when he saw Leo.

He was wearing a brightly colored flowered shirt and it was unbuttoned all the way down to his navel and bottom half of his plastron.

He looked good in red, Donnie thought.

Leo smiled back at him in return and got closer.

He moved slowly and for what felt like ages, things moved in slow motion, and it felt like all a one-time thing for this moment. But to Donnie's surprise, he didn't want this to end any time soon.

He felt the sudden urge to just look at his brother, at his sibling and Watch him Walk in that shirt, with that smile, without armor or those katana swords of his.

Just watch him.

Donnie bit the inside of his cheek and couldn't believe in himself of what he was feeling or even admitting at this moment and time. For the first time ever since he met April, Leonardo was the best-looking thing he had ever laid his eyes on.

"Donatello, I Just wanna say," he began, his lips parting and showing off those perfect teeth of his, "Thank you"

Donnie eyed his Alpha brother, throat getting tighter and face flushing a light pink. He wondered what Leo could possibly be thanking him for, and before he knew it, Leo was coming closer and bending forward to reach the height between him and Leo's face.

The shell was going on.

Whatever was about to happen made Don feel like a giant butterfly that could fly away at any moment. His toes felt like feathers, and he couldn't move. He literally couldn't move. All he could do was prepare for what was to come, and he had hope that this was all some sort of prank and that Leo was actually about to punch him square in the face with a creme pie or something but- It didn't come.

Leo and Don's eyes meet briefly before the gap in between them both closed and just before their lips met-

Bang!

Donatello raised up from his cot in a sleep panic, wondering what the sound he had heard was, and then it came again.

Bang!

"I told you we shoulda went out there and looked for em' and here we are, back here, with nothin' but hopes, dreams, and fuckin' doubts, and an empty lair with nothing but memories!" Raph roared, while another loud noise came directly after his speech.

Raphael was angry and Donnie was only half asleep, still flushed and confused as hell as to what was going on. He rose a bit higher off the cot and got to his feet, grabbing his glasses from the side table and displaying them at the tip of his nose.

"Would you calm down? Destroying the goddamn place won't help anything Raph!" he heard Leo sigh, trying to cool down the regularly usual hot head. "We barely got anything left anyway! So just stop would ya?"

"Get off me, fearless! You don't know what you're talkin' about anymore, Like seriously you aren't even a leader!" Raph shouted with a grunt and Donnie heard a lot more shuffling than before, along with another loud crash.

"I don't know what I am talking about?" Leo questioned, sounding out of breath. "Maybe, Maybe I fuckin' don't. Maybe I'm not a leader anymore. Maybe, Maybe I don't even wanna be one anymore"

There was small silence after Leo finished what he was saying and Don felt his heart fall to the bottomless pit of his stomach.

Hearing his brother say such a thing just wasn't like him. Something was awfully wrong and not right here. He shook his head, and moved towards the lab door, and grabbed it's handle, twisting it and pushing it open.

For a moment, Donnie felt nervous seeing his siblings again. It had only been a few hours, or maybe even a day since he saw them all together. It was a good type of nervous, and he couldn't wait to set eyes on the people he loved most. He knew right then that at least two of them were fine and safe, let alone angry and agitated.

Once the door slid open, he spotted Raphael on the floor and climbing up from the now broken kitchen table they once had.

He immediately heard the squeak of the Laboratory door opening and was at his feet in seconds, until he saw Donnie in the doorway and with what sai's he had in his hands, they dropped to the ground with a slight clinking noise as they hit the brick plated flooring.

Leo was always on high alert, but even he didn't move until he saw what Raph was staring at and what had him so surprised and agape. He sprang around and turned his direction towards Donnie, who had his eyes right on him.

They saw one another and for what felt like hours, Leo's heart thumped in his chest.

"Don?" He said while Donatello's name fell from his lips in a whisper.

ᵀᵒ ᴮᵉ Cᵒⁿᵗⁱⁿᵘᵉᵈ


	4. ᵂᵃˡᵏ ᵂⁱᵗʰ ᴹᵉ

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> " ᵂʰᵃᵗ ᴵˢ Yᵒᵘʳ ᴾᵒⁱˢᵒⁿ "   
ᴵˢ ᵇᵃˢᵉᵈ ᵘᵖᵒⁿ ᶜᵒᵐᵖˡᵉᵗᵉ ᶠⁱᶜᵗⁱᵒⁿ ᵃⁿᵈ ⁱᵈᵉᵃ'ˢ ᴴʸᵈʳᵃᵏⁱⁿᶻ, ᴴᵃˢ ᶜᵒˡˡᵉᶜᵗᵉᵈ ᵒᵛᵉʳ ᵗʰᵉ ᵖˡᵒᵗ ᵒᶠ ʰᵉʳ ᶠᵃᵛᵒʳⁱᵗᵉ ᶠᵃⁿᵈᵒᵐ ᵒᶠ ᵃˡˡ ᵗⁱᵐᵉ, ᵀᴹᴺᵀ
> 
> Book Two Out Now! 
> 
> This Story Contains #Turtlecest. 
> 
> ໓໐ຖ't likē, ໓໐ຖ't rēค໓.
> 
> After Raphael and Leonardo think that their brothers are dead from a warehouse explosion, they mourn the deaths of what remained, including the lie and betrayal of their father faking his own death to keep them safe. Raph and Leo try to move on, but more than twenty surprises hit them in the face like a ton of bricks when Donnie and Mike return to the lair after a fight for adventure. Feelings begin to bloom over the loss. And drama forms and rains over their heads like a storm.
> 
> Falling In Love With Your Own Sibling Was Never going to be easy-- but getting them to love you back was a challenge-- Only in reality-- they all loved each other just as equal. 
> 
> Read ᵂʰᵃᵗ ᴵˢ Yᵒᵘʳ ᴾᵒⁱˢᵒⁿ to find out what unfolds right before their eyes, and to be there every step of the way as these four brothers discover what true love and sacrifice truly means to have exactly what you want.

ᵂʰᵃᵗ ᴵˢ ʸᵒᵘʳ ᴾᵒⁱˢᵒⁿ  
ᶜʰᵃᵖᵗᵉʳ ᴵᴵᴵ

ᵂᵃˡᵏ ᵂⁱᵗʰ ᴹᵉ

The Letter

Michelangelo,

By the time you read this, I hope you are well in your health and maybe not too confused by all this. 

Lydia, the white witch made a promise to me- to my heart that she'd keep you all safe while I disappeared (Not that you four would have trouble taking care of yourselves) I know by now, that you all, especially Leonardo, would be very upset with me, And angry and disappointed that your own Father would fake his own death, Just to take a trip that you, nor the rest of your brothers wouldn't have the strength of taking alongside me. 

I wanna firstly give you my deepest apologies, Michelangelo. You are the youngest of your brothers and always learned the fastest out of the four. That Is why it is my duty to give you this letter, and have you promise to keep your word about my unfortunate downfall.

It breaks my heart for you all to find out that I have broken the number one rule in our family and as you already know; that is to keep no secrets and tell no lies. I once dreamt that our nest would never separate or break apart. But I have discovered some new's that could bring a very special somebody back into my life, and he too could meet the men I've led with his very own work. 

There is something I have yet to teach you four, and that it's okay to think of yourself for once. Or even from time to time. The last time I and Donatello sat down and spoke, he asked me was it okay to be selfish sometimes, and I had told him it was. And this, Michelangelo, it is one of those situations. 

I didn't want you, or any of your brothers finding out this way or like this, at all. But this time, a lie was necessary and was needed so you all wouldn't be so concerned. 

And death, a lie about death was a fool's way out and I am deeply sorry for the bruises I've put on all of your hearts. 

I really do hope to see you all very soon, and I need you to be strong for me, I need you four to take care of yourselves, and take care of each other while I am away and please, please don't fight. This is an old rat's fault and within time, I hope you and your brothers will forgive me. 

I love you, my sons.

Michelangelo, Leonardo, Raphael, and Donatello. Never forget these words of mine, and this is goodbye, for now. 

Sincerely,

Your Father, Splinter. 

This was unbelievable and completely unbearable. 

"Why," Mikey whispered, his tears dripping onto the paper, and staining it, "Just- why," he asked as if someone or something could give him an answer to all of his questions. 

Beforehand, Mikey was setting up a fire outside of Manhattan. He, without a sharp weapon, couldn't catch any real food, so this was one of the first time's he had to go without eating for a long while. He eventually found a warm place to settle, but the abandoned shack he came across wasn't exactly as sheltered as he wanted it to be. 

Mikey wanted food, but he didn't have the heart to kill innocent animals. He too was an animal, and in some sense, he felt as if he was disrespecting his own kind. 

He sat back on the steal surface, of what you'd 'call' a wall. The letter still in hand, and stained with the tears that fell from his eyes. 

"God, what is Raph gonna do when he finds out about this?" Mikey mumbled, "He is gonna totally freak the fuck out," he exhaled, speaking quietly then folding up the letter again, and neatly placing it back into his belt. 

The fire crackled in front of him. 

Michelangelo decided that he would make a move on getting a vehicle in the Morning- Though he wasn't really a morning person. But he had to get back home, to his brothers and tell them about Splinter. Even though his father said not to. But he couldn't just keep such a big secret from them. 

Could he?

His hands resting on his knees, he thought about a plan, or even if he needed one. Stealing a car wasn't that big of a deal. But to Leo, it would be. Minor grand-theft-auto wouldn't exactly be considered stealing if he left a note, saying he'd return it or leave it someplace for the owner to get it back. 

He knew the idea was stupid, but it was the only way back home and he definitely wasn't walking back. Things might have been easier if he had Klunk here with him. He sure did miss his cat and his adorable, little face. 

He thought for a moment if his brothers would actually take care of the animal while he was away and was worried Klunk might die without him. But then again he was being ridiculous. He didn't think Donnie would let that happen. He loved animals just as much as Mikey did. 

Mikey lowered his legs and kept them flat on some blankets he took from someone's clothesline. He made a packed to return them like he would everything else he stole. Though it wasn't that much. 

He lied down by the fire, and laid on his back, with an elbow placed carefully behind his head. He wondered about what was going to happen when he returned home, and if anyone was going to yell at him for being so absent. He'd have to come up with a story if someone decided to pile extra chores onto his shell. 

Then again, he enjoyed being pushed around a small bit. He had a thing for it and definitely enjoyed taking orders from Raph. 

Mikey's mind wondered to Raphie and realized how much he missed the hot-head. Even when Raph was angry Mikey still looked up to him as some sort of God. When he was pissed, Mikey, of course, was scared of him, but something told him, he should just go up to his brother and try to restrain him a bit more often and talk to him more. 

Raphael wasn't much of a talker unless something interested him. And by interested him, Mikey knew it had to do with something that made him angry or just gave him an excuse to make fun of someone, or one of them. 

Mikey was the one Raph picked on the most and sometimes Mikey could handle it. Sometimes he couldn't and wanted to hit back when Raph smacked him or even laid his hands on him. 

Thinking about it now, Mikey wished he would have done something about it in the past and from now on, He'd try and stand up for himself a lot more. His fists clenched beneath his head and all of these thoughts only pushed him deeper into a hole he knew he'd never get out of unless he confronted the bully himself.

But how could he when he was so hypocritical. As soon as he saw Raph, his legs went to jelly and were stuck in a single place like there was gum stuck to the bottom of his feet. 

Raph may have been an angry dick head. But something about him being like that is why Mikey loved him most out of his brothers. He loved them all, but Raphie was his in some kinda messed up way- It was facts. 

He knew then that he had to get home. It was happening in the Morning whether he liked it or not. 

But there was something else he had to think about, and it was the letter. He debated whether he wanted to tell his brothers or not. Whether he should, or disobey Splinter's word like he did the family rules. 

Did loyalty mean that much to him, Even after the man he knew his whole life, lied to him about something so cruel that even he couldn't pull such a prank?

Decisions had to be made, and sacrificing the family code was one of them. He didn't know when, but he knew he'd have to soon, especially before something drastic happens again, and this time, if death occurred, he knew, even if it pained him to admit such a thing- he knew it would be real this time and no lies would be told. And losing one of his siblings broke him in half just thinking about it. 

He couldn't even imagine what things would be like if it actually happened. 

Soon, Michelangelo was drifting in and out of unconsciousness and sleep stole his mind and took it to a place he knew best. 

Home.

It wasn't long before Morning came, and coming to think of it Mikey went to bed pretty early because, by the time he awoke, Fog on the outside of the small shack he resigned in was creeping in beneath the old, wooden, door. 

He wasn't fully awake but lying there on the shaggy blankets reminded him of when he was a kid. When things were a lot rougher than they are now. At Home, Mikey actually has his own bed, and when the turtles were younger, Splinter had prepared the best he could for them. 

Mikey's eyes slipped open at the thought of his father and knew it was time to go.

He reached for his face with both hands and carefully rubbed his eyes, and sighed, dreading the future and constantly thinking about and obsessing over the plan he had built over in his mind from the night before. 

And out of all honesty - Getting back home was something he actually wanted this time, when a scale-out of one to one-hundred, he was always at least a fourteen in the department of wanting to go back home once he left it. 

The lair was a safe-haven, Yeah. But being there for nearly twenty years without doing anything much of productive work Got old, quick to Mikey because he always had to be doing something and that always meant something fun. Something that kept him perked up and had his adrenaline pumping. 

Without hesitation, and after a while, Mikey realized why Raph worked out so much. Working out was his way of calming down, or blowing off steam to gain what adrenaline he craved for. In the past, Mikey bothered Raph a couple of times while he was doing one of his daily routines of lifting weights. He was lifting around a three-hundred pounder sit up-and-sit down type of thing and He guessed today really wasn't the day to annoy his older brother, because, by the end of the night, Raph nearly broke Mikey's arm and gave him a busted lip, which didn't hurt so bad, but someone the size of Raph trying to snap a bone was like Hulk stepping on a boulder to him, compared to what Mikey could do. 

That Night Leo and Don had to literally pry Raph off of their little brother. Something evil was running wild in Raphael's head that evening and for a moment, he scared the smaller turtle. Looking into the hot-heads eyes while he gritted his teeth out of pure anger was something he couldn't bring himself to forget, due to how it made him feel, emotionally and physically inside. 

Something about Raph's stare, Intimidated Mike. It was like that led head was pulling him in with his eyes and drinking him up like a big glass of water. 

Mikey then shot up from his balled up blankets and huffed out of frustration. 

"I'm wasting time," he said, sounding a little breathless and jumping to his feet. He eyed the fire pit he had made out of a hole in the ground, with some twigs and sticks he found around the area behind the secluded neighborhood he ran away from a couple of days ago. He decided that it was time to finally get going and scooped up a couple of hand fulls of snow to put out the fire, and to his surprise, it actually worked. 

Mikey took one last glance at the shack and saluted it with a farewell goodbye, and thanked it silently for protecting him over this snowy weather, and jogged away going through the trees and moving towards that same neighborhood, again. 

During the jog; Mikey wondered about that woman that saved him. 

Lydia was it. 

He prayed that she was okay and hadn't died or anything because, for him, old people were like children. Innocent and at the end of the day they didn't know any better, especially if they had some sort of mental issue. 

Stop, You're thinking too much into it and you'll only worry- Especially if she's in pain or worse. Gotta keep movin' Mikester. 

Mikey continued to jog and gradually got faster until his toes were practically digging into the snow and dirt as he ran. He knew that there was something about jogging in the snow that made him feel good, made him feel freer, he assumed it was because of the temperature. He normally hated the cold, but there was one thing he could level with about Winter and that was Christmas. And Christmas, or about any Holiday that involved food, he loved. 

It was days after the fire, and he realized just as he made it to a small house on the corner of the neighborhood, he hadn't thought about Donatello all that much. He forgot that D was in the fire too, and trapped just like he was. Something stabbed at his heart thinking about what a fool he was to of forgotten something like that. Mikey knew he was slacking as a ninja and it was a poor choice of words to use, but he was failing his Father as well. Though he didn't particularly like him at the moment. Especially after reading that damned letter of his. 

Peeking over a hedge that was salted with snow, Mikey spotted a sedan in the driveway and a sports motorbike that looked brand spanking new. Or he assumed that maybe the owner just took really good care of it which was also something that reminded him of his brother Raph. That big lug loved cars and bikes and so did Mikey- Especially ones that were entirely life-threatening and could go faster than the speed of sound. 

The bright purple paint on the bike was appealing to Mikey and he loved it right away and knew that this was his ticket out of here. But not too fast for a ticket because he didn't really remember how to hot-wire, because he's never had to before. 

He was sure to look around before crossing through the bushes and over to the bike, hoping to Shell that there wasn't an alarm on this thing or else, he'd have to make a break for it. 

He made it over to the bike with swift movements and trusted that he wasn't going to get seen as a lot of the other times. Michelangelo was a ninja at heart but being quiet wasn't exactly his stronghold. So this time, he made extra sure that he needed to keep things down. 

He examined the bike carefully, checking if the owner would somehow have left his or her key in its ignition. But of course, Mikey was hoping beyond the moon with that one. Just as expected, there was no key and there was no cake either, which made him sigh in defeat and began to fiddle around with the bike, but made sure to not mess with anything he didn't think he should mess with. 

"Here goes, Nothin'"

Mikey wasn't much of a handy-man and neither was Raph, but he knew a lot more than Mikey did and this wasn't one of those times he could shout for help or get a second opinion on where the hell the wires were on a motorbike. 

After a few guesses and looking around frantically after hearing every single sound, Mikey found a compartment of wires, near the engine and grabbed a couple between his fingers and sighed heavily ready to run if he got this wrong and accidentally made this machine explode. While taking a wire between his thumb and middle finger, Mikey leaned forward and bit down with his teeth to separate the two halves and done the same with another wire he guessed out of a million was the right one. 

Wrong

Mikey touched the two-wire tips together and he waited, watching the sparks fly right in front of his face. 

Nothing happened, and he looked at his surroundings once more and jumped when he heard a car door a few rows down, him realizing and remembering that he was in broad daylight, again and had to make this as fast as he could while fearing of getting caught. 

Swallowing his pride, he grabbed another wire and repeated his actions. "C'mon C'mon," he chanted in a low whisper, his teeth together, and feeling a bead of sweat roll down the side of his forehead. 

Just then, he connected the wires again, this time, the engine roared to life. "Yes!" he said, almost shouting while feeling very proud of himself. "Who's the man? Michelangelo is!" he giggled, doing a little dance. 

While having so much fun with his celebration, Mikey didn't realize how loud he was becoming and didn't hear the front door to the small condo open. 

"Who the fuck are you?" 

Mikey froze and was now aware he wasn't alone and had to put his party on hold, for later. He slowly turned, skidding on his heel and he saw a man he assumed was in his early forties. He was a bit over-weight and held a beer gut the size of a hubcap. 

Mikey raised his hand, wincing a small bit at the ache in his ribs, remembering that he was still healing and needed to take it a bit easy for a couple more days, but this guy- he didn't seem like the fighting type. "Heh, hey there! I um-" 

"The fuck are you doin' with my son's bike? What are you? I'm callin' the feds!" the guy shouted, his jersey accent cutting right through the air. And Mikey thought this guy was out of his mind. But then again, he couldn't blame him, because, he was stealing the bike. 

"Uh, Gotta go!" Mikey said with a nervous laugh and threw one leg over the seat of the bike, not having a clue on how to drive one of these things. The engine revved when Mikey grabbed ahold of the handlebars and pulled back. He flew forward and yanked the bike towards the right and off he went.

"Hey! Get back here, Freak!" the guy yelled after the turtle, "You pigs better Get here fast- there's uh damn lizard stealin' my kid's motorcycle!" Mikey heard the guy yelling all over the neighborhood. 

"Sorry! Not sorry! Woohoo!" he cheered, revving the bike again, and he lurched forward, Going almost eighty now. The wind was blowing in his face and the bike purring beneath his shell felt great. "This is freaking awesome!" Mikey yelled, laughing but not paying too much attention to the road and he glanced up and saw a truck coming down the road, directly in front of him. 

"Woah!" 

The truck in front of him was nailing down on its horn and Mikey swerved out of the way and blew right passed the car, and got on the right side of the road. He couldn't believe he was actually driving and by far this was the most fun he's had in a long time. 

He continued down the road, Getting on the main highway now, He saw Manhattan right in front of his eyes and sped up, hitting one-fifteen, which was impossibly illegal, but at this point, Mikey didn't care. He was having the time of his life and couldn't wait to tell the others about it. 

He leaned forward, Getting a good grip on the handlebars this time without being so shaky and he pulled up hard, and before he knew it, he was doing a wheelie down the interstate. His eyes wide with surprise, and adrenaline rushing through his veins and fueling his blood, he let out a cackled laugh and kept it going for a few more minutes until he let go and landed back on both wheels. 

The trip went on for what seemed like hours when in reality it was only about thirty minutes of driving until Mikey hit the third exit to get off towards New York and with what knowledge he learned from driving this beast so far, he kicked it up a notch and done one final wheelie, but it was cut short when he heard the bike make a funky noise, and something popped like a balloon. 

Mikey tried to pull on the breaks to slow down, but they weren't working for some reason. 

"Oh, shit!" Mikey cursed, eyes going wide again, realizing the wires from earlier that he cut the first time might have actually been the breaks, "Oh man, Oh man, Oh man!" 

He tried the breaks a final time, and he was going so fast that he couldn't even make out what was passing him on the road. The bike wasn't going to stop and Mikey knew there was only one way outta this situation and unfortunately, he also knew that it wasn't going to end pretty and the only way it was going to go was with him ending up with a few scratches. 

But what was he thinking- what was he even talking about? 

"I'm a damn Ninja," he said with a short breath, feeling his heart pounding in his chest. 

He had to be quick about this, and no matter what way he planned for it to go, It wasn't going to be painless. 

Looking around for any openings, he was still on a straight road, not needing or even wanting to turn anytime soon, he had to find something and fast because the further he traveled the more traffic he saw. 

After the incident a couple of years back, Mikey wasn't all that afraid of being seen in public. Although being seen stealing someone's bike wasn't exactly something he planned on letting someone see him do, and when Leo found out- Things weren't going to be as pretty as the bike wreck he was about to encounter. 

Without any quick idea's or luck, Mikey knew he was gonna have to jump this one and Make a run for one of the alleyways, which was something he of course, like the rest of his family, was always familiar with.

"Just do it- Gotta do it now before it's too late!" with his ribs still aching and hands trembling- and actually being scared this time, Mikey was headed for a fence near the city dump and this could be a little easier than he imagined. 

"Fuck~ Okay" He huffed, inhaling deeply through his nose and revved the bike just one more time and tried his best to hurry and climb up on the seat. He with wobbly legs and the bike still driving at high powered speed, he took a breath and shouted, "Jump!"

Michelangelo, being the daredevil he is, launched himself off the bike and for a brief minute, he tucked himself inside of his shell and landed on the concrete a few yards away until Mikey realized he was holding his breath and gasped out a laugh when he rolled to a stop "I-I'm alive!" he giggled, Panting as his head fell back and hit the ground once he was out of his shell again. 

While taking a minute to rest, Mikey raised his head up to see the bike with no driver, swerve into oncoming traffic and cause a few fender benders. The bike soon came to a stop once it crashed into someone's newspaper stand, while civilians dove out of the way to avoid injury or unfortunate death. 

"Uh-Oh," Mikey said, slowly standing to his feet and looking to his left of the sidewalk and saw a couple of young kids who were about ten or twelve, staring at him with wide eyes and open mouths, like they couldn't believe what they saw. 

One of the kids had a skateboard in his hand and the other a scooter. The one with the board had a helmet and knee pads on that didn't look exactly his size. Mikey smiled at the children. Completly forgetting about the conflict going on down the street from the wrecked bike "Hey; That's a pretty sweet board, where'd you get it?" 

The boy with the scooter gapped at Mikey with awe. 

"M-My Dad made it for me, he u-um, paints things," the taller one with the skateboard in hand had replied. 

"Are you a superhero?" the smaller one said, still in awe, and the taller boy nudged him in the shoulder. 

Mikey laughed and shook his head, "Nope, I'm just a turtle with a friendly face, but hey- there are superheroes in the world, and you could be one someday or even now if you built your own fort!'

"Wow, a turtle? Like, those things that live in water? My sister had one of those and it bit her," 

Mikey couldn't help but enjoy his time hearing the child's small tale, and it only made his smile widen. 

"Well, I don't bite unless the ladies want me to!" Mikey said with a wink and the children looked up at him with confusion in their small eyes. 

Michelangelo had to realize who he was talking to and definitely wasn't used to speaking with kids, so Mikey just smiled again and shrugged, "Heh, You kids stay in school!" and with that, Mikey ran off, Going towards the closest alleyway possible. 

The kid's he was leaving behind still had shocked expressions on their faces and knew it was going to be a tale to tell their parents when they returned home. 

ᵀᵒ ᴮᵉ Cᵒⁿᵗⁱⁿᵘᵉᵈ


	5. ᴹⁱᵈⁿⁱᵍʰᵗ Sʷⁱᵐ

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> " ᵂʰᵃᵗ ᴵˢ Yᵒᵘʳ ᴾᵒⁱˢᵒⁿ "   
ᴵˢ ᵇᵃˢᵉᵈ ᵘᵖᵒⁿ ᶜᵒᵐᵖˡᵉᵗᵉ ᶠⁱᶜᵗⁱᵒⁿ ᵃⁿᵈ ⁱᵈᵉᵃ'ˢ ᴴʸᵈʳᵃᵏⁱⁿᶻ, ᴴᵃˢ ᶜᵒˡˡᵉᶜᵗᵉᵈ ᵒᵛᵉʳ ᵗʰᵉ ᵖˡᵒᵗ ᵒᶠ ʰᵉʳ ᶠᵃᵛᵒʳⁱᵗᵉ ᶠᵃⁿᵈᵒᵐ ᵒᶠ ᵃˡˡ ᵗⁱᵐᵉ, ᵀᴹᴺᵀ
> 
> Book Two Out Now! 
> 
> This Story Contains #Turtlecest. 
> 
> ໓໐ຖ't likē, ໓໐ຖ't rēค໓.
> 
> After Raphael and Leonardo think that their brothers are dead from a warehouse explosion, they mourn the deaths of what remained, including the lie and betrayal of their father faking his own death to keep them safe. Raph and Leo try to move on, but more than twenty surprises hit them in the face like a ton of bricks when Donnie and Mike return to the lair after a fight for adventure. Feelings begin to bloom over the loss. And drama forms and rains over their heads like a storm.
> 
> Falling In Love With Your Own Sibling Was Never going to be easy-- but getting them to love you back was a challenge-- Only in reality-- they all loved each other just as equal. 
> 
> Read ᵂʰᵃᵗ ᴵˢ Yᵒᵘʳ ᴾᵒⁱˢᵒⁿ to find out what unfolds right before their eyes, and to be there every step of the way as these four brothers discover what true love and sacrifice truly means to have exactly what you want.

ᵂʰᵃᵗ ᴵˢ ʸᵒᵘʳ ᴾᵒⁱˢᵒⁿ  
ᶜʰᵃᵖᵗᵉʳ ᴵⱽ

ᴹⁱᵈⁿⁱᵍʰᵗ ʷⁱᵐ

[ Michelangelo ]

I couldn't wait to lie down in my own bed, eat my own food and shower in my own water. 

Going home was definitely going to be a real treat for myself and for the remaining week or so because keeping secrets was something I hated, dude.

I just wasn't good at it. There was somethin' in my eye that always gave it away and I hated THAT even more. So, what I'm gonna do when I get back to the lair, is go straight for my room. 

Yeah, straight to my room. 

After I headed down that alleyway towards the first sewage entrance I could get my eyes on, I actually felt pretty damn nervous about going back to the lair. Things felt different for some reason. Least to me, It did. 

I looked around to make sure nobody was following me before lifting the lid on the manhole, and luckily there wasn't. I feared that those two kids would have been curious like I would have been. Especially after seeing a giant turtle dude like myself pull some jackass stunt off a motorcycle and nearly killing himself. 

I took a final glance around my surroundings before jumping down the ladder and splashing into a giant puddle of water and sewage gunk. 

"Eek, That's totally gross," I whined while shaking off my feet one by one. "Guess that's one thing I could have avoided if I took things a lil bit slower,"

Rethinking my decision of stomping all-around in water, I was much slower with my steps than usual and took my time getting back to the lair. There was a gut feeling deep down in my plastron that I couldn't shake on my way down. I was starving as usual but I didn't think I could actually make myself eat right this second.

How the fuck am I going to do this? 

The closer I got to home, the louder I could hear whatever was going on. I heard music, or maybe a television. Then, I realized the closer I got It wasn't music or a TV; It was Raph. 

"The fuck do you mean I can't go out there lookin' for him? Neither of you can tell me what to do anymore!" he yelled. Raph's voice was deep and rocky like it always had been since we hit puberty- Which was something even us mutated turtles had to deal with. 

My muscles got stiff hearing his voice. It made everything so hazy knowing I was gonna get to see my siblings again, It felt like it had been forever. 

Forever, ended now, I guess, I wondered who Raph was talking about and the more I listened, the slower I became with my steps. I couldn't believe I was eavesdropping on my own family- God, what have I came to. I wanted to laugh at the thought but sheesh, I can be sneaky too. 

I slid along the wall, tiptoeing and slowly making my way down the outstretched pipeline. Raph's voice echoing off the walls, which made the bottom of my feet vibrate. 

"I'm not saying he's dead, or alive, Raphael!" Don said raising his voice but sounding faint and exhausted as if he had been arguing with that lug nut for hours. 

"Yeah, neither of us said that. We just got Donatello back- We don't need you wandering off looking for something and coming up empty-handed" Leo butted in. 

The ground rumbled again underneath my feet at the sound of Raph's growls that ripped out of his chest like some caged animal, "What the fuck makes you think I will come out empty-handed, Leo? Man, You really have changed since Splinter died! You don't even got hope in your own goddamn brotha!" Raphael scoffed, obviously shuffling around in the lair, "Not to mention, you didn't even wanna go back to search for Donnie! Has he told ya that yet, D? Our so-called leader didn't even wanna come lookin' for ya after we thought you were dead!"

I blinked in confusion and shook my head, smelling the tension in the air. This was a bad time to come home and to find out that Leonardo didn't even wanna look for me after the explosion was a little disappointing and hurtful. 

I mouthed a Why and peeked around the corner, spotting the three in the middle of the lair. Leo sat at the dining table, with Donnie at his side, but he was staring at him with a concerned look on his face. I could tell that Don was obviously a little pissed. You always could when he furrowed his brows together, though we didn't have any- Unfortunately.

Donnie's lips parted, as Leo met his eyes and I could see the emotion in his own change when they stared at one another. It was, Odd. 

"Why didn't you wanna look for me, or Mikey?" Don asked, voice calm but hushed while he slid his fallen glasses up from the bridge of his nose. 

Leo shook his head, obviously getting angry and I watched as he stood from the table and pointed from one turtle to the other, "You two make it seem like I don't give a shell about this family! Like I didn't wanna look for you!" pointing towards Donnie, "Like I don't care about our baby brother who is probably still out there!" he snarled, flipping the table as the bowl of fruit that sat in the middle, flew everywhere, "I didn't wanna look because I didn't wanna find another goddamn disappointment!"

I sighed silently- Wanting to cover my ears from all the yelling and screaming. I could relate to Leo on a mental level. I understood disappointment more than anyone I knew, or from what I did know so far. He didn't wanna search because of dad, though what he doesn't know, is that he's not actually dead. 

"Disappointment? That's all you got? Regardless of the disappointment, Leo, I still woulda looked because You wanna know why?" Raph said getting right at Leo's level and in his face, "I would of at least wanted to find a body to bury because we didn't get a chance to bury dad"

Saying that seemed to of softened Leo up a bit and Donnie stood not too many inches away from yet another broken table with fruit scattered everywhere. 

"Well, maybe if you told me that instead of yellin' your head off, I would have maybe reconsidered it, Raphael," Leo said, now quiet and full of emotion. 

I stood and watched my brothers, I was afraid to get any closer. I was regretting coming home, to begin with. Though they would be looking for me anyway- I hated hearing them fight. I hated the yelling and I especially hated the chores they gave me if I annoyed them too much. 

Raph shook his head and clenched his fists, "Reconsidered it? You shouldn't have-" 

"Guys, we have an intruder," Don said, with his nose in the air and coming forward, making sure to step over a now bruised apple lying on the floor. 

"What?" Leo asked, eyes wide, while looking right at Donnie. 

Raphael took a big sniff of the air above him and pulled out his sai's and by the moment I heard them smelling around, I knew right then that I was screwed, "Shit!" I silently cursed and slowly backed away into the darkness of the pipeline and tripped over a rock in the water. 

I fell back into the shallow pool, and a huge splash covered each side of the walls, right and left of me. I landed on my butt and groaned a bit. I was totally screwed and now my ass hurt.

"Ouch,"

I looked up and saw my brother at the end of the tunnel. He didn't move, nor did he ask questions. I was more surprised to not see him at my throat yet. 

Do I stink? Maybe I got sprayed by a skunk and hadn't gotten the chance to take a whiff of it yet.

I could practically feel the heat coming off of Raph's body and he growled taking a step forward, the water pooling under his feet, "If I were you, I'd tell me who the fuck ya are before I Rip your head off and feed it to the fishes, Ya runt!"

"Take It easy Raph, this guy could have wandered down here by accident," Leo said, climbing up next him and walking a few inches ahead.

I felt tired of playing this game and rolled my eyes, "God, Have you guys really forgotten what your own flesh n' blood smells like? It's like playin' hide-and-go-seek with candles again," I giggled shamelessly and stood up out of the water and came into the light and Greeted my brothers with my presence and I saw Raph's face fall. 

Leo just looked at me, like I wasn't even standing here. I waved my hand at him, "Uh, Leo, Raph, Ya guys okay?" 

"Mikey?" I heard Don say coming out from behind Raph, taking up the rest of the archway with his stature. 

"Yeah, D, It's me. Why are you guys fighting?" I asked, Ignoring the stilling silence coming from Raph, along with his death stare.

Leo shook his head and just smiled while coming forward, bringing me into a tight hug and planting a kiss on top of my head. I shrieked at the contact, "Aww, c'mon, fearless, not the sloppy kisses! I still gotta bathe and you just gave me another reason to,"

"You're okay," He said into my ear with a knowing smile on his face as he continued to squeeze my shell tightly enough to cut off my breathing and I coughed. 

"O-Ow, Leo, I can't b-breathe! Ribs, hurt!" I gagged and shoved him off me and he let out a chuckle. Which was something I felt like I hadn't heard in ages.

"Ribs? Are you injured?" Donnie asked, coming closer to analyze me with his gadget, goggle thingies. 

"A bit. I got really wounded in that fight and from what I remember, a big box fell on me" I shrugged, and saw Raph again over Don's shoulder. His eyes still on me and it was beginning to worry me, but I continued to ignore it for now. I looked back up at Doctor Donatello, who was doing some sort of examination on me.

"All your stats are vital, except sleep is recommended. Have you eaten anything?" Donnie questioned and I nodded my head while giving him a small frown. 

"Yes, n' no" I shrugged again. 

"Hopefully you didn't steal any food, Mikey," Leo said, commenting with his leader-like-tone again. 

I shook my head, "I've been a good boy" I lied. 

"Well, Either way- I'm happy you're here, we all are. I for one have missed your annoying little ass," Donnie said, Smiling at me. "So, when you're ready I'll order some take out and Raph can go get it. Right, Raph?" Donnie said, Glancing at my red-banded brother. 

Raph didn't say anything or move, he was just there, standing there like a deer caught in the headlights. 

"Yeah, he'll go and get it. He and Mikey can go and get it" Leo said without exception or argument as he walked away and went back into the Lair. 

I gawked at Leonardo, him knowing I was, "Leo!" I moaned as Don's head snapped to look at me, but I paid no mind. I was walking forward before I even knew it and went to pass my second eldest brother to run after Leo to make him reconsider his decision until my forearm brushed against Raph's, and it made me stop in my tracks. He was burning up, and by burning up, His skin felt like lava. 

With shock on my face, I looked all the way up at him, Not expecting him to be looking back at me. I felt my own heat rise to my cheeks. His eyes were cutting right through my soul and into my heart. Raph was hiding something and just by this, I was stuck again, and couldn't move. Like that damn gum on the bottom of my feet again. 

My mouth went dry as he stared back me, his lips parting "Good to see ya again, Lil Bro," he finally said, "Should shower up before you go back out, Don't want ya gettin' sick," Raph told me as he turned around and hopped down to the Lair, Going in Leo's direction. 

"So I'm not the only one, huh?" I heard Donnie say and I turned in his direction and as expected, he was there at my side, arms crossed. 

I looked around, making sure he was talking to me, "What do you mean?"

"Don't play dumb, Michelangelo. I see how you look at Raph, and gosh if only you saw how I look at Leo," he said with a sly smile, obviously biting the inside of his cheek to take off the edge of being so nervous. 

I was at a loss for words. Was Donnie really telling me what I think he was telling me? This had to be some sort of joke. 

"What're you talkin' about, D?" I asked while shaking my head, but also with a hint of amusement in my voice. 

Donnie lowered his head and done that thing with his glasses again. He was flushed, "Mikey- There are some things you will never be prepared for, and the thing I'm talking about is one of those," 

Staring at Donnie's face was all a mystery for me, and something about it told me that he too was hiding a secret. I heard him sigh, and his nostrils flared, his expression met mine and we just stared for a moment until his mouth pressed into a hard line, "I'm really happy to see that you're okay Mikey- I thought that we were goners back there. I had trouble finding the lair afterward, but I made it and you did too, we all did. Come see me if those injuries of yours get any worse. You are more prone to getting infections due to being so warm-blooded," he said, nodding at me with approval and then he added a smile and patted the top of my head and headed back towards the lair, where he disappeared into his Lab. 

I stood there for a moment, Gathering everything that has happened for the last twenty minutes or so. I appreciated the Welcome Home committee, but the only thing I could think about was what Donnie said, and the damn note. 

For a minute, my head was spinning and something inside me was stirring deep in my gut. I needed to lie down, and soon. Or else the ground was going to become my bed again and I'd rather not use the concrete for a landing spot. 

I quickly made my way into the lair, admiring the way it looks and missing it more than I thought I would. Everything was like home to me again, and for once in the last few days or so, I felt safe. 

Sort Of.

After I reached my room, I pulled off what gear I had on, including my mask. I felt a little hesitant to leave it by itself again. My whole life, it's been kind of like this thing that's been attached to my body nor did I ever bother taking it off, unless needed. Looking at how tattered it was becoming- I was a little scared that one day I wouldn't have it anymore. It became my shield and not only was I a Ninja and have the talent to be hidden from the world, but the mask alone was my way of hiding away from not just that but even my family when I didn't feel like being myself for once. 

I spotted my radio on the nightstand next to my mattress and grinned from cheek to cheek. Missing music more than I could ever imagine. And at times like these, before a shower, I always put on music. For me, it made the experience so much better, like I had my very own private concert going on in there. 

I jumped over next to my bed and flipped the switch on the Power button and my room was immediately filled with the sweet sounds of Mark Morrison. When it came to music, the oldies were my favorite. Especially old-fashioned hip-hop or rap. I also began to worry if my radio was a bit too loud for my first time being back home. When I listened to music, Donnie or Raph always made me turn it down or wear headphones. That's the whole point of why I got an iPod for my last birthday and a couple of new radios over the last few years, due to Raph breaking them, again and again. 

But- I was feeling a little rebelic and in the need to bust some moves while having scolding hot water pouring over my carapace. Plus, I didn't think my brothers had a right to complain about anything- I'm currently planning like an evil villain from some comic book. I wanted to over-do my Welcome Home and maybe stir up some drama, though, to some people, that idea would sound crazy but with me, a small turtle, and knowing I've got three elder brothers breathing down my neck and ready to snap it when I infuriated them, intrigued me from time to time, and believe me, when I've got a board with boosty pads on it, I can get away from them in a flash.

As I entered my bathroom, I switched on the water, which still worked like a charm. I got it as hot as I possibly could get it and stepped in underneath, still being able to hear the music from my bedroom coming through the walls. I felt the music coursing through my body and moved underneath the water, feeling more relaxed than I had been for days now. Everything has been so on edge, so tense and stressful. That's the way it always is in this family and sometimes, I just wished things could be like this more often for me, for maybe the rest of my brothers. 

I didn't think Raph could handle things being peaceful all the time. He loves violence too much and maybe so did Leo. They loved the action-packed life we lived on a day to day bases. Me, I loved getting into scrambles from time to time, but in some sort of way- I felt as if this life wasn't exactly meant for me. 

I wondered if Don felt the same. I wondered if that brainiac wanted to go to an actual school and become something bigger than what we already were. And I knew what we were, and what we always will be, and that was just Turtles. 

Ninjas, living by the code, by the shadows. 

But Maybe sometimes, maybe I actually wanted to be seen, and have the people of the world notice me. But it was a shot in the dark from here on out. 

I closed my eyes, letting those doubts fill my head as the water stung and pride my skin apart. Though moments like these, the ones I spent in the shower, was the moments when all my negatives were washed away beneath me and down the drain. 

I raised my head in the air, letting the water pour down my neck, chest, and, plastron. The heat that pooled in my stomach earlier was disappearing with the rest of my pain aching in my body and Everything felt a little smoother to deal with. Just bruises and scratches. But with less broken bones, the fewer problems I had. 

My mind wandered back, almost forgetting about the way Raphael was looking at me, and practically pinning me down with his eyes. The words Don had said, echoed in my mind like I was in some long corridor in a haunted mansion. 

"Don't play dumb, Michelangelo, I see how you look at Raph"

How do I look at him?

Did Donnie see the way Raph was looking at me? Did he see the look in his eyes and the way they weren't being taken off of me? It was the first time I saw actual fear in his eyes when he noticed that I was safe. Seeing me made him go all pale, and probably a lot greener than usual. 

"Gosh if only you saw how I look at Leo,"

What did he mean by all this? Was there some sort of emotion forming for Donnie about Leo? Did he think the same for me about Raph?

My eyes popped open when I heard a loud thud on the outside of my bedroom door, and I let out a small squeak and pressed my backside against the wall. 

"Turn that crud off Mikey! We gotta get goin' so, Hurry up in there would ya!" Raph said from the other side. 

I rolled my eyes, realizing how typical of something like this happening actually is, "Well, You're the one who told me to shower, Raphael!" 

Sheesh. Can't a guy have a little privacy!

"Well, if ya don't hurry up then I'll just have tah come in there and get ya!" he replied, landing another bang on the outside of my door that was locked, but no match for Raph to rip right through. 

I stopped at his words, maybe rethinking my decision on staying in awhile longer. 

"A-Alright, Just give me a minute," I retorted and switched off the shower with a sigh and got out stepping onto the fuzzy rug placed in front of the bath. 

The noise from outside of my bedroom went quiet and I thankfully didn't find Raph standing center in my room when I returned, with a towel around my waist. For a moment I took a minute to listen, to make sure and so far, Everything was good. I dropped the towel on the floor once I proved my use for it and grabbed my belt and buckled it around my hips. 

I went to grab my bandana and realized it wasn't there.

"What?" I mumbled, Moving blankets and pillows out of the way to search for my mask, but it was gone. 

I was puzzled because I just had it. It was here, on my bed, I put it right here. 

"Lookin' for somethin'?"

I spun around and saw Raph leaning on my dresser, which wasn't used as much as I'd like. He held up the mask I cherished and wiggled it in-between his fingers, with a smirk on his face. 

"How'd you get in here, I locked that door!" I said, stomping my feet and going to grab for my mask, but he held it up higher. 

Damn hell to all those who thought being short was a good idea. 

Raph chuckled lowly and held his arm up higher when I jumped for it a second time, "How'd I get in here, Mikey? Bro, You might wanna reword your sentence, and think about how I really got in here," he laughed again, watching me struggle. 

"Give it back, Raph!" I whined, Jumping for his bicep and clinging to it. I wrapped my arms around his wrist and he lifted me into the air with little no trouble. 

"What do I get if I give it back to you, Mikey?" Raph asked, Swaying me side to side while I clung to his arm like a monkey wanting a banana. 

"I don't know! Give it back!" I huffed, "Please," 

Raph put me down and gave the piece of fabric to me while placing it neatly in my hand, but not letting go of it just yet. He eyed me and smirked again. 

"You gonna keep your music turned down?" he asked, his eyes flicking from his hand to my face. 

"Yes, but-" The ends of the fabric slipping from my hand the moment I spoke. 

Raph snatched it again, "But nothin' Mikey! Turn it up again and you will get your mask back in pieces" 

My eyes widened in a plea, "You wouldn't do that" I said, lowering my eyes at him but with my attempt to be intimidating. 

He raised an eye ridge and with a small snarl, "I wouldn't, huh? Try me, because today I'm not feeling very playful," he said, meeting eye to eye with me. I felt my face flush, and the heat rising in my throat again. 

I chewed on my bottom lip, and he looked to soften at my action, "F-Fine, Now give it!" I whined again, and this time when I pulled on my bandana, he let go and gave it back. 

"I'll be waitin' downstairs for ya, Don't take too long," Raph said, following my eyes as He left the room. 

As soon as he left, I raced over to slam my door shut. The lock looking fine, and I assumed he just picked it or something. I shook my head, knowing that my brother practically just tried to rob or kill me. I gathered myself and took a moment in making sure the tie behind my head was perfect. 

Stupid, Stupid, Stupid

This brought me back to exactly what I was warning myself about earlier. I'm meant to be standing up for myself. Not letting Raph, the so-called big bully run all over me. 

"Ugh!" I grunted, and exited the room, not bothering to put anything else on, except for my favorite hoodie that hung low below my waist. I didn't think of wearing anything special, because we were just going for food, right?

After sliding down the railing to meet up with the bottom floor of the lair, I didn't see Raph anywhere. I started to roll my eyes and spotted Donnie on the sofa, flicking through the television channels. 

"C'mon, where is it," he questioned, pressing another button on the remote. 

"D, where the shell is Raph? He broke into my room and practically robbed me of my rights, n' told me to be down here, then we'd leave," I explained, planting my hands on the back of the couch, watching the images flash on each TV. 

Don blinked and glanced over his shoulder at me, and giggled a bit. "Oh, Raph, he uh, said to meet him in the southward pipeline, he was in kind of a hurry and couldn't wait to eat," Donnie said, shrugging and looking back towards the TV. "Oh, One more thing- Me and Leo didn't really want anything tonight, we had some leftovers, and I know how you are about leftover Mexican food," he said, with a slight smile on his face. 

I cringed at the image of cold taco salad and stuck my tongue out in disgust. "Yeah, I'm glad you guys ate it, not really uh, what do those people say? uh, not my cup of tea" I chuckled, holding up a peace sign with my left hand.

"You mean the British, Mikey?" Donnie questioned, cocking an eye at me. 

I froze and nodded my head, laughing again, "Hah, Yeah. So, You said, southward? Why the shell couldn't he of waited for me?" I grumbled, Going for the south exit, not hearing a response from Donnie, until I crossed the archway for the pipeline. 

"Hey Mike, be careful please," He said, watching me over the couch, and I turned to look at him and shook my head, "I just- I'm a little worried about, Raph. He isn't very stable since he thought me and you were dead, so, Just try not to annoy him too much, I don't need him bringing you back with broken bones"

Stable?

"Aw, C'mon, D, Raph won't hurt me, and don't worry! I'm the turtle titan, The Nexus Champion, remember? I can handle anything!" I said, raising my voice and placing my hands over my hips to position myself in a superhero pose. 

Donnie gave me a smile and nodded his head while giving me a thumbs up, before slumping back into the cushions of the sofa. I turned and lowered my arms and made my way through the pathway that led to an opening to the city river. 

I watched the view as the lights from the tall buildings shined upon the water and made it seem so effortlessly easy to look that beautiful. I heard a couple of splashes from behind me and I didn't bother to check who was approaching- because Raph's stench wasn't exactly hard to miss. It was kind of intoxicating for me to smell.

Like a drug that entered my veins and made me feel all these different types of things that you could never want enough of. The smell of my siblings never got old to me. 

"You enjoyin' the view? I figured you'd seen enough of it with how long you vacationed in it" Said Raph, stomping up behind me. 

I didn't look at him, nor did I move. I continued to watch the water and how the snow was falling from above me and melting once it came in contact with the liquid flowing through these tunnels I call Home.

"Mikey?" I heard Raph say and I blinked, realizing that I'm doing that thing again when I'm lost in thought.

"It wasn't exactly a choice, Raphael" I snapped all of a sudden, still not looking up at him. 

I heard him scoff and with the sound of if it, he had another smart comment coming right for me. He nudged me in my shoulder, which caused me to finally break my stance and stare up at him. "I'm so sure it wasn't. What even happened back there, Donnie doesn't even wanna talk to me about it. And Leo," he laughs at the sound of our leader's name, "Leo has a stick so far up his ass he can't even see straight,"

"Leonardo is in pain, Raph! So is the rest of us!" I simply said, feeling slightly heated all of a sudden. 

Raphael just shook his head and took a step back, looking out at the water. "You think I'm not? Huh? Do you guys think I don't feel a goddamn thing?" he asked, his voice rising while coming closer, almost backing me up against the pipe walls. 

Raph was inches from me, but not close enough to touch me, and I felt the sudden urge to take control of my own actions and follow the gut feeling that's been digging in me for hours since I came home. "I never said that!" I shouted, shoving him at the chest and in an instant, Raph shoved me back and this time I felt my shell hit the wall. 

The tension in the room was getting thicker, and all the things I've been contemplating on doing were coming through. I finally had the power and this time, 

Nothing was going to stop me from handling the situation all by myself.

"Then what were ya saying then, Mikey? Because it sure as fuck sounded like you were making me seem like a heartless bastard like I don't understand a thing about feelings or even pain!" Raph said, his teeth clanging together. 

"Shut up, Raphael!" I blurted out.

"What?" he retorted quietly getting right up in my face, which totally blew me over the surface, "What'd you say to me, you little shit?"

"I said," Shoving him as hard as I could, and this time he stumbled back, "Shut up! Shut the fuck up! You don't control me! I had only one boss, one leader, It isn't Leo, it isn't you, it was Dad, It was Master Splinter!" I said, nearly screaming and even I was shocked at my own voice. Something was happening and the heat in my body was rising and It felt all too familiar. 

I saw Raph clenching his teeth together, and his eyes were towering over me like a demon and swallowing me again. 

Shit.

I backed myself up against the wall, finding it was the closest thing to keep me at my feet. I could feel the warmth from where I was standing writhing from Raph's body and the only thing I could do was hope whatever Injury I was about to endure, could be fixed. 

Raphael took a quick leap forward and slammed his fist into the wall next to me. I heard the concrete crack while my heart leaped into my throat. 

A small breathy whimper escaped my throat, "I-I'm sorry for y-yelling"

The slits in Raph's nose flared like a hungry animal and his fist remained at the wall left of my skull. He watched me, eyes carefully scanning my face like he was planning out something in his head. Right, a plan to murder me and hang my guts on the wall for decorations. 

"R-Raph, Please," I said, quiet now. I pushed myself tight against the wall, and I didn't think my shell could get any closer. 

I saw Raph's eyes soften at my words, and he blew out a hot breath from both his nostrils and mouth, but then came another. It sent chills down my body that I had never felt before in my entire life. I had been close to my brothers on many occasions, but this was probably as close as Raph has ever been to me, to my face, To my heart.

I felt another breath hit me right in the face, and from the corner of my eye, Raph placed his hand flat on the wall and braced himself to move in closer. 

What was he doing? What is happening to my body-

For what seemed like forever, his eyes finally met mine, and this wasn't your usual staring contest. I saw something different in those pools of green.

Watching Raph, his eyes flicked from mine to somethin' else that seemed to interest him. His eyes knitted together and out came another hot breath. I could have made a joke about how bad his breath smelt or something but- I couldn't bring myself to lie like that. Not right now at least.

The heat coming from his presence alone made me feel dizzy or even a little choked up inside. But as I thought this, he was closing in on me and leaning his head further down to my level, ending the gap between our bodies and connected them.

My body responded with a slight jolt and before I could react to his next move, Raph's lips were parting and pressing right up against mine. 

The world around me Stopped moving and I stilled. Not knowing whether to shove Raph away or give in to his knowing mouth. 

I felt a hand at my hip, and Raph pulled me in closer, our lower regions pressing together, causing the warmth to stir in my stomach again. 

"M-Mmf" 

He kept his lips on mine, and those eyes were still open and watching me, admiring my every move until I pressed back. Our lips colliding and molding together like some type of clay I used to play with as a kid.

God, what am I doing- What is he doing?

"Raphie," I spoke, Out of breath and we haven't even gotten started as our lips separated. 

Raph looked back at me, my head spinning and he held his hand at my hip still, but then pressed both this time at each side of my head. I rose my chin up and leaned back on the wall, As my lips were feeling slick from the kiss. His eyes were hungry as I let out a small gasp of air, and then another, my lungs finally opening then closing as he connected our lips again.

This time, the kiss was much more than I expected. It being my first time, I was surprised with myself and how I was reacting with my own brother doing it. 

Raphael. 

I carefully moved my hands up, not knowing exactly where to put them, or where to go with all of this. It was wrong- I knew it. I did, I really did, but something was telling me to just let it happen, because- 

Because I wanted it.

I pressed my hands against Raph's chest and it heaved against my touch, our lips molding again but at a larger pace.

Fuck, His lips. 

I dug my fingers into his skin, right above his plastron. His heart was hammering beneath all that muscle and I was in utter shock from how casual and slow he was being with me.

Apart of me was craving the rough-in Raph. Like I needed it and needed him to hurt me in ways I couldn't even imagine.

Our mouths slid together in sync, collecting saliva from our tongues as he forced his own in between my lips, and pressing it into mine. The kiss deepened and something felt even hotter between my legs. Something was growing in my gut and Raphael's heat seemed to stick to mine. I could smell it, it was there, lingering. 

I pressed my fingers hard into his skin and slid them up until they were at his throat, toying with the tassels of his mask. 

"Damn," Raph finally said, "Damn, Mikey I really want you," his voice deep, low and huskily. 

Our lips were inches apart again, and my hands rested right where they were. My mind was so puzzled, I didn't even know what to say- Everything was blank. And for once in my life, I'm centered speechless.

"Speak for yourself," I muttered, huffing out a breath of air, feeling something wet between my legs. 

I saw something change In Raphael's eyes, and he let go of me and backed away "We should uh, I um, I gotta get some air," 

I stood up straight, and stared at him confused, "What're you talking about? What about the food?" 

He refused to look at me, and I was baffled. "I uh, I dunno, Go and get it yourself," he said sounding harsh. 

"What? Where the hell are you going?" I shouted after him as I watched him dive out the exit and disappear. 

I threw my hands in the air, not being able to feel my legs. 

"What was that?" was all I could say and for some reason, my heart ached without his presence. 

I stood there, letting the cold air consume me, realizing everything that has happened today and more.

I knew right then, exactly what Don was talking about. 

ᵀᵒ ᴮᵉ Cᵒⁿᵗⁱⁿᵘᵉᵈ


	6. ᴬ Fⁱʳᵉ ᵀʰᵃᵗ ᵂⁱˡˡ ᴺᵉᵛᵉʳ ᴮᵘʳⁿ ᴼᵘᵗ

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> " ᵂʰᵃᵗ ᴵˢ Yᵒᵘʳ ᴾᵒⁱˢᵒⁿ "   
ᴵˢ ᵇᵃˢᵉᵈ ᵘᵖᵒⁿ ᶜᵒᵐᵖˡᵉᵗᵉ ᶠⁱᶜᵗⁱᵒⁿ ᵃⁿᵈ ⁱᵈᵉᵃ'ˢ ᴴʸᵈʳᵃᵏⁱⁿᶻ, ᴴᵃˢ ᶜᵒˡˡᵉᶜᵗᵉᵈ ᵒᵛᵉʳ ᵗʰᵉ ᵖˡᵒᵗ ᵒᶠ ʰᵉʳ ᶠᵃᵛᵒʳⁱᵗᵉ ᶠᵃⁿᵈᵒᵐ ᵒᶠ ᵃˡˡ ᵗⁱᵐᵉ, ᵀᴹᴺᵀ
> 
> Book Two Out Now! 
> 
> This Story Contains #Turtlecest. 
> 
> ໓໐ຖ't likē, ໓໐ຖ't rēค໓.
> 
> After Raphael and Leonardo think that their brothers are dead from a warehouse explosion, they mourn the deaths of what remained, including the lie and betrayal of their father faking his own death to keep them safe. Raph and Leo try to move on, but more than twenty surprises hit them in the face like a ton of bricks when Donnie and Mike return to the lair after a fight for adventure. Feelings begin to bloom over the loss. And drama forms and rains over their heads like a storm.
> 
> Falling In Love With Your Own Sibling Was Never going to be easy-- but getting them to love you back was a challenge-- Only in reality-- they all loved each other just as equal. 
> 
> Read ᵂʰᵃᵗ ᴵˢ Yᵒᵘʳ ᴾᵒⁱˢᵒⁿ to find out what unfolds right before their eyes, and to be there every step of the way as these four brothers discover what true love and sacrifice truly means to have exactly what you want.

ᵂʰᵃᵗ ᴵˢ ʸᵒᵘʳ ᴾᵒⁱˢᵒⁿ  
ᶜʰᵃᵖᵗᵉʳ ⱽ

ᴬ ᶠⁱʳᵉ ᵀʰᵃᵗ ᵂⁱˡˡ ᴺᵉᵛᵉʳ ᴮᵘʳⁿ ᴼᵘᵗ

[ Raphael ]

The only thing I could see as I ran, was Mikey's face.

How It dropped when I let go and backed away from him. He saw the pain in my eyes, he saw how I reacted and I was such an idiot to let him see me that way and how I gave in to the urge I had been having since I thought he was dead.

I thought I didn't have a chance anymore Like, all hope was lost.

I ran and I kept running. I didn't stop until I reached the Flatiron Building north of the sewers. I finally took a minute to breathe and sat on the edge of the rooftop, looking out over the city and wanting to curse at its view.

"What was I thinkin'?" I grumbled, smacking myself in the head, then a second time, growling under my breath at the sting that sat at my cheek now.

"What? Where are you going?"

Those words were repeating in my head like an endless broken record. I couldn't look at Mikey like that- It only made things worse. I refused to see the confusion in his eyes, him being so young and naive.

He was so innocent and I couldn't believe I done something so stupid, and now, now there wasn't a clue in the world to know if he'd run to fearless, n' tell him.

Though;

Mikey was a pretty private person on the other hand. He was probably the most private out of all of us and It sort of irritated me.

I always wondered what that little shit was up to, and never did I get my answers unless I forced my way into his business. I loved makin' him mad and pushing him to the limits of where he'd actually try and fight me, or even shout.

And Tonight; it was somethin' like that. It was like some miracle for me getting what I wanted for once. But it was pretty messed up of me to try and piss someone off so they'd fight me. It's all I ever wanted was a good brawl. And tonight that was something I needed after what occurred down in the lair.

I stared down from the building at the streets and the passing cars, heading home from late-night shifts. Since the end of The Shredder, and Krang There hasn't been as much trouble lurking in the shadows. I was a little disappointed that it was all over and I couldn't kick someone's tail for being a dick or to set evil upon my city or family- The fight is what I craved.

And sometimes, sometimes I'd just wish Leo and I could have at it one on one. The guy would put up a good fight. Especially Donnie.

I shook my head, letting out another low growl, tempting to hit myself again, knowing how fucked up it was for me to even think of bashing my own brother's heads into the ground.

I knew I had issues or problems that other people didn't have.

Anger and emotions, that's all I ever felt. But those bone heads always think I don't. Like I feel nothin' and I'm an even bigger mutant than all three of em' combined.

I was fed up with Leo's mouth, and I still couldn't believe he even considered not looking for what flesh n' blood we had left in this world. He was lucky Mikey showed up when he did or else he'd of walked away with a bloody nose.

Seeing Donnie brought life back to my heart, but when I saw Mikey standin' there in the pipeline, it awakened something inside me. I knew he was okay- Alive and Well, most importantly he was Safe.

He mentioned how his ribs hurt a bit and It brought curiosity to my brain, and I wanted to ask questions now and then as Donnie was checkin' him out for any further injury- But I was frozen. I saw him, and something just happened. I couldn't make myself talk, I was screaming inside my head and I probably looked like an idiot standing there, starin' at my little brother like some cheerleader drooling over a quarterback at a football game.

I chuckled at the thought and felt the wind ripple through my body and I leaned back on both hands, feeling my muscles stretch.

How was I going to manage this? Or even figure it out- I was a reptile for fuck's sake. Was I meant to feel like this? For my own, brother?

My youngest one to beat it all.

I loved my family but when it came to Mikey- There was something so energizing about him.

"God," I said, resting my head in my hands, cage-fighting with my mind.

Seeing him put a smile on my face, and those eyes, it was like an inner animal instinct to pounce on him.

Tonight I broke, and It was probably my worst mistake ever than almost killing him.

He was getting so aggressive with me, he was standing up for himself and when he tried, it was cute. It was adorable to see him tryin' that hard to scare me. Who could be scared of Mikey? Who could possibly stay mad at him?

When I took his mask, the plea in his eyes made me almost give in straight away and I had to force myself to be strict with him, like some Father figure.

That was one thing that really turned me on the most about Mikey and that was because he was so whiney and childlike. It sounded really bad when I put it like that- but, what was I meant to do? I couldn't just ignore what my body is tellin' me to do, and I sure as hell can't when the guy I keep thinkin' about is runnin' around smilin' and laughin' like a doofus.

As the child, I knew him to be, he was what my body wanted, he was what my heart kept telling me to tackle.

"Raphie,"

The word repeated in my head on a loop, and I couldn't help but blush at the sound of it. I always hated being called that stupid fucking name, but when Mikey let it roll off his tongue, it was something different to me.

It lit a fire deep within my chest that was completely unexplainable and tonight was the night I let everything finally escape. I also fucked everything up; How was I meant to go home? What was I meant to do?

Fuck. Why was I so scared of this, such a weak softy for this goddamn emotion none of us has ever felt before? Or maybe I'm just overreacting and need to man up a little bit. Was this all really that bad, or was it so disgusting that even I couldn't bear to admit it?

I didn't know when I wanted to leave for home, and I briefly wondered if Mikey actually went out by himself to get food. I felt like a big bag of shit for leavin' him there like that. But I barely even had enough time to get outta there, let alone explain to him what had just happened.

Mikey was like the runt out of us all, and I know I hurt him, and it gnawed at me as I sat up there for what seemed like hours.

I awaited the perfect time to go back and I debated on whether it would be fine to go back around daylight so I could skip out on encountering any dirty looks or fights. I didn't wanna see him, I didn't wanna see his face again. I couldn't.

I jumped to my feet and slid down the side of the building and jumped over to the next one over, the wind was cutting me into again and the chill was electrifying and it felt great. I kept going while jumping over every obstacle I could get my sights on.

I thought about callin' Casey up for a run or two, but then I remembered where the fool was. He too was caught up in his own mess, and by mess, I mean Love. He was in love, and all that mushy crap made me sick. Especially when I saw him and April kissin' and that always made me throw up in my mouth.

I had seen movies after movies and most romantic crap ends all the same. But then again, sometime around the end, I always wondered what it'd be like to just-

"No!" I shouted, landing hard on my feet and falling to my knees. A moment afterward, I heard someone shouting at a neighbor below to keep it down, and an argument begun between the two. A man and a woman bickering about who was louder and who made the most noise.

I chuckled at the conversation and grinned, Dropping down on the stairs connecting with the apartment complex. "Why don't chu two just kiss already?" I grinned and heard the woman gasp, sounding like she didn't expect anyone else to be listening and the man shouted in defense.

Whoever this guy was, sounded like a real pain in the shell.

"Hah, In her dreams, pal!" he said, with the sound of a door slamming shut.

"Oh, Please, Keep it down or I'm calling the police!" the female went on and I rolled my eyes with a grin remaining on my face. I jumped up than down once then twice, making the whole staircase start creaking and squeaking with a loud outcome.

I was annoying two people at once and this was the second greatest part about my night.

"You too, buddy!" I heard the crow call again, and I just laughed and made a jump for it, but I guess the bolts in the stairs gave all it had with the weight of myself and what was left of it and came crashing down with a loud screech.

I landed at the very bottom, in between the apartment building and another where the alleyway met up with the street.

I groaned and let my head fall back with a thud, Wincing at the pain now in my back and side. "Pretty rough fall," I chuckled with a breath and gathered myself off the ground. "Nothin' I can't handle though," I brushed myself off and wiped my nose with my hand while looking in between the two buildings and noticing a neon sign for some Chinese food place.

"What about the food?" Mikey's voice echoed in my mind, my brain reminding me of his confused and complexed face. Eyes so blue that not even the sky above could compete with them.

I gritted my teeth in response and forced a scream out of my lungs that probably ricocheted off of every building in a block's distance. Afterward, I didn't stick around long enough to wait out whoever decided to check whatever and whoever just admitted a scream like that. I started running again, the ache in my chest was forming and I wanted to rip it out and stomp on it as I would to Mikey right about now.

But I had to remember, none of this was His Fault.

I kept going a few more blocks until every inch of my muscles burned, and I huffed for air. I was all over the place. I didn't know where to go, what to do, and by now, I figured it was probably around two in the morning and as to my surprise, nobody had bothered phoning me.

That's because Nobody cared about Raph. He could handle himself. Just like Mikey thinks he can, but he can't. He's just a weak little kid who can't even stand up to his own brother.

He was a weak little kid, who I couldn't stop for even a minute without thinking about.

I shook my head, and continued on, making my way back to the lair where it all begun and headed straight for the southward tunnels again. I wondered if Mikey was still there, waiting for me.

He wouldn't. Nobody waits up for you, Raphael. So just stop, nobody gives a shit about you, and this was all one big messed up fuckin' dream you can't seem to escape from.

I growled at the inner demons in my mind, knowing that soon they would take over like they always had done. When I kissed Mikey- They didn't exist. I couldn't hear them anymore, and they couldn't control me anymore. My head was as clear as a bell, and I remembered one of the main keys in Jitsu was to always concentrate and keep focus.

It was an outlawed rule to keep a leveled head in that shit.

I hadn't realized how different I felt when I knew he was Safe. The pain in my chest was indescribable when Leo told me he didn't come out of the fire, Of the explosions.

It was like someone stealing a piece of me, or in my own words, it'd be a whole of me. But here I am battling with myself. Battling on whether it was a mistake or not.

I kissed him. I held him there, my hands on his body and his on mine. Those delicate fingers and that tongue on me, in my mouth, exploring and savoring the taste.

God, would you stop already- That shit for brains would never even know what to do with what you've got goin' on. And kissing him wasn't even scraping the surface, Raphie-Boy

"Shut the fuck up, you don't know nothin' about him!" I shouted into the thin air as the snow prickles onto my skin. I grit my teeth again, almost hard enough to break the toothpick that was placed in between my lips.

Oh, we know enough. We know that he's way outta your league, I mean C'mon, Raphael. It's your little brother. Who'd wanna do that, oh right, You, a disgusting freak.

I reached the tunnels and knew I had to tune it down a notch. I had to completely switch up the pace on my mood or else someone was going to come rushing into me with one question after another. I didn't need Donnie on my case about being out so late, or even Leo wondering about what I did or had done while I was out there.

They still live by Splinters rules and protection. It was kinda stupid, and always had me rolling my eyes at my siblings because, Why? We were grown enough now to know what not and what to do with ourselves, and day to day fuckin' life. I wasn't stupid.

Leo treated me like a kid half the time- like I was gonna run out and get so angry and end up killin' somebody- The fuckin' nerve the guy had made me wanna rip his throat out.

I climbed into the entrance and quieted my steps, creeping along the wall to catch any sound coming from the lair, and from the way it appeared, nothing was happening- Yet.

I carefully jumped down once I reached access and found that nobody was in the main room, or in the kitchen.

Thank Fuck.

I crossed over the sitting area where the TV sat and made my getaway for the staircase, leading up to where I slept.

"Where have you been?"

I stopped and turned on my heel to see Leo, Planted in a recliner, hidden away from any light source. I lowered my head and cursed silently to know I was officially caught.

"Out," I answered, lowering my foot from the first step leading upwards.

"Out?" asked Leo, standing up from the chair and coming into the light, "Out where, Raph?"

"I had to clear my head, Alright?"

He nodded, looking everywhere but in my direction. "Mikey said that too, but what were you really doin' out there?"

I scoffed, "God, Leo, I'm almost twenty-four years old, You can't possibly expect me to stay in by curfew anymore" my fists were clenched as I attempted to keep my temper at a minimum.

Leo gave another nod and took a step forward, now a couple of inches before me. "Mikey also told me you baled on him, said that he'd have to go and get food himself"

My eyes didn't leave Leo's. I felt a lump in my throat form, as fear struck my inner core, wondering if that's all Leo really knew and how badly I was gonna hear it for staying out so late.

"Was uh, was that all he told you?" I questioned, knowing then that Leo noticed the fear in my eyes.

"Yeah, why?" he asked, uncrossing his arms away from his chest.

"Was just wonderin' can I fuckin' go now?" I said, becoming impatient. I didn't wanna risk seeing Mikey again. I felt slightly better knowing that Mikey didn't say anything to the rest of our brothers about what had happened in the tunnels.

Leo gave me a smug expression and shook his head. "You still haven't told me what you were doin' out there,"

I glanced at the ceiling- my feet getting a little jittery "I already told ya, Leo!" I said, not realizing how loud I was getting "I had to clear my head, I jumped a few buildings and maybe ruined some stairs, I fell, and came straight home" I explained, gritting my teeth again.

Leo raised an eye ridge at me, collecting the emotions in my face, to see if I was lyin' or not. "That all?"

I growled and threw my hands into the air. "Yes! What the fuck is it even to you, Huh?" I shouted while I watched Leo's face growing irritated, and he glared at me, acting as if I'd bow down to him or some shit.

"What is it to me? What the fuck did I tell you earlier, Raph? I told you, we had just lost then gotten back our two youngest brothers, and I didn't need you wandering off, blowing off steam and causing trouble! But what did you do? You did exactly what you always do, and that's not listening to me, You never listened to me, You didn't even listen to da-"

Before I could stop myself, I was swinging at Leo's face and nailed him right in the nose. Which caused him to stumble back from the blow he just took. He straightened himself up a moment later and wiped beneath his nose with the back of his hand, blood staining his emerald-green skin.

I was raging mad now, and there was no stopping this time, This was it. This was the fight I had been waiting for and needing for the last ten years. I took a step forward and watched as Leo's eyes lit up when he saw the blood on his hand, and he sniffled, sucking it all back up inside of his nostrils. He narrowed his eyes at me and glared again. Giving me a devil-like grin.

Come at me, motherfucker.

The ringing in my ears got louder as I went to give my second eldest brother another blow to the face, but I stopped when I heard a familiar whimper with a gasp in protest.

"Raphie?"

I tilted my head and saw, standing at the top of the staircase, blanket in hand, Mikey looking all sleepy like he had just woken up, which was probably the case due to my notorious shouting.

I felt every inch of anger subside inside of me. Like the wind blowing away fall leaves.

"Everything Is fine here, Michelangelo," Leo confronted, not taking his eyes off me, "Go back to bed"

"But you guys, You guys are fighting again," he said, looking at me again, and I felt my heart stop, seeing the worry in his eyes.

"Yeah, like always. Raph was just tellin' me about his late-night adventure," Leo explained, finally breaking the eye contact from me to look up at Mikey to give him a small smile, "Weren't you, Raph?"

All I could do was nod my head and mutter a simple, "Yeah,"

"Now would be the perfect time for us all to go to bed, it is four in the morning almost, and I'd rather be rested up then deal with how grumpy Donnie is gonna be if he gets woken up in the middle of the night," Leo said with a small laugh, completely ignoring the blood trickling down from his nose until he wiped it off again, "Goodnight, Raph" he said with hasty tone.

I didn't bother responding to him as I watched him leave me alone with the turtle standing at the top of the staircase, with a power rangers blanket wrapped around him.

He always loved that thing- He's nineteen years old and continues to carry it around like some baby with a teddy bear.

God, He was adorable.

Mikey stood there, not letting the awkward silence defeat him. I then moved up the staircase, taking my time and once I made it to the top, he gave me a weird look, like me being this close made him uncomfortable.

"Why?" he questioned, Giving me the word I had been avoiding all damn night.

I didn't know how to respond, or even what to do as I stared down at the younger turtle. His blue eyes piercing right through me, and to the deepest parts of where I wanted him most.

I wanted to take him right here, right now. He looked perfect.

"Why?" I repeated, giving him a questioning expression, Pretending like I didn't know what he was talking about.

He looked down at his feet, and then slowly up my body to reach my face, "Why did you leave me back there, dude? You know what I'm talking about"

Fuck.

"I just um, I just needed air, needed to clear my head, As I told, Leo," I said, clearing my throat, "I'll see ya in the morning" I turned and went for my own room, which was far at the end.

"Clear your head?" I heard Mikey scoff, "More like you wanting to run away from what you started,"

I stopped and looked back at him, feeling that lump return in my throat, "What I started?" I mumbled in reply and saw his face change and he shook his head.

"You know what, Never mind," He said dryly and headed back towards his own room, but I caught him by the arm and in response, Mikey tried to shove me off, "No, Not again," he gasped, Placing his hand flat on my chest, and pushed hard, but not hard enough.

"What I started huh, You mean what I'm going to finish?" I said in a hushed tone, my dominance rushing through my veins as Mikey quickly met my eyes and tried to shove me off once more.

"Raphie, Please," he pleaded, fingers digging into my skin, and my body ached for more, for him to scratch and bruise what he could reach.

I cupped the back of his head and crushed my lips against his, forcing myself on him. I was hungry- desperately hungry for his kiss, for his body and the taste of his tongue again. I had to have it once more. This was the never-ending loop I actually wanted and needed.

"Mmf, Ra-" was all I heard, as my eyes were shut tightly and pressing hard against the turtle I knew and loved my whole life. And that was it.

That was the truth.

I shoved Mikey against the wall and he continued to fight at me, but not avoiding my mouth. His taste, his scent, it was beyond intoxicating- and everything went blank the moment my hands landed on him.

"Need you so badly-" I huffed, resting my forehead against his own, and he didn't say anything but just look at me.

Those baby blues rested at my soul, and I couldn't help but smile. He looked so innocent, so confused and so dumbfounded that even an explanation couldn't be any clearer for him.

"Raphael?" was said from behind me, and I stopped, landing myself right back to reality and not even thinking of the possibilities of being seen.

"D-Donnie?" Mikey muttered out, his eyes on the turtle over my shoulder.

ᵀᵒ ᴮᵉ Cᵒⁿᵗⁱⁿᵘᵉᵈ


	7. Fᵒʳ ᵂʰᵒᵐ ᵀʰᵉ ᴮᵉˡˡ ᵀᵒˡᵈ

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> " ᵂʰᵃᵗ ᴵˢ Yᵒᵘʳ ᴾᵒⁱˢᵒⁿ "   
ᴵˢ ᵇᵃˢᵉᵈ ᵘᵖᵒⁿ ᶜᵒᵐᵖˡᵉᵗᵉ ᶠⁱᶜᵗⁱᵒⁿ ᵃⁿᵈ ⁱᵈᵉᵃ'ˢ ᴴʸᵈʳᵃᵏⁱⁿᶻ, ᴴᵃˢ ᶜᵒˡˡᵉᶜᵗᵉᵈ ᵒᵛᵉʳ ᵗʰᵉ ᵖˡᵒᵗ ᵒᶠ ʰᵉʳ ᶠᵃᵛᵒʳⁱᵗᵉ ᶠᵃⁿᵈᵒᵐ ᵒᶠ ᵃˡˡ ᵗⁱᵐᵉ, ᵀᴹᴺᵀ
> 
> Book Two Out Now! 
> 
> This Story Contains #Turtlecest. 
> 
> ໓໐ຖ't likē, ໓໐ຖ't rēค໓.
> 
> After Raphael and Leonardo think that their brothers are dead from a warehouse explosion, they mourn the deaths of what remained, including the lie and betrayal of their father faking his own death to keep them safe. Raph and Leo try to move on, but more than twenty surprises hit them in the face like a ton of bricks when Donnie and Mike return to the lair after a fight for adventure. Feelings begin to bloom over the loss. And drama forms and rains over their heads like a storm.
> 
> Falling In Love With Your Own Sibling Was Never going to be easy-- but getting them to love you back was a challenge-- Only in reality-- they all loved each other just as equal. 
> 
> Read ᵂʰᵃᵗ ᴵˢ Yᵒᵘʳ ᴾᵒⁱˢᵒⁿ to find out what unfolds right before their eyes, and to be there every step of the way as these four brothers discover what true love and sacrifice truly means to have exactly what you want.

ᵂʰᵃᵗ ᴵˢ ʸᵒᵘʳ ᴾᵒⁱˢᵒⁿ  
ᶜʰᵃᵖᵗᵉʳ ⱽᴵ

Fᵒʳ ᵂʰᵒᵐ ᵀʰᵉ ᴮᵉˡˡ ᵀᵒˡᵈ

[ Donatello ]

Four Days Later. . .

"Don?" 

I blinked, letting a breath of air escape my lips. I checked to my right and saw Leo. He was there at my side giving me a puzzled expression. 

"Donnie, You alright?" he said, Forcing me out of thought. 

I blinked once more, but repetitively as I realized my surroundings again as the wind ingulfed my eardrums. 

"Oh, Um" I tilted my head up, seeing the stars above me, "Yeah, sorry- Haven't gotten much sleep here lately"

I noticed Leo eyeing me as I watched the sky and he crossed his arms over one another, "Why not? Are you havin' nightmares again?" he questioned casually- knowing I'll give him a direct answer, which was something that Leo admired about me. I was always Honest. 

I shook my head, knowing I was going to have to lie to my leader, and pulling a lie on Leo wasn't exactly easy- Especially since he was so particularly observant. I hated doing this, I knew it was wrong but what I saw four days ago, wasn't easy to forget. 

"I've just been up, catching up on my reading is all," Leo continued to eye me, and I looked directly at him as I spoke, to throw off any suspicion, "I haven't been able to read much with all the things I've been doing around the lair, Leo"

He lowered his eyes and took a quick look out at the city again, and shrugged his shoulders, "Yeah, I'm real' sorry about all the work I've been makin' you do here lately- I just wanted to make sure nothing else would happen to the lair, since well, You know"

I gave pity in Leo, as my hand rested at my hip, and the other fixing my glasses, "I don't really mind it, Leo," I said with a soft voice, slightly flushed at his caring tone, "Gives me more to do, and in fact, I have a plan for a new security system I know that you'll really like," I chirped, beaming from ear to ear. 

I watched a smile form on his lips, and he gave me a proud nod and patted me on the shoulder, "Good work, I can't wait to see it. Maybe we can see some Foot Ninja's get electrocuted" Leo chuckled, lips stretching a bright toothy smile which made my stomach flutter in response. 

I just lied to Leo, and it hurt. But seeing him smile was something I'd do anything to see. Maybe even kill for it.

"Leo, do you ever think about what it'd be like to get away from here?" I asked out of nowhere, reminding myself of the dream I recently had, and my flush deepened, knowing Leo would probably notice, I looked away from him, waiting for his answer as I fiddled with the tip of my Bo staff that sat neatly across my lap as my legs dangled off the edge of the building overlooking the city. 

I heard him hum something and he shuffled and sat down next to me, and things only got more difficult for me. I could handle Leonardo being within a few feet from me, but right next to me was overbearing for me to acquire. I squirmed a little in my position and waited with what patience I had left. 

"Well, I've thought about it before. Even dreamt about it- but uh, we can't really do that. And risk being seen outside of New York City" he said with a hint of disappointment in his voice. 

Dreamt?

For a moment, I wondered if Leo saw the same things as I have in my dreams. It was impossible, but I still had my reasons to think so on a mental level. 

I still thought about that dream, day and night. Especially since the day Mikey came home. It wasn't long until things went back to normal in our messed up life. Or should I put it as, strange life?

After everything that has happened in the past three years, I came to question was anything really impossible anymore? It was possible of what I saw. 

What I saw and what I heard from my older brother, telling me to keep my mouth shut and for Mikey to look at me like he saw a Ghost or most importantly- Like he was scared right out of his shell.

I saw the Greed in his eyes when Raphael disappeared from sight. He never came out of his room again and Mikey never bothered to follow him. There was something strange going on between them. 

Though; I knew what it was. It was just a little hard to admit under such strict circumstances.

I didn't bother questioning what I saw, I didn't even ask what happened and what led to such action. I knew what went on, even if nobody told me what went on. I saw it, felt it and even smelt the tension in the air between the two turtles. I just needed one of them to tell me. 

I wanted to know if I actually was the only one.

Though; Michelangelo didn't have a clue in the world why it was happening or why he was feeling these things he was about to encounter. 

When I mentioned it to him, I knew by instinct that it was a mistake by itself. It wasn't my job to prepare Mikey for further, future emotions like these ones. I felt mine a long time ago. It was unnatural for me at such a young age. It was and felt normal all at the same time. 

"Do you think our order is done?" Leo mentioned, breaking me from my thoughts again. I was surprised he wasn't questioning me on further details about why I was so unnaturally quiet. I normally had my very few rambles about tech drones and whatnot, but then again- I just assumed that Leo must have had problems of his own. 

I glanced down at my watch, checking the time as it displays itself in a bright neon purple color. It was a quarter past nine and I nodded my head, twisting the gear at my watch and it makes a click sound, letting me know that our food was ready below. 

"Yeah, should be a couple more minutes before the drop off though," I said, watching Leo stand up and ready his hand at grabbing a blade from his back, and there he pulled out his left Katana and ran his finger along the edge, but not close enough to cut him. I admired his movements, he was so accurate and so well skilled. It may have been with practice, but to me, Leo always learned fast. And he was closest with Sensai out of us all. So, even then he was learning more than we ever were. 

"So," He said, looking down at me as he leaned on the wall, still fiddling with his blade. I felt an awkward aura rise deep in my gut and I was beginning to feel that familiar flush in my cheeks return. 

God, why does he do these things to me? Come to think of it, all of my brothers have had this sort of effect on me. But it was never as bad unless I was around Leonardo. I've done so much research on these types of mental state, and they all lead down a long line of affection, love, and heartache. 

"So?" I repeated, not meeting his eyes. 

"So, why'd you ask me that? You know about-"

"Leaving New York?" I interrupted and shrugged. 

"Yeah, Do you not like it here?" he questioned, halting his movements with his blade. 

I shook my head, "It's not that- It's just- Well, Sometimes I wish we could go on vacation, or see different sights, or maybe lie our heads in a proper bed-" I sighed, "A clean one" I added. 

I could feel Leo's eyes on me, knowing this, they were burning in the back of my head, causing my cheeks to flame deeper and It only made me wanna run and hide, including the swarm of butterflies in my stomach. "Well," he started, "I'll tell you what, whenever I'm ready- and I mean, soon, We can go to Japan," 

My eyes lit up and I actually faced Leo this time, and he saw the surprisement in my expression and gave me that sweet smile I always knew and loved seeing so much. "You're serious?" I questioned with a grin displaying on my face. 

He nodded his head, "We can make a visit to The Ancient One, and maybe see about the sights, I have always wanted to go, especially after all the stories, Dad told us"

Japan. 

We were going to Japan. 

"What about Raph and Mikey?" I asked, while the images of Raph holding Mikey firmly against the brick walls of our lair, kissing him and fondling him right there in front of me, flash through my mind. 

"I'm not sure how keen Raphael will be on traveling- Especially since the plane incident" He chuckles, balancing his hand on the handle of his blade as it's planted to the concrete. 

"I-I'm sure he will oblige. He won't wanna be left there alone," I said, trying to smile while ignoring the imagery in my mind. 

"We'll have to discuss further detail about it, especially once we're able to get our hands on a real plane, now C'mon let's get going before it's too late," Leo said giving me a wink and making me feel like my heart just leaped into my throat. I watched as he stood up straight and performed a backflip off the edge of the building and fell down, catching on the side of the wall to make sure he didn't fall too fast. 

I followed suit and went a lot quicker than him while making it to the bottom of the building before he did. I stretched with a smile and gave Leo a small bow, letting him know how much I'm sucking up my arrival. "I win," I cheered, making my way to the next building over and landing in the back where our drop off would be. 

Leo caught up soon enough and looked a little bummed, "You win this time all due to luck,"

I laughed and nudged him as we jumped over the fence line for Potonia's Pizzeria, and sure enough, our order was there with a sticky-note attached to the top box. 

"Luck my shell, You've had your head in the clouds, all Night!" I teased, reaching the boxes, and yanked the note off and eyed it. 

"Uh-huh, keep talking Donnie," He nudged, making me giggle again, "What did Patrica say?" he asked, picking up the three Pizza boxes that sat neatly on top of one another. 

I wiggled the note, the edge flapping in my fingers from the wind, "She just mentioned that these were on the house and to always call again if we need anything else," I answered, turning back for the fences. 

I and Leo continued our journey back to the sewers, while he said, "She's been pretty damn friendly since we saved her cat from that giant dog thing" 

I smirked a little, "It was a mole-rat, Leonardo," 

He shrugged, Gripping the boxes in his hands, "Whatever," and I laughed for the millionth time tonight. I got so giddy around him. He always managed to put a smile to my face even with our continuous grief that surfaced every inch of thin air it could get it's slimy hands on. 

It seemed like since Sensai passed away- Things were much quieter. Even Mikey was particularly silent and He was the one we kept an eye on the most. When Mikey got down, he got down. We figured it was just a first-timer Depression sort of thing and we didn't bother him as much. He didn't even shed a tear about Splinter until two days later.

Once me and Leo made it back to the lair, we were greeted by the same strange silence as usual and sat up in the kitchen with the quietness of our own. 

"I'm surprised Mikey isn't down here Already- He knew we were getting Pizza," I said, placing an orange-colored plate on the table far to the right where Mikey always sat. 

"Maybe he's asleep, He naps on random occasions that lazy fool does. You wanna go and get him?" Leo questioned taking over plate duty and placing his own where he sat when it was dinner time.

Just then a loud thud rumbled through the kitchen and Raph appeared in the doorway- Looking tired, but alive enough. I couldn't look at him without seeing what had happened and knew it. He saw me and gave me a bit of a glare and sat the table, resting his elbows at the edge. 

"Where's Michelangelo, Raph?" Leo asked, taking the words from my mouth. 

Raph gave a light shrug and rose his head, Gesturing towards the top floor. "He's been in his room for most the day- The only time I saw him come out was when he wanted a drink" 

I watched Raphael as he spoke to Leo, not knowing whether to believe him or not. I had hope Raph wasn't pushing himself on Mikey too much. I had hoped he'd take whatever is going on slow, or else Mikey was going to get hurt. 

"Well, have you checked on him?" Leo asked, Placing a red-colored plate in front of Raph on the placematt.

Raph gave Leo a bigger shrug this time, "Nah, As I said, He's been up there in his room," Raph said, voice rocky and with a small gruff grin, "Probably up there, Playin' with himself" 

I flushed and saw Leo roll his eyes, "Can you go and get him?" 

Raph grunted and curled his left fist that was resting on the surface of the wooden table, "Can't ya just yell for the idiot?"

"He's not an idiot, Raphael" I spoke up, causing Leo to look in my direction, "He's not, the only idiot is you, with your attitude here lately!" 

I stalked away from the kitchen and huffed when I got to the stairs and went straight for Mikey's room. I made it to his door that was covered in Posters that involved your typical Universes for Superheros, Villains or Mikey's silly video games. 

I couldn't say too much about his hobbies, because it was I too who admired the world of First-Person shooters

I raised my hand to knock on the door, and a noise made from the other side stopped me from connecting my middle knuckle to the hard surface. 

Another sound was heard, and it appeared to be a whimper. 

Then another. 

Was Mikey Crying?

"Mmf, Ra-phie," Mikey's quiet voice, churred through the wall, and I held my hand at the door, frozen, and hovering there, ready to knock any second now, but I didn't move, making sure what I thought I just heard, was exactly what I heard. 

"Probably up there, Playin' with himself" Raph's voice spun in my head, and it caused my mouth to go dry due to the fact of him, Possibly being right in this situation, which was rarely ever. 

I heard another whimper from the other side, along with more small gasps of churring- 

Wow. Was the only word I could come up with at that very moment. I couldn't even analyze the fact of my little brother doing what he was doing behind this door. I didn't even know he knew how to, but thinking of it now- Who didn't know how? Especially those who had access to the internet. 

Me, being one of those, People. 

For a brief moment- I wondered if Leo did.

I was interrupted when the door in front of me swung open and Mikey bumped right into me, which caused us both to squeak in surprise. I didn't know how long I was standing there, but it must have not been very long since Mikey finished so quickly- 

"Oh," Mikey laughed playfully giving me a light pat on the chest, "D, You nearly scared the shell off me, dude"

I had to swallow to regain some sort of taste in my mouth, then my lips lightly parted at Mikey's playfully welcoming smile displayed before me.

He was sort of adorable, wasn't he?

"Uh, what? Oh, Yeah, um, I came up to see if you wanted any-"

"Pizza!" he shrieked, Pushing passed me to hop over the railing to get to the bottom floor, and soon I was left alone again. Left with all these damn thoughts I couldn't flabbergast yet. 

"C'mon, Donnie, Leo won't let us eat unless we are all there! He's too scared I'll eat everything before anyone else get's a chance," he calls, and I hear him giggle, and disappear to the next room.

I don't bother answering back as I head back down to the kitchen, where everyone sat in a silent circle around the dining table. I took my seat and awaited Leo to serve us our food like he always had done. The tension on Raph's face was unbearable. He was clearly in some sort of pain when Mikey was around him. He couldn't even look at him from what I saw. 

Mikey was practically bouncing in his seat when he was the first to receive a plate full of Italian Goodness, I was second and Raph got his last, and soon we were all seated and eating in pure joy-

"So, I wanted to talk with you guys about something-" Leo said, finishing off a bite from his slice. 

The sudden conversation got Raph's attention, but Mikey didn't bother stopping with his meal. 

I was picking at my food at this point, I wanted to eat. I did. But thinking about it now, there were too many secrets spreading around. And tonight, once Leo went to sleep, I was going to find some answers. One way or another. 

"Since I and Donnie have already discussed it- I was wondering what you guys thought about going to Japan," 

"Japan?" Raph repeated with smugness in his voice, though surprised, "Go to Japan?"

Leo nodded and continued with his meal, chewing collectively and calmly "What about you Mikey? What do you think?" 

Mikey dug into his food like a wild animal, and by now he had tomato sauce smeared all over his face as a toddler would with chocolate. In pre-chew, he looked up when he noticed everyone but Raph was staring at him, awaiting his answer. 

He looked around, nervously "Wait, what?" he said with a mouth full, and it caused Raph to laugh a small bit. 

I heard Leo sigh, and Raph continued, finally looking in Mikey's direction, "Clean your face, numbnuts" 

Mikey blushed and what seemed to be more surprised that Raph just spoke to him. I handed over a napkin to Mikey and he gave me a silent Thank you with a thumbs-up gesture. And I nodded with a smile. 

"So, what do you guys think?" Leo asked, "In a couple of weeks, we could make the plans, Get our own plane, and prepare for-" 

"You mean we don't gotta ride shotgun in the baggage area where they keep all the cute little animals?" Mikey butted in, dropping his pizza on his plate. 

"Hold up," Raph held up his hand to silence our younger sibling "Why are we going to Japan?"

"Vacation," I shrugged with a sly smile, and Raph's expression became squeamish, my guessing was the thought of traveling someplace far didn't settle well with him. 

"I uh, I don't wanna go," he said, finishing what was left of his food and pushed it away as the plate scrapped lightly on the table. 

"Raphael, You aren't staying here in the lair, by yourself" Leo insisted.

Raph scoffed and threw a hand up in the air, "And why the fuck not?"

"Because," Leo said, lifting his and Raph's plate off of the table and carrying them over to the sink, "This is supposed to be a family vacation, not some mission, objective like usually. Stress-free, You know?" 

All three of us were listening- at least I think, minus Mikey and I eyed my own plate, finally taking a couple of bites of pizza and putting it back down, as a burp escapes my throat. 

"Nicely done, Don," Mikey beams with a large smile on his face, and I rolled my eyes with a returning smile of my own. 

"So, what do you think?" Leo asks again, trying to get everyone's attention at the exact same time for once. 

Mikey nodded his head enthusiastically and took another bite of what was his fifth slice of pepperoni, "Sounds great to me, especially if we're eating Japanese Cuisine every single night!"

"When since were we a family since Splinter died?" Raph exclaimed, Glaring at Leo. 

The mentioning of dad again only stabbed sharply at my heart. It tugged on the strings there, and I felt a little rational about his words, maybe irritated. "Leave it to Raph to ruin Saturday's dinner," I said, out loud and quite bluntly.

Raphael turned his head in my direction and locked his jaw, "What was that Don?" he asked, standing from the table, which caused me to go a little weak in the knees. I hated pissing Raph off. He was such a violent person, and nobody knew what angered him so much, he never talked to anybody and soon we just assumed he wanted to be left alone. 

"Raph," Leo warned.

"Shut up, Leo!" Raph said, and I stood up, shaking my head. I noticed Mikey sinking lower in his chair, obviously at a loss for his appetite.

"You always do this," I huff, holding a finger to my forehead, "You always gotta bring Sensei into things. He's dead, he's gone, Raphael!" I shout suddenly as his eyes go wide, and something about the way I spoke caused Mikey to get a little pale, "He's gone, so how's about each and every one of you, let him rest!" I say storming out of the kitchen, Going straight for my lab and sliding the door open, then slamming it shut. 

I made a mental reminder to put a lock on the door as I slide down the surface and rested my head in my hands, feeling tears prick at the corner of my eyes and a large knot form in my throat. 

"No, No crying," I said with a shaky sigh of breath, a few droplets staining my cheeks, "No crying Donatello, You're better than this!" I slammed my fist on the ground, and winced at the pain I knew was coming but I didn't care, I wanted it, I wanted to feel the pain, the stinging in my heart that reminded me of the day I was told about Sensei. 

That reminded me of the last day I ever saw his smiling face. I missed that man, I missed what only Father figure I ever had, though Leo was promising- but the real thing- There was nothing like the real thing. 

I missed our chats, our hugs, his meditation sessions he'd always force us to do that Raph hated, and most importantly and weirdly enough, the way he'd scold us for not doing anything right. 

I sometimes even missed going to the Hashiree. It was a pain. But it was yet another reminder of how great of a dad, Master Splinter really was. 

I rested my head on the door, and let my hands fall into my lap and sniffled a bit. 

"I miss you, Dad," I muttered, and closed my eyes until a heard a light knock on the door behind me. 

I sighed, not really in the mood to deal with any pep talks from Leo right now, though seeing his face would just make things a little easier right now. I sat up and climbed off of my butt and fixed my glasses and wiped my nose with the back of my hand before opening the door, to find Raphael standing there, looking a little embarrassed. 

"Raph?" I said, not expecting him to come crawling to the lab after our argument, "What do you want?" 

He shook his head and glanced over his shoulder, him knowing Leo was probably listening to our conversation, or whatever you'd wanna call it, "Can I come in?" and I quizzed him silently debating on whether I should or not, but then I realized, this was my brother, my eldest brother, and this brother's name was at the mercy of my littlest one's mouth while he was doing inappropriate things in his private time. 

I moved aside, trying not to be obvious with my stupidly obnoxious blushing; and I let him in, and he walked in and passed me but didn't move many inches away from the door and he stood there awkwardly acting as if he's never been in the Lab before.

"Been a while since I've been in here," He said and looked around at how much the room has changed since the last time he was in here. As said, I wandered over to my desk and sat in the wheeled chair, and sat back. 

"So, what is it that you wanted? Hopefully not to come in here and cause a further commotion about dinner, because you know that's off-limits in here," I said fiddling with a rocketship shaped eraser that I had on a stack of paper with a couple of pencils. 

He nodded his head in an off direction and looked around again, scanning more of the room, "Yeah, D, I know," he sighed, "I just wanted to say I'm real' sorry about you know, getting all worked up over things" 

I raised an eye ridge at him and crossed my arms after putting the eraser where it was, "And?" I asked, casually taking control of the situation. 

He huffed and avoided any eye contact with me, which was a little irritating due to my lack of trust for the alpha turtle in front of me, "And, I'm sorry for ruining dinner and pushing dad on you- On all of you, I'm just- I'm going through some things, and he isn't here for me to talk about them," 

Raphael was quiet and very picky with his choice of words. It kind of warmed my heart knowing he was telling me, of all of our brothers, it was me he trusted to tell this to. I never saw in a million years that he'd apologize to Leonardo. It'd be a long shot before that. 

"You think I don't know that, Raph?" I asked, standing from the squeaky chair, "I wish I could talk to Sensei about a lot of things, but I obviously can't. It's hard, I know, but with you, I think a lot of it, has to do with what happened a couple of days ago," 

The expression on Raph's face changed and he lowered his head, maybe regretting coming into my lab, to begin with, but this was it- It was my chance. My chance to confront him about what's been going on. 

I needed answers, and not only for the sake of this family but for myself. 

"I um, I dunno what you're talking about, Donnie," he said, knowing I am not stupid. 

"Really?" I scoffed, "So, you telling me to keep my mouth shut about what I saw between you and Mikey doesn't ring any bells?" 

Raphael was getting nervous, and I could sense it. I could smell the sweat on the back of his neck, it was all here, displayed in front of me. 

The answers. 

"Don, I-" he started, but pressing his lips together in a hard-line, "Yeah, what you saw and what I said, Yeah it happened but-" 

"But what?" I shook my head, baffled, "What even was that? You better not be doing things to Mikey! He's already been through enough, Raphael" 

He looked at me, stunned, like did I really just say that? Type of look.

"What do you think I'm doing to him, Donatello?" He asked and I shook my head again, "I kissed him, we made out- Twice," He explained like it was one of the hardest things for him to ever say to someone. 

Made out?

Something was stirring in my gut and it caused a wave of warmth to rush over my body like someone just poured hot water over my head. 

"You guys, like- What did he do? Or even better, why did you do that?" I couldn't help but to question. 

"God, Donnie, I dunno!" He sighed, running a hand over the top of his head, but keeping his mask in place, "Okay? I dunno why it happened, I just- Ever since he came back- Since, I found out that he was alive, There's just somethin' about him I can't put my finger on. He makes me, soft, makes me somebody else that I never thought I'd ever be," 

"Raphael you're talking like, like you-" I couldn't say it. This was all so crazy- So messed up, but what was I saying- 

Leo meant everything to me. And I was a major hypocrite to even judge my brother like this because I too favored my sibling in a strange way- 

Love. 

Affection.

Lust.

Heartache.

"Like what?" he said, with a small laugh and a harsh smile, "Like I love the little shit?" 

I swallowed, not taking my eyes off of him, "Well, Yeah," I insisted, raising my hands in question, "But, more?" 

He looked away for a moment, "Yeah, Don, like, more, way more than more, beyond more, I love Mikey- But he doesn't know it yet. Doesn't even know what that means, and that's what draws me to him, like a moth to a flame. He's so dumb, so innocent- It makes me so hot, so warm in places, that I can't help but throw myself at him, and that's what you saw, that's what happened in the southward tunnels, and that's why I ran out that night because we got in a heated argument and he kept shoving me, like he wanted to hit me," he breathed, closing his eyes, "And I just- I couldn't stop myself," 

Jeez. 

I didn't know Raph could be so, Poetic?

Here were my answers, here was what I wanted, what I needed. The satisfaction for myself. Which made me feel sick and all so good at the same time. 

And the only thing I could say was, 

"I know how you feel" 

ᵀᵒ ᴮᵉ Cᵒⁿᵗⁱⁿᵘᵉᵈ


	8. ᴬ Smell ᴼᶠ ᴬʳᵗ

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> " ᵂʰᵃᵗ ᴵˢ Yᵒᵘʳ ᴾᵒⁱˢᵒⁿ "   
ᴵˢ ᵇᵃˢᵉᵈ ᵘᵖᵒⁿ ᶜᵒᵐᵖˡᵉᵗᵉ ᶠⁱᶜᵗⁱᵒⁿ ᵃⁿᵈ ⁱᵈᵉᵃ'ˢ ᴴʸᵈʳᵃᵏⁱⁿᶻ, ᴴᵃˢ ᶜᵒˡˡᵉᶜᵗᵉᵈ ᵒᵛᵉʳ ᵗʰᵉ ᵖˡᵒᵗ ᵒᶠ ʰᵉʳ ᶠᵃᵛᵒʳⁱᵗᵉ ᶠᵃⁿᵈᵒᵐ ᵒᶠ ᵃˡˡ ᵗⁱᵐᵉ, ᵀᴹᴺᵀ
> 
> Book Two Out Now! 
> 
> This Story Contains #Turtlecest. 
> 
> ໓໐ຖ't likē, ໓໐ຖ't rēค໓.
> 
> After Raphael and Leonardo think that their brothers are dead from a warehouse explosion, they mourn the deaths of what remained, including the lie and betrayal of their father faking his own death to keep them safe. Raph and Leo try to move on, but more than twenty surprises hit them in the face like a ton of bricks when Donnie and Mike return to the lair after a fight for adventure. Feelings begin to bloom over the loss. And drama forms and rains over their heads like a storm.
> 
> Falling In Love With Your Own Sibling Was Never going to be easy-- but getting them to love you back was a challenge-- Only in reality-- they all loved each other just as equal. 
> 
> Read ᵂʰᵃᵗ ᴵˢ Yᵒᵘʳ ᴾᵒⁱˢᵒⁿ to find out what unfolds right before their eyes, and to be there every step of the way as these four brothers discover what true love and sacrifice truly means to have exactly what you want.

ᵂʰᵃᵗ ᴵˢ ʸᵒᵘʳ ᴾᵒⁱˢᵒⁿ  
ᶜʰᵃᵖᵗᵉʳ ⱽᴵᴵ

ᴬ Smell ᴼᶠ ᴬʳᵗ

{ Small Smut Warning }

[ Michelangelo ]

Today was one of those days.

And By those, I mean, It was where you literally didn't wanna get out of bed. 

The last time I saw the clock on the table next to my bed, it probably read about ten somethin' and if it was still morning- It definitely wasn't my time to wake up. 

Though I knew it wouldn't be long until Sens- I mean, Leo, came up here to wake me up, and let me know it was time to get started with today's duties. Which were lame as shit. 

It's been an ongoing schedule for the last couple of days now, especially since, well, You know.

I didn't have the stomach to say the actual thing- I missed him too much. 

I couldn't understand why Leo wanted to continue with the routine. Maybe he wanted to honor Dad in some sort of silly way- though I couldn't complain. I missed how things used to be, and I mostly missed our Family Time. 

I rolled over in bed, holding onto my blankets. The scent of pancakes filled my nose and I knew Donnie was up, He always made the best breakfast. I couldn't miss out on eating- But I didn't wanna get up. I didn't wanna risk seeing Raph again. Since that night- Things haven't really been the same between us. 

We don't talk or play around anymore. He barely even looks at me. I wondered if he treated the others the same way- At least I knew he did, Leo. 

Donnie didn't really look at me the same either, and I continued to question whether or not if he and Raph spoke about what he saw us doing together, or- what he was doing to me. Whatever it was, whatever brought it on;

I loved it.

Even days after what happened, I found myself thinking about it more than usual. My body was doing weird things, and feeling really strange, so strange I couldn't help but touch what ached the most on my body and what longed for it. 

It longed for what started this whole mess. 

Raphael.

It was weird admitting it. It even made me a little giddy and blushy when I thought of how much I thought about him now. But my heart ached at the sight of him because I knew what he was doing- I knew that he was avoiding me. Ignoring my presence, my jokes, not hanging on every word I say and It infuriated me. And being angry was something I rarely ever was. 

I finally sat up in my cozy bed and my eyes wandered around the room, admiring all of my little nicknacks. I was curious for a moment of whether I was ever going to grow up and move passed all the geeky nonsense of my sense of humor, but then I immediately decided a quick No for that one. 

Because when I thought about it, I felt like the different one out of the bunch. Maybe the more Humane one. Donnie was, of course, smart, inventful, and the master chef. When that dude made cookies, he never burned em' like my first batch. By the time they were done, they looked like the chunks of coal, Santa gave you for Christmas for being on the naughty list.

Gotta get up, I reminded myself and threw the blankets off me.

My bladder was something that also reminded me to get my lazy butt out of bed or else it was about to explode. 

As soon as I made it to the bathroom and dropped down, I took my relief and brushed my teeth afterward. I quickly looked in the mirror, and once again, was greeted with my familiar playful, signature smile along with an unusual flushed color on my cheeks. 

My smile fades, and I was reminded of the touches, and the words and all the feelings coursing through my body that evening and the color on my face only deepened. I gripped the edge of the sink, feeling the flesh between my legs harden. 

Not again. 

God, What in the shell was happening to me? I've known about hormones for as long as I remembered, and seen porn mags and those silly websites, but they never interested me. I mean, April has always been pretty hot to me, everyone knew I had a tiny crush on her, and always shot comments her way but that stuff got an end put to it because of Leo. 

He explained that since she was with Casey now, I had to give her respect and him. Which always made me roll my eyes. Casey was Casey- and Casey was also like Raph's best friend. I envied how close the two were. We used to be like that. Until- well, 

The thought made me frown, made me wanna curl up into a ball. This whole thing didn't make me uncomfortable though- I didn't think it was meant to. I mean, I've heard about the word Gay- and Raph has used Fag or Faggot on numerous occasions. I didn't know what It meant. But I knew what being Gay was. I've heard that to some, it's wrong and to even more that it's okay and that love was love, and I agreed. 

Emotion had no boundaries.

"Damn, Mikey I really want you,"

The reminder made my legs weak, and I couldn't help but feel myself getting stiffer down, There.

"Fuck," I muttered, Gripping the sink tighter, my eyes grew wide when I heard the voice from downstairs,

"Michelangelo, Come eat breakfast!" I heard Leo call, and I looked over my shoulder as if he was right there. 

"I-In a minute," I replied, focusing on something way more important.

I bit my lower lip and tried to cool myself down with splashing some water on my face. I couldn't go down there with what's going on between my legs, and It wasn't gonna go away- Unless,

Ugh.

Unless I fixed it. 

I went back to my room, and sighed, looking around as I itched my head, searching for a possible cover-up for the thing hanging between my legs. 

This was stupid, 

Dumb even. 

I could just fix it and move on, and go downstairs and have my breakfast, and be with my fam- My brothers. But I couldn't risk the possibility of being loud again. 

I knew that Donnie heard me, I know he did. And the look on his face when I opened the door, told me so. He was just as flushed as I was. It was kind of embarrassing and I knew he wouldn't ask me about it. Donnie wasn't the prying type, and would only ask if really worried or concerned about the situation. 

I could practically smell him from my bed to the door that night. I wondered if Don forgot about that. Forgot that I too knew what the smell of my sibling's heats smelt like. 

Though embarrassed, I still continued, knowing he would hear me. I even let him hear Raphael's name slip out and by then, I couldn't stop, and I wasn't gonna just because my geeky brother could hear me, Jacking off. 

In fact; I enjoyed the thought of either of my older brothers hearing me. I wanted them to, and I needed them to know I wasn't just a little kid anymore. I knew what things were, and I knew how to work them. 

I was still a bit unaware of some things, like the emotional deal. But with my own body- I was very familiar with how it worked and what made it burn the most. 

I let out a sigh of relief when I spotted my favorite hoodie, and I snatched it off the back of the computer chair and tied it around my waist. Making sure the front was in the back and the back was in the front. 

So, far, I was covered. And maybe, at breakfast, I could get away with the silliness of me avoiding a single masturbation session insulting my lack of will right about now. 

With one last look in the mirror, I gave myself a thumbs up, and slowly made my out of my bedroom and closed the door behind me. 

"Mikey!" Leo shouted from the kitchen, and like always, I hopped over the rail and landed at the bottom. I glanced over, Hearing a familiar metal clanking coming from the weaponry wall, and sure enough, I saw Raph lifting weights. He always had done that when he wanted to avoid us.

He was lifting his usual set and I perked up enough energy to approach him with a small smile, trying to be casual with my fucking hoodie wrapped around me. 

"Raph?" I said, sitting on the table, left of him, as I sat and watched him do another set. 

He grunted, lifting another, then another, Glancing at me a couple of times until he finally sat the weights down, "What is it, Mikey?" He said, lifting himself up on the bench, obviously wet with sweat. "I'm a little busy here"

Oh, God.

I swallowed and nodded my head, Pretending like I understood, "Well, I um, Are you coming to breakfast?" 

He shrugs, "I dunno, don't really feel like eating all that much," He admits, looking over at me, which causes things to heat up again and I pushed my thighs together. He sniffs the air, "Why?" 

I tried to come up with a quick excuse to not sound so pushy or even needy at this point. I genuinely felt love for Raph, and I wanted to try and fix what had happened. 

Yeah, Fix.

Try to. 

"Well, I just want us all there," I say with a full-on smile now, "Is that a crime?"

He stares at me for a moment and It's obvious he's trying to fight off a smile of his own.

Our eyes meet and for a moment, I forget where I am. It's just me and him. Me and Raph. 

My Raphie.

No, none of that. Not right now.

"Yeah, I'll um, I'll be in there soon, but uh," He says, sniffing the air for a second time, and my smile slowly begins to disappear, "What the hell is that smell?" 

I shuffled in my spot on the table and slowly climbed off of it, "What smell? I uh, I don't smell anything" I say lowering my shoulders, knowing exactly what he was talking about. I smelt it too, and it was coming from me. This was one reason why I hated being a Reptile, or animal, a Turtle. Whatever you'd wanna call me. 

When I was in heat (as the zoologists would say) you could smell it. It was a smell that you simply couldn't ignore, and for a couple of years now, I've managed to keep mine well hidden, until recently-

"You sure? It smells real- Strong" Raph explained, waving a hand in front of his nose, "Were you sprayed by a skunk?" he asked, gesturing towards me. 

I gasped in disbelief and placed my hands on my hips, "Says the guy drenched with sweat!" and Raph laughs in response. 

"I'm not the one who's in heat, Michelangelo," Raph said, my full name coming out of his mouth sounded like honey laced with gold. 

My face I'm sure paled, and he stood from the bench, giving me a knowing look. He crossed over to me, Coming in close, and staring right down at me. I was back to day one, where I always ended up being when Raph came this close. Stuck, and Frozen in place. 

"Raph, It's just um, It's uh," I shut my eyes, searching for the right words in my mind, "It's just the perfume, I'm wearing- It's pretty fruity actually and it reminds me of ya know, Berries, Yeah," I said, taking a step back, knowing I was screwed. Raph knew what was going on, he wasn't dumb, but I sure as shit was.

I came in here, hoping to get Raph to come to breakfast and have a nice meal for once, and knowing to come within range of him, was a risk. I took it anyway- I just wanted things to work out nicely for once, and for one of my plans to go through smoothly- But no, of course not. 

Raph towered over me, and with a small sniff, he let out a low growl, causing me to tense up, "Only girls wear perfume, Mikey" he muttered, and by then I wanted to smack myself.

I was totally screwed. 

"Hey bro, like, what's wrong with trying new things?" I questioned nervously "We better get to the kitchen before they start wondering where we are, Hah, I don't wanna uh, miss out on Don's pancakes," 

"They can wait," Raph said, looking me up and down, and soon, the aroma from his body filled my nostrils, and my knees went to jello. 

"But, what about breakfast?" Swallowing down the thick lump in my throat, "You know how I get when I haven't eaten, Raph" I mentioned, trying to lighten the mood with a small chuckle, but my face was reddening and this time, there wasn't a way out, or a way to fix it, there wasn't even a way to hide it. 

I was ready to go, and the sight of my alpha brother alone made things so much worse. 

"Are you guys comin' or not?" Leo called from the kitchen, who was out of sight, and Raph looked towards his direction. 

"We'll be in there in a bit, Start without us if ya have to, I'm gonna show Mikey some tricks with the bench press," Raph returned with a reply and looked down at me again. 

Oh.

"Okay- Just don't kill him, would ya? He can barely lift above fifty" Leo said, and usually, I would have had a come back for such a cruel remark my brother made, but right now, there was no way I could even think of a good one to respond with. 

It was just me and Raph. 

"So, Mikey- You wanna tell me about your perfume?" Raph said, taking a step closer to me, his smell becoming even more intense. 

"God, um, I-" I stopped, shaking my head, 

"How long have ya been like this?" Raph asked, not taking his eyes off my nervous, but pleading face. 

I couldn't help but answer him right away "Since we, um- Uh," I shuddered, causing Raph to erupt another low growl from his throat and he closed in on me, as my skin began to burn. 

"Say it," Raphael said, his voice dark. 

"Since," I wanted to curse at myself to just get it out already- Like today Jr! But I couldn't, I fucking couldn't and it was all because of the big gearhead in front of me. 

Raph leaned down, "Since I touched you?"

I nodded frantically and with an instant, Raphael had me scooped off of my feet and shoved right back on that same table I was parked on before. Whatever was on it, was now knocked off. It all came crashing to the ground, and I threw my head towards the kitchen, hoping to fucking God no one heard the commotion. 

Raph tore at my hoodie, and I grabbed his hands, trying to stop him, "N-No!" 

"What're you hiding?" He asked, eyes fixed on the fabric tied around me, and continued to rip and tear at my hoodie I knew was going to get ruined by the end of this tug of war game. 

I really didn't want him seeing me. It was too embarrassing- Letting my brothers hear me was one thing- But seeing me was the complete opposite, "Raphie, Please" I begged, as he yanked at my hoodie and finally it came loose and revealed what I was hiding all along.

"Mikey," Raph said, a little breathless, "Look at you, You're a goddamn mess," he laughed, urging my embarrassment further. 

"A mess?" I stared up at him, "You're kidding right?" I shook my head, shoving at his hands, but they remained where they were. His eyes fixed on my straining groin, which only made my face burn more.

I wanted to crawl into a hole and die at this point. Here I was, Ugh. Exposed, and wanting- Needing something- Anything to help me. I knew it was a huge mistake leaving my bedroom. I knew it was, fuck, I really did but I did anyway because I thought- 

I'm so stupid. 

I shook my head violently at my thoughts and whimpered at the sensation between my legs, as it was squeezed between my thighs, only making matters worse. 

I noticed that Raph was occasionally looking towards the kitchen, knowing our chances of getting caught like this by Leo, and we definitely didn't need that. Who knows what would happen if he saw, or even heard about it. 

Raph looked down at me again, and his rough hands clasped at my hips and my lower plastron, making me quiver, and his breath hitched when he felt how hot my skin was. And by this time, I didn't think shit could get any worse, but it did. It was getting worse, and I still refused to believe this was all real. It couldn't have been, right?

The feelings pooling in my gut sure felt real. All these damn, feelings! Stupid feelings, that's all I ever felt was feelings! Emotions and Feelings!

I had the sudden urge to scream my head off. But even on the inside, it wasn't possible. 

Raph's hands were burning on my skin, and to me, he looked like he was daydreaming- Like he couldn't believe it was real either. 

"R-Raph, we can't do this here," I said, trying to sound calm. 

His eyes waved over my body and I couldn't help but feel shy with him staring at me like this. It felt nice, and even amazing- At least to my cock it did. 

"And, why can't we?" he mumbled, fingers digging into my hips, forcing another whimper from my throat. 

"W-We'll get caught, what if someone-" Raph cuts me off with his mouth on mine, and within seconds I'm melting into his embrace. Soon, I find myself reaching up with little no hesitance and wrapping my arms around his neck. My digits were scrapping lightly at his carapace, causing him to purr into my mouth. 

Our lips locked, and the passion between us two was back in my arms again. It held me light like a feather, and this time, I didn't want the kiss to end as quickly as the others have. I needed it to last. I needed to feel him just a little while longer. The game Raph started was one I wanted to finish. 

Thinking this now, I didn't realize what was happening until my lips pulled apart from Raph's. I glanced down, the breathing picking up between us both, my legs were wrapped around his torso, barely reaching around his shell from me being so damn short. 

My head was beginning to spin, and I didn't exactly know where this was going but I wanted it. I wanted him. God, I really was hooked, wasn't I?

"What do you want, Mikey?" he asked, voice hushed between the two of us, pulling me close enough until my lower regions fully connected with his. 

I let out a throaty groan, and my fingers dug into his broad shoulders, "H-Help me," was all I could get out. And passed his lips, I heard him growl, the dominance practically seeping off of him, "P-Please, I want it t-to go away"

He hugged me close to him, our plastrons moving together in slow out draught grinds, as he begins to rut against me, his hands remaining at my hips, gripping tight enough to probably leave bruises. I knew by the end of all this, I'd have some fun, scrubbing Raph's fingerprints off of my body- But what was I saying? I fucking wanted them. I wanted the others to even see the marks he left on me.

"You gotta be quiet if we do this," he huffed, fingers digging deeper, and rutting faster, making the organ between my legs throb at an increased rate. 

I moaned in response, my hands hooked around his neck, trying my best to keep my legs where they were, but they kept slipping and when they slipped down a final time, Raph must have noticed the difficulty I was having and grasped both my thighs and held me up to his level above the table and continued our frottage. 

"R-Raph, wait, I--" I started, trying to keep quiet as I felt his lips at my neck, nipping and biting harshly at the skin below my ear slit, "Ah!" 

"Shh, Gotta be quiet for me, or else I won't help you," he whispered, holding me tight and letting another growl roll from his tongue, as it caused me to rut frantically against him, while my breath came in quick gasps of air. I kept my lip between my teeth and tried to be as silent as I could, but this, this was different than all those other times alone. 

"You're so fucking sexy, Mikey," he said into my ear, his hand moving down, and grasping at a place completely sacred to me, it causing me to cry out in pleasure and pain all at once. 

I knew that my tail was poking out from underneath my shell, and when Raph got his masculine fingers around it, I couldn't help but to make real moans now. His mouth was back at my neck, biting and licking and sucking- all those good things, his hands, our frottage, him, mixed into one big party package, sent me over the edge.

"R-Raphie!" I churred with a cry and found my release, as the white substance painted the space in between us. 

Seconds passed, and for a moment, I forgot where I was, here in Raph's arms and unaware of who could hear. 

Raph pulled his face out of the crook of my throat and looked directly into my eyes, his own face flushed with a light pink color. He leaned down, and briefly pecked my lips, but not letting it form into another intense makeout session, I simply couldn't afford right now. 

"Mikey?" Raph whispered, and I glanced up at him, a small grin forming on his lips.

I was still a bit out of breath, and it took me a moment to even speak. My hands were still gripping tight around Raph's neck, and I was surprised I didn't lose any of my strength at this point, "Y-Yeah, Raph?" I answered, with a smile of my own, trying to put all of this together. 

He watched my face, obviously admiring his work, "I love you,"

I love you.

The words echoed, taunting me.

Things got dark, and suddenly- 

I shot up from my bed, covered in sweat, ingulfed by the darkness surrounding me in my small bedroom. My vision was blurry and everything became hazy for me. 

It was,

It was all a dream. 

No, It- 

I ran my hands over my face, feeling like crying all of a sudden. 

It was a nice dream, it wasn't bad, so why'd it have to be taken away? Why'd it have to be fake? 

I lied back and curled up in my blanket, while pulling my pillow over my head, hoping that tomorrow would never come. 

I was thinking negative about this.

Whatever this was, it was probably all just some sick dream, some fantasy that's been hidden away for years. Maybe Raph didn't actually want me in that way and this dream I had was all pointless. A wet dream, all pointless.

But to me, it wasn't just a wet dream, it wasn't just something you saw and liked and never thought about it again, or at least for a while. 

I loved it so much, I wanted to see it again, and again.

Being in Raph's arms brought me comfort, not even my father could give me. 

Whatever time it was, I didn't plan on getting up the next day or even after that. I was changing in a way that terrified me. And for a moment, 

I thought- Was this what Love really felt like?

If so, the pain, the ache, 

You could keep it, and I wouldn't want it again, only to be in Raph's arms again. 

ᵀᵒ ᴮᵉ Cᵒⁿᵗⁱⁿᵘᵉᵈ


	9. ᵀʰᵉ ᴰᵃᵛⁱⁿᶜⁱ Cᵒᵈᵉ

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> " ᵂʰᵃᵗ ᴵˢ Yᵒᵘʳ ᴾᵒⁱˢᵒⁿ "   
ᴵˢ ᵇᵃˢᵉᵈ ᵘᵖᵒⁿ ᶜᵒᵐᵖˡᵉᵗᵉ ᶠⁱᶜᵗⁱᵒⁿ ᵃⁿᵈ ⁱᵈᵉᵃ'ˢ ᴴʸᵈʳᵃᵏⁱⁿᶻ, ᴴᵃˢ ᶜᵒˡˡᵉᶜᵗᵉᵈ ᵒᵛᵉʳ ᵗʰᵉ ᵖˡᵒᵗ ᵒᶠ ʰᵉʳ ᶠᵃᵛᵒʳⁱᵗᵉ ᶠᵃⁿᵈᵒᵐ ᵒᶠ ᵃˡˡ ᵗⁱᵐᵉ, ᵀᴹᴺᵀ
> 
> Book Two Out Now! 
> 
> This Story Contains #Turtlecest. 
> 
> ໓໐ຖ't likē, ໓໐ຖ't rēค໓.
> 
> After Raphael and Leonardo think that their brothers are dead from a warehouse explosion, they mourn the deaths of what remained, including the lie and betrayal of their father faking his own death to keep them safe. Raph and Leo try to move on, but more than twenty surprises hit them in the face like a ton of bricks when Donnie and Mike return to the lair after a fight for adventure. Feelings begin to bloom over the loss. And drama forms and rains over their heads like a storm.
> 
> Falling In Love With Your Own Sibling Was Never going to be easy-- but getting them to love you back was a challenge-- Only in reality-- they all loved each other just as equal. 
> 
> Read ᵂʰᵃᵗ ᴵˢ Yᵒᵘʳ ᴾᵒⁱˢᵒⁿ to find out what unfolds right before their eyes, and to be there every step of the way as these four brothers discover what true love and sacrifice truly means to have exactly what you want.

ᵂʰᵃᵗ ᴵˢ ʸᵒᵘʳ ᴾᵒⁱˢᵒⁿ  
ᶜʰᵃᵖᵗᵉʳ ⱽᴵᴵᴵ

ᵀʰᵉ ᴰᵃᵛⁱⁿᶜⁱ ᶜᵒᵈᵉ

[ Leonardo ]

The water felt better than nice on my skin and slowly began to relax the muscles straining beneath the flesh upon my shoulders.

I always stood headfirst below the showerhead, letting it hit me directly in the face and smother me in the heat and steam. The quietness of a long bathing session made everything on the inside disappear for a bit.

At least it did until I got out.

Since Mikey and Don have been back in the lair, things, of course, went back to the same old way- But it didn't feel the same.

In fact- It wasn't the same.

The Family I once knew, it was broken apart. It was shattered with what held the barrier up because it was taken away too soon. It was taken away from me.

The thought made me slam my fist against the wall, the ache in my fingers making everything seem so much more real, and even then I didn't want that. I didn't want the reality of realization. I needed to focus on what was most important here, and that was getting things put back together.

But here I was, I was failing- I was not doing anything but thinking- I was failing my word, my actions, my fucking Family and most importantly I was failing you, Sensei.

I knew I was in charge from the very beginning and here where I stand, I rendered myself untruly fearless. I for once feared what was to come without the man who kept everything together. He was something unforgettable, irreplaceable and truly a masterpiece in his own.

He taught me the waves of speed, the strength of stealth and gave me the body of movement and combat. He gave me what no other Father could give to his son.

It was Honor that brought me here, almost to my knees, and completely useless. My word that spread around the nature of what Family I swore I had left, went in one ear, and out the other. We were back where we were when Krang tried to take over this planet.

Nobody had brains in the objective. Only I ever did, nobody ever took anything seriously. Except for maybe, Don.

He was always wise and witty enough, but he didn't keep his head up high enough. He or any of my brothers were never as skilled as me. Don may have brains, but the knowledge wasn't always the answer. It wasn't always something you had to look up to, it wasn't a have to thing in my book.

Pain was within the mind, and I had to focus on the bigger picture. But it was all hard to ignore. Everything felt so damn stressful. I couldn't think- I couldn't feel shit- I couldn't even sleep the majority of the time, and I found myself wondering to a place I could always think in.

The Dojo didn't even give that anymore.

His scent lingered in the air, and he was all I could spiritually see and feel. I was one within his heart and the heavyweight on my shoulders was crushing me down every bone-breaking minute I remained there. I haven't been back in a couple of days, and it's been weeks or even months from what I remembered since he left us.

I was losing it. Losing everything I ever learned.

How could I be so, selfish?

I've realized now, as the water hits me in the face, that my whole life I've depended on a man that can't be with me anymore.

Sensei was the gum that held this Family together- but, was it even a Family, to begin with?

The water stung at my skin. Scrapping my inner core, and bringing me to what reality surrounded me. I ran my hands over my face, rubbing and scrubbing the grum off, hoping to cleanse some of these demons as well.

The air smelled of lilac and bananas. An odd mix, but the smell made me feel oddly free.

Like I was high in the mountains of some tropical ocean. Though that didn't make much sense. But for me, it was the best excuse I had to come up with while Raph was down my throat about the lilac. The hot-head hated the smell and said It reminded him of old ladies, and for once I laughed.

I figured I was done for the day and reached for the dial and turned the water off. I couldn't just stay in there all day- I still had duties to attend to. Even as good as it lasted, I couldn't let it take me over and keep me longer than I wanted it to.

After I stepped out, I grabbed whatever towel was hanging on the rack and dabbed at my neck and face until I was completely dry from there and lower.

I checked the time and it was still early enough to have a bit of practice before the children woke up, and I wanted a little reminder of who I am, and who I was supposed to be as a warrior.

After finding a pair of pants to put on, I reminded myself to never forget the most important thing about my wardrobe. When our good pal, The Ancient One gave us our Masuku's (Masks) - I remember thinking it was a little strange at first- I remember wondering why'd he'd wanna cover our appearances when the true nature of being a ninja, was not to worry of your looks, but your movements, because true acceptance only came from within.

I slid the fabric around my head and tied it in the back. Revealing the turtle I always knew, by heart.

Blue was the color of a leader, and I truly honored the thought of my Father, and The Ancient One thinking so highly of me in that way- I felt a little selfish and beyond worthy of its true abilities. But soon, it proved it's point.

I proved it to myself that I could run an entire army if I wanted to.

But what little I did run, proved no point to me. My brothers were complete idiots sometimes. And even then, I wondered why in the shell, my Father or someone as great and as wise as The Ancient One, chose my brothers to teach, and mold to their likeness.

I shut my eyes for a moment; knowing how harsh I sounded in my head, and knowing I could and probably would say such things if provoked. I didn't want to. But- sometimes, maybe it was needed.

What little family I had left needed to get their head in the game and out of their taints.

After brushing up on a routine of meditation and clarification, I felt somewhat better than I did before my shower. My mind felt clearer and more alive. I hoped before I left my room, that whatever was to come on this day- didn't rush in so quickly like it normally had done.

I was tired of being reminded of what I lost and that was one reason why I took up so highly on Donatello's word of traveling- But at the end of the day- Seeing The Ancient One, wouldn't really help me all that much. I knew his history with my Father, and even the sight of Japan made me cripple on the inside.

I padded down to the second floor, listening closely and I was greeted with small snores coming from each room, except for Donnie's.

Don never snored, and it was strangely- Cute, in that sense.

Whenever I accused him of it- He'd get all offensive and give me a little snort and say he doesn't.

I loved my siblings and hated them all the same. But nothin' compared to Don.

I figured since it was finally a Monday Morning- I'd skip out on breakfast and go straight to training- but I didn't want to risk stepping into the Dojo, so I decided to take things towards the living area, and begin with my simple routine of swinging- blocking and most importantly- Focus.

It was what required such a fighter in combat. Without Focus, you were nothing but a child with candy- and that made you a failure as a fighter.

I gripped the blade in my hand and jumped and kicked, landing swiftly at my feet. Having a mental image in my mind at whoever hurt my Father.

I wanted to hurt them. Do unspeakable things to the bastard, or bastards.

I never got to see it- I wish-

No, no I don't.

Maybe he got ambushed or shot. Or worse.

I growled at my speculations, and swung the blade again, this time faster than the last, then again, and again. Kicking my legs upwards, feeling my muscles strain again, and I landed with one final jump and found myself breathless.

"I see that somebody is having fun"

I swung around, Pointing the very end of my sword at the unsuspecting voice. Me on my toes, I was surprised someone snuck up behind me so easily and I spotted Donnie in the doorway- wearing his space-themed lounge pants.

I lowered my blade, and nodded my head with a bow, "Loads," was all I replied with and continued with my routine. Metal slashing and clinging in thin air, making the noise echo off the walls.

Donatello yawned, and rubbed at his eyelids beneath his glasses, "A bit early for you to be training- isn't it?"

It's never too early to be reminded of how much better you are.

"Nah, Just needed a refresher," I said, lowering my stance and putting my katana away at my carapace, "Are the others up, or have you checked?"

Donnie shrugged, and that showed me my answer that He made no effort to check.

"No, I wanted to drink some coffee before Mikey woke up," he chuckled softly and a small grin rose at the edge of my mouth.

"Coffee kills you," I teased, edging into the kitchen as Donnie followed and made his way to the coffee maker, and grabbing the beans from the cabinet.

"Yeah, it may kill, but it's the only thing that gets me through my day" He answered, not looking in my direction as I grabbed an apple from the bowl on the table, and took a large bite, it crunching in the space between us.

I watched him as silence gathered around us.

His long outstretched legs, even beneath those pants got me wondering how far they could actually go, and I found myself thinking farther into it then I should.

What was I saying- Donnie had a sculpted body for the perfect NBA player. He was tall, lean and fit as a fiddle.

I cleared my throat as the coffee maker beeped, and began to pour its nasty stench into the room. "So, how was your sleep?" I asked, taking another casual bite from my half-eaten apple, "Is it uh, still a little off?"

I saw him shrug again as he prepared a funky looking mug and poured the brown liquid in, as it steamed at the surface and filled my nostrils, making me want to gag.

"Well, I slept a couple of hours, but I just couldn't manage," he sipped from the mug and I grimaced at the sight of him licking his lips, "Had too much on my mind,"

"Like, what?"

He shook his head, "Simple stuff,"

I felt like Donnie was lying to me here, like all the other times. But I let it go and let it sink into the pit of my stomach, which was where I buried the most of my problems.

I avoided every little emotion I possibly could, and even then, I still felt something- or anything really- The sight of something or the simplest little things even being spoken about ticked me off.

I had to stay focused, and not a thing was gonna change that for me.

Absolutely Nothing

And for a moment, I realized how Raphael felt.

I hadn't forgotten about the swing he took at me, and just for Mikey's sake, I didn't overtake him or run him down.

He'd fight back and make it well awaited enough- But I knew I'd crush him if I ever got my hands on him.

"Simple stuff?"

What even was simple stuff to Don?

Soon, I finished my apple and buckshot the core into the garbage can. Donnie sat at the table in front of me, and silence, once again, Greeted me, and it only tugged at my core a little more.

"Well, simple stuff as in, how is something gonna fit together of that size or piece, or genetically syncing to-"

I held my hands up, "Alright, Alright" I sighed, "Maybe explain in a better way- like, for example, English?"

He gave me a smug grin, and after taking another sip from his mug he sat it on the surface of the table, on a Playstation coaster.

"When did you become such a smartass?" he asked, sounding a little too serious for my liking and Right as I was about to open my mouth, Michelangelo enters the room, being his chipper like self.

"Goo-ood Morning!" he sang and stretched on his tiptoes to grab the cereal from the top shelf of the pantry and sank back down, Giving me and Don an award-winning smile.

"Morning Mikey," said Donnie, taking yet another sip from his mug and dragging his tongue over his lips again, only making me want to rip the cup away from him and stomp it on the floor.

I couldn't and wouldn't do that anyway- It would be too much of a scene, too big of a mess to clean up, then everybody would be asking me questions, and wondering what the hell was going on with their, Fearless Leader.

I done a quotation gesture inside of my head and silently rolled my eyes.

"So, do we still have to do our chores for today Sensei Leo?" Mikey asked, sitting at the right of me while pouring himself a bowl of coco-puffs.

His comment made me cringe a little, and I huffed, ticking off the things Mikey and Raph would complain about today and I had to remind myself to not snap at them.

"Yeah, but Donnie is cleaning the Dojo," I mentioned, resting back in my chair, and I saw brown eyes turn to glare at me as Mikey dug into his breakfast.

"You can't do that, Leo, we all agreed that you'd do that," he said, eyes still glaring in my direction.

I did agree, but I didn't care.

"Well, Change of plans," I stood, Grabbing a bottle of water from the fridge.

He scoffed, Gripping the handle of the mug "Leonardo, We agreed on permanent rules, rules we've lived with since we were kids, You can't just up and change them, Just because you want to!" he explained with a calm tone, obviously slipping on ice as Donnie's temper was the most intimidating thing about him. I wanted to drag him down that frozen lake of mysteries, and really see how far the genius would go to get his point across.

"Oh," I popped the cap on my water and took a long swig and swallowed, "I can't?"

Don stopped a moment and soon his lips pressed together in an attempt to keep them shut.

"Because, the last time I checked, I was in charge," I said, narrowing my eyes at Donnie, causing a small blush to appear on his cheeks.

Humiliation, at it's finest.

I heard Mikey sigh, and he turned around in his chair and stared up at me, with piercing blue eyes. I couldn't resist him when he looked at me like that, and he knew it.

"Why are you being so grumpy?" he said, then turning back to his cereal, the obnoxious chewing continuing and I grumbled.

"I'm simply just telling Donnie that If I wanted to change a rule, I will. No one is grumpy" I lied.

Donnie got up and took his mug over to the sink and glanced at me after washing it out, "I'm not cleaning it"

"What?"

He stood his ground, with his quiet calm self, "I will not clean the Dojo,"

"You will if I say you are, Donatello, What I say goes!" I said, sounding a little loud and I noticed the obnoxious chewing had come to a stop, and there he was again, Mikey looking right up at me.

"I wish everyone would stop fighting- and I wished you'd be the Leader you used to be," he said, not holding back the cold tone in his innocent little voice.

I clenched my fists and was stood over Mikey in a split half-second as he sank down in his chair, causing it to squeak, "You will never speak to me like that again, You under-"

"I think it'd be better that ya step off, Leo," said a knowing voice as Raph entered the room, causing what hair I didn't have to stand up on the back of my neck. I watched Mikey sigh, having some sort of relief in his eyes, knowing Raph was near.

I turned and saw the second eldest alpha, and glared up at him, "I think it's better if you stay out of it, Raphael"

Raph gave me a simple grin and came closer, "How's about I clean the Dojo, and you lay off my little bro?"

"Your, little bro?" I chuckled, "He's not just yours, Raph. We both know you got a thing for him, but he definitely isn't just yours,"

Raph let out a large growl as if I just outed him to a whole school or something and he got right in my face, making me boil with inner rage.

Calm, Collected and Focused, Leo, You got this.

Knock This Motherfucker Out.

Raph shoved me, "You don't know what you're talkin' about! and maybe Mikey is right, You ain't much of a leader anymore, especially since-"

"Don't you fucking say it!" I shouted, causing Mikey to squeak in his seat, "Don't you dare mention dad," I glared at Donnie for a moment, "You will clean the Dojo, and that is final," I clarified, storming out of the room, not giving them a single chance to respond to me.

They weren't even worthy of my presence, and I needed them out of my way before I really snapped.

And for a while, they did, and on occasion, I'd see them coming and going from each room, sticking to their morning chores.

I didn't see Donnie for a while, and I just figured he was still cleaning the Dojo and wiping down the floors. I also began to think about everything for a minute, and even beyond that.

For a whole hour, I was feeling even more down than usual.

Donnie didn't deserve what I said to him.

Yes, he did.

Nobody knew what went on in my head, so- they were just my audience, my audience in watching every emotion cripple my mind and ooze from my body like the mutation that ran in my bloodstream.

He deserved it and you know he did. You loved the look on his face when you told him what to do, the power that poured on top of your head like fine gold.

"No," I grunted, slamming my fist on to the concrete, but the music that was playing in the lair masked the massive noise I just made.

It went from Morning to Night fairly quickly and By then, everyone except for Donnie was gathered in front of the television. Mikey sat the farthest away and planted his butt in the bean bag chair, as he dangled a feathered toy in the air, above our beloved Klunk the kitten.

Mikey giggled playfully watching the cat swipe his paws and grab at the feather swaying in the air, "You're getting better, buddy" Mikey said, scratching the cat's fluffy stomach.

I watched in a daze that reminded me of what happiness we did have, beforehand.

Michelangelo made it known to everyone nothing really brought him down or made him unhappy- And I envied the small reptile, thinking of what it'd be like to have everything back to normal again.

To be, happy again.

Raphael stretched his muscular legs along the length of the couch and rested his head on a circular shaped pillow, "So, Leo, there' anything else we can do for ya, your royal highness?" Raph smirked, resting an arm behind his head, causing me to grit my teeth and roll my eyes in a reply and he returned with a Laugh.

"All's work has been accomplished as of today- Everyone did a nice job," I said, swallowing what little pride I had left and continued to praise my brother's usual work.

Raph grunted and moved to sit up on the couch, "Nice job? I made those floors shine, I deserve a better reward than that, maybe a nice meal would be appreciated,"

Mikey's eyes wondered to Raph when he spoke about food, and perked up, "Please tell me we can get Pizza- No, Chicken, No, wait- Pasta!"

Raph smiled at Mikey's sudden energy but then looked away and I noticed the look on his face, it was pained, and for a moment, I saw the emotion in his eyes. When he looked at Mikey he was a different person, and the love they shared was something- unlike Raph I had ever seen.

"You guys wanna go get food, and put on a movie or something when you get back?" I asked out of nowhere, and Mikey stood from the bean bag without an answer and Klunk scrambled out of his lap and stumbled over to me, rubbing my leg and purring happily in glee.

"Heck yea, dude, Raphie, let's go!" he started but then looked at me puzzled, "Wait, what movie are we watching?"

I shrugged with a quiet smile, "Anything you want Michelangelo, no scary films though, we know how much Raph hates that,"

"Fuck you," Raph spat and got up from the couch, only to give me the middle finger, it making my smile widen a bit at his humor.

"Hmm, I'll have to dive into my prime collection and find something special for ya, Raph, now let's go, I'm starved!" he urged, tugging on Raph's hand causing him to tense up like a brick wall. 

"Yeah, right, um, we'll be back then," Raph mumbled, giving me a look over his shoulder that only made me wonder further about what really is going on inside that big head of his.

I told them to try and cause no trouble to those who didn't recognize them, and to be careful like I always had told my brothers before someone left the lair without having me in the distance to protect them in case something went terribly wrong- though, I knew with what happened to Krang- Nothing terrible has happened in a while, and it feels wrong to feel so, 'worry-less' about crime in a city such as NYC.

I didn't think about Donnie again until about thirty minutes after Mikey and Raph left to go and grab grub. I was a good ten minutes into the new season for Supernatural, and I huffed, feeling the orange feline curl at my side and sleep, making me wish I could sleep like that.

Cat's could sleep anywhere, literally and it was me, admitting that I envied the cat even more than his owner.

I paused the show on the screen and shut it off, not really caring if I miss much. I fiddled around with my thumbs, trying to figure out a plan to apologize to my own brother.

Donnie was a bit of a softie at heart, but he had a hard shell for emotional support. I couldn't believe I was admitting it but-

I was nervous.

Me and Donnie had always been close, even as kids. We stuck together, and I guess that's what caused the separation from me and the other two. I admired many things about Don, and his brains just weren't it.

I stood up, leaving Klunk on the couch to spread out and stretch, and he meowed without my presence, but I couldn't just sit here and think.

Or feel. Hah, You're the softie now.

Nothin' but a disappointment. He was Leonardo, the disappointment.

I shook my head in a disagreement with my own head and headed for the Dojo, my breath catching in my throat knowing what I'm gonna have to put up with just doing this.

The Dojo was like one of those off-limit police crime scenes. Except this door didn't have the bright yellow tape across it and nobody was murdered here.

It was a crime scene in some other type of way- Like some boundary, I couldn't bring myself to cross, ever.

I reached for the door handle and slid the doors open, and across the way- I spotted Donnie, curled up in the chair by the lit fireplace, with a book in hand, and when the door came open, his eyes shot up, staring right at me.

I took the time to slowly enter the room. My steps careful, and my eyes wary of the memories surrounding me.

They were gonna destroy me.

My body heat was already rising and once I got to the middle of the room, I stopped, feeling unable to move.

"The room won't bite, ya know?" Donatello said, tearing his eyes off me and back to his novel of Oceanlude.

"Yeah, won't bite you, but it will me," I said, looking at him again with a sigh, wanting to get this done, and over with. I wasn't feeling very apologetic, "Have you been in here the whole time?" I then asked, not moving another inch.

"When are you gonna let it go?" he said, replacing my question with his own, he closed the book and set it aside, while standing up from the chair, his long legs untangling beneath him.

I gave him a questioning look of my own, "What do you mean, Don?" I asked, cooly.

He shook his head, Pulling out his Bo staff, and it clicked with a flick of his thumb and it sprang out, stretching to its full length.

"Dad"

The heat in my body rose higher, and the memories, the spirits were attacking me like birds. Picking and Prodding at my core, wanting to break me, failing but winning all at the same time.

"What? Let go of, Dad?" I scoffed, "Let go of what happened? How the fuck could I, when even your face reminds me of him,"

"Get over it," Donnie simply said, twisting his bo in a twirling motion, and gaining speed then stopping and slamming the end at the Dojo floor, he was moving closer and I moved a step back, my hand twitching for my blade.

"What're you saying here, Donnie?" I asked, raising my voice, the tremor in my hand going crazy as he took another step closer.

"You need to get over his death already!" he said just as loud, "How many times do I need to tell you, and the others, to let, Sensei, rest?"

"Shut up, Donnie, I don't need to do anything! I miss him, and it's driving me mad!" I yelled, returning the favor and stepping closer to him, and he shoves me back with a poke of his bo, and shook his head again, with something dark in his eyes.

"Yeah, we all do, Leo, we all miss Master Splinter, we miss him because he was family and because he was someone we loved, Did you know that we can feel that? We can Love, and you treat it like some big sin!" He said, shoving me back again, the bo digging at my chest.

"Fuck you, Donnie, all feelings are, are bullshit!" my hands trembling at this point as I feel the anger in my core erupt and I reached for my sword and yanked it from my shell.

"Yeah?" he said, sounding a bit shaken, "How is that so? How is that so, when you are feeling right now, right this second!" he shouted, stunning me for a moment, "You feel pain, Leo, You feel your heart aching! You are grieving! And that's feeling something!"

"All brains and no fucking sense, That's all you are, Donatello, and that's all you're good for, is what is up in that head of yours," I said, letting a little cackle of laughter rip through my chest, "It's all I use you for, all this family used you for!"

I saw tears form in Donnie's eyes, and my hand became unshaken while holding my blade out to him, the world around me stopped and it rendered me wrong- so wrong in a way that I knew deep down that Don was right. He was correct about everything he just said to me. Because, here I was, raging mad, and I couldn't control it.

The anger is all apart of it.

I blinked, the world moving slowly until Donnie was shoving me back again with his bo, and he came at me, hit after hit was being thrown at me, and before I could stop myself, I was blocking them all, and slicing my blade along his staff, trying to break it. Destroy it.

Destroy him.

KILL HIM.

The voices in my head were blinding my judgment, taking over and I threw myself at my brother, and with what luck, he blocked most my hits until my blade came in contact with the skin on his shoulder and it sliced him open, Giving him a decently sized gash, where blood welcomed itself and poured from the wound, and I heard him wincing in pain. But I couldn't stop myself.

I was gone, He was gone, everything was, and I was gonna destroy the rest of it.

I was under control.

Me.

"L-Leo!" Donnie cried as I tackled him, my katana lying somewhere on the ground, but I didn't want it. I wanted to get my hands on him, I needed to feel the pulse in his throat slow, I wanted to watch in the pure pleasure of seeing his beautiful brown eyes roll back into his skull.

I welled at him, Growling and spitting misheard things in his face, as I punched and swung at him, my fists connecting with his body every chance I took, not missing; not forgetting what I really wanted here.

I saw red, more blood than I had originally planned.

My heart was on fire, and my knuckles ached, shooting pain after pain up my arms as I hit my brother, as he tried to fight me off. I felt more alive than I ever did, it was all relieving itself from my system and it felt unreal.

Inhumane, it was beyond the control of insanity and I couldn't stop, and I wouldn't until the four-eyed freak stopped writhing beneath me.

I went to throw another punch, my lungs struggling to keep up with me as I felt a pair of arms tangle up both of my biceps and rip me away from my brother.

"What the fuck are you doing Leo!" was shouted in my face and I blinked, touching down again, and soon, the fire was gone, and the memories faded with its smoke.

"Leonardo!" Raph shouted, and I looked up, realizing who was in front of me.

"Oh, God, Raph, he's really- Jesus," Mikey gasped, tending to whatever was on the floor.

"Have you gone fucking mental?" Raphael roared in my face, shoving me against the wall, "You could have killed him!"

"Raphael!" Mikey said, Gaining the attention of the bigger turtle, "He doesn't have much time, W-We gotta get him some sort of help, we don't-" Mikey begins to cry and I blinked again, not feeling the hole in my chest until Raph let go of me and I saw what was on the floor.

"Donnie?" my voice cracked, seeing his battered face. His glasses were lying on the floor next to him, and they were completely ruined. Mikey held Don up, letting his head rest on his shoulder, as he tried to coax him into waking up, but there...

There wasn't luck.

"I'll deal with you, later," Raph promised, pointing a large green finger at me, and turned to run at Don's side, taking him into his arms, he fell limp there, and blood was everywhere.

So much red it made my stomach nearly turn.

The smell was horrendous.

Did I do that?

The tears in my eyes were stinging me, and I had to get out of there. This had to be some kind of dream, some kind of- bad joke, cruel joke.

I didn't look back as I ran out of the Dojo, not hearing whoever was calling for me, calling my name.

I didn't feel anything- There wasn't a single inch of emotion left in me.

What had I done?

I screamed as I ran through the sewers, stomping all the way to the exit and finding my way out of this, horrible, horrible, nightmare.

ᵀᵒ ᴮᵉ Cᵒⁿᵗⁱⁿᵘᵉᵈ


	10. ᴮˡⁱⁿᵈ Sᵖᵒᵗˢ

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> " ᵂʰᵃᵗ ᴵˢ Yᵒᵘʳ ᴾᵒⁱˢᵒⁿ "   
ᴵˢ ᵇᵃˢᵉᵈ ᵘᵖᵒⁿ ᶜᵒᵐᵖˡᵉᵗᵉ ᶠⁱᶜᵗⁱᵒⁿ ᵃⁿᵈ ⁱᵈᵉᵃ'ˢ ᴴʸᵈʳᵃᵏⁱⁿᶻ, ᴴᵃˢ ᶜᵒˡˡᵉᶜᵗᵉᵈ ᵒᵛᵉʳ ᵗʰᵉ ᵖˡᵒᵗ ᵒᶠ ʰᵉʳ ᶠᵃᵛᵒʳⁱᵗᵉ ᶠᵃⁿᵈᵒᵐ ᵒᶠ ᵃˡˡ ᵗⁱᵐᵉ, ᵀᴹᴺᵀ
> 
> Book Two Out Now! 
> 
> This Story Contains #Turtlecest. 
> 
> ໓໐ຖ't likē, ໓໐ຖ't rēค໓.
> 
> After Raphael and Leonardo think that their brothers are dead from a warehouse explosion, they mourn the deaths of what remained, including the lie and betrayal of their father faking his own death to keep them safe. Raph and Leo try to move on, but more than twenty surprises hit them in the face like a ton of bricks when Donnie and Mike return to the lair after a fight for adventure. Feelings begin to bloom over the loss. And drama forms and rains over their heads like a storm.
> 
> Falling In Love With Your Own Sibling Was Never going to be easy-- but getting them to love you back was a challenge-- Only in reality-- they all loved each other just as equal. 
> 
> Read ᵂʰᵃᵗ ᴵˢ Yᵒᵘʳ ᴾᵒⁱˢᵒⁿ to find out what unfolds right before their eyes, and to be there every step of the way as these four brothers discover what true love and sacrifice truly means to have exactly what you want.

ᵂʰᵃᵗ ᴵˢ ʸᵒᵘʳ ᴾᵒⁱˢᵒⁿ  
ᶜʰᵃᵖᵗᵉʳ ᴵˣ

ᴮˡⁱⁿᵈ ˢᵖᵒᵗˢ

[ Leonardo ]

Who Even Was That?

I kept running- running and jumping and getting farther and farther away from the lair.

The city was a blur behind me, and I couldn't even make out what things were, or if I could hear a faint shouting behind me.

I felt the muscles in my legs giving out.

No.

I had to keep going- why wasn't I waking up?

I climbed atop a building and landed on my knees the moment I assumed I was far enough. I huffed heavily feeling my lungs burning and swelling at my plea.

"Fuck,"

I slammed my already aching fists into the closest thing I could get my hands on. I was denting the insolation and I didn't realize how bloody I actually was until the dark red color was smeared on the metal in front of me.

I looked at my hands, as they trembled and shook. My knuckles were battered and beaten. Torn and Bruised. It was all my fault.

"I failed you, again" I begin to sob, holding my head, and staring up at the moon, wanting to shout and scream and pull hair that I didn't have out of my skull.

There wasn't a single doubt left in my mind, I was beyond done with holding every inch of emotion in. Donatello, Oh god! He was right! So, right. Like he always was, the nerd.

And look what I've done, he's never gonna forgive me, what if-

"Fuck," I cursed again, my voice reaching for miles.

What if he doesn't make it, then that would mean, No.

My heart dropped to the bottomless pit of my stomach and it ached, burned and I wanted to reach in and pull it out- and stomp on it until it was just Nothing.

I couldn't have killed my brother. I didn't- I know I didn't! It wasn't that bad.

Was It?

What the shell was I even talking about- of course, it was bad, it was so bad he didn't wake up!

"God, what have I done," was all I could mutter, until I heard a small thud and a lot of huffing and puffing-

"L-Leo," Mikey panted, resting his hands on his knees, out of breath, "Holy- mm, shit, why you gotta run so far away?"

I didn't even get up to pull out what blade remained on my shell. I didn't care who or what attacked me at this point. All my Focus was gone, and whoever took it- could keep it.

"Go home, Mikey" was all I could manage, not looking in his direction as I cleaned up my face, not wanting to let my youngest brother see me shed such tears for something that had happened, that remained to be all of my fault.

He huffed again, "No, I ran this far, to talk to you, to find out, God, okay one minute, I really shouldn't have eaten that cake earlier," he held a finger up, to signal me to wait a moment, "Okay- I think I'm good,"

"Go Home, Michelangelo!" I shouted, almost letting the tears break me again.

"No, Leo!" he shouted back, causing me to face him. The first thing I saw was the blood-smears trailing down his bicep, throat, and hands. God, I couldn't escape this.

It was all real. Too real.

What have I fucking done?

"What happened back there?" Mikey asked, crossing his arms, and I looked away- not being able to bear the sight.

How was I meant to answer a question like that? How was I meant to tell my baby brother that I just had a mental break down, and literally had no explanation behind it?

I tilted my head back, letting the cold air above me take me with it, "What happened, Mikey" I bit back the bitter taste in my mouth, "I fucked up, that's what happened,"

"How, how did you fuck up?"

"I almost killed him, like-" I stopped, holding my hand in the air, seeing the blood again, "Like, Raph said, I could have killed him,"

"Well, you didn't," Mikey said, walking towards me and stopping only a few inches away and I looked down at him, feeling my heart skip a beat.

"I what?"

Mikey shook his head, "You didn't kill him, dude, you just gave him a serious beat down that wasn't needed, that he obviously-"

"Didn't deserve?" I said, finishing the rest of Mikey's sentence and I shook my own head, holding my hands behind my neck and resting them there trying to process everything that was going on, "Even if I didn't, Mike, I still did it, I still did that!"

I heard Mikey sigh, "Can you just come back to the lair?"

How could I possibly do that? I couldn't see- I couldn't witness what mistake I made there. I committed a crime, the biggest of family crimes. A fucking sin if I say so myself.

"No, I can't see him like that" I answered, walking to the edge of the building-

"Or see that Splinter isn't there," he said, causing my head to shoot in his direction, "That's it, isn't it?" he asked, and I looked away- my heart aching even more than I thought it could at this point.

"I um, No, Donnie said to let him rest, and- things, they-" I stopped, knowing those goddamn tears would arrive soon enough, "They got out of hand,"

"Yeah, Leo, things did get out of hand, and you're lucky me and Raph came back when we did!" He said, looking out at the city then back at me, "You almost killed him, because of what? It's because of what's going on up here," he pointed both his index fingers to his skull, "You don't talk about what's going on anymore, and you- No, we, are meant to do that. You're so angry because of that reason, it's not you, Leo, You aren't you, and you haven't been since Dad died, when are you gonna realize that?"

Mikey was next to me now, and apart of me wanted to just tell him to go home again, but I knew that wasn't gonna work, like the first two times. And I hated admitting it- but now, even Mikey was right. He was always the quiet one really- quiet about serious things, never was one to speak from the heart.

When did he become so, Poetic?

"You think I don't know that?" I questioned simply and a bit quietly- I looked back at Mikey who was staring right back at me.

"No, I don't know what I know anymore, so much has happened here lately- with me, with me and Raph, with Donnie, You and fucking Donnie," he laughed softly and it made me cringe, "You think I don't want things to be the way they used to be?" he started, "I miss, Sensei just as much as you do, as we all do, so you can't keep taking your grief out on everybody else- and You know something- I hate to admit this, but you're more like Raph now, than you ever were, because, he does the same crap,"

Hearing these words, these caring but yet harsh words. I felt my heart opening to a real, bigger picture this time, and for once, I could see a bit of light. I didn't expect it to be from Mikey- but hearing this, knowing these things, it made me feel somewhat better.

I felt more cleansed, except-

"Donnie, he-" I looked away feeling a tear hit my cheek and I instantly went to wipe it away "He won't forgive me for this, Mikey"

Mikey took my hand, and smiled up at me, causing me to almost cry again, "Don't think like that, we know how he is, he just- he's just gonna need some time, You know? Wouldn't you after you got your ass kicked by a blue-banded-samurai?" he joked, causing me to smile a little, but it immediately faded, knowing that now wasn't much of a joking time.

It wasn't a time to smile, and laugh. I couldn't.

"I am no, Samurai, Mikey- but, I think it's gonna take longer than time itself, I don't think I can even see him, I can't-" I began to explain, but Mikey sealed my lips shut when he placed a finger over them, silencing me.

"Stop thinking like that- and just come home, You're fearless, my fearless leader, don't let this break you, don't let something like this break you when you can fix it when you can just move passed it with a little time, it's all it needs," he said with a smile of his own.

Seeing him basically begging like this, shattered my heart. He wanted it more than I did. Wanted everything to be fixed. Be normal, again.

"How could I let something break me more than I already am?" I questioned after pulling Mikey's hand away from my face.

He gave me a slight shrug- "That's a question that's been ongoing unanswered for decades, Leo, now please," he sighed, "Just please come home, we need you, I need you there, we all do, you can't leave us at times like these, even if you made a few mistakes, or one giant mistake,"

Thinking of it now, I couldn't just run away like this. I couldn't stoop that low, and become someone I'm not. Become a coward of a man I knew I'd never wanna be, or never will be. I then nodded, "Alright, Alright, Mikey"

He perked up, and a huge smile grew on his face and soon I was greeted with something I hadn't had in ages. Mikey wrapped his arms around me and hugged into my body- causing me to tense up and stare down at him in a sudden bit of shock.

I was never much of a hugger, but Mikey was a cutie when he needed affection. I smiled through the pain and carefully slid my own arms around his smaller frame and hugged him back. He giggled with glee knowing I was returning the favor, and for a moment I forgot about everything that had happened tonight.

"Now, let's go, I wanna get back before sunrise," he said, releasing me, and yanking on my arm, and soon the gut feeling returned, making me wanna puke. I didn't wanna go back, but I agreed. I agreed to it and I couldn't just lie. I couldn't run and keep running- I had to be strong and be who everyone knew me to be.

A Leader.

I then nodded my head with a prepared sigh, and he smiled again, obviously proud of himself. I had a feeling this wasn't gonna be one of those things that weren't gonna go any further than between me and Mikey tonight. He was keen on rubbing things in our faces, but this, this was special to him.

I dreaded going back to the lair, I knew what I was gonna have to deal with.

Mikey and Me were on our way back, making a packed at whoever made it back there last, would be a rotten egg and had to make breakfast the next morning- which was something that I definitely didn't want. I've seen Don cooking and even then I couldn't be good at it.

Mikey hopped down into the sewers first, and I landed behind him, "So, how is Raph dealing with all of this?" and at that Mikey gave me a hopeful look as if he was praying for me or something and I knew then, that the moment I stepped back into the Lair, I was gonna hear hell.

I deserved it.

"We're back, Raph," Mikey said, announcing our presence, which was something I wanted to smack him for.

Not even a minute went by being back in the lair, and Raph appeared at the top floor, in front of Don's bedroom door, and he jumped down, the ground shaking as usual, and he was staring right at me.

"Look who's back," he commented and sauntered his way towards me, keeping me at my toes. I wasn't usually one to be scared of Raphael, but I definitely wasn't in a fighting mood. I didn't feel like hearing the yelling- the shouting and the shoving and pushing until one of us throws the first punch.

It was a child's game.

"Raph, no fighting please," Mikey said, standing near us as Raph got closer.

"Oh, no, I didn't think our leader had anymore fighting left in him, considering he nearly beat the daylights out of our brother, ain't that right, Leo?"

I sighed, wanting to ignore Raph. His words pained me, irritated me, but I didn't have the strength to give him a reward by giving him exactly what he wanted out of me, and that was the satisfaction to fight him.

"I'm sorry" was all I could say and I slowly pushed passed him, and he grabbed me by the forearm, and I glared up at him, trying to pull myself away from the oversized reptile, "Let go, Raph,"

"You're sorry?" he laughed in my face and gave me a bitter like grin, "You think apologizing to me, will make all of this better, Leo?"

"No, it won't, now let fucking go of me," I growled and yanked away again, but he remained to keep his tight hold on me.

Mikey was at Raph's side and tried to pull him away and Mikey was obviously pleading at this point, "Raph," he started, but Raph growled back at me and tightened his grip on my arm, causing me to wince.

"What's stopping me from beating the fuck out of you, like ya did Donnie?" he said, Glaring back at me, and I lowered my head, the images of Don's face flashing in my mind, "What even is stopping me from breaking ya arm, right here, and now, huh, Leo?"

"I am," said Mikey and squeezed at Raph's arm, causing him to look down at our little brother, and he softened a bit at the look on Mikey's face, and he growled again, and let go of me.

I went to rub the indents on my arm, and sighed at how sore I actually was becoming- I wish today never happened.

"Where is, Don?" I asked, sounding a little quieter than usual.

"Up in his room, you ain't goin' up there, either" Raph answered, continuing to glare at me and I shook my head with an irritated sigh.

"If I want to see him, there is nothing you will do that can stop me. I may have done what I did, but I've done some thinking and I-I've got a leveled head now, all thanks to, Mikey," I said, watching a smile appear on his face.

Raph looked back down at Mikey and grit his teeth, "You helped this nitwit?" he asked, his tone dark, "After what he did to Donnie, you went and helped him?"

Mikey nodded, obviously ready for a question such as this, "Yeah, Raphael, I did. I did, because, Leo is still our brother too, he's got problems too,"

"Poor fuckin' him! He nearly killed him!" Raph shouted and Mikey squeaked.

"That's enough, Raph!" I said, and he looked back at me, his eyes cutting through me, and with that, Raph was in my face and shoved me, almost making me trip over my feet.

I balanced myself on the balls of my feet and stood up straight, gaining some sort of stance with what focus I had left.

"You've got no right to step in, and play victim, Leo!" Raph shouted in my face, shoving me again and this time, my shell hit the wall behind me, and he slammed me against it.

"Raph!" Mikey said from behind him.

"Shut up, Mikey! This bastard deserves whatever he's got comin' for him, and if it ain't by me, it's sure as hell gonna be somethin' much worse," Raph said with a promised tone, obviously pissed and ready to crack my head open.

"Yeah, Raphael, I know that I deserve it all!" I said back in his face, shoving him on the chest, "Whatever it is, whatever comes for me, I'll welcome it with open arms, and by then, I hope to the Kami God's that it'll make you happy- me being dead would probably make you wanna throw a party- am I right?"

Raph rolled his eyes and let go of me, but then shoving me again, causing me to slam against the wall a second time, "Yeah, Yeah, you know what, I probably would,"

"Raph, You don't mean that!" Mikey insisted.

"Oh, I fucking do, I'd throw a million parties to see you burn, Leonardo," and the words stung but I knew in my heart, they weren't meant by anything and only coming from emotions, angered ones.

"I'm going to see, Donnie, now please, Get out of my way before I make you move," I said as my voice was a little hoarse, and I tried to move passed Raph again, but he refused to let me by-

"I already told you, Leo, You aren't doing that, not if I have a word in it," Raph said, still glaring at me with those damn eyes of his.

"Would you guys quit it?" Mikey said, sounding a little panicked by the situation. I didn't wanna do things like this in front of him. He was almost a grown man, but he was still the littlest out of us all, and I couldn't bear letting him see me so aggressive again. I didn't even want Raph seeing me like that, but our anger collided like two perfect shapes.

"I am going up there, asswipe!" I said, not backing down with my usual controlling tone.

"No, you're not!" Raph shouted.

"Guys!" Mikey yelled, "I-I've got something to tell you," voice quietening down now.

I looked at him and shoved Raph off me, "What?"

"Oh, for christ's sake, Mikey not now!" Raph grunted, obviously not caring about anything but himself right now.

"Shut up, Raph, can you do that? Just be quiet for once, and let's hear what he has to say!" I said, turning my attention to Mikey and he was looking more panicked than a minute ago, and he sighed.

Raph finally shut up and hopefully was gonna listen.

I wanted to forget about today- though that would never happen. I would never be able to forget the way Don's face looked after I had beaten him. Forget the blood, the broken glass from his spectacles.

It was gruesome, and it was all done by my part. I had hope that maybe if Donnie could forgive me, that I'd be able to forgive myself.

"Go on then, Mikey" Raph huffed, and it only made him look worse.

What was going on? What else could possibly happen today that hasn't already? I wasn't ready for more drama, I wasn't in need of a joke.

"Okay um, I've got something really um, really bad to tell you, or good, depending on how you're gonna take this," he said, nervously fiddling with his belt.

"What're you on about, Mike?" I asked, stepping forward, but Raph didn't move from his spot and kept quiet.

"Well um, You guys remember the fire, and the explosion at that building, right?"

I nodded, "Yeah?"

"What about it?" Raph asked.

"Well, You guys have been so curious about how I got out- I um, I was actually saved by this lady- her name is Lydia, they call her the White Majo," Mikey explained, piquing my curiosity.

"A White Witch?" I said, "Why would a Majo save any of us?"

"Yeah, You of all people," Raph teased, and I nudged him.

"Well, that's where the bad bit or good, I don't know, comes in to tell, and um, After she saved me, and helped me out and whatnot, healed me, um, she gave me this letter," he said, not being able to look at either of us, but he forced it upon himself and looked directly at me, "The letter is from, um, The letter is from, Sensei"

My heart stopped, and for a moment, I felt like I was hearing things. I didn't hear that. No, no I didn't. I gave Mikey a widening look, "What?" my voice croaked, "What did you just say?"

"The Letter, it's from, Dad," Mikey repeated, fiddling with his belt again, while pulling a folded piece of paper out, and stretched his arm, wanting to give the letter to me.

I didn't think I could lose it any more than I already was.

A Letter? A fucking letter. My heart was breaking at the sight of Mikey just telling me this, and whatever was in the letter, was going to kill me.

As I go to grab the letter, Raph snatches it from him and unfolds it.

"R-Raph, give that to me!" I said, trying to grab it from him, but he walks away and was reading it in silence. The suspense was murdering me. I had to know. I had to find out.

The secrets, my god.

My anger was starting to boil again, and I knew it wasn't going to last long before I snapped a second time. But the question was, on who?

"What- why, why would he," Raph said, sounding breathless, "How long have you had this!" Raph shouted, looking right at Mikey who sank where he stood, looking helpless.

"Cool it, Raphael," I took the letter from him, and was surprised it didn't rip, and I began to scan the writing on the paper, instantly knowing who it belonged it. The man I once knew, it was here, he was on this paper.

I read the words, taking in every inch of it, and my heart began to speed up and thudded against my chest cavity

Especially Leonardo would be very upset with me, And angry and disappointed that your own Father would fake his own death, Just to take a trip that you, nor the rest of your brothers wouldn't have the strength of taking alongside me.

"Oh," the words slipped from my lips, "What- how, how is this," I glanced up and met Mikey's eyes, "How long were you gonna keep this from me?"

"From us!" Raph butted in, and Mikey jumped, taking a few steps back, and he had tears in his eyes, this ripping him apart.

"He said not to, I couldn't disobey- I thought it was the right thing to do, at the time, but now, Now I see what this is doing to you guys, I couldn't keep it in, I couldn't bring myself to let you guys continue to be like this, I love you too much!" He said, pain in his voice as he began to sob.

"It doesn't matter, that fucker lied to all of us!" Raph shouted, "If he lied, You didn't need to lie! Now you're just like him, a fucking liar, Mikey!"

"That's enough, Raph, he was just doing what he thought was right!" I said, as my mouth got dry and I folded the letter up again, "He manipulated our little brother, Raph," I admitted, rubbing the temple on my head.

"I-I'm sorry," Mikey said, tears streaming down his cheeks.

Raph sighed, "Don't cry, Mikey" Raph stepped forward, and brought Mikey into his arms, and held him to his chest, Which shocked me entirely and I stood there, watching them, and hearing Mikey's soft sobs, "I didn't mean what I said, alright?" Raph whispered, petting the top of our little brother's head.

I placed my hand on his shoulder, and I felt Mikey mold into my touch as if it was something he needed most.

"I'm gonna go up and see Donnie, I need to talk to him," I said, my voice still sounding a little hoarse and I didn't turn back or bother to reply to whoever said anything to me. I headed for the stairs, the letter in my hand.

Today was the second-worst day of my entire life. I didn't even think that the first one counted anymore. The day I shed a tear over my own father was the last time I ever would.

I got up to Donnie's bedroom door, and held my hand up, debating on whether I should knock or not.

What if he didn't wanna see me, what if he hated me, God, I didn't care about any of that at the moment.

I gave the door a few taps, and from behind it, I heard a faint, "Come in,"

I stared down at my feet and let out a breath of air while grabbing the door handle and pushing it open. I didn't look at Donnie yet. I couldn't. I continued to stare at my feet, knowing I'd have to eventually- and I did.

"Oh," Don said, "Hi, Leo," he said, voice sounding weak.

I glanced up, seeing Donnie placed under his blankets in bed, but he was sitting up, and I hurt at the sight. Knowing this was all my fault. He was here because of me.

I waved a hand at him, avoiding his eyes, though I think he was avoiding my own, "Hey- I um," I started but then I couldn't bring the words out.

"You don't gotta come up here and apologize to me," he said, grabbing the glass of water off the nightstand, with a bendy straw in it, "I don't want them," he exclaimed, sipping from the straw.

"Want what?" I asked, looking at him this time, and his glasses were missing- and I knew why- His mask was missing as well, and I couldn't help but feel a little warmer knowing I could see his small face. His face was so pretty- so beautiful, even with all the bruises and cuts.

I took a step forward and I noticed Donnie flenching in his bed, and he pulled the blanket tighter over himself.

Did he think I was still going to hurt him? God, what have I done?

"I don't want your apologies, Leo," Don said, sucking on the straw.

He loved those things. Seems like everything he ever drank, was out of a straw.

"Donnie," I started, and he shook his head.

"No," he stopped me, "I don't want your goddamn apologies," he said, narrowing his eyes at me, looking sad, and full of pain, "Whatever happened down there, I wanna forget it happened," he looked at me after taking another sip from his straw, "I wanna forget you,"

My heart sank and my eyes knitted together in confusion, "You don't mean that, Don"

"And what if I did? You let the worst get to you, You became exactly what I had always feared, even with how much I loved you, I knew it would happen," he explained, eyes getting teary "I knew it would,"

"Donnie, I'm sorry!" I said loudly causing him to flench again, I stepped forward again and was almost at his bedside, "And we, we all do fucked up shit- and We all love each other at the end of the day and, and-"

"No, I loved you, Leo," he interrupted, "I really did,"

What.

"What're you saying, Donnie?"

He sighed, a permanent frown forming on his face, "Just leave me be, Leo, this is already embarrassing enough, and I don't need you up here, making it worse for me, alright? So, just-" he stopped, and I watched as the tears fell from his eyes, staining his bruised cheeks, "Get out!"

"No!" I shouted, hoping the others don't hear and come rushing up here, "What do you mean by you really loved me?"

He didn't look at me, and for a moment I felt his pain, it pulled at my heart, pulled at whatever soul was left in my body and my eyes widened at the sight.

Loved.

"You, oh, Donnie," I breathed, realizing exactly what he meant and it lit a fire deep within me.

"Please, Leo, if you truly understood, then leave me alone!" he shouted not even looking at me, punching at my heart, and ruling me truly speechless.

I didn't want to cry anymore today and I couldn't bring myself to a single tear. I stood there for a moment, breathless, as I take the letter that was being crippled in my hand, and I placed it on the nightstand opposite of Donnie's side, and I gave him a final glance before turning to leave the room.

I left in silence, and not a word was spoken between each one of us.

I didn't eat or manage to sleep for the rest of the night.

No, I loved you, Leo,

I really did.

The words echoed in my mind, his face repeated in my dreams, and the ache from his own heart was reaching across the room to mine, and pulling me in.

And the years of realization hit me in the face like a ton of bricks.

The looks, the smiles, the nervous conversations.

My greed for the way he licked his lips.

I was in love with the thought of being in love with my genius of a brother.

I was in love with the sight of him, the thought of him.

I loved, Donnie just as much as he claimed to love me, but now, he hated me.

Hated me.

ᵀᵒ ᴮᵉ Cᵒⁿᵗⁱⁿᵘᵉᵈ


	11. ᴾˡᵃᶜᵉˢ ᴮᵉʸᵒⁿᵈ ᴼᵘʳ ᴸⁱᵛⁱⁿᵍ

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> " ᵂʰᵃᵗ ᴵˢ Yᵒᵘʳ ᴾᵒⁱˢᵒⁿ "   
ᴵˢ ᵇᵃˢᵉᵈ ᵘᵖᵒⁿ ᶜᵒᵐᵖˡᵉᵗᵉ ᶠⁱᶜᵗⁱᵒⁿ ᵃⁿᵈ ⁱᵈᵉᵃ'ˢ ᴴʸᵈʳᵃᵏⁱⁿᶻ, ᴴᵃˢ ᶜᵒˡˡᵉᶜᵗᵉᵈ ᵒᵛᵉʳ ᵗʰᵉ ᵖˡᵒᵗ ᵒᶠ ʰᵉʳ ᶠᵃᵛᵒʳⁱᵗᵉ ᶠᵃⁿᵈᵒᵐ ᵒᶠ ᵃˡˡ ᵗⁱᵐᵉ, ᵀᴹᴺᵀ
> 
> Book Two Out Now! 
> 
> This Story Contains #Turtlecest. 
> 
> ໓໐ຖ't likē, ໓໐ຖ't rēค໓.
> 
> After Raphael and Leonardo think that their brothers are dead from a warehouse explosion, they mourn the deaths of what remained, including the lie and betrayal of their father faking his own death to keep them safe. Raph and Leo try to move on, but more than twenty surprises hit them in the face like a ton of bricks when Donnie and Mike return to the lair after a fight for adventure. Feelings begin to bloom over the loss. And drama forms and rains over their heads like a storm.
> 
> Falling In Love With Your Own Sibling Was Never going to be easy-- but getting them to love you back was a challenge-- Only in reality-- they all loved each other just as equal. 
> 
> Read ᵂʰᵃᵗ ᴵˢ Yᵒᵘʳ ᴾᵒⁱˢᵒⁿ to find out what unfolds right before their eyes, and to be there every step of the way as these four brothers discover what true love and sacrifice truly means to have exactly what you want.

ᵂʰᵃᵗ ᴵˢ ʸᵒᵘʳ ᴾᵒⁱˢᵒⁿ  
ᶜʰᵃᵖᵗᵉʳ ˣ

ᴾˡᵃᶜᵉˢ ᴮᵉʸᵒⁿᵈ ᴼᵘʳ ᴸⁱᵛⁱⁿᵍ

{ Smut Warning }

[ Donatello ] 

A Week Later. . .

The colors passing me by were breathtaking and I couldn't calculate the reality of it all. 

It was something truly and entirely different from the worlds I thought I'd ever see, and I was possessed by the beauty in it. 

Even with the pain seeping from my body- I managed to have a smile on my face from the amazement- from the view. 

This Morning was a little complicated, and I couldn't exactly put together how we were going to another country without a single plan made, so I had to pull some strings, and some very sensitive ones to find us a plane. 

Mikey was packing very heavily and I think he was more excited than any of us were. I wasn't really all that enthused until we breached the borderline for Asia itself. 

In the car on our way to a place I knew would be secluded enough for us all to be safe and to never be bothered during our visit. The silence in the inclosed place was ripping me limb from limb, but it was more than enough to handle for now. 

Leo was in the passenger, and Raph and Mikey squeezed themselves into the back with little no difficulty- and Leo being only inches from me is the only thing that bothered me most. It made the trip difficult knowing he'd be there, and if it was left up to me, he wouldn't have come. But I couldn't just do that. 

My fingers twisted around the leather-wrapped steering wheel, and I gripped it a little tight- causing my knuckles to turn white. 

"So, where exactly are we goin' Donnie?" asked Raph, as he shuffled in his seat to get more comfortable next to our nodding off younger brother, who let out soft snores to signal he was officially asleep for the third time today- and I honestly envied the smaller turtle. The boy could sleep his life away and I wish I could do that. 

I cleared my throat and sat up a little as the road in front of me disappeared, "Well, um, We're going to the Shisendo Temple," 

"What is that?" asked Leo, causing me to tense up at the sound of his voice. I was a little surprised he even spoke to me at all. He hadn't said but a few chosen words in the past week, and I couldn't help but feel a little shameful for it. It was partially my fault, to begin with why he snapped at me. 

Or maybe, maybe it wasn't.

No, because I was speaking the truth, dammit. 

I saw Leo staring at me out of the corner of my eye, knowing he was waiting for an answer but did he really deserve one?

"It's a place I found while doing some searching about Japan's most notorious places, and the Temple for me, just seemed to fit the bill," I stopped a moment, gathering a bit more courage to speak from the hole in my stomach, "It's been abandoned for at least three years, and the only trouble heard out of it was a couple of gang members trying to use it as a base awhile back, but it's been pretty quiet as of late, so we should be good on the whole, not being found or seen thing" I explained, swallowing the pride in the air. 

"Sounds good, can't wait to see this place you and Mikey have been blabbin' on about for the last couple of days, and maybe taste the food, seems pretty legit,"

"Or pretty gross," Leo said, sticking out his tongue, "Fish is just disgusting"

"Healthy" I butted in and gave myself a small smile.

"Whatever, it smells like a dead cow," he shuffled, crossing one muscular arm over the other. 

"Well, it is dead, so, you are half right," I said, hating to admit it. 

I heard a high pitched yawn sound off through the entire car, and I looked through the rearview mirror to see Mikey waking up after I mistakenly hit a bump in the road. 

"Are we there yet?" he asked, nuzzling Raph's arm, who tried to pull away but gave up, not wanting to make a fuss out of it all and sighed. 

"No, we ain't there yet, Mikey" Raph answered, watching him with soft eyes.

"Almost," I commented, taking a left turn, causing the air in the car shift, "Just got a couple more miles left, and we'll be the official owners of our very town Temple," I said, trying to sound a little more enthused than before, but I failed even at that when Leo gave me another sideways glance, and I shrank a little in my seat, knowing he was watching me drive, speak and move at my own pace. 

"Well, at least we can say we moved up in the world," Mikey giggled, not moving from his spot as he continued to hold onto our elder brother. 

"From the sewers to an abandoned temple, Yeah, that's sure movin' up, knucklehead," Raph laughed, causing Mikey to give him a small pout.

"You know what I meant, Raphie," he said quietly and carefully elbowed him in the side, earning the same in return, "Ow, not so rough, I'm a sensitive wee, lad," and at that Raph let out a soft laugh.

I listened to them, and to my assumption, me and Leo both did, and knew what they both had, and that was chemistry that remained missing from my life, and his.

It was pulling at me like some force of nature I refused to reckon with. Things hadn't been the same since the accident as Leo called it, and it only infuriated me when he said it like that. 

It wasn't some freak accident that happened in the news, and disappeared the next day- It was something I didn't want to forget. I held it to my heart like some permanent glue on paper. 

I didn't wanna forget it all due to the fact that neither did Leo, he kept it too, and he held it there in his chest as I did, but tighter, Way tighter than I ever would. 

Yet I still was unable to forgive him. 

I couldn't. I just couldn't.

Not now, not for a while.

Not ever. 

"Where are we going when we get there?" Mikey questioned, looking out the window to his left, seeing all the sights that he was missing out on.

"We aren't going anywhere just yet- We've gotta scout this place out and make sure it's safe," Leo said, looking out his own window.

"Wasn't this supposed to be a Vacation?" I retorted, my eyes on the road, refusing to look anywhere else. 

"Yeah, I really didn't come up here to fight goons, but if push comes to shove, whatever," said Raph, resting his head on his seat.

"It is a vacation, Don," Leo said in my direction, causing me to grip the wheel again. I wanted to backhand him when he spoke to me. His voice made me so full of emotion, and anger was definitely one that I wanted to avoid. I couldn't cause a scene on our first, ever, vacation. 

We reached a spiral road and headed straight up for the tall mountains of Kisokoma. Where green colors reached for miles and never stopped moving until they remained ready to. The sight wasn't only beautiful but it reminded me of how refreshing something like this really was, and I couldn't help but to never miss home, ever again.

For a moment; I thought about living here permanently- but, I couldn't just leave my siblings. and Leave what only family I had. 

It would be a change, a massive one at that, but a good one- no, a great one.

"Woah," Mikey said, with his face pressed to the window, and eyes wide from the view, "I see the temple from here!"

I glanced up and high in the clouds, nestled in all that green was a tall temple built for a prince. I for one was a little worried, possibly like Leo was that maybe when we got here we weren't gonna be alone. 

I didn't wanna fight; I didn't wanna be reminded of who we were back home. I wanted this to be different. A whole new world even, and I couldn't wait to explore the possibilities. 

"That's where were goin'?" Raph questioned, leaning forward in between the seats to get a better look through the windshield. 

I nodded my head, shifting the gear of the car and speeding up a tad, "Yeah, that's it, so let's be on our guard for any bogeys. From what I saw, the place was safe, but just to be cautious, I wanna be careful," 

"Bad guys in a place like this? Aw, man," Mikey groaned, leaning back in his seat.

"Not once we're up there, I'm sure they'll just run off when they see us anyway" Raph grinned.

"Don't think like that, keep a leveled head. Guys in this country will pick a fight with anything, Raphael" Leo insisted, causing a growl to come from the back seat. 

"I can't wait to eat, I ate all of my cheese puffs on the way over," Mikey pouted, and with the sound of food, it made my stomach rumble.

"Yeah, speaking of food, there should be a small town not far from the mountains, maybe a mile, and getting food should be fairly easy- especially since we'll be living by the jungle, fresh fruit and veggies will be produced every day," I said, a little too proud for my knowledge.

"Wow, really? Dude, that's even better than bein' at home!" Mikey cheered, obviously very excited. 

"Shut up, Mikey- nothin' is better than being at home," Leo said, rolling his eyes, and soon we were going down a long dirt road that trailed with cherry blossom trees. 

"Wow, it's the Japanese Cherry Blossom trees I've always wanted to see, these things carry legacies that last for centuries!" I gushed, staring out the window at all the trees and falling leaves. 

"Very pink," said Raph, snubbing his snout. 

"D, this would be a great time to make the flower crowns I've always wanted to make for you guys!" Mikey said excitedly, and shaking the back of my seat, causing me to giggle unexpectedly.

"Flower crowns?" questioned Leo, and I glanced at him for once, knowing he'd see.

"Since we don't really ever get to see things like this, Mikey and I discussed at one time, when possible that we gather some flowers, or shrubs, and make some art with them. We decided that flower crowns were our best offer," I smiled, and Mikey laughed. 

"We wanna make you guys look all nice, look good, better than nice, You're gonna look feminine as shit when we get done with you," Mikey said, as Raph rolled his eyes. 

"You can keep em," he said, nudging Mikey in the shoulder and he only giggled at his reaction. 

When we pulled up at the temple, a second wasn't wasted until Mikey was barreling out of the car. I parked and shut the engine off, staring up at the temple, it reaching high in the sky but looking more ancient than I have ever seen. 

The second to get out was Raph, leaving me alone in the car with Leo. 

"You two go scout around, me and Donnie will catch up with the bags," Leo said after our two brothers. 

I sat in silence for a minute and decided that now would be a good time to give Leo a piece of my mind about assuming how bad of a place this would be. Did he honestly think I would have found a place too dangerous for us to stay or even sleep?

"You did a good job," Leo said, and I stared ahead, not expecting his words, "This place is very nice, and I'm sure it's safe enough for us to-"

"Why wouldn't it be safe? Do you think that you're the only one who Sensei trained, or even raised?" I looked right at him as I said this, and he, of course, was looking at me too, and when our eyes met, I felt sick. 

"I didn't say that- I just,"

"Then what were you saying?" I scoffed, feeling suddenly irritated, "What, cautious, worried that I wouldn't even take what little time I had to plan this trip to make sure, this place, or whatever place I found, was safe?"

"Donatello, would you stop?" Leo snapped, and I sat back, resting my arm on the window, "I didn't mean anything by it- I'm just a little homesick, I'm not very used to this, or whatever" 

"Well then, you should have thought about that before you suggested we come to Japan, especially after finding out about Dad," at that, I climbed out of the car and slammed the door, and went straight for the back to grab what bags I packed. 

Mikey was running up to the car, still excited, and seeing him made me forget about what just happened, "Everything Is clear, and we're good to move, Donnie, You need to see it! It's so rad in there, super uh, what's the word, coloristic?" he said, looking up at me, and I smiled.

"You mean, Culturistic," I laugh, holding my bag in hand, "Be sure to grab your bags, and bring them inside, Leo said he'd grab his when he's done throwing a tantrum," and as soon as the words slipped out of my mouth, Leo turned the corner of the car and glared at me while grabbing his own things and slamming the trunk. 

"Screw you, Donnie," he barked, walking away- and I only shook my head, my hand tightening around the handle of my suitcase.

"Are you guys doin' okay?" asked Raph as we made our way to the temple, taking slow steps. 

"Yeah, we're just peachy" I rolled my eyes, causing Raph to laugh,

"That bad huh?" 

I shrugged my shoulders and climbed the stairs to the front of the temple and went inside, being greeted with a large lounge room with a sofa, and a couple of chairs and an unlit fireplace. The furniture was covered in white sheets, and it was obvious that this place had been unbothered for quite some time.

Behind the lounge room, was four large open windows that showed a great view of the mountains, and a stream that led down an open river. I was happy to see a world without snow for once, and Winter was only beginning back in New York, and being out of the cold was nice. 

"Raph, Raph!" Mikey shouted, stomping through the room, "We have a pool!" 

"A Pool?" I asked, looking at him as I placed my bag on the floor. 

"What's so important about a pool, Mikey?" Raph said, with a smirk on his face, knowing how much our baby brother loved to swim. 

"Are you kidding? This is the perfect time to practice my front crawl!" He enthused, his smile widening and I just laughed. 

"Where'd Leo go?" Nudged Raph, and I looked at him and shook my head. 

"Probably looking around for bogeys, though we ruled it safe," I mentioned, "Now, I'm gonna go look for a room, hopefully, this place has beds," 

"Mikey and Me should do the same, I really hope I don't gotta bunk with him," and Mikey gasped, lifting the heavy bag he brought with him with stickers all over it.

"What's wrong with stayin' with me?" he pouted.

"You snore," Raph retorted. 

"Hah, You snore too!" Mikey snapped back, "When you snore, it feels like I'm living with a Triceraton," 

I smiled at their bickering and excused myself from the room, and headed down a long corridor, finding more large opened windows that reached from the hardwood floors to the ceilings above. 

Everything was amazing- the view, the smells, the temple, and if only I could have dropped all of my emotional baggage at the door, but it dragged behind me like a lethal shadow. 

I couldn't wrap my mind around the tension between me and Leo, and I definitely couldn't bring myself to forgive him, or even look at him without wincing at the sight of how evil he looked standing over me. 

The fury in his eyes, and the passion behind his soul, I saw right through him and saw deep into the meaning of what was truly going on with him. I never had seen it so clearly in my life. The anger, the sadness, and misery that kept him from breaking all all in one piece.

I found myself staring at the view for quite some time, listening to the exotic birds chirping from afar, and the water running down to the stream.

I was happy I brought my camera with me, and I knew I'd have some actual fun, exploring and investigating the culture of this place. For me, it was almost like a dream come true. 

The first room I entered at the end of the hall was a little huge for my taste, but the bed planted in the middle of the room made me sigh of relief. It didn't have any sheets or blankets on it. But two pillows were placed neatly at the head of the mattress. 

I assumed it was a queen size, and thankfully so because a king definitely wouldn't be big enough for me. And for a moment- I worried if my brothers were getting the same thing and if they were as happy as I was. 

I put my bag on the stool in the corner and unzipped it and neatly spread my clothes around the room and put them in the nearby drawers. I wondered for a moment how long this place had actually been abandoned, and I worried briefly if someone maybe lived here. But they couldn't. No clothing- no traces of someone being here were faint. 

I shook the doubt out of my head and finished unpacking- I sat on the edge of the bed, feeling the material on the mattress. It was soft and clean.

So white, and so clean.

I breathed in the fresh air, and checked the time on my watch, dating back to the USA, and it was only eight in the morning over in NYC, I switched again and realized how late it actually was here when it barely looked dark outside. 

It was ten-twenty-two at night apparently and I was a little shook from how many hours ahead we actually were, and we were traveling for almost an entire day to just make it here. We were lucky to not have any trouble, to begin with. 

The plane was easy- so was the car, but the hard part about it now was being seen in a different country that we had no knowledge of period. 

The possibilities of the government hearing about us would be world dominating and I didn't feel like dealing with another Bebop and Rocksteady- They were fortunately for us, long gone down the line of being someone else's guinea pigs. 

After I changed into some shorts, I went back into the lounge room, where I removed the sheets from the furniture and figured that these would come in handy for some blankets. And luckily there were more than enough for everyone. 

I folded two in my arms and placed them on the table in the middle of the room. 

My watch was suddenly chirping and admitting sound around the room, and I looked at what was going on, and unexpectedly I saw April's name pop up on my diagram. 

Mikey jumped down the staircase right as I answered. 

"Hey April, everything okay?" I asked a little alarmed by her sudden rang of call. 

"April?" Mikey said, eyes widening "April is on the phone?" he said excitedly-

"Donnie? Casey and I just got back to New York, and I've discovered an empty Lab," she said, her soft voice turning in my earpiece.

"Yeah, uh, about that-" 

"Where are you guys?" she asked a little surprised but obviously happy with her return. 

"We're uh,"

"Hi, April!" Mikey shouted next to me and tugging on my arm to get a word in, and April chuckled.

"We're in Japan," I said, hoping she doesn't worry too much.

"What? You're in Japan?" she said, voice full of curiosity- "Why?"

"Well, we went on a little Vacation, You didn't say anything about being back today- So, we made plans a little late, and decided to leave for a while," I explained, a little sluggish, but clear enough.

"Wow, Well, When do you guys think you'll be back?" she asked, sounding a little disappointed. 

"Um, I'm not sure, depends on how long Leo can handle being away from home," I rolled my eyes, and I saw Mikey look at me a little sad at the word of our Leader. 

"That's sounds good, Hey- look, I'm really sorry for not letting you guys know when we'd be back- Things got a little complicated with the connection in Rio, and the time just got away from us," she apologized, and for once, I felt obligated to accept someone's apology and needed to hear from a friend, nor foe.

"It's fine, how was it over there? I heard the fruity drinks are out of this world," I smiled, wandering into the kitchen as Mikey followed, and sat on the counter next to the sink. 

April laughed, and agreed, "Yes, they definitely were, when you guys get back- there is something that Casey and I have to tell you, or all of you, not sure how you're gonna take it though,"

I frowned a bit, not ready for another inch of bad news, "Oh, well, is it bad or good?"

"Um, well, we think it's good, but you guys might think it's bad," she replied, and I stood silently while leaning on the counter next to Mikey as he swung his legs on the edge and listened to the conversation patiently-

I looked down at him, and he gave me a wondering eye and mouthed, What.

I shook my head, "Well, can you tell me now?" 

She sighed, "I kind of wanted to wait until you guys were back in Manhattan, It's why I came to the lair in the first place, but if you wanna know that badly- Um, I and Casey have decided to move out of New York and go someplace local,"

I was baffled for a minute, but I couldn't be unsupportive, I couldn't say no, don't go, or leave. April was married now and had her own life to live, she and Casey were happy and I couldn't ruin that because of four reptiles missing her. 

"Don?" she said, getting my attention again.

I blinked and cleared my throat, "Oh, um, wow, that's pretty big- I'm really happy for you guys,"

"You don't sound all that happy- I'm sorry- It's just, we wanna fresh start, we were thinking about jersey being the perfect place,"

"New Jersey?" I asked, and I could practically hear her smile through the call.

"Yeah, we found a beautiful house near the shore, and we decided to take it right away before the opportunity gets passed us," she said, sharing her excitement. 

"Well, As I said, I'm really happy for you, April- You and Casey- I'm sure life will be easier out there," I said, trying my best to sound happy for her, but my heart was breaking all at the same time, because I knew, when she moved, we'd never see her again.

I squinted my eyes and glanced down, hearing shuffling on the other end of the call, "Yeah, Hey- I've gotta go okay? I'm unpacking right now, and I need to shower after my flight- It was so exhausting- Please give my love and thanks to the rest of the boys," she said, rushing to get off the phone. 

I looked at Mikey again before I said goodbye, and ended the call. 

"What is it?" Mikey asked, voice a little hushed.

I shook my head, not being able to find the words to say it, "Raph, Leo, can you guys come in here?" I yell, and moments later, Leo appeared with Raph right in behind him, 

"What's up?" Raph asked, twisting the knobs on the sink and water shot out of the faucet, giving him access to fill a glass for a drink.

Leo just stared at me, looking in between me and Mikey waiting for my answer. 

"April called," Mikey said, answering for me. 

"April?" Leo asked, and Mikey and I nodded our heads in sync. 

"What'd she say? Her and loverboy back from their honeymoon or whatever," Raph muttered, taking a long drink from his glass.

"Yeah, they're back, but um, she gave me some pretty bad news," I said, twisting the tassel hanging down from my mask. 

"What bad news, Donnie?" said Leo, perking me up to speed at the sound of his voice again.

"Well, She said that her and Casey were moving out of Manhattan,"

"What?" Mikey snapped, "Moving out? Like, out of New York?"

I nodded my head and braced my hands on the counter behind me, "Said that they found a place in New Jersey and are moving in right away- she wanted to wait and tell us till we were back, because she came to the lair, found that we weren't there, so that's why she called me and said all that,"

"Is it permanent?" Raph questioned, and I looked directly at him and shrugged.

"Sounded like it was, they are married after all," 

Raph growled, "I knew as soon as that kid started datin' her, he'd take her away from us, from her family" 

"They are together, Raph, it's nothing we can do, nothing but sit, and wonder what to do next," Leo said, not taking his eyes off me, probably wondering what I'm gonna say next. 

"This sucks, and really bad man," Mikey complained, "What're we meant to do without her around?"

"What we always did, Mikey" Raph interrupted, crossing the room to exit, "Fend for ourselves, we have for months now, so what difference is it gonna make with her gone?" he grumbled, leaving the room. 

Mike sighed and hopped off the counter, "I'm gonna go out for a bit,"

"No, you're not," Leo said, "We don't know what this place has to offer, and we will not be spreading out as we do in New York, it isn't some playground,"

Mikey huffed loudly and stubbornly "Dude, You're no fun," he said, leaving me and Leo alone.

Again.

Leo and I shared a stare for a moment and I made the first move to follow behind Mikey but with a quick reflex, Leo grabbed me by the arm, and I flenched, glaring at him.

Not again.

"L-Let go, Leo" I stammered, trying to pull my arm away but he gripped it tight enough to cause me to wince.

"You're not still scared are you?" He muttered, looking at my face, at my reaction.

I stared back for a moment, tugging my arm away again, but found no luck as my body remained sore of this emotional game. 

"Um," I shook my head, "Scared of what? You?" I laughed nervously- "Please," 

He narrowed those blue eyes at me, "So, No?" he asked quietly and I shook my head.

"No, Now let go!" I said as my voice rose a little high. 

He huffed, as hot air hit me in the face, "Fine,"

My cheeks flushed, and his hand slid off my forearm, and I took a step back, leaving as fast I could, and going straight for my room. 

As soon as I got to my room, I slammed the door, and held myself against it, as my heart hammered in my chest. 

"Jesus," I rubbed my eyes, almost panicking at the missing place on my face again. I had to remind myself that my glasses were gone, and coming to my surprise that I even drove us here. 

Leo was toying with me.

I wished he'd just stop and leave me be, leave me alone to suffer in peace.

He wasn't going to stop, because he was a persistent person. 

He got what he wanted if he tried hard enough for it, and all that and how intimidating he appeared to be made my stomach twist in ways that I had never imagined were real.

I slid off my door and crawled into bed, removing whatever gear would get in my way and I lied flat on my stomach, hugging at the soft pillow beneath me. It was more relieving than I thought it would be, and within minutes, I drifted off to sleep, being greeted by my usual dreams again. One's mostly bad- but one always being good. 

The one dream, I admired most. One that got taken away too soon, far too quickly and I longed for it- The happiness surrounded me like clouds of fairy dust.

But to have it taken away- Only made me reach out and wake up in a breaking sweat. 

I rose up, being on my back now, and I sighed, letting my head fall back on the surface of the mattress as my pillow mysteriously ended up on the floor. 

I sat up and climbed out of my bed while removing the bandanna around my face, and going straight into the bathroom where was only a door away from me. The lighting in the temple worked just enough for me to quickly splash water on my face, and rub the sleep out of my aching eyes. 

When I looked in the outstretched mirror, I heard a faint noise that sounded like my door clicking open then shut, but I figured I was still half asleep, so I splashed some more water on my face and sighed when the cold water stung at my skin, making me feel a little more refreshed. 

I padded back into the bedroom, where I went back to bed and searched around in my bag for my toothbrush. 

"I thought maybe you'd want a blanket," said Leo, and everything in my hands dropped to the floor, and a small squeak escaped my lips. 

"Leo!" I shouted and he looked at me a little taken back as if he didn't just scare me. 

"What?" He held the blanket up, revealing it to me.

"You scared me, What're you-" I sigh, and snatch the blanket from him and move over to the bed, where I place it and pick up my toothbrush from the floor.

"Raph keeps tellin' me Mikey is losing his touch, and to me, it looks like you are too," he said, a little too huskily for me to handle, and I felt a chill go down my spine. 

"What're you on about now?" I said, turning around to face him, and he was there, broad shoulders and all, and staring right at me with those bright blue eyes, that made me melt from head to toe.

What? No, what was he- what is happening now? 

I'm supposed to be hating him, not- thinking of him like this, or letting him get to me. Not like this, not in a dimly lit room, where we found ourselves, alone.

All alone. 

Leo took a step forward, "You're losin' your touch, Don," he whispered, eyes not leaving mine. 

"Leo, I-" I shook my head, "Yeah, I-I kind of am, now can you go," 

He looked at me, and simply said, "No, I think you need some training" 

God, what is he doing- this can't be happening- 

"Right now?" I gulped, feeling the sweat on the back of my neck return. 

He nodded his head, "Yeah, right now," he stepped closer, moving slowly and shallowly- being only inches from me now, I felt my heart pounding in my chest again. 

And below all the muscles, nerves and bones, it was breaking again, and again.

"Leo," I started, but he raised his head, those eyes piercing my heartstrings. 

"I haven't stopped thinking about what you told me, You know?" he said, as the heat in my body began to raise.

"Uh," I swallowed, "What bit? We've s-said a lot to one another the p-past few days,"

He shook his head, and reached for my hand, rubbing his thumb along the surface, and the color on my cheeks only deepened. 

I couldn't move, I wanted to punch him, slap him, shove him away and run. I was frozen in place, frozen as steel and he was breaking me, again.

"If you think about it, I think you'll figure it out, Donnie," he finally answered, Giving me a small grin, and my stomach sank, "You're a smart, turtle" 

"O-Oh," was all I could manage, and he sighed, closing the space in between us, and let our noses brush as he pressed our plastrons together, chest against chest. I was in awe. 

"I want you, Donnie," he whispered, as tears sprang in the corners of my eyes.

Wake up, Donnie, Wake the fuck, Up!

I was screaming inside my head. This wasn't happening- No. 

But I wanted it to be, I wanted it to be real. I longed for it.

I longed for him.

"Leo," I breathed, and at that, he connected our lips, mashing them together in locked sync. 

An explosion bloomed inside of me and set off like fireworks. 

Our kiss turned passionate, rough and needy- needing more than it longed to be. His hands curled around my throat, bringing me in closer, tighter. I moaned into the kiss, feeling my deepest darkest desires let loose and pour out onto the floor at my feet. 

Leo churred at my demise and dug his fingers into the back of my neck. I opened my eyes, staring into his, as an endless amount of breathless gasps of air overtook the aura around us. 

I nodded my head, wanting more than I got as I grabbed him by his face and pulled him in again, and molding our lips together, as Leo's prodded my mouth with his tongue, erupting another moan from my throat. 

He shoved me back as his hands dipped behind my thighs, and slid into the legs of my shorts and lifted me up, and threw me on the bed, with not even a second of instinct, he crawled over me and was digging at the buttons on my shorts.

"L-Leo, that-" I sighed, hearing my buttons pop open, "I'm not," I stopped again, another moan escaping my body- being totally flushed, and worrying briefly if anyone heard me or not.

"Want them off," he growled, ripping at the fabric, and sure enough, there was a tear, and he gripped the hem of my shorts tightly and gave them a hard yank, and they came off, leaving me sprawled out on the bed, beneath him, completely naked.

He attacked my neck, and I pulled at the tassels on his mask, and soon the navy blue piece of fabric came loose and fell onto my chest. His kisses turned into licking and biting and God, nibbling-

I could already feel myself dropping down, and I couldn't help but get redder, this was completely embarrassing- but I craved it, this, I wanted him, I fucking needed him. 

Before I knew it, Leo flipped me over on my plastron and forced my behind in the air. 

God, this was- It couldn't be real, could it?

"Fuck, Donnie, you look so beautiful like this," he huffed while tracing his fingers down the back of my thighs, as I feel my tail wiggle and break free. 

Oh, no,

I pushed myself back, needy and wanting for whatever was to come. 

"Leo, please," I breathed, gripping the only pillow on the bed. 

Leo's fingers were at my taint, moving and prodding deep between my legs, and I churred at his touch, my moans, even more, needy than me wanting the actual thing-

My tail wiggled again, and I felt Leo grab it, causing me to cry out, as he stroked along the base, as the pleasure shot up my entire body and I quivered.

"Someone likes being touched here, doesn't he?" Leo whispered, kissing the lower half of my carapace. 

I nodded frantically- pushing my forehead into the pillow, as my cock sways between my legs, leaking-

"God, Leo," I churred, pushing my ass towards him, needing more.

I felt him sit up, and my tail ached at the lack of attention. The bed sunk down as he moved to his knees, and unfastened his own pants, and losing the zipper in the process. 

"What do you want, Donnie?" he huffed, hands running over my hips, and fingers digging into my skin. 

I couldn't believe he was asking me this and at a time like this. 

I sighed heavily- my heart still hammering in my chest, my cock throbbing at the thought, "I want- uh, I want you, Leo, want you, always have,"

My body was on fire at the loss of my words. I said it- I actually said it. 

Leo leaned over me, lowering himself on my back, and putting his weight on me, causing me to groan again. I felt something hard pushing at my most intimate parts, and soon, it was breached with force, as Leo's cock replaces my insides.

"O-Oh," I almost gasp, as my mouth goes completely dry as Leo positions himself in the most sincere mating angle. 

"F-Fuck, Don," Leo cursed, voice sounding strained, "You're really- God, tight!" 

I couldn't speak, and Leo's dirty words spewing from his mouth only edged me on further. There was a burning in my lower region, and the amount of pain coming from there was almost unbearable, but it's exactly what I needed. 

"M-Move," I groaned, and Leo didn't need me to ask twice, he started to move, hips coming in contact with my breached hole. He was being gentle, he felt my pain, and the smell from his sex only made me beg internally to never let this night end. 

Leo began to chur behind me, his groans soft and sweet but them being the best noise I had ever heard. It made my cock throb, and with that, I wrapped my hand around it, giving it the attention it was dying for. 

The burning inside my body was fading and our bodies danced in a way that could never be repeated, and Leo was moving faster, thrusts quickening and hips snapping up to meet at my frame. 

"Donnie," he churred while gasping for air, "Don, fuck," and I moaned in return, letting my head fall forward and arms go limp as Leo pushed his whole weight on me. 

It was comforting and something I didn't want to be taken away from me- If this was to be a dream, then I'd want you to kill me after I woke up, kill me dead, I wanted this, God, I could scream it from the mountain tops. 

Leo was hot behind me, breath quickening as he shoved himself inside of me, and getting much harder with his thrusts as I rocked my hips back towards his own. 

I was getting closer, and all I needed was more, I needed the familiar burn. 

"Oh, God, Leo, I can't-" I whined, as my hand feverishly began to stroke along my cock, "I can't last, ah, L-Leonardo!"

Leo pushed hard on my shell, weighing me down as the heaviness overtook me and shook me to my core. Leo angled himself differently and slammed directly into my body- using it, and abusing it, and he hit something deep inside of me that caused me to scream.

My muscles locked and My feverish strokes on my cock came to a stop, as a jet stream of cum covered the bed beneath me, and my hand. 

Leo churred at the sight beneath him, and rammed into me, milking his own member until he was spilling inside of me, causing my body to tense up one final time as that familiar burn, returned.

"Shit, Donnie," he panted, as I barely heard him. My vision became wobbly and I closed my eyes briefly to regain some sort of focus, but it was no use. 

I found myself drifting off again, and pouring myself into sleep like I thirsted for it. 

I silently and subconsciously begged for this moment to never end, but- not everything lasts forever.

Not even if it's fake. 

Not even if you cried for it. 

Please, don't let it end.

ᵀᵒ ᴮᵉ Cᵒⁿᵗⁱⁿᵘᵉᵈ


	12. ᴿᵃⁱⁿ ᴬⁿᵈ Sᵘⁿᶠˡᵒʷᵉʳˢ

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> " ᵂʰᵃᵗ ᴵˢ Yᵒᵘʳ ᴾᵒⁱˢᵒⁿ "   
ᴵˢ ᵇᵃˢᵉᵈ ᵘᵖᵒⁿ ᶜᵒᵐᵖˡᵉᵗᵉ ᶠⁱᶜᵗⁱᵒⁿ ᵃⁿᵈ ⁱᵈᵉᵃ'ˢ ᴴʸᵈʳᵃᵏⁱⁿᶻ, ᴴᵃˢ ᶜᵒˡˡᵉᶜᵗᵉᵈ ᵒᵛᵉʳ ᵗʰᵉ ᵖˡᵒᵗ ᵒᶠ ʰᵉʳ ᶠᵃᵛᵒʳⁱᵗᵉ ᶠᵃⁿᵈᵒᵐ ᵒᶠ ᵃˡˡ ᵗⁱᵐᵉ, ᵀᴹᴺᵀ
> 
> Book Two Out Now! 
> 
> This Story Contains #Turtlecest. 
> 
> ໓໐ຖ't likē, ໓໐ຖ't rēค໓.
> 
> After Raphael and Leonardo think that their brothers are dead from a warehouse explosion, they mourn the deaths of what remained, including the lie and betrayal of their father faking his own death to keep them safe. Raph and Leo try to move on, but more than twenty surprises hit them in the face like a ton of bricks when Donnie and Mike return to the lair after a fight for adventure. Feelings begin to bloom over the loss. And drama forms and rains over their heads like a storm.
> 
> Falling In Love With Your Own Sibling Was Never going to be easy-- but getting them to love you back was a challenge-- Only in reality-- they all loved each other just as equal. 
> 
> Read ᵂʰᵃᵗ ᴵˢ Yᵒᵘʳ ᴾᵒⁱˢᵒⁿ to find out what unfolds right before their eyes, and to be there every step of the way as these four brothers discover what true love and sacrifice truly means to have exactly what you want.

ᵂʰᵃᵗ ᴵˢ ʸᵒᵘʳ ᴾᵒⁱˢᵒⁿ

ᶜʰᵃᵖᵗᵉʳ ˣᴵ

ᴿᵃⁱⁿ ᴬⁿᵈ ˢᵘⁿᶠˡᵒʷᵉʳˢ

[ Michelangelo ]

Have You Ever Wanted Something so bad, You'd kill for it?

No?

Well, I have.

Or maybe I, myself have died already to have him.

The air was crisp, everything was falling around me, and the sun, it was so warm, so close, so real that I felt as if I could just reach out, and touch it with the very tips of my fingers.

I glanced over my shoulder as my toes dug into the green grass as I ran, and smiled at the sight. My eyes shining with glee as Raph was there, catching up with me.

The world was moving slow- gifting me the moment of peace, the moment to last forever.

Don't let it end, let this, end.

Seeing him, seeing what he gave me, what he made me feel, I decided against it a million times at least. But it was a feeling that made me feel more than just your average turtle, than a regularly mutated terapin lingering in the world, unknown, to only keep to the shadows. To keep to themselves.

It made me feel human.

I giggled, leaning up on my tiptoes, trying to reach for an apple dangling from its sprout. Not long ago, I stumbled away from our beloved temple and discovered a garden patch as Donnie called it, and found fruit and vegetable galore.

Out here, I felt like I could be free, and climb wherever, run how far, and never have to worry about the noises, and sounds I made. It was my own personal heaven.

"Maybe ya need some steroids in your diet, Mike," Raph snickered, snatching the apple from my reach and dangled it in front of my face, before placing it neatly in the basket at my feet.

"Maybe you just need to be shorter so you'll know what it's like," I said, sticking my tongue out.

"Nah, I think I'm fine where I'm at, thanks for the offer though," Raph retorted while giving me a firm slap on the back. I rolled my eyes in protest as I watched Raph pick up the basket and carry it down the trail we set ahead.

I tagged along behind him and made my presence known at his side, Glancing up at him every once in a while. It seemed like since we arrived in Japan, things have been going a little smoother. The tension in the air disappeared, and I no longer had all that weight on my shoulders from the Letter.

"You're pretty quiet today," Raph said, interrupting my thoughts.

I looked up at him, and shrugged, "Yeah, just thinkin',"

"About?" he asked as we reached a stream of water.

I picked up a stone, and chucked it into the water and watched as it skipped along the small waves, thinking of what I could tell Raph to not ruin anything or maybe creep him out. He was right. I was being a lot quieter than usual.

I found myself not having much to say here lately- except for maybe what was heard last night.

I wonder if Raph heard it too.

"Last night," I finally answered, picking up another stone as Raph washed the fruit in the clear water seeping from the waterfall a couple of miles behind us.

He paused for a moment and then continued, "What about last night?"

How was I supposed to answer that?

"Uh, well, the noises. Did you hear all the noises?"

He shrugged, "I think so, didn't get to hear too much, "

"It was Leo, and Don," I said, making Raph stare up at me as I nervously fiddled around with the rock in my hand.

"What about em'?" he asked, standing to his feet, looking right at me, "What'd you hear?"

I sighed, "I don't know what I heard, okay?- It just sounded like a lot was going on,"

"How much is a lot, Mikey?"

"A great deal of it, I know that,"

Raph shook his head and grinned a bit while going back to cleaning off the fruit he plans to bring back to the temple.

"What?" I asked, stepping forward.

He shook his head, his grin widening "Nothin' Mikey, nothin' at all"

"No," I whine, "Tell me!" I then nudge his shoulder, and he lets out a small laugh, as my cheeks began to get red.

"Maybe they were uh, messin' around," he says looking at me briefly before turning his attention back to those silly fruits.

"Messing around, what- you mean?" and Raph laughs, nodding his head, "No, that can't- I mean, Donnie has mentioned his speculations for Leo, but that- they wouldn't do that, would they?"

Raph stood up, after finishing the last apple in the basket and handed it over to me, probably to distract me.

"Well, he does, how do I say it?" he questioned to himself, and I stood there, staring at him, waiting impatiently- so impatiently that I was pinching the grass with my toes, "Don, is really- well, he's really into, Leo, like really into him,"

"What?" I said, letting the words roll off my tongue before I could even think, "How long have you known?"

He huffed, avoiding my eyes, "Since that night- at dinner, when we got into that big fuss about, Splinter,"

"And you didn't tell me?" I stubbornly asked, my fingers gripping the edges of the basket.

He finally met my eyes, and I felt my face getting more heated, "I didn't think it was all that important. First, we were talking about yo-" he stopped, clamping his mouth shut.

"Me?" I said quietly and stared up at him, things only getting worse, "Why were you talking about me. What about me?"

Raphael shook his head and walked off down the stream, and I chased after him, trying not to drop any apples in the process.

"We've gotta look for bananas now," he said, obviously avoiding the question.

"Raph!" I stopped, "Why the shell was you talking about me?"

"It was nothin', Mikey!" He snapped, staring down at me now with cold eyes, and I backed away- only curious to know, and he sighed, noticing my reaction, "We were just talking about-" he paused again, not quite knowing how to get it out, "We were talking about my anger, my feelings towards the loss of Splinter, now though that's pointless, and we were talking about just- my feelings towards you, and his with Leo,"

"Feelings towards me?" I whispered, not sure he heard me, "What about feelings towards me?"

"Can we just drop it- I came out here to get stupid fruit, for our stupid temple, so I can shove it straight in your stupid, annoying little, mouth!" he barked, storming off, leaving me there alone.

"Love you too," I muttered mockingly and sighed, carrying the basket back up the trail, figuring that Raph needed a moment to cool off or whatever.

My feelings towards you.

I sighed again, hearing those words repeat in my head. I wondered if Raph was talking about those type of feelings for me, and I had hoped and continued to hope for the rest of the day that that's exactly what he meant.

When I got back to the temple, Donnie was in the kitchen, chopping some type of red and green things that made my snout burn just from the smell. I hoisted the basket up on the counter, and with a huff, I planted myself next to the sink on the counter, eyeing Don, as if he didn't even notice me come in.

"Earth to Donnie," I waved my hand next to him, and he snapped his head in my direction, and his expression relaxed when he saw me.

"Oh, Mikey- It's you, Sorry was just um, thinking about things," he said, a little baffled by my apparently unknown entrance.

"You didn't hear me come in?" I questioned, taking an apple from the basket, hoping that I don't get told off for it, and with that, I took a bite.

Donnie shook his head, gesturing to me with a no, he didn't and continued to chop up those weird lookin' things, I can't quite put my finger on.

"What're you so uptight about, and what're those things?" I finally asked, while taking another bite, and chewing the rest.

"I-I'm not, and peppers, bell peppers," he answered, moving swiftly with the kitchen knife, and tossing the remains into a blue colored bowl, to only remind me of someone.

"Where's Leo at?"

He stopped, looking at me for only a second then going back to the dicing and slicing of those weird looking things.

Bell Peppers.

"He went out this morning before anyone got up. Left me a note, saying he was going to look for something and that he'd be back later this afternoon," Don finally answered, tossing the rest of the cut-up peppers into the bowl, and clearing the counter as he went over to the stove.

I questioned Donnie's lack of truth here. Something was up with him, and his words didn't ring me as truthful. I knew that he was hiding something- something a little too personal to be spoken about.

Yet.

"Did he say what he was lookin' for?" I asked, then taking a bite of my apple again, finishing one side, almost forgetting it was even in my hand for a moment.

I noticed Don's small shrug "He didn't say- and I didn't bother wondering about it because, with Leo, he's full of secrets," he answered, with a little bitterness to his voice.

I hopped down from the counter and wondered to his side, listening to the sizzle of the pan in Don's hand. He moved around the peppers with a wooden spoon as they cooked.

I debated on whether to push further, but I didn't wanna make matters worse. I knew when to stop, and when to keep going when it was needed.

But it made me think about what Raph had said, and he said it when he was talking to Donnie, and maybe, maybe I could get some answers out of my genius brother. With little skill and lack of conversation, I had to pull somethin' out of him.

Here goes nothing-

"Hey uh, Don," I cleared my throat, making sure I had his attention, "Can I ask you a question?"

"You've been asking me questions since you entered the room, what one do you possibly have now, Mikey?" he said, looking down at me with a straight face.

I frowned a little, "Well, this is the last one, I swear,"

He nodded his head, "I'll hold you to that. What is it?" he asked, turning his attention back to the pan, while a smell from the cooking filled the room, and caused my stomach to growl.

"Uh, well, when I and Raph went to get those apples, we ended up by the stream, and he mentioned what you two spoke about a couple of nights ago,"

I felt Donnie tense, "Mmhm?"

"He said something about his feelings towards me- and he wouldn't tell me what he meant by that- what he was even talking about- and I was just wondering if you could tell me?"

"I dunno," he answered, causing a wave of disappointment to rush through me, "If Raph didn't want to tell you, then why should I?"

"Aw, Come on, D, tell me!" he whined, pulling on his arm.

"I'm sorry, Mikey- but it'd be better if you let him tell you,"

I thought a moment if it's because they thought I couldn't handle it- or even wouldn't understand it.

Maybe Raph hated my guts, and they were just talking about how he'd never wanna be near me again from how much I annoy him. That couldn't be it, could it?

"Is it bad?" I asked without thinking- and Donnie looked right at me with a small sigh.

"Not necessarily- it'd be bad if you didn't feel the same about him," and my cheeks flushed again, having hope in what he meant.

Was it true?

I hadn't forgotten the kissing- the dreams, and how his meaty hands ravished my body once they got themselves on me.

At this point- I was pretty obsessed with him in an unknowingly embarrassing way-

I couldn't help it. I wanted him, and the hope of him wanting me only lingered in the air like the scent of the food cooking right in front of me.

"Okay," was all I said, before exiting the kitchen, having silence follow me, along with whatever secret Donnie was keeping from me and the way he tensed up when I spoke about that night between him and Raph.

It was slowly all coming clear.

Sort of.

I'd get my answers, one way- or another.

From my whole family- because I was sick and tired of being treated like a child.

I had to know, and eventually- Raph would be mine.

But wait,

What was I even saying-

I laughed silently as I entered my room, and slumped over on my bed, big enough to hold three turtles my size.

He was already mine.

ᵀᵒ ᴮᵉ Cᵒⁿᵗⁱⁿᵘᵉᵈ


	13. ᵂʰᵃᵗ'ˢ ᵂʳᵒⁿᵍ ᵂⁱᵗʰ ᴬ ᴸⁱᵗᵗˡᵉ ᴿᵉᵈ

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> " ᵂʰᵃᵗ ᴵˢ Yᵒᵘʳ ᴾᵒⁱˢᵒⁿ "   
ᴵˢ ᵇᵃˢᵉᵈ ᵘᵖᵒⁿ ᶜᵒᵐᵖˡᵉᵗᵉ ᶠⁱᶜᵗⁱᵒⁿ ᵃⁿᵈ ⁱᵈᵉᵃ'ˢ ᴴʸᵈʳᵃᵏⁱⁿᶻ, ᴴᵃˢ ᶜᵒˡˡᵉᶜᵗᵉᵈ ᵒᵛᵉʳ ᵗʰᵉ ᵖˡᵒᵗ ᵒᶠ ʰᵉʳ ᶠᵃᵛᵒʳⁱᵗᵉ ᶠᵃⁿᵈᵒᵐ ᵒᶠ ᵃˡˡ ᵗⁱᵐᵉ, ᵀᴹᴺᵀ
> 
> Book Two Out Now! 
> 
> This Story Contains #Turtlecest. 
> 
> ໓໐ຖ't likē, ໓໐ຖ't rēค໓.
> 
> After Raphael and Leonardo think that their brothers are dead from a warehouse explosion, they mourn the deaths of what remained, including the lie and betrayal of their father faking his own death to keep them safe. Raph and Leo try to move on, but more than twenty surprises hit them in the face like a ton of bricks when Donnie and Mike return to the lair after a fight for adventure. Feelings begin to bloom over the loss. And drama forms and rains over their heads like a storm.
> 
> Falling In Love With Your Own Sibling Was Never going to be easy-- but getting them to love you back was a challenge-- Only in reality-- they all loved each other just as equal. 
> 
> Read ᵂʰᵃᵗ ᴵˢ Yᵒᵘʳ ᴾᵒⁱˢᵒⁿ to find out what unfolds right before their eyes, and to be there every step of the way as these four brothers discover what true love and sacrifice truly means to have exactly what you want.

ᵂʰᵃᵗ ᴵˢ Yᵒᵘʳ ᴾᵒⁱˢᵒⁿ

Cʰᵃᵖᵗᵉʳ ˣᴵᴵ

ᵂʰᵃᵗ'ˢ ᵂʳᵒⁿᵍ ᵂⁱᵗʰ ᴬ ᴸⁱᵗᵗˡᵉ ᴿᵉᵈ

{ Graphical Warning }

[ Raphael ]

Mikey's damn face again, his damned face and that damned look he gave me every single time he'd try and catch me lyin' and those stupid little eyes of his.

So blue, menacing and mysterious.

I hadn't even realized how far I actually went until I heard gunshots going off in the distance. I wasn't that far from the temple, and gunshots weren't really a good sign of safe living-

I traveled deeper into the jungle, listening with an outstretched ear, as the shots that were being fired off were getting louder and louder the closer I got. 

I jumped up into a tall tree, with the hope that it could support my weight and I looked out, scouting the area, and with what little I saw, I could see a two-story village nestled in this mess of nature. 

I could hear a bit of shouting and without a second decision, I chose to take a closer look. But not too close. Just a little.

What was I even thinkin'- I just wanted some sort of excuse to bump heads with a bunch of goons from another country- and someone who didn't speak English was something I definitely didn't need. So, I had to take this- or whatever this was, slow.

I took a deep breath, and launched myself back to the ground below, and ran ahead, being as quiet as I possibly could. Though being a pretty big guy- that wasn't exactly the easiest thing to pull off. But with what talents I had, I managed to move closer to the mysterious village with effortless movements. 

I crouched in behind a stone fence, and peaked over, almost forgetting to remind myself that I am in broad daylight and this was a mission, I couldn't just half-ass and run back home to tell the guys about it. I had to be careful. 

But then again, I wasn't really up for careful- I was in the mood for some loud n' proud type shit and I needed to see some sort of action. Stayin' hidden away as we do at home is only repeatin' itself here, and I had to at least explore.

It was a whole other world, after all. 

I saw a man dressed all in black exit a room from the top deck, and he held an assault rifle ready to fire, with his hands, and fingers on the trigger. A moment later, another man followed him, wearing the same get-up but without such a heavy gun. 

I only assumed these men must have at least been in the Military or in some secret Militia. 

They were whispering and mumbling words I couldn't understand to one another, and I shook my head and moved along the fence, not to be seen, or heard of until I got around to the back, where I saw cages, and small windows built with metal bars rising from top to bottom. 

My eyes only began to widen when I saw children in the cages, and others with women. Some were lying there, lifeless, others crying or holding one another in a hope of possible savior or survival.

"What the shell?" I muttered, moving along the wall again to get a better look until I heard the cock of a gun along with the barrel being shoved into the back of my head. 

"Get up," a shallow voice said. 

A Man.

I bit at my lip and huffed loudly at my own disappointment of getting caught. 

"Look- I wasn't-" I started.

"Shut up!" He shouted from behind me, popping the base of my skull with the pistol. 

I growled at the barely noticeable pain in the back of my head now, and I slowly stood up, obeying the stranger's orders, and with an instinct, I held my hands up, showing the man I wasn't going to try anything-

Yet. 

"Turn around!" he demanded, shouting again, obviously a little shakey with the gun in his hand.

Oh, this was gonna be easy-

Continuing to hold my hands up, I slowly turned to face the man who I now knew to be a young boy- He was at least twenty- if that. 

The tremor in his guarded hand worsened when he saw what I truly looked like, and sometimes, the fear I put in people only made me smile. It amused me with what curiosity they must have by the point of seeing the look in my eye.

"Anata wa nanimonodesu ka?" He said, voice cracking as fear struck him.

"What?" I asked, stepping forward and he continued to point the gun at me, not knowing where exactly to point, he held the gun at my torso.

"D-Don't move a-another step, freak!" he spat, handshaking still, and his accent only thickening and by the look of it, the kid was definitely from these regions. And for a moment I hoped that there were more people around here that knew English as well as he did.

"Jesus, does anybody know what a fuckin' turtle looks like?" I rolled my eyes, moving quickly, I landed a swift kick up across his head and knocked him out cold. 

He fell to the ground with a small thud, and let go of the gun in his hand. 

"It didn't have to be that way" I shook my head, and turned around again, to see at least five other men dressed all the same with their faces covered, and guns pointing right at me.

"Ima, chijō de!" one of them shouted and ran forward to surround me, as they aimed their firearms at me, actually knowing where to point this time. 

"You've gotta be kiddin' me," I muttered, looking around me as there was no way out of this one. There was no way of not getting shot and killed right here, right now.

I growled when the one who shouted, hit me in the back of the head, only making the previous amount of pain return. Then another blow came, and I tumbled to the ground, landing on my hands and knees. 

"Jimen ni todomari," the one on the right yelled, giving my head another blow, and this time things were getting a little fuzzy- "Ugokanaide!" was the last thing I heard before another hit was sent straight to the back of my skull.

Things went black, and things floated back to that night. 

That night.

Mikey's adorable face was the only thing in my mind.

His brightly colored pupils saw right through every dirty secret I ever held. He was smart but acted dumb, and that was something only I- could see. Not even Leo could see such things, and he was the most observant of us all.

The images were warm, and held powerful feelings and lit flames deep within my core.

I hated and loved Mikey all the same, and even now, I wished he was here. I wished I hadn't walked away and I wished I had the gut to tell him what I was talking about with Donnie, that very night.

Why can't I have the nerve to just tell him?

Though I despised my father, I wished he was here. He lied to us, to me, too fuckin' Mikey and I hated him for it. When Mikey cried over the Letter, it only pissed me off further. 

He took advantage of his mind, and tried to use him to keep a secret from his own sons- and I couldn't configure the truth behind it all. What was he hiding? Where was he goin' and did his travels have to do with his original owner?

He spoke highly of Hamato Yoshi like he was some, God. He spoke the same way about, April, up until the point of us actually meeting her. And now, everything was completely different. And to think I was going to hurt or possibly kill her that night changed our whole lives.

I heard an annoying buzzing in the distance and realized it wasn't actually that far. It was right in my ears. My head was pounding and when I began to wake up, I heard shrieking and loads of sobs and cries. 

I lifted my head, it aching from the movement, and I barely lidded my eyes to see enough around me. I saw some lit torches and those cages again. When I tried to move, my arms wouldn't budge, and sure enough, they were tied to two metal rods that stuck out of the ground.

When I moved, I heard whispers, gasps, and even another shriek. I looked over and noticed a woman with a son. She was holding him closely, and protectively- like I was going to hurt them.

I gave them a concerned look, noticing that my mask was gone and I was obviously nude. 

The hell have they done to me?

"I'm not-" I sighed but with a weak huff, "I'm not going to hurt ya,"

The mother looked at me through the iron bars with sad eyes and held her son closer as I spoke. I turned my head in the opposite direction, and could obviously tell that nobody was really around. Though these guys had to be near, with an open ear. They wouldn't up and just leave a giant stranger with a bunch of other hostages. 

"W-What are you?" asked the boy in the woman's arms, trying to pry himself away from his mother's grip.

I looked back at him and gave him a sly smile, but then I shook my head, feeling like this was the millionth time I was being asked that question. 

"I'm nobody, Kid," I responded, and he just continued to stare at me with doll-like eyes. 

Eyes that reminded me of someone.

"Are you going to kill us?" he questioned, as his mother yanked him by the shirt in protest to not speak to me. 

This kid didn't look a day over nine, and he was asking me- hah, me of all people was I going to kill him.

I wanted to answer honestly but I couldn't be so bold in front of such an innocent child, he was too gullible, too easy to scare off. I could never do that. 

"Well, No, but I am going to hurt the people who plan to," I said, feeling a bit of my strength returning and with that, I yanked on the rope around both my wrists and only a bit of force budged at the rods in the dirt. 

What were these idiots thinking?- Pathetic. 

Suddenly- I saw the mother and son huddle into the corner of their own cage, and I heard footsteps in behind me, and I knew right then that I'd need to stop trying to escape, or else, these fools were gonna feed me led for dinner.

The sun had set, and I wondered briefly if anyone noticed my absence. I bet Mikey had.

I looked up when I saw a man swoon around me, and stand directly in front of me. He had a pair of combat boots on, with camouflaged slacks, and a tucked-in black t-shirt. 

I met the guy's face and immediately hated him with the way he stared at me. He was maybe the corporal of this lovely establishment and seemed too interested in me. 

He leaned down, eyeing me, and I gripped the rope around my arms again and made an attempt to tug at them lightly- loosening the rods a little more than before. 

"You are a very interesting Creature," he said flatly while sucking in his bottom teeth. 

I growled lowly and lifted my head up higher to get a better look at this guy- and he was definitely the Leader of this shit hole. And bashing his face in was going to be a pleasure of mine. 

In my head, a quick plan was to calculate how many men this place actually packed. I assumed there were at least three or two behind me, heavily armed to the teeth, and from there, my shell would protect any bullet impact. 

This dude was speaking in that pesky language again, and he chuckled at his men over my shoulder, which only made me growl even louder.

My anger was beginning to boil, and the heat in the air was rising and being in an enclosed place for too long while I was heated wouldn't be very good for anyone In a mile-long radius. These guys would feel the wrath of me, and knowing whatever they done to kids, and women only urged it all on further. 

"Leave him alone!" yelled the boy from the cage who spoke to me earlier on.

The man in front of me with his silly hat and different languages changed his interests to the boy in the cage. 

No.

He sucked in his teeth again and held his hands behind his back while walking over to the cage in slow movements. 

"What was that little one?" he smiled, leaning only halfway down to meet the boy's eye view. 

Don't fucking talk to him.

"I-I said, leave him alone, he's done nothing wrong Kyaputen!" the boy yelled at the taller man, who barked with laughter, and in a recruit, his men joined him. 

Cackles of ignorant-amusement filled my ears, my head, and only fueled my anger.

Shut the fuck up!

I gritted my teeth at the noises and gripped the rope tighter- if that was possible. 

I couldn't see straight- Everything was red.

The man finally ended his banter and yanked out a thick blade he pulled from his holster and stuck it straight to the boy's throat in between the bar's while slipping a hand straight through and slamming his face right against the metal barricades. 

"No!" the mother screamed, scrambling on her hands and knees to pull her son back and away from this disgusting excuse for a human. 

Things took a turn before she could reach him, and the boy looked right at me before the man pierced his jugular with his knife, and cut him deep enough until the young boy's head lopped right off his shoulders.

Blood poured out onto the floor, and I felt sick.

I was blinded with fury when I ripped the rods straight from the ground and roared from the release and swung the right metal pipe at the man who just committed the most gruesome thing I had ever witnessed. 

It hit him over the head, and he flung and hit the cages blocking the rear exit. I hadn't even noticed the men behind me had opened fire until I felt a slight sting in my upper left shoulder.

These bastards just shot me.

I had no weapons. 

No way out- except one.

I gripped the rods in both hands as the rope remained tight against my forearms. 

"You wanna play?" I muttered harshly with a growl in my voice, and I slowly turned, as the men looked at me with panic in their eyes, "Let's fuckin' play-" 

"Hi, hi, hi!" one of them was shouting as I launched myself at them, the ground shaking as I landed on the one in the middle while smacking and slamming the other two to the ground with a loud crash. 

"Who else wants some?" I dared, as a few other men ran into the middle of the opened area. Some with guns, some only with small blades like their Leader had.

I looked all around me, only noticing very few. 

Knowing I've taken on much worse than this, and this was going to be a walk in the dog park for me. 

I needed this. 

"Come on then, pansies!" I shouted, throwing my hands up, as I held the metal rods in both grips still, as two of the men, joined by three ran at me, throwing bullets and moves I could easily imitate. 

I jumped into the air, while blocking most of the fire and fought with everything I had left in me. One guy was thrown over a table, the other through a window, and with a sudden glance, I noticed the ones who stayed behind, and haven't joined in on the fun, had two very familiar blades in his hands. 

My Sai's.

I let out an enjoyable laugh of excitement as a guy ran at me, and I dropped him to the ground with a punch and a stomp to his temple. 

I looked right at the four remaining- and stared directly at one in particular. 

"You've got something' that belongs to me," I said, wiping my nose, as I panted slightly and wiggled my finger at them all, wanting more, needing it. 

I walked forward, and they all huddled back, acting scared now. 

"You don't know who you're messing with reptile!" the one I wanted said, surprising me at their lack of words, and it all only made me laugh again.

"No, I don't think you know who you're messin' with, buddy!" I responded, "Now-- you're gonna stop playin' army and give me back those that you've got in your hands," I grinned, "They are kind of special," 

"You know how to fight, creature, but-" the man from before stumbles out from the left of me, gun in hand, and he coughs, holding his ribs. This guy again. "You won't win this fight!"

I tilted my head at the man, "What makes you think I won't?" I asked with a continuous flatly but amused tone.

"You are messing with very powerful people!" He shouted in my direction, and I rolled my eyes in response and put myself on high alert when the guy who spat at me before jumped on me and went to stab at my face with my own weapons. 

I fell to the ground and grunted as I kicked him off me, and he dropped my sai's on the dirt. 

"Come to Daddy!" was all I said before dropping the metal rods in my hands and replaced them with the one things who got the real job of things done.

I slid my fingers around the handles and mused at their return. I slid the tip of the right blade beneath the rope on my left wrist and sliced it free while doing the same for my right. 

The rope and metal rods tumbled to the ground at my feet and I glanced around me, pointing the blade in my left hand right at the prick who murdered that young boy-

He took a step back, pulling the trigger on the gun and it fired twice, as the bullets hit me in the chest of my plastron and ricochetting towards the walls around us. 

"W-What the fu-" he began and fired another three times as I walked closer while taking all of the fire as I reached him and knocked the gun right out of his hands, and grabbed him by the throat and squeezed as tightly as I could. His fingers began to dig into the scales on my hand, and down my arm.

"You murdered a child right in front of me," I said darkly while narrowing my eyes at him, as something odd rushed over me, "You will suffer, just like he had done,"

The images from the way that boy looked right at me flashed before my very eyes, as I shoved the tip of my sai into the bottom of the man's throat. It piercing into his chin, jaw and through the roof of his mouth as blood gushed onto my hand, and splashed onto my chest. 

Without thinking I yanked my sai out, and plunged it right back into the same wound, and again, repeating the action until the man fell limp right in front of me. I dropped his lifeless body on the ground, on the dirt where he belonged. 

My eyes were fixed on the sight before me until I broke my trance when I heard a sharp cry and hurried towards it in a flash, not even bothering to look back at whoever was left standing- 

I couldn't help but reminisce on the adrenaline rushing through my body- through my veins over what I had just done. It was wrong- Wasn't it?

I found myself in the rear of the building again, and saw the lady from before, crying over her son's headless corpse. I couldn't quite bear the sight of him again, but I couldn't just leave her here like this, or any of the people here. 

"I'll bury him if you'd like," I said without thinking again, and she jumped at the sound of my voice, then squeaked at the sight of me, as if she had completely forgotten I was here, to begin with. 

"B-Bury him?" she croaked, and I nodded my head.

"Wherever you'd like actually- I can get you- You all out of here," I said, cringing a bit at how nice I was actually being after the events of tonight. 

She crawled forward, wincing at the sight of her son again, and held onto the metal bars, while looking up at me, and giving me hopeful but bloodshot eyes, "D-Did you kill him?" she asked with little no hesitation. 

"Wha- oh," I looked down at the blood covering my skin, "I um, I did," feeling a bit odd, admitting such a thing and I nodded my head to confirm my duties. 

She let out a sigh of what sounded like relief, and she began to sob again, "Thank you," she exhaled, "Thank you so much," 

I shook my head, "No, don't thank me, I um," I began and looked around me for a moment.

"You have no idea how long that- thing kept us here," she said with a shaky breath.

"Thing?" I asked.

"He was no man, nothing to me, but a devil in a suit," she laughed bitterly and sniffled while looking at me again, "Do you have a name?" 

I nodded, and looked down a moment, seeing her son's body again, and with a snap, I met her eyes again, not knowing which sight was the worst actually.

"Raphael," 

ᵀᵒ ᴮᵉ Cᵒⁿᵗⁱⁿᵘᵉᵈ


	14. ᴸᵉᵗʰᵃˡ ᴸᵘˢᵗ

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> " ᵂʰᵃᵗ ᴵˢ Yᵒᵘʳ ᴾᵒⁱˢᵒⁿ "   
ᴵˢ ᵇᵃˢᵉᵈ ᵘᵖᵒⁿ ᶜᵒᵐᵖˡᵉᵗᵉ ᶠⁱᶜᵗⁱᵒⁿ ᵃⁿᵈ ⁱᵈᵉᵃ'ˢ ᴴʸᵈʳᵃᵏⁱⁿᶻ, ᴴᵃˢ ᶜᵒˡˡᵉᶜᵗᵉᵈ ᵒᵛᵉʳ ᵗʰᵉ ᵖˡᵒᵗ ᵒᶠ ʰᵉʳ ᶠᵃᵛᵒʳⁱᵗᵉ ᶠᵃⁿᵈᵒᵐ ᵒᶠ ᵃˡˡ ᵗⁱᵐᵉ, ᵀᴹᴺᵀ
> 
> Book Two Out Now! 
> 
> This Story Contains #Turtlecest. 
> 
> ໓໐ຖ't likē, ໓໐ຖ't rēค໓.
> 
> After Raphael and Leonardo think that their brothers are dead from a warehouse explosion, they mourn the deaths of what remained, including the lie and betrayal of their father faking his own death to keep them safe. Raph and Leo try to move on, but more than twenty surprises hit them in the face like a ton of bricks when Donnie and Mike return to the lair after a fight for adventure. Feelings begin to bloom over the loss. And drama forms and rains over their heads like a storm.
> 
> Falling In Love With Your Own Sibling Was Never going to be easy-- but getting them to love you back was a challenge-- Only in reality-- they all loved each other just as equal. 
> 
> Read ᵂʰᵃᵗ ᴵˢ Yᵒᵘʳ ᴾᵒⁱˢᵒⁿ to find out what unfolds right before their eyes, and to be there every step of the way as these four brothers discover what true love and sacrifice truly means to have exactly what you want.

ᵂʰᵃᵗ ᴵˢ Yᵒᵘʳ ᴾᵒⁱˢᵒⁿ

Cʰᵃᵖᵗᵉʳ ˣᴵᴵᴵ

ᴸᵉᵗʰᵃˡ ᴸᵘˢᵗ

{ Smut Warning }

[ Michelangelo ] 

It's been almost twenty-four hours since I saw Raphael. 

I was worried- no, beyond the point of worrying- what if he ran off, or worse, Got hurt?

Raph was a big boy- He can handle himself. As Master Splinter would say- but even then, I still worried about him. I'd still occasionally get scared if he'd ever get caught up in some fight and I wouldn't be there to help him. 

My heart would swell at the thought of someone hurting Raph. I wouldn't know what to do.

About two hours ago, Donnie and I were sitting up, waiting for Raph. We were growing more and more in-depth with how we felt for either Leo or Raph. 

Leo hadn't returned yet, and he managed to never tell us where he went or what his plans were.

Donnie, I'm sure was just as worried as me. Though we barely said but a few chosen words to one another, I still needed, and wanted his company- Those who meant dear and near to us weren't here. 

Don still must think I'm clueless about how he feels for Leo, or maybe he couldn't bother to guess if either I or Raph heard what went down the other night.

It was sort of, nice. 

Especially after what had happened between them. Since then, Donnie hasn't worn his glasses nor has he bothered to fix them. I was a little concerned about how well he was able to see without them, but from what I noticed, he was fine. For now.

I asked him was everything okay before he disappeared to his room down the hall, which he seemed a little hesitant at first about.

He mentioned that he was Alright, and to not stay up too late worrying about our brother and that he was sure he'd return soon enough. He seemed to have more hope in Raph's return than Leo's. 

Things were all wonky between those two- but they weren't as confusing and as messed up like me and Raph's relationship. He was so utterly confusing and sometimes it infuriated me. 

I held a pillow tight in my arms, squeezing it to my chest as my eyes were trained on the front door. I sat on the couch, silently begging that something would happen- and that someone would just show up-

I closed my eyes for a moment and sighed heavily into the fabric. 

"Please, be okay" I muttered, rocking slightly on the couch until my eyes shut permanently and I began to doze off to forbidden lands. 

I couldn't hold myself up another minute longer, and I could only hope when I awoke that good news would be brought to me. 

But with what I assumed, sleep only lasted an hour or two for me, and when I woke up, it was completely dark, and the light from the outside porch was the only thing I could see. 

I began to shiver at my unknown surroundings, though fully aware I was in the lounge room, I still forbid myself to the darkness. I hated it. I hated not being able to see where I was, and whatever was going on. 

Leo continued to scold me time and time again about my fear for the dark, but he couldn't just make my fears go. He couldn't just say shoo, and they'd run for their lives. 

I sat up on the couch and blinked at the darkroom, and I fiddled around on the cushions and found the television remote and clicked the power button as soon as I could. The screen came to life, and soon the room was filled with antic like cartoons from this week's newest episodes. 

I sighed in relief and fell back, the remote dangling in my hand and off the side of the sofa. 

"Stupid keys," someone from the outside porch grumbled, and I froze while swiftly jumping behind the couch.

Oh No, what if this was the owner or something?- we would be totally screwed!

I remained still, and peeked over the top of the couch, as the door handle rattled and that's when Raph appeared in the doorway- with a set of keys in his hands. 

He was covered in blood.

"Raph?" 

His head snapped up, while his eyes coming to an alert and I peeked further over the couch.

"Mikey?" he asked, "What're you doin' up?"

"Waiting for you," I answered, "I thought you were some burglar, or maybe the owner of the house,"

"Why you waitin' up for me, I'm fine," he said heading for the stairs, and I followed him moments later. 

"You don't seem fine," I insisted, and he gave me a slight growl, causing me to stay back a few more inches before following him into the bathroom. 

"Well, I am, Just got a little tuckered out, and found some things that I didn't really wanna find," he explained, but only briefly as he edged me on more to find out as much as I possibly could.

"Like what?"

He huffed, turning to face me in the doorway and stared right down at me, "Some stuff you don't need to know about," 

"What's with all the blood then?" I asked, milking my curiosity.

He shook his head, and turned away from me and going straight for the sink, "I've had a rough night Mikey- so could you-"

"You've had a rough night?- what about a rough night and day? I sat up waiting because I was worried about you! Just like Leo, you ran off and got into whatever this is," I snapped, gesturing to the dried blood covering Raph, almost from head to toe, "Me and Donnie were worried, and we still are, so what do you think about me?" 

"What about you, I told you!" he growled, "I already told ya, I'm fine, nothin' I can't fuckin' handle!" 

I sighed and glanced down at the marble floor. Knowing we were getting absolutely nowhere doing this- the constant bickering back and forth. I was doing the one thing I hated the most.

"Fine, dude, I will drop it. For now, can-" I began, but hesitated a moment, debating whether my next words would be too far or over the top or not, "Can I at least clean you up?"

He looked at me, not sure if what I just said was actually what I said or not. 

I decided to make the decision for him and go straight to the shower while switching it on. I turned to face him, and sure enough, he was still looking at me. 

I noticed something odd about Raph, and I was baffled to believe that I didn't notice his mask was gone. 

"Where's your uh, thingy?" I asked, motioning to my own mask and he shrugged.

"Guess they took it," he mumbled, and I frowned, wondering who he meant by they- but I didn't bother with asking as I turned to grab a few towels from the cabinet.

I reached up and removed my own bandana, in the hope of maybe comforting Raph in some way to show him it's okay to walk around with it off. I sometimes enjoyed being without it. We all knew that being a ninja also meant to keep your identity hidden to avoid conflict. I've grown so used to it- it just became a thing for me, and for us all. I can only imagine how naked Raph really must felt-

Which was something he actually was-

I eyed Raphael up and down, the towels along with my mask being gripped tightly in hand as I stared at him. His clothes were missing and the only thing he managed to keep with him was his utility belt and his beloved Sai's.

My face began to redden, "Raph, you're um," 

He noticed my eye of direction, and looked down at himself and chuckled softly- "Oh, right, yeah, those bone heads took my pants as well," 

For a moment I thanked God that we were terapins. I cleared my throat. "Hah, wow, who uh, who would take someone's pants?" I laughed trying to lighten the mood. 

"Somebody who wanted information, maybe a little too much, information," he informed, doodling his fingers in the air as if what he was speaking about wasn't even important. But it only pulled me in further to know what the hell went on. 

I placed the towels and such on the counter next to the sink, "Well, put those somewhere-" I said pointing at his blades, which were also covered in blood.

Raph didn't hurt anybody that badly did he?

He gave me a roll of his eyes and took the sai's and placed them neatly on the counter, next to the towels, "Do you plan on showering with me?" he asked but obviously not being serious.

"Only if ya want me to," I grinned cheekily and he shook his head, "I wanna clean you," I said with care in my voice. 

"Then clean me," he said with a flat tone, and something inside of me perked up, and a Really almost slipped from my lips, but I couldn't bring myself to possibly ruining this chance. 

It was a straight but pitiful excuse to touch Raph, and I really needed to. 

Even with as odd as it sounded, I just needed a moment with my hands connecting to the flesh on his body- 

God, I sounded so bad. 

I rose my hand, telling him to get in underneath the water, and my heart began to speed up as he obeyed and walked into the shower, as his head dove underneath the railing from being too tall. 

I watched in a trance as he stuck himself underneath the faucet and water began to pour over his head, and down onto his chest. 

Jesus. 

I was beginning to realize that this- this was a sight even better than the new Zelda game releasing in twenty-twenty-seven. 

"You just gonna stand there and stare, Mikey or do I need to get the soap myself?" he asked, snapping me from my thoughts and I shook my head, almost instantly going for the soap packed away in the top cabinet, which smelt like pure bananas, "You comin' in here with me?" he then said, causing me to freeze for a moment. 

Did he really just- I thought he was joking- 

I looked at him and nodded my head while dropping my pajama pants to the floor, and leaving them there as I gripped the bottle of soap in my hand and climbed into the shower next to Raph. His body heat was already sticking to me like glue, and the smell of blood, sweat, and tension mixed of the four only drove me crazy-

I glanced up at Raph, and our eyes collided for a moment and I looked away quickly to avoid any further exposure of myself. 

"Well?" he asked, causing me to look up again,

"W-Well, what?"

"You gonna clean me?" he asked with a small grin. 

Oh.

"I-I'm sorry just a little distracted," I said, taking a blue loofa that was on a hook of the shower wall, and I squirted a quarter amount of soap into the middle of the sponge and glanced up at Raph who turned to face me. 

"With what?" he asked, as he lowered his voice, causing me to cower.

"With um, all this blood, there is uh, so much, I have um, never seen this much," I answered, wetting the loofa, and sticking it to Raph's chest. He flenched, but then sighed from the contact as I carefully drug the sponge across his skin, wiping away all the red splotches. 

Everything was tense, everything felt so- slow, so weird. I haven't been this close to Raph since- 

Since he kissed me. 

Since then, I haven't stopped thinking about it- fantasizing about it happening again, or possibly more. 

What even was more?

I sighed at the thought as the steam between us two got thicker and filled my lungs, only making me feel hotter. 

I continued to clean Raph's upper body until everything was washed away and he was blood-free. But to think of it and to make myself feel better, I just imagined that Raph got into a big ketchup fight with someone and he ended up taking the brunt of it all. 

I also imagined that Raph hadn't taken his eyes off me since I stepped into the shower with him. He was quiet. Too quiet for the hot-head I knew him to be. 

I glanced up, my eyes barely lidded as I carefully watched Raph follow my hand on his chest with the sponge. I placed my other on his shoulder and helped wash off the remainder of the soap.

"Mikey-" he whispered, catching me off guard as he snatched me by the wrist and shoved me against the wall with very light force, causing me to drop the sponge. 

I stared up at him in shock as the night in the tunnels reminded me of this very moment. The images returned, the feel of his lips on mine, and how his hot breath felt on my skin. It only made me quiver.

"R-Raph, I'm not done," I protested.

"I wanna tell ya somethin' but I just- I can't," he muttered, meeting my eyes, but with his own being sadder than I've ever seen them. 

"Why can't you?" I questioned, dying for the truth.

"Because it's bad," he sighed, "Real bad," 

"Raph," I began, and touched his chest again, but this time without the sponge, as both of my bare hands were placed flatly on his exposed skin, and along the line of the very tip of his plastron, "You can tell me anything- I mean, C'mon, dude, you know I won't judge you," 

I had to remind myself that this was my brother I was speaking to, and even in the past when we were younger, we've bathed together on certain occasions and nothing back then was like this now.

Especially for Obvious reasons, but now, now it was something more. Something better. 

"I know, I just- I can't stop thinkin' about it," he said with a sigh, and carefully backed up a step, freeing me from the space he has forbidden between us.

"Why don't you just tell me when you're ready- Okay?" I said, giving him a hopeful smile. 

He nodded his head, and closed in on me again, and rested his forehead on my left shoulder. I felt the heat in my cheeks return as the water greeted me finally- and relaxed what tension was left in the air. 

"R-Raph, would you like me to continue washing you off?" I asked and stammered as I placed both hands on his broad shoulders, gently rubbing them, trying to maybe coax him. 

I felt him shake his head, "I think we're done for tonight, I wanna head to bed," he said on my shoulder, while suddenly placing a light kiss on my skin.

"O-Oh, well, then let's get you to bed then," I smiled as he raised his head off of me, and gave me a slight grin, showing me the emotion in his eyes again. 

I didn't wanna leave him. I didn't wanna pad back to my own room, where I shared a bed all to myself, and where I slept alone. I couldn't bring myself to leave Raphael in the state he was in. He obviously had more demons than usually and someone needed to stick by his side. And nobody else would, but me. Nobody else could stand by Raph and be able to handle who he truly was, but me.

Only me.

Raphael was the first to get out of the shower, and I followed in behind him while grabbing a towel of my own, and drying myself off while realizing I didn't really do much of cleaning while I was in there, but I didn't care. I didn't mind that I was taking care of Raph and paying no mind to myself.

He was himself around me, yet someone totally different all at the same time, and so was I.

When we got to his room, he flicked on the lamp by the bedside and sat across the edge of the mattress, while I stood there a bit too awkwardly and decided to maybe bolt for the door and make a grand exit. But there was that tension again. Pulling me in, like some rope, some power was over my body- something was forcing me to stand here, and watch over my best friend. My sibling- 

My Potential Lover. 

"Well, um, I guess goodnight, if you need me-" I started to say and take my leave but Raph shook his head at me, motioning me closer. 

"I don't want you to go," he said, looking right at me, "Want ya to stay with me tonight,"

"Stay?" I repeated, fiddling nervously with the tails of my mask, I still hadn't put back on.

"Yeah, like, sleep in here with me, I uh," he rubbed the back of his head, "I don't really wanna be alone, ya know?"

I blushed at his words, and a huge smile spread across my face, "You sure you can handle bunking with me?" I snickered, "You said you didn't want to, remember?" 

He chuckled effortlessly and shrugged his large shoulders, "I changed my mind. For now," 

I stepped forward, and placed myself on the bed next to him, "Well, I don't snore as badly as you," I giggled, nudging him.

"We'll just have to see," he grinned while I took my side of the bed, and tucked myself beneath the sheets, "Don't hog the blankets neither," he said while stretching and pulling his own back to make enough room. 

"I can only try-" I grinned while turning away from him, not really wanting to, but I figured that Raph really wouldn't like me staring at him the whole time while he slept. 

I was in a bit of disbelief. 

I lied there for what seemed forever, thinking about how close I actually was to him. 

"Goodnight, Mikey" Raph rumbled behind me, and I tensed up at the sound of his sleepy like tone. 

He was sexy- Even if sexy didn't define him. He was sexy when he spoke, and even when he was angry and screaming at me for eating the last of his cereal, he was still sexy-

Everything about Raph turned me on. Nobody- and nothing could compare to what this turtle did to me. And Raph was pure perfection in my eyes. But he failed to see it- he always had from the very beginning-

I shuffled in the blankets and found myself slowly drifting off, but then I felt Raph move in behind me, and suddenly his arm draped over my body and pulled me in closer. My shell pressed into his chest, and his arm tightened around my plastron. 

Was I dreaming again?

"Raph?" I whispered, and he hummed in behind me, and I felt him at the back of my head, leaning on me. 

My heart was pounding within seconds, and the warmth pooling in my belly wasn't much of a good sign. 

His heat on my back wasn't helping either. I carefully crossed my legs over one another, hoping to God that I don't drop down without any force of nature. It was getting worse with controlling and at times, there wasn't hiding it anymore. I figured it happened to all of us, but the others never seemed to struggle with keeping themselves hidden. 

It was highly embarrassing with how hot I got sometimes, and the musky scent coming from all of my brothers only urged the habit on further. 

The smell was what got to me most, and oddly enough I found myself obsessing over it. 

I drunk in the smell of my siblings like some drug- but there wasn't anything more powerful than Raph's scent. 

There was something special about his own that got me going within seconds. 

"Mm," I silently whined while biting into my pillow, in hope that Raph would get off of me. He had to be asleep, and this was just some stupid mistake. 

He would never be this touchy with me.

Cuddling simply wasn't Raph's style.

Or was it?

I pushed my elbow back, trying to push him off, but there wasn't a chance in hell he'd budge. Raphael was like ten times the size of me, and without a chance, I was stuck like this. Stuck like this with a potential issue I'd have to worry about-

Dreaming about this moment was something different to me, but the real thing was a nightmare. My anxiety was kicking in and I didn't need Raph- my eldest brother seeing me like-

Like, this.

Raph was lowering his head to the back of my neck, and there, I felt his breath again. Hot and Thick, purring ever so slightly- causing me to take in a breath of my own. 

Oh god. 

No.

I was having an actual problem, and the tighter I squeezed my thighs together, the worse it got. 

I felt his lips there, and he was kissing and placing the most gentle ones I had ever felt. His butterfly smooches were covering the back of my neck. 

I knew then that Raph was either awake, or just toying with me, or even dreaming of something I hadn't had in mind of knowing-

I turned my head to look at him, and just like I had thought. His eyes were closed, and his face was as straight as aboard and deep in sleep.

I gave him a flat expression and wanted to laugh at how much of a fool I truly was for thinking all of that was possibly real. 

I didn't move as I was on my back now, with my shell cushioning into the mattress. I couldn't help but stare at his twisted, but sleeping face. 

He was beautiful. Too beautiful in fact.

"Mikey," he muttered, while his lips slightly parted. 

"I-I'm here," I shuddered while drawing circles around the base of his muscular forearm. 

He pulled me in closer, and his eyes came open, looking down at me, and giving me a relieved smile. 

Did he think I'd sneak out or something? I had never seen Raph this co-dependent on having someone such as myself- the one who annoyed him the most, near to him, and close enough to hear each other's breathing while we slept. 

"You are here," he said with a light voice, looking down at me.

"Course, why wouldn't I be, what uh, what're brothers for?" I asked with a slight shrug and his expression remained straight but tempting- 

He leaned in closer, and caused my breath to hitch, "How uncomfortable do I make ya?" he asked me suddenly-

I knitted what hairless brows I could give together, and shook my head, "You um, you don't," I answered with only a bit of honesty-

"I don't, huh?" he whispered, only inches away from me. 

I sighed out weakly and touched his biceps, my hands tampering with his skin, and running lightly along with the tattoo that laced his flesh. 

"Raph," I said with a shaky voice, "I want-" I stopped, my face reddening and he cocked his head, crawling over me, and hovering there now, with both arms braced at the sides of my frame. 

"What do you want?" he asked not even a second after the words slipped from my mouth. 

"I want um," my cheeks flushed deeper, and I wanted to run. 

Just say it, and tell him. Tell him you want to feel it again. Tell him you needed that same adrenaline that fueled your veins when he touched you.

"I want you to, um," I swallowed, but met his eyes, "I wanna feel, your lips, again," I managed to get out, not even noticing how deep my fingers were digging into his shoulders until the words tumbled out. 

Raph's lips popped open in a small O shape, and he leaned down further, with disbelief in his eyes, and at this very moment- I knew that my heart would explode.

I knew it would leave my body if he left me now.

Our lips touched briefly- and for a moment, I felt hungry- and not for food either. I pressed into his touch, our lips connected and collided with one another until we were full-on making out in slow out draughts. 

I let out a soft whine- a whine like no other, a whine of relief, a whine of the need in me, and the craving of the thrill ride I took every single time I felt Raph's mouth on mine. 

Our noses and snouts bumped and Raph hovered closer, pressing hard into my lips, and forcing access of his tongue in between my teeth and danced it with mine. Sucking in my own tongue, and kissing me deeply- but with passion, I didn't even know he had in him. 

Who even was Raph when he was around me? Where was the angry beast I knew from all these years? He was much more tamed now, much more, soft and chewable in ways I couldn't even famish alone. 

Raph growled into my mouth when I nibbled his lower lip, and the pillow beneath me could get torn in half at this point, but I wouldn't care. I wouldn't care if this whole room was ripped apart, as long as I remained right where I was.

I pushed myself even closer as our hips connected and I ground into him. My body wasn't under my control anymore. It was his. 

I slid my arms around Raph's neck and pulled him impossibly close to me as our whole bodies mushed together. He was grinding just as hard into me as I was him, and by now, I hadn't even noticed myself tumbling out from hiding and the base of my erection was pushing right against Raph's thigh. 

"Oh," I panted while disconnecting my lips from Raph's and looking down in between the small gap I created wide enough to see in between the both of us. 

My head fell back after I noticed Raph following my gaze and he saw what was going on, and a small grin was placed on his face, only embarrassing me further. 

"Someone is real' excited aren't they?" Raph asked, shoving his knee between my legs and creating friction. 

"Ah, y-yes!" I gasped in response, and my whine made Raph's grin widen. 

The heat was no longer in my stomach, it was fueling my entire body with an impossibly different type of way- and I couldn't help but let out noises I never knew I even had. 

Raph growled above me and connected our lips again and slid both his arms underneath me and lifted my body against his and into the air where he place me firmly on his lap, and on instinct I was rutting against him as my fingers tangled themselves in his skin, his touch and his sweet fucking scent I couldn't get enough of. 

Raph's hands traveled lower and lower, trailing over my carapace, and rubbing my shell. My tail wagged above the opening of my behind, and I couldn't help but push my ass out further, to expose my tail a bit more, in hope Raph would do exactly what I always had done when I played with myself. 

Our kisses turned sloppy- and even rough, as our teeth collided and clanked against each other. I was hungry for his mouth, and from the sounds of the small and subtle grunts coming from Raph, he was just as hungry- and turned on.

It was a dream come true. 

"R-Raphie," I churred when he found my tail and twisted it lightly between his fingers. His lips traveled to my throat and bit harshly at my skin to mark his place, and with only of the thought of him doing so, made me rut faster, "Oh, god," I moaned, filling the room with the rising whines of my voice. 

Raph hadn't moved from my neck since he began with it, and I tilted my head back to give him further access while I earned a chur of my own coming right from his lips. 

"The fuck are you doin' to me, Mikey?" he growled, biting at my exposed chest while giving me a firm smack on the rear, as another moan erupted from my throat. 

"R-Ravishing you," I managed to say as I grabbed him by the face and pulled him in for yet, another harsh kiss until Raph retorted from my lips, and barely pulled inches away from me as I whined from the loss of contact until I felt his fingers at the puckered entrance in between my legs. 

I gasped, feeling the tip of his thick index piercing my body and exploring the very depths of my sweetest core. 

"R-Raph, I-" I began, gripping at his shoulders, knowing how red my face probably was. This was nothing like I had even begun to think of.

That area- it was, mm. It was sacred. It was sacred, a secret place- but so deliciously good. 

Raph pushed deeper, wiggling his finger with careful movements, earning a few more breathless moans from me. The loss of eye contact between us was impossible, and I couldn't even explain the feeling in my lower region. 

Pain Mixed with pleasure was something I had occasionally heard of. But I never thought that the real thing would be so special- so close, so damn good and raw.

"W-Why are you, ah," I gasped, gripping the same arm on Raph that was being used to probe me, "-Doing that?" 

Raph's face softened at the sight of me and made my face redden even more if that was possible. 

"I have to prep ya," he answered, leaning up to peck my lips, but I kept his head in a position where I could capture his mouth again. I moaned into the kiss, as his finger slipped in then out, in an almost scissor-like motion. 

Prep me?

"F-Fuck," I churred, feeling yet another digit pierce my rectum, and thrust at the same steady pace as before, "Raph it, Mnn, it hurts," 

"Maybe I should have made you suck on em' first," he chuckled softly "Would have been a little easier on ya, but seeing you like this was definitely worth it," 

Suck. 

I held onto Raph's shoulders as tightly as I could, wanting to leave marks of my own. I was greeted with the absence of pain in my lower half, and felt a little dizzy from everything- 

"I'm gonna take ya, Mikey- I can't hold off any longer," he admitted, causing my eyes to light up, "I've wanted ya for so long- so badly that I can hardly fucking stand it anymore," 

I stared right at Raph as he said the words, and if it was possible, my heart would just burst. 

I didn't have anything to say- as I didn't even know how to respond as Raph made his own movements, and spread out my legs on either side of himself, as I noticed his own erection growing largely in between his own thighs. 

I wondered when Raph even dropped down, but the view alone made me feel like a stone rock. His cock with thicker, and longer than mine ever was. I was silly to think we all would look or even feel the same when pleasure occurred to us. 

"Y-You're gonna b-break me," I said on a shaky breath and pressed my hands into his chest as his shell met the headboard of the mattress. 

"I'm gonna do more than break you, Mikey," he said, as my eyes never left the sight between his legs. 

Raphael pulled me in closer to his chest, making me perch my rear in the air and lower myself but only by a small bit. I wanted to question what Raph even meant by more. 

But I couldn't pry- I was already getting more than what I originally bargained for. 

"I-Is this, what um, what you had planned?" I asked without thinking as Raph's hand disappeared in between my legs to reach for his own member, and caressing the shaft before giving it long but tight strokes. 

He shook his head, small pants escaping his lips, "No, but it's somethin' I've been dreamin' about for a while,"

"How long?"

"Too long-" he whispered, positioning the base of his cock between my cheeks, and teased at me lightly- causing me to grind down and earn a few throaty grunts from Raph. 

"I want it," I said, holding him by the shoulders as the tip prodded at my entrance, toying with me again, and I panted at the touch and had the hardest time finding my own breath before saying- "Please,"

"Be a good boy, Mikey- and sit down," was all Raph had said before I lowered myself on the massive organ of flesh straining to fit inside.

I churred at his words, and my mouth hung open at the sudden intrusion, "Raph- it, oh," I groaned, gritting my own teeth as burning coursed through my legs. 

Raph grabbed my hips, and held me up, holding me in the position, and not letting me slip up.

"Lower," Raph growled, digging his fingers into my sides, forcing me down even further as his cock penetrated deeper into my system. 

"Holy-" I stopped, and lowered my head on his shoulder, sudden whines of pain slipping past my opening lips. 

"That's it- fuck, Mikey you're a lot tighter than I thought you'd be!" He said into my ear, giving me a little more energy-

What was he expecting? 

I wanted to tell him that the pain was too much, but I wanted it, I needed the pain and the reminder that tomorrow might come and this whole thing was just one big joke or nightmare. 

I rolled my hips at a slow pace, taking what a could inside, and wanting to swallow my pride. 

"Raphie," I moaned, as my mouth hung open in a continuous amount of twisted and confusing emotions, and pleasures I never thought I'd ever feel. 

"Mikey," Raph groaned, holding me by the hips, forcing me to move a little faster, but respecting my speed all at the same time. 

His name on my lips gave me a little shove, and I was moving a lot quicker now, as I felt the hard flesh penetrate me, over and over again, sending pre-orgasmic shock waves up my spine, causing me to whine louder than before. 

I glanced at the sight below me, and Raph was admiring his view, and the way my body moved and twitched at the feel of his own. He locked eyes with mine as I threw my hips against him, my own meeting with his. 

"Jesus Christ, Mikey," Raph moaned, fueling the power I suddenly had over him. And the realization of what I'm doing to him was making things unable to handle for myself. 

"Mm, Raphie, harder, I need it harder!" I churred and whined like a needy bitch I was, and Raph obliged with a growl, and gripped at my hips hard, while he slammed into my lower half. 

My whole body tensed up, and I grabbed ahold of his wrists, letting him plow into me and use my body to his liking- 

"Ah, Mikey likes being treated this way doesn't he?" Raph grunted, his hips smacking against the bottom half of my thighs, "He wants to be used by me!" and I nodded my head frantically-

"R-Raphie, I'm gonna-" I warned unable to hold my release, as he churred at my words, nailing my inner core causing me to cry out. 

I hadn't even noticed the neglect of my own body from my own damn hands up until this point. My own erection was bouncing at the friction and force brought on by the ram of Raph's thrusts.

I was going to cum just from him fucking me, and I needed it, God, I needed it so badly- I needed it every night and day- just like this. 

"Shit, I don't think I can," he huffed, gritting his teeth and breathing out harshly through his nose, "I don't think, I can hold it!" 

"Raph- uh, Raphael!" I churred as he did, and without a single word spoken between us, my seed shot over Raph's lower plastron with a final sharp cry as I held onto him as he was finishing his own release with a few final, sloppy but brute thrusts into my body and that was all it took. 

And as he found his release, I pressed hard against his lips as sweat covered both of us. He sighed into my mouth and let the death grip on my hips finally go, and I winced, feeling something wet between my legs. 

I pulled away- and rested my forehead against his, as sleep took over my mind, and I smiled right at him. 

"I think," I panted, "I think we're gonna need another shower,"

Raph managed to laugh at my words, and tucked his arms around my shell and pulled me into him for an embrace and I leaned on him, and rested there, knowing I was fully protected and loved, and completely cared for, for once. 

I didn't care if tomorrow came, 

I didn't care if the world ended tomorrow, and the whole world was taken over by Zombies.

At least I knew then who I belonged to.

Or at least, who I thought.

ᵀᵒ ᴮᵉ Cᵒⁿᵗⁱⁿᵘᵉᵈ


	15. ᴰᵃᵛⁱⁿᶜⁱ ᴬⁿᵈ ᴼᵗʰᵉʳ ᵀʰⁱⁿᵍˢ

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> " ᵂʰᵃᵗ ᴵˢ Yᵒᵘʳ ᴾᵒⁱˢᵒⁿ "   
ᴵˢ ᵇᵃˢᵉᵈ ᵘᵖᵒⁿ ᶜᵒᵐᵖˡᵉᵗᵉ ᶠⁱᶜᵗⁱᵒⁿ ᵃⁿᵈ ⁱᵈᵉᵃ'ˢ ᴴʸᵈʳᵃᵏⁱⁿᶻ, ᴴᵃˢ ᶜᵒˡˡᵉᶜᵗᵉᵈ ᵒᵛᵉʳ ᵗʰᵉ ᵖˡᵒᵗ ᵒᶠ ʰᵉʳ ᶠᵃᵛᵒʳⁱᵗᵉ ᶠᵃⁿᵈᵒᵐ ᵒᶠ ᵃˡˡ ᵗⁱᵐᵉ, ᵀᴹᴺᵀ
> 
> Book Two Out Now! 
> 
> This Story Contains #Turtlecest. 
> 
> ໓໐ຖ't likē, ໓໐ຖ't rēค໓.
> 
> After Raphael and Leonardo think that their brothers are dead from a warehouse explosion, they mourn the deaths of what remained, including the lie and betrayal of their father faking his own death to keep them safe. Raph and Leo try to move on, but more than twenty surprises hit them in the face like a ton of bricks when Donnie and Mike return to the lair after a fight for adventure. Feelings begin to bloom over the loss. And drama forms and rains over their heads like a storm.
> 
> Falling In Love With Your Own Sibling Was Never going to be easy-- but getting them to love you back was a challenge-- Only in reality-- they all loved each other just as equal. 
> 
> Read ᵂʰᵃᵗ ᴵˢ Yᵒᵘʳ ᴾᵒⁱˢᵒⁿ to find out what unfolds right before their eyes, and to be there every step of the way as these four brothers discover what true love and sacrifice truly means to have exactly what you want.

ᵂʰᵃᵗ ᴵˢ Yᵒᵘʳ ᴾᵒⁱˢᵒⁿ

Cʰᵃᵖᵗᵉʳ ˣᴵⱽ

ᴰᵃᵛⁱⁿᶜⁱ ᴬⁿᵈ ᴼᵗʰᵉʳ ᵀʰⁱⁿᵍˢ

[ Leonardo ]

I was without a doubt; a coward.

But I refused to let myself feel any worse- get any worse because I had only one objective. I had a story to learn and something to say to the one who truly was a coward here.

I lifted the hood off of my head, and let it fall back as I stood on the doorstep of a man I grew to greet as The Ancient One. 

My brothers were probably wondering about my disappearance, and I knew I'd have to deal with them as soon as I returned. I disrespected the likes of them; I disrespected the peace of someone who I got the closest with. 

Donnie,

I'm so sorry-

I clenched my fists and stared up in awe at the very large double-sided doors before me. I sucked in a breath of air before I hesitantly raised my fist to the mahogany doorframe, and gave it a couple of hard taps.

I stood back, wondering and even worried if the man who I knew from my master so very well would even remember me. It had been years, and a strange moment in time like this to be visiting a man in the early hours of High Stakes, Japan. 

It was a place only those worthy enough were to enter, and I, time and time again, have proved my worth, and where I am liable to stand. 

I waited for what seemed like minutes before I went for another knock or so, but just as I raised my fist; the door slowly creaked open, and a young-looking man in a yukata, appeared. 

He greeted me with a smile and a bow, and I generously bowed back to respect his kindliness. 

"What can I do for you, Reptile?" he asked, and I gawked at him, wondering how the man could be so clever as to know what I even was. But at the end of the day- I couldn't be that hard to figure out if you knew your animal facts of course. 

I cleared my throat; "Oh, um, I-I'm looking for a man,"

"A man?" he notes, widening the width of the doors on each side of himself, and allowing me entrance of the palace. 

I nod my head, and pad through the door, and standing only at the carpet leading down a small corridor, "A man who calls himself, The Ancient One," I further on. 

The man at the door pauses a moment; then shuts the door carefully then to turn and face me, "What do you know of, The Ancient One, Reptile?" he asks, as his voice was a little more serious this time.

"Leonardo," I correct him, "He could tell me a great deal about a man- My Father. It's why I am here,"

The man stares up at me in wonder, "Leonardo, You say?" 

I nod, "I prefer, Leo- but look, could you just--"

"The Blue Warrior," he gushes with excitement. 

"What?- Blue Warrior, what're you on about?" 

"Please, come, come this way!" he says, dragging my hand briefly but let's go once I comply and follow him into the next room, through some red-silk curtains. 

I duck underneath the archway and find myself in a large room, draped with all the same color schemes. The decor was astonishing- and like nothing, I had ever seen. 

"You see, see," the man points towards the walls, "You, Leonardo, are The Blue Warrior!" he smiles, and I follow his direction, and on the walls, there lined portraits of grungy artwork of myself, and even the rest of my brothers.

My lips hung a few inches apart as I carefully took a step forward to get a better look. 

"What is-" I held back a chuckle of disbelief, "What is all of this?" I asked, not looking in the man's direction, and I heard him squeak of excitement. 

"The Color-coded Samurai has been apart of our nation's legacy for centuries," he grinned up at me, "Decades ago, there were rules made, and rules broken, and The Ancient One foresaw the truth behind these broken commandments, and Master Hamato Splinter, word to us about the four terrapins he was raising of his own--"

"My Father?" I interrupted, and the man nodded at me and turned his direction back to the portraits, where below, held identical weapons of my own, and the rest of my siblings desired choices. 

"Splinter is a warrior by himself, and only wanted to pass what knowledge he had to you- and As you may already know Leo, Son, Blue is the color of a Leader, and someone who shows great attitude, and true loyalty in his rights, wrongs, and imperfections," he pointed towards the katana's below my portrait, that was wrapped in a navy blue, flowery pattern, and the tsuba shield protecting the precise blades were painted with genuine midnight blue exterior. 

I was in awe, yet again. 

I'd never seen anything so beautiful- so perfect.

"Leo, Son," the man said, pulling me from my gaze, and I stared down at him with as much attention as I could possibly give, "I am not supposed to tell you of these things, but your Father has set himself on a dangerous journey- and The Ancient One was so kind to join him, but I fear it won't be enough, and I have a favor of you to do for me, on one condition," he sighed, turning his own attention towards the portraits, again.

I blinked, "Wait- So, they aren't here?" 

The man glanced up at me and slowly shook his head, with a sigh, "They've been gone many weeks, Leo, Son, and have yet to return, and I've grown more worried than I am supposed to- but you, you have given an old man hope with your arrival,"

I admired the stranger's words, let alone his appearance, "Old? Pardon my manners for such a sudden change in subject, er, but you don't look very old,"

He chuckled and kept a straight posture, "Well, I am the Gyoji, after all. I don't initially age, nor do I ever change but grow smarter by the minute by learning something new,"

"Gyoji?" I questioned, "So, you're an immortal?" 

"I guess you could call it that, Leo, Son, but I just call it spiritual living! And we all have it in us, and with practice and focus on the mind, you too could have eternal life," he mused, casually strutting away from me, and exiting the room. 

I stood there for a minute before following him. I gazed up at the portraits a final time, and my eyes set on Donnie's, and his very own unique weapon. It was beautiful- and so was everything about this room, and it only made me wish the guys were here to see this, but I didn't need them on my case about finding dad.

We discussed that we stopped caring about Sensei's return a couple of weeks ago, but I didn't wanna stop hoping he'd come back to us, to me. 

But missing him wasn't a thing any more; it was anger, and anger was something intolerable. It was something I wanted to push away along with whatever else feeling I had since I put my hands on Don. 

That Night.

The color in my cheeks returned, and I walked away from the portraits and followed Gyoji. 

"Would you like some Tea, Leo, Son?" he asked when I entered, and I held my hand up to him.

"I didn't come here for tea. I didn't come here to discuss ancient artifacts. I came here to find my father, and if he isn't here, then where is he?" I retorted, trying to best to be as calm as I could for the sake of this smaller person.

Gyoji sighed and carefully set the porcelain cup on a smaller looking plate, and glanced up at me.

"Leonardo, As I told you, The Ancient One and Your Father set out on a trip weeks ago, and have yet to return," he turned his attention back to the cup, and dropped what looked like sugar cubes into the water, "But before, I mention anything further,"

I huffed, and stood straight, "What was the favor, Gyoji?" 

Gyoji looked back at me, and his eyes seemed to show a little more spirit than they were at first, "The Favor I hand to you won't be like any ordinary tasks, and it won't be easy--"

"What is it?" I demand, stepping forward and growing entirely impatient. 

He stared at me with calm eyes, then lowered his head, "If I send you on your way with a gift I am not really supposed to give to you; Yet, You must promise me something-"

I narrowed at him, "Anything" I simply answered.

"These weapons are made from very special people, and many have sacrificed even their spiritual living just to make them, and The Ancient One, made sure that each one for you and your brothers would be one of a kind, and if others who aren't apart of the trib get their hands on them, it could be fatal," he explained, and I got a little confused at first. 

"Are you saying these weapons are like, Linked to us?" and with my answer, he nods his head and trails back towards the previous room, and I follow quietly-

"A long time ago, when four brothers came here with Master Splinter, we knew then how special you were, and from what you don't remember, the only thing linking these weapons to you, or to even the rest of you, was your mutated blood, and since then, nothing on the planet could have been simply strong enough to link something so powerful to one person," he smiled up at me, and I watched as the palms of his hands began to glow a blue firey color, and he reached for the two blades that sat neatly below my very own portrait. And one at a time, he turned and carefully sat the katana in my own palms, and the touch was electrifying- and smooth. 

All the anger I came in here with had suddenly disappeared, and I was left with the energy of the weapon in my very hands. I ran my fingers along the base and to the very end of its sheath, and tsuba. I could feel the internal power coursing through it and knowing this, only made me stronger. 

"These were made just for you, Leo, Son, so please, please take care of them," Gyoji said, placing a hand on my shoulder, "And today I will make amends for you to return all of these to their rightful owners,"

I looked at him, finally breaking away from the blade in my hands, "You're going to let my brothers have their's?" I questioned, looking back at the wall. 

"Yes. I want you to carry these with you, and I want you to explain to them everything I have to you today- and do remember to not leave a thing out; and I will soon give you the details of today's visit as well," he said, still smiling at me.

"Do I not get to know now?" I asked, holstering the blades at my hip, where they comfortably sat. 

Gyoji gazed at me, "I cannot explain now, unfortunately- for now, I am just so grateful you have shown up today- and now know the truth behind your status, and behind your Father," he then sighed, walking away from me briefly and held his hands behind his back, "Although I must warn you, if your Sensei ever returns, or even finds out about the knowledge you now hold, it might be upsetting for him- he was the most stubborn and persistent person I had ever known, and keeping you out of harm's reach was always his main priority-"

"Yeah, I know that- but I'm grown now, and there won't be any more secrets from him, or my brothers," I responded, crossing my arms. 

"I hear the anger in your voice, Leo, Son, and I assure you, I understand why- we all here do, and for what he did to his own children, was very wrong- and even The Ancient One told him it was a bad idea, but he didn't listen in the hope to bring his master back,"

I scoffed, "So, that is what this was all about- I knew it!"

Gyoji sighed, and returned to the wall at my side, "You have to find it in your heart to forgive him one day- but for now, you have to work on other things,"

"I'll work on it eventually- but I'm more concerned about this favor, and these damned objectives you plan for me," I said, being a little blunt but regretting my foul mouth as soon as the words slipped out.

Gyoji grimaced at me, "Well, I have an objective for all of you to do, and that's to destroy the Iga Clan," 

Iga Clan. 

The name had sounded familiar to me, and even something legendary was about its word. 

I gave Gyoji a knowing look and wondered what he meant by Destroy.

"You don't mean the clan that Fujibayashi Nagato, ran all them years ago?" I asked, as my voice was a little hushed.

Gyoji looked at me, at a loss for words, "You know of him and his rats?" 

I nodded my head, "Well, yeah, sort of. Back in New York, Donnie had all these books about the stories of Japanese Cults from the fourteen-hundreds, his legacy had traveled decades,"

"Yes, well, he at the time, was a good man, and he at the time took control of what he worked for and dedicated himself towards, and After he passed away of sickness, his son took a step into his throne, and changed everything about its ways- and soon, people were losing their lives, instead of being saved," Gyoji explained, with a sad expression. He looked worried, and by the look of it; this man was never this upset. 

"And they are still doing that?" 

"Worse. They are enslaving women, children, and even innocent animals, or creatures like yourself. They starve for mutated beings since the time they found out about it and what it was capable of, they have even tried to get their hands on these very weapons, but of course, everything we had to offer was twice the time more powerful than what they could ever bring- and now that Fujibayashi's legacy lives on, I think it's finally time they were taken down, and we- I, have waited centuries for the Warrior's to step up to the plate of it all, so please, Leo, Son, look into these things, because they are turning what is left of Japan's beauty into a Lazarus pit for the sick and twisted,"

I just looked at him and nodded my head of confirmation.

After I gave the word of my return, Gyoji sent me on my way and gave me his sweetest goodbye's, along with a case to carry back on my journey- 

I had pulled the hood back over my head and let the wind hit me hard, reminding me of what I just learned, and had been practically forced to do, and carry- 

I wasn't ready to return to the temple, but it was something that had to be done. 

I mostly feared to see Donnie, and what he had for me. I knew by now, he truly hated me. I came into his room, and had my way with him, and left at first light giving him only the saddest excuse of why I'm leaving- 

I remember the kiss I planted on his temple before leaving- And I remember how amazing his body felt against mine while we nuzzled one another while we slept.

I remember how confusing everything suddenly had become for me, and still is. I had no clue what came over me, and what type of control I had on myself. And wherever it was, or even went- it wasn't there with me, and my body loved every second of it.

I was longing for the same control again; but Donnie, he still had his reasons. And those were reasons I still refused to forgive myself for. 

When I got to the jungle, I knew I wasn't far. I eventually found the same trail I had made for myself before I left that morning- and as I was approaching the temple, I felt my heart began to pound in my chest and for once, I was nervous. 

I knew Raph wouldn't be happy to see me either, and I'm sure that by now that everyone in the house would know about my disappearance, and question why and what and how. And inside, I was trying to fully prepare myself for all of it.

I took a step onto the front porch and only hoped that the door was unlocked. 

It wasn't long before Donnie had made us all keys for this place, and it was actually kind of nice. It was different and kind of; Relaxing in a way of knowing we had full control over a home, from top to bottom. 

I reached for the door handle and turned it with the relief of it being unlocked and pushed it open. 

I peered into the living area and saw no one. 

I sighed, and looked around, eagerly in the need to see that my family was safe. I stepped further inside and closed the door behind me, and I heard a few loud splashes from outside and some voices. 

I figured that everyone was out by that pool, Mikey was so excited about and when I got to the back windows, sure enough; everyone including Raph was there. I released the pressure on my shoulders and smiled at what a relief it was to see them. And to know they were safe. 

I saw Donnie perched on the side of the pool, with a book in hand and his feet stuck in the water. He was wearing some cute beach shorts, and a pair of sunglasses he I'm sure, saved just for an occasion like this. 

He was mouth-watering to look at. Especially under all of this heat; and Sun. 

I couldn't grasp at how great he looked right about now, and all I wanted was to be there with him and sitting next to him, with my own feet in the water. I wanted to be able to wrap my arm around him and give him a kiss without worrying about what the others will make fun of. 

I sighed and gave myself a moment to close my eyes and retreat to my room. Where I removed the robe I wore, and the case I carried. I placed it neatly at the end of my bed, along with my first set of blades. 

I held one of the new ones in my hand and admired its length, its weight and all of its beauty right before me.

"So, when were you planning on telling us that you were back?" 

I didn't move, nor did I react to the sudden sound of Donatello's voice behind me.

"I um, I didn't think anyone would care, honestly-" I responded, hastily sliding the blade back where it was before.

"Why wouldn't we? We've all been pretty worried, especially when Raph disappeared right after you did," he said, obviously serious about this subject.

Why would Raph leave? Knowing him, it was just to blow off steam. 

I turned to face him, "Look, Donnie-" I saw his eyes, and I stopped. I keep forgetting what it's like to see Don without his glasses. 

I wonder who's fault that was. 

He looked at me, as his eyes trailed me up and down, wondering why I had stopped speaking so suddenly and I backed away a step or two, "Look um, I'm sorry about- well, I'm sorry for walking out- I had to go and find out a few things, and I found out a great deal,"

Donnie's lips pursed, and my mouth went dry- "Did you go looking for Dad?"

I sighed, not really wanting to tell the truth, but there wasn't a way out of this one, "Yeah, Yeah I was,"

"Leo, we made a deal, we said we weren't gonna mess around with that!" he raised his voice and glared at me. 

I sat at the end of my bed, and rested my hands on my knees, "Yeah, I know what deal we made, Donnie, but I don't care! I care way more about having my way with dad and giving him a piece of my mind, and I know that you and Raph wanna do the same!"

"No, I do not!" he retorted, stepping forward and clenching his fists at his sides. 

I knew this was coming- the shouting and yelling and damned fighting- 

I stood up and looked right at Donnie who looked enraged with anger with even the sight of me alone, "I don't wanna do this, Donatello,"

"Do what huh? The only thing you can do is run away!" 

I grabbed Donnie by the arm and yanked him forward, to only hear him release a quiet whimper of resist and with a quick movement, I pushed my lips against his, and with having that sweet control return to me in waves. 

Donnie tried to fight me; and push against my chest to get me off him, but I needed this, I wanted him, and I wanted to feel him like I did all those nights ago. 

I forced my mouth on him and finally got my tongue in between his lips to feel his own. I braced my hands on his hips and brung him in closer and pressing our bodies together.

Donnie stopped fighting me, and dug his fingers into the flesh of my shoulders, as he kissed me back with the same amount of need and want in his soul. 

I pulled back a bit, inhaling a few breaths of air, and Don looked at me with wonder in his eyes, along with a bit of hurt. He leaned forward and let his forehead brush mine, as our eyes met. 

"Don't leave again," he whispered, as his hands wandered to the back of my neck. 

I stared at him as a small smile formed on my face, "Never," I responded, kissing him again.

ᵀᵒ ᴮᵉ Cᵒⁿᵗⁱⁿᵘᵉᵈ


	16. ᴰⁱˢᶜᵒᵛᵉʳ ᴬⁿᵈ Play

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> " ᵂʰᵃᵗ ᴵˢ Yᵒᵘʳ ᴾᵒⁱˢᵒⁿ "   
ᴵˢ ᵇᵃˢᵉᵈ ᵘᵖᵒⁿ ᶜᵒᵐᵖˡᵉᵗᵉ ᶠⁱᶜᵗⁱᵒⁿ ᵃⁿᵈ ⁱᵈᵉᵃ'ˢ ᴴʸᵈʳᵃᵏⁱⁿᶻ, ᴴᵃˢ ᶜᵒˡˡᵉᶜᵗᵉᵈ ᵒᵛᵉʳ ᵗʰᵉ ᵖˡᵒᵗ ᵒᶠ ʰᵉʳ ᶠᵃᵛᵒʳⁱᵗᵉ ᶠᵃⁿᵈᵒᵐ ᵒᶠ ᵃˡˡ ᵗⁱᵐᵉ, ᵀᴹᴺᵀ
> 
> Book Two Out Now! 
> 
> This Story Contains #Turtlecest. 
> 
> ໓໐ຖ't likē, ໓໐ຖ't rēค໓.
> 
> After Raphael and Leonardo think that their brothers are dead from a warehouse explosion, they mourn the deaths of what remained, including the lie and betrayal of their father faking his own death to keep them safe. Raph and Leo try to move on, but more than twenty surprises hit them in the face like a ton of bricks when Donnie and Mike return to the lair after a fight for adventure. Feelings begin to bloom over the loss. And drama forms and rains over their heads like a storm.
> 
> Falling In Love With Your Own Sibling Was Never going to be easy-- but getting them to love you back was a challenge-- Only in reality-- they all loved each other just as equal. 
> 
> Read ᵂʰᵃᵗ ᴵˢ Yᵒᵘʳ ᴾᵒⁱˢᵒⁿ to find out what unfolds right before their eyes, and to be there every step of the way as these four brothers discover what true love and sacrifice truly means to have exactly what you want.

ᵂʰᵃᵗ ᴵˢ Yᵒᵘʳ ᴾᵒⁱˢᵒⁿ

ᶜʰᵃᵖᵗᵉʳ ˣⱽ

ᴰⁱˢᶜᵒᵛᵉʳ ᴬⁿᵈ Play

[ Michelangelo ]

"Leo, I don't wanna do any training right now!" I whined, throwing my weapons on the dojo mat. 

"Mikey- we've been over the plan, we've been over this--"

I shook my head, "No, this wasn't meant to be like this, this was a vacation, and now you've ruined it!" I shouted, glaring at Leo, who's face fell at my words. 

I was feeling particularly ornery today for some reason. I figured it was maybe the heat. I hated the heat. 

I swept the back of my arm over my forehead and wiped away what sweat clung to my skin. 

"What's up with you today?" asked Donnie as I entered the kitchen and grabbed a water bottle from the fridge. 

"Nothin'," I grumbled, taking a gulp from the bottle. 

I hear Donnie giggle, and I look at him, narrowing my eyes, "You're really cute when you're grumpy," 

"I am not Grumpy!" I growl, clenching my fist.

"Maybe it's the heat," Raph insisted as he entered the room, and I lowered myself, feeling smaller to the sight of the alpha. 

"The heat?- Oh! Right, you two are pretty prone to the heat aren't you?" Donnie grins, mixing up some contraption for what he calls Soda.

I heard Raph grunt in agreement and I hesitantly looked up at him from across the room. He was leaning on the sink and the pants he wore hung low at his hips. 

"Jesus," I muttered, "I uh, I'm going out by the pool," 

"I thought Leo had you another hour for trainin'-" Raph started, but I glared at him, and he stopped but glaring back in return. 

"We aren't meant to be training or fighting!" I said out loud, then I turned and strutted away from the kitchen and went outside, where I removed everything I was wearing- including my shorts and dipped my feet into the pool. 

I sat on the edge, watching my reflection whirl around with the motion of the water. I leaned back on my hands then dove in. I instantly began to relax as soon as my body was ingulfed with the cold water. 

I swam around underneath the surface for a minute, before popping back up for air. I poked my head out of the water and felt more refreshed than before, and a little less angry about things.

"You havin' fun?" Raph said, causing me to squeak in surprise. 

I looked at him from the end of the pool and nodded my head. Raph was still walking around without his mask on, and I wondered if he'd ever try to find it again or even make himself a new one. 

I was casually getting used to seeing him without it- though it was pretty strange, and pretty hot all at the same time. 

I cursed at myself for being such a perverted terrapin, but I was feeling a bit weird around Raph since what had happened. I knew that it was hypocritical of me, especially since I was the one who wanted it mostly- at least I think. 

"Yeah, fun," I said, swimming to the other end of the pool and back. I felt Raph's eyes on me, and for what seemed like ages, I felt really bubbly- a little nervous to just have him near me. 

I enjoyed Raph's presence, but I was confused. More than I thought I would be. 

I wondered if he was too. 

"You don't really seem up for talkin' that much, it's a bit of a shocker, if ya' ask me," Raph snorted, causing me to stop swimming and glare at him. 

"Why is it such a shocker that I'm not speaking?" I scoffed, lifting my hands out of the water and slowly walking towards him, "Oh, right- is it because Mikey isn't being an annoying little shit today?" 

Raph's grin stretched out wide on his face, and I began to regret the many steps I took towards him, "You really are hatin' this heat aren't you? I'm dealing with it better than you, and I'm the one who's always the angry one, but here you are, a little Raphael in the flesh," he laughed, which only burned me up more. 

"Screw you, Raph," I said, with a roll of my eyes, and I splashed him, and that's where I messed up-

Raph's pants were now spotted with water and he looked at me briefly before checking himself out, and he sighed heavily through his nose and glared right back at me. 

"I-I didn't mean," I started, but Raph sat down on the edge of the pool and hopped in, as the water only came a few inches above his waistline.

I gulped at the sight of him, and he closed in on me, "You splashed me," he said flatly and I sunk lower into the water, preparing to be hit- but instead, Raph used one arm to send a wave of water over my entire head. 

I flew under and came back up, and coughed once the water was out of my nose, "You're mean!" I croaked, trying to swim away from him, but he grabbed me and pulled me back to where I was. 

"I'm mean? Huh, didn't seem so mean the other night," he smirked, causing my cheeks to flush in embarrassment. 

"I-I don't wanna talk a-about that," I stammered trying to push past him, but Raph pinned both of my arms on each side of me and placed his hands on the back edge of the pool. 

"Why?" He mumbled, admiring my face, only to look concerned himself. 

"Raphael, please," I sighed, not meeting his eyes.

"Did you not want it? Mikey-"

I blushed deeper, finally looking up at him, and I shook my head, "N-No, it's not that- It's just, I'm a little confused," 

Raph's expression turned hard but straight, "Confused? Mikey you and I have sex and now you choose to be confused!" He shouted, and I panicked looking around us. 

I felt his hands tighten on the edge of the pool, and shook my head again, "Raph, please, would just keep it down!" I said a bit loud, but quiet enough. 

"Why? Cus you're afraid of what everyone else will think!" He shouted again, and I squeaked, grabbing his arm to try and soothe him. I wasn't ready for this; I couldn't handle another minute of tension between me and Raph. I hated fighting with him, and I hated seeing him fight with the others or even random strangers. I feared for his safety and his anger.

"Raphie," I muttered, and with the sound of my voice, the expression on his face loosened, along with the grip on the pool. 

He sighed, blowing that familiar hot air in my face, causing a shiver to go down my spine. Everything, in fact, was getting a little hotter, minus the water I was currently standing in. 

"Mikey- I," he began but shut his eyes to take a minute to himself, "I wanna say somethin' but I don't wanna ruin nothin' or make it more confusin' for you than it obviously already is,"

My curiosity perked, and from all the words Raph has already said to me in the past flashed through my mind, and I wondered if now would be a good time for him to actually spill what he was meant to tell me two days ago, and what Donnie refused to tattle. 

"Tell me now," I muttered, suddenly caressing his chest, and he watched my hands, knowing that his breath hitched as soon as I touched him. I locked eyes with him and blinked effortlessly hoping to show him how badly I wanna know what he's truly feeling and what he refuses to show to everyone else, except for me, "Please," I pleaded.

Raph stared down at me, "How would I explain it?" he asked, breaking eye contact with me for a moment then returning the stare shared between us both, "I guess I um, I guess I love ya, Mikey," 

My heart leaped into my throat and a small gasp escaped my lips, "Love me?"

"Yeah, love you, it's not just a brotherly type of love either, I guess I've kind of imprinted on ya," he chuckled quietly-

A small smile appeared on my face, and my chest was suddenly filled with what I had been dying to feel. 

Imprinting was always a myth I had heard of. But it was always an animal thing- and after learning bits and pieces about its description, it was truly something that had intrigued me for ages.

Maybe, this is what I've been feeling so crazy about. 

Imprinting-

"Mikey?" he mumbled, staring down into my eyes.

"I love you, Raphie," I whispered as my heart hammered against my ribcage. 

Raph's face lit up at my reply and he smiled and gave me one that I thought I'd never ever see.

I slid my hands up and around his neck, and hugged him closer to me and bringing his face to meet my mouth, and our lips locked, and lit a fire deep within my gut, reminding me how good Raph's kisses actually are.

"Are you two done making out now?" asked Donnie as he stood inches away from the edge of the pool, completely catching me off guard. 

I hid in Raph's chest and my face reddened at Don's sudden entrance. 

Raph turned, as his arms clung around my waist, "I'll be done when you and Leo confess," he grinned, placing a soft kiss on my temple. 

"Raph," I muttered, clearly embarrassed. 

"I don't think we need to with all the noise we've been making here lately-" Donnie briefly smiled, while fiddling with his fingers nervously-

"So, have you two finally made up?" Raph questioned, not letting go of me.

I noticed Don give us a shrug- "Made up?" I asked, looking in both Raph's and Donnie's direction, "Have you guy's not been close since- the fight?"

"We haven't really got along for a couple of days, even after we um," Don rubbed the back of his head, and I saw a smirk form on Raph's lips, and he laughed. 

I stared at him then at Donnie's reddening face, "So, You two did do it?" I asked suddenly and Raph glanced down at me with an amused expression. 

"Well, if you wanna put it that way- heh, this place has a weird effect on me, and obviously I'm not the only one," he said with a sly grin.

"Well, at least me and Mikey here ain't gotta be ashamed for all the noise we made, huh?" Raph chuckled again, lightly rubbing the very top of my head. 

"There is something that I did come out here for though; and Leo is actually one of the reasons, and he wants to see us, as in; all of us, in the dojo," Donnie explained, crossing one arm over the other. 

"Why?" Raph asked, finally letting go of me, and leaving me with the return of emptiness. He sauntered to the edge of the pool to get a closer look at Donnie and climbed out- giving me a perfect view of his behind. 

"He said he wanted to talk about his trip and what not; because apparently, those weapons weren't the only thing he brought back with him," Donnie responded, looking between the two of us as I climbed out of the water. 

"I don't really give a shit about Leonardo's special trip on findin' Dad. I thought we had an agreement about that?" Raph bluntly retorted as I retrieved what clothing I left on the stone floor. 

I stood up straight; "We have to at least make sure he's okay you guys, what he did, wasn't all that bad," I shrugged.

"Are you kiddin' me, Mikey? That old fool used you!" Raph growled, and I looked at him, lowering my stance for a moment then strolling inside, leaving the sliding doors open. 

As I slid my shorts back on, I quietly made my way into the dojo, where I found Leo, training all by himself, but when I entered he stopped and gave me an unknowing look of why I was probably the first one in here. 

I sat on the floor mat and fiddled around with one of my nunchucks I had picked back up once I returned. 

"Everything okay?" Leo asked me, standing only a few inches in front of me now, who I glanced up at and gave a warm toothy smile. 

"Course," I answered, as Donnie and Raph entered the room. 

Leo turned his attention towards the others, hand gripping the handle of his katana, "Ready to begin?" 

"Begin what? You gonna give us another lame speech about your troubled little trip," Raph snorted, not bothering to take a seat as he wasn't taking this thing as seriously as our leader was. 

I saw Leo's face harden, and turn smug at Raphael's remark, and I knew eventually a fight would break out with these two. It always did.

"No, but it does have to do with the information I learned and was told about our new investments," Leo explained, waving his blade into the thin air in front of him, and holstering it at his shell. 

"I'm not sure how I like mine," I said, carefully gesturing to my new toys that had thin knives attached to the ends, "I'm not very good with sharp objects," I then noted making the blades slide back into the ends. 

Leo eyed me, and so did Raph making me lightly blush, and I quietly placed my hands back into my lap, where I crossed my legs, "Well, you will get good, Mikey," Leo said, returning his attention to my two eldest brothers. 

Donnie was standing patiently with his hands behind his back, but I could obviously see his tail wiggling and wagging at Leo's presence. It poked out of the back of his shorts and I giggled suddenly- causing Donnie to look straight at me. 

I covered my mouth and grinned widely at him behind the palm of my hand. He gave me a confusing look and slowly looked back towards fearless, where he was rambling on about our new weapons. 

"We all must be extra careful with how we use them, they hold more power than what we are used to- even I am being cautious with my moves, and so should the rest of you," Leo explained, teaching on of his subject. 

I bit at my lip and played around with the ends of my bandana, where I wasn't really listening until the word power was spilled from Leo's mouth, and I looked up-

"Wait- Powers? Like, superpowers?" I excitedly asked, standing up to my feet, and suddenly being more intrigued to learn more about the new weapon upgrades. 

Leo cocked his head, and debated on his answer and my reaction, "I'm not sure what type they hold, we just have to be careful is all I'm saying- and Gyoji was telling me about an assignment- a job he wanted me- including the three of you, to look more into the Iga Clan, and I figured you, Donnie, might know a little more about it than any of us do, or ever would, though it sounded familiar," 

Everything suddenly got confusing and I noticed Raph's face take a turn for a minute, but then he crossed his arms and didn't say a word. 

"Hm," I hummed, crossing my own.

"Iga Clan? Was there anything else he told you about it?" Donnie asked, fingers twitching around with his watch, and pulling up a screen and diagrams of squiggly information I had no clue about. 

Leo placed a hand on his hip, thinking for a moment, "He mentioned something about, Fujibayashi Nagato, and I've heard of him, and seen his work within some of the books you've shown me,"

"Fuji was practically the captain of his industry- including of the clan Iga, and Koga, Japan," Donnie said, scrolling through some pages until his finger came to a stop, "Most of his troops were eliminated around the fifteen-hundreds, but even then his family wouldn't allow them and his original landmark to go extinct; so his son was placed in charge of Iga, and Koga after the defeat of their sworn enemy- Oda Nobunaga,"

Raph continued to stay quiet and stood by as the conversation carried on between the two of our brothers, and I remained to listen to this bizarre story but kept my attention on Raphael, reminding myself to keep a close eye on him. He wasn't acting right.

"Gyoji was telling me after his son was crowned the ownership, things started to get bad; that people began to disappear, and it was lawed out that women and children were being kept in camps, villages for slavery and being raped, and tortured- even murdered for looking or walking the wrong way," Leo grimaced, causing me to cringe at such words. 

"Children?" I silently commented, looking right at Leo, and he nodded his head. 

"Guys," Raph butted in, sounding just as hushed as me and everyone looked at him, waiting- "I have somethin' to tell you," he said, running a large green hand over the top of his head and down the back of his neck. 

"Raphael, we don't have time for another sarcastic-" Leo began,

"Shut up, Leo!" Raph snarled, obviously torn up about his upcoming words, "It has somethin' to do with that stupid clan you were talkin' about and- you guys remember when I went out; and I came back the next night; right?" he asked.

"Yeah, the night, that me and Mikey waited up for?" Donnie rolled his eyes. 

Raph nodded frantically and looked at me briefly; seeing the wonder in my eyes, and the confusion forming on my face and possibly regretting what he was about to say to either of us. 

What was he so scared for?

"That first night; when I went out; and Mikey- You remember when I walked off and just left you there on the trail?" Raph asked in my direction.

I nodded, "Yeah," giving him annoyance in my voice. 

"Well, I actually came across a village, and I could hear gunshots and shouting- but with the closer I got the more I could hear cryin' and pleads, and I couldn't just not check things out- Ya' know?" he looked around, everyone seeming puzzled, "I saw people, in cages, and there were children, and a boy that-" He started off with, but trailed on his mention of this person.

"Raph?" Leo asked as emotion was rising in his voice. 

Raphael looked back at everyone, as his eyes darted from each and every one of us, "I was snoopin' around and got caught by some wimp with a Glock, and he tried to threaten me; but was talking in a different language, and I had to knock him down, which led to me getting caught again," he admitted with a sigh. 

"Did you get away?" Don asked, suddenly sounding concerned himself.

Raph shrugged, "I couldn't risk gettin' shot in the face, so I just stood there, and eventually these fools, some knock off soldier lookin' guys were surroundin' me and knockin' me down with blows to the head, and I woke up sometime later, and I was tied down, which wasn't very smart on their hand,"

I listened, and actually listened this time, becoming totally invested in Raph's story- I was suddenly taken in waves of curiosity and realization. 

"Did they hurt you?" I asked, meeting Raph's eyes across from the floor mat. 

"I mean it hurt; but nothin' I can't handle, Mikey," he grinned, making me smile a little with relief. 

"What else happened, Raph?" Leo questioned, stepping forward, and Raph looked down and becoming slightly hesitant.

"When I woke up- everything I had brought with me, includin' my clothes were taken- and I eventually met some man, who had it in his head that he was in control; a real dick head, and he um," Raph stopped, swallowing the lump in his throat, "-There was a boy and his mother next to me in one of those damned cages, and he was askin' me all these questions, and he didn't really seem all that scared of me, so I told him, um, I told him that I'd take care of these men, and I wasn't here to hurt anyone- and when the man, the quote on quote, leader, finally greeted me and he mentioned how interesting I was- and during this, the little boy shouted somethin' at him, and the man, he- um, he didn't like that one bit," 

Raph seemed to be speaking a bit faster now, and looked frightened at the reminder of his memory-

I wanted to make him stop because I didn't like where this was going- it was sick, twisted. 

Raph looked between us, "The man, whatever his name was, he didn't like how the child was speaking so fluently and he grabbed him through the bars and stuck a knife straight into his throat and- he, he um, he cut his fuckin' head off right in front of me! And I snapped, I really snapped, and I broke out of those damned restraints and hit him as hard as I could, and fought off who and whatever came at me, to later find out that one of his pathetic guards was the one who took my sai's,"

"Jesus, Raph," Donnie said, as Raph's explanation left Leo speechless. 

"That dick head, who murdered that innocent- child, came back; and was talkin' all this shit to me, and tellin' me that I didn't know who I was messin' with! And I just- I launched myself at him, and cut right into his fucking face! I was stabbing so deep that his body just hung there in my hands, and he was lifeless, and as he was dying- I looked into the bastard's eyes and told him that whatever chance in hell he got at finding peace, he didn't deserve it for taking a child's life!" Raph yelled, filling the room with his growls, causing me to tense up, as my body was filled with the fury matching his own.

I ran across the dojo and clung to him while wrapping both of my arms around his huge waist; and I just stood there, nearly taking his breath away at the sudden contact. I hugged him close to me as I buried my face in his plastron. 

I felt him place a hand on top of my head, and caress it there, and rubbing it softly- which I happily obliged to nuzzling into. I purred in happiness, knowing that only I could comfort Raph this way- and not caring what the others said, nor made fun of. 

I loved Raphie and all of his sides, and even with the story he just told me, and the rest of us; I reminded myself to never love him any less from the mistakes he made, nor what he said or done to me in the past. 

"I'm sorry you had to go through that, Raphael," Leo said, resting a hand on his shoulder, and giving him a frown, but Raph didn't take his attention away from me, as I looked up at him, while I planted my chin firmly on his chest and he smiled at me, suddenly forgetting all about the pain he caused for himself to tell the tale he explained. 

"Sounds like we've got another enemy to dispose of," Donnie remarked, as Raph finally looked away from me and nodded his head. 

"It won't be easy-" Leo sighed, staring down at me suddenly- 

"Nothing we do or take on is ever easy Leonardo, You know that-" Donnie responded, coming over to him, and placing a chaste kiss on his lips, where Leo's face reddened, "But we've handled worse," he smiled, trying to lighten the mood, as he placed yet another kiss on Leo's mouth, but this time he returned the favor and kissed back.

I giggled quietly at the sight; "So, I guess while you two are off boinking- me and Raphie, will take care of all the bad guys," 

Leo pulled back from Don, obviously almost forgetting about the other two in the room.

He shook his head, and smiled abruptly- "No, it's Turtle Time," 

ᵀᵒ ᴮᵉ Cᵒⁿᵗⁱⁿᵘᵉᵈ


	17. ᴬ ᴸᵉᵃᵍᵘᵉ ᴬⁿᵈ ᴬⁿ ᴬˢˢᵃˢˢⁱⁿ

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> " ᵂʰᵃᵗ ᴵˢ Yᵒᵘʳ ᴾᵒⁱˢᵒⁿ "   
ᴵˢ ᵇᵃˢᵉᵈ ᵘᵖᵒⁿ ᶜᵒᵐᵖˡᵉᵗᵉ ᶠⁱᶜᵗⁱᵒⁿ ᵃⁿᵈ ⁱᵈᵉᵃ'ˢ ᴴʸᵈʳᵃᵏⁱⁿᶻ, ᴴᵃˢ ᶜᵒˡˡᵉᶜᵗᵉᵈ ᵒᵛᵉʳ ᵗʰᵉ ᵖˡᵒᵗ ᵒᶠ ʰᵉʳ ᶠᵃᵛᵒʳⁱᵗᵉ ᶠᵃⁿᵈᵒᵐ ᵒᶠ ᵃˡˡ ᵗⁱᵐᵉ, ᵀᴹᴺᵀ
> 
> Book Two Out Now! 
> 
> This Story Contains #Turtlecest. 
> 
> ໓໐ຖ't likē, ໓໐ຖ't rēค໓.
> 
> After Raphael and Leonardo think that their brothers are dead from a warehouse explosion, they mourn the deaths of what remained, including the lie and betrayal of their father faking his own death to keep them safe. Raph and Leo try to move on, but more than twenty surprises hit them in the face like a ton of bricks when Donnie and Mike return to the lair after a fight for adventure. Feelings begin to bloom over the loss. And drama forms and rains over their heads like a storm.
> 
> Falling In Love With Your Own Sibling Was Never going to be easy-- but getting them to love you back was a challenge-- Only in reality-- they all loved each other just as equal. 
> 
> Read ᵂʰᵃᵗ ᴵˢ Yᵒᵘʳ ᴾᵒⁱˢᵒⁿ to find out what unfolds right before their eyes, and to be there every step of the way as these four brothers discover what true love and sacrifice truly means to have exactly what you want.

ᵂʰᵃᵗ ᴵˢ Yᵒᵘʳ ᴾᵒⁱˢᵒⁿ

Cʰᵃᵖᵗᵉʳ ˣⱽᴵ

ᴬ ᴸᵉᵃᵍᵘᵉ ᴬⁿᵈ ᴬⁿ ᴬˢˢᵃˢˢⁱⁿ

. . .A Week Later. . .

{ Slight Smut Warning }

[ Michelangelo ]

I could hear birds chirping- and for once, I was waking up to sunlight peeking through my window. 

I ducked my head beneath the blankets to avoid the lighting and I turned over, being greeted by a much larger shell. 

Raph.

I smiled a bit; and pressed the tip of my finger to the red pattern on his carapace. I traced it along the colorful lines and curves. When I got to the end, I noticed Raph's tail. Which I had to my surprise, never seen before. 

It was a little longer, and thicker at the base than mine was, and it was kinda cute. 

I giggled quietly and glanced up to where Raph's head was placed on his side of the bed. I moved back underneath the sheet and carefully poked his tail. Though it didn't move, and it was obvious that he was dead asleep; which only made what I had planned even better. 

I poked it again and ran my finger along the emerald green flesh of his tail, and it wiggled beneath my touch. I held back another giggle, and I heard Raph grunt at the attention and he moved to his stomach and grabbed ahold of his pillow, and held it tight.

I bit at my lip, as things were only getting better. I couldn't wait to tease, Raph. He hated it. Which is why I was the only one to do it. It used to be a playful excuse to get him to get mad, and chase me occasionally-

But now; I guess those days were kind of over because now, he was officially all mine. And my brothers knew it. 

I leaned in closer, taking in the textures of the back of his thighs and the way his muscles bulged out from beneath his skin. I could drool at the sight of Raph, let alone the way he spoke when he was irritated. 

I placed a kiss on his thigh; and trailed further up, continuing the routine and getting to the very end of his carapace, where his tail positioned itself between the crevice of his legs. 

If Raph woke up and saw me doing something like this, he'd probably yell at me or something- I'm sure he'd be too embarrassed to admit the attention he got from me like this would clearly turn him on. And I couldn't wait to hear him say it. 

I stuck my tongue out; and ran it flatly down the base of Raph's tail, and it twitched at the touch. I did it a second time, but this time while sticking the tip into my mouth, and lightly nibbling on it. 

With that; a bolt of electricity was sent up Raph's spine, and he shot up from his pillow with a whimper coming straight from his lips. He was fully awake now, and he ripped the blankets off of me and spotted where I lay- and gave me a slight glare. 

"What the hell are ya' doin', Mikey?" he asked, with sleep still in his voice. 

I smiled innocently at him and placed my hands flat on the sheets, "Nothin' just thought I saw something interesting back there," I giggled, and Raph stood up to his knees, and turned to face me. 

"Don't touch there," he warned, and it only made me giggle further.

"But why Raphie? I let you do it to me, kind of unfair if I have limits on where to touch my mate," I grinned, and Raph sighed, sitting back with his knees up, but spread, giving me a perfect view of what's going on between his legs. 

"You're an annoyin' little shit, Mikey- but I can't stay mad at you," he said, giving me a small smile, and motioning me closer. 

"Because I'm always right!" I joked, crawling closer to him, and right in between his legs. 

"Yeah, sure, Mikey, whatever you say-" he said, grabbing me by the back of my neck and pulling me in for a tight kiss. 

Our lips touched in what sync I missed every single second our lips were apart. I pushed my mouth harder against his, and he noticed my greed, and could probably smell my heat. I pulled apart from his face, and let my lips fall to his throat; causing him to lean his head back and groan slightly as I bit at the flesh of his neck. 

I kissed further down, in need for something I've been wanting to try for a while now, that I knew Raph would enjoy-

"Mikey- what're you doin',?" he asked with a quiet voice, but with how husky his sleepy tone remained to me, it made me almost spontaneously stick my tail in the air, and wait for him to take me. 

But this time, I had to keep myself in control- and stay focused on my target. 

"Shh," I purred and carried my mouth down Raph's plastron, where I found the slit to his opening and I glanced up at him, as his face was already getting red. It was a sight to never be forgotten. I never thought I could make the big bad wolf, blush.

I giggled playfully and kissed around the opening- as I felt him tense up, and gasp a little. I watched up at him, admiring his face. I ran my tongue over his slit and he quivered. 

"Come on, Raphie," I urged, stroking his inner thigh and running my hand down to where his tail poked out from underneath him and showed me his most intimate parts. 

"It might take a little more than that, Michelangelo," he said, causing me to look up, "I'm not gonna give up that easy-" 

"Please," I muttered, lapping over his slit again, knowing that he was just straining to release himself, "Please, Raphie," I begged, pinching the tip of his tail, causing him to buck his hips.

"Fuck!" he rasped, as his cock came tumbling out from hiding and I grabbed ahold of it with praise. I smiled up at him with evilness in my eyes, but he knew they were lust-filled. 

"Thought you said it would take a lot more?" I smirked playfully and stuck my tongue out at him and he grimaced at me, waiting for my next move, though I knew he was practically begging me to put my tongue to work. 

"God, Mikey would you just-" he started, but I didn't bother listening to him as I was already licking the underside of his shaft and tonguing the pre-leakage dripping down from the head. 

The taste was unbearably sweet; as the richest of all honey and maybe a hint of salts. Otherwise, it was a taste I needed to devour. And my mission was to get every last drop from the big bad turtle above me who was pawing at the back of my skull.

"I think Raphie is being a little impatient," I giggled, and continued to work my tongue lower, then back up, as the entire base of Raph's cock was coated with my saliva.

"I didn't think you even knew what this-" he rasped again but louder at the sight of me swallowing his erection. 

I murmured around its girth and slid it deeper, and eventually having the tip poke at the back of my throat; where at first, I almost gagged while trying to give myself a ragged breath of air through my nose and continued from there.

The swelling organ in my mouth was exhilarating and simply tasted like any human flesh probably would. But this one was special. It was my lover's, and I wanted to give him my all. 

"Jesus, Mikey- how," he groaned, hips twitching at the sight between his legs as I swallowed further, and taking every last inch to the bone. And the burning in my throat only pushed me on more, to know how far I really could go with all of this. 

I focused my hooded eyes on his expression and the way he was staring back at me. I placed my hands on both of his thighs for a little leverage in the speed I was accelerating in. Raph's lips parted in what surprise he was taking in right in front of him. 

I pulled up, locking my lips around his tip, and flicking it with my tongue a couple of times before sinking back down until my snout brushed lightly at his plastron. 

This was what I had always wanted; 

I was making Raph come undone, and the control; the pleasure just from the sight and adrenaline alone was just the feeling I had been searching for all of these years. It was addicting and I just couldn't pull myself to stop, nor could I end this here, not even with how badly I wanted him to fuck me, then we lie here for another hour, then go grab breakfast. 

I needed him to cum, and not just because of me, but because of what I was doing- and going as painfully slow as I was going at this rate, Raph was getting even more impatient. But I needed him to understand that I wanted this to last before we were called upon for that stupid mission I still didn't agree on. 

I stared up at my alpha, and he grabbed the back of my neck, pleading for a faster pace, and I happily obliged, and sank down, over and over again, but going in from different angles while wrapping my tongue around his member, and slurping up what juices I could. 

"Fuck, Mikey-" he churred, gyrating his hips into my mouth, causing a churr of my own to erupt from my throat; and Raph convulsed underneath me while clamping his hand down on top of my head to force me down further, "How the fuck are ya ah~ so good at that?" 

I answered with another churr of my own, and sunk down as deep as I could go, and Raph threw his head back at the bob of my own, while I swallowed him, and hallowed my cheeks around his massive cock, as streams of sperm shot down my throat. 

I pulled my mouth away as the burning in my throat was worsening by the minute, and the last bit of cum landed on the tip of my nose, and lips. I giggled quietly and began to lick up the rest and clean everything up. 

Raph lifted his head back up to look down at me, his cheeks were painted with a light shade of red. He shifted uncomfortably as I tongued teasingly at his softening member. He removed his hand from my head and grabbed ahold of my bicep and yanked me into his lap, where he planted a firm kiss on my lips, intrigued to taste himself, and he pulled away and gave me an improving grin, and stuck his tongue out to lick away the rest of what was on my face. 

I started laughing and pushed against his chest; not really expecting something like this coming from him, "Raph!" I giggled, "Raphael, quit it!" 

He continued until I assumed it was all gone, and once he was done, he kissed me again, this time a little more needy than the last and pulled me in tighter until our chest's pressed together. I with an instinct wrapped my elbows around his neck and pulled his head in further to my mouth as our kissing was molding into something a little more intimate. 

He smiled into my mouth, and pulled away for a moment to let us catch our breath, "I think we should go see if the others are up," Raph said, causing my shoulders to shrug and a sigh to escape my lips.

"I really don't wanna go on another dangerous mission," I hugged him, "This was meant to be our time away from ya know, all that junk," 

I felt his chest rise then felt as his own sigh greeted my inner ear, "I'm not too happy about it myself; but we can't just sit around, lettin' it all godown, because I mean, Leo kind of screwed us over, and so did the rat,"

I raised my head up, and looked him in the eyes, "Raph, he's still our dad,"

He rolled his eyes and carefully shoved me off him, where he crawled out of bed and found his pants eschewed on the floor, and slid them on one leg at a time. 

"He ain't mine anymore," Raph mumbled and glaring at me over his shoulder before he left the room, leaving me by myself. 

I huffed loudly at his stubbornness and followed shortly after brushing away the gunk in my teeth and collected my own shorts from the flooring next to the bed. 

I thought for a moment if Raph would ever forgive Sensei for everything he's done. I wasn't so sure if I should but everyone, especially Raph, kept saying that he used me. And threw my own vulnerability into my face, where he took advantage of me. 

I wanted to see it like them; I really did. But even then, I couldn't just shun him away like some monster in the darkness. 

Plus, something else was tugging at my brain, and I wondered what Master Splinter would do if he found out about what truly has been going on between us all. 

The thought scared me.

I strolled into the kitchen, where I smelled eggs, and sure enough; that including bacon was sitting on a plate in the middle of the dining table. 

"Don't even think about it, Mikey," said Donnie, coming in from behind me, and lightly tapping the top of my head with a wooden spoon. 

"Ow," I pouted, "I wasn't gonna!" 

"Sure you weren't, nobody can resist Donatello's scrambled eggs," He grinned confidently while setting the table, and pointing towards one of the chairs, where I happily took my seat. 

I felt a little giddy to eat so soon, "Yeah, well, You're right about that one, Don, but where the shell did you even get the eggs?" I asked, eyeing the food curiously-

"I have my ways," he smiles, as Leo entered the room.

"Yeah, your way involves me getting them for you, and taking them from that blind lady at the food mark; we got a whole dozen of those things," he grinned and bumped Donnie with his hip, and laughed, as Don shoved a piece of bacon into his mouth. 

I gasped playfully "Hey! If Leo gets to eat then so should I!"

"We don't usually eat unless everyone is here," Don said, turning back towards the counter, where he was dicing up apples with a knife. 

"Uh, yeah, about that-" Leo began, and I stared at him, "Raph said he wasn't gonna be around to eat; he went on another patrol for the Iga Guards again at that village we scouted a couple of days ago," 

I frowned, and turned my attention towards my empty plate, "I think he was a little upset this morning-" I mumbled, taking a piece of bacon and nibbling on it. 

"About what?" Leo asked, sitting at the table with me, where Donnie soon joined us.

I shrugged, debating on whether to leave out details, "Um, well, we were," I felt my cheeks starting to flush as I looked between my brothers, where D, smirked at me and rested his chin on the palm of his hand, "After we woke up, and stuff, he mentioned something about Sensei and kind of stormed off," 

Leo gave me a hard but concerned look and dug into what food he had on his plate, and I did the same, as the silence grew around the table until Don spoke up, "So, um, What exactly were you two doing?" he asked, trying to sound as Innocent as possible, causing my face to go completely red.

"Donatello," Leo warned, and Donnie shrugged,

"What? I'm just curious is all," he smiled.

"Eat your food, and excuse your perverted thoughts from the dinner table," Leo said taking another bite. 

I smiled a little, and picked at my food for a second, "I wanted to try something new," I spoke with a mouth full, reminding myself of how full my mouth was earlier, and I laughed softly-

"Like what?" Don questioned while biting at his bottom lip, and Leo glared at him. 

"Well, it wasn't nothin' special, just uh, well, something I saw online before," I shrugged, "A woman was using her mouth on the dude, and um, yeah," I muttered, taking an even bigger bite of my eggs, as the table fell silent again, until I looked up and saw Donnie and Leo staring right at me, like they saw some sort of ghost, "What?"

"So you gave Raph a blowjob?" Donnie said with a grin, but such curiosity in his face. 

"Is that what it's called?" I laughed, and I saw Leo cracking a grin as well and Donnie nudged him underneath the table. 

"But how was it? I've uh, only seen what that sort of thing looks like in the videos," Don giggled. 

"Oh my god, would you horn balls shut up," he laughs, pushing away what crumbs are left on his plate. 

"Come on, Leonardo, You know you wanna know the juicy details too! You've even told me that you-"

"Donnie! Don't you dare!" Leo growls.

I eyed Leo, now curious myself, as I leaned on one arm, stealing yet another piece of bacon, 

"That he what?" I said pre-chew. 

"It's nothin' Mikey," Leo said, standing up from the table to put his plate away in the sink. 

"Aw, the fearless leader is scared to tell little oh' Mikey a secret!" I teased, picking up my own plate and finishing off what was left to join Leo at the sink. 

"I wouldn't call it much of a secret, Mikey-" Donnie chuckled, "Leo said the other day that Raphael was pretty hot," 

Leo narrowed his eyes at D, who was grinning from ear to ear. I looked up at Leo, who turned his attention back to washing dishes. 

"You think Raphie is hot?" I crossed my arms, and he sighed, not looking at me. 

"Yeah, alright? He is, so don't you go telling him I said anything- alright, Mikey?" Leo said, raising an eye ridge at me.

"Hmph," I said smugly and walked away from Leo, who didn't move from his spot. 

"I think someone is jealous," Donnie said in my direction, and I frowned a bit, then shook my head.

"I'm gonna go look for him, I'm a bit worried about him since he just stormed off again," I sighed, "I'm getting really tired of him doing this,"

"Chill out, Mikey- he can take care of himself," Donatello reminded me for what sounded like the millionth time. 

"Yeah, well to me, he can't always handle things by himself, bro, and neither of you knows him like I do," I said bluntly and meaning it for them to actually ponder on what I had said. 

Don was right. I was Jealous. But I'd never admit to it- nor did I wanna imagine myself as the jealous type, but I, unfortunately, knew the truth. And when Donnie told me that about Leo, it only made me wanna punch him or something- and I couldn't just react like that. 

But not because it wasn't right; but because I was a hypocrite because I too thought that each and every one of my siblings had their own type of sexuality- and it appealed to me more than I thought. 

Donnie was just the geeky, shy and kinky type, and Leo was all dominance and mysteries though Raph was too, but yet I have to discover all of them. I wanted to uncover all of their secrets, and dive into that shallow pool of whatever desires that I knew they held deep inside themselves. 

I shook the thought away from my head as I jumped from one tree to the other, and catching myself on one of the branches until I finally made it to that village, Leo mentioned earlier. 

I looked out and stretched my neck far in the same direction to make sure I didn't see anything off, but in the distance, I could hear something- maybe shuffling or some sort of discussion. 

My interest was peaked and I flung myself towards the ground and landed with a barrel roll, and I began to run towards the action, as things were getting louder. 

Please, don't be bad,

I jumped into some bushes and peaked out, and in front of the entrance to the abandoned village, I saw Raph fighting off some of those guards I saw a couple of days ago, and this time they had knives of their own and looked to be a lot more skilled than the last ones. 

The ones I saw had guns and a lot of em.

Why would they change anything about their set style of combat to something less lethal than their original?

I watched carefully to stay hidden away in the bushes until I thought that Raph might actually need my help, but by the looks of it; he didn't.

I thought maybe I was overreacting earlier, and have been the whole time about how Raph could just simply take care of himself. 

I watched with what little sadness I had in my chest; until I noticed one of the guards sneaking up on Raph, and with a leap, he jumped on the back of his shell. 

I lost it. 

"Raphael!" I screamed while jumping out of the bushes and headed straight for him. The closer I got to rip the guy off of him, Raph whipped around, and for a moment; everything felt so slow, but so fast all at the same time. Before I knew it- I was flying through the air, and landing roughly on my shell, and I cried out at the pain in my shoulder, and the stinging on my cheek. 

"Mikey?" I heard Raph mutter, as he ran over. 

I held my hand over the wound in my arm, knowing that Raph's sai didn't hold back on what he was aiming for. 

"What the hell were you thinking?" he asked a bit harshly while helping me up, "I didn't mean-" he started, but I shoved him off and stumbled to my feet while holding my hand over the cut.

I winced and shook my head, "You're right; what the hell was I thinking?" I said, scoffing- and Raph looked at me confused. 

"Mikey I swear I didn't mean to do that!" he yelled, making me tense up even more than I should have. 

I looked up at him, retorting my eyes with a hardline displayed on my lips, "You wanna know something Raphael?" I chuckled with a seed of sarcasm laced in my voice, "I'm getting really tired of you, getting all steamed up then leaving and running off because you can't handle much of anything emotionally related!"

"Mikey-" 

I shook my head frantically and turned away from him, "I'm tired of obsessing over making sure you're safe, or if you'll be okay when you run off and do something crazy! So, just-" I bit back the bitterness in my tone, "Try not to get yourself killed when I'm not here worrying about you!" I yelled, running off and going back to the temple, where I avoided any contact from Donnie and Leo. 

I luckily was able to slip into my own room, where I took some tissue from the bathroom and wrapped my arm with it; making it up with some sort of bandages. 

I wasn't able to sleep much once I lied down, nor did I care if Raph could either.

I couldn't help but miss him, and his arms wrapping around me to make sure I wasn't afraid of the darkness. I couldn't help but miss the things he'd whisper into my ear to make me giggle, or even the nips he'd give me on my neck-

I whimpered at the loss, and the pain I was so ridiculously feeling over something so stupid, but I was tired of things, and I was tired of fighting and hoping and praying none of us gets killed. 

I knew that would never end, but here, I wanted it to be sacred, and be different. 

I knew that what Raph said this morning was true,

Leo did kind of screw us, and the more I thought of all of this crap, the more I hated Sensei. 

The more I hated myself for getting caught up in that burning building to be chosen as Master Splinter's toy-

ᵀᵒ ᴮᵉ Cᵒⁿᵗⁱⁿᵘᵉᵈ

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Happy, Happy Thanksgiving TMNT Lovers & Bookworms! I really hope you're enjoying your Holiday and of course, my novel. I'm super proud of how it's rocketed to the sky since I posted on here. I'm still figuring this site out but I'm getting used to posting here. I only copy and paste the details into a new chapter after I've finished it. Remember, if you don't wish to wait for the next five chapters to be posted, then hop on over to Wattpad through my name as the same on here. On Wattpad, you'll find my contact info as well as Novel Two of The Poison Trilogy. Thank you guys so much for making this so enjoyable again! - Hydrakinz


	18. Sᵘᶠᶠᵉʳ ᵂⁱᵗʰ ᴹᵉ

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> " ᵂʰᵃᵗ ᴵˢ Yᵒᵘʳ ᴾᵒⁱˢᵒⁿ "   
ᴵˢ ᵇᵃˢᵉᵈ ᵘᵖᵒⁿ ᶜᵒᵐᵖˡᵉᵗᵉ ᶠⁱᶜᵗⁱᵒⁿ ᵃⁿᵈ ⁱᵈᵉᵃ'ˢ ᴴʸᵈʳᵃᵏⁱⁿᶻ, ᴴᵃˢ ᶜᵒˡˡᵉᶜᵗᵉᵈ ᵒᵛᵉʳ ᵗʰᵉ ᵖˡᵒᵗ ᵒᶠ ʰᵉʳ ᶠᵃᵛᵒʳⁱᵗᵉ ᶠᵃⁿᵈᵒᵐ ᵒᶠ ᵃˡˡ ᵗⁱᵐᵉ, ᵀᴹᴺᵀ
> 
> Book Two Out Now! 
> 
> This Story Contains #Turtlecest. 
> 
> ໓໐ຖ't likē, ໓໐ຖ't rēค໓.
> 
> After Raphael and Leonardo think that their brothers are dead from a warehouse explosion, they mourn the deaths of what remained, including the lie and betrayal of their father faking his own death to keep them safe. Raph and Leo try to move on, but more than twenty surprises hit them in the face like a ton of bricks when Donnie and Mike return to the lair after a fight for adventure. Feelings begin to bloom over the loss. And drama forms and rains over their heads like a storm.
> 
> Falling In Love With Your Own Sibling Was Never going to be easy-- but getting them to love you back was a challenge-- Only in reality-- they all loved each other just as equal. 
> 
> Read ᵂʰᵃᵗ ᴵˢ Yᵒᵘʳ ᴾᵒⁱˢᵒⁿ to find out what unfolds right before their eyes, and to be there every step of the way as these four brothers discover what true love and sacrifice truly means to have exactly what you want.

ᵂʰᵃᵗ ᴵˢ Yᵒᵘʳ ᴾᵒⁱˢᵒⁿ

Cʰᵃᵖᵗᵉʳ ˣⱽᴵᴵ

Sᵘᶠᶠᵉʳ ᵂⁱᵗʰ ᴹᵉ

{ Smut Warning }

[ Raphael ]

"What're you talking about; you hit him?" Leo barked, and I huffed, wishing he'd just lay off and accept the fact that I already feel bad enough.

"It was an accident!" I growled, "He jumped out at me right when I was swingin' some guy off of me. It was one of those dumb Iga guards, and I didn't even know he was there! It all happened so fast and I even tried to apologize!" 

Leo shook his head, and crossed the room to stand by the window, "Mikey has been off here lately-" 

"I could agree with that; he didn't even wanna eat anything this morning- and to my calculations, everyone here knows that Mikey would never turn down chocolate chip pancakes," Donnie pointed out while spinning his bo staff around, and practicing off a few moves Leo was recently trying to teach him. 

I looked down, "He doesn't wanna fight the Iga, nor does he wanna be involved with the Koga,"

Leo turned his head in my direction, "Well, he is going to fight whether he wants to or not,"

I glared at him, "You can't just force him to fight, Leo!"

"What I say goes, Raphael! I will not allow what he's learned over the years to just go to waste, just because he's being a big baby over this whole vacation thing!" he retorted, as I stood to my feet. 

"He isn't bein' a baby nor is he wastin' his time! This was meant to be a peaceful type of trip, and you went and blew it all because of your obsession with that damned rat!" I cursed, as Leo faced me, but now with a devil-like expression.

"That is not true, and don't you dare speak of him like that! I hate him just as much as the rest of you, but he is still our father!" Leo defended, pointing a finger at me.

"Aw, cut the crap, Leo, You want him back! So you two can have the perfect conversations, the perfection meditation sessions, and the perfect but private, father-son affairs!" I shouted, clenching my fists and pointing back at him. 

Leo scoffed, "Oh, I wonder why that angers you so much, Raph. Probably because you're jealous!" 

I growled and heaved in his direction, and stepped right up in his face, "Jealous of what? What is there to possibly be jealous of, huh? The only thing you've got is all talk and no muscle!" I said, shoving him, but he didn't move. 

"All talk and no muscle mean more knowledge, more nerve, and concentration that you will never have because your head was buried in our little brother's ass for the last ten years!" He yelled, shoving me back. 

I felt my entire body erupt with a boiling rage until Donnie stood between the both of me and Leo, and the only thing I could do was just stand there and take the smug smirk on that fuckers face. 

"Will you two stop!" Don interrupted, making me step back, as Leo did the same, "Look- I know you two have and always will have your differences, but we have something much worse on our hands to worry about; Leo, I love you, but you've become a selfish and self-centered leader since we thought our beloved Father, died. And Raph, I love you just as much, but you really need to let things go and think about what the heart wants," Donnie stepped away from us both and went back to his training.

I looked at Leo for a moment and his face was as straight as aboard.

"Hmph," I crossed my arms, and thought of something to maybe change the subject; 

"We're leaving tonight for Oomi, so be prepared," Leo said before heading towards the door. 

My eyes widened. 

We weren't even prepared for that yet and this jackass wanted to send us all off on a blind roll to find some guy we didn't even know about. 

I chased after Leo as he slipped out of the door, and I caught his arm, and he yanked it away as he stopped to glare at me, "You've gotta be kiddin' me!" I said, "You're going to send us all out there empty-handed! We don't even know what this guy looks like!"

"Raphael, I will not be questioned on what is to do, and what isn't; now you either will be prepared for what is to come, or be pinched as you call it and left behind," Leo warned, ripping away from me and trailing off towards the lounge. 

Donnie came to stand next to me, and put his bo away- "I don't particularly agree with this sudden choice, Raph, but I know you won't let him walk out there fighting alone, and you know Mikey won't either,"

I rolled my eyes at his words, knowing he was right; "Yeah, but I just wish this shit could have waited; you know? Leo is cockier than me,"

Donnie chuckled and nudged me slightly- "Yeah, I can see that too and believe me, I want this all to be over just as badly as you do, but we all can't have what we want; especially when your mate is calling all the shots," he shrugged with a reddening face, reminding me of my own. 

"I'm gonna go check on, Mikey" I announced, walking away from the dojo,

"He said to not bother him, Raphael," Donnie warned, as I gritted my teeth. 

"Does it look like I give a shit, D? I'm going to see him," I spat back, heading for the stairs. 

"Well, can you at least tell him about the change of plans, and maybe lighten him up about this whole thing-" 

I knew that no matter what I told Mikey- he'd never be on board with this whole thing nor agree to the idea. I've never seen him so secluded and laid back. I wished I could just end all of this unwanted attention, and give him the happiness I knew he'd like. 

He just wanted one week; or however long we planned on stayin' here to just chill, and keep a distance from drama, and bloodshed. 

I couldn't help but almost vomit from the guilt in my stomach. 

I reached Mikey's room and saw a crummy hand made do-not-disturb sign taped to the middle of his door. I cocked my head to one side, cringing at the scribbles of crayon, and grinned a bit at the knucklehead's lack of creativity-

Though that knucklehead with no creativity was the turtle I truly loved but hated all at the same time. 

I gave the door a couple of soft knocks and got no answer from the other side. 

"Hm," I hummed and turned the door handle to find it unlocked. I wondered if Mikey had left it this way on purpose. 

I went into his room and pushed the door closed with my foot, and as the door shut, I saw Mikey turn away from me and face the other direction in the comfort of his bed. 

The room was an utter clusterfuck, but it was Mikey's room after all. I sometimes found it completely repulsive, but cute in other times. 

I crept closer to his bed, and to the side, he was facing towards and I saw his sleeping face. His cheek was squished into the cushioning of the pillows, and one of his arms was wrapped around a spare pillow I assumed he just had pulled from the other side. 

I even saw a little drool, and it only made the smile on my face widen. I didn't wanna wake him, nor did I wanna interrupt the view, but- I needed the closure to ask for his forgiveness. 

I reached down, and carefully ran my finger across the messily bandaged up cut on his upper right shoulder, and let a sigh exhale from my nose. 

"Mikey," I huffed, running my fingers further up to meet where his jaw ends, and he shifted in his position, brushing against the palm of my hand. 

He barely opened his eyes to look at me, then closed them again to only open them once more, and shrieked at my presence. He yanked the sheet up over his head and pulled it back down to realize who I was. 

Mikey cut his eyes at me and pulled the blanket lower to reveal his mouth that I could easily devour, "Raph!" He half yelled as his voice cracked slightly, "You almost scared the shell off of me! The hell are you doin' standing over me like some creepy-monster?"

I couldn't help but laugh at his reaction. I carefully sat on the edge of the bed, trying to find a way to explain myself. 

"I guess I just like watchin' ya sleep, Mikey- it really turns me on," I grinned, digging a hand into the sheet where his stomach would be, and he let out a little giggle and shoved my hand away to stop me from tickling him. It was one of his weaknesses, along with any kind of chocolate you could think of unless it had nuts in it. 

"Knock it off," he smiled, pulling the blanket higher up over his body to cover himself.

"I came up here to check on ya," I said, tilting my head at him, and I could already see the color rising in his cheeks. 

He was truly fascinating to stare at sometimes, and it was all because of his goofy and careless personality that pulled me in. 

"Why though? I thought I told everyone to leave me alone," he frowned, looking away from me and lowering his eyelids to focus on something much else other than me. 

I shrugged, leaning over him as I admired his face and the way he shyly looked up at me again. The way his eyes would look at me and then the space between us. Mikey was the type, in my opinion, to never get nervous, but I guess I was the one to change that- and being this close to him was only making that more, and more clearer. 

"Yeah, I was told ya didn't wanna be bothered, but I simply just don't care what you want, Mikey," I said, leaning in closer, to have him give me a smug expression as I brushed the tip of my snout against his. 

"I still haven't forgotten yesterday-" he warned, causing my eyes to go wide then dilate slowly-

I lightly pecked his lips, and nodded my head, "Yeah, I know ya haven't and that's why I'm here, seein' if you'll forgive me," 

He raised a hairless eyebrow at me and pursed his lips, "Oh yeah?" he asked, sounding a little persistent, "And what if I don't?"

I looked at him for a moment; knowing what he was playin' at here. 

"I'll just have to make ya," I shrugged, crawling onto the mattress, and hovering over his body that still remained hidden beneath me. 

"Make me?" he laughed, shaking his head like this was some type of joke, though I knew he clearly had known when I meant business, "How are you going to do that?"

"However I want, Michelangelo," I said with very little excitement in my voice, displaying his full name, knowing he hated it when someone called him that unless of a serious matter.

His blush deepened, but the creases between his eyes meant that what I was doing was officially getting to him. 

I hadn't planned for this, but I truly wanted to do whatever to get him to forgive me for my out lash. Even if it meant something much more than a simple apology- 

I leaned further down, bumping our noses again, and I could tell he was frozen beneath that damned blanket of his. I had ridden him shocked at my approach, and it was of a comforting type of shock I knew I gave him. 

When I was around Mikey- I didn't have reasons to feel angry or flustered over dumb shit unless he frustrated me, which now was rarely ever since we both have invested further feelings for one another. It was something I wanted right off the bat when I knew he was alive. I saw him again, and pulling half-assed jokes, and stupid one-liners to embarrass himself, and instantly I knew how I felt for him. 

I argued with myself over a million times because of these emotions, and un-welcomed desires I knew that would erupt eventually- 

I had to come to the realization of who I was craving- and that was my brother. My baby brother. 

My baby brother who I wished to ravish and tear to pieces in the vilest, and disgusting ways possible. The damned reptile I knew I'd love and never wanted to be apart from no matter how annoying he was sometimes. 

"R-Raph," he spoke, but only of a whisper, as our noses continued to brush from one side to the other as I nuzzled his face.

"I'll do whatever I can to get you to forgive me," I whispered in return, connecting our lips and finally tasting the sweetness behind his tongue. 

I heard, and felt him whimper into my mouth, but continued anyway even if he was resisting- 

I had never been this dedicated to someone- this protective over someone and the need behind it all confused me so much and angered me in ways I couldn't fucking explain, but all I knew, for now, was that I wanted him. 

Only him.

I reached for his hands and grabbed them both from the knotted up sheet he was currently gripping onto and placed them against my chest where he dug his fingers into, and where he reminded me of the very first time he touched me in this exact way-

I let go, letting him touch me as I shoved my lips against his in the most devouring way possible, as I grabbed the sheet covering his body and ripped it off of him. The familiar warmth taking over my body was like a moth drawn to a flame. It was the heat; and the burn, it needed to survive. 

He gasped as the cold air unexpectedly hit his skin, where he was already pushing his thighs together, signaling me that he was enjoying all of this just as much as I was. I came in closer and lowered my own weight against his frame, and as soon as our bodies touched, he writhed beneath me and locked both of his ankles around my carapace, wanting more. 

Our lips never came apart until I attacked his jaw with nibbles and bites, welcoming the room around us with Mikey's quiet churrs. His sounds woke a stir in my groin, and I pressed my pelvis in between his thighs, knowing this wouldn't take long until I was ready to go- 

I then quickly reached for the buttons on my pants restricting my own release even further and unzipped myself but to only pull them down halfway- but just enough. 

Mikey, on the other hand, was beyond ready- and to the gift he was giving me with his body alone, meant the self-lubricating turtle beneath me wouldn't take much time either.

"Raphie, please," he bit back, letting another churr slip from his mouth, as I returned the noise with my own and ground myself against him, feeling his erection rubbing against my leg in between the space of our bodies, "N-Not like this,"

I slowed my pace but continued as I reached a hand down, lifting one of Mikey's legs further up to meet at my hip, and his toes curled at the corner of my eye, and I dove back into his throat where I questioned; "Why? I want you, Mikey- can't you see how badly I do?" I rasped, already feeling myself dropping down by the second. 

I felt him nodding his head and heard him panting into my ear, "Y-Yeah, but this- ah~" Mikey shrieked as I forced the head of my dick to catch on his hole, and with that, I didn't hold back and pushed myself into him. 

"Just accept it," I huffed, leaving wet trails on his throat and down to his chest. The tightness surrounding me was already too much to handle, but I couldn't stop there. I needed to show him, and get him to believe that even with something as small as this- I was truly sorry for hurting him. 

I moved into him, lowering myself into the space between his legs, and starting out painfully slow while my hand gripped onto the curve of Mikey's hip, "Please," I whispered, grunting at the pleasure shooting up my spine, "Forgive me, babe," and Mikey moaned loudly at my words, only causing me to increase my pace.

"R-Raphie, ha-" he whimpered, pulling my head in closer to nuzzle his neck again, where I returned my pattern of kisses, "Harder!" he pleaded, where I happily obeyed and changed up my angle, and fucked Mikey into the mattress as hard as I could. 

I was already close, and the sounds coming from my mate's mouth only pushed my release to the edge a lot faster. 

"Fuck, Mikey- I'm gonna, ah~ cum," I warned breathlessly as I pistoned myself into Mikey's body where he yelped out a warning of his own and gripped onto my shell. 

As I was thrusting into him faster, I grabbed Mikey's neglected erection and gave it a few tugs and pulls, and he threw his head back into his pillow, and I watched, feeling myself come undone at the transfixed sight right in front of me. 

"R-Raphael!" he churred, raising his voice to a loudening pitch, as the flood gates in my cock opened, while Mikey was cumming all over my fist and his plastron. 

"Shit," I said after a few seconds while catching my breath, and resting my head against the crook of Mikey's neck.

"Mm," I heard him hum in agreement, as his arms remained wrapped around me. 

I rose my head from him and took a look at his face, where he was still panting and looking at me with lidded eyes. I without hesitation, leaned back down and connected our lips again, and tangled my tongue with his own until I heard the turn of a door handle, 

"Guys we gotta start preparing for--" Leo started, as he barged in and caught the sight in front of him, and with an instinct; he quickly turned his head away- "Woah! I uh, I didn't um," 

"God, don't you know how to knock?" I asked harshly as I crawled off of Mikey where he was already holding back laughter. 

"I did!" Leo pointed out, still having his head turned as I fastened my pants.

"So, You knocked, but also didn't hear what was goin' on in here?" I said, glancing at Mikey- "I find that highly unbelievable, Leo, You probably just stood out there and listened until we were finished, and came on in to see if what was happenin' was really happening!" 

Mikey slapped the back of my head with his pillow and sat up, making a jump for the bathroom to probably clean himself up.

Leo finally looked at me and crossed his arms, "You guys could at least be a little more discreet,"

I grinned at him, already prepared for a comeback, "I'll start fuckin' Mikey a lot quieter when you get some type of control over your own dick, Genius," I snickered, pointing at the tent already forming in Leo's cargo pants.

He looked down and a feminine like gasp, I didn't think Leo had in him, slipped from his lips, and he quickly went to cover it up, as I continued to laugh.

"Shut up, or I'll force you to the Hashea tonight!" he growled, before turning around, and I stopped. 

"You couldn't do that; only Splinter done that to us for punishment- and I definitely ain't doin' it if he ain't here. Plus, Leo, I don't think you'd have the balls to put me there in the first place," I grinned, and heard him growl again at my response. 

"Look- I came in here to inform you both to be ready around eight-thirty," he said, leaving the room as Mikey returned from the bathroom, but didn't move from the doorframe. 

"Be ready?" Mikey asked, "Be ready for what?"

I looked down, almost forgetting about the change of plans, "Earlier, Leo told me and Don that we were leavin' for Oomi, later tonight,"

Mikey's face didn't change, he just kind of stood there but looked off to a corner in the ceiling- "Oh," was all he said. 

"Yeah, I'm really pissed about it; but there's nothing changing Leo's mind, and we can't just let him fight alone," I said, laying back on the bed. 

"But what're we gonna do? We don't know anything about that Fuji dude or whatever, and nobody has seen anything about his son and has no lead on the guy- he stays in the shadows like some ghost," Mikey rambled, obviously being closer to me now, until the bed sank down and he crawled up next to me. 

"I tried to say that to Leo, but somethin' has gotten ahold of him about this whole thing and whatever that guy told him in the mountains, must have been pretty serious for him to go after it so quickly- but what am I sayin'- Leo, always makes decisions without consulting with his brothers," I said, looking off at Mikey who seemed to be listening intently but staring at something that wasn't me. 

He was distracted by something- and the expression on his face only worried me. 

"I don't like any of this, Raph, I mean, yeah, we're taking down bad guys, woohoo, but like, what if it's not as easy as Leo thinks it's gonna be?" 

I sat up, "That's why we're gonna be there to take it all on together," I said, trying to reassure him, but the expression on his face didn't change. 

"I'm beginning to wish we didn't come here," he finally said, only worrying me further. 

Seeing Mikey like this, and seeing him so, quiet and tamed, but almost scared and even disappointed by this lost cause of a vacation, angered me to the point of where I wanted to rip his head off. 

I was proud to say for once I wasn't in over my head, but the great fearless leader was. 

"We have to prepare," I spoke calmly as I pressed my forehead against his, and our eyes finally met, "We have to be ready for whatever, and always keep our focus," 

He only nodded his head and gave me a quick kiss on the lips before hugging into me, where I held him for the next hour or two, until nightfall. 

The clock was ticking down, and we had about twenty minutes to kill before the strike of eight so, I helped myself to whatever apples were left in the kitchen as Donnie strolled in with Mikey in behind him, fiddling with a game boy that I knew didn't have any batteries in it.

"So, are we all good on the plan, and the mapping details?" Donnie asked, eyeing me then Mikey who still had his attention on the device in his hands until Don cleared his throat and his head shot up in his direction, where he gave him a quick thumbs up. 

"Yeah, I guess so," I agreed, practically answering for the both of us, as I took a final bite of my apple, and throwing it into the trash bin. 

"From what I gathered, the entrance to the Hong Kong Oomi temple is just south of the building- and it's pretty massive, so we should have plenty of cover to hide if needed, and some space to plan further ahead of ourselves in case we run into any danger," Donnie explained, tapping and scrolling with those images from his watch again.

"How the hell did you even find that place anyway?" I asked, leaning back in the chair I parked myself in. 

He gave me a smile that I knew he was proud of, "Well, Oomi isn't just a place where a king runs everything- it's like a farmers market and town type of thing as well. It's one of the reason's why Fuji's son is off the radar and has been for the last decade or so,"

"So, there are other people involved? Like, civilians?" I questioned, becoming a lot more worried about this whole taking down Iga shit.

Donnie hesitated at first but then gave me a frown, "Unfortunately yes," he answered honestly as Leo entered the room. Donnie went to give him a kiss, but Leo purposely brushed him off and went over to the papered map spread out on the table in front of me. 

Mikey noticed this and frowned at Donnie who shrugged and went back to his diagrams. 

"So, is everything set for tonight?" he asked, looking at me, then Donnie and Mikey over his shoulder.

"Everything should be. We better get going before it gets any later," Donnie announced before turning off the screen on his watch and headed out of the kitchen.

Leo followed, and Mikey waited for me before he even left the room, and soon we were all on a journey to a place that everyone including Leo, I'm sure, had a bad feeling about.

It took us almost half an hour to journey through the jungle to get to this place, but by the time we arrived, we understood just what Donnie meant when he said this place was a town. 

"This place is fuckin' huge," I said, dropping down by Leo, who lowered himself into the grass as we got a closer look over one of the fences. 

"Yeah, how are we even gonna find this guy?" Mikey whispered to Donnie, but Leo butted in and answered for him,

"With vision, and if any of you learned something- you'd know how to tell someone apart from the good guys," 

"Leo, this guy isn't gonna be roaming around outside at nine o'clock at night- he's gonna be up in those rooms or something- we're gonna have to dig deep if we're gonna find him," Donnie spoke up, but quietly as he lowered his goggles over his eyes and looked around to spot anything interesting-

The more we stood around like sitting ducks, the more I was getting pissed off. This was sloppy work- and I knew it wasn't going to end right. 

"Donnie, You and Mikey go left; and me and Raph will scout out the right side, but remember to use the signal if you guys need any help," Leo commanded, leaving me confused. 

"Signal? The hell are you guys talkin' about--" I questioned, as Leo signaled for me to be quiet. 

As I was following Leo's lead, I was getting even more uncomfortable with the thought of being further away and out of Mikey's sight. 

It was the first time in ages I wasn't actually able to see and know if everything was going okay with him. When I stormed off all those times, I knew he was safe, and I knew he was with the others. But this time, this time it was different.

More different than I thought it actually was.

Suddenly- Alarms were sounded off all over the area, and large beaming lights flicked on, covering the entire village, and revealing me and Leo's position. 

We both pounced into action, and I had my sai's on guard for any upcoming danger, "The hell is goin' on Leo?" I asked, on alert, "Donnie said this was some kind of town! This looks like a goddamn military forge!" 

He was quiet but then ran off in another direction.

"Leo!" I shouted after him as the alarms were getting louder, and I started to run, trying to follow him, but when I found him, those same men in uniforms were surrounding the area, directly in the middle of the village. 

He was there next to Donnie, but Mikey was nowhere to be found. 

"Don't move, reptile!" Said a man, shoving me forward with the barrel of his gun.

I looked around us, starting to panic.

There were at least ten to twenty men armed with either blades or guns, but much heavier than the last time I saw them. 

"Donnie," I quietly said, causing him to twitch his head in my direction, as he gripped the extended bo staff in his hands, "Where is Mikey?" 

Donnie was giving me a look I couldn't read. As if he was scared to tell me my answer. 

"Where is he!" I shouted as the man behind me hit me over the head. And something in me snapped again. 

I could see red like that time before, And right as the guard went to pull his trigger, I twisted my sai's and stabbed him right in the ribs, and his gun fired, causing my ears to start ringing- but I didn't care.

I pulled my blade out and slammed it right back in, as I whipped my left leg around to kick him off of me. Everything was moving so slowly- and I could see Donnie and Leo fighting for their lives. 

I was looking around frantically for the one person I knew I couldn't bear to see hurt. And he was nowhere to be found. 

The more men that came at me; the more I took down, even with bullets flying at me, and blades slashing in my face, I took them all down with hatred, and no mercy as blood splashed onto my hands, and onto my own knives. 

The alarms were sounding off louder, and I could hear someone shouting- someone calling for me. 

"Raph!" Leo screamed in my direction, and I looked at him blankly as time was still moving so slowly for me. I felt absolutely nothing- and only one thing remained on my mind. 

"Raphael, we have to go!" Donnie shouted, pulling on my arm and breaking me from my thoughts. 

"No!" I growled, yanking away from him, "Not without Mikey!" 

"Raph, we will find him, but we have to go, we have to now!" Leo yelled as Donnie grabbed my arm again, and the anger inside of me boiled over the edge-

"This is all your fucking fault!" I spat at him and shoved past him and running towards the exit in which we came from. I didn't care whether they were following me, but I knew if I looked back, the only thing I was going to be capable of doing was turning around and beating the shit out of Leo, or running back there to find my mate. 

The thoughts that ran through my mind of where he was, or what was happening to him, repeated over and over again in my head. 

When I got halfway up the mountain, Leo and Don were fast on my tail; and the alarms in the distance were finally a lot quieter. 

"What- fucking- happened?" I stammered, trying to catch my breath, and glaring right at Donnie who was trying to do the same.

He threw his hands up, "I dunno," he breathed, "We were scouting out- and the next thing that happened was those crazy noises, and when I looked back, Mikey was gone," 

"Gone?" I said, "Gone!" I repeated, stomping in Donnie's direction, where Leo shoved me back away from him. 

"He just vanished, Raph, I don't know what happened, everything happened so fast; like they knew we were coming!" Donnie said, trying to explain, but I couldn't wrap my head around this. 

"Raph, I didn't know it was going to be like that," Leo admitted, only pissing me off more. 

"Yeah?" I cackled in his face, "Just like you didn't know about that damn building back in Manhattan? Mikey is gone, because of you, again!" I shouted, pacing back and forth, "Who knows where he is, what if they got him, Leo?" 

"Raph-" Leo started,

"No, what if they did?" I questioned again, looking between both of my brothers, who was at a loss for words, with worry in their own eyes, "You guys didn't get to see what the fuck I saw, You didn't get to see the people these men were torturing and that little boy- who, God!" I said, feeling the lump rising in my throat. 

"Raph, please!" Leo said again, placing a hand on my shoulder, where I simply didn't have the strength to knock him off or punch him in the face, "Just calm down, okay? I didn't know this shit was going to happen, I admit- I really do, I admit that I wasn't thinking clearly- and it's true, everything did happen so fast; faster than anything I had ever seen- But you gotta look at me," Leo pleaded, though I refused to look in his direction, but did anyway from the stabbing in my chest. 

"They'll kill him," I said, seeing that Donnie's eyes were getting glossy and he looked away from me, wiping his face. 

"We will find him, and if anyone hurts him, we all-" Leo said, looking around to see if Donnie was paying attention, which of course he was, "We all will make them pay at whatever the cost is," 

ᵀᵒ ᴮᵉ Cᵒⁿᵗⁱⁿᵘᵉᵈ


	19. ᴬ ᴮˡᵒᵒᵈʸ ᴾʳⁱᵛⁱˡᵉᵍᵉ

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> " ᵂʰᵃᵗ ᴵˢ Yᵒᵘʳ ᴾᵒⁱˢᵒⁿ "   
ᴵˢ ᵇᵃˢᵉᵈ ᵘᵖᵒⁿ ᶜᵒᵐᵖˡᵉᵗᵉ ᶠⁱᶜᵗⁱᵒⁿ ᵃⁿᵈ ⁱᵈᵉᵃ'ˢ ᴴʸᵈʳᵃᵏⁱⁿᶻ, ᴴᵃˢ ᶜᵒˡˡᵉᶜᵗᵉᵈ ᵒᵛᵉʳ ᵗʰᵉ ᵖˡᵒᵗ ᵒᶠ ʰᵉʳ ᶠᵃᵛᵒʳⁱᵗᵉ ᶠᵃⁿᵈᵒᵐ ᵒᶠ ᵃˡˡ ᵗⁱᵐᵉ, ᵀᴹᴺᵀ
> 
> Book Two Out Now! 
> 
> This Story Contains #Turtlecest. 
> 
> ໓໐ຖ't likē, ໓໐ຖ't rēค໓.
> 
> After Raphael and Leonardo think that their brothers are dead from a warehouse explosion, they mourn the deaths of what remained, including the lie and betrayal of their father faking his own death to keep them safe. Raph and Leo try to move on, but more than twenty surprises hit them in the face like a ton of bricks when Donnie and Mike return to the lair after a fight for adventure. Feelings begin to bloom over the loss. And drama forms and rains over their heads like a storm.
> 
> Falling In Love With Your Own Sibling Was Never going to be easy-- but getting them to love you back was a challenge-- Only in reality-- they all loved each other just as equal. 
> 
> Read ᵂʰᵃᵗ ᴵˢ Yᵒᵘʳ ᴾᵒⁱˢᵒⁿ to find out what unfolds right before their eyes, and to be there every step of the way as these four brothers discover what true love and sacrifice truly means to have exactly what you want.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> -
> 
> Before This Chapter Begins, I must warn those who are sensitive to content that involves, Rape, Torture, or even themes of Molestation, to avoid this at all chances possible. The people who portray in this episode are sick, and twisted individuals, and are to be put away behind bars if actions like these were to be repeated in real life. Slavery and even Sex Trafficking are real crimes being committed as we speak; along with Rape, and Murder happening at least twenty times per minute of the day- so, if you are easily offended of these themes mentioned above, then I highly suggest you don't go on any further- but if you wish to continue the journey- then I bid good luck to you. 
> 
> And remember, Cowabunga!
> 
> \- Hydrakinz 
> 
> -

ᵂʰᵃᵗ ᴵˢ Yᵒᵘʳ ᴾᵒⁱˢᵒⁿ

Cʰᵃᵖᵗᵉʳ ˣⱽᴵᴵᴵ

ᴬ ᴮˡᵒᵒᵈʸ ᴾʳⁱᵛⁱˡᵉᵍᵉ

[ Michelangelo ]

The back of my legs was stinging- and the muscles in my arms felt like they were pulling apart from being behind my back for so long- 

I'm sure I was bleeding- but by now with the number of strikes, kicks, and punches I've endured, everything had gone mostly numb. I could hear shouting but I simply couldn't make anything out. The blindfold constricting my eyes was damp with sweat from how humid the room actually was. It was so hot- and I felt so tired. 

I felt another kick connect with the back of my shell, and I fell forward, landing on my face. The floor was made of concrete, and I could tell by now that this was my resting place. This was the final thing I'd die tasting- my own blood, sweat, and tears. 

"So, tell me turtle, why did you and your people, come onto sacred grounds?" asked a man I knew was to my right; while another was behind me. The smell in the room was awful, and my answer for these messed up dudes was something I knew they wouldn't be proud of, nor would it be good enough. 

"Mr. Kanaki is speaking to you, creature!" one of them shouted in my ear, as he rose me to my knees again and slapped me right on the cheek, where yet the stinging beneath my skin returned. 

"I-I don't," I swallowed thickly, "I don't k-know," I lied, knowing at whatever the stakes, I'd never rat on my brothers, nor reveal information no one needed to know. 

My answer rewarded me with yet another punch to the back of my head, and I squeaked from the sudden contact and almost fell forward again, as the metal surrounding both my wrists were straining and digging into my skin. It burned as everything else did. 

Everything hurt; and for what all I knew, things were only gonna get worse from here. I knew that whatever they'd do to me, I'd never tell a word. I'd do this for my brothers; for my family and most importantly the three people I loved most in the world. 

I love you, Raphie.

"So, you came onto sacred grounds for no reason at all? No explanation? No reason? Is there also no reason the big one killed a bunch of my men, including one of my cadets!" he screamed into my ear, as I tried to pull away from his direction, only to be forced back into my spot. 

"T-The only thing I-I know is that we were just coming here b-because we thought this place w-was a farmer's market or something- honestly- and he didn't kill any of your men! They tried to kill him and everything he d-done was out of self-defense!" I half-shouted, as my voice cracked rapidly- while receiving another blow to the side of my cheek. 

"This is despicable, the lies, and your foul words you spill from your intrepid mouth, sickens me," I heard him say as I spit out what blood was gathering in my mouth. 

I leaned forward, as my knees dug into the ground, feeling like they were gonna give out. My head began to spin. 

God, I want out of here. 

The man next to me touched my face briefly and I yanked away from him, as another punch connected with the back of my head for the hundredth time. I cried out in pain, as one of them spoke in a funky language. They talked back and forth for a moment, and there was a long pause. 

"Toshiro o tsureteitte, kare ga Kari no tame ni keikaku shita koto wa Nani demo kare wa hanashimasu," I heard him chuckle darkly as the others joined him- and someone exited the room, and everything seemed to go quiet for a while, until;

I heard footsteps as I hung my head low, still unable to see or feel much at all left in my body- but as the minutes were passing this moment kind of reminded me of that time I had met Lydia. 

She said we'd meet again someday- and I wondered how long she meant by someday- I even wished I could see her now, and see how she was doing with everything- and maybe check if her son was in jail or doing right by her.

She was so dedicated to her child even if he was being a complete dick to her. I guess that's what parenthood is all about. Never give up, or forgetting who you are to them. 

I was guessing that Master Splinter had forgotten all about that; including loyalty- and at this point; I was finally seeing the big picture of what the rest of the guys were talking about and even feeling about him. They hated him, but not as much as Raph probably does. 

He hated him way before the letter, and the letter was just icing on the cake for his anger towards him. Since Sensei told us he died, which is crazy to even say- Raph knew something strange was going on. He knew something off had happened all those months ago, and coming up next month; it would have been a year. 

I wanted to cry just thinking about the lies, the secrets and all that bullshittery that came out of his mouth, when our whole lives he was the one who taught us to not do things as such, and always be one with each other, even after he was gone. 

I guess all that has gone to waste now because each one of us has sinned beyond the limits of being a ninja. 

"Kare wa Soko ni ite, kare ni hanashi o sa se nasai, soshite Anata wa hōshū o emasu," said the man I was now familiar with, as he was suddenly back in the room. I heard someone else, and he didn't sound as calm as the last. 

I heard the other laugh, and his voice sounded a lot deeper. But this guys laugh, his voice, something vile was there, something sick, something unkind and unruly-

"Korehanandesuka? Arushuno dōbutsudesu, Kore wa arushuno jōdan ni chigai arimasen," he then said, sounding a bit closer, as the space in the room was becoming smaller. 

"This, thing- has committed murder on our men, your men, and you need to do something about it, Toshiro!" one fussed, then the other growled something and suddenly I was pulled to my feet where I was forced over some kind of table. The old wood beneath me creaked as I tried to pull away from whoever and whatever's grip, but they held me down, mining away at whatever strength was left in my arms and legs. 

"Hold him," said someone, someone I no longer knew. I felt as if different voices and sounds were surrounding me until I felt a hand at my rear, and my tail was being fondled, and pulled on, causing me to yelp. 

I tried to kick away but they held me there, forcing me to endure whatever was to come, "N-No!" I yelled, trying at my strength again, but it continues to fail me. 

Fingers, and from what I could tell, objects were touching me in restricted places I only wanted one person to touch. 

When something penetrated me, someone bent down next to my ear, thrusting the object in and out of my rectum, causing me to cry out again, but it was worse, the pain, it was much worse. It felt like my insides were being ripped out. 

"S-Stop!" I sobbed, trying to kick away but it was no good. 

"We will stop once you tell us where those other creatures are," he muttered in my ear, grabbing me by the jaw, and lifting my head up, straining my neck as he forced me to look in his direction, as the object was slipping deeper, cutting deeper. 

God, make it stop!

My mask, along with the blindfold over my face was soaked by now but not just by sweat; but by the tears falling from my eyes I could no longer hold back.

I truly wanted to be out of this; and away from here, and for once, I wanted to cry out for Sensei, but the bastard wasn't here, he wasn't here to protect me. 

I fucking hated him for this, and if it wasn't for him, we wouldn't be here, and a vacation would have been a long shot of an idea, and never to been spoken of. 

Ever.

"I will," I growled, and sobbed as saliva was leaking from my mouth, "Never, ever, tell you where they are, and you can't make me, so just kill me already!" I screamed from the top of my lungs, as the object or whatever it was quickening its pace, and the man in front of me was controlling it. I could practically hear his smile and the way he was enjoying this. 

"Oh really? Did you guys hear that; the freak said he wasn't going to tell us anything-" he laughed, and I quickly turned my head, catching one of his fingers in my mouth, and bit down as hard as I possibly could, and he roared in my face and yanked away from me, and pulling the object with him. 

Once I tried to break free, and pull on my own restraints, a felt something much, much sharper penetrate my body- and it dug into my side, Just below the crook of my arm, and where my rib cage ended. 

"Kill you?" a man said next to me, digging the knife deeper, as more blood erupted from my throat and I coughed, "We wouldn't do that; we need you for leverage," he laughed, pulling the blade out then stabbing right back in, forcing it much deeper this time. 

For a moment; everything felt numb and empty- 

I wanted this to be it; and all the pain, it was getting worse, and taking over my whole body to even the very tips of my toes. 

The man let go of me, pulling the knife out, and shoving me down to the floor, where I coughed frantically- I heard someone curse again and again, and then deliver a kick to my stomach, which didn't hurt as much. Though; I'm pretty sure it hurt him a lot more than it did me, and I silently thanked God for gifting me the ability to be a turtle. 

"Get him out of here, all of you, and take him someplace where I'm sure he'll be right at home! And Toshiro, be sure to make frequent visits to his cell," he demands, as I was lifted up and dragged out of the room. 

Everything was spinning now, and the longing pain in my side only worsened. The smell of blood coming from my body was strangely intoxicating and I knew now, that my chances at escaping were limited to a zero chance. 

I wished I could see Raph and the rest of my brothers one last time; maybe even Sensei, and April and of course, Casey- though I didn't particularly like him. But just one last time; to have one last laugh or to just say goodbye.

I was forced down some stairs, where the two men at my right and left were pulling on my arms, only causing the cuffs around my wrists to tighten further and cut deep into me. The pain was beginning to become comforting to me; because it was the only thing making me feel alive.

The only thing helping me breathe was the simple thoughts and memories I kept with me as I was left someplace on the floor, which was cold. 

I wished for a moment that they would have at least removed the blindfold, but these dudes, they weren't gonna do a thing unless they themselves wanted something- And if they did, of course, it'd come true, and of course, they'd have everything handed to them. 

They were some type of kings and queens, thinking they ran this whole country- and even if I died right now, I knew deep within the depths of my heart that they would;

Pay.

ᵀᵒ ᴮᵉ Cᵒⁿᵗⁱⁿᵘᵉᵈ


	20. ᴸⁱⁿᵍᵒ Fᵒʳ ᴰᵘᵐᵐⁱᵉˢ

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> " ᵂʰᵃᵗ ᴵˢ Yᵒᵘʳ ᴾᵒⁱˢᵒⁿ "   
ᴵˢ ᵇᵃˢᵉᵈ ᵘᵖᵒⁿ ᶜᵒᵐᵖˡᵉᵗᵉ ᶠⁱᶜᵗⁱᵒⁿ ᵃⁿᵈ ⁱᵈᵉᵃ'ˢ ᴴʸᵈʳᵃᵏⁱⁿᶻ, ᴴᵃˢ ᶜᵒˡˡᵉᶜᵗᵉᵈ ᵒᵛᵉʳ ᵗʰᵉ ᵖˡᵒᵗ ᵒᶠ ʰᵉʳ ᶠᵃᵛᵒʳⁱᵗᵉ ᶠᵃⁿᵈᵒᵐ ᵒᶠ ᵃˡˡ ᵗⁱᵐᵉ, ᵀᴹᴺᵀ
> 
> Book Two Out Now! 
> 
> This Story Contains #Turtlecest. 
> 
> ໓໐ຖ't likē, ໓໐ຖ't rēค໓.
> 
> After Raphael and Leonardo think that their brothers are dead from a warehouse explosion, they mourn the deaths of what remained, including the lie and betrayal of their father faking his own death to keep them safe. Raph and Leo try to move on, but more than twenty surprises hit them in the face like a ton of bricks when Donnie and Mike return to the lair after a fight for adventure. Feelings begin to bloom over the loss. And drama forms and rains over their heads like a storm.
> 
> Falling In Love With Your Own Sibling Was Never going to be easy-- but getting them to love you back was a challenge-- Only in reality-- they all loved each other just as equal. 
> 
> Read ᵂʰᵃᵗ ᴵˢ Yᵒᵘʳ ᴾᵒⁱˢᵒⁿ to find out what unfolds right before their eyes, and to be there every step of the way as these four brothers discover what true love and sacrifice truly means to have exactly what you want.

ᵂʰᵃᵗ ᴵˢ Yᵒᵘʳ ᴾᵒⁱˢᵒⁿ

Cʰᵃᵖᵗᵉʳ ˣᴵˣ

ᴸⁱⁿᵍᵒ Fᵒʳ ᴰᵘᵐᵐⁱᵉˢ

. . .Two Days Later. . .

[ Raphael ]

"You have to at least try and eat something Raph," Donnie insisted, putting a plate of some sort of pasta in front of me. 

I cringed at the sight and smell; and pushed the plate an inch or two away and he glared at me. 

"I'm not hungry-" I quietly said, resting my head in my hands. 

I heard him sigh, and pull out a chair, "We miss him too," 

I looked at him through my fingers, and removed them, "Don't, Donnie," 

"Raph," he sighed again, "I miss him just as much as you do! For god sake, he's our little brother, and we just- we lost him, again. So don't think I don't know what the hell you are talking about or feeling!"

I shook my head, and stared ahead at the food in front of me, "I can't just eat; and pretend all of this isn't happening D, they are gonna kill him- or worse. What if they already have, goddammit!" I growled, slamming my fist onto the table. 

"Raphael, would you just chill?" Leo asked cooly as if none of this shit was botherin' him. 

The sight of this guy and the nerve he had to tell me to chill the fuck out was spine thrilling to think of ripping his head off. 

"You want me to chill, Leo?" I questioned, already feeling my temper rising- and he turned to look at me over his shoulder with anger in his own eyes.

"Don't you dare fucking start with me," he warned, turning towards the countertop. 

"You want me to chill when my mate is out there with those lunatics probably gettin' gutted like a fish!" I shouted, as my voice echoed all around the room. 

"Oh, fuck off, Raphael! You are not the only one who is worried, who is concerned and the only one who fears for his safety!" he shouted back, causing Donnie to jump. 

"This is not helping!" he interrupted, "Both are you are out of control, and this entire trip has turned into a shit show because of the two of you!" 

"Because of me? It's because of Raph!" Leo defended, pushing both of his hands out towards me, and I growled and shook my head. 

"Oh yeah, blame me, Leo! What's fuckin' new!" 

"It's all you two ever do is fight! And it's all you've ever done for the past fifteen years!" Donnie said standing up from the table and shoving his chair outwards, "Just kiss already and make up!"

"Oh screw you, Donnie," I muttered, while Leo fell silent. 

Donnie didn't say another word as he left the room, and I huffed loudly at the remaining silence between me and my brother. 

"So," he suddenly said, leaning on his hands and bracing himself on the counter, relieving some tension I assume, "Do you really think this is all of my fault?" he questioned quietly while I smugly stared at him from the side. 

I shrugged after a second, debating on my answer, "A part of it is, and a part of its mine," I admitted with a sigh and sat back down in my chair. 

He fell silent again, but I didn't wanna wait forever on an answer, "How is it your fault, Raph?" he then asked.

I sighed, crossing my arms and reconsidering the food I declined earlier, "Maybe if I wouldn't have run off that day and got caught up with all those guards, and killed some of them, they wouldn't have been so suspicious and on guard a couple of nights ago,"

"Don't be like that- we just, we both made a mistake, Raph," he said, sitting in front of me. 

"But it is though, Leo! And now, only God knows what is happenin' to Mikey-" I argued, and clenched my fist on the table. 

"Yeah, who knows. But let's have some sort of hope that whatever is happening that it's not that bad, and maybe these guys are a little more nicer than we originally thought-" he tried reassuring me, but then his shoulders lowered, "Then again, who knows, these guys could be worse than the foot themselves,"

"You're not helpin' Leo," I informed, narrowing at him, and he frowned. 

"Things haven't really been the same, ya know, since, Splinter," Leo responded, causing me to roll my eyes. 

"Don't even talk to me about him," 

"Raph, I know you hate him. But one day you're gonna have to talk about these things- if not with all of us, then at least somebody-"

"He abandoned us, Leo! He was our only chance at having a parent; and look! Just look around us, he ain't here, and he wasn't there back in New York, and he never will be again. So, why can't you just let him go and just solve this mess for that guy you met; and then we can go home!" I pleaded, to only receive sad eyes from the one and only fearless himself. 

I wished he'd just realize what is right and wrong here about the last few months. And give up on seeing through to Master Splinter. He's gone, and I personally didn't want him back. Ever. 

I remember the time he almost died, and we saved his life, kind of like how April saved ours. When we thought he actually died, everything in the rest of us died alongside him. 

I never knew the meaning of loss until he disappeared in that fire, and that's why everything went haywire when that warehouse blew up, separating Donnie and Mikey from Leo and me. 

I loved Leo, but losing Mikey- along with our supposed Father was too much for me to handle. It had only been two months, almost going on three when we went on that mission, to only somehow trip an alarm, just like the one a couple of nights ago.

Before all that- I was such a hard ass and everything about it including all the teenaged hormones coursing through my body wasn't even the easiest thing to tip me over the edge. Anything made me angry- and at one point I wanted to go into Sensei's room and just ransack the whole place. 

Because his loss not only was painful, but it pissed me off more than anything- Because I knew who's fault it was. I knew he got himself killed, and now, none of that matters.

The wasted emotion on him, to just turn around and find out that it was all a lie; all a scam to get away from his own damn kids!

My fists were clenched again, as Leo looked at me with confusion in his eyes, "You're thinking about all that stuff again, ain't you?" 

I shook my head, "Stay outta my head, Leo," 

"Oh cut the shit; You can talk to me," 

I didn't wanna do this, and I sure as fuck didn't want Leo hearing my deepest darkest secrets of all of my stupid emotions and whatnot. But Mikey wasn't here, and Donnie was potential enough but- nothing wasn't the same unless he was around. 

"Raph," he sighed, "Will you at least walk with me?" 

"Walk with ya? Where the hell are we gonna go?" I said not really considering this sudden approach. 

He rolled his eyes stubbornly, "I wanna get some air. I don't wanna be confined here anymore," 

I stared at him for a moment; trying to come up with some type of excuse, let alone an answer, but I shook my head in disagreement. 

"Not right now, I think I got enough air around me," I remarked, earning a glare from Leo.

"I'm surprised you have enough without Mikey around! Just come with me," he insisted, nudging me in the shoulder, and I huffed, rising from the chair and following him out the back door and by the pool, where he jumped down off of the deck. 

"So, I meant to ask ya. How're things going with Donnie?" I asked, jumping down behind him and twirling my sai's around. 

"What do you mean?" he questioned, walking alongside me. 

"Well, have ya at least told one another you love each other?" 

He shrugged, "Sort of, why?" 

I shrugged too, and rose my hands into the air, "Well, me and Mikey do all the time," 

"That's you and Mikey-, not me and Don," he argued, walking a little ways ahead of me, and I caught up,

"Would ya chill out bro? I'm just trying to make sure you're at least happy- and treating him right!" I said, stepping in front of him, forcing him to stop walking-

"Of course I am! What do you think I do, beat him as I did back in Manhattan?" He spat, shoving me back.

"I dunno, Leo, You seem pretty goddamn hostile here lately! You gonna beat me next? Maybe, Mikey?" I laugh, "I dare ya to lay one finger on him," 

"The only thing I'm gonna be laying down to him is my fucking dick," he said, as my eyes blew wide. 

"Yeah, like you could do any better than me," I replied calmly- trying to keep my temper down, and knowing that Leo was only saying this type of shit to get under my skin; and it was half workin' but I couldn't keep fightin' with him like this. Even with as hard as it was to admit it; Donnie was right and things needed to change, one way or another. 

"Hah, do better, Please, I do everything better than you, Raph and sex ain't the half of it," he smirked. 

Something clicked in my mind as the words rolled out of his mouth, and a grin spread across my face. 

"Yeah, well, I'm not the one who's over there fantasizin' about another brother," I chuckled darkly causing Leo to get quiet. 

I tilted my head at him in a muse, and he narrowed his eyes, "The hell are you talking about now?"

"Oh, now he plays all dumb," I continued to laugh, having a silent banter of my own.

"Tell me what the fuck you're talking about!" he shouted, shoving me again, this time causing me to stumble back; which broke the amusing part of this whole thing and irritation hit me like a brick. 

"Hmph," I muttered with a lowly growl, and gripped the one sai that still remained in my left hand, "A little birdy told me, you think I'm pretty hot," 

Leo's face paled and he quickly looked away from me, returning the smile to my face.

"I-I um, I dunno what you're talking about," he denied, but now barely visible to the eye with his strickly nervous frame. 

"Now he's addin' lyin' to the list again, huh?" I snickered, flipping the sai in my hand and turning it inwards. 

"Mikey told you, didn't he? I told that little shit not to say anything- God, he has such a big mouth!" Leo gushed, rubbing a hand over his forehead. 

"A big one, indeed," I commented, noticing the blood rushing to Leo's cheeks before he could even say anything back. 

"I was just goofin' around," he tried to admit; as my face softened, and the grin on my face faded, but returned and I nodded my head in a sarcastic agreement. 

"Uh-huh, whatever the hell ya say, Leo. I know you've got the hots for me," I cheered while turning away from him to travel down the pathway towards the jungle. 

He didn't say anything as I was walking away- him knowing I was right. 

I was for once, correct; and Leo was eating it up, and hated it. 

The smile remained on my face as I twirled my sai, and even balanced it on the tip of my finger and let it stand up for a bit. 

I heard the sound of quick footsteps, and suddenly Leo tackled me to the ground with a shout. 

"The hell!" I scoffed, tumbling to the grass, and Leo fell on top of me, with the angriest look on his face I had ever seen, but it didn't intimidate me to his liking- "Get off me, Leo, don't make me hurt ya!" 

"I am sick and tired of your fucking remarks, and I'm sick and tired of being reminded of what I had done to Donnie in Manhattan, so just shut the fuck up for once!" he yelled in my face, swinging a fist at me, but before he could even reach whatever part he was going to connect that thing with; I kicked him off of me, and jumped up to my feet; where I now held both sai's in my hands. 

Leo flew a few feet away and hopped to his own feet with a swift move while bringing out his own weapons. 

"This what you want huh?" I shouted, "Ta fuckin' fight me, and hurt me! It won't fix this, Leo!" 

Leo blindly ignored me, and leaped in my direction, connecting both of our sets of blades together, as they scrapped and fought for what strength the either had, and I shoved him off of me, as he threw a kick right at me, and struck right to the middle of my chest. 

"Fighting might not help, nor will hurting you, but this time, nobody will break it up, and we will have no interruptions!" he spat; swinging his katana in my direction but I ducked underneath it and punched him directly in the side, and delivering my own kick. 

"What will you get out of this, huh?" I struggled while being on high alert and ready for another attack. Leo and me circled the grass at our feet for what seemed like minutes. I on the other hand was in hope to get an answer out of him, but it didn't work. 

He was blinded by anger and his own self-pity. Just like I was. 

"Joy, I will get joy out of this!" he finally answered, flinging himself at me, connecting our blades again, but this time he won, slicing a long gash above the top of my plastron, and just below my throat. 

The smell of blood filled the space between us, and for a moment; I hadn't even realized what had happened until I looked down, and something inside of me overloaded. He wanted bloodshed, and it was what he was actually fighting for. It's what he wanted out of Donnie, me, and eventually some kind of nerve from Mikey-

He wanted what he wanted, and tonight was the night I'd give it to him. 

I gripped the handles of my sai's tight and swung in every other direction towards his every move, while he was dodging most and blocking some until he finally slipped up, and my blade ripped right through his arm, and he grunted at the sudden pain now radiating throughout his entire left shoulder. 

He looked at me in shock, mixed with pure fury-

"What!" I yelled, almost at a loss for my breath, and he stepped back, holding his hand over his arm to clot whatever cut I had made, "Are you surprised already that I actually hurt you, Leo?" 

He didn't say anything but continue to grit and clench at his teeth, and giving me a look from hell. He ran forward, with one blade out, and with one leg he swiped me right off of my feet and knocked me flat on the ground. I landed with a loud huff and tried to get up just as quickly but Leo already had the very tip of his blade, pointing straight in my face. 

He squatted down, and hovered over me, continuing to keep the boshi tip of his katana where it was at. I was done fighting- and it was the words I never thought I'd hear myself think or say- but I couldn't do this; at least not to Leo, nor any of my brothers. 

"Why do you hate me so much!" Leo barked with a scrunched up face as if he was about to cry or something- 

The question blew my mind for a second; And I had no clue how to even respond to something like that coming from, Leo, of all people. 

"What?" 

He wiped his face, and shook his head, leaning down further until he was practically sitting on me, but he kept his direction of the katana, not moving it, "I said," trying to sound clearer, though I heard him the first time, "Why the hell do you hate me so much?"

All I could do was scoff at the way he sounded, and the word for it was pathetic, "More like, why do you hate me!" I pushed, as my eyes never left his. But the tears streaming down his face proved to me that what he was asking me, was something he actually felt. Maybe even believed all along-

"I've never hated you!" he shook his head, throwing the blade on the grass next to me, "What reason do I have?"

I stared at him, unable to come up with an answer for that one either, "Well, what reason do I have?" and he stared back with the least amount of options as well. 

"I'm sorry-" he sighed, leaning forward, but lowering his head, as it almost connected with my chest. 

"Right, now can you get off of me?" I glared, clearly not enjoying the sudden embrace of comforting and cheesy apologies. 

Leo didn't budge, as he lifted his head again, but this time, his eyes were much more dilated and bloodshot from what I could tell. He was clearly thinking of something and something could be anything at this point. 

I wanted to shove him off of me, kick him in the gut or even bust his lip for him, but looking at my leader, and him being so vulnerable like this, I simply couldn't bring myself to doing it. 

Leo leaned further down to me, as our faces were almost connecting and the harsh breaths of air coming from his mouth, surely wasn't a planned out routine. 

My heart was starting to pound in my chest; "Leo," I questioned, "The shell are ya doing?"

Leo was only getting closer, and he took his hand away from the cut on his arm, and placed it over my chest, and slowly moved it up to caress at my throat. The scent coming off of his body was just as intoxicating as Mikey's was. 

Oh, no.

But something about Leo's was so musky- and so different that I found myself getting just as close, and Leo hesitated at first as he pulled himself in, and pushed his lips against mine. 

I hissed into his mouth, where he groaned into mine and forced our tongues in a dance around the freakin' world. He was licking desperately into my mouth and even pushing his own pelvis against mine at a quick pace, obviously in some sort of need to get himself off. 

The need behind his actions, the want he longed for was something he wanted to do for ages, and no one but me was good enough for him at this very moment. 

As I was reaching to pull his hips closer to mine, a sudden shriek emptied throughout the house behind us, and we both were at our feet in seconds, and running towards whatever was going on. 

My head was a little dizzy- and I needed to calm down. 

The fuck just happened?

"Leo, Raph!" Donnie was yelling as we ran in from the backdoor, where we found him in the middle of the living room floor, with a note in his hand. He looked like he had seen a ghost, and he looked in our direction as soon as we entered the room with a panicked look on his face.

His expression was even more stressed than before, and he went towards Leo, then looked at me, as his eyes scanned the gashes on either one of us, "What happened?"

Leo stressfully shook his head, never minding himself as he pointed towards the note, "What was that screaming all about?"

I stepped forward and snatched the note from Donnie before Leo could even get his hands on it. My eyes quickly went over the words, and my thumb was instantly stained with a red substance, that smelt, oddly familiar. 

"Hₐᵥₑ Yₒᵤᵣ ₜₒy bₐcₖ | wₑ wₒₙ'ₜ bₑ ₙₑₑdᵢₙg ₕᵢₛ ₛₑᵣᵥᵢcₑₛ ₐₙy ₗₒₙgₑᵣ," was written along the piece of ripped paper, in blood.

My heart sank, reading the words, "This is," I started while I took a look towards the front door, "This is, Mikey's blood," 

"But that's impos--" Donnie began, but he was interrupted, and so was the rest of us as something was thrown through the stretch of the windows on either side of the door. The entire panel shattered and came crashing to the ground as everyone took cover. 

I was the first to look over the back of the couch, and to see what was lying there in the shattered glass. 

My eyes felt like they were going to bulge out of their sockets at the sight in front of me only inches away-

"M-Mikey?" I muttered as Leo was the second to look, followed by Donnie who noticed my reaction and only followed by freezing where he stood. 

Donnie rushed to his side, and I crept to my feet; where my legs felt numb and completely overused. 

"Jesus, Christ; God, he isn't breathing!" Donnie said, already sobbing as he checked Mikey for a pulse. 

Not breathing-

I practically jumped over the couch and slid onto my knees next to Mikey where he lied lifeless and covered in cuts, bruises, and gashes. Words were carved into every inch of his arms, and the smell of blood was so strong- I felt like vomiting- 

"Mikey-" I mumbled, lightly touching his face, as tears flooded my vision, and fell right onto his body- "Mikey Wake up!" I said, but weakly again, "Wake up!" I shouted, lightly shaking his shoulders. 

"D-Donnie, he's still bleeding- You need to find the source of the blood, maybe get it to stop!" Leo ordered, and Donnie shakingly obliged, as he tilted Mikey to one side, where he found a stab wound. 

"I-I've got it; he was butchered here, some type of nasty knife incident; and he's lost at least fifty-eight percentage of his blood and--"

"Donnie," Leo interrupted quietly, moving to the lower half of Mikey where I couldn't see. 

I watched as Don looked down towards him, and the pain on his face was unreadable. Leo met my eyes as his own was tearing up at the sight. 

"What?" I asked, moving towards him, but he pushed heavy on my chest. 

"Raph, You don't need to see it!" he swore, trying to push me away but I shoved him off and crawled to where he knelt and saw what he saw.

"They- um," Donnie swallowed while looking away- "They raped him,"

"Repetitively" Leo added and grabbed ahold of my arm, where he tried to pull me away from the view again. But what I saw between Mikey's legs, was something indescribable, and something so vile, I couldn't bear to keep away what temper was waiting to erupt from my core. 

It was so sick, so awful, that I couldn't even look away- but before I tried ripping my eyes away and even choose how to react; I saw Mikey's body twitch, and a whimper came from his mouth. 

Oh.

"Michelangelo?" Donnie said, quickly moving to where he could aid him a little better, and I followed while crawling on my knees to grab Mikey's hand.

Leo stood to his feet while standing over us all, with clenched fists and tears already streaming down his face again.

"Mikey, babe, can you hear me?" I asked, grabbing his small face, and caressing it with both of my hands. His cheeks brushed the palm of my hands, and he released another whimper again, gasping for air. 

"R-Raph?" he croaked, and I sobbed out of pure happiness. 

"Yeah, baby I'm right here!" I said, planting a kiss on his forehead, where he whimpered again, and could barely move. 

"Mikey, we're all here, baby bro," Leo said, leaning down by Donnie, who had a grasp on Mikey's other hand. 

"Who done this to you?" I whispered, nuzzling the side of his cheek, "Tell me who done this to you," 

"Kanaki, a-and Tosh-" he breathed, making me clench my teeth out of anger, as I carefully ran my thumb over Mikey's hand, trying in any way possible to soothe him, "A guy he, d-done things. They k-kept calling him, T-Toshiro," 

I looked up, where I saw Donnie staring at me with widening eyes. 

"Toshiro?" 

Leo walked away from us and ran his hands over his head, "Toshiro Zaki, is a known criminal for crimes like these; he was wanted in over three different European countries before they caught him trying to slip into an American airline. He's murdered, raped, and defiled children, women and known to be men when he can't get what he wants," 

"He was convicted of over thirty different types of first-degree murder and was sentenced a couple of years ago to hang in the gallows for the center square park of Japan. And it was going to be a private event for those families he's hurt- and made miserable," Donnie stated, shaking his head. 

"But he escaped, and those people who gathered around to witness his death, ended up getting shot in cold blood," Leo then explained, retorting to Mikey on the floor. 

I shook my head from the images flashing through my mind, "I'll kill him," I muttered, lightly gripping Mikey's hand who regained a pulse as Donnie found a way to patch him up with a medkit he, of course, brought with him in case of emergencies. 

"These gauzes won't last long Mikey- but we've got plenty to last until that wound starts to clot a little more, and some antibiotics to knock a fever in case of infection," Donnie said, feeling Mikey's forehead with the back of his hand. 

The heat rising in my body was ripping me apart; The things I could do; the things I would do to someone who hurt my family- let alone my Mate. 

"Raph," Mikey croaked again, forcing me to look at him, and in his hand that I was holding- was something I hadn't even noticed. A small smile spread across his face, as he slowly raised his hand to give me a red piece of fabric.

"My mask," I nearly sobbed again, carefully taking it from him and twisting the materials in between my fingers. 

"I-I got it for you. Back in O-Oomi. There was t-this big uh, room. I snuck in there after pickin' a lock- and f-found all this stuff; and t-there it was," he explained as dried blood leaked onto the very corners of his mouth, and another tear or two fell from my eyes, "Y-You cryin' R-Raphie?" 

I shook my head, and smiled warmingly at him while holding his hand up to my lips, where he returned the smile and continued to breathe heavily-

"I'm going to Oomi," Leo announced, returning his katana's to the back of his shell, and I looked up.

"What?" Donnie questioned while standing up, "You're not going back there alone!" 

"Then you can come with me,"

"No, I'll go, I wanna see the look on that bastards face when I'm five inches deep with my own blades!" I said, narrowing at him. 

"No, Raphael! Someone has to stay here with, Mikey!" Leo argued, looking in his direction than away- biting back whatever tears were left up there in that big head of his. 

"I wanna be the one to do it, Leo!" 

"You aren't seriously thinking about killing him, are you, Raph?" Donnie said looking at me with promising eyes. 

"Donnie, what has to be done, has to be done. And I want him to suffer. I want both of them too. So I'm going-"

"No!" Mikey suddenly yelped, grabbing ahold of my forearm, "R-Raphie, please, d-don't leave me,"

I looked down at Mikey- hearing his cries, as I instantly let the thought of revenge fall away from my body and wrapped both of my arms around his torso, and lifted him up against me. 

"Be careful, Raph, he's still losing blood, and he needs to be elevated," Donnie says, helping me lift him, as he hooks his own arms around my neck, while I hold him. 

"Donnie, I want you here, and I want at this mission alone," Leo demanded, going for the door but Don raced to grab his arm, and he stopped. 

"I wanna go with you," Donnie gently said, looking down into Leo's eyes, being an inch or two taller than him. 

Leo stared at him for a moment; then shook his head, "No, It's too dangerous, I promise I will return, and maybe bring Raph, Toshiro's head," he said, but not joking- obviously.

I stood patiently while giving my two brothers a knowing eye and admired the way Donnie so lovingly didn't care to kiss Leo right in front of me, and with a vanish, he was gone. 

The air surrounding me felt different; and something in the matrix was shifting into something much, much more darker. 

I knew that whatever Leo was going to do to those people, I never hoped, nor prayed, not even once that God himself, had mercy on their souls. 

But right now, I couldn't let those thoughts deceive me. 

I couldn't let anger control me, not now. I had Mikey back, and he wanted me and needed me here. 

And there wouldn't be a chance in hell, I'd leave him, no matter how much I wanted to crack skulls and rip someone's arms off. 

I just couldn't; 

Not now,

Not ever. 

ᵀᵒ ᴮᵉ Cᵒⁿᵗⁱⁿᵘᵉᵈ


	21. Yᵒᵘʳ ᴸⁱᶠᵉ ᴵˢ ᴼⁿˡʸ ᴮᵘᵗ ᴾᵃʸᵐᵉⁿᵗ

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> " ᵂʰᵃᵗ ᴵˢ Yᵒᵘʳ ᴾᵒⁱˢᵒⁿ "   
ᴵˢ ᵇᵃˢᵉᵈ ᵘᵖᵒⁿ ᶜᵒᵐᵖˡᵉᵗᵉ ᶠⁱᶜᵗⁱᵒⁿ ᵃⁿᵈ ⁱᵈᵉᵃ'ˢ ᴴʸᵈʳᵃᵏⁱⁿᶻ, ᴴᵃˢ ᶜᵒˡˡᵉᶜᵗᵉᵈ ᵒᵛᵉʳ ᵗʰᵉ ᵖˡᵒᵗ ᵒᶠ ʰᵉʳ ᶠᵃᵛᵒʳⁱᵗᵉ ᶠᵃⁿᵈᵒᵐ ᵒᶠ ᵃˡˡ ᵗⁱᵐᵉ, ᵀᴹᴺᵀ
> 
> Book Two Out Now! 
> 
> This Story Contains #Turtlecest. 
> 
> ໓໐ຖ't likē, ໓໐ຖ't rēค໓.
> 
> After Raphael and Leonardo think that their brothers are dead from a warehouse explosion, they mourn the deaths of what remained, including the lie and betrayal of their father faking his own death to keep them safe. Raph and Leo try to move on, but more than twenty surprises hit them in the face like a ton of bricks when Donnie and Mike return to the lair after a fight for adventure. Feelings begin to bloom over the loss. And drama forms and rains over their heads like a storm.
> 
> Falling In Love With Your Own Sibling Was Never going to be easy-- but getting them to love you back was a challenge-- Only in reality-- they all loved each other just as equal. 
> 
> Read ᵂʰᵃᵗ ᴵˢ Yᵒᵘʳ ᴾᵒⁱˢᵒⁿ to find out what unfolds right before their eyes, and to be there every step of the way as these four brothers discover what true love and sacrifice truly means to have exactly what you want.

ᵂʰᵃᵗ ᴵˢ Yᵒᵘʳ ᴾᵒⁱˢᵒⁿ

Cʰᵃᵖᵗᵉʳ ˣˣ

Yᵒᵘʳ ᴸⁱᶠᵉ ᴵˢ ᴼⁿˡʸ ᴮᵘᵗ ᴾᵃʸᵐᵉⁿᵗ

[ Leonardo ]

Oomi.

It was the type of place I didn't ever think even existed.

It was meant to be some way of giving people the safety they needed in Japan. 

A village, a community to only be lied about; to only fool those of this country of their rights. Their homes, and their humanity-

It was a place, that only but disgusted me of its rumors, its truths, and its very stories and actions towards the body of my own flesh, and blood.

The sight of the temple alone, made my stomach turn. And even from just knowing what was going on in there, right now, made this mission, and the plan I had made up on the way over, much, much more thoughtful; and even meaningful. 

I was going to, unfortunately, enjoy my next few moves, and for the unfortunate part- it was going to be for the owner; and his animals. 

I had planned to use every little skill I had ever learned on this very night and made a promise to my brother to bring him his head. 

Getting in; nor getting out wouldn't be easy- but the hardest limits was a middle ground for me, it was the sidewalk I stomped on, and it was the floors I crashed upon when too weak. And most of all; It was my throne. 

The plan was racing in my head, and the thought of what Master Splinter would do if he knew what I was up to at this very moment came to mind. But what innocence I had left had to be pushed away and off of the cliff of worry, I always kept in the back of my head. 

I couldn't doubt myself; I couldn't think of what's right or wrong- I knew what I had to do. I knew what I wanted to do, and I knew that if it was me who was tortured, and raped, and mangled from head to toe, my brothers, and even Mikey would be doing the exact same thing- and running for the same trip I had made days prior of his capture. 

They would fight for me, as I am about to do. They would make sure to whoever had hurt me, would die in vain, and would suffer trying to live. 

The men in this place, the people here, had only known how to give pain to those who did not deserve it. Like many others I have met in my life; but this, this was different unlike all the other cases, and I simply wouldn't let it continue further, especially after finding out that children were involved. 

It was at least passed ten at night, and even the kiss me and Raph had shared only an hour ago was planted at the very tip of my brain. 

I had no clue what had come over me, or even what provoked such disgusting nature of myself. I had wondered briefly what Donnie was going to do when he found out; or what about Mikey? He didn't seem so happy or even thrilled when Don spilled the beans about me thinking Raph was sort of- alluring?

I was thinking of these dumb things at the wrongest of times; and had to focus on what really meant more to me, and that was avenging what was right. 

Though; I knew in my heart that everything I had planned, was wrong to the very tip of it all, and Sensei would forbid such actions, and to scold all thought of possible murder. 

But- was that even what it was? Was it even, murder? Was it even a crime, and was it wrong to do things such as these in this country?

It was very wrong at all cost, and I knew that. And so was revenge. It was of nothing but a sin. 

But when I said fuck it all; not even an inch of a sin meant nothing more to me, than killing the men who hurt someone who was and always will be, very, very special to me. 

As soon as my feet passed the limits of the walls; rain started to pour over my head, along with a strike of lighting roaring in behind me. 

It was only a coincidence, I had smirked. In fact; this type of weather was something I missed. New York always had its downfalls of shitty weather, especially snow. And it made me homesick just thinking about it. I couldn't wait to get back, but with what business had to be finished; not a chance in hell, would I return now. 

This trip was slowly becoming less important to my idea of getting my Father back. He kept slipping my mind occasionally- and the more he wasn't around, and with as many times as I've read over his damn letter, it was the more I hated him. 

The bits of me that missed him, and served beyond the limits of respect were fading into the abyss of what you'd call my heart. 

He raised four men, but he himself was no longer a man of any species. 

I stared up into the darkening clouds, letting the rain droplets hit me right in the face. And I had hoped and prayed to whatever was to happen tonight; wouldn't come back to haunt me. 

I made a slip for the temple only a few yards from me, and figured that these people, I'm sure, would be on high alert. I guessed that their guards would have doubled, and became much, much more skilled in whatever combat they wished to throw at me. 

They seen us fight; and they seen Raph kill. And even we, had seen him kill without mercy- and from that very day- I knew the pain he carried, and why- and what was the purpose of his actions. 

He was fighting gas light with only but a small flame to get back the person he loved and had grown sick of getting him taken away-

Raphael was never this dedicated; this obsessed and fixated with our smaller brother, in fact for a long while, he was the one who I thought he hated. But no; I was far from right. He was more heated with me more than I had ever seen, and the more it happened, the more hatred I also grew for him, which is why I assumed of his own for me. 

I hated seeing him angry- and seeing him cry and be in pain was even worse. 

I even envied his lack of love for the rest of us, but there was nothing more I could have done. 

I sighed at my own thoughts, and crept along a stone wall, and hopped up to dangle then flip onto a balcony which led into an opened archway- 

My eyes were fixed to the darkness of the corridor in front of me, and the only light source this place had was the torches lit across the hideous wallpaper. 

I could hear voices only a few rooms ahead of me, and even all around me, but I needed to get deeper into this place and find what true secrets it held. 

I wrapped my fingers around the handle of my blade and gripped it tightly when a second-hand language of Japanese was sounded out through the walls next to me, and I hid away silently in the shadows as two men appeared from the door, and exited towards a staircase that led into what I assumed was the basement. 

I acted quickly and tipped in behind them both, and cracked both of their skulls together to trigger a straight head to toe K/O, and they tumbled to the floor. 

I tilted my head at their gear, and their getup, and from what I could tell; it wasn't very professional, nor was the logo these people wore. They were very old-school, and with the year now, I wondered why they kept things so classy when they could have so much more advanced techniques. 

I knelt down, and searched the one on the left; finding only a gun, and a pocket knife which I snatched, knowing I didn't have any shuriken's on me. The next one had a little less of a knife, but a set of keys. 

I took hold of them, and cut whatever string was keeping them attached to his belt and stood up, to go and check the room they came from, and it was thankfully empty- 

I grabbed one by the ankles and dragged him into the room, which looked like a regular place to just chill in or watch television. 

I shook my head, dragging the other in, and perching them carefully on each of the chairs that sat in front of the TV. 

These people practically had it all; and whatever training program was being taught or used, only disappointed me further. It was all guns and galore from here, and no skill what so ever. 

After I left the room, I shut the door behind me, and went down the stairs I saw from before and took very gentle steps to the sounds of creaking wood panels. The first thing I saw was the familiar cages that they kept back in the last village me and the rest discovered. 

When Raph told me about it; I couldn't believe he set everyone free and spent the rest of the night helping them all home. The boy and mother he spoke about furthered my anger more. I couldn't believe that people would still be this vile, and disgusting and when Mikey spoke of Toshiro, there wasn't anything much more I wanted or needed to know. 

He was a repulsive creature that needed not to live on this earth any longer- along goes with the leader of this establishment. 

I heard a small shriek and cry and I traveled further into the basement; where I found all of the slavery and masochism but also being greeted by the stench of blood, and guts that burned my nose. 

"Y-You're one of t-those things that w-was here earlier," said a woman from the cage right of me, and I looked at her, but keeping my sights all around me, as I held my blades tightly in reach. 

I saw her face and pleaded silently for her sanity- her eyes were puffy and her hair was matted, but she was an American. Maybe a tourist.

I nodded at her, "Yeah, my brother was here," I muttered, looking around me for any sight of any more of those guards.

"D-Don't worry- they a-aren't here, I heard them um, s-speaking about a l-lunch break, or something- my name is Betty, what is yours?" she questioned, but a little too loud for my taste, and I peered around the room again. 

"Leo," I answered while cringing at the smell again, and wrinkling my nose, "I'm gonna get you out of here, Betty- but I'm gonna need you to help me, okay?" 

She nodded frantically with wide eyes, as she came closer to the front of the cage, "Sure, but y-you have to p-promise to get my brother out a-as well," 

I looked at her with promising eyes, "I plan to get everyone out of here, but you have to stay put for now, and promise to not say a word that you saw me," 

She reached out between the bars and squeezed my forearm, as tears began to pool in her eyes. I noticed that the dress she was wearing was tattered and torn but stained with blood and dirt. 

"Thank you," she sniffled, while pulling a hand back through the bars, as the lock on a door near the stairs rattled. I heard Betty gasp, and pull back quickly to sit back in her spot, "You h-have to hide," 

I half-lidded my eyes at her, then disappeared into the closest amount of darkness I could find, as a man, tangling up another woman wearing a less amount of clothing shuffled into the room. She was sobbing and he was tugging on her hands and wrists, as he uncaringly untied whatever rope was restraining her. This man smelt of sweat; and fear. 

As he was shoving the girl into the cage with Betty- they were both crying and sobbing as he took a step closer towards the opening and was laughing at them, at their tears, and sobs for help; 

I stepped away from the corner of the room and pointed the very end of my blade to the back of his skull, and with every ounce of self-control I had, I opened my mouth with the grit of my teeth, "If I were you, I'd step away from the women, and drop whatever weapon you have, before I slice your fucking throat open," I spat quietly and warningly as the man scoffed and flipped around, to be greeted by my boshi, and his eyes widened at the sight of me. 

"It's you!" he accused, "One of those damned turtle things, so adorable with his little knife,"

The sound of his voice nearly made my head explode as I upper kicked him against the cage door, and he flew back with a loud slam. He groaned loudly at his landing and I was at his throat in a second, with my blade pressed so tightly to his throat; that if he even moved an inch; he'd be the fault of his final breath. 

"I want you, to tell me where Kanaki Nagato is, and if you don't- then you best be choosing the right words to answer it for me, or else your blood will be pouring onto this very floor, do you understand me!" I half yelled, not really paying a mind to my silence now.

The women behind him in the cage were huddled in the corners, watching everything go down, as I was about to commit my very first decease. 

The apple in the man's throat bobbed at how close my blade came to his neck; and the beads of sweat falling from his hairline only urged me to kill him further, because the number of times he was causing me to waste was entirely unbearable. 

"I don't exactly know where he is!" the man gulped, trying to pull away from me, but my grip on my blade only moved closer the more he tried to escape, "I'm not supposed to say anything!"

I growled, shoving him harder against the metal cage, rattling the entire frame of it, "You better start talking or your chances of outliving me, will be shortened, you fat sack of shit!" 

"O-Okay, okay!" he said with a weak voice, "The boss said somethin' about working up in the top floor, he didn't say what he was up to and even said to not bother him while he was working! That's all I know I swear!"

I cut my eyes sharply at him, "Now, that wasn't so hard, was it?" I asked before lifting my head up and bringing it forward as harshly as I could, knocking him out. 

I let go of his shirt and threw him on the ground, where I looked at the ladies in the cage and gave them a slight nod before handing the keys over to Betty through the bars. 

She looked at me with shock, and even with pride in her eyes before I stepped away from the cage, "When you get out of here, I want you to help the others in here, and go up those stairs, and to the right; you'll find a balcony and then there will be a wall, can you manage to get yourself and these people over it?"

She nodded quickly and pushed the cage door open to surprise me with a bear hug- "Thank you, thank you so much, Leo," she sobbed, then grabbed my wrist, forcing me to look down at her, "What about my brother? He isn't in here with the others. You have to find him!"

"I will, I will find him, but you have to get these people to safety- and when you do, I want you to meet me in the jungle north of here- You'll see a path when you get there, and when you find it, I will bring your brother there," I reassured, trying to give her my best smile before disappearing up to the stairway and heading up to the second floor, where the man from before told me to go. 

The area was quiet; and so was the hallway- it was far too silent to my liking and from the smell in the air, these rooms were much cleaner than the downstairs. This floor smelt of candles, and some type of flowery incense.

I crept along the wall; finding myself at the very end of the hallway where I saw no guards, no men, but only with the sound coming from a room through some curtains, where I saw a man, with a boy- and they were. . . painting?

I slowly entered the room, keeping my grip tight and arms locked for any sudden surprises. 

"That's it- you see, if you do it much slower, it'll turn out much smoother," I heard the man proudly praise to the boy who he was helping with angling the paintbrush on a large canvas covered in many different colors.

I watched him carefully- and this man didn't seem dangerous from afar. But I knew his game, I knew his logic and whatever move he had planned for this moment- he had to of at least known something was coming after the crimes he's committed on this very night.

The thunder from outside of the temple was rumbling the entire building and even shown through the drapes on the windows. It crackled outside as the rain was coming down, and for a moment; the noises were sort of relaxing- yet so calming.

I gripped the handle of my blade and wrapped all six individual fingers around its kashira, and stuck the blade outward towards the man touching the little boy- where his game wasn't fresh, and even with the scent lingering in the air, the amount of coward in this man only forwarded my anger. 

"Are you, Kanaki Nagato?" I asked with a bit of a snarl in my voice, and he froze, letting the boy take lead inpainting along with the canvas. 

"Depends. Who is asking?" he answered quietly while remaining to not move. 

"My name, nor who I am, or even what I am capable of, will never be of the importance to you," I snapped, but keeping my calm, and staying as low as possible, and deep within the depths of the shadows cowering in the corners of the room. 

Kanaki slowly turned but bringing the boy with him, to only reveal the gun he had held to his head. Tears were streaming down his small face, and the look in his eyes was something I finally understood. The way Raph acted about the child he spoke about- the anger that enraged him when he was murdered before his very own eyes; it was something all too clear now, and I saw it. 

I felt it. 

"So, another trespasser," he snickered, rubbing circles around the boy's shoulder, continuing to push the barrel of the gun against his skull, "You people, or whatever you are, never seem to learn, especially after our first lesson of well, hah, what would you call it? An Example?" 

I stepped forward and out into the light where I revealed myself to this devil of a man, and the boy wrapped in his grip, widened his eyes when he saw me. 

"An Example, of where you almost killed my brother, you sick fuck!" I growled, gripping the handle of my blade tighter. 

"Me?" he gasped, "Oh, you think I done that? No, no, no, you've got it all wrong- it was my men, and the myth himself, Mr. Toshiro, who was the work of beauty put into uh, your pathetic excuse for a sibling!" 

I nearly jumped at him, but he took a step back, bringing the boy with him, and cocking the revolver, capable of blowing someone's brains out. 

"How's about you do me a favor, yeah?" I cooly said, lowering one hand from my blade.

"A favor? Hm, what? Do you think we can cut a deal? I don't even know you, creature," he laughed, as I narrowed my eyes at him, and slowly curled my finger around the pocket knife I had put in my belt earlier on. 

"Yeah, maybe if we put all of this behind us, I won't kill you, and you don't fail at it with me, and maybe, we just uh- work together, you know?" I said, putting my best act of seriousness on the plate. 

"Work Together? Do you think I'm that stupid!" He suddenly shouted, causing the boy in his grip to yelp from the amount of pressure being held to his head. 

"Do I think you're that stupid?" I repeated, looking around the room briefly before yanking the knife from my belt, "Yeah, I do!" 

I leaped into the air, and threw the knife directly at him, as it pierced through his forearm, and in an instant; he dropped the gun, and the boy scrambled away from him. 

I was quick to snap a kick right in his face, and he crashed to the ground, trying to crawl towards the gun on the wooden floor not too far from the boy but I grabbed him by the ankle and threw him across the room, and he fell into a giant mirror displayed on the wall. 

I heard him start laughing at all the glass falling down on him. 

I stretched my blade out and walked towards him, feeling the heat in my shell starting to rise, "I wanna know where Toshiro is," 

He raised his head up, as he tried to stand up from the pool of broke glass surrounding him. He winced loudly and held his hand to the wound in his arm, and yanked the knife out and throwing it to the floor with a shaky hand. 

"He isn't here," Kanaki struggled, looking up at me as I reached him. 

"Then where is he?" I yelled, and he let out another laugh. 

"Ah, that man; he's sick, so very sick. But I'm not sure, to be honest. He was working for me, for a while, and just yesterday he left for Guarma,"

"You let him go?" I shouted in his face, and he leaned away from me, "He's not the only one who's sick! You rape, and murder children, and use all of these people for slavery!"

"Is that why you're here, Leo?" he asked, and my eyes widened, but then I locked my jaw and took a step back, and he laughed again. 

I thought for a moment on how, or why- but that's not why I was here. This isn't the reason nor is it the cause for all of this bloodshed. 

"I don't care if you know my name, but I do care about one thing- whether it's my place or not; and that's my job to come here, and tell you just how much of a disgrace you'd be to your father, to the very honor you never, ever had for him," I said, kneeling down to his level and looking him directly in the eyes, "And the honor I was taught even by a bastard, I still keep it; and he taught me to never turn my back on family- and today proves why and how I'm here, and today I have a job to fulfill; and that's to look you in the eyes, and to say do not, fuck, with my family!" 

He looked at me with fear in his eyes, and he stepped back towards the broken mirror, and I looked at him with a dark expression, and gripped my blade tightly-

"Your brother, he liked it!" he shouted, "Just like the rest of these whores did!" 

I stared at him, giving him no crumb of pity nor care, and here I stood, holding back. 

I rose my hand and twisted the handle, and before he could say another word, I quickly jerked all the firepower in my body towards his head, and it flew right off of his shoulders. 

I grimaced at the relief flooding my body and at the sight of a lifeless man's body- and the way he fell down, and just laid there, finally to be silenced, and to where I lay every life he's ever taken, to rest at peace. 

I took a breath of air in through my nose and sighed as I brought my blade closer, and saw the blood covering its sheath, and the sight of it alone only made my honor rise at how I've defended the lives of many- and revenged what could have, and what has been done to my own flesh and blood. 

I slowly turned when I heard the cry of the young boy I almost had forgotten about. The familiar sounds of alarms were piercing off throughout the entire building and I knew then, that it was time to move. 

"I'm sorry you had to see that-" I clarified to the boy who finally stood from the floor. 

"I-Is he dead?" he asked, warming my heart. 

I nodded my head, "Yes, but I don't want you worrying about that- we need to get you out of here, do you know a woman by the name of Betty?" 

"Y-Yes, that's my sister," 

"She's been really worried about you," I smiled, "I promised to return you to her, so, are you ready to go?" 

"Yes, I'm kind of tired of sleeping on the floor, I miss my mom, and my grandpa," he looked up at me, "Do you have a turtle family?" 

I almost laughed at his question but answered with an even wider smile at the sudden positivity he was causing me to have, "Yeah, yeah I do, and I'm going back to them after this, the man, who hurt you, and many others, hurt one of my brothers," 

"I'm sorry he hurt you, and your family," he said, looking down. 

"Don't worry about it; he's been taken care of, but we gotta get going okay?" I said, taking his hand, and leading him out of the room, and back down the stairs and to the exact same way I came in. 

As soon as I was about to lift my leg over the fencing- the ground shook with an explosion, and I saw fire erupting from the buildings next door, and I quickly grabbed the boy and brought him to my back. 

"Hold on tight, kid," I said, jumping down from the balcony and over the wall, where I made a run for the jungle, in hope that Betty made it out with the others.

The rain was coming down a lot harder than before, and getting away wasn't exactly easy with the thunder and all, but we made it; and when we were approaching the familiar pathway- another explosion happened in behind me, and I lifted the boy off of my back, and carefully set him on his feet. 

"Leopold!" Betty shouted, running towards the boy and hugging him tightly- causing a confusing expression to appear on my face. 

"You guys made it," I said, smiling at her. 

"Yes, I did exactly what you had said, but I had a little help from another friendly face," she answered, stroking the nape of her brother's neck, not letting go of him.

"A Friendly Face?" I questioned, as Donnie jumped down from the trees next to me. 

"A Friendly Face, indeed," he said with a toothy grin, and I frowned a bit.

"I thought I told you to stay with Mikey-"

Donnie shook his head, "Mikey is stable, and so is Raph, and I couldn't just sit around playing doctor while you were out there, in danger,"

I sighed, but smiled in return, "Those explosions, that was you, wasn't it?"

He gave me an innocent sway of his head, and shrugged, "Maybe, but I got everyone out; and from what I saw, everyone was going back to where they came from, except her," he said motioning to the siblings hugging one another.

"Thank you both," Betty said, holding her brother at her hip, and he gave me a hopeful smile, and I reached out, shaking his small hand.

"So, your name is Leo too?" I asked, and he nodded with a shy grin, continuing to hug his sister's neck.

"Crazy huh?" Don commented, and nudged me in the shoulder, "Now everyone can go home, including us," 

"I couldn't find Toshiro, he wasn't there, but that- other thing was, and I took care of him, however I could," I admitted, with a sigh.

"Yeah, well, I'm not proud of my own do's and don'ts, Leo, but we had to help those people, one way or another, and we did," he smiled, looking at the two younger siblings. 

"Yeah," I snickered, "Yeah, I guess we did,"

The rain was pouring hard- lighting up the sky and washing away the blood that covered me and my soul. 

ᵀᵒ ᴮᵉ Cᵒⁿᵗⁱⁿᵘᵉᵈ


	22. Bᵘᵇᵇˡᵉˢ ᴬⁿᵈ Fⁱʳᵉʷᵒʳᵏˢ

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> " ᵂʰᵃᵗ ᴵˢ Yᵒᵘʳ ᴾᵒⁱˢᵒⁿ "   
ᴵˢ ᵇᵃˢᵉᵈ ᵘᵖᵒⁿ ᶜᵒᵐᵖˡᵉᵗᵉ ᶠⁱᶜᵗⁱᵒⁿ ᵃⁿᵈ ⁱᵈᵉᵃ'ˢ ᴴʸᵈʳᵃᵏⁱⁿᶻ, ᴴᵃˢ ᶜᵒˡˡᵉᶜᵗᵉᵈ ᵒᵛᵉʳ ᵗʰᵉ ᵖˡᵒᵗ ᵒᶠ ʰᵉʳ ᶠᵃᵛᵒʳⁱᵗᵉ ᶠᵃⁿᵈᵒᵐ ᵒᶠ ᵃˡˡ ᵗⁱᵐᵉ, ᵀᴹᴺᵀ
> 
> Book Two Out Now! 
> 
> This Story Contains #Turtlecest. 
> 
> ໓໐ຖ't likē, ໓໐ຖ't rēค໓.
> 
> After Raphael and Leonardo think that their brothers are dead from a warehouse explosion, they mourn the deaths of what remained, including the lie and betrayal of their father faking his own death to keep them safe. Raph and Leo try to move on, but more than twenty surprises hit them in the face like a ton of bricks when Donnie and Mike return to the lair after a fight for adventure. Feelings begin to bloom over the loss. And drama forms and rains over their heads like a storm.
> 
> Falling In Love With Your Own Sibling Was Never going to be easy-- but getting them to love you back was a challenge-- Only in reality-- they all loved each other just as equal. 
> 
> Read ᵂʰᵃᵗ ᴵˢ Yᵒᵘʳ ᴾᵒⁱˢᵒⁿ to find out what unfolds right before their eyes, and to be there every step of the way as these four brothers discover what true love and sacrifice truly means to have exactly what you want.

ᵂʰᵃᵗ ᴵˢ Yᵒᵘʳ ᴾᵒⁱˢᵒⁿ

Cʰᵃᵖᵗᵉʳ ˣˣᴵ

Bᵘᵇᵇˡᵉˢ ᴬⁿᵈ Fⁱʳᵉʷᵒʳᵏˢ

{ Slight Smut Warning }

[ Donatello ]

\- - -

= Journal Entry 1 =

December 15th, 2019

So, I guess this is where I begin,

I found this journal in a chest within the basement of this temple, me and my brothers are currently vacationing in. 

Well, I wouldn't really call it a vacation anymore. Especially after what had happened with Mikey- which is who I have been around most of the time for the last couple of days, and he seems to be softening up with me around.

I won't go into detail what happened to my little brother, but here lately something about him, and the way he goes rigid with Raphael or Leo in the room, makes me worry about him further.

I've done a number of tests on him with whatever makeshift technology I have lying around or even brought with me, which wasn't very much. 

I didn't really think I'd have to, You know?

When I'm looking after Mike, he doesn't really talk much; but he likes it when I stay with him during the late hours of the night. He doesn't say why- nor do I question, but he seems to love my company and doesn't want the others at all. 

I wanna ask why- and stick my nose far into the end of someone's business. But that really isn't a book for me to be interested in to read. 

I wanna know. But like I said, I can't do that; even when I'm as confused as I am now. 

Michelangelo is sound asleep next to me, and when Raph tried to comfort him at an earlier time, he cowered into my side, and the look on his face was unreadable, unlike Raph's, which filled with anger, and maybe some sort of jealousy.

But it wasn't like that- was it? I don't know. I just don't. 

Even Raph and Leo seem a little off, especially with what days we plan to stay here. 

They sound closer and fight less. Maybe it's what they shared over the fight with Kanaki, along with his death. I didn't understand why anyone could be so happy over someone's passing- but I couldn't sit and not personally be happy about the results when Leo returned to me that night after I saved all of those people. 

The man who hurt Mikey wasn't captured though; and we all were paranoid, except for Raph; that he'd return and try something else. But what Leo told Mikey didn't even make him a little happier, or soothe him. 

I had never seen him so; down?

I had never thought I'd see the day where my little brother didn't have a smile on his adorable face. But it did, and it has. And from what I could see, and whatever was going on, it didn't plan to leave anytime soon.

But; I guess, for now, this journal or whatever you'd call it and the manuscripts of ancient history I tore from its spine was now sort of like, my very own memory log or something- 

It kind of helped get things off my chest a little easier, and maybe this will be a constant thing- unless I forget ya' know?

But maybe not. So, I guess I'll go for now, and maybe I'll return, depending if something else happens that's internally damaging for me, and what family I have left. Or just maybe this book will be for literally anything- and by anything- I mean, anything!

Signed, Don.

\- - -

I ran my index finger down the sketched page, and quietly shut the book and sat it across the stretch of my thigh; where Mikey had his head placed on the opposite one. 

I watched him for a moment, debating to wake him. But seeing him relax for once without those creases between his eyes was nice.

I couldn't help but lightly petting the back of his head, and down the nape of his neck. He didn't stir, and I kept going to hopefully soothe him better while he slept and maybe didn't have any more nightmares than the last. 

A day after the accident; Raph was the one who towered him, and eventually when Mikey was strong enough he just told him to leave him be, and for once, Raph listened and left without a second glance. 

He himself was changing and trying to control all that anger he had built up for so many years, and I could see that in Leo as well. Especially since they've been hanging out so much here lately- which kind of upsets me, but what could I do?

Stop him? Beg him to spend the entire rest of the time while we're here with me?

I simply couldn't pry or push. I've confined to my little brother and after that first day- Mikey was the one to ask me personally to help him.

-

A Day After Chapter XX

-

In the mirror, as I loosened the pads around Mikey's knees; I noticed the number of bruises worsening beneath the olive green skin. I couldn't help but get a sour taste in my mouth; and it was what nearly made me puke when I knew exactly how Mikey got like this. 

He was tortured; and many times, I wanted to ask about every little detail; but I knew that it was far too early for that. 

He winced when I removed the second knee pad and placed it on the counter next to the sink. 

"We don't have to do this, if you-" I started, but Mikey shook his head, gripping onto the marble countertop. 

"Can't just sit around, with all this blood on me, D," he muttered, looking at me in the mirror behind him. 

I exhaled through my nose, and reached over the tub, and turned the dials to switch the water on. "I just don't wanna- well, do anything that could make you uncomfortable," I explained, slipping the tips of my fingers underneath the running water to check if it's hot enough; and I turned the dial a little more. 

"Y-You won't," he snickered softly and winced again, as his grip on the counter loosened a bit and he slipped his right hand off and reached for me; and I quickly took his in mine, and led him closer to the tub. 

"Gotta get this off," I said, gesturing to his mask, and his eyes lit up. 

"Will you take yours off if I-I do mine?" he asked with a slight curl of his bottom lip, and I looked at him confused, but heartfelt.

"Oh," he said, then looking away- "When um, Raph lost his, I'd always remove mine, and it would always make him feel better. Dumb, I know- I just-"

"Mikey-" I sighed, and carefully reached around to the back of his head, and untied the blood-stained bandana, and grasping it in between my fingers, "It isn't dumb, it's very nice how you tried to comfort him like that. It's small, but small can be bigger than you think and effort always counts my little goofball," I smiled, poking his nose, and he giggled, holding back a whimper.

I then made my first move to loosen the tassels of my mask, and remove it from my face. 

"You look kind of weird," Mikey commented, making me blush a bit and I took his hand and helped him one leg at a time into the bath, and with a soft grunt; I finally got him into the water and sat down.

"Weird in a good way or bad?" I asked with a sly smile, reaching for the sponge. 

Mikey kind of sat there for a moment before replying to me, but then he snapped his head up at me, and pursed his lips, "Hm," he hummed mysteriously "A bit of both. I feel like I never see you without it- you know?" 

I nodded while dragging the sponge down Mikey's bicep and watching him with care, "We've all just gotten used to wearing them. Sometimes I just forget its there,"

He shrugged, wincing at the sting in his arms as the soap soaked into his wounds, "I-I dunno, D, do you ever wished we didn't have to?" he asked, as I came to a stop, but then continued, cleaning the dirt and blood away from his hands.

"Well, I do, and sometimes I just don't think about it-" I looked down at him, questioning his sudden sadness, "Mikey- are you asking me do I ever think of not being who I am- or what we are?" 

He sighed, leaning back in the water as the back of his shell nestled into the curve of the tub, "Not just that- but just the fighting and everything- I mean, look what happened," He exclaimed, motioning his hands down his body and I grimaced. 

I then moved to a better spot on my knees, letting the rug below cushion them on the hard tiled floor, "I think about it sometimes, but it's becoming a bigger habit here lately since- um, since you came home,"

Mikey scoffed, bending his legs as I scrubbed along his bare thighs, "More like thrown home," he muttered, causing me to stop, and I glanced at him sideways, seeing the motion of pain forming in his face. 

"I'm really sorry about all of this, Mikey-" I began, and slumped on the back of my legs while keeping my spine straight. When I looked at Mikey again, he was brushing his fingers over the surface of his arms, where cuts, bruises, and words that were indescribable display themselves. 

"I'm just glad I have you, even though you giving me a bath is a little awkward," he said, forcing a smile on his face. 

"Awkward?" I snorted, "If you think this is awkward then try doing it every single day until you were ten!"

He looked at me puzzled for a second then his eyes blew wide, "That was you?" he gasped.

I rolled my eyes and squeezed the sponge to release the water, "Yeah, Mikey- I was the one who bathed you when- you know, Dad didn't. You'd always run off someplace in the sewers and get dirty- You'd always be making everyone mud pies and bringing home frogs you'd find"

"Woah, I never knew you cared for me that much, D, and Frogs? Those slimy things! Yuck!" he retorted, darting his tongue out of his mouth in disgust. 

I smiled briefly and plopped the sponge on top of his head, and he squeaked with the sudden amount of water dripping down onto him, "More like fascinating- You didn't fear them when you were younger, In fact; You didn't fear much at all; Except Raph or ghosts," I laughed, and he joined in with me. 

Seeing him smile lit up my world. Mikey always had the brightest and biggest smile than any of us. He was always being goofy and making everyone have a laugh and keeping smiles on our own faces when we weren't feeling well. 

I hadn't noticed until now, that he was the one who kept everyone together.

He was our glue. 

"Don?" he said breaking me from my thoughts as the sponge remained in my hand on top of his head.

I blinked, "Oh, sorry was just thinking-"

"About what?" he questioned, not removing his eyes from my face as I continued my scrubbing routine, and moved down to his shoulders. 

"It's nothing for you to worry about Mikey- was just thinking about family and all," I shrugged before continuing and finally moving a little lower. 

"Do you still think about Splinter?"

"Sometimes," I answered, squeezing the sponge again.

"Raph and Leo hate him,"

"I wouldn't say Leo hates him, but he isn't happy with him at the moment; and neither are any of us, to be honest. I finally got him to see the wrong in it all,"

Mikey gripped my wrist as I moved towards his legs, and I looked at his face, where he gave me a pleading of an expression, "N-Not there," he said quietly and moved my hand to his tummy and I washed there and then pulled away while putting the sponge down. 

I sighed, and stood up with a bit of an ache in my knees, and grabbed a towel from the counter where I placed me and Mikey's masks. 

"You're as clean as I'm going to get you, so time to get outta there before you prune," I insisted, and slipped my hand into his and helped him out of the tub, and from what I saw, the remaining water going down the drain was a reddish-brown color, and the thought of how much blood was actually on Mikey nearly made me sick again. 

"Donnie, I think I'm capable of drying off," he said, trying to grab the towel from me, but I raised my arm up higher, and shook my head. 

"I said I'd take care of you, so no," 

He huffed, and glanced over my shoulder at the wall as I began to dry off his carapace first; then his arms, being very gentle, then his front and finishing off with the back of his calves.

"Are we done yet?" he asked, obviously annoyed by how slow I'm going- and I stood straight up and looked at him with confusion in my face. 

"What's with the sudden mood change?" I asked back but being just as snarky;

"I don't know what you're talking about," he muttered, limping past me to return to the hall and go towards his bedroom. 

-

Present Day

-

I don't know what went through Mikey's head on that day and what suddenly got him so upset. But since then, he hasn't really been the same.

He's been blunter here lately- and his attitude goes from happy to sad, or happy to mad in a matter of seconds. And the only time when that's not happening is when he's either asleep or has a comic book in his hand. 

Maybe this whole thing was going to change him. 

It was something neither I nor the brothers wanted, but if it happened; there would be nothing we could do to stop it. It was drastic enough of what happened to him, and I simply couldn't blame him if he changed. 

I watched him for a moment as he shifted in his sleep, and moved his head to a more comfortable spot on my lap, but positioning it where he actually shouldn't be, and the blood in my cheeks began to flare up, and I tried to move, or maybe move him; but he didn't budge, and snaked an arm around my torso, leaving me helpless at my escape. 

I didn't wanna come off bold or anything- but nothing well; sexual, has gone down since me and Leo fooled around the first time. And losing my virginity then not having more wasn't exactly easy for me. And I wondered if Leo was just too scared to make his own approach; but if it was the case, it was clear that I was too. 

"Mikey," I whispered, carefully shaking his shoulder, and he purred something from his lips, but I couldn't quite make out whatever it was. 

I sighed, looking down at the little goofball, as the apple of his cheek pressed further into my lower plastron, making it painful enough to avoid getting a boner. 

At least that's what I think they were called.

I had to move soon, or else things were gonna get real bad. I thought maybe my book would distract me, so I snatched it from the blankets tangled beneath me, and flipped to an empty page and tried to scribble whatever and anything down, but my mind continued to lead back to what was trying to happen. 

I hoped that this was just some kind of coincidence, and Mikey didn't purposely move there, which definitely and most positively couldn't have been the case. Not even a tsunami could wake Michelangelo, and everyone knew how heavy of a sleeper he was. 

I breathed in for a moment to just try and forget about whatever worry was to surface in my brain, and sunk a little deeper into the pillow behind me, until Mikey moved again, and nuzzled into the crevice between my clothed legs, and I felt my tail twitch. 

No.

Curse my goddamn hormones. 

"Mikey," I said again, knowing he was definitely going to have to move, and soon, and I'd be making a quick trip to the bathroom; knowing I could risk going to my own room to wake up Leo for some type of quickie. 

"Hmm," He hummed, moving his head until he was looking right up at me with half-opened eyes, and his cheeks were flushed just as bad as mine were. 

"Can you uh," I began, nodding my head at his position, "Maybe, Move?"

"I'm comfy," he groaned, hugging me tighter and nuzzling deeper, causing me to release a quiet gasp I hoped he didn't hear. 

"Uh, hah, well, I am too, but I need to go to the bathroom," I tried to explain, but he still didn't move, and only looked at me with wonder. 

"Bathroom?" he yawned, "But pillows don't pee," he joked, closing his eyes once more.

"Aww, c'mon, Mikey- please, I gotta go really bad!" I whined, pretending to do the best pee pretend dance I could, wiggling my own legs, causing his eyes to come open again.

Mikey crawled a hand up my stomach, and left it there just in the middle, and eyed me mysteriously- "D, you wouldn't be lying to me would you?" he asked suddenly with a hoarse like tone. 

Ugh, not this. Just let me go, it's too embarrassing!

I shook my head, "Why would I lie?" I gasped, acting as if I was a little hurt from his question and he tilted his head, "You know I never lie!"

I quickly glanced down at my watch and it read around eleven something- and I couldn't possibly want out of this position more than right now. 

"Never, huh," he giggled quietly still sounding half asleep, but he nuzzled me for the third time, and I knew the fight was over. 

My face flamed with embarrassment at how easy it was to get me going- and even Leo was the same, but he never cared too much for it as I did. I hated it; and wished it took longer, maybe even hours, though I knew that'd get a little annoying after a while. Why me.

The tightness in my shorts grew, and my head slumped back with defeat. 

"Never," I attempted to respond, hoping to whoever and whatever God was listening that Mikey didn't notice the intrusion.

I heard Mikey hum again, and I lifted my head up again, as he moved himself off of me and tilted his head at me again, then at my shorts. 

"Doesn't seem like the truth to me," he grinned, sounding a little less playful than usual, but all sarcasm. 

"Mikey," I sighed. 

"Seems like Don-Bon has himself a wee little issue," he giggled, being on his hands and knees now.

Don-Bon?

I looked at him taken back, "No, it was just a little accident; I-I can't help it," I said, giving him a bit of a glare as I went to stand up, but he pressed a hand to my chest and licked his bottom lip. 

That Tongue.

"Let me fix it," he said on a short breath, and my eyes widened. 

"What?" I asked, baffled, then I shook my head, "No!" 

"I will even if you say no," he insisted, pushing harder on my chest, forcing my head back against the pillow.

"You can't be serious," I laughed shortly and stared at him, noticing how darkness was forming in his eyes, and showing exactly how serious he was. 

"I don't lie, Donnie," he muttered before focusing on the buckle around my shorts and I tried to shove his hands away but he shot me a glare, "Don't make me tie you up," 

"Mikey!" I nearly shouted, but by the time his name came out; he already had my shorts halfway down; and once they were done restricting my body, my cock sprang up, and Mikey eyed it with such curiosity, only embarrassing me further. 

"Yours is a lot thinner than Raphs. . . but longer," he praised, filling my brain with impossible thoughts of what Raph would do to me if he knew what was happening-

"Mikey stop! He w-wouldn't like us doing this, he won't b-be happy with me," I stammered, reaching to pull my pants back up, but Mikey let out a small growl and ended up ripping my mask right from my face and holding my arms up to the metal bars of the bed, and tieing each of my wrists together with force. 

I knew physically that I was stronger than Mikey but at this point; I was done fighting- especially since he wanted to tie me up to show me how dead serious he actually was about this. 

I yanked just barely on the purple tassels restraining my hands, and I looked back at Mikey who went back to distracting himself with my lower regions. 

"I don't care about what Raph will think. He kissed Leo after all," he said, planting a small kiss on my hip bone, as my eyes knitted together in confusion.

"W-What?" I repeated, with the shock of all things in my voice. 

"Yeah," he quietly chirped, planting another kiss, then another, moving down my thigh.

Raph kissed Leo?

I felt my chest began to burn. And the confusion and pain writhing in my throat only forwarded the feeling in my gut. 

"M-Mikey," I gasped, pulling on the restraints again, as I felt the base of his tongue lick one long stripe down the head of my cock. 

He eyed me the whole time while doing it and the reddening on his face was the cutest but most vile thing I had ever seen. He licked again, causing my hips to twitch, and almost shoving some into his mouth. 

"Eager," he whispered, and I whined in confusion, wanting to curse at him to shut up and just do whatever he had to do, "Never knew for the one and only, Donatello, to be so impatient," he said, weighting the word impatient in his tone.

Fuck.

"Mike, this is, shit- it's wrong! This wasn't supposed to happen!" 

He stopped for a moment and eyed me again, but to only continue licking stripes down my shaft and reaching the end, to go right back up, "I'm sure Leo won't mind,"

Leo.

God, Leo would mind, he'd be furious with me, with Mikey maybe. Raph would bite my head off for fooling around with his mate. This wasn't okay but all at the same time, it clearly was. It clearly felt right at some turned corners. 

"Mikey what about your-" my mouth hung open for a second, watching Mikey swallow the first few inches of me, "I-Injuries, shit!" I cursed, not being able to rip my eyes away from the sight. 

Mikey gave me a slight shrug and I pulled on the restraints once more. 

It made me think back to the time when we all sat at the dinner table downstairs, and he told me and Leo about what he had done with Raph, and the tale of it all blew my curiosity to Neptune and back.

I had heard of this sort of thing- and even saw it all before, but the feeling- and the true way of it was nothing like seeing it or just reading about it. 

Mikey was unexpectedly talented at what he was doing and how, I'll never know, all I knew was that it was far too embarrassing to ask him to stop or question the possibility of how quick he was going to get me to finish. 

Mikey's eyes met mine again, his own lustfully but darkly filled as he sunk deeper, flicking his tongue against the tip, and pulling up to stretch his lips along the base again. 

"Holy-" I churred hearing Mikey release his own, and instantly began to thrust my hips, feeling my muscles clench at the sight wrapped around me, "Mikey you- ah, no, I-I'm!" I tried to warn, as he took every inch of me into his mouth, to only feel myself poking at the back of his throat. 

I felt the veins in my cock throb at such thought, action or even how this was entirely possible.

Mikey was barely even moving as well, and everything was already too good, and already too embarrassing for me. I wasn't going to last- it felt too good, and knowing that it was Mikey of all people wrapped around me and doing it for me, was all it took. 

I threw my head back with a loud churr, as my back arched up off of the bed and my cock pulsated at the final drag Mikey sucked in and I released into his mouth. 

A minute or even what felt like ages went by before I had noticed I was holding my breath. I panted heavily letting my blurry vision take me as my entire body relaxed. 

I felt Mikey shuffle beneath me, and suddenly my shorts were back up but left undone, and he crawled up next to my head, as my arms were suddenly let loose, and my vision returned only halfway- and my eyes fluttered at him, and I heard him giggle. 

"You're kind of cute when you're dazed," he said, as I heard a smile in his voice, "Oh, I almost forgot!" he suddenly praised, and moved over to the bedside drawer. I heard him fumbling around for a second then return at my side, "I thought you'd maybe need these," 

I blinked, still not saying anything as Mikey slid something familiar onto my unmasked face, and my eyes were welcomed by an even clearer sight again. 

My glasses.

"How," I started, staring up at his still blushing face, and he shrugged with a small giggle.

"I've been tinkering with them. I've learned a thing or two from you over the years, Donnie," he smiled, leaning down to my face as the heat in my cheeks returned, "But I think the thing I've learned the most from you, is honesty and passion," he whispered, before planting a light kiss on my lips, surprising me a little more than I already was. 

At first; I didn't move, nor kiss back. But the taste from his previous actions and the way he smelt couldn't hold me back any longer. 

I kissed him and felt his hands wander to my neck and pull me in further to his lips, biting at my lower and causing me to release a hiss mixed with another churr of his own. Mikey seemed desperate for this. 

I could see it and feel it within my heart that he was hurt- and more hurt than I'd ever been over everything- and the ache he held behind his kiss was enough to get me to wrap both of my arms around his smaller waist and bring him to my lap, where I held him for the remainder of the night- trying to put whatever together of what had just happened. 

I somewhere deep down, hoped Mikey didn't do any of this to just get back at what our other brothers had done, or even; make himself feel better over what happened to him. 

I genuinely loved Mikey more than words could describe, but using me wasn't the answer to his pain, revenge and hurt. 

Nor was it mine. 

ᵀᵒ ᴮᵉ Cᵒⁿᵗⁱⁿᵘᵉᵈ


	23. ᴹᵉᵈⁱᶜⁱⁿᵉ

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> " ᵂʰᵃᵗ ᴵˢ Yᵒᵘʳ ᴾᵒⁱˢᵒⁿ "   
ᴵˢ ᵇᵃˢᵉᵈ ᵘᵖᵒⁿ ᶜᵒᵐᵖˡᵉᵗᵉ ᶠⁱᶜᵗⁱᵒⁿ ᵃⁿᵈ ⁱᵈᵉᵃ'ˢ ᴴʸᵈʳᵃᵏⁱⁿᶻ, ᴴᵃˢ ᶜᵒˡˡᵉᶜᵗᵉᵈ ᵒᵛᵉʳ ᵗʰᵉ ᵖˡᵒᵗ ᵒᶠ ʰᵉʳ ᶠᵃᵛᵒʳⁱᵗᵉ ᶠᵃⁿᵈᵒᵐ ᵒᶠ ᵃˡˡ ᵗⁱᵐᵉ, ᵀᴹᴺᵀ
> 
> Book Two Out Now! 
> 
> This Story Contains #Turtlecest. 
> 
> ໓໐ຖ't likē, ໓໐ຖ't rēค໓.
> 
> After Raphael and Leonardo think that their brothers are dead from a warehouse explosion, they mourn the deaths of what remained, including the lie and betrayal of their father faking his own death to keep them safe. Raph and Leo try to move on, but more than twenty surprises hit them in the face like a ton of bricks when Donnie and Mike return to the lair after a fight for adventure. Feelings begin to bloom over the loss. And drama forms and rains over their heads like a storm.
> 
> Falling In Love With Your Own Sibling Was Never going to be easy-- but getting them to love you back was a challenge-- Only in reality-- they all loved each other just as equal. 
> 
> Read ᵂʰᵃᵗ ᴵˢ Yᵒᵘʳ ᴾᵒⁱˢᵒⁿ to find out what unfolds right before their eyes, and to be there every step of the way as these four brothers discover what true love and sacrifice truly means to have exactly what you want.

ᵂʰᵃᵗ ᴵˢ Yᵒᵘʳ ᴾᵒⁱˢᵒⁿ

Cʰᵃᵖᵗᵉʳ ˣˣᴵᴵ

ᴹᵉᵈⁱᶜⁱⁿᵉ

[ Leonardo ]

Today was our final day in Japan.

So far, this vacation was a failure, but since the accident things got worse than they were. Even the waves and relationships in the house were changing- Nobody ever mentioned it, nor spoke about it, but I felt how dark things were slowly getting as the time passed.

"So, when are we leavin'?" questioned Raph, leaning back on his hands as we both sat on the back deck at the edge of the pool. He chose to stick his feet in, but I didn't bother. 

"I dunno gotta ask Donnie," I answered faintly with a sigh at the sound of his name. We've been distant here lately and didn't have a clue why- and I didn't wanna ask why- but the silence was killing me in ways I never thought I'd even get the feeling of. 

Why did his absence upset me so damn much?

And Thinking about it now, that was a dumb question. I mean, I loved him. Didn't I? I really did. This stuff was still all so confusing for me, and I wondered if Raph ever felt the same. He hasn't been around Mikey much since his injuries, and from what I heard, they also aren't getting along with one another. 

But why? 

I glanced briefly at Raph next to me. He seemed comfortable. As if nothing was bothering him. I envied him in a way I didn't think I ever would. Envy is such an evil thing and me, of all people envying Raphael. Jesus. 

"Have you heard a word from Gyoji?" 

I shook my head, and finally slipped my feet into the water, "Nothing from what I know. He said he was really worried about Dad, and The Ancient One, and sounded as serious enough to go and look for them himself, though, at the time, I wanted to find them,"

"Still kind of hard to believe, we are considered some sort of God's over there," Raph snickers, and I nudge him in the shoulder. 

"I wasn't lying about that you know, They had paintings and everything- and I mean, You saw the weapons- our weapons," 

He shrugged, "I dunno, I'm still kind of debating which ones I like the most, the new ones are such high tech, and I'm not really a big fan of the modern arts, Leo," 

"You'll get used to them," I reassured, moving my feet around in the water. 

"Easy for you to say- Yours are practically the same as your old ones, except you've got all that magic and junk,"

"Just shows how much better I am than you," I grin, and he shoots me a glare from the side and shoves me into the pool. 

I release a loud shriek before I'm thrown in, and I dive under and return to the surface, rubbing the water from my eyes, "You're a dick!" I cough, trying splashing him. 

He stares at me a moment letting a grin of his own, appear on his face, and continues to chew on that damned toothpick I wanted to rip away from him every single time I saw it. 

"Yeah, and you're a selfish prick, bro," he laughs but reaches out for my hand, and I stare at it, as my eyes dart from his smug face to that hand, and I reach for it; and grip it tight and yank him into the water with me with a large splash. 

After he surfaces, he shoves me hard enough to move me across half the pool, and I laugh, coming to shove him back. 

What I was thinking only minutes ago had washed away within seconds when me and Raph started play fighting around in the water. Under and over, and all around, the wrestling began and I hadn't even noticed the patio door sliding open. 

"Leo?"

I stopped, and the smile from my face faded away when I saw Donnie standing only inches from the door, and I pulled away from Raph who looked at me puzzled, but then climbed out of the pool to squeeze out any excess water from his bandana. 

Don looked between the two of us for a moment then stretched his arm out to reveal a letter with a wax stamp on the back. 

"It's from Gyoji," he said, answering my thoughts, and I slowly wadded to the edge of the pool and jumped out. 

"How does that dude even know where we're staying?" Raph added in and putting his mask back on. 

I stared into Donnie's eyes before taking the letter, and he gave me a small smile before heading inside, "Wait- don't you wanna hear this?" 

He turned, and shrugged, "I don't really care too much for it. It's probably some more bad news or something- I don't wanna be involved," 

"What's wrong with you?" Raph asked, causing Donnie to look in his direction then back at me. 

"Homesick I guess, but fine, open the letter, Leonardo," he sighed, and I just now noticed something about him, and the familiar glass frames capturing his piercing brown eyes surprised me. 

I was dazed for a moment until I slid my finger underneath the wax stamp, and popped the envelope open, and pulled out a blank scripture letter. 

"Leonardo, Son, Here are my most sincere apologies for not contacting you sooner, but I've recently had a word to me about the end of the Nagato line. You four have been absolutely extraordinary for our family to carry on our only tradition to keep this country safe," I read off, cringing at the praise of words, not being used to the whole taking credit thing- though I'd never agree to any of it, but I'd give my thanks anyway- "I know this will be a touchy subject for you, and the rest of your brothers, but your father has wished you his best and made a promise to explain all of this nonsense, soon enough. But he had said he doesn't know when, nor does he know when he will return into your lives,"

"You've gotta be kiddin' me," Raph scoffed, and I silenced him with a hand and continued reading-

"He wishes to apologize, himself. But he knows that neither of you will understand or even accept his words at this moment and time. I am just as angry with him as all of you and know your pain from my own personal experiences. You told me after the job I planted with you, You and your brothers will be leaving Japan, and I truly wish you all well. But do not worry I will see you, and get to meet the rest of your trio soon eventually- and Before I take my leave and say my goodbyes, I wanted to warn you all about the weapons again, and explain in further detail about the chains I've sent you all--" I stopped, and looked up from the page and met eyes with Don who was just as confused as the rest of us here. 

"Chains?" Raph questioned, looking over my shoulder at the piece of paper. 

"Did this letter come with a box or something?" and Donnie shook his head at me with a cross of his arms. 

"No, I didn't see a box. I just found that letter on the welcome mat at the front door. I figured it was for you anyway- so," 

I was beyond confused. Maybe Gyoji made a mistake and didn't mention any mail of sort. 

I glanced back down at the letter that was nearly finished, and found my place again, "You four will need to find the inner strength within yourselves before either of you find the true meaning behind the weapons you wield. Some might be bad, or even life-changing for you. And here I am, explaining this to you when I'm not supposed to. So, I hope you all are internally grateful for the gifts I hand to you, spiritually and wholeheartedly- but for now, just remember to pay very close attention to yourselves when doing either good or bad deeds. I really do wish you all good fortune, and I will speak with you soon enough. Thank you again, Yours Truly; Gyoji Namayoshi,"

After I finished reading- I folded the letter up, and sighed heavily and looked at both of my eldest brothers, who were just as puzzled as me. 

"What was he talkin' about- finding things in ourselves?" Raph asked, shaking his head with a taste of anger in his voice. 

"How should I know? When I was up there, he just mentioned that they hold great power. He didn't say anything like this. Maybe we'll find out eventually," 

"Hmph," 

"Sounds like the spirits of the Chi," Donnie spoke up, catching my interests immediately,

"Chi? The Spirit God?"

"The hell are you guys talkin' about?" 

I glanced at Raph, then down at the letter, "Centuries ago, there was a warrior, a girl, who was spoken down upon for her looks, and her freakish nature,"

"They called her Venus but was eventually ruled as Chi for her spiritual connection with these different types of abilities that have to do with her emotions. As she grew older, the people from before who spoke vaguely about her, soon regretted their decisions because of her sudden abilities for anger. She didn't use any type of specific weaponry or anything over the top- It was just her, and her body and mind. She was a Goddess in everyone's eyes, and when she got the respect she so desired from the people in her village, she taught them the ways of the Chi, and many people all over the world in our type of hobbies if you wanna call them that; beg those, and even pay millions, and have even killed to learn the logic behind the Chi," Donnie explained- and his knowledge only made me love him more than what I originally knew before. 

"But if she was like some worshiped God, then what happened to her, where is she now?" 

"Some say she was either murdered or just died of old age," I answered with the thoughts of what was just told to me. 

Dad was fine, But I didn't think anyone else really cared about his health or well being now. Only I did, but I understood why they didn't. Even Mikey- and he was the only one who had even the smallest bit left for him. I hated Sensei just as much as the rest of us did, but I couldn't just not worry about him, and what the hell he's getting himself into. 

"Leo," I heard Donnie say and I looked up from the letter in my hand again, and realized it was just me and him now. 

I wondered when Raph left but I didn't really care, considering it had been a long time coming for me and Donnie to be alone together. 

"What do you think about all this?" I then asked, walking forward, only being a few inches away from him now as I grab ahold of his hand, and he hesitates with gripping back.

"I dunno, but I wanna talk about something-" he admits, and my stomach twists at the sound of his voice, and he pulls his hand away to walk over to the pool. 

"Um, okay?" I waited, and followed him, "What's going on? Is Mikey okay?"

I heard him let out a small laugh, "Yeah," he half-smiles, "He's a lot better than you think, but um," Don then frowns, fiddling nervously with his fingers, which he always had done since I remembered, "Speaking of Mikey- he told me something-" 

I stared at him, as he tilted sideways and gave me an eye-locking expression, full of concern, but I could see hurt in those eyes of his. 

Oh, no.

"Yeah?" 

Donnie glanced at the water again, and twisted his green fingers more, "Said that you and Raph kissed," 

I froze in place, wondering how in the absolute fuck did Mikey know about that. How did he even find out? Did Raph tell him, and not let me know about it? Since that night; days after the fight and before the horrible shadow of what they did to our youngest sibling- we hadn't spoken about it but somehow grown closer to each other over time. 

I shamefully craved it again. I grossly admitted my obsession for the way me and my dick of a brother shared a kiss, and I enjoyed it. 

"What makes you think that's true?" 

Donnie looked at me, knowing my words were full of bullshit, "What makes you think Michelangelo would lie?"

I rolled my eyes and took a step back, "Come on Don, Mikey is hurt; he is just talking out of his head, why would he say a thing like that? Plus, me and Raph? Are you kidding?"

Donnie rose his hand to wipe the tear that fell from his eye, and I nearly dropped to my knees.

"I was beginning to think the lying with you would stop," he gushed, and a sarcastic grin played across his small face. 

"Donnie," I began. 

"Just don't alright? I know it's true, because if it wasn't- then you wouldn't lie to my face like this, and I'm supposed to be your mate. Just like Raph is meant to be Mikey's! But no, I guess you both have more in common than you think. You're both jerks!" 

God, what have I done?

"It was only a kiss okay?" I sighed, and he shook his head, "Just this one-time thing- and that's it- Don, please," I grabbed his wrist and he flenched as I pull him to me.

He frantically shook his head as I forced my lips on his, and he tried to fight me. I didn't let up, and I didn't know what to do. 

I almost had forgotten about the kiss and all of my feelings and anger behind it. I hated Raph in ways I couldn't express, and I loved him in others I refused to admit. 

Donnie finally broke away from me, and stumbled back, staring at me with hurt in his eyes, "Just don't. Please, You've done enough to me!"

My eyes widen, "You can't be fucking serious right now!"

"I am serious, Leo! Why wouldn't I be? We are supposed to be one, and you run off and kiss someone else!" he shouted, balling his fists up. 

"I didn't think we were that serious, Donnie!" I retorted, throwing my hands up, and he looked at me baffled.

"You didn't think we were that serious? So, were we even in a relationship to you?" he croaked, on the edge of breaking down, and I couldn't bring myself to bear the sight of that. 

I didn't know what to reply with, so I just shook my head, earning a gasp from him, and suddenly I felt a sting across my cheek. 

"Maybe you are just like those people in the movies; just a regular asshole with his only intention is of himself. And for ages, I envied Mikey and Raph. I wanted us to be like them for so long- because, do you have any idea how long Raph wanted him, or even how long I wanted you? No, of course, you didn't. The fearless leader just cares about his fights, and the piece of crap that raised us then abandoned us!" 

The tears coming down his face made me feel an emptiness I thought I had only without Sensei. But this, it was worse. I hurt the person I knew I loved most, but I was just as coward as Dad to admit it or even embrace the true nature of something I was never into, nor thought of alone. 

"I'm-" I began, but Donnie just stopped me again, and went inside, leaving me outside as the sun was setting behind me, igniting the cowering shadow lingering on the wooden doorframe. 

Why did I have to depend on someone who wasn't even here? Why did I keep hurting those around me? Why am I losing the only brother that understands me the most?

I could run, I could try and hide, and I could leave, but nothing I did, no matter what would keep the endless amount of pain withering in my chest away-

I couldn't keep ignoring the true things in front of me. I couldn't keep hiding what I was really feeling- and the tests, the training- the words, and all the bloodshed had been caused because of me. 

Me.

ᵀᵒ ᴮᵉ Cᵒⁿᵗⁱⁿᵘᵉᵈ


	24. Cᵃⁿᵈˡᵉˢ ᴬⁿᵈ ᴸᵒⁿᵍ ᵀʳⁱᵖˢ

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> " ᵂʰᵃᵗ ᴵˢ Yᵒᵘʳ ᴾᵒⁱˢᵒⁿ "   
ᴵˢ ᵇᵃˢᵉᵈ ᵘᵖᵒⁿ ᶜᵒᵐᵖˡᵉᵗᵉ ᶠⁱᶜᵗⁱᵒⁿ ᵃⁿᵈ ⁱᵈᵉᵃ'ˢ ᴴʸᵈʳᵃᵏⁱⁿᶻ, ᴴᵃˢ ᶜᵒˡˡᵉᶜᵗᵉᵈ ᵒᵛᵉʳ ᵗʰᵉ ᵖˡᵒᵗ ᵒᶠ ʰᵉʳ ᶠᵃᵛᵒʳⁱᵗᵉ ᶠᵃⁿᵈᵒᵐ ᵒᶠ ᵃˡˡ ᵗⁱᵐᵉ, ᵀᴹᴺᵀ
> 
> Book Two Out Now! 
> 
> This Story Contains #Turtlecest. 
> 
> ໓໐ຖ't likē, ໓໐ຖ't rēค໓.
> 
> After Raphael and Leonardo think that their brothers are dead from a warehouse explosion, they mourn the deaths of what remained, including the lie and betrayal of their father faking his own death to keep them safe. Raph and Leo try to move on, but more than twenty surprises hit them in the face like a ton of bricks when Donnie and Mike return to the lair after a fight for adventure. Feelings begin to bloom over the loss. And drama forms and rains over their heads like a storm.
> 
> Falling In Love With Your Own Sibling Was Never going to be easy-- but getting them to love you back was a challenge-- Only in reality-- they all loved each other just as equal. 
> 
> Read ᵂʰᵃᵗ ᴵˢ Yᵒᵘʳ ᴾᵒⁱˢᵒⁿ to find out what unfolds right before their eyes, and to be there every step of the way as these four brothers discover what true love and sacrifice truly means to have exactly what you want.

ᵂʰᵃᵗ ᴵˢ Yᵒᵘʳ ᴾᵒⁱˢᵒⁿ

Cʰᵃᵖᵗᵉʳ ˣˣᴵᴵᴵ

Cᵃⁿᵈˡᵉˢ ᴬⁿᵈ ᴸᵒⁿᵍ ᵀʳⁱᵖˢ

{ Smut Warning }

[ Raphael ]

The same car, same plane, and the same damn infuriating awkward silence that fills both me and the rest of my brothers.

We barely said a word to one another once we landed back in New York. But not even that bothered me. I couldn't be any happier to smell the familiar land of my own home.

The scents, the scenery, and just the memories rushing back into my brain are what put everything back together that had happened in the last couple of weeks.

The number of looks I gave Mikey along the way was something I lost count with. He didn't move or even speak the entire trip home. I didn't bother him since he told me to leave him alone, as he did with the rest of us, except for Don.

I tried to not let it bother me that he let him around and not me. I wanted to argue, and ask questions, but I simply couldn't bring myself to cause more trouble, or tension than there already was.

"How long now?" I suddenly asked, filling the vehicle with the noise its been needing for the past hour or two.

I heard Donnie shift in the driver's seat; and with a quiet voice, "About ten minutes,"

I glanced at Leo, who was seated next to me in the back, but he was mindlessly staring out of the side window.

He was also quiet; but shit. What was I talkin' about? We all were, and that was just- weird.

Once we got to Manhattan, and back to the lair, things kind of stayed the same.

Mikey walked by me once we got in the tunnels, and I grabbed his wrist and he flinched at my sudden grasp, and looked at me a little puzzled, "You alright? You haven't said a word all day, kind of unlike you,"

He shrugged, and slowly pulled his hand away from mine, and I frowned at the loss of contact, "Fine,"

"You don't seem fine, Mikey- why won't you just look at me?" I questioned, letting it slip out before my brain can even think it.

Mikey pressed his lips together, then sighed, "I dunno, bro, things aren't really the same,"

"The same," I scoffed, "The hell you mean, the same? I thought everything was okay with us- I mean, obviously, things aren't with Don and Leo, but us, what's goin' on?"

He stared at me for a moment, obviously not knowing what to say but I couldn't help but push further, with all of this ridiculous nonsense, "The only ones fine here is you and Leo," he muttered before walking away from me, leaving me stunned.

I watched Mikey walk away and head up to his room, but I caught another eye which was Leo staring at me, and something about his expression told me that he was just as messed up as me about this whole thing-

I gripped the handle of my bag and headed into the lounge area, where Leo dropped his own bag on the sofa. I didn't see Donnie anywhere and I assumed he disappeared along with Mikey of course.

"What?"

Leo didn't say anything at first, "They know,"

I furrowed a hairless brow, confused up to my ass, "Know what?"

Leo shook his head with a half-grin as if I was joking or something- "Think about it Raph!" he snapped quietly- "It doesn't take a genius to figure it out,"

I threw my bag on the floor, and growled at the attitude in his tone, "What, that damn kiss?"

He looked away at the mention of it and even had a reddening color on his face, "They both know, did you tell Mikey?"

"Of course I didn't!"

"Well, I didn't so how the fuck did he find out! Donnie said that Mikey told him, and then Don told me, and he-" Leo frantically cut himself off, looking hurt, "He started crying and, I didn't know what to do!" he admitted, running a hand over his head.

"Cried?" I repeated, also not knowing what to say or admit to myself.

Since the intimate time me and Leo shared that one night; I didn't really think about it. I figured that it just happened to happen, and maybe we would just forget it because of how we were fighting that night; I don't know. I really didn't. I didn't think it was that important; and I realized that was the reason for Mikey's strange behavior with me, and the distance Donnie shared with Leo.

They hated us.

"I didn't think it was going to cause this many issues," Leo mumbled, slumping over in the bean bag chair.

"Well, it doesn't take a genius neither to figure out how much Donnie fuckin' loves you, Leo," I then spat, and he didn't move, "What about you?"

He then looked up, "What about me?"

"Do you love him?" I growled.

Leo didn't answer right away and the longer it took him, the more it worried me, and the more it hurt me for Donnie. This bastard wasn't even sure of his own feelings for a brother that would probably die for him.

"I do, Raph, I do, I'm just- I'm really confused," he finally said, huffing loudly-

"Is that the way it was when you two had sex?" I threw at him with very little hesitation.

He looked up at me again as I took a step closer, practically towering over him now, "How the hell did you know about that?"

I rolled my eyes, "Are you seriously asking me that? Me and Mikey knew about that ages ago, and we've even mentioned it with sly comments- plus, c'mon, Leo, for someone so private, you sure aren't quiet when you're mating in the bedroom," I smirked.

Leo's face spread with embarrassment and he quickly stood up from his position and headed for the stairs.

"You still ain't answered my question, Leo," I then added, stopping him from reaching the second floor.

His shoulders lowered with another weak sigh, "They call it a love triangle for a reason, Raph,"

I stared at the back of his head for what seemed like ages, but the words that slipped from his mouth only reminded me of the things they say in movies or on cheesy television shows.

"Love Triangle? Leo- you aren't sayin' what I think you're sayin' are ya?" I asked quietly and edged my way towards him, where he turned his head to face me.

"What, what on earth could you possibly be thinking that I'm talking about?" he then laughed, obviously sounding hurt in some sort of way-

I swallowed thickly, "Well, from what I heard that could only mean but two things,"

His eyes met mine, and I could see the hurt. The pain and confusion behind those blue waves of desire I knew he secretly held for me. Even I was confused by all this, and at one point back in Japan, I thought I had all of this shit in control.

"Why does it have to be like this?"

"Like what?"

His lips pursed, and he threw his hands up turning to sit on one of the steps, "Love, or hormones, or whatever the fuck this is- is it always this difficult?" he asked, now looking at me again.

I knew the full answer to his question. But there was a part of me that wanted to walk away from whatever he was trying to drop on my head; though I knew deep down what it was.

"Imprinting is never easy- but I never thought it could happen with two people at once," I admitted, standing there, but only a few feet away from him.

I watched as he placed his head in his hands, and knotted his fingers in the long tassels retreating from his mask, "It all started with you, you know?"

My eyes widen, "What?" I nearly shouted.

I heard him laugh, then look up at me, biting the edge of his lip, "Yeah, it was something I pretty much buried, ya know?"

"Why didn't you fuckin' tell me, Leo?"

He shrugged, "Why didn't you tell Mikey?"

I shook my head, with another quiet snarl, "I asked you first!"

"I asked second," he retorted, crossing his arms over his chest.

"Because I didn't wanna lose him!" I pointed out, trying not to be too loud, "Why the fuck else?"

I noticed the muscles flexing in Leo's jaw, and he slowly stood, "Maybe that's why I didn't tell you, and maybe I was just too scared,"

"Of what, man? You think I'm gonna hit you for sharin' your emotions with your own brother?"

He hesitates, then steps forward to me, "You know what- yeah. Yeah I was. You- you can be unbearable sometimes, and you never listened to me back then, before that damn trip; it's like Japan was our curse,"

"How was it a curse; I think it was great for us, and I think Don and Mike would agree, but they- fuck, they aren't really havin' anything to do with us,"

"Oh, I wonder why Raph," he said sarcastically causing me to grit my teeth.

"Maybe we should just forget about all this, and head to bed or somethin- it is almost twelve," I sighed.

"Forget about it?" he questioned, looking baffled by my approach, "Do you honestly think I can stand here and forget everything- so much is going on, Raphael! I hurt Donnie more than I did when I put my fucking hands on him, and now here I am, admitting how much I love you just as much as I love him! And I'm telling you- I will never choose!"

He comes closer, taking my hand in his and I nearly jerk away but something in my body doesn't want me to. It wants to touch Leo as badly as he wants to me, and even somewhere deep inside I love all three of these idiots equally all the same, nor would I choose either.

"Leo," I muttered, locking my jaw, and relaxing my muscles at the touch of his fingers, which felt more delicate than I remembered.

"Raph, please, you have to understand," he whispered, closing in on me, while his voice sounded distant; almost shaky- he caressed the back of my neck, as fingers dug into the fabric of my own disguise.

"We can't," I said quietly but when I spoke, I felt like my denial only drug him in closer, and when our lips touched for the second time since the first; I felt like the world around me was spinning with every definition of confusion I could bargain.

Leo was hungry for my touch; eager for my taste, and for a moment; with the amount of guilt I began to carry- I wondered if Mikey thirsted for me as much as Leo obviously did.

I pushed hard against Leo's mouth, letting our kiss linger for what felt like ever. A forever, I didn't think I wanted to end. His fingers were digging deeper into that spot on my neck that made me tick the most; and with little hesitation, I couldn't help but release a churr into his mouth, only to receive one of his own.

His mouth, tongue, and scent were sweet; hot even, and something about it drove me crazy even at the worst of times, like these. I needed to pull away- push him away- maybe hit him like he thought I would, but there was no way I could hurt Leo after I found out just how vulnerable he was to me, or even to Don.

These damned emotions, secrets, and obsessions, along with whatever animal instinct we had for one another, would be our fucking downfall. And if it was left up to me, I'd catch them all if they did.

"Leo, we--" I panted, parting my way from his face, and with a small whine, he pulled my head downwards again to connect me to his mouth again.

"Please, Raph," he begged against my lips, digging deep for the response I knew he wanted.

We couldn't. Not like this. I couldn't. It took every fiber of my damn body to not say yes, and give him exactly what he wanted. This wasn't the Leo I knew or the one I occasionally hated. This was someone in pain, with a ton of confusion barreling right for his heart; and if he didn't get himself in control; things would get worse.

As soon as I was about to pull away again, every light in the lair went off; along with every stretch of power.

Me and Leo pulled away briefly to glance around as the darkness surrounded us; which was something we were sort of used to.

I did know one thing and that being of Mikey hated being in the dark, and Donnie didn't mind it as long as he had a handy flashlight.

Maybe he was with him; comforting him, while I play mind-games with the fearless leader, who was head over heels for me.

I felt Leo tug on my hand and heard him snatch something from somewhere, and we were moving quickly- and I didn't have a clue where we were going until I stepped into a shallow pool of water, and instantly figured that we were in one of the tunnels again, but we didn't stop for a few turns.

"Leo, where are we going?" I asked, hearing the whispers of my voice echo off the walls.

"Far enough so we won't be heard," he said, confusing me; yet again.

"Won't be heard, Leo- you know we can't!" I started, but that's when we stopped, and Leo let go of my hand to light a match, and suddenly a flash of dim lighting from a candle spread only but a few inches between me and my alpha brother. He then lit another one.

"The breakers must be fried again; we didn't bother shutting anything off before we left so all the juice is used up I guess; I'm sure Donnie will deal with it," he sighed, placing the candles on the ground next to us.

I blinked, "Or maybe you could go back and fix it yourself!"

Leo looked at me in the dim lighting and the flame from the candles pierced his eyes; with only imagining it was doing the same to mine, making this moment so much worse. Leo looked astounding at this angle, even if it was me looking directly at him. He still looked hot as well, and maybe somewhat fuckin' innocent with his eyes.

"I want something else, Raphael," he said quietly but flatly while reaching for the buttons on the front of my pants. I quickly grabbed both of his wrists and tried to shove him away while gritting a quick, No, but by the time I was pulling a move, he had pulled his own slick ones and pushed the palm of his lefty against the pocket where my already growing erection hid.

"L-Leo, this ain't right!" I huffed, and he shoved my frame against the walls of the tunnel causing a bit of a rattle between me and the concrete, "You're g-gonna regret this!"

"I don't care," he swore, but I knew this wasn't going to end well. I wanted him, and badly too- especially with what was happening as we speak- but it was only gonna cause more damn problems that we simply didn't need. I knew he wouldn't stop either unless I hurt him, but I just couldn't.

I fucking couldn't.

"Leo!" I pleaded, as the tip of his index pierced my slit; and I threw my head back, not knowing what was coming over me, but this jackass had forced me to stop hiding with one move, one work of his fucking finger. Shit; this was embarrassing!

"Easier than I thought," Leo said, sounding surprised though relieved, and at that, I wanted to punch him in the face. I couldn't tell if he was the one controlling me, or if I was with him; and even if he was, I wasn't going to let it happen; teasing or not.

I growled a bit louder than before, where my hands remained gripping tight on his muscular forearms, "Leo, you fuck- this isn't!--" I cursed but was cut off by his lips; again.

I felt a little light-headed; the fuck was goin' on? How was this even happening and how did he have this much control over me? Leo, God, Leo of all people, why now; Why of waited this long- He was a bastard; but so stubborn, and also the spoiled brat of the bunch. He got everything he ever wanted, and now, I guessed I was on his Christmas List and totally screwed.

I couldn't bring myself to tell him to stop, I couldn't hurt him, and I couldn't bear to say I didn't want this. It felt like something that was long-awaited; something that needed to happen. I've turned into something I feared the most; someone weak, someone fearful of my actions let alone words. I practically turned into a puddle when Leo touched me.

I wanted to be angry- but this; I was in way too deep, and there was no going back.

I took Leo's arms in my hands and switched up the pace with one move by shoving him against the wall behind me. The smug fucker had an open grin on his face. He knew what he was doing to me, as did I; and fuck it was horrible and infuriating-

The burning in my gut was his fault; and I felt guilt; disgust and a whole shit load of anger, but everything else, and all good things were overriding it.

I was panting heavily like some animal ready to take its prey- I stared down at Leo, holding his hands above his head.

"If you want this, you won't be teasin' me!" I warned, not carin' about how loud I am, and Leo softened at my words, becoming almost weak-looking- "Mikey does that shit, and I hate it,"

"I'm sure Mikey does a lot to you, Raph," he muttered, leaning into me, causing my heart to pound against my rib cage, "But the two of us, we could make the world crumble,"

I sighed, pushing my forehead against his while releasing my grip on his hands; letting them fall onto my shoulders, "Whatever happens, it- none of this will be good,"

Leo gave me a strangely comforting frown, and I knew that he knew it too. He knew this wouldn't end well; things were so messed up, and we-- we were so messed up. Leo traced the tip of his fingers down my neck and back up to caress my face while never removing those sad eyes from mine.

"What we grieve for is never good, but you want it too. You sin too," he whispered, bringing my face closer and almost touching his lips to mine, "This, it's so quick; I know, but I'm tired of hiding everything- I'm not this fearless person as you all claim I am; I'm scared of this shit; and only you can help me with it!" Leo admitted but practically begged.

For the millionth time tonight; he left me stunned, and I couldn't help but feel utterly under whatever fucking spell he was throwing at me. I leaned forward, nuzzling his face a bit before kissing his lips once, then twice; but he wanted more, and forced me in for it. Whatever he was wanting- whatever he needed; it was exactly what I was going to give him.

Our kissing turned sloppy almost; rough, and needy with every clank of our teeth, and bite and nibble, he was already a mess. I reassured myself that it was fine to put a finger on him, and I slid a hand down to where the buttons on his own pants were fastened. I quickly popped them open, and not even to my surprise, Leo was ready for me. He was practically begging for it without even saying a word between us; except for the heavy breathing and silky smell radiating from our bodies.

"Turn around," I demanded, as he quickly obeyed and turned to face the wall, knowing what to prepare for; though he was in way over his head.

"Don't hold back," he said quietly and the way he said it made me want this even more. He truly was a spoiled little boy at heart; and a bitch when he wanted to be. But this- this wasn't my Leo, and this Leo, while I had the chance, I was going to take the most advantage of possible.

"I'm supposed to prep ya," I whispered, but he shook his head, leaning on the wall with his hands.

"N-No,"

"Leo," I tried to argue, but he gave me a look over his shoulder and I huffed, only being just as impatient as he was.

"Raph, would you please just- please," he sighed, pushing against me, "This is already humiliating enough!" he then hid his face in the corner of his arm, and it nearly made me smile.

I forced him to bend and arch his back forward and with a few adjustments, Leo's pants were on the ground, hooked around his ankles, "I don't wanna hurt you, Leo, why can't you see that?" I mumbled, pushing my weight against his carapace, which he thrived on and pushed back just as hard, where I felt his tail poke at my hip.

"I know! I know, but this- I just want it, just this once," he defended, still breathing heavily.

When he begged, he urged me on further, but when he said just this once, I had a feeling it wasn't going to be a one-time thing- and things from here were only going to get worse, but so fuckin' nasty and good.

"Fine," I snapped quietly, giving up, and holding the head of my cock just at the winking entrance below his tail, where it wiggled, and stuck straight up, and getting ready for me to mate him in the vilest way possible. I pushed in, and with a swift thrust of my hips, I went all in, letting him swallow me whole.

"Raph!" he cried out, and I held my hand around his throat from behind, letting the vibration from his noises surge throughout my body forcing me to thrust in further, then pull out by only a few inches then go right back in.

"Fuck, Leo, you needa relax!" I whispered hoarsely and pushed my weight on him again while hearing those noises from before, that I didn't even know he had. The noises were my favorite out of sex; and it's intimacy- it made every nerve in me go wild and take off like a firework in a bottle.

"R-Relax?" he panted, with another groan, "Shit; don't stop, I want it to hurt!"

The heat beneath my skin was rising to a pitch of flavor that was so sweet; so disgusting but yet so intoxicating that I couldn't help but lose absolute control. I gripped Leo by his throat and forced myself in him again; the tightness surrounding me feeling unbearable.

"So fucking sick aren't ya, Leo?" I growled, gripping tighter, and he gasped a churr, pushing back against me the best he possibly could, "So sick for wanting your younger brother like this; and now, you're gettin' it, because you're an annoying spoiled little shit with his belt on too tight,"

Leo leaned his head back on my shoulder while reaching to grab the hand that still remained around his throat; "Fuck; Raphie, harder!" he whined in response.

Damn.

That name- dammit!

Fully wrapping my hand around Leo's throat now, I rammed into him and quickening my pace by the second, and already bringing myself closer than expected, "Shit, Leo, you like that, huh?" I bit back as the heat in my body was boiling from the smell, the feelings coursing in me. I was close, and he wanted it; I had to keep reminding myself that he wanted this; and the bad part is; is that I want it too.

"Yes, fuck! God, this is- I can't- I can't handle this!" Leo churred, feverishly stroking his own cock as I pulled him against me; his shell connecting to my chest, "Raph, Raphael!" he gasped, gritting his teeth, all while silencing himself with a harsh bite of his lip.

My hips rocked up into him quickly- but rough, bringing myself closer and closer. It was too much; he was too much, shit; Leo was too much for me.

"C-Cum for me," I breathed into his neck and his body jerked against mine, and his muscles tensed, causing him to lock around me, forcing my own release to come without a single warning and Leo gasped a loud cry of my name, showing me that he too had found his own finish.

I didn't move once I worked through the final bit of my orgasm. The only thing heard between us was the heavy breaths of the air we still were trying to achieve. I held him to my chest still; and loathed the smell from his skin once the snout of my nose was pushed firmly against the crook of his neck.

I closed my eyes briefly and heard Leo mumble something I couldn't make out. My muscles were aching- and even my eyes were heavy from the trip today and with a workout, I just performed it made everything a little harder to see.

"Hm?" I hummed, pressing a light kiss on his shoulder, and he tensed again, caressing my arms that wrapped around his torso.

"I-I said, I love you, Raph," he muttered, earning a wide-eyed look from me, but the words, the shock rising in my throat was warm, and welcoming-

The words from a man neither of us rarely ever heard.

"Leo," I whispered, but with a sudden amount of surprise in my voice once I heard the very few splashes coming from the tunnel east of us.

I hadn't even noticed the candles Leo brought with us had blown out; leaving us both in the darkness again to consume our shadows; until the click of a flashlight lit up the entire area.

My head shot up, blinking at how bright this fucking light was, but wait;

No.

Leo rose his head aswell and looked right at the light; and I felt my stomach drop to the bottomless pit of where it sat.

"Donnie?" Leo muttered, shoving me away in an instant.

I saw the look on his face; he looked; almost, dead.

Lifeless.

ᵀᵒ ᴮᵉ Cᵒⁿᵗⁱⁿᵘᵉᵈ


	25. ᵂʰᵉⁿ ᵀⁱᵐᵉ ᴳᵉᵗ'ˢ ᴬʷᵃʸ

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> " ᵂʰᵃᵗ ᴵˢ Yᵒᵘʳ ᴾᵒⁱˢᵒⁿ "   
ᴵˢ ᵇᵃˢᵉᵈ ᵘᵖᵒⁿ ᶜᵒᵐᵖˡᵉᵗᵉ ᶠⁱᶜᵗⁱᵒⁿ ᵃⁿᵈ ⁱᵈᵉᵃ'ˢ ᴴʸᵈʳᵃᵏⁱⁿᶻ, ᴴᵃˢ ᶜᵒˡˡᵉᶜᵗᵉᵈ ᵒᵛᵉʳ ᵗʰᵉ ᵖˡᵒᵗ ᵒᶠ ʰᵉʳ ᶠᵃᵛᵒʳⁱᵗᵉ ᶠᵃⁿᵈᵒᵐ ᵒᶠ ᵃˡˡ ᵗⁱᵐᵉ, ᵀᴹᴺᵀ
> 
> Book Two Out Now! 
> 
> This Story Contains #Turtlecest. 
> 
> ໓໐ຖ't likē, ໓໐ຖ't rēค໓.
> 
> After Raphael and Leonardo think that their brothers are dead from a warehouse explosion, they mourn the deaths of what remained, including the lie and betrayal of their father faking his own death to keep them safe. Raph and Leo try to move on, but more than twenty surprises hit them in the face like a ton of bricks when Donnie and Mike return to the lair after a fight for adventure. Feelings begin to bloom over the loss. And drama forms and rains over their heads like a storm.
> 
> Falling In Love With Your Own Sibling Was Never going to be easy-- but getting them to love you back was a challenge-- Only in reality-- they all loved each other just as equal. 
> 
> Read ᵂʰᵃᵗ ᴵˢ Yᵒᵘʳ ᴾᵒⁱˢᵒⁿ to find out what unfolds right before their eyes, and to be there every step of the way as these four brothers discover what true love and sacrifice truly means to have exactly what you want.

ᵂʰᵃᵗ ᴵˢ Yᵒᵘʳ ᴾᵒⁱˢᵒⁿ

Cʰᵃᵖᵗᵉʳ ˣˣᴵⱽ

ᵂʰᵉⁿ ᵀⁱᵐᵉ ᴳᵉᵗ'ˢ ᴬʷᵃʸ

[ Donatello ]

The ringing was loud in my ears; piercing almost. 

It made everything sound a lightyear away from me, and nothing could take this moment away.

My hands were shaking and the faint pounding on my door was fading into the back of my eardrums. I tightened my grip around the base of my bo staff, letting the ache in my fingers return; but with much more pain. 

They were bloody- scraped, and bruised all the way to the knuckles. 

I welcomed the pain as I did with my heart or whatever inch wasn't affected by any of this. I knew that this was the truth; the real meaning behind what love actually was meant to be, and do to you. It was created to destroy us but also meant to be the best moments in our lives. 

The pounding finally stopped; and the memories flashing in my mind of the smiles; the laughs, the intimate moments; and the betrayal was breaking me further into a state of mind I wasn't able to control. 

I saw Leo's face, and his body beneath me, writhing and screaming from the top of his lungs for me to get off; for me to stop, but how could I? For the first time in my life, I was blinded with fury- with an emotion I avoided at all costs. 

I wasn't angry- I didn't get worked up like the others did and even on occasion, Mikey did too. I knew I'd regret this; but it felt good, strangely good and intoxicating-- I knew before about adrenaline, but this; it felt much different. Weird even, but a good weird. 

"Donnie!" Raph shouted at me through my door, even though he could burst right through if he wanted, but he at least had a bit of respect for me in this messed up situation. 

I didn't respond; I just sat there. My head was spinning and the urge to hit something was lifting me up like a feather on a cloud. I needed to shed more blood; I needed the pressure and the speed of lightning that carried me when I bashed into Leo's skull.

The red that poured from his nose, and busted lip made things a little softer for me; less painful, but filled with hate.

"Donatello," 

Mikey.

"D, can I come in?" 

My head rose to look at the door, all while analyzing the space I could walk from my bed to the door frame. I debated, but he was someone I wanted to see; someone I knew I wouldn't lash out at. These damn emotions were too much for me. I could only see but two things in my head; and I wanted them gone. 

I slowly stood, still gripping my weapon with a tight grasp, as I made my way for the door, and opened it; where I saw Mikey standing there, fiddling with his fingers nervously like he always had done. I saw Raphael behind him, leaning only a few inches away on the railing that kept the second floor intact. 

The look on his face was priceless, and from the way, I saw it; his pants seemed to be still loose from his recent events. Once Mikey was in, I slammed the door. 

"You okay?" I heard my little brother mutter from behind me. 

I turned on my heel and walked passed him to seat myself on my mattress again, and he followed, but not sitting just yet. 

"Do I look okay?" I then responded, raising my head to look at his face, but feeling a little calmer once I looked into those blue eyes of his. Mikey's features were soft; cute, but adorable enough to be taken seriously and his presence alone cooled me off; because I knew I could never hurt him.

"No, but it doesn't hurt to ask, Don," he sighed, staring at my hands, which were still wrapped around my staff. I had a death grip on it for some reason; I felt inclined to hold it; as if I was going to need it or something when I knew I didn't. 

"Well," I started, "How else can I be?" 

"What happened?" he questioned, though clearly knowing what caused all of this. He somehow knew before anyone was told. 

"You know what happened, everyone does, at least now they do," I scoffed, finally removing a hand from my bo and rubbing the palm of my hand over my face. 

He huffed delicately and sat next to me, causing the bed to dip down further from our weight, "Everything is so messed up, D,"

"Yeah," I swallowed a sob, "I don't think messed up calculates the situation tonight, Mikey"

"I still wanna know," he pried, though the memory of just a half-hour before was burned into my mind. 

\- - - 

"Donnie?" Leo almost gasped, shoving Raph off of him to go and reach for his pants that were pooled at his feet. 

The room felt like it was spinning- though it was sat exactly still. Torturing me by the sight. 

I couldn't believe I was still able to hold the flashlight in my hand. My entire body was locked in place. I couldn't move, fuck, I couldn't even feel. 

"Donatello?" I heard Leo again, echoing into the back of my head. My face felt hot; it felt cold even, which made absolutely no sense. The beads of sweat forming on the back of my neck are what kicked my reality into gear when Leo put his hand on my arm, lowering the flashlight and creating an illusion of shadows between the two of us, and the tunnel walls that they--

"Don, we can explain!" My eyes flicked to Raph, who was also getting dressed and standing only a few inches from Leo, but he didn't pay any mind to him. Leo's eyes were fixed on me, and the ringing in my ears began. Everything was going blank; blurry even. 

I swiftly pulled away from Leo's grasp, and what felt like minutes before I started moving again, I finally gained the strength and turned away from them, my two oldest brothers, the one I loved the most, and headed back towards the lair. I didn't notice that they had caught up to me until I reached the living room. 

"Donnie, fucking talk to me! This was all just a big mistake!" Leo called, grabbing my arm but I jerked away, as something dark was forming behind my eyes. 

He stared at me for a moment, knowing what was to come; the look at my face, the color draining from my cheeks, and everything spinning in my head, he knew. 

"Don, would you just-" he tried to touch me again, but something inside of me spilled over the edge and everything I had been holding back for the last ten minutes overflowed. 

The flashlight I had nearly broken before fell from my hand, and with a quick grab, I had my bo in reach, and flipped the switch to stretch it out; but the stretch knocked Leo back; which caught him by surprise and he fell back on his shell. 

"Donatello!" Raph warned, almost standing in between us, but I glared at him with a warning of my own. 

"Get outta my way!" I shouted, twirling my staff and sticking it out to him, "Or you're next!" 

Raph's eyes widened at my threat and didn't move at first, but slowly backed away- realizing the chance I was clearly giving him. This wasn't about him; this wasn't his fight. It was between me and Leo, and I had obviously known this since the beginning of the truth and who started this. 

Leo was at his feet in seconds, but the alarmed look on his face was no more of a back down for me. He didn't have any weapons of his own. And those new ones was something I still hadn't even picked up yet. I had a joy for the one I made myself, and not even magic would replace this moment. 

"Donnie," he held his hands up in defense, "Don't do this!"

"Shut up!" I shook my head and threw myself at him, but Leo didn't react; he didn't throw me off, except try and talk me out of this. 

"Donatello!" Leo shouted at me, but I didn't listen, and Raph didn't try and stop me once I was on him, even with Leo telling him to get me off. I heard it all; seen enough and felt enough pain and anger that built up in the last twenty-four mind-numbing hours for me to destroy an entire city.

Leo tried kicking me off, but the weight I was putting on his throat was no match for me. I was aiming to kill him; I wanted to see what he saw when he put his hands on me. I craved for it and feened for it like some goddamn addict. 

I threw a couple of punches, a few kicks, and that's when I saw the blood. It was giving me the release, and the washed away amount of relief that rushed my veins like a drug. It was exactly what I needed from him. I fucking hated him but loved him more than life itself. 

Donnie, You do so much, take a load off,

Don, come on, relax a little, worry about that tomorrow. 

Donnie, You do too much, come hang out with us!

I felt a hand grasp on to my shoulder, and with an instinct, I bent my staff and slammed the edge sideways, and connected it to Raph's jaw, knocking him off me. 

No, this wasn't over. 

The tears were coming- I felt them. They were rising like the bile in my windpipe. No, no more crying- no more sobbing dammit!

I didn't even realize I was practically choking the life out of Leo with the base of my bo. I was pushing hard on his throat; and forcing it to dig into his skin. 

"D-Don!" he struggled, blood pouring from his fresh wounds covering his face. 

I gritted my teeth, and let the look of his sweet but manipulative smile cover my memory in a page flip. 

I was pushing so hard, that I probably could have broken the bamboo keeping my weapon together, but it wasn't enough until I felt a pair of arms yank me away from my oldest brother.

I struggled in their grip and tried to pull myself away but I saw Mikey- I felt Raph at the other side of me, telling me I could have killed him. 

Like he almost did me. 

"Donnie!" I heard Mikey shout; grabbing ahold of one of my aching hands, "Don, come on, dude you need to chill out!" 

Leo howled with large rasps of breath, trying to regain his breathing and eventually he did. I watched him sit up, and grab at his throat, coughing and looking right at me, destroyed by what he knew he's done. 

Raph finally let go of me, and Mikey didn't protest as I ran away from them, and going straight for my room. 

I locked the door behind me; and slid down the frame, wanting to sob, cry or scream it all out but nothing came. 

Nothing would come, and nothing in me would live, ever again. 

\- - -

"You know, I would have done the same thing- but I don't think I could have done that much damage," Mikey joked, pulling me from my reminder, and I looked down at him.

"I nearly killed him, I guess," I muttered, then staring at my hands, stretching out the beaten digits bruising along my knuckles.

Mikey replaced my hand with his, and carefully caressed my fingers, trying to soothe me I guess. Though the gesture for some reason only infuriated me further.

I stood up, and quick. I moved away from Mikey and stared at him with dark eyes.

"Don?" 

I shook my head, throwing my weapon on the floor, "I did that; I did that! But here me and you are, here we fucking are, Michelangelo!" 

He blinked, obviously confused, though I knew he wasn't that dumb, "What're you talking about?"

I threw my hands into the air, "Me and You, Mikey! We aren't the innocent ones here!" 

"Oh," he muttered, going back to pulling on his fingers, "Yeah, I know, but-"

"But nothing Mikey!" I nearly shouted, making him jump, knowing he hates when people yell. 

"I'm just-" he sighed, standing up to look at me more clearly, "I'm just trying to show you how he feels,"

I looked at him, lowering my hands from my hips, "What?"

"Leo," he answered, motioning towards the door, "I'm trying to show you that- whatever he feels for you and Raph, is what I feel for you and Raph, and it's hard, it's difficult, but you won't try and understand," 

"Try and understand?" I nearly laughed, clenching my aching fingers, "Michelangelo, that isn't how a relationship works! We aren't in some sort of foursome!" 

"But you liked it when I-"

I interrupted him, and nodded my head, "Yeah! Alright, I did, it felt right! And I feel for you but-"

Mikey reached to caress my face, instantly calming the blood boiling in my head down to another level. He pulled me down to connect our lips together. The passion behind it was the uttermost disgusting thing I could feel right now, but it felt right- like it always did. 

My heart slowed, and the revision of me and Leo's first kiss surfaced in my mind; and it pained me, and it pained at the way Mikey held me the way he did. I could only think of but a few things. But this, it helped. 

"Donnie," Mikey whispered, breaking himself away from my face, and circling the pad of his thumb on my cheek, just below the frame of my glasses. 

I sighed, nuzzling his snout with my nose, and brung him in closer, knowing how fucked everything was from here on out, "Yeah?" 

"I want to do something- but you have to promise you won't try and kill Leo again," he said, looking up into my eyes, bringing me down to earth. 

"Fine," I agreed, feeling him squeeze my hand, and he pulled me towards the door. 

Once we reached downstairs, Leo was seated on the couch, with a bag of frozen peas on his head. He saw me once I reached the mist of the room, and frowned while looking away and back towards the Television, where some random cartoon was playing-

"Do I need to restrain ya again?" Raph commented while entering the room with a cup in his hand. 

I stared at him for a minute, but then shook my head, "No, I'm only here for, Mikey,"

"Course," Raph rolled his eyes, sitting on the sofa next to Leo. 

Mikey strolled over to the coffee table, and switched off the TV, earning an irritated growl from the alpha he knew loved him most. 

"I want you guys to listen," he spoke up, and we all looked at him confused. 

I crossed my arms and waited for whatever he had planned, and he sighed, obviously being a little nervous. 

"Things have been kind of messed up since the trip, huh?" he said, looking between us all. 

"You're tellin' me," Raph said, sipping his drink, but loud enough to burn holes in my eardrums. 

Ugh. 

"You guys," Mikey began, gesturing to the two sitting on the couch, "You've obviously done things you regret- maybe even not regret. But I have too. But the difference is, I don't regret them," he said, looking in my direction, as the heat in my cheeks rose. 

"What exactly does that mean, Mikey?" Leo mumbled, but loud enough for us to hear him. I wanted to scoff at the sound of his voice. But I didn't wanna ruin the moment; or even end whatever was about to come out. 

Mikey looked in my direction, earning a glare from Raph, where I glared back, "It means, that everyone in this room isn't innocent!"

"What?" Raph laughed, "Have you been foolin' around with fuckin' Donnie?" 

I stared at him, waiting for a yelling match to start; but it didn't come. 

"Yeah, I have Raph, but only once," Mikey admitted, as I noticed Leo perk in my direction, but I didn't look at him; I simply couldn't or else I'd end up throwing another punch.

Raph stood up, "Did you fuck him?" 

Mikey's face turned into a hardline, and shook his head, "No, but at least we know who here, did," and at that, Raph's expression formed vile, and he stepped back, but then looked at me. 

"So, that's why you two have been so close? Why you won't even look at me!" he then shouted at Mikey, and he squeaked. 

"Back off, Raph," Leo warned, clearly defensive, even after what he just heard. 

Raph stepped down, and sat back on the couch, leaving Mikey with a frown on his face.

"I wanna stop this, bickering- we're all we have, so, let's just love each other." Mikey sighed, leaving me speechless. 

"Love each other?" Leo questioned, removing the bag from his head, "How can we even work with that? We can't even go on vacation without fucking something up!" 

"Yeah, well, we can barely make it a week without fighting over something and that'll never stop, but we obviously love each other in a different type of way- and we all here, know it ain't right with how we're taking it; I can't handle it," Mikey admitted, lowering his shoulders. 

"I wanna work with it," I then spoke up, "Or at least try," 

"Tryin' never works," Raph denied, rolling his eyes. 

"Well, if we can't work on this, then what's the point of us even living together?" Mikey questioned, holding his hands out in defense. 

"He's right though," I looked down, "I mean, we don't have Sensei, and April is moving-- and we only have each other," 

Leo glanced at me with a frown, but this time, I actually met his eyes, leaving him with a surprised expression on his face. 

"We have to try," Leo said, standing up, and looking at me, "I'm sorry Donnie,"

He's sorry-

He came closer, and without a word spoken between us, he kissed me in front of everyone, though at first; my reaction was blank and almost hopeless. I didn't want this, but then again, I so badly did. I missed Leo, I missed him. And even with us trying for these new changes, I still considered him mine, and only mine. 

ᵀᵒ ᴮᵉ Cᵒⁿᵗⁱⁿᵘᵉᵈ


	26. ᴵⁿᶠⁱⁿⁱᵗʸ

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> " ᵂʰᵃᵗ ᴵˢ Yᵒᵘʳ ᴾᵒⁱˢᵒⁿ "   
ᴵˢ ᵇᵃˢᵉᵈ ᵘᵖᵒⁿ ᶜᵒᵐᵖˡᵉᵗᵉ ᶠⁱᶜᵗⁱᵒⁿ ᵃⁿᵈ ⁱᵈᵉᵃ'ˢ ᴴʸᵈʳᵃᵏⁱⁿᶻ, ᴴᵃˢ ᶜᵒˡˡᵉᶜᵗᵉᵈ ᵒᵛᵉʳ ᵗʰᵉ ᵖˡᵒᵗ ᵒᶠ ʰᵉʳ ᶠᵃᵛᵒʳⁱᵗᵉ ᶠᵃⁿᵈᵒᵐ ᵒᶠ ᵃˡˡ ᵗⁱᵐᵉ, ᵀᴹᴺᵀ
> 
> Book Two Out Now! 
> 
> This Story Contains #Turtlecest. 
> 
> ໓໐ຖ't likē, ໓໐ຖ't rēค໓.
> 
> After Raphael and Leonardo think that their brothers are dead from a warehouse explosion, they mourn the deaths of what remained, including the lie and betrayal of their father faking his own death to keep them safe. Raph and Leo try to move on, but more than twenty surprises hit them in the face like a ton of bricks when Donnie and Mike return to the lair after a fight for adventure. Feelings begin to bloom over the loss. And drama forms and rains over their heads like a storm.
> 
> Falling In Love With Your Own Sibling Was Never going to be easy-- but getting them to love you back was a challenge-- Only in reality-- they all loved each other just as equal. 
> 
> Read ᵂʰᵃᵗ ᴵˢ Yᵒᵘʳ ᴾᵒⁱˢᵒⁿ to find out what unfolds right before their eyes, and to be there every step of the way as these four brothers discover what true love and sacrifice truly means to have exactly what you want.

ᵂʰᵃᵗ ᴵˢ Yᵒᵘʳ ᴾᵒⁱˢᵒⁿ

Cʰᵃᵖᵗᵉʳ ˣˣⱽ

ᴵⁿᶠⁱⁿⁱᵗʸ

[ Michelangelo ]

It had been at least two weeks since we returned to New York. 

It wasn't completely the same, but at the same time, it felt like it. The vibes had changed, and so did the aura of everything and beyond that. 

The relationship between everyone had changed drastically- but I guessed a good type of drastic. It didn't take an idiot; or a genius to figure everything out that was going on with us. 

Yesterday was when we finally told April that we were home. She wasn't too pleased to realize how long it had been since; but- she was still just as happy to know we were fine, and not out getting ourselves killed. 

She told us that she'd be coming by with Casey on one of these days in this following week because they were still preparing for the move. Which still didn't sit right with me. 

It bothered me I guess because April was basically family and whatever was left of ours, was being destroyed day by day- but I tried to not let it upset me as much. It still made me sad but since the talk I had with my brothers, they have tried to change up their paces with things. Raphael hasn't been as tense as he was, and maybe we've learned to love each other a lot more than we did. 

But here recently- every single time I close my eyes, I see things; shadows, and dark fields of figures. Maybe men wielding sharp weapons, with large glowing eyes and long fingernails. 

I wanted to be grown-up about this; though I was the youngest nugget of them all. But these visions, nightmares, and shadows reminded me of the ghost me and my brothers saw when we were just tots not knowing anything about combat; or fighting a large bucket-headed demon, called Shredder. Back then we didn't even know what in hell a Shredder was. We only cared about toys and misbehaving and discovering pizza for the very first time. 

I remember my first bite; I remember my first toy- it was a robot. One that could talk; but we ended up throwing it away because all we ever did was fight over it. 

Those were the good memories, the ones I wished would replace the nightmares I keep having of the bad men. But this time, Sensei wasn't here to stop them. 

This time, it ended up different. 

No. 

Long tunnels, blurry vision, one figure, and a sharp wielding weapon coming straight for me. This figure held the face of a demon, with sharp teeth and bright red glowing eyes, and the same fingernails I mentioned before. Another dream, another terror I was reliving yet again. 

I turned and tried running- and there wasn't any progress being made. I was running in place. I felt my heart hammering in my chest and below every layer of my protective plastron, but it felt as if it was going to burst right through and explode on impact. 

The demon, the figure, whatever he was, wanted it; he wanted my insides, and the more I ran; the slower I moved. 

No, no, no!

"Michelangelo," the figure boomed. 

It knew my name; he-- it sounded like a him. He knew my name. No, I had to keep fighting through even though I knew that soon my legs would turn to jelly- and my bones would crumble to dust. 

Things were getting darker the faster I ran; I kept going- I kept jumping- I couldn't do it. 

No!

I was falling- failing- getting weak. 

Things were pitch black now, and suddenly my eyes shot open, as someone was shaking me, and gripping my shoulders tight. 

"No, no, no! Please!" I sobbed, blinking rapidly and realizing I was back in my own room, with my brothers surrounding me. 

"Mikey, it's alright, It's just me," Leo reassured, grasping my shoulders. 

I let a whimper slip from my lips as I quickly leaned forward and wrapped both of my arms around his neck, earning a hug back just as tight from him. 

"Mike, what was it this time?" Donnie questioned, bringing me back to the reality of everything and the warm presence of those who I knew I could count on. 

I kept holding onto Leo, not removing myself from him, and he didn't bother pushing away until Raph sat at the end of my bed, where he grabbed one of my legs, letting me know he was there, but keeping his distance. Though; I didn't want either of them to do that. 

"The same," I muttered, sitting further up on the mattress where my nest of pillows sat, "Except it was some kind of hallway- and, I felt like he wanted what was in here," I explained, pointing a finger at my chest. 

Donnie was watching me, but a bit puzzled, though curious. I knew that he was the one most interested in my dreams than the others. I just never bothered to talk about them like I should. 

"I think maybe one of us should start sleeping with you," Leo suggested, looking towards Raph, obviously waiting for some kind of approval, "It might help, because those things obviously aren't," he said motioning towards my nightlights, that were plugged in around the room, making it less dark than it actually was when the lights were off. 

"Well, I would, but it's obviously up to you Mikey," Raph said, picking at his fingers, where I noticed he wasn't wearing his mask, and neither was Leo. 

"Did I wake you guys?" I quietly asked, feeling like shit now. This had been going on for a while, and I always woke them when I was having one of my spells, as Don called it. 

"It's fine," Raph said, looking at me, then back at his hands. 

"I'm sorry- I just- I wish these would stop," I sighed. 

"Mikey-" Leo said, making me look at him, "It doesn't matter if you woke us, saving you from a bad dream is what we're here for like we always have been," he smiled, lighting the mood, and almost making me nearly forget about my dreams. 

"Yeah, you've always been the one to have nightmares, and we've always been kind of like your hero's," Donnie joked, earning a glare from Raph. 

"Don't flatter yourself, Don, you had them too," He grinned, and I giggled. 

"Alright you two, it's still pretty late, and we all need to sleep," Leo interrupted, and slowly stood from my bed, leaving me almost empty-

"Right; because April is coming tomorrow," Donnie half-smiled. 

I wasn't really listening- except I was in my own head, trying to come up with a plan on how I can get them to stay with me in these hours of the night; and maybe permanently-

"Why don't we all just sleep together?" I practically blurted out, and everyone looked back at me. 

"All of us?" Raph almost laughed, obviously thinking what I said was stupid. 

"How will we do that?" Donnie asked, but seeming intrigued. 

I slowly climbed out of bed and looked between my brothers, then at the bundles of pillows and blankets on my mattress. 

"We could make a bed?" I smiled, trying to sound proud of my idea.

"Make one?" Raph laughed, "For all four of us, Mikey- that'll be a job,"

I shook my head, taking one of my pillows off my bed and showing it to him, trying to make, or prove a point, "We can use these,"

"Pillows?" Donnie questioned, inching his head. 

"No," I huffed, "Like, what if we all took our beds, and made one big one, so we can sleep, no problem,"

Leo's face stretched with a grin, "It's not a bad idea, but the only room in the lair big enough for two queen sizes would either be the living room or the dojo, and it's off-limits!" 

I watched Raph roll his eyes, "Well, then the lounge it is," 

"You guys are the only one with big enough beds," I say pointing at both, Leo and Raph, "So, go and get them, and bring em' downstairs," I smiled, starting to collect a few things I wanted to bring with me. 

They all left without a fuss, and thankfully I wasn't forced to help with the heavy lifting-

Once I folded every single blanket I had around my room, I made two trips bringing them, and all of my pillows down. I guess, a few things turned into maybe a couple- no, maybe a hundred. 

Ugh. 

I was a little giddy watching my brothers carry their beds down, and move a couple of furniture around that I didn't bother to participate in. 

Once the couch was finally out of the way- the mattresses were placed down, but together, making one giant bed. 

"Do we really need that many fuckin' blankets?" Raph questioned, catching me off guard as I went to place the third one over the last. 

I gave him a stern look, and I almost saw him burst into laughter, "Yes," I answered flatly and continued the routine, but eventually Donnie joined in and knew exactly what I was aiming to do. 

After everything was in place, we all stood back to look at our work. 

It reminded me of something- it was just one big mess of cushion. It looked like the best thing I had ever seen! Like a pillow fort!

"It's like a nest," Don said, rubbing his chin in thought. 

"Hah, exactly!" I praised, jumping into the pile. 

"I never thought something like this would happen," Leo announced, crawling up next to me, and I looked up at him, "We've practically turned our living room into a giant sleeping hole,"

I shrugged, "Eh, it was gonna turn into much more at one point, anyway," 

"Was that an innuendo, I just heard, Mikey?" Donnie teased, and I shrugged again, leaving him with a smile. 

"Mikey is a horn dog- we all knew this even before we started fuckin' one another," Raph said, crawling to my opposite side, leaving me the meat in the middle of this terrapin sandwich. 

"Why do you gotta put it like that?" Donnie cringed, taking off his glasses and putting them somewhere safe, but reachable. 

"Because, it's true," Raph laughed.

"Hmph, You guys are gonna squish me," I complained, earning a look from either side of me. 

"I didn't think you'd complain," Raph grinned, and I rolled my eyes. 

"He's kind of got a point; He is the smallest," Don countered, and I whined. 

"Am Not!" 

"Are too," Leo smiled, as he rose from his spot, "Donnie can lie next to you, because uh, we really might just crush you," 

"I'm not that small!" I defended, kicking at him. 

"Yes, ya are, little one," Raph whispered unexpectedly while wrapping his arms around my torso, and pulling me into his broad chest. 

I sighed softly at his touch, and carefully placed my hands over his. 

"It's been a long time," I muttered, leaning back on him, as Donnie made himself comfortable next to me. 

"Well, I never knew cuddling could be this fun," Raphael said again into my ear, making my tail wiggle; though I was far too tired to get worked up at a time like this. 

"Makes you feel less alone, and that's the point," Donnie preached, putting an arm behind his head. 

"That and to protect whoever you're holding Don," Leo spoke up, with a yawn, and snaked an arm around Donnie's waist; pulling himself closer to him. 

Raph tightened his grip around my body- and I felt his hot breaths of air on the back of my neck; along with soft snores erupting from his throat. 

"Hopefully this will help you," Donnie smiled, before leaning down to plant a kiss on the tip of my forehead, and with that; he snuggled a blanket over him, and Leo, and myself and went to sleep with the close of his eyes.

I found sleep easily myself, and within the hours of the night; I was never greeted with those same nightmares.

I personally knew that sleeping with my mates would help me, and get rid of the massive burden that's been affecting my life since we returned from Japan. 

Sometime around four, just two hours before daylight- I woke up, having to pee. 

My bladder always chose the most perfect times to start working- and now had to be one of them, when I had four sets of arms wrapped around me. 

The sounds of snoring- and heavy breathing was going around the room, and I almost had forgotten that we were sleeping on the first floor now. I pried myself away from Raph and Don's grip, to find Leo spooning him in the tail, and I had to quickly walk away from the nest to avoid laughing at how unexpectedly inappropriate Leo actually could be; when he actually wanted to be.

I decided on going to my own bathroom; and after I was finished, I figured I'd grab a snack, but before I left my room. Something was off. 

Way off and not in a good way type of off. 

I looked around; though my room wasn't all that big- and of course the only thing out of the ordinary I saw was all of my pillows and stuff missing and I knew where those were. 

But if I even had hair, it'd be standing up on the back of my neck. The air felt more; thick, and smothering- 

A chill went down my spine when I heard the sound of one's voice I knew oh so well from the last couple of days. 

"So, this is your name, Michelangelo?"

I froze into place; like my damn feet were stuck to the floor. 

It couldn't be; was I dreaming again? No, this isn't happening-- just another nightmare. 

"You a-already knew my name," I spat, unknowing of this man's position. 

"Did I? I rarely remember the names," he spoke, but softly-- too calm. 

The fuck was going on?

"The names?" I questioned, still unmoving from my spot, "What- you tortured others too?"

I heard him cough a laugh, and things only got more uncomfortable once I realized that this was no dream. But the smothering feeling in the air was really beginning to affect me. I couldn't physically or emotionally breathe. 

"Why, Michelangelo, my dear, you couldn't have forgotten our times together," he said, practically splitting the smile on his face; that I knew he had just from the sound of his proudness. 

I rose my head; feeling the muscles and bones pop as the chance to move came clear to me as I slowly turned, seeing the face of the man who I knew; heard, and seen in my dreams every single night. 

"Toshiro," I half muttered, as only some of the word came tumbling out. 

"Very good," 

"What're you doing here? How the hell did you find me?" I questioned in a panic, but quiet enough. 

"I've got ways, especially since I've got that delicious DNA of yours," he answered, holding up what looked like a smartphone, with a GPS tracker on it; locating all the way from Hong Kong.

My heart began to rattle in my chest, and I felt sick; "Y-You never left, did you?"

He shook his head, taking a few large steps closer, as I frantically but silently looked around the room for my weapons; but they weren't in here. 

Where the fuck did I put them?

"Well, after I found out about Kanaki's death, I literally had to of known it was you and your misfit of animals, you call brothers," he grinned, half-heartedly. 

I felt the bile of fire rising in my stomach; maybe anger, or fear. A mixture of both was a dangerous, greedy game, was what Leo told me at one time. 

"They are my brothers, blood brothers," I corrected, clenching my fists; as the palms of my hands were heated; almost like someone set a match on my skin. 

"More like, what they call a boyfriend in America, right?" he laughed, though I hoped in the back of my mind that he wouldn't; or I wouldn't wake my siblings. This man, he was mine; and this fight was mine.

Fight?

No, no fighting! What am I thinking!

Something about his smile; something behind his laugh made me wanna vomit; it made me infuriated. 

"What I do with them isn't your business, and if I were you, I'd leave before you get hurt," I warned on clenched teeth, surprising myself. 

What!

My head was nearly spinning with the amount of anger coursing through me. Why was I so angry? So heated? Fuck, I wanted to run away not fight!

He cackled another laugh, as I lowered my eyes at him, "What're you gonna do, Michelangelo? Call for your buddies, Please, we both know you can't do anything-- without crying about it," he smiled, completely setting me off. 

The warnings in my head were blaring in the back of my skull, but nothing now could turn them off. 

"You need to leave," I warned for the final time, ignoring every doubt in the back of my mind. 

"Oh well, I guess I do, but I won't be leaving here until I've finished what I've started, and that's by killing you, and the rest of your sickening rats!" 

Sickening Rats.

I blinked, not realizing what was actually happening-- the images from the events from the dreams, the trip, and what happened to me, flash through my mind at lightning speed; and something inside of me finally snapped. 

My hands began to glow a bright neon orange color, though I paid no mind to the pattern, nor was I shocked at what was happening-- 

The pattern continued up my arms, and tracing over the muscles in my biceps and laced through and over my chest connecting to my throat; doing the same down my legs, and all the way down to my toes. 

My body felt jittery-- felt pumped, but the anger inside replaced every trace of excitement I had for this very moment; and it was my time to shine, my time to shed blood upon my spiritual grave.

"What the hell?" I heard the demon curse and watched as he took a step back, wiping the fucking smirk from his blasted face. 

My hands gripped tightly into the palms of my fingers, and I hadn't even realized the weapons Leo gifted to us were now in my hands, and at the reach of me. They were glowing too, but my heart was like a beacon in these final moments. 

Things were moving slowly- and the anger inside of me was boiling over the lid, and Toshiro looked one hell of a lot different once he had the same fear in his eyes as I did when he was doing vile things to my body--

"The fuck are you!" he questioned with a bit of a shout in his tone and pulled out a handgun from the back of his jeans, and twisting his arm to point it directly at me, and fire off at least four bullets, before he realized that every single shot was deflected back towards him, and he ran for the door, but I caught him by the throat with the chain linking to one of my chucks and threw him through the door connecting from my room, to the hall on the second floor; but he didn't stop, he fell from the second to the first and landed with a loud crash below.

My brothers were a cloud in the back of my mind, and I never once thought of waking them anymore; I wanted something-- I aimed for it, and with a large growl, I jumped over the railing and landed on top of Toshiro with another thud, and twirled the chuck in my left hand, forcing the double-edged blade out. 

I could hear shouting-- screaming even, but I couldn't hear them clearly- because the only thing I wanted to hear was the blood hurtling screams coming from the man beneath me as I stabbed my way to his heart; to every organ, I could get my hands on. 

I watched as Toshiro's eyes rolled into the back of his skull, and the satisfaction from his last croak was the most exhilarating thing I had ever felt!

"Mikey!" was shouted from behind me, forcing me back into the reality of the lair, and the blood now on my hands, dripped from the tips of my fingers, and from my weapon, 

"Michelangelo!" I heard Leo yell, as I slowly stood up from the corpse on the floor. 

The glowing in my hands was disappearing- and soon my entire body was left with the realization of what I just did. 

"Oh," I practically whimpered, and stumbled backward, dropping my weapons on the ground. 

He's dead.

Did I do that?

No, no, no!

Though deep down inside, something was telling me that my actions were the right way to turn, and it was exactly what I wanted. It was what needed to be done. 

ᵀᵒ ᴮᵉ Cᵒⁿᵗⁱⁿᵘᵉᵈ


	27. ᴿᵉᵈ ᴿᵘᵐ

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> " ᵂʰᵃᵗ ᴵˢ Yᵒᵘʳ ᴾᵒⁱˢᵒⁿ "   
ᴵˢ ᵇᵃˢᵉᵈ ᵘᵖᵒⁿ ᶜᵒᵐᵖˡᵉᵗᵉ ᶠⁱᶜᵗⁱᵒⁿ ᵃⁿᵈ ⁱᵈᵉᵃ'ˢ ᴴʸᵈʳᵃᵏⁱⁿᶻ, ᴴᵃˢ ᶜᵒˡˡᵉᶜᵗᵉᵈ ᵒᵛᵉʳ ᵗʰᵉ ᵖˡᵒᵗ ᵒᶠ ʰᵉʳ ᶠᵃᵛᵒʳⁱᵗᵉ ᶠᵃⁿᵈᵒᵐ ᵒᶠ ᵃˡˡ ᵗⁱᵐᵉ, ᵀᴹᴺᵀ
> 
> Book Two Out Now! 
> 
> This Story Contains #Turtlecest. 
> 
> ໓໐ຖ't likē, ໓໐ຖ't rēค໓.
> 
> After Raphael and Leonardo think that their brothers are dead from a warehouse explosion, they mourn the deaths of what remained, including the lie and betrayal of their father faking his own death to keep them safe. Raph and Leo try to move on, but more than twenty surprises hit them in the face like a ton of bricks when Donnie and Mike return to the lair after a fight for adventure. Feelings begin to bloom over the loss. And drama forms and rains over their heads like a storm.
> 
> Falling In Love With Your Own Sibling Was Never going to be easy-- but getting them to love you back was a challenge-- Only in reality-- they all loved each other just as equal. 
> 
> Read ᵂʰᵃᵗ ᴵˢ Yᵒᵘʳ ᴾᵒⁱˢᵒⁿ to find out what unfolds right before their eyes, and to be there every step of the way as these four brothers discover what true love and sacrifice truly means to have exactly what you want.

ᵂʰᵃᵗ ᴵˢ Yᵒᵘʳ ᴾᵒⁱˢᵒⁿ

Cʰᵃᵖᵗᵉʳ ˣˣⱽᴵ

ᴿᵉᵈ ᴿᵘᵐ

[ Leonardo ]

"Michelangelo!" I said for what seemed like the millionth time, but this one was different- I was actually shouting to get my youngest brother's attention. 

He finally turned his head, and looked at me, with tears filling his eyes. 

Oh, no.

"Mikey-- what the hell was that?" Raph snapped while standing up from the spot he was thrown to, as my eyes were fixed on the tears falling from his eyes. 

"Raph, chill!" I warned, and he huffed loudly rising to his feet to realize what was going on with our little brother. 

I glanced at the corpse on the ground; that was bloody- and mutilated. 

"Who is that?" asked Donnie, who was collecting his glasses, and standing up from the floor. 

"I think that's our Toshiro," I quietly answered, moving closer to Mikey who let out a small whimper, and stumbled back from the body and fell onto his behind with a light thud. 

"Mike, what happened?" Donnie questioned, as he went to his side, caressing his shoulders. 

"Yeah, and why the fuck did you have all that glowing shit on ya?" Raph butted in, still keeping his distance from Mikey which was pissing me off. 

I shot him a glare, and he stared back, only curious, but when Mikey released a sob, the vibe in the air changed. Raphael moved so quick that he was pretty much a blur to be by his side. 

"I-I don't know!" he cried, leaning into Donnie's arms, "He came here, h-he was here!" 

"You sure did a number on him," Raph gushed, checking the body but I shoved him making him almost tip over. 

"How did he even get in here without us knowing?" Donnie wondered, keeping an arm wrapped around Mikey to soothe him. 

"Let's just get this cleaned up, alright?" I sighed, squeezing Mikey's hand, and standing to my feet, "Then we can ask questions,"

"Yeah, but where are we gonna throw this dudes body?" Raph questioned, not knowing where to begin. 

"In the ocean, I dunno," I said, taking the body by its feet while Raph took the other end, cringing to not get blood on his hands.

"You guys are seriously gonna dump his body into the New York City river?" Donnie questioned, stopping me from moving--

"Where else are we meant to put his body, Donatello?" I argued, "We can't keep it here!"

"Would you guys just get it out of here!" Mikey shouted suddenly and we all looked at him a little shocked by his outburst; but obeyed anyway and took the body to the West End Side of the tunnels, which was the ones we rarely ever used.

"What do you think that was about?" Raph questioned absently as we threw the body over the edge, making sure the concrete blocks tied to his feet were secured. Once he fell over, the splash from below welcomed us. 

"I don't know, the only thing I can think about is how he did that to all three of us without any restraint. Plus, he just murdered someone," I shook my head while massaging my temples. 

"More like got his revenge, Leo, this was the guy- the guy who ra--"

"Yeah!" I interrupted, not wanting to be reminded of that night, "I know, but-- sometimes I even think about what I did back in Japan; even with how right it was at the time; it still was wrong to kill him, and it was still wrong for you to do the same to those men,"

I heard Raph growl next to me, and he shoved me in the shoulder, obviously pissed from my little speech, "You ain't got no right to say what is wrong and what isn't, Leo!" 

"Raphael, come on! You can't possibly expect me to believe that you don't still think about it!" I threw back but giving him a plead in my eyes that didn't faze him as I wanted. 

"I don't, Leo, I really don't; and you wanna know why? Because to me, it was the right fuckin' thing to do! I stopped millions of women and children from gettin' raped and tortured, even murdered! Just like Mikey! And so did you! Murder ain't never gonna be right; but killin' some disgustin' fool from Japan to save lives, was completely alright to me, so live in that tiny world where Splinter taught you to obey laws, and always thinkin' of ya self!" Raph went on, almost getting in my face, forcing a frown on it. 

I then sighed, not reacting back; not giving him what I knew he'd probably want out of me, which was to retaliate. I wasn't gonna give him the satisfaction; especially at a time like this.

"Raph, we aren't meant to be fighting- so, I'm not gonna argue, and tell you that you're right, k?" I said in defeat while pushing past him to head back to the lair, maybe to try and forget about what we just pushed into the water. 

"I'm right?" Raph laughed, catching up with me, "You're jokin' with me, right?" 

I shook my head, obviously calm about the situation; because I knew he was right. I knew he was in so many ways; except this time, I actually let him know he was, and I was wrong-

"No, you're right. They were doing unspeakable things to people over there in that country- and we stopped it; hopefully," I shrugged, crossing my arms over my chest. 

"What, so you have doubts that we didn't?" 

I stopped walking and looked up at Raph, who looked just as doubtful as I probably did, "Just a little; don't worry about it,"

"Fine, I won't push, but I'll be bringin' this up to the others later, fearless," he teased, giving me a peck on the cheek, surprising me, but then to leave me standing there in the dim lighting- almost reminding me of our intimate time together. 

It had been almost a week since Donnie caught me and Raph together, and the bruises my mate gave me have already healed. 

I knew it was bad news, and I knew everything would end up turning horribly wrong-- but I feel something a little different for the damn hot-head I always despised in many unknown ways. 

I kept bringing myself back to Sensei's encouraging words about loyalty- and faith and to never give up on the big lug no matter how many times he snapped at me, or at least- no matter how many times we snapped each other. 

But thinking about it now, that encounter that we spent on one another all those nights ago, was actually me finally snapping one final time. 

Mikey would call it the big boom, I guess. 

After I did a little more thinking- I went back to the lair, finding Donnie scrubbing the blood out of the rug we've had for years. 

"Might as well throw that thing out," Raph said, entering from the kitchen to return with an apple in hand, and a mouth full of it. 

"Yeah, might as well. But we've had it forever," Don sighed, sitting up on his knees, and giving up on cleaning the spots of blood soaking into the fabric of that silly rug I didn't care too much for. 

"Just throw it, won't make a difference," I said, looking around for Mikey but not being able to spot him, though Raph caught on, and motioned towards the kitchen. 

"He's eating," he said taking another large bite from his fruit to finish it off. 

"Is he okay?" 

"Yeah, he's fine for now," Donnie answered, standing to his feet and crossing the room to grab my hand and bring it up to his cheek unexpectedly- "I'm really worried about him," he began.

I relaxed at the tune in his voice, and carefully rubbed the pad of my thumb over the apple of his cheek just below his glasses that I absolutely missed seeing him in, "I think we all are, Don," 

I saw Raph over Donnie's shoulder and watched as he grimaced at me and Donnie's affection for each other; and how he obviously envied us both. 

I turned my attention to Donnie and leaned in for a kiss and pressed my mouth to his, wanting to forward Raph's jealousy- and for me, something dark was forming- and I was getting off at the thought of my brother feeling envy for me kissing someone else. 

The kiss for Donnie was obviously a little shocking from my sudden smooch, but he immediately kissed back and pressed a hand against my chest to make the kiss deeper than what I started. I couldn't help but miss his lips, and his attention period. Things were still a little rocky between the two of us, but I was trying to make it better the best I could by proving how different I can be. 

"You two need to get a room," Raph grumbled, before flicking on the television. 

I pulled myself only inches from Donnie's lips to receive a quiet whine from the loss of our mouths, but with a bit of a smile, I connected them again to peck his lips and slip my tongue in between his teeth. 

For a moment; I guess we kind of forgotten someone else was in the room, but by the time someone cleared their throat; we were taken away to a place where nothing else mattered but the taste of each other's tongues. 

"I see you guys are getting along pretty well," A feminine voice said, forcing me and Donnie apart from one another as the look on his face went from pale to bright pink in a matter of seconds. 

"April!" I heard Mikey squeak from the kitchen archway and he ran and hugged her tight enough to lift her off the ground. 

She was already giggling like a little girl, and once he put her down, she turned her attention back to me and Donnie who still hadn't even said Hello. 

"How's everything with you and the pretty boy?" Raph asked, with a smile on his face as he gave April a quick squeeze then backed away with a defensive grid. 

She smiled up at him and nudged him slightly barely making him move a muscle, "We're great. He's on his way down, so don't get too excited," she said, looking back at me, then at Donnie and switching between the two of us, "So, you guys gonna explain what that was about?" 

I swallowed the huge lump that had formed in my throat and looked anywhere but her direction, avoiding any eye contact; though I was never the type to lie, or ignore. I wasn't expecting this to be so quick to judge. I needed more time, and to be honest; I didn't want April, or even anyone to find out like this. 

But us giving April an answer for anything was saved for another time by Casey entering the lair.

"Hey guys!" he cheered, as I turned my head away from him, and briefly looked at Donnie who immediately returned the glance, and gave Casey a little wave, trying to brush off whatever just had happened. 

As the hours went on; April didn't ask or bring up what she saw again. The whole evening she kept giving us knowing looks, and mischevious smiles during dinner, which Donnie made, and it was wonderful of course; but the tension between the three of us was cutting me into like the sharpest of blades. 

I joined Mikey at the sink to wash dishes and kept my eyes focused on the plate I was washing until he nudged me with his hip, snapping me from the thoughts invading my mind. 

"What's up with you?" he asked, but quietly as I handed over the plate and he began to dry it. 

I shrugged my shoulders trying to brush him off, but I couldn't just keep everything inside of me. I then sighed, "Did you not see it?"

"See what, dude?" Mikey questioned further, causing another huff of air to exit my nostrils. 

"April caught me and Don," 

"What?" he said, but a little loud, so I looked around, making sure that no one heard as Donnie and Raph carried on a conversation with the two newlyweds. 

"Yeah, caught us kissing in the lounge," I nodded while washing another dish and handing it over but Mikey didn't take it yet until I looked at him. 

Our eyes met for just a second, and he continued drying things off, "Dang bro, I bet that was awkward,"

"You have no idea," I muttered, releasing the water from the sink and finishing of the last dish.

"So, like, that's what that whole, 'You guys gonna explain' thing or whatever, was about?" he asked, and I nodded again, snatching the dish towel from Mikey and drying my hands with it. 

Mikey sighed and looked over his shoulder and catching eyes with someone, but I didn't bother looking myself and continued to face the sink; though there was nothing left to wash. 

"Well, I think we should call it a night, babe," Casey announced, and played off a fake yawn and stretch, though it was only three in the afternoon the last time I checked.

"Come on, You guys haven't even been here but a few hours," Raph said, trying to get them to stay a little longer. I shot him a glare but he didn't notice it as he took a sip from his soda. 

"Yeah, Raph's right; and plus, I miss my family Casey," she said, giving him a sweet smile, "And another thing, we kind of have something to tell you guys," 

I leaned on the counter and turned my attention to what April said, hoping to God this has nothing to do with what she saw earlier. But here's to hoping she forgets. 

"I thought we were gonna wait until we knew for sure?" Casey questioned with a concerned look, as everyone became worried right along with him. 

"Well, I want em to know now, I don't wanna wait any longer, I'm too excited," she said, continuing to show off her widest smile. 

"Know what?" Raph asked, looking serious now. 

Mikey piped in, and pulled off the closest joke he could search for in his brain, "Yeah, what is it? It's not like you guys are having a baby or anything!" he barked with a sudden amount of laughter as everyone but Casey and April, joined in with. 

But the look at their faces was evident. They looked totally unfazed by our amusement and the last one to stop laughing was Raph, and Donnie's face paled. 

"Wait," I started, but holding a finger up, "Are you?"

April looked at Casey for a moment; and he basically gave her an okay to continue, and they both nodded in our direction, "We wanted to tell you guys sooner, but I wanted it to be in person," 

"April, You're pregnant?" Donnie asked, sounding a little more excited than I expected.

"It was meant to be a joke," Mikey said, rubbing the back of his neck, where I noticed an unusual chain hanging down, with a key attached to it.

"Yeah, and it was actually a funny joke this time," Raph then added, and I gave him another glare, but this time he actually noticed it and looked away from me. 

"How far along are you?" Donnie questioned, with a smile on his face. 

Why was he so enthused about this stuff?

April gave another award-winning smile, and caressed her stomach with one hand and took ahold of Casey's with the other, "I'm about two months," 

"You've had a baby inside of you for two months? Wow," Mikey breathed, sitting next to Raph at the table. 

"Well, the doctor said he or she hasn't really developed anything major, but it's got some legs, and arms, and a pretty strong heartbeat," she explained, grabbing something that looked like a wallet from her bag and pulled out a black and white photograph. 

I took a few steps closer as she showed the picture out to everyone and letting Donnie grab it first to examine it, but everyone crowded him to see what was on the picture, and sure enough, it was what I expected. 

It was an ultrasound photo of the barely developed child in the wound; and something about it nearly made me puke. 

I could see the small hands, the feet; and long legs that stretched only inches from its body that connected with a little head. 

My eyes half-closed and I squinted at the photo. I never thought about the possibility of children; of kids or anything because I rarely ever got to see them. But taking care of my brothers with Sensei after all of these years was sort of like raising three children, but still; I never thought about it until now; until it hit me right in the face.

"Dude, that's super cool!" Mikey said, taking the photo from Don to get a closer look, "He's so little!" 

"What makes ya think it's gonna be a boy?" Raph added with a bit of a smile, taking the image from Mikey who pouted after it was removed from his possession. 

"You guys can keep that one if you want, we have a dozen of them back at the apartment," Casey said, earning more excitement from Mikey-

I sighed, wanting to keep myself out of the picture but I couldn't keep my mouth shut any longer, "So, is that why you guys are moving?" 

April's smile faded when I spoke up, and looked down briefly "Well, Yeah, sort of, but it's not far, I swear, maybe an hour drive from Manhattan to Jersey," she explained, trying to make matters better but it only made them worse with this new announcement. 

I cut my eyes away from April, and looked directly at Casey who had his arm around her, "So, is that why you married her, because you knocked her up?"

"Leo!" Donnie quietly warned, and signaled for me to be quiet but something strange was coming over me.

"Leo, man, April got pregnant weeks after the wedding- we were kind of hoping for this sort of thing to happen," he shrugged, trying to bring me back down, though I wasn't buying it for some reason.

"Leo, is everything okay?" April asked, but I pushed her question aside. 

"What're you gonna do with it?"

April lowered her eyes at me, "What do mean, what am I gonna do with it?"

"You know, You gonna have one of those things that some dumb parents do, and kill it or maybe you'll give it up for adoption and leave it as ours did," I accused with a roll of my eyes. 

I watched Donnie put his head in his hand, and closed his eyes with a sigh. 

"I don't know what your problem is, but we wouldn't do either of those!" Casey said standing from the chair at the table, but April caressed his hand again and gave it a light squeeze to calm the pretty boy down. 

"Look, Leo, I don't know what's gotten into you, but we don't plan on giving this child up, we planned this, wanted this, I've wanted it forever, and if you don't approve, then you don't gotta be apart of its life, besides; I wanted you all to go on the journey with me, and maybe even be the big brothers or something-- We were even thinking of making you, four godparents, and of course, Splinter, if he was here," she sighed, "He'd be like the grandpa-- but since Leo isn't too happy about our decisions, maybe we shouldn't consult with the leader's decisions, come on, Casey," she huffed, and pulled him from the table as nobody stopped them.

Mikey gave me a bit of a glare, pulling me from the reality I was forcing myself into and realized what I had just done. 

"The hell was that, Leo?" Raph cursed loudly and throwing his hand up at me, and I blinked.

"I-I don't know," I answered flatly and watched as Donnie stood to his feet and stared at me. 

"Whatever it was, You just ruined one of our biggest chances at growing up," he said, leaving the room to go towards his lab. 

"Not cool, bro, not cool at all," Mikey huffed, exiting the room second, while Raph joined him, but leaving the photo of the ultrasound on the dining table--

To clearly torture me. 

ᵀᵒ ᴮᵉ Cᵒⁿᵗⁱⁿᵘᵉᵈ


	28. ᴰʸˢᶠᵘⁿᶜᵗⁱᵒⁿᵃˡ ᴰᵉˢᵗʳᵘᶜᵗⁱᵒⁿ | Part One |

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> " ᵂʰᵃᵗ ᴵˢ Yᵒᵘʳ ᴾᵒⁱˢᵒⁿ "   
ᴵˢ ᵇᵃˢᵉᵈ ᵘᵖᵒⁿ ᶜᵒᵐᵖˡᵉᵗᵉ ᶠⁱᶜᵗⁱᵒⁿ ᵃⁿᵈ ⁱᵈᵉᵃ'ˢ ᴴʸᵈʳᵃᵏⁱⁿᶻ, ᴴᵃˢ ᶜᵒˡˡᵉᶜᵗᵉᵈ ᵒᵛᵉʳ ᵗʰᵉ ᵖˡᵒᵗ ᵒᶠ ʰᵉʳ ᶠᵃᵛᵒʳⁱᵗᵉ ᶠᵃⁿᵈᵒᵐ ᵒᶠ ᵃˡˡ ᵗⁱᵐᵉ, ᵀᴹᴺᵀ
> 
> Book Two Out Now! 
> 
> This Story Contains #Turtlecest. 
> 
> ໓໐ຖ't likē, ໓໐ຖ't rēค໓.
> 
> After Raphael and Leonardo think that their brothers are dead from a warehouse explosion, they mourn the deaths of what remained, including the lie and betrayal of their father faking his own death to keep them safe. Raph and Leo try to move on, but more than twenty surprises hit them in the face like a ton of bricks when Donnie and Mike return to the lair after a fight for adventure. Feelings begin to bloom over the loss. And drama forms and rains over their heads like a storm.
> 
> Falling In Love With Your Own Sibling Was Never going to be easy-- but getting them to love you back was a challenge-- Only in reality-- they all loved each other just as equal. 
> 
> Read ᵂʰᵃᵗ ᴵˢ Yᵒᵘʳ ᴾᵒⁱˢᵒⁿ to find out what unfolds right before their eyes, and to be there every step of the way as these four brothers discover what true love and sacrifice truly means to have exactly what you want.

ᵂʰᵃᵗ ᴵˢ Yᵒᵘʳ ᴾᵒⁱˢᵒⁿ

Cʰᵃᵖᵗᵉʳ ˣˣⱽᴵᴵ

ᴰʸˢᶠᵘⁿᶜᵗⁱᵒⁿᵃˡ ᴰᵉˢᵗʳᵘᶜᵗⁱᵒⁿ | Part One |

{ Smut Warning }

[ Donatello ] 

\- - -

= Journal Entry 2 =

December 22nd, 2019

Today was a day where everyone took a celebration a little too far sometimes. 

Today was the day I turned twenty-one years old, My Birthday--

Big boom, huge sigh of not excitement, right?

My brothers, they are all asleep, snoring right about now; and I can literally hear them through the walls of my lab where we now call our Nest. Is that dumb? Probably- but I didn't come here to be judged by a piece of paper, I came here because well, I haven't written anything since the fifteenth. 

That was when bad things happened to Mike, and everyone in the house was on baby watch basically- and well, I was just there to protect him. 

Since then, everyone has grown a little closer than we were before all this emotional crap came crashing into our lives like a giant wrecking ball. 

There have been a lot more fights since then; and fewer arguments. But- I hit Leo, and well, it over was a pretty dumb reason I guess. Is it okay to be a little jealous? Overly protective, and what they call possessive?

I was doing a load of research for this sort of thing and pretty much about why I get so angry when I see him interacting with someone else, and of course not me.

It all popped up around obsession, and love- and all that crap- it hurt my head, though my heart at the same time. I clearly knew now how Leo felt for Raph, but he was working around it for me. I loved him, and well-- I loved everyone equally really but Leo, there was just everything special about him.

I couldn't quite put my finger on it. But I could see it every time I saw him smile because seeing that was like hearing Raph be kind about something other than himself. 

But Leo's smile, it was the one thing that really stuck. 

I was worried about my outbursts. Or was that even what you'd call them? Minor ones maybe, but mine with Leo, and the small ones with Raph I had weeks before the trip to Japan.

Was I hitting a peak? God, maybe it's just my hormones. I need to remind myself to do more studies on it; and maybe if Turtles like myself were able to consume such a thing and even handle a point of anger where they blackout as I did. 

For now, I better get some sleep- or try because I'm beginning to understand the jidders you get before something big as Mikey told me about. He loved celebrating pretty much anything-- and maybe the last piece of pizza will be the final day he kicks. 

Jokes.

But yeah, 

Happy Birthday to me.

Signed, Don.

\- - -

"Donnie!" said my youngest brother, awaking me, "D, come on, dude, wake up!"

I groaned, nestling into the blanket I had pulled over my head, to only have it pulled back down by him. 

"What?" I huffed, leaning up on my elbows, and blinking to clear some of my blurry vision, "Did you guys turn off my alarm?" I questioned, clearly surprised that Mikey was up before me. 

"We turned it off," announced Leo to my right as I slipped on my glasses. 

"You what?" I gasped, while quickly standing up and almost tripping over all of the blankets, and getting my feet tangled in them, "What time is it?"

I took another step and lost my balance, but Raph stepped in front of me and caught my fall, staring down at me with a grin, "It's only noon, Genius," 

"We wanted you to catch a few Z's before you started your big day!" Mikey gushed before he skipped away into the kitchen. 

Raph continued to hold me in place and helping me gain a leg or two again. 

"Big day?" I muttered, nearly forgetting before it hit me. 

"Your birthday silly," Leo said, making himself known behind me, and sliding both of his biceps around me, and pressing a kiss to the back of my neck, forcing a shiver down my spine. 

I knitted my brows together in confusion, "Right," 

"We wanted things to be a little extra for ya, today," Raph muttered before leaning down to connect his mouth with mine, completely catching me off guard.

"Wanted you to relax, since you work so hard on not letting us worry about ourselves," Leo said into my ear, rubbing his hands down towards my sweats, where a bulge was already forming at the seams. 

"G-Guys," I tried to say before Raph forced his lips back on mine. 

The taste was electric; delicious even, and something in it was daring and rebellious. I sighed into Raph's mouth, giving in to the kiss, and feeling odd for this, but it all felt so different; so good at the same time. 

"Don't start without me!" Mikey whined, Joining in at my side with a can of what I assumed was whip cream in his hand. 

"We couldn't- you're gonna put that mouth of yours to work," Leo reassured, but once again, in my ear with a husk to his voice, and a dark, rich, vigor to the tone, completely turning me on. 

"Yeah," Raph said, disconnecting our lips, leaving me breathless, "Be sure to go easy on him, he is the weakest out of us all," he grinned, forcing the heat in my face to rise further. 

"G-Guys, what're you doing!" I panted, watching Mikey drop to his knees. 

"Just relax, Don," Leo whispered, moving his hands to the back of my sweats and fiddling around until his fingers catch on just the tip of my tail that was already sticking out and up with a begging need for attention.

"Yeah, we wanna take care of ya," Raph then muttered, licking a stripe up the side of my throat, and with that- and on top of where Leo's fingers were adventuring to, I released a low moan, but not loud enough to apparently please my brothers.

This couldn't be real, could it?

Leo wouldn't let anyone else touch me, right?

"We wanna hear you," Leo purred, pinching the tip of my tail, and I writhed, forcing my behind up against his frame, feeling an obvious bulge of his own, while letting another moan or two slip from my lips. 

"Hear him," I heard Raph snicker, as I knelt my head forward, almost close enough to connect it to his chest, "Not only do we wanna hear ya, Don. We're gonna make this your best birthday yet," he said, as you could obviously hear the splitting smile on his face. 

"Let's lie down shall we?" Leo suggested soothingly in the back of my mind, but leading me back to bed, where he sat and positioned me between his legs, and lied back against all the pillows.

I didn't follow through until he caressed my arms, and pulled me back against his chest; letting his lips fall to my neck. 

"Get those off him, Mikey," Raph pointed, where our smallest sibling obeyed immediately and yanked at my sweats, and I quickly tried to resist and shook my head. 

"N-No," I pleaded, but Leo grabbed both of my arms again, and pulled them tight above my head, and hooked them around his neck while whispering things into my ear to calm me down like he always did when I got too nervous. 

"Just relax, for me, Don?" Leo soothed, running the palms of his hands down the undersides of my arms, and over my chest cavity where I half-closed my eyes, trying to let happen whatever was to happen, as I felt my bottoms disappear from out underneath me. 

"Come on, D, let me in," Mikey cooed, rubbing in between my legs where my erection embarrassingly stood up, as he grabbed it with one hand, and the can of whipped cream in the other. He then popped the cap, as my eyes widened, and poured some onto the tip of my member, where he smeared it down the base and began to lap at me with his tongue. 

"I guess I know now just how good he looks when he's doin' that for me," Raph grinned, as I screwed my eyes shut and let my head fall back onto Leo, where he attacked my exposed neck with the harshest of bites, and nibbles, leaving me a bit of a mess. 

"He's gonna get all sticky," Leo retorted, pulling his teeth from the hickey I'm sure he just caused, "Who's idea was it for the whipped cream?" 

Mikey stared up at us both as Raph continued to look down at him, watching his every move, "Mine, of course. Plus, Donnie will just end up messy anyways, and in the meantime, I'm eating breakfast for two," Mikey cheekily answered, and praising himself to the fullest, as he lowered his head again, and taking the tip of me into his mouth, and sucking briefly before letting go with a loud pop. 

"We can't hear you, Don," Leo purred into my ear again, wrapping a hand around my throat, lightly choking me, and forcing noises from my lips that were more louder than the last as I watched Mikey swallow my entire erection, causing me to buck my hips and nearly make him gag- which he didn't.

"O-Oh!" I churred, digging my fingers into the back of Leo's neck, and just barely arching my back up off of him. 

"That's it, Mike, give it to him good," Raph gently praised and reached to push Mikey's head further down on me, letting the back of his throat take me whole, nearly bringing me over the edge with a single drag of his tongue. 

"I think that's all he can handle, for now, Mikey," Leo said, but loud enough for him to hear and Mikey pulled off of me, letting my erection hit me just below my abdomen. 

I huffed loudly finally releasing the held breaths of air in my throat, "You guys, I c-can't handle all of this," I warned, nearly drooling from how out of breath I was. 

"Shh, we've got you, Don," Leo promised, lifting me into his lap, As I was realizing what was to come next. I felt his hand ghost my tail and move only an inch or two further down, but what I thought he was going to do, ended up with him just caressing his own throbbing erection, and lining it up with my behind. 

"W-Wait, Leo," I tried, but before I could crawl off of him, Raph was on his knees, and pushing me back against my mate's chest and forcing him inside of me without a single warning though I heard Leo try and protest- but the breath caught in my throat was to show it was far too late to stop now.

My body was on fire, and the amount of pain and pleasure I hadn't felt in so long was building up inside of me, causing me to desperately rotate, and thrust my hips on Leo, forcing a grunt or two out of him, while a comment from Raph fell from his lips on how tight I probably was, and Leo agreed, grasping both of my hips as I braced my hands on Raph who was biting where Leo was moments before, and harshly leaving kiss after kiss on my bruised and bitten skin. 

I couldn't help but make real moans now; I realized that this was actually happening and these three were as dirty as they all claimed to be; and never had I expected to be tackled into a situation like this, and given one of the best presents a guy could ever have from his family and loved ones. 

I felt a hand on my cock again and noticed Mikey crawling up to the opposite side of where Raph sat on his knees as Leo thrust himself into me, picking up the pace by the second, nearly making my glasses fall off my face, but they were saved once Raph attached his lips to mine again, and kissed me hard enough to not bother asking for an entrance with his tongue. 

I churred into his mouth, feeling the tears in my eyes pool from how good this all was. It was exactly what I needed. Raph kissing me, Mikey touching me in ways I couldn't describe, and Leo buried eleven inches inside of me. I couldn't last; I wouldn't and they knew it. They knew how badly I wanted this or something small like this in particular. 

I was losing complete control, as my tongue tangled with my big brothers and my hands attached to the tails hanging down from his mask, and I squeezed them tight as the entire world fell out from underneath me. 

Everything was getting black- and falling around me, my brothers disappeared and my eyes were beginning to shut until I heard a lot of shouting--

My eyes flew open, as I realized I was back in my office, my lab, where I spent most of my time, just working until the early hours of the day. 

I lifted my head off of my desk, to my assumption where I fell asleep, and I blinked, noticing a post-it note stuck to my cheek, and I cringed at the drool dampening on my face, and I quickly wiped it off with the back of my hand and pulled the note off my face, and flipped it over, reading some random doodle on the front. 

I sighed and crumpled up the purple piece of paper and chucked it into the metal bin beneath my desk. I pushed myself away from the table and rested my head in my hands. Crumbled by the reality I was just pulled into.

"Can't believe all of that wasn't real," I muttered, then forcing myself to stand and snatching my glasses from the surface of the table to regain my vision. 

I heard a few shouts and yells coming from the other side of my door, and I lowered my head for a moment to collect my dream, and the last few minutes. I took in a breath of air, noticing that I should probably change my pants; which is what I did since they were wet. 

I made my way towards the door, hearing loud, but hushed voices from the other side, but they were faint, indicating that they were in another room. 

I slid open the door and looked around before coming out. 

"Would you guys shut up, You're gonna wake him!" I heard Mikey say with a loud, but hushed voice. 

"Probably already woke him due to your big mouth," Raph retorted, sounding pretty proud, though sarcastic of his comeback. 

I looked toward the nest and noticed that the area was kind of cleaned up and neat, and so was the entire lounge. No garbage, no dirty clothing hanging around; and definitely no empty pizza boxes and mindless toys lurking about.

Did they clean?

I quietly tiptoed towards the kitchen and peered around the corner to find my three brothers huddled around the kitchen table, obviously doing something they weren't good at. 

The kitchen though was an utter mess, but for some reason, I knew it was for a good reason. 

"No, do it over there," Leo slouched and pointed at something on the table, I couldn't really see.

"But it looks better there," Raph insisted, and pushed Leo with his hip, as I let my lips fall into a hard line on my face at the gesture from my older brother to my even older mate. 

"Hey- making this was my idea, I'm surprised it's stayed in shape!" Mikey said, but then he stopped, as I made my way into the kitchen and crossing my arms over one another. 

"Making what?" I asked, but trying to act a little less curious, or interested than I actually was. 

Leo turned along with Raph to face me and smiled lightly having a pack of matches in his hand, "Donnie, You're up!" he said, sounding a little surprised.

I nodded and moved to one foot to try and see what was going on, but they followed my movements and avoided letting me know what was on that table. 

"We woke you, didn't we?" Mikey disappointingly asked, with an already pouting frown forming on his face. 

I shook my head side to side, "No, not really-- what're you guys up to?" 

"Nothin' um," Raph began, but I smirked and stepped forward.

"Show me?" I asked nicely- though feeling a little down. 

Mikey sighed and turned to lift something off of the table, and on a metal tray was a double-stacked cake, covered in fluffy pink icing and on top, were at least ten candles, and only half were lit. 

My eyes lit up at the sight of the cake; and not only was this sweet; but the way they made it was actually good. It was nice, and didn't look like a blob of clay on the side of the road or something-

"Happy Birthday!" They all said in unison, and I nearly teared up-

"Did you guys make this?" I asked, clearly blown away by the gesture, and took another step forward to get a closer look. 

"Yeah, with the help of our fearless leader here," Raph grinned, nudging an elbow to Leo who smiled in return and looked at me. 

"They weren't too bad of bakers either," he said, but went and took the cake from Mikey and held it up to me, nodding towards the candles, "Make a wish,"

I watched his eyes for a moment and bit the inside of my cheek, wishing I could wish for that dream to be real, but I knew that these three were way too full of themselves to give each other up to me like that. Plus, it was wrong of me anyway--

I inhaled deeply and with a big blow, I blew what candles were lit out as a faint cloud of smoke rose in the room, but when I went to blow them out- a camera flashed and Mikey giggled when he pulled the printed photograph from the polaroid April got me two Christmas's ago.

Christmas.

I almost forgot about it. 

What was it going to be like this year?

Without Sensei.

ᵀᵒ ᴮᵉ Cᵒⁿᵗⁱⁿᵘᵉᵈ


	29. ᴰʸˢᶠᵘⁿᶜᵗⁱᵒⁿᵃˡ ᴰᵉˢᵗʳᵘᶜᵗⁱᵒⁿ | Part Two |

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> " ᵂʰᵃᵗ ᴵˢ Yᵒᵘʳ ᴾᵒⁱˢᵒⁿ "   
ᴵˢ ᵇᵃˢᵉᵈ ᵘᵖᵒⁿ ᶜᵒᵐᵖˡᵉᵗᵉ ᶠⁱᶜᵗⁱᵒⁿ ᵃⁿᵈ ⁱᵈᵉᵃ'ˢ ᴴʸᵈʳᵃᵏⁱⁿᶻ, ᴴᵃˢ ᶜᵒˡˡᵉᶜᵗᵉᵈ ᵒᵛᵉʳ ᵗʰᵉ ᵖˡᵒᵗ ᵒᶠ ʰᵉʳ ᶠᵃᵛᵒʳⁱᵗᵉ ᶠᵃⁿᵈᵒᵐ ᵒᶠ ᵃˡˡ ᵗⁱᵐᵉ, ᵀᴹᴺᵀ
> 
> Book Two Out Now! 
> 
> This Story Contains #Turtlecest. 
> 
> ໓໐ຖ't likē, ໓໐ຖ't rēค໓.
> 
> After Raphael and Leonardo think that their brothers are dead from a warehouse explosion, they mourn the deaths of what remained, including the lie and betrayal of their father faking his own death to keep them safe. Raph and Leo try to move on, but more than twenty surprises hit them in the face like a ton of bricks when Donnie and Mike return to the lair after a fight for adventure. Feelings begin to bloom over the loss. And drama forms and rains over their heads like a storm.
> 
> Falling In Love With Your Own Sibling Was Never going to be easy-- but getting them to love you back was a challenge-- Only in reality-- they all loved each other just as equal. 
> 
> Read ᵂʰᵃᵗ ᴵˢ Yᵒᵘʳ ᴾᵒⁱˢᵒⁿ to find out what unfolds right before their eyes, and to be there every step of the way as these four brothers discover what true love and sacrifice truly means to have exactly what you want.

ᵂʰᵃᵗ ᴵˢ Yᵒᵘʳ ᴾᵒⁱˢᵒⁿ

Cʰᵃᵖᵗᵉʳ ˣˣⱽᴵᴵᴵ

ᴰʸˢᶠᵘⁿᶜᵗⁱᵒⁿᵃˡ ᴰᵉˢᵗʳᵘᶜᵗⁱᵒⁿ | Part Two |

{ Smut Warning }

[ Donatello ]

"So, where are we going?" I asked Mikey as I was slipping my arms through the straps of my backpack.

"We're gonna go stop by April's place," he answered, strapping on one of his knee pads.

"Why can't they just come here?" I questioned further, but to only realize my answer not even a second afterward.

Mikey sighed and stood up after grabbing his board, "Because somebody still hates, Leo," he stated, answering my thoughts as I glanced towards Leo, who was deep in a book and lounging across our nest. 

He briefly looked up from the pages and caught me looking at him, though I didn't bother looking away and he smiled at me. 

"We better get going-" I said, not taking my eyes off my mate; who was staring just as harshly as I was. I debated to drop everything and just kiss him goodbye, but I slowly turned and walked away- forcing every want and need from my mind.

After me and Mikey made it to the rooftops, things got a little easier as I felt the droplets of snow sting at my skin, making me feel well at home again. I couldn't be any happier, though there was a part of me that missed the sights; the constant warm weather of the tall mountains and deep green oak trees and cherry blossoms. 

I missed it like I missed my home, and Japan could never be my home, even with how badly I wanted it to be. 

"We're almost there," Mikey shouted ahead of me, as I hopped over a gap in the buildings below me, and landed just on my feet and kept running and jumping over typical objects that the top of apartment buildings had. 

I watched as Mikey kicked the rockets in on his board and hopped a gap the size of a yard or two, and I realized that it was my turn on this random event of jumping sports. I quickly pulled out my bo and stretched it out to full length and caught myself on the concrete below and launched myself over the gap with a large out bringing leap from the electric pulse coming from my weapon and landed swiftly on the other side. 

After a few more building hops, we finally made it to Casey and April's apartment and I was the first to knock on the window, and she let us in, with a curious look. 

"Where's the rest of you?" she asked almost sounding worried and looking behind me, expecting Leo or Raph to barge in.

"Well, Leo thinks you hate him, and Raph decided to stay back and finish some ball game on TV," I shrugged.

"Leo has a right to think so," Casey announced entering the room.

I cut my eyes at him, but mentally agreed somewhere that everyone, including myself, thought Leo was a bit out of line that day-- I sighed quietly and nodded my head, "He's pained for what he said to you guys, and making an appearance would have been a little awkward for him,"

"Well, he was out of character, but I don't hate him, and neither does Cas," she said narrowing at Casey who was carrying box after box from what I assumed was their bedroom.

After he dropped one on the previous, he grinned halfway at April and sauntered over to give her a brief kiss, and I heard Mikey gag beside me as I looked away in the opposite direction; as feeling a little weird watching a couple become romantic with one another. 

I quietly envied them, but I couldn't bring myself to be so upset with something I sort of had; but all at the same time, didn't.

"Anywho, Happy Birthday!" she smiled, and gave me an unexpected hug that I loathed completely and stood in for and hugged back. 

"Birthday?" Casey questioned with a raised eyebrow.

April glared at him, and nodded, "Yes. Today is Don's birthday- I told you this last night when you asked why I bought those books," 

"Only because they nearly cost you two-hundred dollars, but hey! That doesn't matter now, huh? Happy Birthday, man!" he praised, making things incredibly awkward.

"Books?" Mikey chirped, fiddling with the orange stained tassel hanging down from his mask in an oddly cute fashion, "You guys got Don a gift?" 

April tilted her head at Mikey and nodded, "We always do ya silly!" 

I watched Mikey start pouting- "Aw man, we didn't get anything for him, now I look like the world's worst brother," 

I rolled my eyes, and nudged him carefully- "I don't need you to get me anything-" I turned my direction towards April, "And neither do I, You, Ms. O'Neil,"

"Oh hush, and that's Mrs. Jones, to you, sir," she smirked, forcing a blush on my face, but earning another gag from Mikey as April crossed the room to bring over a package covered in a solid lilac-colored wrapping paper, "Open it,"

I shook my head, almost wanting to avoid taking the gift, but then again, I knew that April wouldn't take no for an answer, so I just gave in and gently tore at the paper, revealing a set of books underneath that stacked in at least three.

I ripped the paper off, reading the words on the front and feeling the thick tethered leather wrapping the books in my hand, and I nearly gasped, "Are these first editions?" I asked quietly looking right at April who nodded proudly- 

"Yeah!" she squeaked, "This old man in the book store I visit a lot was selling these and wouldn't go any lower on prices, but I didn't care, I know how much you love literature,"

"These are the first edition, Norton Anthology novels. Jeez, April, I don't know what to say!" I gushed, nearly speechless, "Thank you, so much!"

"Don't thank me, Genius, I figured you deserved it after all the hard work I just know you've been doing for the lair and all," she smiled.

"Now I really am the worst brother ever, she got you freakin' books!" Mikey whined. 

I almost laughed, but snickered instead, occasionally looking at the books and back at him, "Mikey I told you, I don't want nothing from you guys, I'm happy with that horrendous cake you baked me,"

He pouted again and gave me a glare, "It was a good cake!"

"A cake only you loved!" I finally laughed.

"Wait- you baked him a birthday cake? Damn, I wish I was there too of seen what skill Raph has at baking and then, I'd of had a reason to drill him full of comments about how bad it looked," grinned Casey and I shrugged. 

"He mostly did the icing" I reassured him, and he huffed with disappointment. 

"Still would have been fun to drill the hot-head,"

"Raph isn't too much of a hot-head anymore," corrected Mikey out of nowhere. 

April then looked at Mike as she crossed her arms with a puzzled look as I carried the books into my backpack and put them away safely-

"What do you mean?" she asked, tilting her head as I watched Casey continue with the box carrying until he heard what Mikey said, and he stopped dead in the middle of the living room. 

"Yeah, what exactly does that mean? Raph isn't Raph unless he's like, well, gettin' pissed at pretty much everything!" he clarified, thinking he knows my brother, but he doesn't. 

"It's kind of hard to explain," I muttered, with a second-hand shrug.

"I guess you could say he's sort of growing up," Mikey then answered, aiming to throw April and Casey off the deep end with the questions.

Him and his big mouth. 

"Growing up?" April continued to push.

I nodded, stepping in a bit to save Mikey from a nervous breakdown or something- "Yeah, we all sort of are- and Raph has taken a turn I guess to where he's less angry about things," 

"Hmm," April hummed, "I guess so, but hey! Why don't we let these two get to know one another, and you come out on the balcony with me for a minute," 

"No way- don't leave me alone with Mr. Two-Tone can't fill out a shirt, guy!" Mikey snorted but gave me another pout.

"You'll be fine, I'm sure you two have loads to catch up on, but why do you need me out there?" I rose a hairless eyebrow in curiosity and followed April towards what revealed the bedroom and I watched as she pulled two curtains back, and pushed open these two double doors, and opened a gateway to a small lit balcony on just the edge of the building-- you could see half of New York from here. 

"I wanted to talk," she finally answered, leaning on the railing.

"Talk? But Wow, You seriously wanna move to Jersey and miss a view like this?" I said, ducking underneath the doorway and stepping out to get a better look, and from here, it was truly amazing- though I've seen better views, but still- a view of the whole city- you couldn't bargain from that and a cheap apartment.

"Yeah, talk," she said sliding the doors closed behind me, and I looked at her, feeling suddenly nervous.

"About what?" I asked, not taking my eyes off some random window from the building across the way-

"What I saw the other day," 

The words echoed in the back of my mind; and every inch of realization smacked me in the face. 

I almost forgot that April caught me and Leo kissing-- and the question she continued to ask us, went unanswered, and the amount of redness on Leo's face was almost laughable for me, but I ranged myself speechless, and didn't say a word, waiting for my leader's next move, like we always did.

"Oh," I started with a small mutter of my voice, "What about it?"

"Well, what was that about?" 

I blinked, briefly staring at my feet and bracing my hands on the metal railing in front of me, "I don't know what you mean, April-- it's already-- uh, it's um,"

"It's what? I'm just curious about what's going on with you guys- I'm not saying what I saw was bad, because, what can four brothers do without any human interaction, they sort of have no choic--"

"I did have a choice, and so did the rest of us!" I clarified, nearly raising my voice as I looked right at her, almost causing a surprised expression to take over her face, "I mean-- like, what you saw, it wasn't because we can't have what you have, April-- it's just- it's been a long time coming if that makes any sense,"

"Wait- the rest of you, so, it's not just you or Leo?" she asked, sounding baffled.

I huffed, "I shouldn't be the one telling you-- but no, it isn't," 

"So, are you guys like, Gay?" she continued to question, making me feel a little irritated by using the word I didn't really prefer, though I knew the truth behind its meaning and definition. 

"If you wanna put it that way then, um, Yeah, but for each other, only for each other," I answered, feeling a huge weight lift off my shoulders. 

For once, it felt nice to actually tell someone. 

"Wow, so, what I saw, wasn't some trick? When did this start?" she gushed.

I looked down, then at her again, letting my eyes fall a bit as I let honesty pour from my mouth, "It's been going on for me, for years really-- I dunno about the others, or when it started for them, because we haven't really discussed that- you know? but um, my feelings for Leo started a few months before Sensei's death, maybe longer, I dunno," 

"Right- which reminds me, um, I'm not gonna ask any more questions, especially since I'm getting letters to give to you, from Splinter himself," she sighed, catching my attention completely-

"What?" I took my hands off the railing and looked at her. 

"Yeah," I watched as April reached into her back pocket and pulled out an envelope that had a wax stamp on it; like the one Gyoji sent to Leo about the Chains, which now hangs around Mikey's neck, "I didn't tell Casey about it- because he'd question more than me, and we've got enough to worry about anyway but it's addressed to you," 

I took the letter from April; and sure enough, on the front of the envelope read out from Sensei himself. His name was written in all cursive, Just like the rest of the wording was. 

This was dad's writing alright.

I quickly slipped my finger underneath the flap of the envelope and pulled out a short written letter in the same writing as on the front of the note. 

Donatello,

I wanted to wish my best- and smartest son of them all a very special and safe, Happy Twenty-First Birthday!

I know that my writing to you like this, and to the rest of you, is getting old. But for now, I promise you, it will all come to an end very soon, and I will return, and everything will be back to normal in due time.

I hope that today is exactly what you hope for it to be and my absence doesn't burden you as much as it does me, my son. 

But I wanted you four to know that I love and miss you very much and to also be aware of my knowledge from Master Gyoji that you four are also known of the Masked Terrapin legends that bleed on these very walls I resign in. 

I planned on telling you eventually but I figured it might be a little too much for you to handle, especially with all of the mellow drama as Michelangelo would call it; and this mess from my lies, and deceitfulness.

I promise you that you will know of much more soon, and I will return just as fast.

I love you my sons, and to yours truly on this day-- Donatello,

Happy Birthday- 

From yours truly, Master Splinter. 

I hadn't realized the tears dripping from my eyes until one splattered on the page shaking in my hands. 

"Donnie?" I heard April repeat.

"I have to go," I muttered, fiddling with the knobs of the double doors and forcing them open, hearing April call for me, but I ignored her. I needed to get back to the lair, immediately-

"So, this way- right?" Casey asked as I headed into the living area again, where I saw Mikey trying to teach Casey some trick with his nunchucks.

"Yeah! You got it, dude!" he giggled, obviously making this man look like a fool with weapons he had no knowledge of. 

"We're leaving-" I announced, jumping up on the opening of the window we came in through. 

"What- Why?" Mikey questioned, debating to follow me. 

"Because, we are, now let's go!" 

"Donatello, wait a minute, tell me what the hell is going on?" April yelled after me as I was already slipping out the window and jogging up the metal stairs that clanked with every step I took until I made it to the roof and repeating the pattern we took to get here. 

"D, wait a sec, what the hell is up!" Mikey called, making me stop for a minute because I simply couldn't make matters worse by not telling my baby brother. 

I turned, knowing that he'd see the tears pooling in my eyes again, "Here," I simply said, handing over the letter and wiping my face and stepping away from him to admire the random view from the building to try and ignore any sight of thoughts racing through my mind.

"What is this- is this from Sensei?" He asked as I heard him unfolding the letter. 

A moment passed before anything else was said between us, and I just kept my focus on the sky and dark clouds passing above my head. 

"He's coming home, Mike," I finally stated, feeling a burning in my chest at the thoughts of the possibilities when Sensei returns. 

"Why?" Mikey questioned, sounding shocked, but careless, "Why now-- why is he doing this now!" 

I turned, wiping my face again, "I don't know, but telling the others won't exactly be easy- we need to get home," 

Mikey sighed and nodded before we took off, while I ignored every incoming phone call from April.

I felt awful for just taking off on her like that- but I couldn't let her see me like that. Like this, and so broken, so messed up after all this. 

We thought we lost who meant the most to us when in reality- each other is who we admired the most while our own father played games with us, to cover his tracks, and now, I see it more than anyone ever did. 

After we made it to the tunnels, Mikey stopped me by grabbing my hand, making me look down at him, "Are you okay?" 

I waited on my answer, making sure if I actually was or not; which I knew deep down, I wasn't. 

"I'm fine," 

Mikey's lips straightened in a hardline, knowing my lie I just spilled- "You aren't- hah, I wouldn't be-- actually I'm not fine now, but at least I don't lie about it," 

I sighed, "Mikey could we just get this back to the others befo--"

"No, I wanna make sure you're okay!" 

"I'm fine!" I argued.

"You aren't so stop lying to me, dammit! I'm not as dumb as you think I am!" 

I blinked, "I didn't say--"

"No, you didn't, but D, everyone treats me like I am, I mean, I feel like you're the only one who actually knows it; maybe Raph does, but he doesn't show it enough to make me feel it; and shit- I feel it with you," he rambled, forcing another blush on my face, as I felt my heart begin to pound. 

"Mikey- I never mean to make you feel dumb, I just- I get a little irritated sometimes, that's all,"

"Can I just-" he started, while leaning up on all of his toes to grab the back of my neck and force me down to match his height; just before I felt the breath in my throat catch, and Mikey pressed his lips to mine, lighting a fire between us both.

I kissed back in an instant feeling the heat rising in the air and the greed I fought back from my dream I so badly needed, but couldn't reach far enough to grasp, until my hands found their way to the underside of my little brothers bottom, where I gave it a tight squeeze, and letting a sweet churr fill the inside of my mouth. 

"D," Mikey panted after parting from my lips, leaving me with a trail of saliva connecting from our tongues, "I'm not asking for much, b-but, I need you," 

I was confused, Yet so helpless from this sudden approach from Mikey and something was coming over me, something I hadn't ever felt before. 

The amount of dominance taking over me was humiliating but it took control of the gears in my brain where it led straight to my groin, and before I knew it, I had Mikey's pants off, and hoisted him up against the wall, not thinking about who or what could hear us for what was to come next.

I didn't care, I wanted this, but for a moment- I felt my heart ping to me, telling me just how much of a dirty hypocrite I was.

My lips were attached to Mikey's neck, erupting sounds I never thought I'd get out of him. He was just as desperate as me and grinding up against me with the force I knew he had in him. The greed, the want behind his whines turned me on so much that I could probably cum on the spot. 

Donnie, You're gonna hate yourself for taking advantage of your little brother when you know he's in just the amount of emotional instabilities as you are. 

I forced the echoing words into the back of my mind, Putting my wants, and Mikey's needs right in front of me as I popped the buttons on my pants, and dropped down without even trying as I was already lining myself up with the target just below the cute tail I knew Mikey loathed when it was touched. 

I felt the beads of sweat already forming on my face, thinking about my next move, knowing I wanted this, yet being very inexperienced. But tonight my negative mind wasn't going to win.

"D-D," Mikey whined, gripping the back of my neck, forcing me in closer to kiss him again as I penetrated him slow at first; as a wave of overwhelmingly confusing pleasure rushed down my spine, making my hips twitch. 

"Oh," I rasped into his mouth, digging my fingers into the curve of Mikey's happy trail, "God," 

"M-More," he whispered, not letting me pull away any further than just inches from his mouth, as I felt the hot breaths of cinnamon-minty smells blowing on my face, reminding me just of who this was, and how special he exactly was to me, and the rest. 

"Mikey!" I nearly gasped, pushing my hips forward to penetrate my brother deeper, earning a cry from his lips, "A-Am I hurting you?" I asked on a quick breath, and he shook his head fast, letting me know he was fine. 

"No, f-feels, r-really good!" he moaned, even if my thrusts were slow, sloppy and troubled at first. 

I felt my muscles tingle, and twitch with the work of my legs and upper body as I thrust into him, finding all the right and wrong ways possible to make us both feel it all at once, and the deeper I went, the more sounds I forced out of Mikey- letting him fuel my energy to give it to him like he hadn't had it before in his whole life.

"Damn, Mikey," I churred leaving sloppy kisses on his opening mouth, while quickening my pace, and snapping my hips to meet up with his, driving myself closer, and closer, but holding off until I knew I wanted this to be over. 

"D-Donnie, do it harder, I-I like it, R-Rough!" Mikey said on short breathes, making my heart hammer in my chest.

Rough.

I felt my cock throb, knowing I couldn't handle much longer, as I angled myself a little differently and snapped my hips up again, and again, holding Mikey tight against the wall so he doesn't fall out of my aching arms.

"M-Mikey- Michelangelo! I can't h-hold it, gonna, ah!" I bit my lip, silencing myself the best I could, though the noises my brother was making wasn't held back or fake. I was making those happen, and he was feeling this way because of me. 

Mikey's hand found its way to his own member, where he wrapped it around the base and gave it quick sloppy pumps, and I watched letting my forehead rest against his as he came all over himself and his fist. 

"Donnie!" he churred, letting me feel those hot breaths of air again, sending me over the edge till the point of no return.

As moments went by- the void of realization hit me, and for some reason, the daring thing I just did, made me feel more alive than I ever have in my whole life. 

I felt closer with my one and only youngest brother, and in a strange type of way- I loved him so much that not even the smallest of insects could harm him while I was present. 

I nuzzled Mikey's face, letting him know that I'm not going anywhere until he asked politely to put him down, which I obliged, and he nearly fell on wobbly legs, and I caught him and gave him a chaste kiss on the lips before we collected ourselves and took our time going back to the lair, and joking along the way and connecting our hands occasionally like one of those cheesy couples in a romance movie. 

Our heads snapped up in the direction of our home, as the noises of glass breaking were coming straight from the lair. 

I glanced at Mikey and started to worry and thought that maybe Raph and Leo got mixed up in something while we were away and started fighting again, like usually but glass breaking was more than a usual fight between the two.

We headed for the lair and entered with the push of a button or two and were greeted by flying bottles crashing to the floor. 

"Woahh, that was a good one!" Leo slurred, as he let out a laugh I didn't think I heard before. 

"Wha- no, not as good as the last!" Raphael disagreed with the same amount of slur in his voice. 

Another bottle flew our way and missed Mikey's head by inches, infuriating me. 

"Hey!" I shouted, catching my two eldest brothers attention, seeing that Leo had a bottle in his hand, that looked like. . .

Beer?

"Oh hey!" Leo said, sounding a little relapsed, and disconnected from his real tone, "Look who's back!" 

Raph stole Leo's drink, and sipped from it until the tip of the bottle fell from his lips with a bit of a pop as he stood up, "The big birthday boy," he teased, making my stomach turn. 

"Raph?" Mikey spoke, his voice nearly cracking as he took a step over the broken glass. 

"Are you guys--" I could barely get the words out- "Are you guys drunk?" 

"Drunk," Leo snickered, and pushing Raph as he fell back on the couch laughing- "No, idiot, were totally bonkers!"

Idiot?

My heart throbbed as Leo fell on Raph, and wrapped his arms around him in the most comforting way despise how drunk they were. 

The anger inside of me before the broken beer bottle nearly shattered over Mikey's head haunted me, and my hands went into fists, and I took a step forward, feeling a rush of something unknown take over my body-

"Don?" I heard Mikey mumble from behind me, as I didn't even realize he was there.

When did I move here?

"What's with all the purple stuff, Donnie, have you been playin' with makeup or some shit?" Raph spat with another laugh, urging the rage boiling in my system to spin over the top.

My body was vibrating underneath my toes, and the weapon in my hand was something of mysteries. 

My eyes were set on two people I loved and cherished a lot; but not even my positive emotions would blind my anger for the things I possibly couldn't name at this point in time. 

I wanted to spill blood. 

And not even the glowing purple patterns forming on my skin was distracting enough. 

ᵀᵒ ᴮᵉ Cᵒⁿᵗⁱⁿᵘᵉᵈ


	30. ᵀʰʳᵒᵘᵍʰ Sⁱⁿ ᴬⁿᵈ Sᵉˡᶠ ᴿᵉᵃˡⁱᶻᵃᵗⁱᵒⁿ

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> " ᵂʰᵃᵗ ᴵˢ Yᵒᵘʳ ᴾᵒⁱˢᵒⁿ "   
ᴵˢ ᵇᵃˢᵉᵈ ᵘᵖᵒⁿ ᶜᵒᵐᵖˡᵉᵗᵉ ᶠⁱᶜᵗⁱᵒⁿ ᵃⁿᵈ ⁱᵈᵉᵃ'ˢ ᴴʸᵈʳᵃᵏⁱⁿᶻ, ᴴᵃˢ ᶜᵒˡˡᵉᶜᵗᵉᵈ ᵒᵛᵉʳ ᵗʰᵉ ᵖˡᵒᵗ ᵒᶠ ʰᵉʳ ᶠᵃᵛᵒʳⁱᵗᵉ ᶠᵃⁿᵈᵒᵐ ᵒᶠ ᵃˡˡ ᵗⁱᵐᵉ, ᵀᴹᴺᵀ
> 
> Book Two Out Now! 
> 
> This Story Contains #Turtlecest. 
> 
> ໓໐ຖ't likē, ໓໐ຖ't rēค໓.
> 
> After Raphael and Leonardo think that their brothers are dead from a warehouse explosion, they mourn the deaths of what remained, including the lie and betrayal of their father faking his own death to keep them safe. Raph and Leo try to move on, but more than twenty surprises hit them in the face like a ton of bricks when Donnie and Mike return to the lair after a fight for adventure. Feelings begin to bloom over the loss. And drama forms and rains over their heads like a storm.
> 
> Falling In Love With Your Own Sibling Was Never going to be easy-- but getting them to love you back was a challenge-- Only in reality-- they all loved each other just as equal. 
> 
> Read ᵂʰᵃᵗ ᴵˢ Yᵒᵘʳ ᴾᵒⁱˢᵒⁿ to find out what unfolds right before their eyes, and to be there every step of the way as these four brothers discover what true love and sacrifice truly means to have exactly what you want.

ᵂʰᵃᵗ ᴵˢ Yᵒᵘʳ ᴾᵒⁱˢᵒⁿ

Cʰᵃᵖᵗᵉʳ ˣˣᴵˣ

ᵀʰʳᵒᵘᵍʰ Sⁱⁿ ᴬⁿᵈ Sᵉˡᶠ ᴿᵉᵃˡⁱᶻᵃᵗⁱᵒⁿ

[ Raphael ] 

My head was spinning- and the room was actually going around in circles as I tried to stand up to my feet again, hearing Leo laugh his ass off at my stumbles.

I rubbed my head and stared forward at the other two terrapins in the room, but one was glowing a bright purple color. He kind of reminded me of one of those characters off one of those dumb games Mikey always played. 

"Donnie, don't," I heard my little brother say as my head continued to spin and shake.

"Yeah, Donnie, don't!" I grinned, barely getting the words out before a blow to the face knocked me so far back, I landed next to Leo on the floor.

My vision went blurry for a second, and the spinning finally stopped in my head. 

The fuck just hit me?

"You two are goddamn morons!" shouted my genius brother, catching me by surprise and rattling my brain with tension.

"Ugh, what the shell!" I held my head.

"He just totally wiped you out!" Leo poked and pushed me with his foot as I nearly fell forward.

"What?" I questioned looking in his direction, then towards Donnie who was stomping towards me at lightning speed, and before I could even say anything- he twirled and swung the spiked ended stick towards my head and knocked me back again.

I quickly grabbed towards my nose, feeling the gushing amount of blood pouring from the nostrils, and the pain radiating from my head to my fucking mouth.

"You busted my nose!" I shouted, becoming completely sober, and finally getting to my feet, "What the fuck, Donatello!" 

"Donnie! Stop!" Mikey yelled, unable to get our brother's attention, as he swung his spear again and this time I ducked the blow uppercutting him straight in the jaw. 

I growled, cutting my eyes at him, "I don't know what crawled up your ass, but I don't wanna do this, Don!"

Donnie responded with a growl of his own and gave me a warning jump towards me, "You're a coward!"

"And you're a hypocrite!" I shouted, spitting blood from my mouth. 

"You touch him like he's yours like he belongs to you! Like you have some wolfy claim over him!" Donnie stated, launching himself at me, and the only thing stopping him from piercing the end of his spear into my skin was a quick reflex of pulling my Sai's out and blocking his blade. 

"D-Don, what're you talkin' about!" I hissed, trying to shove him back but for some reason, the power behind my brother was too much for me. He was stronger, and the pupils in his eyes were no more but purple glowing globs of light. 

"He's mine, Raphael, mine!" he claimed, Gritting his teeth together, and forcing me back with a strong gust of wind, slamming his spear on the floor as his entire body was glowing and showing off patterns with strange lettering lining his skin. 

"Donatello!" Leo shouted, catching Don's attention as he stood in front of me, with a cut on his lip, "You need to quit this nonsense!"

How the hell did he get hurt? When did he even--

Donnie seemed to cool down a bit but kept his bo tightly gripped in his hand, "When are you gonna learn who you belong to?" he spat.

Mikey ended up at my side and helping me up from the floor, but I couldn't take my eyes off my purple banded brother.

"What're you talking about?" Leo questioned, obviously still a little slurred, but sober minus the seven beers he drank down. 

"You are meant to be with me! Not him!" Donnie yelled, Pointing the sharp ended bit of his bo at me. 

"Donnie," Leo sighed. 

"No! I've been quiet for far too long! Every single one of you, all you do is lie and scheme, and just sit back and don't even think about the facts in all this! Leo, I love you, and if Raph touches you again, I'll take his fucking hands off!" Donnie warned, as a dark blue-purple cloud formed around him, and all the way to his feet and up.

"Donnie, I didn't-- I thought we moved past this!" Leo shouted. 

"So did I!" I spoke up, earning a glare from Leo himself.

The patterns moving along Donnie's body slowly began to fade away and soon, he was brought back to himself and was the Donatello I knew. The hurt in his eyes was void, and obvious to my vision.

"Moved past what? Me loving you, and you not feeling the same?" Donnie croaked, voice sounding hoarse, not seeming so surprised with how he just busted my fucking nose. 

"Donatello, I do!" Leo clarified, stepping forward, but Don refrained and stepped back, and pulled something from the pocket on his backpack, which revealed a piece of paper.

Oh, shit.

"April gave me this," He said with a sniffle and handed out the letter to Leo who carefully grabbed it before I could get a good look at it. I glanced down at Mikey who showed me pouting eyes.

"What is this, another letter?" Leo questioned, unfolding the almost tattered piece of paper. 

"He's coming back," 

I stared at Donnie, who would barely even look at me, "Who?" I then looked at Mikey who continued to frown at me; showing me that he knew exactly who.

"Sensei," Leo muttered, as Mikey disappeared towards the kitchen, leaving me standing alone.

"Sensei is coming back?" I nearly shouted, "This has to be some kind of joke, and whatever just happened with Don definitely has to be! Especially after you pay for all the blood you just spilled on my goddamn hands!"

"You'll get over it," Donnie said, taking a seat on the couch analyzing the weapon he held in his hands. 

"Get over it?" I repeated, "You little slimeball, I'm fucking bleeding!"

"Raphie," I heard Mikey mutter as he placed a hand over my chest, trying to distract me from being so angry but I couldn't bother with the suckin' up crap right now, but the look in his eyes were begging to me.

I sighed and relaxed a bit noticing as Mikey held a damp rag up to my face, Gesturing to clean me off, which I let him and winced when the cloth touched my snout. 

"What even does this mean?" Leo said, sitting on the couch next to Don, still holding the letter, I still haven't read. 

"Means our long lost dad is comin' back for a family reunion," I mutter sarcastically wincing again, "Easy, Mike!" 

He pouts, "Sorry," 

"April knows by the way-" Donnie announced, letting the tension in the air thicken. 

Everyone looked at him, eyes widening at the words coming from our brother's mouth. 

"Don, what?" Mikey questioned, just as baffled as the rest of us. 

He nodded, scrapping the end of his spear along the concreted floor, making what hair I don't have stand up on my arms from the impossibly annoying noise, "What do you mean she knows?" 

"She knows about us!" he answered gesturing to each one of us, as I noticed the key link around his neck, resembling Mikey's. 

My eyes felt like they were gonna pop out of their sockets, "Did you fuckin' tell her?" 

"No, she came to me before she gave me the letter, and we talked, I couldn't just not tell her," he sighed, lowering his head.

I held my own, feeling a sickness forming in my gut.

"Maybe you should have consulted with us before you told her," Leo bickered, letting his eyes fall back to that damn piece of paper.

"What did you want me to do?" he asked, half-amused, "She called me out privately- and asked me a whole bunch of questions about what she saw the other day- and I couldn't just lie and say it was nothing Leo! She saw it with her own two eyes, caught us red-handed!"

"Alright! Enough!" Leo warned, standing up and handing the letter towards me, and to my surprise, I instantly grabbed it and scanned the page with what little I could read in that stupid literary handwriting- 

"Why did you guys get drunk?" Mikey suddenly asked, making me look down at him.

I was unable to answer really-- it just kind of happened. 

"I don't know really," I finally said, watching a frown appear on his face, "We've had alcohol for ages, and that old bastard never let us touch any of it, so I thought why not--"

"You thought why not- let's be irresponsible," Donnie then added in, forcing a scowl on my face, and he smirked at me. I noticed the number of changes he's gone through in the last twenty minutes or so, and one of them was a rebel streak I was gonna knock outta him if he didn't watch his tongue. 

"I didn't want to, but it was nice while it lasted," Leo said, as my eyes flicked towards him. 

"Yeah, he didn't wanna, but I forced him to have one," 

"How many?" Mikey questioned, as I huffed loudly-

"I dunno, like a couple,"

"How many is a couple, Raphael?" he pushed further, beginning to irritate me.

"Ten maybe, fuck! Why is this suddenly so important! Me and Leo are old enough and we definitely don't have a goddamn boss to tell us not to!" I shouted, making Mikey take a step back as the blood-stained rag in his hands was thrown at me. 

"Leo, if anything I'm disappointed in you," Donnie muttered, "Alcohol isn't fun and games, and it'll blind your vision, and make you somebody else!" 

"Oh like you. You think I don't smell that on you, Donatello?" he snickered, still on his feet before Don's face paled.

I watched in suspicion, thinking that the smell in the air remained to be the alcohol, and all I could get up my nose was the taste of iron. My blood masked whatever was in the air in the first place. 

What was he talking about?

"What're you on about now?" Donnie spat; forcing yet another sarcastic sneer from our leader. 

Mikey looked worried, and the number of times he avoided my stares and looks was impossible at this point. 

"Have you forgotten, of all people, the smartest one, and most knowledgable one, that we can smell everything from sweat; fear-- worry," Leo added, pointing at Mikey- "And the scent of heat and shame, it's written all over you, and so is Mike's body!"

Donatello looked away, "I am not ashamed for my actions, Leonardo, but you are of me," 

"You aren't ashamed of mating someone who isn't yours!" Leo shouted, causing Don to come to his feet with a growl. 

"What?" I nearly gasped, staring at Mikey then at Donnie, "You fucked him?" I spat, stepping up to Mikey as he cowered. 

"Raph," he started, but I growled louder than them all, forcing everything else aside.

"Why do you care anyway Raph!" Donnie shouted towards me, "I did it better than you anyway!" 

Anger fueled my veins, and Mikey stepped in between us, placing a hand over my plastron, blocking me from getting to my younger brother, "Please!" Mikey begged, but I had the urge to just shove him aside, but hurting him would make me regret more than just fucking Leo and letting Donnie witness it.

"Enough!" a voice said, startling us all. 

Everyone fell quiet and from the Southwark tunnels, a small shadow appeared under the light. 

Oh.

"Sensei," Leo muttered, watching for the door and beneath the archway as my stomach fell, and every emotion I ever had during this moment disappeared with an instant.

"What is with all of this arguing?" Master Splinter questioned, sounding firm, but calm like he always did when he took things seriously-

Mikey removed his hand from my chest immediately and stared off as Splinter made himself known underneath the lighting and came to greet us.

"W-What're you doing here, Sensei?" Don stammered, asking our father a question we all must have been thinking- as he shut down a situation that was about to get ugly-

"Why- my son, I came here to surprise you!" he smiled, finally reaching us from the tunnels, and giving Donnie a small smile, then switching his direction to me and bowing his head just a bit to greet me, "I know you four aren't the happiest to see me, but I'm here to make up all the time we've lost together, including the lies I've told, if you'd just give me that chance,"

My eyes lingered to Leo who pleaded at me silently to not say or ruin anything about this; "Of course," I muttered.

"Now what is all of this fighting about?" Sensei then questioned, looking between the four of us, and mostly staring at Mikey who couldn't be any more obvious than us with how nervous he was. 

"We were just arguing over the schedule again, Raph tends to be a little difficult when it comes to cleaning the bathrooms," Leo jokes but saves our asses entirely. 

"Are you sure, it didn't seem like that?" Sensei questioned further, making sure it wasn't anything more. 

Donnie forced a pretend sigh and nodded his head, "Yeah, we tend to argue about that a lot- I even bickered about who cleaned the dojo once," he grinned, eyes widening to signal me off and I looked away to soften the awkwardness. 

"Well, I'm glad you boys continued the routine, even after my disappearance, I'm very proud- but now, Leonardo, would you please show me to my room? I need to put away a few things, then we all can catch up," Sensei explained, nudging towards the bag by the door, and Leo nodded quickly while following the eyes of our Master and collected his bag while escorting him to his untouched bedroom.

But as he was walking away- he gave us a knowing look of what was about to happen; and that was that things were gonna change, and go back to us all being closed off with our emotions. 

We simply couldn't let our father find out about everything that had happened in the last few weeks, which began about a month ago now. 

I looked at Mikey and he frowned at me again. 

"What's gonna happen now?" Donnie asked, sounding like him-old-self. 

I shrugged, furrowing a hairless brow and pulling myself together to wipe the rest of the blood off my face and hands, "Sounds like we're all screwed," I muttered before heading for the second floor.

ᵀᵒ ᴮᵉ Cᵒⁿᵗⁱⁿᵘᵉᵈ


	31. ᴮᵃᶜᵏ ᵀᵒ ᴴⁱᵈᵈᵉⁿ ᴾᵃˢˢⁱᵒⁿ

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> " ᵂʰᵃᵗ ᴵˢ Yᵒᵘʳ ᴾᵒⁱˢᵒⁿ "   
ᴵˢ ᵇᵃˢᵉᵈ ᵘᵖᵒⁿ ᶜᵒᵐᵖˡᵉᵗᵉ ᶠⁱᶜᵗⁱᵒⁿ ᵃⁿᵈ ⁱᵈᵉᵃ'ˢ ᴴʸᵈʳᵃᵏⁱⁿᶻ, ᴴᵃˢ ᶜᵒˡˡᵉᶜᵗᵉᵈ ᵒᵛᵉʳ ᵗʰᵉ ᵖˡᵒᵗ ᵒᶠ ʰᵉʳ ᶠᵃᵛᵒʳⁱᵗᵉ ᶠᵃⁿᵈᵒᵐ ᵒᶠ ᵃˡˡ ᵗⁱᵐᵉ, ᵀᴹᴺᵀ
> 
> Book Two Out Now! 
> 
> This Story Contains #Turtlecest. 
> 
> ໓໐ຖ't likē, ໓໐ຖ't rēค໓.
> 
> After Raphael and Leonardo think that their brothers are dead from a warehouse explosion, they mourn the deaths of what remained, including the lie and betrayal of their father faking his own death to keep them safe. Raph and Leo try to move on, but more than twenty surprises hit them in the face like a ton of bricks when Donnie and Mike return to the lair after a fight for adventure. Feelings begin to bloom over the loss. And drama forms and rains over their heads like a storm.
> 
> Falling In Love With Your Own Sibling Was Never going to be easy-- but getting them to love you back was a challenge-- Only in reality-- they all loved each other just as equal. 
> 
> Read ᵂʰᵃᵗ ᴵˢ Yᵒᵘʳ ᴾᵒⁱˢᵒⁿ to find out what unfolds right before their eyes, and to be there every step of the way as these four brothers discover what true love and sacrifice truly means to have exactly what you want.

ᵂʰᵃᵗ ᴵˢ Yᵒᵘʳ ᴾᵒⁱˢᵒⁿ

Cʰᵃᵖᵗᵉʳ ˣˣˣ

ᴮᵃᶜᵏ ᵀᵒ ᴴⁱᵈᵈᵉⁿ ᴾᵃˢˢⁱᵒⁿ

{ A Month After The Return }

[ Michelangelo ]

{ 2010 }

"Mikey we didn't come out here to fool around, let's go!" Raph scolded, causing me to roll my eyes, and continue with my task. 

I pushed a huge lump of snow into one big pile and molded it into a giant ball-shaped type thing and smiled, knowing I was getting there. 

I heard the crunches of footsteps stop in behind me, and I didn't bother looking over my shoulder to see who it was as I lifted another chunk of snow on top of the bigger ball, and repeated the process, hearing a growl.

"Someone is grumpy," I mumbled with a smile stilling on my face, as I pushed my gloved hands into the cold snowy clay then turned around to grab some more, but I smacked into a much taller figure and fell back, and squishing my creation with my butt. 

I squeaked when the wetness soaked through my pants, alerting my tail as I scurried to my feet and grabbing onto whoever I ran into and glaring up at them, who was Leo, my big brother.

"We need to get back home, Mike, now what are you doing?" he asked with a firm but calm tone, mimicking someone I knew. 

"Well, it's more like what was I doing not what am I doing- You caused me to ruin my snowman, butt head!" I whined, and he kept a straight face, not budging at my usual thrown fits.

"Well, you should be more careful and accidents like this won't happen," he said with a forming smile.

"It wouldn't kill us to stick around for a bit- this place is kind of magical," Donatello said, checking his silly watch contraption, and I nodded with a stubborn Hmph. 

"See, D gets it!" I retorted, throwing a finger in Leo's face, but he arched an eyebrow and let out a cool sigh; causing the breath in front of him to create a cloud of fog-

"Leo, you know Splinter wants us back home, we only came out here for those silly Christmas decorations anyway! He trusted us enough--" Raph began, but Leo interrupted with the speak of his name. 

"I know, Raph, but- Mikey wants to stay awhile, so does Donnie, and to be honest-" he said, looking around, letting the snow cover the knitted hat on his head, "It is kind of nice, so, lighten up," 

A pre-mature growl erupted from our angry brother, and he threw the bag he was carrying down on the ground next to Leo, who eyed it than him with a straight face. 

"Fine, when Sensei has our asses, don't come cryin' to me!" Raph said as I rolled a ball of snow in my hand, and threw it directly at him; the snow smacking him right in the face. 

"Bullseye!" I screamed as Donnie laughed, throwing a ball at me, but I ducked it and ran behind Leo with a giggle, "Can't get me now, four-eyes!"

"Mike, You aren't playin' fair, You know?" Raph muttered, smashing a pile of snow over my head, finally getting a laugh out of Leo, making the rest of us burst into our own. 

I ran around Leo and away from them, throwing what little snow I could grab up, and heading into the woods, I fell down with another amusing giggle, followed by my brothers who caught up to me. 

"You guys-- We can make snow angels!" I beamed, letting the excitement roll off of me as I moved my arms and legs in different motions.

"More like, turtle angels, Mikey" corrected Donnie, who was watching me with a smile on his face. He was loving this as much as I was.

"Alright- Alright you two, it's serious time, we really need to get back now," Leo finally said after my second snow angel, er, turtle angel, and my fun was officially over. 

After we finally went back home; I don't remember a time where I had that much fun in the snow, nor did we go back out in it.

{ Present Day }

I nuzzled into the fabric wrapping around the lower half of my face and blinked away the memories flashing through my mind of ten year old me when everything seemed so effortless.

We didn't have to worry about anything- literally anything but now, now times were different. We were different- I was. 

I watched as the snow fell, the cold almost swallowing me, but I didn't mind it; it felt natural, felt nice, and numbed what was truly on my mind.

"Better get going Michelangelo," Leo mentioned, peering next to me, "It was a false alarm," 

I glanced up at him and sighed through my nose, "Waste of time," 

"Yeah, I know, but Sensei thought it was--"

"Sensei always thinks best, bro, that's all I ever hear out of you, or did," I muttered, staring up at the sky-

He huffed, "Mike, I know you're upset about Christmas, but this year just wasn't the year for us, now let's go," he said, grasping my arm to pull me on but I frowned and stared up at him.

"It's not even about Christmas, Leo- it didn't care to concern me, I just- I miss us," I said so quietly I didn't even think Leo heard me clearly but I know he did. 

His face went straight but sad; "Yeah, well, I miss us too- Raph has gone back to how he used to be- and Donnie just isolates himself with work; he even refused to go with us tonight- he avoids me," 

Avoids Me.

I looked down, "I miss what was before, what we had, Leo- things aren't good, they aren't the same, I can barely go back home and just pretend everything is fine- I want so much, crave it!" 

"You think I don't, Mike?" Leo assumed as I clenched my fist under the large coat draping over me, fighting back any tears that attempted to escape.

"Yeah, well, fighting this battle is getting harder by the minute! Why can't we just tell Splinter!" I half yelled, surprising my eldest brother.

"You know we can't do that- He won't approve!" he began.

"And how do you know?" I asked, fully facing him now.

"Because, Mikey- he just won't! His own sons, doing these things together, I don't think you understand how happy I was when I found out that he didn't hear anything we were arguing about that night!" he sighed walking away but I followed, as the snow crunched beneath my shoes. 

"Yeah, and he didn't even bother to ask why Raph was bleeding-- but that's beside the point! Something has to be done, it has to, Leo," I pleaded, grabbing his hand and forcing him to look at me. 

He sighed, "Mikey- can we just get home and out of the snow, You know I hate being in the cold, now let's go," he demanded, pulling away and jumping to the other building- leaving me standing there.

I knew that it was gonna take forever, and the more that the months passed, the more miserable I grew, the less fun I was having with keeping an even bigger secret than confessing how I truly felt to my mate in the first place. 

Seeing Raph admit his own was a highlight of my life; and so warming that not even lava could burn away what I felt for him. 

I waited years for something like that to happen; for him to finally swallow what ego he was so highly obsessed with, and just talk to me, and admit to these things that burdened him the moment he first kissed me.

From then on, to my private times, until he took my virginity- which was so hard to think about now, nothing could change it- or change me, but our father returning changed him back to the Raph I feared and the Raphael I knew most of all; when now he's just full of secrets; regrets and despair. 

I eventually swallowed what pride was left in my throat and followed Leo back to the lair. It wasn't long until we returned- considering we had only traveled but two miles for a false alarm report from Donnie's scanners. 

The word's from Leo's lips on how Don was basically avoiding him stung at my heart- at my skin, because, for some reason, I guess I knew how he felt. 

I felt neglected, alone even; because since that night- Raph hadn't even looked in my direction, though I had him promise me to never touch a single drop of alcohol again, which he kept to. 

The fun in all this was wearing off and coming down from the clouds as we knew it- and the dead creeping silence that lingered in the lair haunted me all the same, especially after Leo and Raph returned their beds to their room when Splinter wasn't there. 

The nest no longer existed, and even with the selfish thoughts in my mind, I wished our father never returned. 

I wished he never came back because I got used to my new life. For once I felt like I wasn't hiding in the shadows. 

But here I am, back to square one. 

Day One, hiding it all inside, all over again.

"How was the trip, my sons?" Splinter asked once we walked through the door and I was hanging up my coat and dusting the snow off of my head. 

"It was a false alarm, Sensei," Leo informed him, making me silently growl to myself, "We think it was just one of those silly automatic sensor alarms,"

"Well, if I had known of this false report- I wouldn't have sent you on such a wild goose chase, I apologize, to the both of you," he said, but with a caring smile and nod of his head. 

"What went on while we were away? Anything to report?" Leo questioned further, as I stood next to him, biting my tongue, but my mind was drifting to the movement behind our father. 

Raphael was back to doing his usual set-ups and lift ups with weights and all that sporty junk, which didn't interest me until I watched him actually do them. 

He always chose the biggest ones to carry as well, and watching him lift them, as the veins popped on his biceps sent me off to another world where nothing else, except maybe food. could get my attention. 

I eventually tuned out the conversation my father and brother were sharing and just gazed at my muscle head for a sibling- I could hear every grunt or breath of air that left his mouth when he lifted his arms up and down and struggled occasionally on the bench. 

I heard the music too, some heavy shit that I knew he always liked when he worked out. 

He was truly something when he did these type of things, especially with all of the sweating and the--

"Mikey!" Leo half yelled, finally catching my attention.

I blinked, looking at him kind of dazed. 

"I asked you a question, Michelangelo," Sensei clarified.

I itched the side of my head, pretending like I actually gave a shit; "Uh, sorry what was it again?"

By the sounds of a familiar, but disappointing sigh, Sensei was officially annoyed with me for not listening or paying attention, "I asked are you still Upset about Christmas?- We can always-"

"Nah," I hummed, letting my eyes drift to my brother again, then back to Master Splinter, "It's cool, no big deal, it's just a big holiday and all," I grinned, sarcastically- earning a scolding glare from Leo. 

I saw Raph over Splinter's shoulder for the third time, and he was sitting up, actually staring at me from across the room. 

I flushed deeply the moment I noticed, but couldn't bring myself to look away until Leo nudged me, telling me to knock it off, and I rolled my eyes.

"I am sorry once again for the false report my sons, I'll be sure to let Donatello know to be more aware," Sensei then said, nearly angering me.

"It wasn't his fault dad, he's uh, been going through some things, especially since Japan, so you have to understand his blindness," Leo defended but knowing he made a mistake bringing Japan into this conversation.

"You still have yet to tell me what happened there, I know of your visit to the temple, but not what happened after and such,"

I cursed at my brother in my head and wanted to make a getaway from him, but I couldn't just walk off without being questioned about that either. 

"I will tell you eventually- but for now, We are still trying to move past it- from the horrors, we witnessed there," Leo nodded.

"I understand- Japan can be a horrible place at times, and even at others it can hold the upmost beauty in it all, so don't worry I won't push further, Just know I am very proud that you and your brothers visited the homelands," Master Splinter beamed with such happiness that nearly blew me away- but nothing could be said about it until he disappeared from the lounge to return to his own room. 

I breathed out a thick amount of air and shoved at Leo's arm, "Why did you mention Japan, dude?"

"What else was I meant to say? I can't just say Don is depressed because he can't do what he really wants to do!" Leo retorted, walking away from me.

"Which is what exactly?" I questioned, following him, again.

Leo huffed and turned to lean down only an inch, "This discussion is over," 

"Hmph," I whined and turned to see Raph coming this way- and right about that time, I shrunk an inch or two. 

"What was zat all about?" he questioned, wiping the dampness from his forehead, causing me to swallow thickly-

God, I can't take this right now.

"We were just talking about Donnie," I finally answered as he eyed me, up and down.

"What about him?"

"Nothing bad- just how he's been so busy here lately-" I squeaked, getting a little nervous for some reason.

"Huh, I think we all know why- I still haven't forgiven him for the busted nose, or you," he said with a bit of a smirk.

"Me, what'd I do?" 

"You know whatcha did," Raph sneered, walking past me to go into the kitchen where Leo was sitting at the table, eating cereal. 

I stood there for a moment but followed anyway and sat next to Leo, crossing my arms, "So, what's for dinner?" 

"Not sure, Donnie always makes something- but I don't see him coming out of his lab anytime soon," Leo answered, digging his spoon into the Chex mix.

"Why don't you just talk to him?" I questioned as Raph turned around.

"Why don't you just leave him alone?" he spat.

"What's your problem, dude?" I spat back, earning a growl from him, but I didn't back down. 

"I'll show you what my problem is, You little shit!" He almost yelled, coming across the table, but Leo shoved him back and stood up-

"You need to cool it!" he warned, pointing a finger and sitting back down. 

"And you need to watch where you're pointing your fucking fingers, Leo, I'll take you both down and won't think twice about it!" Raph threatened, as I sunk further in my seat; frowning a deep crimson on my face.

"God, are you guys fighting again?" asked Donnie as he suddenly entered the room, rubbing his eyes.

"Donnie," I muttered, knowing he just saved the day-

"Where have you been all day?" Leo asked, as Don tilted his head at him, obviously still in sleep mode.

"Sleeping- where else," he answered, filling a cup full of that brown stuff I hated the smell of. 

"Well, we needed you out there today- but you didn't wanna come," Leo continued, pushing his bowl away as Raph took a seat near me, making me feel paranoid. 

"It was a false alarm, why would you need me?" he asked, turning to face us.

I blinked, "How'd you know that?" 

"Yeah, how exactly did you know, Donatello, and why didn't you phone us when you found out?" Leo questioned, standing from the table. 

Donnie stared blankly at the way Leo was acting and just sipped from his mug- "Because, it was all apart of my little plan to get you guys outta here, so I could have a laugh,"

I frowned, "D, why would you do that?" I questioned, making Donnie notice the effect on me, and his eyes softened, reminding me of another memory going through my head. 

{ 2006 }

"Give it back!" I whined, trying to reach up on my tiptoes to grab the soldier like toy dangling from Raph's hand. 

"Nope, it's mine, now, Mike!" he beams sluggishly and continues to dangle the toy and holds it up higher as I jump for it and he laughs.

"Come on, Raph, Give Mikey a turn with it; it is the only thing we got for Christmas after all," Leo said, sounding a little less high pitched than usual. 

"I haven't even gotten to play with it yet!" Raph defends and continues to hold the toy up in the air as he walks away to fiddle with it in the corner.

"I wanna play with the soldier!" I began to cry as Donnie enters the room, flipping a page in some book that had that big fat red man on the front of it. 

"Correction, it's actually a nutcracker, Mikey- see," Don said coming over to show me the page in the book, and my eyes instantly lit up at all the fun images happening on the paper, displaying words I couldn't understand, but the pictures sure looked funny and really colorful.

"Woah, that's pretty cool!" I gushed, as Donnie sat next to me on the ground and I curled up by him, watching as he flipped the pages, and reading off things from the book that just seemed so great that I got sleepy just from hearing the words coming from my big brother's mouth.

"The Elf learned a valuable lesson after breaking one of Santa's toys and not telling him about it- but afterward, all was forgiven, and everyone lived on happily and Santa even made sure the Elf got something special in his Christmas gift as well as all the children in the world," Donnie read, as his voice began to fade into the back of my mind, as I was dozing off with my head on his shoulder. I felt an arm wrap around me, sleep hovering me, and dipping me into the deepest of pools, with voices echoing all around me.

{ Present Day }

I blinked, staring at the old dusty book- the ridges on the cover fading away and tattered along the spine from water damage. 

I remember this like it was yesterday-- Even if I was five and still learning the ways to share. This story always put me to sleep when my brothers were having a hard time with me, including my father, who always tried with his own made-up ones, and while trying to get me to sit still to focus my mind on meditating and finding peace.

I placed the old book back in the box and slipped it back on the shelf where it belonged. 

I felt as if I was the only one who remembered things like this anymore; who went back to old times to earn a smile on my face while in the real world, I couldn't even force one.

I used to be just goofy- silly Mikey with his head in the clouds, but now, I was full of emotion and secrets that couldn't be told unless I expressed them with action.

I knew that my brothers were in bed by now, and Splinter went way after dinner after we had to end yet another fight between each other to not worry or concern our father. 

My head was full and needed to be cleansed. I didn't know what I had to do, but I'd find it to be stress-free one way or another. 

I padded into the kitchen silently and walked over to one of the cabinets connecting with the fridge and looked inside, where a few single bottles of random beverages sat.

I assumed one was whiskey- all because I recognized the labeling- so I grabbed that one first along with one that had a grey label and something that started with an L. 

I sat those on the table, and grabbed a plastic cup and filled one half of it with the first drink I chose and mixed the other in, almost wanting to back out of this idea, but seeing Raph and Leo after they got drunk- it was sort of welcoming to see them so happy and lifeless all at the same time. 

They acted as if they didn't have a care in the world; and I wanted to recreate what they had for each other on that very night; even if I sort of done something really bad before I got home, and now I'm being a total hypocrite for telling Raph to not drink- but hey- it's my life. 

Right- My Life.

I poured in a little more of that L named one and debated a second because of the sharp smell filling my nostrils so much that it burned. 

I stare into the cup, still hesitating and contemplating- and for a split second, I don't think and say Yolo.

I tipped my head back, letting the smelly liquid pour onto my tongue, and at first, the taste didn't come to me, but when I swallowed it- it burned more than it did with my nose and I coughed harshly clamping my hand over my mouth.

"E-Ew!" I gagged, coughing a second time, but quieter. 

After I finally got my breath back, and the burning finally went away- I debated again on another sip but cringed at the fire in my stomach, and the more I drank, the more it went away- along with every thought that swarmed my head for the last time today- 

I let out a small burp, and made myself another cup of the crap I mixed up and felt a little bouncy on my toes- and a little wobbly which wasn't a new feeling for me, but the numbing thumping in my bones was.

I gulped the second round with no problem and started to giggle, letting the burning in my tummy finally evaporate like some space alien. 

I nearly knocked over the taller bottle and burst into laughter, but reminding myself to be quieter the next time, and the urge to just dance took over me, and I held the two clanking bottles in hand and swirled around the room with a big grin on my face, and ended up putting the two away and dipping from the kitchen, where I made my way to the stairs, nearly falling as I climbed my way up to the second floor, and making it thankfully to my own room. 

Or At least- I thought.

I quickly found the door, as my vision was tumbling down like bricks on top of my head, making the room spin. 

I found my way to the bed after removing whatever was restricting me down to my belt and I rolled into the blankets and snuggled my way into the mattress pushing against something hard, but I just assumed that it was my mind playing tricks on me, and I cuddled deeper into the object that I figured was my pillow.

Until it moved.

"What're ya doing in my bed?" asked a raspy voice, and I blinked with a flutter and looked up at the object in front of me until all came clear and I saw olive eyes staring back at me. 

"Raphie," I muttered, but with a slur in my voice, along with a small giggle. I reached up to caress his unmasked face with a faint smile covering my face.

He instantly, of course, went to grab my hand and push it away- "Get outta my bed, and go to your own!" 

"But-" I laughed quietly trying to touch him again, feeling quite bouncy still, but so ambitiousness.

I watched his face twist as he sniffed the air, "Have you been drinkin', Mikey?"

"No, well- maybe a little, makes me feel really excited," I grinned, watching him with lidded eyes as he sat up with a gritted growl. 

"You're not even old enough and you drank- what the hell did ya even drink in the first place?" he questioned, sounding obviously harsh. 

I shrugged playfully and went to sit up as well, "I dunno, some yellow stuff, Oh! And uh, somethin' with a funny L shaped tag-" I slurred, Grinning at the led head. 

He huffed loudly- "Fuck, Mikey! You drank Liquor! The hell is the matter with you!" 

"Mm," I hummed, "Stop yelling- hurts my head," I moved up, almost sitting on my knees, being fully undressed. 

"I'm not even yellin'- You're totally trashed! Let's get you to your bed before you wake up the entire lair," he said grabbing for my arm, but I pulled away and whined. 

"No, I wanna be with you, even though I don't remember coming in here, but I'm not leaving- can't make me, no, no sir, Mr. Bond," I cackled like a maniac, and he looked at me fully annoyed. 

"Jesus," he sighed, "Look just lie back alright- how many did ya have?" 

I didn't move, and tilted my head back, "Mm," I hummed again, biting my lip, hearing Raph's breath hitch, "How many of wha?" 

"Drinks, dammit!"

I let my head fall back as I leaned on my elbows, "Ooh, oh, I dunno, maybe four, mixed it with something else too," 

I heard him curse something vile, and he grabbed my arm again, trying to make me lie back, but I giggled again and fought against him, "Ya need to lie back, I don't need you throwin' up in my fuckin' bed!"

"Lie with me," I muttered with a small smile, causing him to stop pushing and he just looked at me with a blank expression. 

"Mike," he started but I pulled myself closer, connecting my chest with his, feeling my heart already thudding against my rib cage. 

"I miss you, Raph," 

"Miss me?" he repeated, hoving over me now, knowing I had him right where I wanted him. 

"Miss us," I leaned in closer, grasping both of his shoulders now, and I felt the blankets knot up underneath me, signaling how tight he was gripping them.

"We can't," he breathed, letting hot air flow on my face, waking me up, "You know that," he added in.

I sighed heavily and ran my hand down his arm, and over the muscles tensing there, where I moved it to caress the back of his neck and pull him in closer. Too close.

"Please," I whispered, sounding pathetically drunk and dumb for wanting it this bad, but I needed a reminder as my buzz was wearing off. I needed to feel it again, what I had before. 

I pulled Raph's mouth against mine, igniting the same fire that fueled my veins weeks before what happened in Japan.

He hissed into my mouth from the touch and I moaned in response, forcing my lips against his and pressing my one free hand to his plastron, and pushing him back, where he wrapped an arm around my waist and pulled me into his lap, reminding me of that first time, reminding me of everything I ever felt right from the beginning-

"Mikey-" he rasped, trying to pull apart from me, but I didn't stop to speak or ask what was the matter, I just kept kissing him, and rolling my hips into his lap, making myself whine and churr just like I always did when he touched me, touched me better than anyone else.

His hands found their way to my behind and gave it and my tail a sharp squeeze, causing me to cry out into Raph's mouth, but the tangle of our tongues is what muffled most of my noises.

My heart pounded harder against my chest and the heat rising down below made my head spin more than it was climbing those damn stairs. 

"R-Raphie," I panted, finally pulling myself from his face, and he looked at me with want- need and something dark I couldn't quite understand right now, all I knew was that I felt really tired; sick even. 

Oh no, not now.

"What's the matter?" he questioned, keeping his hands right where they were, holding me up just underneath my shell, also keeping me steady-

"I don't feel all that- great," I stammered, as I leaned my forehead against his, and putting my arms around his neck. 

I felt a sigh at the side of my ear and Raphael moved until he was lying down again, but with me at his side, and arms still around his neck. 

"I've gotcha, Just don't throw up on me," he whispered, rubbing circles on the edges of my shell.

"No promises, Raphie," I grinned sleepily- feeling the warm thuds of his heart against the palm of my hand, all while letting my eyes slip closed, but beforehand, I felt Raph lean down and place a lingering kiss to the front of my forehead, and I nuzzled closer to him, letting a night of dreamless sleep take me to the clouds,

Reminding me of my childhood,

Yet again. 

ᵀᵒ ᴮᵉ Cᵒⁿᵗⁱⁿᵘᵉᵈ


	32. Sᵃᵐᵉ ᴬˢ ᴵᵗ ᴱᵛᵉʳ ᵂᵃˢ

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> " ᵂʰᵃᵗ ᴵˢ Yᵒᵘʳ ᴾᵒⁱˢᵒⁿ "   
ᴵˢ ᵇᵃˢᵉᵈ ᵘᵖᵒⁿ ᶜᵒᵐᵖˡᵉᵗᵉ ᶠⁱᶜᵗⁱᵒⁿ ᵃⁿᵈ ⁱᵈᵉᵃ'ˢ ᴴʸᵈʳᵃᵏⁱⁿᶻ, ᴴᵃˢ ᶜᵒˡˡᵉᶜᵗᵉᵈ ᵒᵛᵉʳ ᵗʰᵉ ᵖˡᵒᵗ ᵒᶠ ʰᵉʳ ᶠᵃᵛᵒʳⁱᵗᵉ ᶠᵃⁿᵈᵒᵐ ᵒᶠ ᵃˡˡ ᵗⁱᵐᵉ, ᵀᴹᴺᵀ
> 
> Book Two Out Now! 
> 
> This Story Contains #Turtlecest. 
> 
> ໓໐ຖ't likē, ໓໐ຖ't rēค໓.
> 
> After Raphael and Leonardo think that their brothers are dead from a warehouse explosion, they mourn the deaths of what remained, including the lie and betrayal of their father faking his own death to keep them safe. Raph and Leo try to move on, but more than twenty surprises hit them in the face like a ton of bricks when Donnie and Mike return to the lair after a fight for adventure. Feelings begin to bloom over the loss. And drama forms and rains over their heads like a storm.
> 
> Falling In Love With Your Own Sibling Was Never going to be easy-- but getting them to love you back was a challenge-- Only in reality-- they all loved each other just as equal. 
> 
> Read ᵂʰᵃᵗ ᴵˢ Yᵒᵘʳ ᴾᵒⁱˢᵒⁿ to find out what unfolds right before their eyes, and to be there every step of the way as these four brothers discover what true love and sacrifice truly means to have exactly what you want.

ᵂʰᵃᵗ ᴵˢ Yᵒᵘʳ ᴾᵒⁱˢᵒⁿ

Cʰᵃᵖᵗᵉʳ ˣˣˣᴵ

Sᵃᵐᵉ ᴬˢ ᴵᵗ ᴱᵛᵉʳ ᵂᵃˢ

[ Raphael ]

Blood-

So much blood- everywhere and on my hands, and the stained orange material wrapping around my digits made me sick. 

I glanced at my fingers, and carefully stroked, and gripped the mask- the fabric I knew who it belonged to- and inches from my feet- the corpse of my baby brother, choking on his own blood.

I was stuck- stuck here staring at him, not being able to help him- stop this from happening or me losing him like this.

I couldn't move my feet or lift my legs, or swing my arms- things were moving so slowly around me, and the faint cries of my mate along with my heartbeat pounding in my ears was fading into the back of my mind like something I didn't care about. 

Which only I did.

I couldn't shed a tear, and I was struggling emotionally to reach out to him. I could feel the wetness in my eyes but nothing came- and the crack of my voice as I watched his eyes roll back into his skull forced me on my knees. 

"M-Mikey" was all I could get out before my eyes slipped closed and everything turned into one giant black cloud, carrying me away--

I rose up from my bed in a panic, covered in a layer of sweat.

I looked over to my right and saw my brother, sleeping soundly and I let out a large huff of air in relief, which made him stir, and his eyes fluttered and looked up at me with a blank stare. 

Sometimes I'd rather him not catch me lookin' at him; but all the times I have him, I'd let this one slide for once. 

"Kinda rude to stare," he said with a small yawn and stretch. 

"Says you," I croaked, sounding off, "How you feelin' today?"

He shrugged and sat up, "I dunno, my head still feels a bit heavy- I'm never drinking again," 

"No, You're not- so don't ever let me catch ya doin' it" I warned, falling back against my pillow, replaying my dream over and over in my head. 

"That goes for you too then," he grinned a warm smile, reminding me of just how much he made my heart flutter when I saw him show teeth.

I nodded my head in agreement knowing that the last time I bothered to drink- would actually be the last time, "It's a deal,"

"You alright?" he asked scooting closer.

I rested an arm behind my head and tilted at him, debating- "Had a dream about ya,"

"A dream?" he beamed, leaning into me, making my skin burn, "What kind of dream?"

"Not the kind you're thinkin'!" I quickly added then looked away from him, "It was uh, it was pretty bad,"

"Bad?" he questioned raising an eye ridge, "Did I die or something?"

He nailed it.

Of Course.

"Yeah," I answered after a moment of silence. 

"Oh," he whispered with a concerned expression forming on his face, "How?"

"Oh, like how did ya die?- I dunno really- I just saw you- just lyin' there, blood was everywhere- your blood, and it was on me, and I watched you die, right in front of me," I said with a light voice, and for once, I almost sounded broken. 

"Raph," I heard Mikey sigh and he hugged into my side making me tense up at the feeling-

I leaned into him minus how much I wasn't really used to the contact- it had been a real' long time since I was able to touch Mikey like I did last night and all the memories and emotions flooded my body like a hurricane bustin' down my door. 

I was sort of at ease again, and for once, I had him all to myself, though I still had my anger for Donnie and him and for what they did- But I couldn't say much, because we were all kind of even at the end of the day- which makes me laugh in a way- 

A smile curled at my lips and I pressed into my little brother more, and held him against me, earning a small giggle from him.

"What?" I then asked him, leaning away to get a good look at his small face. 

He shook his head and pushed the palm of his hand against my chest- "I still don't remember coming in here," 

I raised an eye ridge at him, "Well ya did, and we nearly did nasty things,"

"Nearly?" he pouted, "Bummer,"

I chuckled grasping his hip, "You gotta get outta my bed before Splinter comes up here," 

"We have training today- I don't think I wanna," he whined as I sat up and got out of bed, pulling on the same pair of pants I had on yesterday.

"Yeah, training and a hangover don't really go good together- but the real question is, where'd ya put that key you had around your neck?" 

He glanced down, "Oh, that- it's in my room,"

"Don't lose it- You know what Leo said," I reminded him, slipping on my mask as he got out of bed. 

"I kind of like you without that thing you know?" he mentioned, smiling up at me as I tied the knot behind my head. 

"Yeah, I know ya do, but I'm not gonna give you the satisfaction as I did back in Japan," I grinned, leaning down to connect my mouth with his, and hearing his breath hitch just before I touched him. 

But right as I pressed my lips to his, my door slid open and Leo made himself known by clearing his throat.

"The hell do you think you're doing?" he asked on clenched teeth as I slowly moved away from Mike's face.

"What's it look like?" I grimaced, leaning in for another kiss, that Mikey totally dodged, and ran in behind Leo with a light giggle.

Leo waved him off and cringed, "You need to bathe, Mikey!" he said, covering his snout with a large hand.

"What?" Mikey asked, staring up at our older brother, "I don't smell!"

"Kinda still smell like Alcohol," I said, snapping my belt around my hips. 

Leo glared at me, then at our little brother, "You've been drinking?" 

"I-I had a few," he muttered, pulling on his fingers. 

"Step off, Leo, he's fine now," I defend, staring directly at him. 

"You're only nineteen, Mikey!" Leo scolded, making Mikey frown, "Don't ever do that again!" he pointed as I glared at him. 

"I said, step off, bro! I took care of him last night- so, he's fine now," I added in, making Leo look at me with a grimace. 

"You two are lucky to not have been seen doing whatever you've been doing in here, now get downstairs, Splinter wants to speak with us about something-" 

"We haven't been doing anything! And even if we were, it'd be none of your damn business!" I retorted, reminding myself that I need to quiet down, causing a large sigh to come from Leo, and he looked away-

"Look," he began, looking between us both, and lowering his voice, "I know how hard it is, believe me, but please, be more careful and more cautious-- I'll see you two down there," Leo explained, leaving me and Mikey in silence. 

"Raph," Mikey sighed.

"Go get cleaned up, alright? We don't need Sensei askin' about why his youngest tot smells like a bar," I grinned, and he smiled up at me again.

"Can I use your bathroom then?"

I nod, sitting on my bed to put on my shoes, "Just don't make a mess, will ya?" 

"I can only try," he said before surprising me with a chaste kiss, leaving me wanting more, but I simply couldn't ask for it. 

It had been more than two months- and working out a lot seems to help with the irritation and cravings for sex, which always ended up leading me to become more and more angered with everyone, including my father.

I wished the bastard didn't return. 

After I watched Mikey disappear, I went downstairs to grow some distance between us and I was stopped by April sliding into Donnie's lab. 

"April, what're you doing here?" I questioned, keeping my voice down, and her head snapped in my direction, being a little surprised. 

"Oh, Hi, Raphael, I'm here because of Don- I wanted him to be kind of like a doctor for the baby- his requests as well," she smiled.

"Doctor? You want him to be your doctor?" I asked, resting my hands on my hips.

"Of course, I trust him more than these phonies nowadays," 

"How is uh, how is all that goin' anyway?" I pushed further, sounding a little nervous.

She beamed at me and ran a hand over her bloating belly- making me wonder how that sort of thing happens-- though I knew the science behind it all, and it was all just incredible, to be honest. 

But now, even I was starting to sound like Donnie.

"It's good- um, but Casey likes to hover a lot so, that's one reason why I'm here- and he mentioned to me to tell you he said hi," 

I rolled my eyes, "If that nut job wants to say hi to me, then tell him to come do it himself," I grinned, earning a bright smile from April. 

"Actually- um, since he isn't here, would you wanna come with me to check the ultrasound?" she asked with curiosity shining in her eyes.

"The ultra what?" I blabbed, earning a giggle from her, and she grabbed my hand and led me into my brother's lab, telling me to shut the door behind me, which I did.

"What're you doing in here?" asked Don as he raised his goggles from his face and gave April a quick nod and smile before she hopped up on the desk-chair thingy.

"Well, it's nice to see you too little bro- and April uh, wanted me to see this thing with her since Casey isn't here," I explained, rubbing at the back of my neck, earning a skeptical look from him.

"He called it a thing-" Don breathed turning in his chair to turn on a small screen that looked totally brand new.

"Where'd you get all this junk anyway?" I questioned, following along the room and looking at everything-

"One, It's not junk- and two, I've just been busy- preparing specifically for a moment like this," he explained, fiddling with his glasses and typing something on that small screen.

"What- preparing to be our friends, Doctor?" I chuckled, standing by the table April was sitting on and she nudged me playfully.

"Don knows a lot about this stuff, Raph- a lot more than a real Doctor ever will," she smiled, making Donnie blush an obvious crimson. 

"Fine, let's get on with it then- Sensei wants to speak with us about somethin' and I don't need Leo on me about it again, he already caught me and Mikey--" I paused, almost forgetting that April sort of knew about our little secret. 

Donnie lowered his eyes at me and continued typing on that damn keyboard.

"Were you and Mikey gettin' down a dirty?" April teased, flooding my worries clean. 

I laughed, "Oh, no, we were just um, sharin' a kiss really- and he sort of walked in on us, and told us to be more cautious,"

"Cautious of what?" April questioned as Donnie prepared some sort of jelly on a stick connecting to that little television. 

He sighed at the mention of Leo, and I frowned a bit- just knowing what was going through his head, and he knew what was on mine. 

"Lift your shirt for me, please?" He quietly asked, making me even more confused with what this was all about. 

April did as she was asked, and pulled up the bottom of her shirt to reveal her stomach.

Her belly button was poking out and it was obvious that a human was in there, and there was something about it that was kind of alluring and beautiful even. 

"You didn't answer my question, led head," April interrupted, staring up at me as she lied her head back. 

"Oh um," I started, not knowing where to really begin with an explanation, "Master Splinter doesn't really know about us," 

"You haven't told him?" she frowned.

"We're afraid to, April," Donnie then spoke up, catching us both off guard as he pressed the gadget against her stomach, making the screen light up with some sort of image that was moving and my eyes nearly popped out of my head.

"Afraid of what?" she pushed, and Donnie didn't answer, and neither did I; as we silently hoped that she'd just move on and pay more attention to what's actually important here. 

"Woah, that's uh, that's pretty cool," I carried on, motioning to the screen with the point of my finger, earning a glare from April, but she looked towards Donnie, where his eyes were practically glued to the monitor. 

"Is that it? Oh my gosh!" she practically squeaked, making me even more curious about this little thing on the TV screen.

"That'd be the head- arms, legs, er- he's gonna be a kicker," Donnie said, making April smile so huge I thought her face was gonna split into. 

"A boy?" she questioned with another shriek. 

Donnie answered with a nod, moving the stick over her stomach to change the angle and show off a better view of the kid. 

"Wouldn't it be kind of better for Casey to be here?" I suggested, and April frowned at the mention of him.

"Well, I didn't actually tell him what I was coming here for, Plus- I wanted to surprise him because I specifically told Don I wanted to know the gender," she explained, though sounding a little sad.

"It's alright- I thought it was a good idea," Donnie reassured with a small smile, as the screen made a beeping noise, and suddenly it was printing paper out of the side, and Don snatched the long script of images that all looked the same, "Make sure to show him these when you're back home,"

I watched as April took the pictures and we both saw her tear up from the sight- "He's gonna be so happy about this!" 

I stood back, waiting patiently- though I knew Leo was gonna drill me for this; But somehow, I didn't care. 

"Congratulations!" Donnie said, removing his goggles after turning off the small screen. 

"Y-Yeah, we're real' happy for ya," I quietly agreed, earning a strange look from my brother, but he continued to smile for our friend, who we knew we probably wouldn't see again. 

She glanced up and handed out one of the images from the line of copies she held in her hand, "Here," she smiled again.

Staring at the picture in her fingers, I was confused, but yet so honored and something deep inside of me could see this child living large one day- and even being as close with his mother as he would be us. 

I took the photograph and watched the image come to life in my head, over and over again, turning monochromic. 

"Be sure to start elevating your feet with high pillows, or maybe warm soaks in the tub, I've uh, made you a list of what isn't good, and what is for the baby- and believe me, there are some pretty good meals in here, and not all are healthy- I know we all have a sweet tooth now and again," Donnie explained, holding up a piece of paper to April who was listening closely to him, but Donnie who was also seeming to shine like a fuckin' star over all this. 

After April gave Donnie a quick hug and said goodbye to us both, she left me and Don alone in his lab and once the door closed, I turned to him with a wandering eye. 

"What?" he finally asked, turning to his computer monitor and cleaning up his area, "Is there something I can do for you too, Raph?"

"I know we're supposed to be happy for her, but aren't you just a little bit upset that she's moving away to someplace we never fuckin' go to?" I said walking around his desk and placing the picture in front of him, "Doesn't it bother you?"

He glanced up at me, then quickly looked away rearranging papers around on the hard surface.

"Even if I was, Raphael, there isn't a thing we can do about it!" he said raising his voice but sounding calm. 

"Yeah, I know, but you could at least show you care, but no, fuck no, here you are, hidin' away from every single one of us, pretendin' like you don't feel anything!" I accused, throwing my hands up.

Don looked up at me again, warning me with the glare in his eyes, "You think I'm not hurting by all of this? With April- us, God, me and Leo! I miss him!" he said with a croak in his voice. 

I hooded my eyes and looked away- 

"You're lucky that someone like Michelangelo doesn't care, minus the rules that Fearless is laying down for us!" he then added in, rendering me silent. 

I then shook my head, "You don't gotta obey!"

"Says you!" he accused, making me step back, "I know what you do, you think I don't? You're constantly trying to distract yourself from thinking about it!"

"And what am I thinking about, Donatello?" I questioned nearly raising my voice, keeping a low leveled tone, but with my words, I was In Donnie's face. 

His eyes widen in surprise the closer I got to him, and once he was pressed against his desk, he gripped the edge, "I-I um, can you just-"

"No, since you know so fuckin' much brainiac, then I wanna know what you think is inside my head!" I said on gritted teeth, as he avoided any eye contact with me. 

"Y-You just- um, You want Mikey just as badly as I want Leo!" he answered, still avoiding my eyes. 

I clenched my jaw and leaned forward, "You know nothin', Donnie!" I spat. 

"Then get away!" he pushed, shoving at my chest, "We aren't physically supposed to be near one another when we're like this, Raphael!" 

I inhaled deeply when I heard the door to the lab open, and there stood Leo with a scowl on his face, "Raph, I told you to be downstairs almost thirty minutes ago, where the hell have you been?" 

I slowly backed up with a sigh and lowered my head, "I was helpin' April with somethin' -not a big deal," I shrugged. 

"April?" he rose, "She was here, what for?" Leo questioned, looking in Donnie's direction.

"She was um, she was here for an ultrasound,"

I watched the tension grow between these two in a matter of seconds and I needed to get out before it got any worse, "Whatever, I need you both in the dojo, now. Sensei wants to speak with us about some things, and mentioned that it was very important,"

Leo then turned and left us in silence.

I tilted my head at my younger brother and watched his face turn red as he stood up straight and went for the door, where I soon followed and kept quiet for the remainder of the time until I saw Mikey sitting quietly on his knees next to Leo.

God, he looked so innocent like that-

"Sit, Raph," Leo demanded and I obeyed only seconds afterward as I took my seat by him, keeping myself as quiet as I possibly could.

Soon Donnie took his own seat- followed by Master Splinter who entered the room moments before I came in.

As the room fell quiet- everyone sort of kept to themselves until our father spoke up and greeted us with his charm.

Ugh.

Sensei bowed and smiled at the four of us, "I'm glad that we all can finally have some time together, and talk about something I've been wanting to ask about for ages-- and it's about your Chi," 

"As you already know, Sensei- Don, and Mike have already received their gifts, neither I or Raphael haven't got a single clue with ours. Do you know why Master Splinter?" Leo questioned all high and fucking mighty, as usual, answering for everyone including me; which always pissed me off. 

"Well, a Chi for someone is normally given only at the most valued time in someone's life; especially if they are gifted enough for it and if the spirits of the Chi itself think you're ready- And another thing- All Chi is given when triggered, it won't just come to you lightly or be handed out- You have to fight for it and be within your own mind-focus for something so powerful- and for what I can tell, Michelangelo's trigger was anger, and so was Donatello's, so most likely it will be the same for the rest of you, depending on what kind you receive," Sensei explained showing his hands towards me and my eldest brother.

I clenched my fists as they sat uncomfortably on my lap, and Donnie noticed, shaking his head just barely to signal me to chill the out.

"If anger is what triggers it- then why hasn't Raphie got his? He's upset about something all the time!" Mikey joked, but he was the only one who laughed, making things awkward; but his tone and voice alone calmed me down just a little bit.

I personally hated being around my father- I hated being around watching Leo kiss his ass into being the favorite turtle. And Leo knew it- he was a fucking showoff.

"Well, Michelangelo, as I said, maybe his Chi just isn't ready for him; it's gotta be the right time and place for something like that- but do not worry my son, he will find it- and that discovery will be life-changing for him," Sensei said with a smile.

My nostrils flared with anger, "Why do you always speak about me, like I'm not even in the room, Master Splinter?" I asked, not moving an inch from my spot.

Sensei tilted his head towards me and made slow movements to come face to face with me, "I do not mean to make you feel like such a child, my son, and it's not attended,"

"Raph!" I heard Leo grit through a whisper, but I ignored him.

I finally moved to my feet while staring down at my father, "Why did you come back?" I finally questioned, letting the sentence that everyone and even Leo had wondered from the very beginning.

I watched as Splinter let out a soft sigh and glanced up at me, "Raphael, we have been over this, I don't wanna cause such a discussion just before training--"

"Fuck your training!" I spat- making Leo rise to his feet and grab my shoulder.

"Raph!" Leo warned again, but this time he was much louder.

Sensei held his hand up, "It's quite alright, Leonardo, let the boy speak- since my return, I've noticed a large amount of tension along with him being so on edge," 

"I am not a boy! I am a man!" I shouted, "We didn't want you coming back here! We were fine without you!" 

Master Splinter's face went from calm to stern and the temperature changed in the room and completed heated around me like a pool of lava. 

"So fine that you hold just as many secrets as I do, Raphael Son?" he questioned, making me stop in my tracks. 

"You lied to us, and played Mikey!" I accused, making my voice a lot lower, which was a downgrade from yelling as Leo tightened his grip on my shoulder and I brushed him off.

"I may have lied, but it was to keep you all safe!" 

"Safe from what, dad?" I scoffed, throwing my hands into the air, not realizing the red rings forming around my feet, "You thought we weren't ready for your little fuckin' adventure!"

"Raph," Leo said for like the fifth time, but I kept ignoring him, and continued to run my mouth.

"Raphael, I told you, we would speak about this once I have much more information-- but enough about me, Enough of having the spotlight on me- How's about you explain why your little brother was in your bed this morning?" he questioned so casually that it made me wanna jump him right here right now.

The room fell quiet again- but not just your normal type of silence, and if someone dropped a penny- it could be heard from miles.

"Raphael," Donnie urged quietly- seeming concerned about something other than what I cared about. 

"He was there because he fuckin' could be, it's none of your business!" I accused, as my hand wrapped around something thick- hard and tough at the edges. 

"I-I think Raph found his awakening" I heard Mikey mutter to our four-eyed sibling.

"Mikey was just h-having bad dreams again, Sensei- and um, h-he always goes to Raph when he's upset- especially since his room is closest!" Leo defended and tried covering it up, angering me further. 

"God, that's all you fuckwits are filled with, is lies, secrets and just bullshit! Donnie was fuckin' right about yous, including you Splinter Jr!" I shouted towards Leo, as my voice echoed around the room, making me realize just how deep in emotion I truly was- until I finally noticed the bright red markings spinning around my feet- and spreading through my entire body-

"Raphael, You need to calm down!" Master Splinter commanded, and I cut my eyes as sharp as I could at him and took a step back. 

"I'm tired of fuckin' hidin' from the world!" I growled, quickly leaving the room and not looking back. 

I needed to grow some distance between me and this place, I needed to go- leave, no- wait. 

I can't leave them alone-- No! You need to calm down, I need to calm down.

I glanced down at my hands and the weapons that were now displayed in front of me.

Distance.

I needed that- Run, Just keep going!

It wasn't going away!

I felt the cold air on my face, and the snow crunching under my feet- but my body heat- the patterns swirling around on my skin numbed me to the core and blinded my vision, making it seem as if the whole world was Red.

ᵀᵒ ᴮᵉ Cᵒⁿᵗⁱⁿᵘᵉᵈ


	33. ᴬ ᵂⁱˢᵉ ᴹᵃⁿ ᴬⁿᵈ Fˡᵃᵐᵉˢ ᴰᵒⁿ'ᵗ ᴹⁱˣ

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> " ᵂʰᵃᵗ ᴵˢ Yᵒᵘʳ ᴾᵒⁱˢᵒⁿ "   
ᴵˢ ᵇᵃˢᵉᵈ ᵘᵖᵒⁿ ᶜᵒᵐᵖˡᵉᵗᵉ ᶠⁱᶜᵗⁱᵒⁿ ᵃⁿᵈ ⁱᵈᵉᵃ'ˢ ᴴʸᵈʳᵃᵏⁱⁿᶻ, ᴴᵃˢ ᶜᵒˡˡᵉᶜᵗᵉᵈ ᵒᵛᵉʳ ᵗʰᵉ ᵖˡᵒᵗ ᵒᶠ ʰᵉʳ ᶠᵃᵛᵒʳⁱᵗᵉ ᶠᵃⁿᵈᵒᵐ ᵒᶠ ᵃˡˡ ᵗⁱᵐᵉ, ᵀᴹᴺᵀ
> 
> Book Two Out Now! 
> 
> This Story Contains #Turtlecest. 
> 
> ໓໐ຖ't likē, ໓໐ຖ't rēค໓.
> 
> After Raphael and Leonardo think that their brothers are dead from a warehouse explosion, they mourn the deaths of what remained, including the lie and betrayal of their father faking his own death to keep them safe. Raph and Leo try to move on, but more than twenty surprises hit them in the face like a ton of bricks when Donnie and Mike return to the lair after a fight for adventure. Feelings begin to bloom over the loss. And drama forms and rains over their heads like a storm.
> 
> Falling In Love With Your Own Sibling Was Never going to be easy-- but getting them to love you back was a challenge-- Only in reality-- they all loved each other just as equal. 
> 
> Read ᵂʰᵃᵗ ᴵˢ Yᵒᵘʳ ᴾᵒⁱˢᵒⁿ to find out what unfolds right before their eyes, and to be there every step of the way as these four brothers discover what true love and sacrifice truly means to have exactly what you want.

ᵂʰᵃᵗ ᴵˢ Yᵒᵘʳ ᴾᵒⁱˢᵒⁿ

Cʰᵃᵖᵗᵉʳ ˣˣˣᴵᴵ

ᴬ ᵂⁱˢᵉ ᴹᵃⁿ ᴬⁿᵈ Fˡᵃᵐᵉˢ ᴰᵒⁿ'ᵗ ᴹⁱˣ

{ Smut Warning }

[ Michelangelo ]

What Just Happened?

Raph discovered his Chi- and every inch of power behind it. Didn't he?

I couldn't figure out why I was running after him- and risking my own safety but I knew with how long I've spent without him- I wasn't going to just let him disappear into mid-day and let him be alone with discovering these things about himself.

I didn't want that when I killed the man who raped and defiled me to the core of my soul and ridden me breathless and without a single care for what I did or said to the first person who stood in my way- and with that- the anger behind the power it gives you was a death sentence in helping a terrapin like Raphael.

But I didn't care- Why would I? Why in hell would it even be a choice alone for me not to run after him? Or even help him for that matter.

As I ran, following his scent of flame and fire- the words in the back of my mind from Sensei flashed like royal blue money-

"Let him go- he is too dangerous, too useless to be helped right now, Michelangelo,"

I couldn't believe he said he was useless- besides, Raph had always been typically dangerous. It was something I was beyond used to at this point and nothing was going to get in my way with helping him.

Raphael's scent led me into the woods- and a trail of burnt grass and fallen trees were inches from me, which sort of looked like a pathway to hell in my opinion; but I had to find him. He couldn't of gotten far.

I followed forward, tracing up any lead for my mate, and eventually, I came to a field. A field that ran for about a mile before the trees around us cut it off.

It was open and completely covered in many different colored flowers. 

It was honestly the most beautiful sight I had ever seen in my entire life; And using words like beautiful, or pretty wasn't really in my vocabulary- but I was speechless. 

I never saw anything like it- and from what I recalled, stuff like this only happened in the movies. But I guess my own world was filled with surprises like these ones.

"Go home, Mikey!" demanded a rasped voice coming from across the nestled flower patches. 

I looked over, following the sound of the voice I knew all too well; and his warning tone never shook me off. Never scared me; though sometimes it was a bit too much for me to handle.

The closer I moved towards him, I was beginning to notice how the air and wind weren't as cold as it is in the middle of Manhattan. Here, there was no snow, no frozen lakes- it was like I was in an entirely new world, with a totally different season.

"I came here to help you," I reassured, keeping my arms at my sides, but loosely keeping my hand near my right nunchuck at my thigh, becoming prepared for any new or late surprises. 

"I don't need your fuckin' help!" Raph cursed, leaning over in the grass on his knees, obviously refraining from exploding from all the heat coursing through his body that I could practically smell.

"You do- because I needed yours, Leo's and D's when I went through this crap, so don't tell me that," I simply said edging myself closer to the hot-head, but making cautious steps and keeping my own temper under complete control.

"Shut the fuck up!" he growled, as I could clearly see the steam coming off of his body- And right then and there, from all the burnt grass in the woods, and the smell of constant charcoal summed up what ability my mate carried. Which didn't seem to surprise me at all, "You- and them," he began, while pointing a strange-looking sai outwards from his body as chains trickled from the blade, making a metal on metal noise, "And your fuckin' words, all bullshit!" Raph spat.

I watched, becoming a bit floored from his honesty- "What words, Raphie? Me trying to help you, or just you becoming a fireball?" I grinned, tilting my head off to the side, noticing how Raph's face scrunched at the name I gave him.

"Stupid fuckin' name too," he muttered, slowly standing to his feet and turning to fully face me now. 

My lips popped open in a small gasp when I saw the look in his eyes, where emerald green and browns no longer existed.

I saw red and only red.

He practically looked like a demon; a devil even, minus the horns and crimson skin. 

He snarled at me, spinning his newly formed weapons, "You're gonna piss off before I hurt ya, Mikey!" he then added, pushing his brows together, adding a darker depth to his face, making him look even scarier than he usually does.

"You won't hurt me," I defended while swallowing whatever pride I had in these very moments and took another step towards him, and flinching when he let out a misty growl. 

"Are ya too fuckin' stupid to realize that I will?" he yelled, making me stop, "Do ya think I want that?" he then questioned on clenched teeth.

I blinked, trying to think of a way to let the burn in my stomach go, "I-I wanna help you, why can't you see that?" I delicately asked, "I'm here, let me!" 

"I don't need your fuckin' help! Now go home!" he shouted again, as flames formed on the insides of his sockets, and it inlined his forearms and lit up like a firework on the fourth of July.

I watched as Raph clenched his fists around the sharp objects, and even there, flames and crackling smoke covered his fingers and wrapped around his dark green skin, making me finally step back- though I knew I couldn't run away now. No matter how much he tried to hurt or kill me.

"You do need my help, Raph, Look at me!" I said throwing my hands up, "You know me--" 

"I said, No!" he yelled, balling one of his hands and shooting two, even three fireballs at me; and without a second thought of reaction, I jumped into the air performing a simple backflip and landed back into the grass, feeling my own chi boiling at the seams. 

"Raph, I don't wanna do this with you, Please!" I pleaded, but it just ended up with another three shots of fire being thrown at me, and with everything I had in me; I focused my mind on what's inside, and deep, deep in me was something I've been waiting to show off for everyone to see. 

I leaped into the air again, and let everything I've been holding back, erupt from my body- and a solid cloud of pastel orange mist surrounded my entire frame and with a swift grab of my weapons, I landed, slamming them onto the ground, creating a giant wall of wind, and sending it straight towards my brother, completely destroying the flames being thrown my way- including the fire reaching higher in the sky from his body.

He landed on his carapace as I twirled my nunchucks creating an even larger gust of air, "What the fuck!" Raphael cursed, instantly hopping to his feet but with a bit of a struggle. 

"I warned you, Raph," I said flatly- but without a care in the world, "I did," 

I felt the electricity in my veins and continued to spin and flip my weapons, making a giant ball of wind, and gravel. 

The flowers were flowing everywhere around us as I waved my hands into the air, absorbing every bile I could, and surrounding myself with elemental life.

"Alright, Mikey! You wanna play?" my brother questioned as if he just got the air knocked out of him as I span my arms and threw rocks at him, but missing only by inches as a warning.

"I didn't want it to come to this!" I stated, making him glare up at me as the flames in his arms ignited once again, and with a loud huff, I landed on my feet, shaking my head, "I won't fight you," I gave in, as all the dust and air disappeared at the very tips of my fingers, and sucking in and flying away- making the tails of my mask follow in despair. 

"If ya don't wanna fight me, then it'd be best for you to get the fuck out of my sight then!" he spat across from me, but nothing he said no longer triggered me in ways it used to. I was stronger- no longer weak and the words of others, including my families, societies and the world around me. It no longer defined me.

I rose my arms giving him a flat expression, though making it bold, and serious, "You couldn't make me leave," I replied, now standing inches from him, but with how fast I moved didn't seem to shock him as much as it did me. 

I discovered my way of speed not long ago after the crime I committed. It was exhilarating- and well, kind of amazing! I felt like a true superhero at times- but I couldn't treat it like that. My gift was sacred. It was something I finally realized I couldn't play around with like a toy- at least Leo would have told me that if I'd given him a word of what I was able to do now. 

I had to be a responsible Turtle Titan.

A small smile curled on my lips at the thought as I glanced up at my big brother, who still looked just as angry as he did before.

"You won't hurt me," I repeated, taking his hands in mine as the flames faded from his fists and subsided along his skin, reminding me of just how green Raph actually is. Which was kind of silly to say- considering that we were all green in some sort of way- but Raph, his skin always had that spice to it. Something special you could say- it was much darker than me and the rest of my brothers' and I admired it.

Raphael looked down at me, confused, though puzzled, "I just tried to, and you're here tellin' me I won't," he muttered quietly although weakly, blinking away any tears approaching his sight.

I slid my hand to his cheek and forced him to look down at me, "These outbursts--" I chuckled, "They are normal for you, especially with your gift- for fuck sakes, Raph, you found your Chi! Aren't you happy?" I questioned with surprise in my voice. 

He lowered his head, "I am, I just don't wanna hurt nobody- and Splinter, he-- I almost killed him, Mikey!" 

"And? My opinion the rat kind of deserves it- Do you honestly think I agree with his return?" 

Raph sighed, "No, but Leo obviously is, he's back to kissin' Sensei's ass again!" 

"Leo is just as disappointed as we are. Do you really think he isn't upset? God knows Donatello is," I said, slipping away from my brother and sitting down in the flower swatch of yellow daisies.

Raph looked down at me and bit at his lip, making me blush, "Since when can you throw wind at people?

"Since when can you shoot flames from your big meaty hands?" I retorted with a smirk on my face as I leaned back on my hands, becoming more exposed to the sun above my head. 

"Huh, funny- I can give you something else that's big and meaty- somethin' I know you'll enjoy" Raph smirked in return making my expression drop entirely to the gutter in my stomach. I watched silently as he began to walk away.

"A-Aren't you going to sit?" I quickly asked and he stopped, hesitating.

"Isn't this place a bit-- much?" he said stretching his arms out towards the point he was trying to prove.

I looked around, then shook my head, "No, it's peaceful, but if you think it's too much, then why'd you come here?"

He shrugged, finally deciding to sit by me, "I didn't wanna make a scene in the city- so, here we are. No snow either," 

"Which is kind of- weird," I laughed, "But I like it,"

"Maybe it's you, manipulating the weather," Raph teased, nudging me.

I rolled my eyes and playfully nudged back, "Right- be sure to remind me that you're the one to come to when I need my fire lit," 

After the words slipped from my mouth, it made him laugh. Which shocked me. I actually made him laugh, and the smile on his face put warmth in my stomach. 

"I guess being all Firestone isn't all that bad," 

"Kind of hot-" I bit my lip, hoping he didn't hear. 

"What?" he asked, shooting me a look.

"Oh, nothing" I lied, picking one of the flowers from the grass. 

"What'd ya say?" he pushed, edging closer. 

"I said it was nothing!" I defended, continuing to avoid him. 

"Welp, I guess I'll just have to kick it outta ya," Raph said, getting extremely close. 

I huffed, throwing the flower at him, "I said it's kind of hot!" I finally answered, "Happy now?" 

He stared at me for a moment- which is where I noticed how normal-looking his eyes were again. He was mine, and the man I knew, not some fire-breathing demonic dragon. 

"No," He simply answered, leaning into my mouth and kissing me openly- and unexpectedly.

I kissed back once, and looked up at him, "You're so confusing- you know that?"

"Most turtles are, Mike," he grinned, going in for another but I pushed a finger to his lips to stop him. 

"We were just trying to kill each other, and now we're sitting in a field of flowers, with you trying to kiss me-- I don't think other turtles share the same similarities," I smiled innocently and he rolled his eyes.

"Shut up, Mikey-" he muttered before kissing me again, and this time, I didn't hold back or stop him.

I knew that we were alone, and far from being seen, and Raph knew it too and things soon would be out of control- like we wanted. Like we've been wanting for weeks now.

I laughed a bit in between the kisses and pulled Raph by his face closer to mine, and pushed my lips deeper, and more desperately against his.

"What's funny?" he asked breathlessly as I ran my fingers down his inked biceps.

"Nothing- Just, everything- things are kind of messed up," I answered, resting my forehead against his, not remembering when I crawled into his lap.

I felt Raph's breath against my neck, feeling him there, trailing his lips along my skin and over my shoulder, "Yeah, but we're away from the messed up crap," he began, resting another kiss on my collarbone, "Hell, this can even be our place, if ya wanted," 

"Our place?" I questioned, tilting my head off to one side and sliding my arms around his neck with a smile forming on my face.

"Well, yeah, like, a place where we can go, and nobody has to know," he explained, rubbing the sides of my shell, nearly making me quiver.

"Can Don and Leo, at least know about it?" I quickly asked, earning a growl from my mate. 

"What for?" he said into my neck.

"Well, maybe this can be their place too-- our place," I corrected, nuzzling his face, making him almost crack a smile. 

"Fine. Though I don't even know the point- considering they don't even fu--"

"Raphie," I interrupted, kissing him on the side of his mouth, and then straight on the lips, distracting him from speaking about our siblings so harshly.

Leo and Don were going through a worse time than we were. They were struggling with similar issues, but their relationship was rockier now than it was before. 

I had thought they were fine for a while; especially after Don and Raph threw it down in our living room. 

But from all the looks, the tension, and the way they both kept one another busy to avoid each other worried me.

I wondered all the time if things would ever be the same again. 

"I don't wanna go home," Raph said, squeezing me against him. 

"We'll have to eventually" I sighed, resting my head on his. 

"Can't we just run away together? Maybe- maybe we can go back to Japan," Raph said, suddenly meeting my eyes.

"Back to Japan?" I asked quietly- "I don't really ever wanna go back there, Raph," 

He pecked my lips once, "Then somewhere. I don't wanna hide anymore, Mikey"

Listening to Raph's voice, I was getting concerned. He was desperate for things to be normal again. 

Our kind of normal. 

The normal where us four brothers did things together that others would think is wrong- even our own father. 

I watched my mates eyes and kissed him as passionately as I could. Wanting him to feel the amount of love I know he needs, as well as I do. 

My fingers spread across his skin, feeling and breathing in every inch, making him release a held back churr that rumbled my core. 

Raph was pulling at my belt- and grabbing for the buttons on my pants, and before I knew it- he had forced me on my plastron and on all fours, but letting my elbows give, I lowered my head into the grass as my heart began to pound in my chest, preparing for what was to come.

"R-Raph, Go easy," I said quietly hearing him growl from behind me. 

"Ya know I won't," he responded with a rasp in his voice while getting my pants down finally with a large yank and a rip. 

"P-Please, it's been a-awhile," I begged, biting into one of the tails from my mask. 

Raph sighed once I heard him unzip his fly and press against me, "Don't worry babe- I'll be gentle with ya," he reassured, rubbing a hand up and down the back of my shell, making me purr at the soothing feeling shooting straight to my groin.

For some reason I was nervous- and for once in my life, I felt like a virgin again, waiting to be claimed by the one who rightfully owned my body- and I felt as a slave to him as he my master, which was vaguely dirty- but now was a time for dirty things. 

I felt the tip of my cock poking out from the slit in my plastron and I couldn't help but moan out of desperation and realize just how fucked this was.

We were in the middle of the woods. In the middle of a field, and Raph was about to nail me.

God, finally- 

"Arch for me, yeah?" Raph asked in his own demanding way.

I obeyed instinctively and stuck my behind into the air, letting my tail unfold from hiding and stick straight up, wiggling with anticipation. 

"Good boy," he praised, earning an approving whine from me as I dropped down and ran my hand along the growing shaft of my member. 

"Fuck, Raph, please-- need you now," I panted, quickening my pace and feeling that same electricity again in my veins. Having him touch me with his large hands and scrap across my skin was making it burn- and ache for more.

I felt him push further against me, letting his cock slide just between my legs and barely catching on the lubricated entrance I waited for him to ravish. I was begging him silently to hurry up- and cursing at myself for telling him to go slow and be gentle. 

I needed to feel the burn. I needed to feel him again. 

With a small squelch, Raph struggled a moment to get himself inside of me, and with every disappearing inch, it filled me. It filled me deeper and opened me up with little force. 

I was moving my hand faster- letting my thumb rub unbearably against the head of my cock, as I teased myself, needing it. 

"Jesus, Mikey!" Raph groaned, gripping the subtle curves of my hips that connected to my thighs, "How the fuck- did ya possibly get tighter?" 

I gasped, feeling him thrust, "S-Shut up!" 

"You don't know how long ha, I've waited for this," he said, making my heart pound quicker, making it thump in my ears with every thrust of his body into my own.

"R-Raphie," I churred, feeling my tail wiggle excitedly as he quickly thrust into me and making every nerve in my core light up like Christmas.

"Missed ya so much, ah, fuck, Mikey!" Raph moaned, sending a chill down my spine and forcing noises of my own from my lungs as they were getting louder by the second. 

"H-Harder!" I demanded, feeling the tips of my mates' fingers dig into my body as he prepared the force of a wild animal and fucked into me.

I let my mouth fall open as my erection began to throb uncontrollably between my legs, "That's it, Mikey- good boy-" Raph praised again, making the blood in my cheeks return and burn like the heat already pooling my abdomen, "Good boy takin' all of me," he said on a short breath, earning a sharp cry from me. 

His dirty words, his filthy fucking mouth. 

"G-Gonna, cum, R-Raphie!" I gasped, as my grip tightened around my member, but by the time the words left my mouth, Raph had flipped me over onto my shell and hooked my legs around his waist. 

It didn't stop- the lust in his eyes, the way he bit his lip while watching me get fucked by him- and he knew I was claimed. He knew this information years ago.

He bent over me, as the sounds from the heavy breathing and our voices mixed and stretched for miles, until his lips barely touched mine, and my moans were now muffled. 

"R-Raph, I can't-- ah!" I churred, releasing my spurting erection and wrapping my arms around his neck. 

"C'mon, Mikey- let it out, cum for me, ah, be a good boy and just do it!" he panted, with hooded eyes, pressing into my mouth and kissing me roughly while angling himself inside of me and thrusting as hard as I knew he possibly could. 

"R-Raph- ael!" I stammered, curling my toes, no longer being able to hold it back anymore as the smells from our sweat- sex and heat filled my nose and made me cum messily between us both, triggering the release of his own. 

"Mikey- shit!" he growled lazily against my mouth, as the familiar warmth and burn coated my insides, making me feel finally full.

Raph relaxed against me and pushed his entire weight on me. It becoming strangely comforting underneath all the sun, and wind. 

A smile curled at the edges of my mouth, and with the trickle of my fingers, I touched Raph's cheek and kissed him one last time, which didn't actually turn into the last time. We shared a kiss after kiss for the next five minutes and didn't stop until I let my head fall back against the grass.

"What're ya so smiley about?" Raph asked, with a grin of his own, though his accent sounding much sharper than usual. 

"You," I simply said, not moving my head to look at him, but continuing to stare up at the clouds passing over us. 

"What about me, knucklehead?" he continued while trailing small nips along my jaw. 

"When we're alone, after, this, or just in general-- you become so lovey-dovey- so mushy, and I love it, I miss it even-- having your warmth is the best part about it," I said, feeling open enough to be romantic I guess you'd call it. 

"Lovey-Dovey huh?" Raph laughed, kissing my cheek and crawling off of me to lie in the grass nearby but close enough. 

We let a few minutes of silence consume us in the afterglow of what just happened. But then something clicked into mind and I bit my lip, debating at first. 

"Raph," 

"Hm?" he hummed, leaning into my neck as he stretched an arm around my body and pulled me close, seeming far too comfy.

"I love you," I whispered with a large smile on my face, nuzzling him with the amount of love that I've been dying to show him, and the care he thinks he doesn't deserve. 

"Alright- Alright- enough of the mushy crap," Raph stopped with the roll of his eyes as he slowly sat up, but I stopped him. 

"Raphael, I'm serious!" I stated with a tone he became alarmed with and looked at me, "Say it back,"

His eyes became just as serious as my voice and he stared at me, "I love you too, Mikey-"

"Do you mean it?" I questioned, sitting up next to him.

"Of course I fuckin' mean it!" he almost yelled, making me jump, "Why the hell wouldn't I?"

"I just never hear you say it," I defended, making him sigh.

"Well, I mean it- always have. I love you, Mikey," he says making my heart flutter.

For the remainder of the time we're out in the field, we spent hours talking about random subjects. 

The future, and about our father.

That we all eventually would need to come to a conclusion. 

A choice, and decision for who- or what would make the move on telling everyone the truth.

But there was a problem behind the shadows, and that we were afraid of the consequences. 

A New World was coming- and we all knew it.

ᵀᵒ ᴮᵉ Cᵒⁿᵗⁱⁿᵘᵉᵈ


	34. ᴰᵉᶠⁱⁿᵉᵈ ᴸᵒᵍⁱᶜ

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> " ᵂʰᵃᵗ ᴵˢ Yᵒᵘʳ ᴾᵒⁱˢᵒⁿ "   
ᴵˢ ᵇᵃˢᵉᵈ ᵘᵖᵒⁿ ᶜᵒᵐᵖˡᵉᵗᵉ ᶠⁱᶜᵗⁱᵒⁿ ᵃⁿᵈ ⁱᵈᵉᵃ'ˢ ᴴʸᵈʳᵃᵏⁱⁿᶻ, ᴴᵃˢ ᶜᵒˡˡᵉᶜᵗᵉᵈ ᵒᵛᵉʳ ᵗʰᵉ ᵖˡᵒᵗ ᵒᶠ ʰᵉʳ ᶠᵃᵛᵒʳⁱᵗᵉ ᶠᵃⁿᵈᵒᵐ ᵒᶠ ᵃˡˡ ᵗⁱᵐᵉ, ᵀᴹᴺᵀ
> 
> Book Two Out Now! 
> 
> This Story Contains #Turtlecest. 
> 
> ໓໐ຖ't likē, ໓໐ຖ't rēค໓.
> 
> After Raphael and Leonardo think that their brothers are dead from a warehouse explosion, they mourn the deaths of what remained, including the lie and betrayal of their father faking his own death to keep them safe. Raph and Leo try to move on, but more than twenty surprises hit them in the face like a ton of bricks when Donnie and Mike return to the lair after a fight for adventure. Feelings begin to bloom over the loss. And drama forms and rains over their heads like a storm.
> 
> Falling In Love With Your Own Sibling Was Never going to be easy-- but getting them to love you back was a challenge-- Only in reality-- they all loved each other just as equal. 
> 
> Read ᵂʰᵃᵗ ᴵˢ Yᵒᵘʳ ᴾᵒⁱˢᵒⁿ to find out what unfolds right before their eyes, and to be there every step of the way as these four brothers discover what true love and sacrifice truly means to have exactly what you want.

ᵂʰᵃᵗ ᴵˢ Yᵒᵘʳ ᴾᵒⁱˢᵒⁿ

Cʰᵃᵖᵗᵉʳ ˣˣˣᴵᴵᴵ

ᴰᵉᶠⁱⁿᵉᵈ ᴸᵒᵍⁱᶜ

[ Donatello ]

= Journal Entry 12 =

February 12th, 2020

I have researched the possibilities countless times. 

I've thought it over and over at least a million. And calculating my chances now would only be around four percent. Which really wasn't that good- in my opinion.

I still haven't told anyone what I wanted to do. Or even what I've been up to the past month or so. 

I couldn't get it out of my head, so here I am, admitting to all my research, and reversing the time continuing to bring me the answers I want. But with a percentage that low-- I don't even think I'll get that lucky--

I mean, it already happened once. Unfortunately-- once. 

One great time and that was the last of it. 

I feel useless when I'm around Leo.

I keep thinking he'll approach me with his witty words and explanations, but with the new rules, and boundaries. I'm not sure where else to begin with my new found problems- or even the desires I carry in my pocket every freaking night.

I didn't feel it was proper if I said the real word there, so- I'm sorry for my difficulties. 

I worry about literally everything-- and I can be so dramatic. 

I wonder if Mikey ever gets that way with Raph when no one else is around.

They seemed perfect. 

I sometimes envy them-- which is never likely to happen, because, for Sensei's rules, envy wasn't exactly allowed in our home. 

I couldn't understand just now why that would be wrong-- envy isn't wrong- it's a normal human-- er. It's a normal thing for people, and mutated terrapins, I guess. 

Anyway- I think this entry might be a little shorter than most of the others. I just really needed to get some things off my mind-- like, has your head ever felt so full- and you can't figure a way to get it out? Well, that's me right now. 

I'm really fricked up.

"Donatello?" 

"Huh?" I gasp, fumbling off with my pencil as everything in my hands tumble to the floor, leaving my journal open on the ground, which I quickly reached down to pick up, noticing Master Splinter next to my desk.

"I'm sorry my son, I didn't mean to startle you-- something seems to be bothering you. Aching you even. Do you want to talk?" he asked with a soft tone, reminding me of who my father truly can be when you needed him the most. But the things I could tell him would be in over his head.

I couldn't possibly bring myself any more stress than I already had. 

"No, I'm just a little tired," I replied, cleaning up what else fell on the floor and standing up from my computer chair.

"Are you sure?" he pushed, pulling on my heartstrings, because I know he knew something was wrong- was going on that neither of us was telling him, "You can talk to me, you know that- don't you?"

I nodded in response and sighed heavily once my back was turned and I was facing the bookcase that stretched nearly as tall as the ceiling- "Sensei, have you ever wanted something so much, but you simply can't have it?" I questioned on a short held breath.

I heard Splinter hum, but he didn't answer until he was at my side, staring up at me with his piercing black eyes, "It really depends on what it is- that you want, Donatello,"

I shook my head, looking for some kind of an excuse. I knew that this was dangerous. He could play me- get into my mind, and play me for a fool to get his very own answers when I clearly wanted mine. 

"I'm just asking out of curiosity- I was thinking about Japan again, and maybe us living there one day-" 

Splinter's eyes lit up and his mood seemed to of as well, "Well, to be honest, my son, wanting something isn't exactly the same as needing it- There is greed behind want- and there is passion behind the need, but both can be important. It isn't entirely all selfishness,"

I bit the inside of my cheek and fluttered my eyes until they closed, "I sometimes just wish things were different-- when we went to Japan, so much happened, so much that I don't even wanna speak about-- but then there were the good things, and the good things were the greatest things I had ever experienced, and apart of those was getting away from here for a change,"

"Are you not happy here, Donatello?" 

My eyes flew back open, "Oh, um, I am! I am, I just-- sometimes I want something different. Japan is beautiful- it's open, it's full, and it has Freedom behind it," 

"Is that what you want?" he asked raising a hand towards me, "Freedom?" 

If only he knew what I actually wanted. It would be recounted as sin in his book.

"Well, sometimes," I finally said, making him look towards the ground. 

"I understand, my son, wanting or even needing Freedom is kind of a normal thing for you, or even for myself- sometimes I too, wish to run in the wild or see a different type of beauty in these lands, so, It's alright, Donatello. It's alright to want something- but you simply cannot have it. But having it is only the beginning of it. And getting it is the fun part of life, so, if you truly want to hear my answer on your question; then, if you want something so badly- then you, and only you, my son, can make it happen," he said with a smile.

I looked down at my father again and nodded with approval, feeling full of hope again, or even with some sort of happiness I can't quite grasp yet. 

"Thanks, Dad," I beamed, and he nodded back in my direction, leaving me alone in my lab, where I remained for the next two hours until a knock on my door pulled me from my desk again. 

When I opened it- Mikey was smiling up at me with his signature grin as always, and with Raph not too far behind him. 

I quickly checked the time, where it sat only in the Afternoon. 

"Can we talk to you?" he simply asked, and as he was speaking- I looked around for any sign of Leo, and gave them a quick yeah, and let them in. 

"So, what can I do for you both?" I questioned, zoning away from the sudden intrusion and planting myself back in my desk, where I span to face the pieces of paper spread out across the flat-surface, "I'm hoping it isn't a cattle call," 

I heard Raph release a growl, and Mikey let out a warning-- they sounded oddly different. 

Intriguing even. 

What were they up to?

"Well, we actually wanted to tell you about a spot we found," my little brother confessed, making me stop mid-sentence on the paper. 

"A spot?" 

"A special spot," Mikey continued. 

I finally turned to face them again and was fully interested in how excited he seemed about this, but the alpha in the room didn't show to be too thrilled. 

"I'm not sure this is a good idea-" Raph started but Mikey pushed a hand to his chest and spread his fingers out across his scaled skin. 

"Just let me, alright?" Mikey pleaded, and Raph exhaled through his nose. 

"Well?" I said, getting his attention again. 

Mikey looked straight at me with a questioning smile, "Um, so, You know how Leo and Sensei have been kind of poking around the bush about where me and Raph disappear to here lately-"

I nodded, "Yeah, I'm assuming your personal trips to train and inspect for any Foot Clan activity is a real bust, huh?"

"Yeah, we lied," He giggled, "But for a good reason!"'

"We found a place, not too far from here, but far enough so we won't be seen, or be bothered," Raph jumped in, really piquing my interest. 

He stepped forward and nuzzled the side of our little brother's head, making my cheeks flush, "So, we are free to do whatever we want," Mikey muttered, but sounding breathless when he spoke, as if he was on as much edge as I was. 

"What um," I swallowed, "What type of place is it?"

"A field," Raph answered, continuing to nuzzle Mikey and hug into his side without a single care in the world. 

"Filled with flowers that could spread for miles," Mikey said, biting his lip excitedly.

"How did you find it?"

"It's a long but violent story-" Raph snickered.

"So, why exactly are you telling me about it?" I finally asked, standing up from my chair. 

"We want you to come and see it. Leo too," Mikey said, making my gut fall. 

"I don't know if Leo should know that you two have been sneaking off to nest in some field," I half-heartedly retorted. 

"We will talk to him, but we wanted to tell you first since well-- you're more understanding than him, he'll just jump to conclusions, and probably start some big argument- but just please, at least think about it- me and Raph-- well, we've been having a lot of fun there," he grinned. 

"I'm sure you have," I laughed, watching my older brother nip at the back of Mikey's neck, "But I'll um, I'll think about it-- but only if you talk to fearless, because I'm not doing it"

Mikey gave me a quick nod and grabbed Raph's hand and pulled him from my lab, making me sigh out of relief for them finally being gone. 

I couldn't bear being near my brothers for the sake of my hormones. 

I hated myself for it-- but they reeked of sexual frustration, and of the heat that radiated from my body to theirs. I couldn't figure out how the hell Leo put up with it-- but here I am finally realizing why he trains so much and sparred off in thin air to get his mind wavered over. 

I for a moment- betted that he too was just as stressed as me. 

After another hour of contemplating- I checked my watch a final time before realizing that it was just about fifteen before seven, and with that- I wondered out of my lab and headed for the exit.

"Where are you going?" 

I stopped, and quick. Without turning- I knew who had caught me, and I silently cursed every breath in my head for being so stupid to not check my surroundings first. 

I truly was losing my touch. 

"Just to get some air," I muttered, suddenly feeling small.

"Splinter said there is a storm coming- I don't think you should be leaving Donatello," he clarified, making the air thicken. 

"My monitors didn't say anything about a storm," I corrected, finally turning to face him as the lump in my throat swelled up to the size of a grapefruit. 

Leo rolled his eyes, and clearly scoffed, "Well, I trust dad's judgment" 

"I trust the sciences' judgment more," I defend, tilting my head, "Can I go?" 

"No. You aren't leaving- just like Mikey and Raph. They wanted to leave too, but they are being idiots," he insulted, "My decision is final, Donnie,"

"God, Leo, have you forgotten that we aren't teenagers anymore?" I spat, surprising myself.

Leo stopped and turned his head towards me, "Have you forgotten that we have rules?"

"Oh, believe me, I know we do-- I can't simply forget them with you bouncing around thinking you run this place!"

"Excuse me?" he spoke lowly making a chill go down my spine.

"You heard me, Leo, now I'm leaving! Feel free to try and stop me," I lightly barked, sending him a hand signal and marching away and out of the lair without him having the chance to argue. 

But eventually- he, of course, caught up with me and placed a hand in front of my chest to make me stop. 

"I said you aren't leaving!" 

"Why not?" 

"Because!" he said, raising his voice but it cracked.

"I'm going to that spot Mikey and Raph told me about before it gets too late. Now, move!" I shouted back, and he looked at me slightly confused. But I avoided his eyes and the obvious stinking heat that reached between us.

"Oh, that- why were you going there?" he questioned, sounding slightly relieved. 

"I wanted to see what was so special about it- is that wrong?" I pushed, tilting my head again, and Leo stammered away from me.

"No, I just don't want you running out on your own, alright?" he sighed.

I paused before I said anything and chewed on the inside of my cheek, which was a habit I was currently picking up on a daily.

Was Leo worried about me?

"I'd be safe, you'd know that- and this place, they said it wasn't much farther away from the city- and is secluded apparently," I said, trying to reassure him, though I knew no matter what I'd tell him, he'd argue with. 

"I'll go with you then," he suddenly spoke up a bit too sharply- catching my attention and making me wonder why he wanted to be around me. 

But I couldn't bring myself to say no, or even decline his offer with a fight. 

"Let's go then," 

I walked passed him and made a run for the massive exit at the end of the tunnels towards the woods that opened to a stream of water pouring down from some rocks. 

The ground was damp, and I thought that for a moment- maybe there actually was a storm coming- but I continued to trust my instincts and what I saw on my digital calendar. 

I sprung into full-on running- and my legs stretched far as I ran through the grass and went passed at least a hundred trees, that were full of blossomed undead leaves and flowers. 

The bark reaching towards the ground and to its roots looked almost a thousand years old. Which reminded me of the creepy trees you'd see in horror movies with witches or something.

They looked almost enchanting.

"Hold up!" I heard Leo say- distracting me and forcing me to a stop in the middle of the woods. Which was where I hadn't actually realized how far we had gone when I checked my watch. 

"What is it?" I asked, following up behind him, as the sticks and twigs cracked beneath my feet until I saw what he was so distraught about. 

It was the field.

Nestled in a huge patch of grass, and at least thirty different colors of flowers, with trees surrounding it- was the place my brothers had mentioned. 

It was beyond the meaning for breathtaking-- it was absolutely beautiful. But the clouds above us were darkening- and with another quick check, I flipped through the dialogues on my watch and came up empty- which concerned me. 

"This must be it," Leo said, stepping into the grass and away from the trees. 

I silently nodded, and followed him further, until we made it to the middle of the field, where it was mostly quiet. 

Silence surrounded us, except leaving the both of us with the noises of birds, and the hazel hint of wind in the air that was just enough to rustle up the grass at our feet. 

"Peaceful," I muttered, reaching to pick a flower, and carefully running my finger down the lightly painted green stem, almost mimicking the color of my skin.

"Maybe a little too peaceful," Leo replied, keeping his stances low, and looking around quizzingly-

"Who would be all the way out here?" I simply asked with a smile forming on my face as most of my worries washed from my mind.

Because, for once, I actually felt free. 

"I don't know, Donnie, maybe some psychopathic serial killer," Leo sniggered, making me share my own first-time laughter around him. 

I nudged him, "Right- as if someone could even come close to killing us,"

Leo kept the smile on his face and eventually walked further into the field, letting the silence surround us again, "So, what're we meant to do while we're here?" he questioned so quietly that I barely thought I heard him.

"Well, You and me both know what Raph and Mike came here to do," I answered bluntly.

"Yeah, unfortunately-" he muttered, "But what are we meant to do?" 

My eyes flicked to him, as that same lump in my throat returned, and the flower in my hand was being squished to a million pieces, "E-Enjoy it?"

A strike of thunder crackled over our heads, and we both glanced up at the sky as the clouds moved and flashed with lightning and broke through with crashing down rain which began to drip heavily on top of us. 

I looked towards Leo as the rain droplets covered the frames of my glasses, making my vision almost blind, but once he noticed, he was quick to move and pull them right off of my face, forcing a crimson blush to my cheeks. 

"So, dad lied about the weather, huh?" he asked sarcastically with a laugh, but I didn't move, or flash a smile.

Another chill went down my spine as the rain was chilling me to my core. The sight of my mate like this, it was bringing emotions I had been holding back for months to their very surfaces. 

He was simply gorgeous- and as sexy and intimidating as he always had been. 

I never thought I'd be standing here saying and thinking just how crazy I was for the one right in front of me. My own brother, my blood and my suffering for every single feeling coursing through my body as we speak. 

I stuck my tongue out and ran it across my lower lip to lick away any wetness, as I stepped forward, feeling my heart pounding so fast I thought it would fly away and possibly take me with it, which was the last thing I ever wanted. 

Leo saw the look on my face, and he knew right then and there what was going through my mind because even as confusing and as complicated as we were, and have been for what seemed like ages now, we still loved each other more than anything we could ever think of. 

His eyes were filled with lust. Lust and love that reminded me of the very first time he ever looked at me that way.

If Blue were to mix with Gold, we'd both make Green. Which was to match with our hearts and connect us both as one, as they were meant to be. 

Leo took a step closer as the rain covered us in a thin sheet of liquid as if we both were in some sort of shower of passion, or some cheesy romance movie again. 

"Leo," I said before I could hold back the word, and he closed in on me, making me feel small again, "Please,"

He hesitates, but looks about as nervous as me, as he leans in further, making my skin burn when he finally touches me and caresses my cheek, and barely pressing his lips to mine.

I gasp when our mouths finally collide and touch, igniting fireworks in my stomach, that light up all over my body and make me feel warm all over. 

I felt tears stinging my eyes even with the rain showering over us, so I closed them tightly and pressed even deeper into him, feeling as if I was going to fall forward, and faint.

Leo slid both of his hands up to my cheeks and caressed them both, holding me against his body and keeping me in the same place for the next few seconds until I pulled away for a breath of air. 

I grabbed the tails of Leo's mask and sighed heavily under the weather that was pouring down over my head, which was getting fairly cold, but the fire in my body made my embarrassment more obvious than anything else.

My hands were even shaking and I blinked rapidly as I stared up at my oldest brother with him wrapping an arm around me and pulling me tight against his plastron. 

"Don, You okay?" He finally asked, helping me finally regain focus.

I nodded without thought, letting the words spill from my lips, "I missed you, so much,"

He watched my face without saying anything for the next minute or so. He seemed as if he was lost by my presence alone like some spell was taking over him, and lifting us both into the air.

A light blue glow surrounded Leo and swirled around his fists, which turned dark blue, then all kinds of different blues, making me step back, but he keeps his grip on my body and holds me close enough to feel the power fueling his veins.

"I missed you more," he breathes, kissing me again, making me feel the same amount of strength in his body as he is mine.

I knew then that he too felt the same amount of wrath as I did for him, and we were one.

Donatello and Leonardo. 

Just like how I've always wanted it to be. 

Just us,

Me and Him, where he belongs to nobody else but me; 

My Dream, standing in the rain, in front of me, as we kissed, and shared our desired wants, and needs were displayed here, right here. 

Right where I wanted them to be. 

ᵀᵒ ᴮᵉ Cᵒⁿᵗⁱⁿᵘᵉᵈ


	35. ᴬ ᴹⁱˡᵏʸ ᵂᵃʸ Fᵒʳ ᵀʰᵉ ᴬʳᵗⁱˢᵗ

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> " ᵂʰᵃᵗ ᴵˢ Yᵒᵘʳ ᴾᵒⁱˢᵒⁿ "   
ᴵˢ ᵇᵃˢᵉᵈ ᵘᵖᵒⁿ ᶜᵒᵐᵖˡᵉᵗᵉ ᶠⁱᶜᵗⁱᵒⁿ ᵃⁿᵈ ⁱᵈᵉᵃ'ˢ ᴴʸᵈʳᵃᵏⁱⁿᶻ, ᴴᵃˢ ᶜᵒˡˡᵉᶜᵗᵉᵈ ᵒᵛᵉʳ ᵗʰᵉ ᵖˡᵒᵗ ᵒᶠ ʰᵉʳ ᶠᵃᵛᵒʳⁱᵗᵉ ᶠᵃⁿᵈᵒᵐ ᵒᶠ ᵃˡˡ ᵗⁱᵐᵉ, ᵀᴹᴺᵀ
> 
> Book Two Out Now! 
> 
> This Story Contains #Turtlecest. 
> 
> ໓໐ຖ't likē, ໓໐ຖ't rēค໓.
> 
> After Raphael and Leonardo think that their brothers are dead from a warehouse explosion, they mourn the deaths of what remained, including the lie and betrayal of their father faking his own death to keep them safe. Raph and Leo try to move on, but more than twenty surprises hit them in the face like a ton of bricks when Donnie and Mike return to the lair after a fight for adventure. Feelings begin to bloom over the loss. And drama forms and rains over their heads like a storm.
> 
> Falling In Love With Your Own Sibling Was Never going to be easy-- but getting them to love you back was a challenge-- Only in reality-- they all loved each other just as equal. 
> 
> Read ᵂʰᵃᵗ ᴵˢ Yᵒᵘʳ ᴾᵒⁱˢᵒⁿ to find out what unfolds right before their eyes, and to be there every step of the way as these four brothers discover what true love and sacrifice truly means to have exactly what you want.

ᵂʰᵃᵗ ᴵˢ Yᵒᵘʳ ᴾᵒⁱˢᵒⁿ

Cʰᵃᵖᵗᵉʳ ˣˣˣᴵⱽ

ᴬ ᴹⁱˡᵏʸ ᵂᵃʸ Fᵒʳ ᵀʰᵉ ᴬʳᵗⁱˢᵗ

[ Leonardo ]

Love Spelled Backwards was a story I read when I was about sixteen.

It was a book that was banned in the lair because Sensei didn't want us learning about anything except for Martial Arts and Ninjitsu. The ways of fighting- and sticking to the shadows, to learn to be and live by the Ninja.

But- I was curious. And disobeying my Father's orders, or rules, was definitely not something I was keen of doing when I was younger and here I am, today- still disobeying like a bad son nobody thought I'd ever be.

People above ground would usually punish their children for this. Maybe put them in timeout- or ground them as they have in the movies or reality TV shows.

I don't know how I'd punish my children. I don't even know if I could. 

Why Am I Thinking About Children?

It was sort of a secret I kind of held from my brothers. Though it was pretty stupid now that I think about it. Especially if I hid it from Donnie. 

But- Back then, and I still do, love to read. 

Master Splinter caught on eventually and found the books he had forbidden from me or even the lair, and gave me one of his inspirational speeches about what is, and isn't allowed, and what I should be focused on.

I always got angry when he was forcing me into Leadership because while Don was off studying with his own books and science, I wanted to join him. I wanted to share how much I enjoy that stuff too, and maybe complain to him about how our Dad was an unfair bastard. 

I wanted to know what other types of things were. I sort of figured that we too were apart of the human race. We walked on two feet; except four toes were our limit. We ate food with two hands, minus the six fingers, and spoke with our tongues as every other person did in the world. 

But just like others who avoided problems or fights, I for years ignored all my curiosity because I was forced into a life I wasn't actually ready for. 

I wanted other things-- I desired for something else. Something more than what I had already-- but I couldn't be greedy- or selfish, though I already accomplished those tasks; Which I took full responsibility for. 

At least now I have.

Those books I wanted to read, or at least the one I finished taught me some of the knowledge I yearned to know. 

It taught me about respect and downfalls of how these emotions can destroy you; but can they?

We live, breathe and die for these sorts of things, and as a Leader, was I meant to teach my brothers the ways of these respectful tunes? Or maybe, it was just me who needed to teach myself them, especially before I fell in love.

"It's interesting-"

"What?" I asked, still staring up at the clouds.

"Your weapons," Don said finally getting my attention as I sat up, "They are so mystical and unique. It represents you," 

"Mine are way cooler," Raph said making me shake my head.

"Are you kidding?" I laughed, "At least mine don't have mini grappling hooks on the ends like some lame keychain,"

Donnie elbowed me with a smirk on his face and continued to admire the sharp blades I now possessed, "Alright- fine, they are a little bit cooler," I then confessed while grinning towards my younger brother who beamed the red bandana.

"I'm not sure how I feel about mine," Mikey sighed, "I'm still not used to the whole knife-play thing"

"I told you, all you need is a little more practice with them, and you'll get the hang of it" I reassured and glance up at the sky again, picturing my little brother being almost as good as me with a knife or two.

"Donnie doesn't have much experience with em' either," 

"I have more than you think, Michelangelo," My mate teased, and stood up off of the grass and span his Bo around skillfully- with a kick in the air and landing swiftly on his feet, "We haven't been doing as much training here lately- it's nearly Spring"

"What's up with that anyway?" Raph questioned in my direction but I shook my head for an answer.

"Splinter hasn't been up my ass here lately about it-- he's been uh, really distracted with his own line of work, as have I" I clarified still watching Donnie work his magic.

"It isn't like ya to not train or go off for a fight-" the hot head continued, "Plus what's Sensei been up to anyway?"

"I don't know," I shrugged, "He said that he was trying to connect somewhere like he was back in Japan-- he didn't say why or to whom but to be honest-- I don't really care all that much," 

"Aren't you concerned about your Chi?" Mikey asked.

"Shouldn't we all be?" I retorted while looking between the four of us, but the air fell silent, "We don't exactly know what we're capable of, and controlling it is what's key here, so, from now on, keeping our anger at bay is the only thing we should be paying attention to-- especially you Raph,"

"Hmph," he growled in reply and wrapped an arm around his lover, and whispering something I couldn't hear.

"But is anger really the trigger?" Donnie asked, stopping mid-spin, "I mean, yours wasn't"

"What even triggered it in the first place, Leo?" Mikey cheerfully questioned, almost seeming sarcastic as pure usual. 

I looked towards Mike again, watching him get nuzzled, "It wasn't out of anger, that's for sure,"

His big blue eyes flash between me and Don, and something crimson flashed on his face, "Awh, were you two doin' it or something?" he giggles.

"What?" I asked, sounding kind of baffled.

"No, Mikey- we weren't," Donnie answered, then popping his tongue, "Unfortunately,"

I snapped my head in his direction, "What's that supposed to mean?"

"It means he's bummed about not getting any from ya," Raph butted in, making our youngest brother cackle with laughter, and he joined him with small sniggers. 

I rolled my eyes, "He'll be getting plenty when I'm ready to give it to him,"

Donatello dead stops and glares at me with bright red cheeks, "They get it, Leo," he said, making me laugh along with them.

"Leo has changed," Mikey teases.

"Oh yeah, he's not afraid to say shit anymore," Raph agrees.

"I've never been afraid first of all, and second of all, I wasn't the one who was terrified of confessing my emotions for Don," I clarified with a smile, as I leaned back on my hands. 

"At least I didn't rape Mikey-" Raph continues to laugh.

"You kinda did," Mikey giggles flicking our brother in the snout making him snarl. 

"I did not!" Raph denies shoving his hands against Mikey's lower abdomen, beginning to tickle him, "Ya little shit- why would ya say such a thing?" 

"Hah, s-stop!" the younger laughs trying to shove Raph's hands away- "You did, so don't say you d-didn't, haha!" 

"Enough you two," Donnie announces making them both look up and Raph quickly removes his hands, almost looking bummed, "We need to do something-"

I stare at him for a moment- realizing my immaturity and sighing loudly- "Do something?" 

"About what?" Raph asks, looking towards me and I shrug with knowing eyes. 

"Splinter," Donnie says, "He needs to know,"

"Know?" Raph scoffs, "I don't think that's the best thing to do right now, Donnie," 

"I agree. Why would we do that?" 

"Because, aren't you tired of it?" Don said sounding a bit worked up so suddenly.

"Tired of what?" I questioned, though I knew what he meant. 

"Of hiding-" Mikey threw in with a mumble, "I wish we could tell him too," 

"Well, You three all know we can't do that- he'll freak out-- or worse," I sigh standing up.

"You can't be serious, Leo?" Donnie said with shock in his voice, "We can't just keep living in secret-- I think we hid in the closet a little too long- wouldn't you agree?"

I went quiet for a moment- knowing he was right. 

He was completely right- both of them were. We needed to tell someone besides April.

We needed to come to a decision and find a plan. And making plans wasn't exactly something we stayed good at. They mostly failed, even with the best secretive training in the world. 

But this wasn't some mission involving a burning building- it was what those people say is, coming out. 

I guessed.

I've seen enough movies where people even get killed for being who we are, and it's discriminating for me to even think about. 

Why would you be murdered for loving someone?

"We will, alright-- it'll happen, I just don't know how," I admitted while shaking my head.

"It's only right for us all to be open about it-" Donnie says stepping closer to me while grasping my left hand, and staring me in the eyes, not ripping away.

"I'm just scared, Donatello," 

"We'll find a way- Okay?" he whispered leaning into me and connecting our lips boldly- But I kissed back without hesitance, and deepened the kiss, missing the way he tastes, and the way he'll get shy when I run my tongue along his bottom lip and ask for entrance, which he so easily lets, and acts so eager for me, which was such a strange turn on, but I loved it.

"It's getting late," he breathes pulling away and pecking me once on the mouth, "Let's get back to the lair before Sensei starts to notice,"

"Do we have to?" Mikey whines being brought to his feet. 

"Yeah, we do, it's nearly past seven," I said heading for the woods, "Plus, if you guys truly wanna go through with the whole, coming out thing-- then, we need to make a plan, and a damn good one,"

"I don't know how the hell we're going to do that-- might as well tell him and just get it over with-- the lair always has been our home. It's not his anymore!" Raph barked, which I secretly agreed with, but I was tired of the nonsense between us. 

"Yeah, well, we have to be smart about it-- so, just keep it in your pants, will you?" I asked looking at my brothers, and they both nodded except for Donnie who kept walking- he seemed upset.

I walked after him and caught up at his side, "You alright?"

"Yeah, why?" Don answered, keeping his eyes forward as we entered the tunnels. 

"You seem tense. Anything on your mind?" 

"Just nervous, like I was with April- I cried when I told her," he sighed and I furrowed at him. 

"Let's just get home, okay?" I said walking ahead of him, already feeling the guilt sweep over me like a tidal wave. 

Once we got back to the lair, it was a few hours and Donnie started to prepare Dinner, Mikey went to his video games and Raph sprawled on the couch watching him. 

I heard the creak of a door open as I sat down on the sofa, waiting- and knowing who was coming-

"Where were you?" Splinter asked, having his hands placed behind his back while entering the lounge. 

I lowered my head but instantly looked in my father's direction in the hope he'd believe a lie. But he wasn't a dumb rat as Raph called him; he wasn't stupid. Especially if his kids were trying to pull something smooth on him. 

"We went out for a bit," I answered honestly-- for now.

"Just for a run," Raph answered too, as the giggles from Mikey filled the room making things less tense. He always wore those damn headphones while he was playing-- no wonder his reflexes were off-center.

"Was I speaking to you, Raphael?" Sensei said in his most warning tone. He was obviously frustrated. 

Raph tilted his head to one side and glanced away in an urge to control whatever he was about to say- "No,"

"Right-- so, where did you go, Leonardo?" he continued, pushing the issue on me. 

I sat up and rested my elbows on my knees, "We went through the city and sat at the old construction site-building near the town square, and had lunch,"

I saw Donnie appear in the archway stretching into the kitchen, and he was watching me doubtfully- and so was Raph out of the corner of his eye, and I knew that Mikey could hear what was going on. He was just pretending-- like always.

"You all were gone for an awfully long time," he stated looking down at me from where I sat- "Do you play me for a fool, Leonardo?"

I watched him, hooding my eyes, "What?"

"Do you or do you not, my son?" 

"No," I muttered, "No, I don't," 

"Then why are you lying to me?" he asked bluntly- making me clench my fists.

"I didn't fucking lie!" I cursed standing to my feet, making Mikey turn his head towards us, "So, I don't know what you play me for, Dad, but it's bullshit!"

"You know better than to use your vile language towards me! You know what could happen!-- Do not test me, Leonardo!" he said, bringing his voice to a near shout and that's when Donnie came into the room to stand next to me. 

"What's going on?" he asked, pretending to be concerned.

"He thinks I'm lying about where we were!" I answered on a tightly clenched jaw.

"Something-- something odd is going on with the each of you," Master Splinter confessed, sounding bashful-- though quiet.

"Hey- keep me the fuck out of this, would ya?" Raph butted in. 

"Nothing is wrong with us, Dad!" I snapped, "Do you have any idea what we went through in Japan?" 

"Leo!" Mikey whispered harshly towards me, shaking his head to get me to stop, but I stopped caring at this point.

"No, my son, I don't-- but do you think I don't know how hard it was for each of you when I left? When I lied like I did-- I am very ashamed!" 

"I don't give a shit! You put us through hell, and on top of that-- and to think I agreed to go to Japan to just find you!" 

"What?" Donnie gasped, "You said we didn't go for him. You didn't care!" 

I glanced at him, ignoring that bit for now, "You aren't the only liar, we're all liars, and we're all grown! We're different because we're men, and we know things now that you didn't want us knowing when we were growing up!" 

"Whatever do you mean, Leonardo? I tried to teach you everything the world had me prepare you for!" he clarified slamming the end of his cane to the ground. 

"What we now have-- us, God, You have no idea, Dad," I began to laugh. 

"Leo, don't-- this isn't the best time," Donnie warned, but I pulled away from the grasp he tried to put on my hand. 

What was I gonna do?

I couldn't be any more hypocritical than I am right now-- but I was boiling over the edge. 

"I think I agree with Don here, Leo, shut the fuck up!" Raph said.

"What are yous' talking about?" Sensei questioned as my brain was feeling like it was going to implode just from hearing his voice. 

"No, I'm done with the games you guys!" I shout putting my foot down, "Sensei we- we're um, we're together!" 

"What do you mean together, my son?" Splinter questioned looking at all of us, as Raph stood to his feet- preparing for something bad to happen. 

As if it would. 

"I didn't wanna do it like this-- I wanted to make a plan, but we're all so stressed out over it-- you came back, like this, while we were just starting out with who we now are, and I'm so sorry you had to find out like this, Master Splinter, but-- we're together, and when I say together, I mean, together!" I confessed with the last breath in my throat and grabbed Donnie's hand.

The look on Mikey's face was horror. He stood close at his mate's side, and grabbed his hand too, waiting like the rest of us. 

"Is this true, Donatello?" Splinter asked as if I wasn't already standing here pouring my guts out to him. 

Don was doing that lip-biting thing-- and he looked pale, almost sickly- but he glanced at me blinking rapidly and then down at our father and nodded, "Y-Yeah, it is Sensei. We're Gay," 

Splinter looked at Raph and Mikey where he hid behind our brother's huge arm, then back at me, lowering his eyes in the most devil-like expression I had ever seen on him.

"No," he said darkly and turning to walk away but I scoffed loudly.

"No what?" 

"No!" he shouted stretching an arm out to make things even more dramatic than they already were, "This will not continue-- I didn't hear anything you just told me! I forbid it!"

"You can't do that!" Raph yelled this time.

Our father stared up at him with that same face, "I can do whatever I please, Raphael, this will stop in an instant! Under my household, you will focus on what needs to be focused on, and you will do as I say-- when I say it!"

"Oh, fuck you! I'm not standin' for this shit-" Raph sneered all while heading for the door, pulling Mikey with him. 

"Raph, wait!" Mikey pleaded, trying to make him stop but his feet dragged along the concrete as he was pulled from the lair. 

"You can't be serious?" Donnie said quietly making Sensei look up at us, "You're supposed to be supportive-- someone we look up to,"

"Donnie," I muttered leaning into him, but he continued. 

"We were scared because of this, and what we've been fighting for all these years, and avoiding but now that we have it-- you hate it- what was the point of any of it?" he questioned further with hurt in his voice, but I pulled on his arm. 

Our father just stared up at the both of us from across the room-- his expression remained the same, in disgust and disbelief. 

"We're leaving-- and we're never coming back," Donnie promised while yanking away from my grip and heading for the exit.

I lowered my head with a sigh, "I'm sorry-- Master Splinter," I muttered before leaving without another word or glance. 

The decision was made, and the cat was out of the bag as Mikey would say--

It was all out and confirmed. We were humiliated-- and ashamed really- But now, there was no home, no place to turn to. 

Was this my fault? Maybe I should have waited. 

"Why'd ya have to go and do that?" Raph snapped in my face, shoving me as we jumped a building-

I shoved him back without care, "It needed to be done!"

"You said you wanted a plan! Real great plan oh fearless one!" he shouted, but Mikey interrupted by standing in between us, staring up at Raph with a warning face of his own.

"It doesn't matter now," Donnie announced, checking his watch, "I'm calling April,"

"What?" I walked after him, "Don't do that!" 

"We don't have any other choice, Leo!" he said before hitting the dial, and walking away-- in hope we'd be quiet enough for him to talk.

After about four rings, the familiar feminine tone picks up, sounding pretty groggy- I didn't realize how late it was until we left the lair. 

"Donnie?" she answered, "Is everything okay?"

"No," he responded rubbing his temple, "Look- I know it's late, and I'm sorry if I woke you, but we um," he paused, and the other line was quiet- "Can we come by?"

"We?" she asked sounding more awake than before as I paced the top of the building- earning a few occasional glares from Raph, but I brushed him off. 

"Yeah, all of us, we really need to um-" Donnie began but April cut him off. 

"Of course you can!" she beamed, sounding sweeter than ever, "I'll unlock the window,"

"Thanks, April- we'll see you soon," Donnie said, saying his goodbyes. 

"What're we gonna do there, Don?" I questioned, reaching my hands out confused, "She can't afford to babysit the four of our problems like she used to!" 

Donnie didn't answer me, He just took off running- and taking the usual route towards the apartment buildings down south. 

We of course followed, but the night was only just beginning with what we now carried. 

I wasn't so much hurt-- but disappointed. 

Once we arrived at April's place, the window was already open, and she was moving around in her tiny kitchen, making something that smelled of chocolate. 

She looked just as happy to see us, and as always gave us her best smile and greeting ever, but once she saw the look on our faces-- all things positive, flew out the door.

"What's happened?" she asked, looking between the four of us and holding two mugs in each hand that had steam rising from the top. 

"Splinter," was all Mikey said before sitting on one of the bar stools placed directly by the island in the kitchen. 

April placed a mug in front of him, and he eyed it with suspicion, but almost instantly knowing what it was and taking a sip, "What about Splinter?" she asked.

"Where's Casey?" Raph questioned while speaking up and grabbing a cup of his own, and he grimaced at the smell. 

"Oh, he's in Minnesota visiting his parents, they moved there last fall, and he thought to make a trip before we move was a good idea-- though he fought with me on leaving me here alone in my condition- I told him I'd be fine, and if I had any trouble, he knew who I'd call," she explained, making me smile on the inside while stretching her arms out towards me and Don.

"Thank you," Donnie said before grabbing one of the mugs, and I did the same. 

"Hot Chocolate is good for the soul," she said before returning to the kitchen and waddling on her way like a penguin. 

She was truly getting bigger. I didn't think a girl her size could, but the bump underneath her bathrobe got larger every single time I saw her. 

"So, You guys still haven't answered my question, what happened?" she then said, bringing the answer to my attention, but I didn't exactly know how to explain it. 

"Our dad is a bastard, that's what happened," Raph said licking the foam from his lips after he had taken a drink from his cup. 

"Raph," I warned, off then continued to answer her question in the simplest way possible, "We um, we told him," 

"Oh," she stopped, "How'd it go?" 

"Well, we're here, so what does that tell you?" Mikey answered before I did, and I couldn't have picked a better way to go about it myself. 

"Did he kick you out or something?" 

I shook my head and wandered over to the island, "We left on our own-- he forbid us to be together-- we've been hiding for months, there's no way we could be forbidden by our own father to love one another, it's just-- really messed up right now," 

"I can't believe he'd do something like that to you guys!" she said sounding a little pissed, "If something like that were to happen in my family- they'd be totally supportive and repulsive to the idea of shunning people out like that," 

"Lucky you," Raph muttered. 

"Well, you guys can stay here as long as you want- you know my home is always yours unless my landlord stops by" she smiled with sincerity making me wish we didn't need to hide as we do. 

Only the police headquarters know as far as we go, and occasionally call in, but it's been months since the last page. 

We were countered little helpers for the city-- but I was beginning to understand the meaning behind why my brothers always argued about training or fighting anymore. 

We'd forever stay good at it and move within the winds depths, but times were changing-- and things now, would never be the same. 

It wasn't going to be easy-- but when was it ever?

Life for us turtles never began easy- and it never will end that way.

ᵀᵒ ᴮᵉ Cᵒⁿᵗⁱⁿᵘᵉᵈ


	36. ᴮˡᵃⁿᵏ Sᵖᵃᶜᵉ

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> " ᵂʰᵃᵗ ᴵˢ Yᵒᵘʳ ᴾᵒⁱˢᵒⁿ "   
ᴵˢ ᵇᵃˢᵉᵈ ᵘᵖᵒⁿ ᶜᵒᵐᵖˡᵉᵗᵉ ᶠⁱᶜᵗⁱᵒⁿ ᵃⁿᵈ ⁱᵈᵉᵃ'ˢ ᴴʸᵈʳᵃᵏⁱⁿᶻ, ᴴᵃˢ ᶜᵒˡˡᵉᶜᵗᵉᵈ ᵒᵛᵉʳ ᵗʰᵉ ᵖˡᵒᵗ ᵒᶠ ʰᵉʳ ᶠᵃᵛᵒʳⁱᵗᵉ ᶠᵃⁿᵈᵒᵐ ᵒᶠ ᵃˡˡ ᵗⁱᵐᵉ, ᵀᴹᴺᵀ
> 
> Book Two Out Now! 
> 
> This Story Contains #Turtlecest. 
> 
> ໓໐ຖ't likē, ໓໐ຖ't rēค໓.
> 
> After Raphael and Leonardo think that their brothers are dead from a warehouse explosion, they mourn the deaths of what remained, including the lie and betrayal of their father faking his own death to keep them safe. Raph and Leo try to move on, but more than twenty surprises hit them in the face like a ton of bricks when Donnie and Mike return to the lair after a fight for adventure. Feelings begin to bloom over the loss. And drama forms and rains over their heads like a storm.
> 
> Falling In Love With Your Own Sibling Was Never going to be easy-- but getting them to love you back was a challenge-- Only in reality-- they all loved each other just as equal. 
> 
> Read ᵂʰᵃᵗ ᴵˢ Yᵒᵘʳ ᴾᵒⁱˢᵒⁿ to find out what unfolds right before their eyes, and to be there every step of the way as these four brothers discover what true love and sacrifice truly means to have exactly what you want.

ᵂʰᵃᵗ ᴵˢ Yᵒᵘʳ ᴾᵒⁱˢᵒⁿ

Cʰᵃᵖᵗᵉʳˢ ˣˣˣⱽ

ᴮˡᵃⁿᵏ Sᵖᵃᶜᵉ

{ Smut Warning }

[ Donatello ]

. . .One Month Later. . .

Going back to the lair wasn't the best idea I had in mind. But I wanted to show Sensei that neither I or my brothers were afraid of him.

He treated us like children, and I wanted to prove myself to him and for my brothers that we clearly weren't anymore.

Leo wasn't on board with me returning- but I needed some things- and so did they-

It had been a whole three weeks since we left and April was seven months along with her pregnancy and as the days went on, she seemed to become tiring and always sat around more than jumped about the place cleaning or always being active.

April was a girl of fitness and reality- she always had to be on the go, and once we noticed her downfall, things started to become strange. She took more naps and would eat less and less. 

We started to worry- and even today- it's half past three and before I left she was where Mikey and I had been sleeping the entire visit which was the couch. Her stomach was huge, and she was beautiful.

She'd argue with us on occasions for random reasons, then flip a switch and say she's sorry all while I was explaining why to my brothers.

Once Casey returned, he wasn't that concerned about our appearances, but he soon grew to love it as much as April did I guess. 

He and April seemed more tamed than we thought. 

They were truly a cute couple, and nothing in the world could separate them. 

On my way to the lair, I noticed what was left of the snow melting away on the ground outside and was sort of happy that the cold was disappearing before our eyes. Spring was ready to make its awakening and so was I.

After I hopped down into the sewers and closed the lid above me, I padded through the familiar tunnel archways and peered into the entrance to our so-called-home. 

It was utterly quiet. Too quiet- which wasn't much of a shocker when the four of us weren't living here currently.

I made sure to ready my hand at anybody who thought they could jump out at me. I silently figured that my father would leave too if we weren't here, and maybe somewhere in my head, I was worried that someone made a surprise visit too, but with my security access points, nobody can get in or out without me knowing to be honest.

I lowered my hand and quietly made my way for the lab doors and stopped once my fingers curled around the knob. 

"Donatello, is that you?" 

I inhaled sharply and turned my head to look over my shoulder, where I found my father, standing amongst the dark corners of the hallway going straight for his bedroom. He leaned both of his hands on the tip of his cane and walked forward to greet me.

"Hello, Sensei," I bowed but kept it short with a nervous swallow of my throat.

"I wasn't expecting you back so soon, how're your brothers, my son?" he asked with a cooly grin. 

"Fine," I answered, speaking quickly but sincerely- "They're fine, for now,"

"And you?" he then questioned making my heart thud in my chest.

I loosed my fingers from the door and let my arms fall at my sides, "How do you think I am, Master Splinter?" I muttered, though looking directly at him and being honest. 

He didn't answer at first- but a sigh slipped his lips and began to walk towards the kitchen, "Would you like some Tea, Donatello?" 

"No, I'm alright- I only came to grab a few things," 

Splinter stopped walking and turned slowly to analyze me, "I'd eventually like to talk terms, my son,"

"Terms?" I scoffed, "Are you kidding?"

I watched a moment as my father's expression turns dark, and warningly- but then it forms sad and regretful, "I understand why you are being so short with me, but you must have a little more respect for me than that, Donatello,"

"Why would I give you any respect after what you said to us?" I asked thickly while clenching a left fist.

"What did I say that was so wrong, my son?" he questioned back, making me spin with despair. 

"What did you say?" I repeated after him, now fully facing him instead of half, "Sensei, forgive my language, but you basically told us we were disgusting and un-fucking-acceptable to you because of how we grew to feel for one another!"

Splinter sighs heavily- "I know, and I'm sorry--"

"You can't just forbid someone to not be with someone they love, very much," I then stated, taking a step or two forward without really realizing it yet. 

"Donatello," he began with a close of his eyes, but then he looked at me, giving me his uttermost care, "I don't know what happened while I was gone, or what brought this to you, or your brothers, but the only thing I should be caring for now is how happy my children are, and if loving one of the same blood as you will- then I shall accept it-- I once too loved another in a warming way- and nothing was breakable, or irreplaceable, my son,"

"Why say this now-- why didn't you say this a month ago, when you basically threw all four of us out the door?" 

Master Splinter only stood inches from me now, "The long days- and agonizing traveling has made me greedy my son- and turned me into the old rat I had feared most-- in Japan, from what it seems- we all experienced our fair share of burdens, especially Michelangelo,"

I watched his face, wondering how or when he picked up on the senses from Mikey and what occurred back in Japan. But I assumed he didn't know the full story and how we dumped Toshiro's body in the NYC river bank. 

"In Japan, I was hoping that the word never got back to either of you, or your brothers, because the journey I was taking was dangerous in the sense of Ninja Tribunal, and with me working with them was never my favorite idea," he explained lightly- making me even more confused.

"Why were you working with them?" I questioned, furthering my suspicion. 

"It was a deal I made with them years ago before each of you and your brothers were even young men," he answered honestly while taking a seat in the recliner next to the couch while motioning for me to sit as well, but I didn't- "For years since the passing of my Master Yoshi, I have always wanted to find a way of bringing him back- and for once the decision I made was moving through as promised,"

"Bring back Master Yoshi?" I tilted my head, "You were actually trying to resurrect him?"

Master Splinter nodded his head before speaking and took a moment to breathe, as this subject seemed to be short with him. Speaking of his Master, his Sensei like this only brought pain to him.

"Since the day I began mentoring you boys, I wanted you to meet him, and for him to see all the work he's spread with his legacies. Donatello. My Master surely was an inspirational man, and I was fond of him very much- so, as soon as I heard my opportunity calling for me, I took it without a choice," 

"By leaving us," I mumbled not taking my eyes off of the rat.

He sighed, "Yes, which was awfully wrong on my part- but I truthfully knew in my heart that you four were prepared to take care of yourselves and see life for what it was, and you did!" 

"Mikey was raped when we went to Japan-- and Raph was nearly killed, and Leo went insane finding out where you went- especially after that letter you left for Mike!" I blurted out by stretching a hand towards my father who now had a shock in his eyes, even disbelief. 

"How on earth did this all happen?" he questioned quickly on a short breath after standing to his feet with the help of his cane.

I blinked and turned to go for the lab again, "We took care of it"

"Donatello, I knew something bad had happened, but I had not known it was that bad, my son-- if I knew--" he growled lowly rubbing the temples of his snout, "I wouldn't have been wasting my time!"

I stopped just as I slid the doors open, "What do you mean, wasted your time?"

"It was all for nothing- my son. My journey- all the pain I have caused you and your brothers- it was for nothing because as soon as I reached the watchtowers for the Tribunal legends, we were disappointed to know that life stone had been destroyed," he explained, making me turn again.

"How was it destroyed?"

"I think we are all familiar with his name," my father said, speaking as if he had sarcasm in his tone, which was rarely ever.

I watched him for a moment until our eyes met and my lips became a straight-hard-line.

"Shredder?" 

Sensei nodded, "From what we knew- and could find out- this happened centuries ago, or months prior to his death,"

"I can't keep up with how many times we've put him down-- but which one was it?" 

"All the stones were destroyed, except for one, which was one he presumed to refuse to touch, which was the visionary stone-- which means, the one and only Oroku Saki, was the one to destroy them and leave such a helpful one behind, untouched," 

"Oroku Saki was a man of visions, to begin with-- he wouldn't think, he would just do, and if someone wronged him or failed, they'd be slaughtered without remorse-- and from what I've studied about the elemental stones, especially the visionary one, if it's touched, everything about your past will be redeemed, turned to somewhat of a greater light-- he was clearly scared of what someone else would choose for his past, present and future," I went on, earning a proud smile from my father, though it wasn't something I was aiming for. I just knew things, which was why I always came in handy- and that was the only thing I was proud of here.

"You are correct, Donatello," he praised, though I already knew I was. 

But I couldn't be modest. I wasn't always right. I just had my moments, as every other person did on this greedy excuse of a planet that I for some reason, truly admired.

"One thing I have to know," I said out loud, not really knowing how to word it because the thought alone, made me sick. 

"Anything my son," he beamed, waiting for my question.

"Is there a chance, um," I trailed off, hoping to God some spell isn't awakened and it actually happens, "Is there a chance, that he could be alive?"

"We are unaware of a possibility such as that-- but believe me, Donatello, I would tell you in a heartbeat if I knew something like that- because since all ties have been crossed with the Tribunal- it means they made amends and even promised to let me know if anything comes across their radar-- they are still searching for the Mystics, and even they are presumed dead by the Shredders hand alone," my father said, answering smoothly and carefully-

"Alright- thanks," I said turning to go into the lab, but my father followed me, and watched me with care as I took a duffel bag and stuffed whatever I needed into it.

"How is April?" he asked out of curiosity- though I felt like he was purposely asking me these things so I'd stay longer.

"She's fine, a little slow, but fine," I answered, not really wanting to make him worry more than he already was.

"And your brothers?" he questioned for the second time.

I huffed looking at him, "Look- I know you're worried, but as you said, we can take care of ourselves," I said, continuing to put things into the bag that was filling up fairly quickly.

"Donatello, I will always worry whether I am here or in another country-- I did then, and I am now, and I always have. You are my son, my child, and so are your brothers, and I'd really like to talk about more than just negative energy-" he sighed, crossing the room to reach me, "It isn't fairly easy to find out that your children are-- intimate, but I'm learning by it, I am trying" 

Sensei grabbed my hand and held it tightly as I stared down at him, feeling my heart sink. 

I could see it in his face of all the regret and hurt he's caused himself and so have we. Especially Leo. But this was different.

"Can't you see how I'm trying?" he then asked, squeezing my hand a second time. 

I swallowed thickly and squeezed back, "I see it, Sensei, I see it-- but I need to go, okay?" 

"Will you be back?" 

Of course, I would be. I thought. 

I nodded, "I'll talk to the others, and see what they say-- even though they won't put up a small fight, but I'll try" I promised.

After my final words, and the last few things I had put in my bag- I put it around my shell and made a run for the exit. 

Once I returned to the rooftops, nothing but the weight was lifted from my shoulders. 

I wanted nothing but that for the longest time. And running along these familiar pathways to my friends' place was making me feel that burn of adrenaline in my veins if I went too fast. For once, I felt like I could breathe. Like I could jump and yell something exciting like Mikey would after we've kicked some butt.

I felt even better than I had in a long time. 

After a few more jumps, spins and twirls, I finally reached April's place, but once I crawled into the window, nobody was here. 

"Guys?" I said, looking around, but I heard nothing-

The place was small, so even if a crumb was dropped, I'm sure you'd hear it on these old hardwood floors. 

"Anybody here?" I yelled once more while checking April and Casey's bedroom, but nothing- the bathroom, nothing- and even the spare bed that was used for April's roommate a couple of years back. 

I went back to the kitchen and found a note on the fridge, which was signed by Leo.

"Sticky note, how typical of you, Leonardo," I mused snatching the piece of paper and reading the written words that were scribbled not entirely bad. Which surprised me.

As I was reading-- something dark overcame my head, and I leaned off of the counter, knitting my brows together. 

Don, if you come back and we're not here-- April had to be rushed to the hospital. Be back soon, - Leo

I stared at the note with a hole forming in my stomach. The Baby-- crap, what if something happened to the baby?

I dropped the note on the island and rushed for the window, but once I got there and was about to lift my leg up to jump out- Leo appeared and startled me so badly I fell back on my shell, which was cushioned from the bag I had on. 

"Donnie?" he said and I huffed out of annoyance.

"You scared me!" I groaned as he was helping me up with the grip of our hands, "Where's April?" I asked frantically before Leo stopped me. 

"She's fine, for now-- Jesus, how long were you gone? I left that note like three hours ago," 

"And you guys didn't call me?" I nearly yelled, making him giggle, "The hell is so funny about this, Leo? Where is April!" 

"Donnie!" he exclaimed, "April is fine! She just had a few minor difficulties after you left-" 

"Minor Difficulties as in?" I questioned further after putting my hands on my hips. 

"I don't wanna worry you," he sighed, "But- she went into labor,"

"What?" I gasped, "We have to get to the hospital!" 

"No!" Leo growled grabbing me by the arm before I hopped out the window, "You know we can't go inside the hospital-- plus, Mikey has been running Casey ragged all day about how she's doing! She is fine, it was a false alarm!" he reassured. 

I breathed in calmly and finally took the bag off from my carapace and placed it on the small kitchen table tucked into the corner of April's apartment, "I don't think you're taking this as seriously as the rest of us are," I bluntly stated pointing a finger and then resuming my search in the duffel bag.

"I am, Donnie, but she's not dead, and neither is the baby-- God, You act like it's your kid or something!" he exhaled. 

"I'm not fighting with you," I muttered, pulling a few items from the bag and placing them on the table, "Everyone should have clean clothes now," 

"I'm not worried about clothes, Don, but thanks anyway," 

"Good to see you too," I ridged, moving around the place to pick up anything considered trash in my book.

"What're you doing now?" Leo questioned.

"Cleaning-- this place will end up looking like the lair if I don't keep it in check," I answered, moving the dirty dishes into the sink before placing them carefully into the dishwasher and pressing the start button. 

"Speaking of the lair," Leo said moving towards me, "How'd that go?"

I looked at him and tilted my head, "Not as bad as you'd think actually-- he wants us to come home,"

"No," Leo said quickly but bitterly- "He was unacceptable to us, Donnie,"

"He's different now," I sighed, "He wants to try with us, and make everything up-- that journey he took when he faked his death-- he did all that just to be disappointed,"

"How?" he scoffed, "More disappointed than Raph when he found out that he was still alive?"

"Stop," I warned, "He went to Japan, to the Ninja Tribunal for his Master, Hamato Yoshi-- he was told there was a chance he could be resurrected, but once they discovered that the elemental stones had been destroyed- it was a shot in the dark from there,"

Leo looked at me like he saw a ghost- "Who destroyed the stones, Donnie?"

"What?" I questioned on the brink of laughter, "That's what you wanna know?"

"Who. Destroyed. Them, Donatello?" he asked again, sounding stern. 

I paused looking into his eyes, "Shredder-- But! He's not alive, this was done months before he died, centuries even as what Splinter said,"

"Are you sure?" Leo said in a short but angry breath. 

"Yes!" I said quietly leaning into him, "Never have to worry about him again," 

"Good, because he was becoming a real headache for me," Leo said before connecting his mouth with mine. 

All worry about my friend went out the door once my lips were on his. I felt at ease. I felt happy and for once, I was completely relaxed without work tumbling down over my head. 

I pressed the palm of my hands against his chest and moved them slowly until I was latched around his neck, bringing his head closer, deepening the kiss. 

Time seemed like forever, and hours seemed like seconds when I was kissing him, and soon things were heating up as I wanted. 

"Leo," I panted, but he ignored me, bringing my hips against his and pushing me closer to the countertops, and practically pinning me there, "N-Not here," 

He pulled back, but only inches, staring at me in the face with lust-filled eyes, "I want you now," he demanded, making my toes curl. 

"I know, but in April's kitchen?-- What about the bedroom? Spare bedroom," I suggested, correcting myself. 

"No, I don't even think it's right to do it here period, what about-- the rooftops?" he grinned smugly and I nudged him. 

"Might as well let the whole city hear us from there," 

"Hm," Leo hummed, "Oh! I know," he said taking my hand and leading me towards the window, but making sure to close it after we left.

I didn't know where Leo was taking me until my eyes set sights on the opening for the woods. He wanted our first time-- well, technically not first but second time to be somewhere discreet though quiet, and sweet. 

"You wanna do it in the field?" I chuckled, and he looked at me like I was crazy-

"Yeah, sounds pretty nice to me," he answered once we arrived in the flower patches stretching in a circle around a huge colony of trees. 

"It is, but-- what if--" I began but Leo cut me off with the roll of his eyes. 

"No one comes out here, I mean-- Come on, Raph and Mikey do it here all the time, it's the only place where we have a sanctuary of peace," he said sitting down in the grass. 

"So?" I laughed, becoming flustered, and sort of awkward considering the situation, "Just because our brothers come out here and get busy-- don't mean we gotta," 

"Just try," he said, making me fight a smile on my face, "Please?" 

I sighed in defeat and glanced around the area, as me being an expert at knowing my surroundings- nothing seemed off. But I kept scanning the trees, feeling a little dare-devil-ish.

"Alright- fine," I finally said, kneeling down on both of my knees, already feeling the heat in my cheeks surfacing and Leo smiled at me and brought me closer, wanting to soothe me, and I had hoped he sensed how nervous I was, which he did. I could tell by his as well, but we both together would hopefully burn away any of our bad long-awaited emotions for one another. 

"We don't have to, if you don't want to," Leo whispered, kissing my shoulder, and I tensed up, shaking my head.

"No, I wanna, I'm just-- I'm," 

"Nervous," he muttered close to my ear, making me loll my head off to the side. I felt another kiss at my shoulder, then my neck, and at the nape of it all, making me shiver with an already growing tightness behind the slit in my plastron. 

"S-So are you," I announced, turning my head to look at him and not even a second blew by and my lips were on his again. 

I needed to rid of my worry- or how scared I possibly was. I wanted this for a long time. Since Japan, where I envied quietly and greedily for my brothers and how much they did it.

You could smell it after they were done. And hearing the cries from our little brother wasn't exactly easy to ignore. 

My shell connected with the grass underneath me and Leo was over me, hovering my lips and kissing me with a heated, spiked tongue. 

I was the first to reach for the buttons on his pants and slowly unclasped them while earning a suggestive churr from him. I pushed my lips closer to his, wanting to earn every taste he has to offer me after so long-

Memories of Japan flashed through my mind, and before I knew it- we were both undressed with little difficulty- I couldn't even remember when he got my pants off, but I did remember when he made fun of my underwear. 

He loved my passion for space rangers and rocket ships, and even he liked the same things as I did. Which surprised me completely- but made me adore him even more than before.

"Shut up," I giggled going to grab my briefs from him but he grinned and pulled away while hovering over me still, "Give them!" 

"Oh, that's truly adorable, Donatello-- I mean, I knew you were smart- but not so smart that it traveled to places over the galaxy," he grinned, laughing with me.

I tried to knock the fabric out of his hands and wrap my arms around his neck while pulling him into another heated kiss to silence his laughter that seemed like music to my ears. His happiness was all I needed to move through my day. And it seemed that way for him as well. 

"Leo," I whispered in between kisses once he found himself between my legs.

"Hm?" he hummed, kissing down my jaw and over my neck, biting me where I like it most.

"M-Mm, I love you," I gasped when he bit down on the fleshy bit of my throat making me yelp and arch my back high off the grass beneath me. 

"I love you, Donnie," he whispered back into the nape of my neck, making my cock stir from its hiding spot and become fully erect. 

"P-Please," I begged, as the words I waited to hear sounded just as sweet as the very first time I heard them. 

"Please what?" he smiled against me as I grabbed the tail of his mask and pulled slightly making him look at me. 

"You know what-" I smirked in return, lifting one of my legs around him, which he didn't let happen.

I watched as Leo put my leg over his shoulder while spreading his fingers around the shaft of my member and giving it a few tugs, making me bite my lip, "Keep your arms above your head, will you," he said, not making it a question, but a command.

I silently questioned what type of kinky love fest he was going to turn this into. But I didn't care. I wanted it either way-- no, needed it.

Badly-

"I can only try," I said quietly though debating whether I should remove my glasses or not, but I decided that it didn't matter.

"Now, stay real still for me," Leo said with a strict tone that I was utterly used to. 

I didn't speak as I watched Leo lift his hips, where he grabbed his own erection and teased between my legs, making me tense. 

"Still, baby," he coaxed, massaging my thigh, "Don't make me tell you again,"

Baby

I churred loudly once the pet name rolled from his tongue, "Leo!" 

He pushed in, penetrating deeper, igniting the flames inside my body again and I writhed once, twice and three times. 

"God, Don," Leo rasped thrusting shallowly into me and pressing a light kiss to my mouth before grabbing my left hand and intertwining our fingers together. 

"M-More, I'm o-okay," I reassured, as my skin ached to feel more of him, so I disobeyed an order and dug my fingers into his shoulder, earning a growl from him. 

Leo moved more slowly and carefully- eventually finding a soft rhythm and hovered closer with my leg still over his shoulder, "Donnie was never a good boy, to begin with," Leo whispered on a short breath of air, thrusting his hips again, making me whine.

I curled my fingers against his chest- wanting to leave marks, and my prints to let my other brothers know who's boss of this turtle. They already knew but I wanted to show it- and I wanted the whole world to see who he belonged to. 

"I never will be," I churred, earning a sharp thrust from my mate, which led to him speeding up the pace moments later. 

I lifted my hips off of the ground to help Leo go deeper, and with that, he went harder, making cries of pleasure escape my lips, which he quickly silenced by sloppy kisses covering my opened mouth. 

I pushed against him, letting Leo grasp my hip and fuck into me faster, as he was heavily breathing on my neck, and driving me closer to my release, but I needed something- something more. 

"L-Leo," I moaned, moving both of my arms around his neck again while taking my leg down and pushing him back, and he landed on his shell once I was straddling him. 

I felt suddenly self-conscious, but good being of the opposite dominance. I quickly found a comfortable spot just below Leo's abdomen and kept about half of his erection inside of me while we moved. I then placed my hands over his plastron where his chest would be and lowered myself with a small slip. 

Leo was obviously surprised by me, but that's what I wanted. I wanted him shocked, and I wanted him proud. I needed the praise I knew he could give me just from what I was doing alone.

"My little genius wants to be in control, huh?" he asked cooly but grunting once I was sat on his cock, making my spine tingle. 

I nodded frantically without a single word and a loss of breath with the fullness I was experiencing currently-- and with the position I was in- it's exactly what I aimed to receive for what I secretly died for. 

"So b-big like t-this," I stammered, as he grasped my hips again, but this time with force and want behind his strength. 

I felt a sudden rush of wind pass over me, letting me smell the aura and aroma near me and beneath me, between Leo's sex and sweat- my own, and something unknown. 

"Shit, Don, keep going-" Leo churred, staring up at me with a heated look in his eyes, making me feel so powerful. 

I gripped onto his plastron while moving my fingers along his scaled skin and rotating and thrusting my hips at a skilled pace. As I moved, I felt a strong wave of confidence pour down my body and I wondered if this was what everyone felt while doing this. I'm sure my little brother was the King in the position.

I felt Leo's hand again, and this time it was a stronger grip than last time as his fingers wrapped around my shaft and began giving me experimental tugs and pulls, making me thrust quicker to work myself off. 

"L-Leo, ah!" I churred, dragging my nails down his chest, "Leo, y-you're going to make me--" 

Leo grunted and heaved beneath me, putting every inch of effort and power into his own thrusts and snapped up into me, brushing right against the special organ that set me off on an instant. 

My mouth hung open in a silent moan, as I felt him penetrate the deepest parts of me. 

"That's a good boy Donnie, c-cum for me," Leo growled on clenched teeth, forcing his pulsating cock against my prostate, and sending me over the edge as the familiar purple glow covered every stretch of my body-- and soon, blue was fading into mine. 

Our Chi was colliding-- and holy mother of God it was fantastic. 

"Leonardo!" I churred, triggering his own release which coated my insides like fresh paint. 

My cum covered both me and him with a few spurts and eventually, we both fell into shallow gasps of air, and silence. 

Good silence.

"Jesus, Don," Leo finally said after two minutes of quiet. 

I breathed in heavily as I lifted my head from his chest and admired his dazing face that looked just as precious when he was angry- or in one of his Leader Stances.

I started to giggle and hugged into him, "I think I did pretty good too," I grinned, not letting the unfamiliar smell from afar bother me of the slightest.

I figured whatever I was smelling was just an animal or something-- and maybe they smelt us too. But I didn't worry-- Leo was right. 

Nobody would be out here- and if they were watching I'm one hundred and one percent sure that they just got the show of their life. 

"Have you thought about what dad said?" I said, speaking softly as I traced my finger over the ink sketched into Leo's bicep. 

"Not really," he answered bitterly.

"Will you just think about it?" I sighed, "He's really worried, and he's trying Leo, I swear to you," 

"I'll think about it-- alright?" Leo said, making me lift my head again to get a good look at his face, and when our eyes met- I think I fell in love all over again. 

"You were meant to be doing that anyway ya goof," I grinned, kissing him softly on the cheek. 

I heard bushes moving- and wind escaping us again, but I still paid no mind, because if Leo didn't worry-- then neither would I.

And I wasn't going to begin to care anymore.

Why should I?

ᵀᵒ ᴮᵉ Cᵒⁿᵗⁱⁿᵘᵉᵈ


	37. ᴍᴇɴ ɪɴ ʙʟᴀᴄᴋ

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> " ᵂʰᵃᵗ ᴵˢ Yᵒᵘʳ ᴾᵒⁱˢᵒⁿ "   
ᴵˢ ᵇᵃˢᵉᵈ ᵘᵖᵒⁿ ᶜᵒᵐᵖˡᵉᵗᵉ ᶠⁱᶜᵗⁱᵒⁿ ᵃⁿᵈ ⁱᵈᵉᵃ'ˢ ᴴʸᵈʳᵃᵏⁱⁿᶻ, ᴴᵃˢ ᶜᵒˡˡᵉᶜᵗᵉᵈ ᵒᵛᵉʳ ᵗʰᵉ ᵖˡᵒᵗ ᵒᶠ ʰᵉʳ ᶠᵃᵛᵒʳⁱᵗᵉ ᶠᵃⁿᵈᵒᵐ ᵒᶠ ᵃˡˡ ᵗⁱᵐᵉ, ᵀᴹᴺᵀ
> 
> Book Two Out Now! 
> 
> This Story Contains #Turtlecest. 
> 
> ໓໐ຖ't likē, ໓໐ຖ't rēค໓.
> 
> After Raphael and Leonardo think that their brothers are dead from a warehouse explosion, they mourn the deaths of what remained, including the lie and betrayal of their father faking his own death to keep them safe. Raph and Leo try to move on, but more than twenty surprises hit them in the face like a ton of bricks when Donnie and Mike return to the lair after a fight for adventure. Feelings begin to bloom over the loss. And drama forms and rains over their heads like a storm.
> 
> Falling In Love With Your Own Sibling Was Never going to be easy-- but getting them to love you back was a challenge-- Only in reality-- they all loved each other just as equal. 
> 
> Read ᵂʰᵃᵗ ᴵˢ Yᵒᵘʳ ᴾᵒⁱˢᵒⁿ to find out what unfolds right before their eyes, and to be there every step of the way as these four brothers discover what true love and sacrifice truly means to have exactly what you want.

ᵂʰᵃᵗ ᴵˢ Yᵒᵘʳ ᴾᵒⁱˢᵒⁿ

Cʰᵃᵖᵗᵉʳ ˣˣˣⱽᴵ

ᴍᴇɴ ɪɴ ʙʟᴀᴄᴋ

The clock struck three, (the devil's hour) 

It was a late pitch-black night in New York City- and for once, things were quiet. Peaceful, even, until the strike of lightning hit time square. 

It began raining heavily and beating down on every car in the valley- and not even a second went by and another strike of thunder and lightning came crashing down over the night sky awakening anybody in the vicinity.

The unknown pitter-patter of wet footsteps was covering the dirt path stretching towards the governmental rehabilitation center. A couple of years ago, four creatures helped this place keep their dirty secret that nobody knew they held. 

It was more of a deal than a secret. 

The man who had been running for a whole hour was all soaked in his parka jacket but heaving heavily out of the mouth once he reached the double-decker doors, and two men wearing suits, stopped him from entering-

He took a sharp breath and practically pleaded, "You have to let me see him!" 

"The boss told you to never come back here, Mr. Chanley-- This is unauthorized grounds, and if you don't turn around, we will be forced to remove you," the guard on the left had warned before releasing his hand from the stranger's shoulder.

"Please, I have a crime to report!" he said, pleading with all of his life. He seemed completely under the weather, minus the thunder, and rain pouring over his head and wetting what hair he had left up top. 

Mr. Chanley was fairly middle-aged and cared far too much for putting people behind bars that didn't really deserve it. But what he had seen had to be told to someone he knew would listen. Nor his ex-wife or even the step-son he once admired would never believe him on this. 

"A crime?" the guard from the right scoffed, "What damn crime, ya crazy old man?" 

"I saw something!" Chad Chanley breathed, and coughing heavily afterward, "In the woods, I saw it! So, please, You gotta let me see him!"

For a moment the two guards stared at the graying man, not believing a cent that came out of his mouth. They and the man in charge here had been through this countless times, and before he was fired and let things get to his head, he was never as famished as he was now. 

The things he had seen, or witnessed over his lifetime was nothing like this. 

"He's not gonna be happy that you're here, but come on," the right guard finally said while grabbing Mr. Chanley by the arm and yanking him inside. 

Once inside the building-- he reminisced on his times working here in his early twenties and thirties and remembered just how bright the lights were, and how clean the floors were. 

He missed his time here, but this situation wasn't about getting his career back in science. It was about spreading the word about some alien lifeform, right here, on the very Earth itself. 

The men dragging him down a long hallway- finally stopped and swiped a pair of keycards that were attached to their belts making a sliding door open, which appeared to be an office of some sort after going up two flights of stairs. 

"My dear friend, Mr. Chanley!" a booming voice said, padding across the room, to reach out and shake his hand, while earning an alarming surprise from him, and the guards detaching themselves from Chad's arms. 

"Y-Yes, sir, I'm so sorry to intrude like this, but--" 

The words were spoken from Mr. Chanley, but the gash swung across his forehead was entirely unexpected, making him groan in pain while the guards didn't even flinch. 

"Didn't I give you a warning!" the strangely tall man, all in black with dark glasses yelled out of context while he cleaned off any fallen blood that splattered the cane in his hand that was riddled with marble and a diamond ball at the very top, "Didn't I my dear friend? Didn't I tell you to never come back here, ever, again for what you did last time!" 

"I-I have a--" Mr. Chanley croaked, but before he could even get another word out, another swing to the face knocked his head back sounding off a small crack to signal that his nose had been broken. Blood began to trickle down his face, and he reached to grab his nose, weeping out of pain and sorrow. 

"I've already had enough here. You have no place in my office, Mr. Chanley-- terminate him," the man waved off while turning to walk away.

The two guards before grabbed Chad by his arms once again, but he put up a simple fight of defeat practically dying to get the word out, "No, no! Sir, I have a crime to report! A crime I know you'll be interested in!" 

The man with the long black coat stopped before he reached his desk and slowly turned, "What makes you think I'd be interested in another one of your lies, Mr. Chanley?" he answered back so cooly that it sent a chill down the others' spines.

"I-I saw them!" he basically chanted. 

"Saw who, you deranged fool?" 

"These, um, these creatures. Green, creatures! Animals almost like, huge ones too, looked like a man like me and you! But they weren't! They weren't from here!" Chad rambled, scrambling his brain for anything-- and I mean any information he could possibly dig up from what he saw. 

The man in the long coat didn't speak for a long moment or two but finally, with a move, he lowered his eyes, and simply spoke with peace, "Let him go," 

The guards eyed their boss strangely- but obeyed, of course, and took a step back towards the wall, keeping their stance up incase this crazy old man made a move or something. 

"What were these creatures doing-- Mr. Chanely?" 

Chad didn't really think about how he was going to explain this bit-- because what they were doing wasn't really something you could explain. 

"They were um, there were two of em' and uh, they were in the woods, in this field of some sort-- flowers, Yeah! Flowers, and uh, they were doing something really strange," he tried to explain. Thinking that this was sort of humiliating in a way- because he knew what the creatures were doing-- he was just too damn ashamed to say it out loud. 

"Something strange?" the taller man repeated, becoming sort of puzzled, "How was it strange? These don't particularly sound like aliens, Mr. Chanley- so what fool do you play me for?" he began to yell, and Chad shivered, still holding his broken nose in one hand and his head in the other. 

"They were doing-- um, they were having sex, sir!" he stated, making one of the guards in the back crack a smile. 

They found this highly unbelievable and amusing at the slightest.

"Couldn't you have said Mating- Mr. Chanley?" the man had questioned with sarcasm, but he didn't bother waiting for an answer, and walked over to his computer, and had plenty of thoughts racing through his mind, "Green, Over-Sized, were they males, Mr. Chanley?"

Chad nodded frantically and quickly, almost feeling excited because he felt like someone was finally listening to him, "Yes, yes, sir!" he answered, nearly choking on his own breath. 

The man in the long coat hummed lightly and stared at the computer screen with entell he wanted to make sure of was right-- so he stood up straight and looked straight at his men, "I want a team out on the city as soon as possible, Manhattan specifically-- and I'm gonna need the outskirts of it scanned thoroughly- and be on the lookout for anything-- I'm sure whatever creature, Mr. Chanley is talking about is out there somewhere, and can't hide forever. No guns either stuns only-- tranquilized and tranquility only gentlemen, Move!" 

The guards quickly left the room, and everything was only just getting started for the rest of the upcoming week. 

This man had an idea, but he had to be sure, he had to and with the information that was brought to him today-- was only going to make things much, much easier for him, and his men of the government to track whatever species this was down and lock it away for testing-- or better yet to send it back to space where it belonged. But he couldn't think too quickly-- and he had to make sure by one of them if they were to harm or disengage. 

"We'll take it from here, Mr. Chanely-- be ready once my men have returned," he said, leaving the room, and leaving Chad to his own thoughts on the situation.

Images flashed through his mind. These creatures, they looked happy-- joyful even. Nothing like he's ever seen, and for a moment and only a moment--

He wondered, and even worried if coming here was a big mistake. 

ᵀᵒ ᴮᵉ Cᵒⁿᵗⁱⁿᵘᵉᵈ


	38. ᵀᵒᵐᵇ Sᵗᵒⁿᵉˢ

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> " ᵂʰᵃᵗ ᴵˢ Yᵒᵘʳ ᴾᵒⁱˢᵒⁿ "   
ᴵˢ ᵇᵃˢᵉᵈ ᵘᵖᵒⁿ ᶜᵒᵐᵖˡᵉᵗᵉ ᶠⁱᶜᵗⁱᵒⁿ ᵃⁿᵈ ⁱᵈᵉᵃ'ˢ ᴴʸᵈʳᵃᵏⁱⁿᶻ, ᴴᵃˢ ᶜᵒˡˡᵉᶜᵗᵉᵈ ᵒᵛᵉʳ ᵗʰᵉ ᵖˡᵒᵗ ᵒᶠ ʰᵉʳ ᶠᵃᵛᵒʳⁱᵗᵉ ᶠᵃⁿᵈᵒᵐ ᵒᶠ ᵃˡˡ ᵗⁱᵐᵉ, ᵀᴹᴺᵀ
> 
> Book Two Out Now! 
> 
> This Story Contains #Turtlecest. 
> 
> ໓໐ຖ't likē, ໓໐ຖ't rēค໓.
> 
> After Raphael and Leonardo think that their brothers are dead from a warehouse explosion, they mourn the deaths of what remained, including the lie and betrayal of their father faking his own death to keep them safe. Raph and Leo try to move on, but more than twenty surprises hit them in the face like a ton of bricks when Donnie and Mike return to the lair after a fight for adventure. Feelings begin to bloom over the loss. And drama forms and rains over their heads like a storm.
> 
> Falling In Love With Your Own Sibling Was Never going to be easy-- but getting them to love you back was a challenge-- Only in reality-- they all loved each other just as equal. 
> 
> Read ᵂʰᵃᵗ ᴵˢ Yᵒᵘʳ ᴾᵒⁱˢᵒⁿ to find out what unfolds right before their eyes, and to be there every step of the way as these four brothers discover what true love and sacrifice truly means to have exactly what you want.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> { During This Chapter, There Will Be A Couple Of POV Changes. You Have Been Warned }

ᵂʰᵃᵗ ᴵˢ Yᵒᵘʳ ᴾᵒⁱˢᵒⁿ

Cʰᵃᵖᵗᵉʳ ˣˣˣⱽᴵᴵ

ᵀᵒᵐᵇ Sᵗᵒⁿᵉˢ 

[ Raphael ]

Flashin' lights and fruity drinks weren't really my thing-- but a baby shower? 

When April mentioned it to me, I didn't know what the hell she was talkin' about, to be honest. She said 'Baby Shower' and I just looked at her and asked like a dumb ass that I am, and assumed it was a day where it rains children or something-- and she laughed at me until she nearly pissed herself, and thought I was joking- which I played off and just agreed to make myself look less of an idiot.

Donnie explained that its an event to celebrate mother, and child before its born. I didn't really see a big deal about it but I guess it was sorta exciting for a new family member. I wanted to at least make sure it knew how to defend itself or somethin' long down the road after we're gone.

Don also said that we had to get gifts for the thing-- and he always scolded me for calling it a thing- and I then wondered why he got so sensitive over the whole pregnancy thing to begin with. He knew so much about it. I wanted to know why or even how-- but it was his business really- and his hobbies with the internet which was something I didn't really care about. 

"Are you sure this was okay-- you know, with just having us at the party?" Donnie questioned April as she took a seat on the sofa cushion. She struggled to sit but she made the fall just fine.

"Yeah," Leo said, "Don't you want your family here?"

April giggled, "You guys are my family-- plus, me and my parents have never gotten along to be honest. Casey's mother and I didn't at first if you remember. But yes, its totally fine. I'd rather be here with you guys anyway," 

"When can we open presents?" Mikey beamed with excited eyes as he was staring at the pile of gifts on the coffee table that was wrapped individually with odd-looking paper. 

One had rubber ducks on it, and some with actual babies on em' and even bottles with those things the kid would suck on to help it sleep. 

I remember that Mikey had one, and he'd cry if you took it from him.

I smiled at him from the side, remembering the tantrums he used to pull. When he noticed me staring- he blushed crimson and swept his head away to distract himself with something else. 

"When April is ready, Mikey" Leo answered, but April being the Angel she was, she reached for the first gift on top of the pile which I didn't know was mine until she had it in her lap. 

Oh, God. 

"Who's this one from?" she asked looking all over the square-shaped box to find a name tag-- but I forgot to put one on it. 

The box wasn't wrapped either, but it was fine for what was inside. I just dreaded the beef my brothers were gonna give me for such a lame gift.

"Oh, I think that one is from Raph," Donnie said and knowing the answer like the smart turtle he was, considering he was the one gave me the box in the first place. 

April peered at me a little surprised and quickly lifted the lid off of the box and pulled out the small red sweater that I knitted not long after I was told about the party-- All because I didn't really know what to give her so I just said screw it and made something that I'd probably wanna wear as a kid besides that silly eye patch I was so obsessed with. 

"Wow, Raph, this is so adorable," she gushed with a huge smile on her face that made me feel intentionally proud for once.

"Yeah, he made that," Donnie then said, making me glare at him, where he just smirked in return.

"Oh, yeah!" Mikey nearly shouted, "I forgot that you knitted, Raphie!" 

"Shut up," I said as he giggled. 

"You made this? I didn't know you could do that-- this is great though, thank you!" she smiled. 

"It's no problem, maybe it'll keep the kid warm in the winter times," I responded with a bit of a smile of my own. 

After April unwrapped most of her gifts, she was grinning from ear to ear from all the interesting things everyone got her, including my brothers. Donatello had custom made a baby monitor that would never run out of batteries. Leo gave her a book about tips and taking care of the child, including extra diapers. I wonder how many it'll go through. And last but not least- Mikey had given the baby some type of onesie thing that was literally covered in pizza slices. 

But I stopped while everyone was laughing about how ridiculous the baby will look in Mikey's gift and let Master Splinter slip my mind. 

He would have loved to be here. And I'm sure he'd out beat us all on gifts. He knew a lot more than probably Donnie did about caring for children or even changing a diaper for all we knew. 

"Raph, is everything okay?" April asked, causing everyone to turn their attention to me, and that's when I was ready to blow my head off. 

"What?" I asked, out of thought, "Oh. Yeah, sorry-- was just thinking" 

"About what?" Mikey asked munching on a cookie in the shape of a baby rattle. 

Did Donnie make those? 

"It's nothin' really" I answered, standing up from the floor.

"Raph, You know we can tell when you're lying-- so just spill it," Leo said pushing a hand to my chest to stop me from leaving and I sighed heavily and hard. 

"I was just thinkin' about Splinter, alright?" I spat looking around the room. 

"Why?" Leo questioned further.

I saw Donnie staring at me. He then looked away tending to the dirty plates around the room. 

"You know why Leo. I mean, yeah, he fucked us over-- but, maybe what Donnie said he was sayin' was true, maybe he does wanna try" I answered honestly- obviously blowing his mind.

"You, Raph, of all people are actually considering what he said?" Leo barked back in my face, "He was unacceptable to us, there is no going back!" 

"Enough!" Donnie yelled, causing April to squeak as he slammed a plate on the counter but it didn't break, "The both of you, this isn't the time for fighting-- me and Mike planned to go see Splinter later after the party- he has a gift to give April, and I'm not just gonna be that despicable towards him," 

I looked at Mikey who eventually stood up to his feet after finishing another cookie, "When were you going to tell me about this?" I asked him quietly but he shrugged. 

"I didn't think you cared," he answered pushing out his bottom lip to prove he's pouting in the hope I don't get mad at him. 

I didn't really feel like being mad about anything right now, and Donnie was right. This wasn't the time or place for such things, and from the way it truly looked- Leo was the only one here not being sensible. 

"When are ya leaving?" I asked glancing at April who had stolen the plate of cookies and eaten three already.

"Well, if April wouldn't mind, we were kind of thinking now, so we could get back-- and still celebrate," Donnie explained, but April paid no mind and continued eating away at those damned cookies. 

"I don't approve of this, Donatello," Leo stated, lowering over Donnie who slipped on his backpack and prepared his weapon like always. 

[ Donatello ]

"It isn't up to you," I said looking at the blue-banded turtle I loved and yearned for, but I had to do this. 

"How is it not?" Leo questioned, stepping in front of me before I reached the window. 

"Would you just relax and stop trying to control everyone for just a second? Sensei wants to give April his gift, and I said I'd come by to get it," I defended planting a small kiss on his cheek before descending for the window again. 

"Why can't he bring it here?" Leo then asked, and for once, I honestly didn't have an answer for it. 

"Well, I don't know maybe because--" 

"He wanted to surprise you," spoke someone old, and familiar that slid in from the exact window I was about to crawl through.

"Dad," Mikey beamed with a small smile, completely catching me off guard.

"Sensei, I thought you said you'd wait up for me? You didn't need to come all the way here, the rooftops are dangerous for you," I said turning to face him in a scold like way but he smiled up at me with his furry face and twinkled his nose.

"Please, Donatello, I'm old, but not that old, my son," he teased, holding up a gift-wrapped box that was no bigger than the palm of my hand, "It's something very special, I really hope you like it, Ms. O'Neil," he said in her direction but she was startled being caught with crumbs on her face. 

"O-Oh, my gosh, where are my manners, I'm sorry Splinter," she giggled while cleaning off her face with a blue napkin and stood after a second and waddled towards us. 

She gracefully gave him a short hug and took the gift from his hand, and we all gathered around to see what he brought, except for Leo who kept himself rudely hidden a few feet away.

I didn't actually know what Splinter had planned to give April or the baby-- but it must have been actually special for him to come all this way- which was rarely ever. He always had said invading the privacy of another was bad company to keep. 

Once April got the wrapping off, a wooden box was revealed with very specific Chinese lettering on top of the lid. This was no ordinary box, it was hand-made and genuine. 

But being bilingual at the slightest I was able to understand the words and lettering- which read out something about love and cherished friendship. 

April quickly took a look at the four of us, and went to open the box, and inside from what I could see was a bracelet. It was beautiful- and was wrapped in ore between Sterling Silver, Platinum and even forty-two carrot Gold I'm sure. 

One charm was attached to the cuff, and it was in the shape of a crescent moon, with two stars dangling on each side. 

"Wow-- Splinter, I don't know what to say," April gasped, sounding like she was about to sob, and I think Mikey was too.

"No need to say anything, Ms. O'Neil, I'm happy to know it will be in your hands and used for something good instead of worse. My Master once owned this, and he had given it to his lover before she passed. It was meant to represent that neither he or she could ever be separated even if they were in other parts of the world-- or even no longer apart of it," he smiled, seeming happier than I've ever seen him. 

"You mean, Tang Shen owned that?" Leo spoke up, now pushing between me and Raph to see what was going on.

He was beginning to irritate me. He was being totally impolite, and disrespectful. I knew he was upset with our father, and even angry-- but I couldn't get the things he said out of my head, and nobody was going to prove me otherwise. 

"Yes, Leonardo," Splinter answered with a nod.

"That thing could be powerful, too powerful for the baby," Leo said, speaking like he was worried for no good reason.

"Leo, chill," Raph warned, but he shook his head.

"Leonardo, this bracelet holds only the good, and for whoever it gets passed down to will earn great protection and the best of purity-- do not worry- Master Yoshi would never risk another life like we have," Sensei reassured but boldly and bitterly. 

Leo huffed loudly and walked away-- obviously irritated at his failed attempt to ruin the mood any further than it was.

Sensei sighed and continued to hold his smile towards us.

"Thank you though, this is-- beautiful, and so unexpected!" April said before pulling away from another hug and with steady fingers, she slipped the bracelet on and beamed with joy. 

The piece of jewelry looked lovely on her.

"No need to thank me-- I know I haven't been around very long for the pregnancy but I'd at least love to show my care and appreciation for he or she," he grinned while leaning on the tip of his bo-cane. 

"It's gonna be a bouncing baby boy!" Mikey shrieked with glee as he hugged into Raph with excitement. 

"I think you're more excited than April is," Raph laughed, nudging Mikey in the ribs. 

"That's because she's letting him name it," I laughed with him, but he stopped halfway through and stared at me, horrified. 

"Name it?" Raph questioned. 

"We came to that conclusion when Mikey wanted to be the birth instructor," April said with a giggle going into the kitchen.

"You can't let him name that thing-- kid," he corrected, making me smile, "He'll name it somethin' dumb, like uh, Porkchop or some shit," 

"Hey!" Mikey whined, pinching Raph on the arm but he only glared at him not feeling pain at all from his smaller fingers digging into the flesh of his skin. 

"Actually-- you're pretty wrong about that one, Raph, he went with something pretty decent," I clarified, offering Splinter a cup of punch, and he gladly accepted it. 

Raph snorted, "What-- what was it?"

"Codey," April answered. 

"Codey Jones," I finished with a matching proud smile compared to Mikey's who looked bashful standing next to the much larger turtle in red. 

"See!" Mikey spit, sticking his tongue out, earning a hidden growl from his mate. 

"I think Codey sounds pretty nice too, well done, Michelangelo," Sensei cheered with the raise of his glass. 

"Why do you even care about this?" Leo shouted from across the room, causing the whole apartment to go completely quiet. I worried briefly if the landlord had heard since they only lived two doors away.

Our father lowered his cup again, and stared at his eldest son who I was getting ready to restrain. 

"Leonardo, I will not speak about these things during such a special event," Master Splinter warned calmly before finishing off the rest of his drink. 

"You sure do love making grand entrances," he barked, "You love surprises, you love lying-- and most importantly you love making your own sons feel like shit for being gay!" 

"Leo!" I growled at him quietly. 

"Shut up, Donnie, I've been waiting to get this off of my fucking chest!" Leo yelled, causing my eyes to blow wide and I felt a pinch in my heart. 

"Leonardo, Do not ever speak to your brother that way again-- especially to your mate!" Sensei scolded with a warning pitch in his tone. He sounded oddly different. Protective even. 

"Please, don't fight," Mikey said, making me even angrier with Leo. He was going way out of line. 

"You have no right to tell me what to do anymore, and you sure as hell do not have any rights for me and Donnie!" Leo responded with a growl, crossing the room and stopping himself only inches from our father. Raph stepped in before I did, and put an arm in between the two.

"This isn't worth it, Leo," he said quietly into his ear, and Leo softened at his words and slowly took a step back to his surprise. 

"I can see that the party is over, my sons-- Ms. O'Neil, I'm terribly sorry for the trouble, and I really hope you like your gift," he smiles at her, then waving off at us, and for a moment I saw a gleam in his eye and something odd on Mikey's face.

Something dark fell into the pit of my stomach once Splinter was gone, and Mikey ran after him and mentioned something about making sure he got home safely-- and I barely heard him. My head was spinning and I stumbled back. 

"Donnie?" April said struggling to get up off of the couch to be at my side. Her voice was faint and the touch of her hand on my arm felt like lava, "Guys-- something isn't right with him. Donatello, is everything okay?" she asked, but I didn't answer. Her words were like wind, and my body felt like stone. 

I heard my brothers talking on about something and Raph practically yelling at Leo to wake the fuck up. 

"Donnie!" April yelled at me, but I suddenly yanked away from her grip as a gun fired. It began to rain outside, and my head shot up in the direction of the fire and I quickly ran for the open window and didn't even hesitate to start jumping and climbing more faster than I thought I ever could.

I didn't know if I was being followed, but I didn't care, I just saw something happen right before my very eyes. A Vision maybe, a time lapse in the configuration of time and space. 

The rain was burning my skin too, and once I made it to the rooftop, I was looking around in the dark and saw nobody until my eyes found the source of the bullet. 

"Sensei?" my voice was all but a mutter. A whisper maybe. 

My feet felt like someone tied concrete blocks to the bottom and I couldn't move, but the power I was holding back pulled me forward and I ran to my father's side, looking for the wound, any holes, bleeding-- and sure enough, the hole was in his chest. Right in the middle near the left side, and the smell of blood was astonishing. 

"I-I'm here, Dad!" I said on a short breath, trying to see through the rain droplets faintly staining the frames of my glasses and when I applied pressure to the wound, he yelped at me, "W-What happened, Can you tell me?" 

"D-Donatello," Master Splinter croaked with a bit of a ratty squeak, "They took y-your brother," he said, struggling to breathe. He was dying.

"Don, what the hell is going--" I heard Leo say from behind me once thunder shook the sky above us. He stopped speaking at the sight before him. His voice cut short and when I looked up from our father's corpse, his face had paled. 

Next to come up here was Raph, and once he saw what I was up to, he didn't even ask, he ran over, sliding to his knees, "The fuck happened? Dad!" he said a little too loudly as Splinter yelped again, staining my hands and the bandages wrapping my hands and wrists with his blood, "He's fuckin' dyin' Donnie! What happened!" 

I watched my father reach a shaky-hand outward towards his eldest son standing at the edge of the building-- still frozen from the sight. He wanted him, he actually wanted him after everything that had happened. 

Leo made small steps after a moment and came forward and fell to his knees, not saying anything until Splinter grasped his hand and gripped it tightly. My eyes were beginning to burn, and holding back whatever was to come was no longer going to be possible. I continued to apply pressure to the bullet wound and even thought about trying to locate it and maybe pull it out. But it would be too deep, too late, and too slow of a damn process. 

"L-Leonardo, this may be a bad time, b-but, I love you all very much, and I'm sorry f-for all the trouble," Master Splinter said, coughing and croaking on his last breath. 

"N-No!" Leo breathed, nearly on the verge of sobbing and he gripped the hand of our father even tighter, "You shouldn't be apologizing for anything! I'm the bad one here! The bad son-- I'm so sorry!" 

"Donnie, ya gotta do something!" Raph pleaded, making me look at him sideways, but the knowing look on my face with tears streaming down my cheeks put fear in him. 

"R-Raphael son, there is nothing he can--" he coughs again, "-do. You have only one task now, Y-You have to save your brother!" 

"What?" Raph questions looking at me, then at Leo, "What's he talkin' about-- where's Mikey?" 

"They took him!" I blurted out, hearing the sobs fall from Leo's mouth. 

"Guys?" someone with a lighter voice called, and when I saw April reaching the roof, I nearly shouted for her to stay back, but I didn't have the strength. 

She quickly came to us and realized what was going on, "Oh my god, what happened!" 

"You shouldn't be up here," I said, but she ignored me checking our father for the source of her own. 

Sensei grasped both me and Leo's hands and swallowed thickly before speaking-- "I'm s-so proud of you four, never-- ever, forget this, and please, accept my blessing of gratitude," he said but then gasped another cough. 

"Dad?" I said leaning over him as his head slowly fell back, and with a final twinkle of his snout, his grip on my hand loosened, and the same went for Leo's, and our father's hands fell from our grip and to his sides. 

"Master Splinter?" Leo croaked, shaking his shoulders, "No, no!" he yelled, "No, I'm fucking sorry! No," he cried and hovered over his body. 

"Leo," Raph said trying to pull him away but he shoved him and fought to get our brother off of him, but failed, "He's gone, man!" 

April began to cry as well, and I felt like my own cries were swallowing me whole. I wanted to scream, or maybe kill someone, kill something-- I felt something I've never felt before in my whole life, and for once, the urge to hurt anything was on the very verge of my mind. 

ᵀᵒ ᴮᵉ Cᵒⁿᵗⁱⁿᵘᵉᵈ


	39. Sᵘⁿʳⁱˢᵉ ᵂⁱˡᵗⁱⁿᵍ ᴿᵒˢᵉˢ

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> " ᵂʰᵃᵗ ᴵˢ Yᵒᵘʳ ᴾᵒⁱˢᵒⁿ "   
ᴵˢ ᵇᵃˢᵉᵈ ᵘᵖᵒⁿ ᶜᵒᵐᵖˡᵉᵗᵉ ᶠⁱᶜᵗⁱᵒⁿ ᵃⁿᵈ ⁱᵈᵉᵃ'ˢ ᴴʸᵈʳᵃᵏⁱⁿᶻ, ᴴᵃˢ ᶜᵒˡˡᵉᶜᵗᵉᵈ ᵒᵛᵉʳ ᵗʰᵉ ᵖˡᵒᵗ ᵒᶠ ʰᵉʳ ᶠᵃᵛᵒʳⁱᵗᵉ ᶠᵃⁿᵈᵒᵐ ᵒᶠ ᵃˡˡ ᵗⁱᵐᵉ, ᵀᴹᴺᵀ
> 
> Book Two Out Now! 
> 
> This Story Contains #Turtlecest. 
> 
> ໓໐ຖ't likē, ໓໐ຖ't rēค໓.
> 
> After Raphael and Leonardo think that their brothers are dead from a warehouse explosion, they mourn the deaths of what remained, including the lie and betrayal of their father faking his own death to keep them safe. Raph and Leo try to move on, but more than twenty surprises hit them in the face like a ton of bricks when Donnie and Mike return to the lair after a fight for adventure. Feelings begin to bloom over the loss. And drama forms and rains over their heads like a storm.
> 
> Falling In Love With Your Own Sibling Was Never going to be easy-- but getting them to love you back was a challenge-- Only in reality-- they all loved each other just as equal. 
> 
> Read ᵂʰᵃᵗ ᴵˢ Yᵒᵘʳ ᴾᵒⁱˢᵒⁿ to find out what unfolds right before their eyes, and to be there every step of the way as these four brothers discover what true love and sacrifice truly means to have exactly what you want.

ᵂʰᵃᵗ ᴵˢ Yᵒᵘʳ ᴾᵒⁱˢᵒⁿ

Cʰᵃᵖᵗᵉʳ ˣˣˣⱽᴵᴵᴵ

Sᵘⁿʳⁱˢᵉ ᵂⁱˡᵗⁱⁿᵍ ᴿᵒˢᵉˢ

[ Michelangelo ]

Just stay in here, and they won't be able to get you. 

I thought after I had woken up by the sound of thunder. The last thing I saw was a bunch of men running at me, and maybe Splinter. Everything was a bit blurry- but once I woke up I hid inside of my shell to make sure nobody would touch me again. 

If these banana heads-- whoever they were, wanted me, they'd have to come in and freakin' get me. 

From the way things were shaking and rattling around I knew these dudes were carrying me off somewhere, and plus, it sounded like it was raining really hard outside all of this and I could hear voices. A few were muffled and others right next to me. 

"The hell is that?" someone asked as I poked my head out a small bit to see the area, and from what I could see, the building looked huge, but deserted. It definitely didn't look familiar. 

I wondered how long I was asleep after they shot me with one of those stupid darts. 

"Oh, it's like a shell-thing of some sort," another voice said sounding lighter than the other. 

"Is there anything in it?" the man said tapping on the top of my shell like it was some sort of door. 

Ugh.

"Yeah, he's in there," the other one replied with a laugh, "Just hiding"

"He?" 

"Yeah, he!" I said raising my voice, "Ya Douchecanoe,"

"It talks too," he laughs, "What's up with all the patterns on here?" he questioned, as I felt the tips of his finger tracing the top of my shell, "Kinda cool,"

I heard a slapping noise and he stopped touching me, "He seems to not like being touched, so, be careful man, this thing might bite your finger off," 

"Whatever, let's just get it inside to the boss,"

Things began moving again, and before I knew it I felt a huge gust of wind enter from the top of my carapace, and I heard a door or two opening and from what little curiosity I had, I leaned upwards to check out whatever was going on again, and I saw a long white hallway with double doors on each side and dudes in lab coats were lining the walls as well. 

The hell was this?

The men who were carrying me must work for some sort of militia. It definitely wasn't the Foot and from all we knew, Shred-head was dead. 

He stopped coming around after a couple of years ago. And nobody knows where he went- all I knew was that I was happy about it. 

He no longer was becoming a nuisance for either of us. It was one less thorn in my shell. 

But now, it seemed like one thing after the other. Us Mutants couldn't catch a break, and I guessed that was just apart of our lives. 

Don always said we didn't have time to get depressed over such things, and we had to keep moving and keep going on with things no matter how difficult it got.

Especially after everything-- it had been a year already--

I inhaled a large breath before hearing more voices. People were talking about something I couldn't quite understand and whispering things. 

Lab Coats and long white hallways only meant the government type crap, and that also meant something bad was going to happen. Which was something I always feared since we went above ground. 

I remember when Master Splinter used to tell us about what people would do if they saw us in person. Turtles like us wouldn't be looked at like others up there, and people would report us to one of those secret agency places, where they'd experiment on us and take our blood, and probably remove our skin for testing-- I mean, he didn't say that bit but that's what they'd probably do anyway-- or at least now they would. Just like that Sacks dude did to us.

But here's where I kind of hated my dad for making me fear the outside world so much. It was a place where freedom had another name, and for God's sake, we were animals after all. Above ground was a place I always wanted to feel accepted, and I don't mean that awkward coming-out-of-the-closet type of acceptance. 

I think we established that bit a long time ago, or maybe a few months ago. 

I could still hear talking and way too much of it. Like-- so much that it was beginning to give me a freaking headache. Then things I could see in doubles, two more large doors opened and suddenly all the light was gone and things got really dark. The room commotion outside stopped moving and a cold surface of metal met the bottom of my plastron and I barely stretched my neck forward to see anything as the silence was beginning to swallow me whole. 

There were no more voices, no more movement and clearly no more light and the dark scared me still. Leo couldn't make me face that fear no matter how good of a ninja I became. I simply couldn't stand it. Why-- because only God knows what is lurking in the shadows that's why.

"I'm very impressed," someone said, but sounding way darker and a little huskier than all the other neo-nazi voices I heard coming my way and but then again, he spoke cooly and way too calm for my liking- this dude, whoever he was, was playing at something really fishy, "Did he put up a fight?"

One of the militia guards (I assumed) cleared their throat and began to speak in response like he was waiting for a gold fucking medal, "No, sir. He went down fairly easy" 

"No complications?" the booming voice questioned as I listened intently.

"Negative but Affirmative, sir," the paperboy answered with a salute and a huge face splitting smile, I'm sure. 

"Good, now let's begin shall we," the darker one said, sounding closer than before and with a snap, it sounded like he put on a glove or something- Oh No. 

I had to get out of this. There was no way I was gonna become some sort of turtle-guinea. But I gotta think-- and thinking when I'm stressed isn't the best time to be thinking-- so think. Think Mikey-- what would Leo do-- wait. No, I know exactly what he'd do. 

He'd yell or scold at me for being so blind to my attackers and letting them shoot me with a damn dart. 

"These patterns look oddly familiar," the man said, tracing the markings on my shell like the other one did, making me shiver. 

He sounded fucking creepy-- and from the way this was going-- he was going to enjoy murdering and experimenting on my body after I'm dead more than I would, eating a whole pie of pizza in eight seconds. 

"Carapace readings-- these markings, these patterns, and ridges-- outlines so delicate but in rough shape, a sign of fighting and even combat-- skill and intelligence, but so, swampy--" the man paused his brainy speech about my damn shell and released a breath of air that almost sounded like a laugh, "Jesus, this isn't a damn alien at all," he suddenly shouted, "Get Mr. Chanley in here, now!" 

Alien?

Who the hell is Mr. Chanley?

I heard a bit of shuffling around at the end when things got quiet. And then another door opened, and more men entered the room. 

"Is there a problem, sir?" someone questioned, "Is that it?" 

"You tell me, Mr. Chanley," the dark one answered sounding a little angry-- and without a little realization, this dude sounded kind of familiar.

"W-Well, um, not exactly-- this thing had a body-- a head, sir and was armed to the teeth,"

What?

"That's because this thing you saw wasn't an alien, You moron!" the booming voice yelled again. 

"M-Maybe your men made a m-mistake, Mr. Bishop, sir, because I-I swear, I saw it-- in the woods!" Mr. Chanley defended, trying to make his stupid little story sound believable. 

This was why I was here. Someone saw us-- or one of us in the damn woods, that field-- wait- 

My eyes nearly popped out of their sockets when I heard the name sound off through the room like an echo. 

"Bishop?" I shrieked sticking my head out of my shell, including all four of my limbs, and sure enough-- it was him. The dude I, unfortunately, knew all too well. Him in all of his glory and black fucking trench coats. 

The overly tall son of a bitch looked right at me, probably feeling just as shocked as I was. More like shell shocked, because I for one, didn't expect this at all. 

"Michelangelo?" he said, speaking as if he hadn't said the word in a million years.

"That's the thing I saw!" the one in brown yelled, sticking a finger out to point at me. 

I scrambled to hop off of the metal table, and within seconds, more than three men were in my face with guns, until Bishop held a hand up to hold them off, "Back down," he demanded, turning to face the shorter man and slowly slid an arm over his shoulders and stretched down to his level, simply ignoring my shocked presence, "Are you sure this was the thing you saw, Mr. Chanley?" 

The dude looked up at him with the fear of God in his eyes, and even appeared a little pale for his skin and carefully nodded his head, "Yes, sir," 

"Well," Bishop exhaled, pulling away to take a moment in his own words, "This thing-- is no alien, nor a threat to this city and most importantly-- he is a turtle," 

"Yeah!" I said then cocked my head to one side, "Wait, why are you defending me?" 

Bishop didn't respond to my question but gave me a look of unworthy worry and stepped another inch away from me and the short dude he just corrected. His hands went behind his back, and from the look on his face, he was thinking again and having yet another moment with his own words to probably think up something else scientific to splatter back in this guys face.

The dark shades on his face glared from the lamps hanging from the ceiling and with a single two words, he spoke cooly and collectively as if his mind was made up ages ago. 

"Terminate him," 

My eyes widened as two men came forward and forced the shorter man to his knees as he was begging and pleading for them to stop, or for Bishop to reconsider. 

"No, no! Please, Sir, these creatures!-- We can't just let them walk freely! They aren't human!" he shouted, struggling in the guards' grip, trying to pull or yank away but he failed, "He's a freak!" 

But not even a second after the words left his mouth, the man to his left pulled a handgun from his holster and stuck it straight to the back of his head and pulled the trigger. The fire wavered over the entire room, making my ears ring and once the bullet pierced his skull, it came out the front of his forehead and blood flew everywhere like I was in a fucking movie. 

I felt some of it hit me in the face and I was utterly stunned. 

Mr. Chanley's words trailed off inside of my mind. Repeating themselves and setting a routine to torment me and what I just saw; which was something not entirely new to me. I've killed men-- well, a man, before, but seeing it happen like this was just-- wow. 

"Y-You didn't have to fucking kill him!" I suddenly said, making Bishop look at me, his glasses glaring off the light again. His expression was blank, and emotionless. 

"Michelangelo, I apologize for you having to witness such gruesome displays, but this man, he was-- just awful at times, and the business he used to work for corrupted his mind. When he worked for me, he had a brilliant way of putting things, until terms changed years later. As I never age, the world changes around me and has made me a very different man-- but, I can't allow people like this to waste my time," Bishop said, nearly making me gag.

I couldn't believe what I was hearing-- was he serious? This couldn't be him, could it? Maybe he's just lying-- they always do. 

He walked forward and stood directly in front of me as I cut my eyes at him and readied myself for anything and from the side, the man who was murdered was being dragged away to who knows where. 

"Mr. Chanley tried to expose secrets-- and information to the news daily about what we do here now, or even before, so I had to fire him and even threaten, but I had him make a promise to never return, or else things would end badly for him. I sent him off with a warning-- and when he came running again, of course, I thought this was some kind of sick joke, but the possibilities of meeting new species these days are very un-lengthy and when I saw your uh, well, You-- I knew then, I was just wasting my time, so forgive me, Michelangelo," he said, reaching a hand out, "This was all pretty much a misunderstanding for the both of us, and I hope I've caused you no bigger of a trouble than that fool has me," 

I stared up at him with a look in my eye that couldn't be knocked down with a frying pan to the jaw. I glanced briefly at his lingering hand and decided to not take it, "Who the hell are you?" was all that could come out. 

Bishop sighed and retrieved his hand and placed it back behind his body and took a walk towards a big black wooden desk in the corner of the room by some huge ass windows with long drapes covering the thunderstorm and view from the city outside. 

"I expected confusion coming from you-- and no, I don't mean that in an insulting way," he reassured, leaning back in his leather chair that reminded me of a mafia movie I watched a while back. The dude in the movie was filthy rich and got all the girls, but ended up dying in the end. It was pretty fucked up, to be honest, but I guess I kind of related to it in some aspect. 

Not the chicks part- but like, everything started out kind of good, but then things just rained down like hell on the guys head in a matter of seconds because of how hated he was. 

I didn't initially understand the whole aspect of the story-- that was Raph's bit. Scarface was his favorite movie of all time. 

"I guess me and your siblings have kind of had a rocky relationship from the very beginning and I don't expect trust or respect from either of you," he said with another sigh, sounding kind of disappointed about that one.

"Well, no dip!" I scoffed with the plant of my hands on my hips, "When they find out it was you who kidnapped me, they are gonna kill you!" 

Bishop smiled at me slightly and stood up from his chair again and slowly walked towards me, "I also expected that one too, Michelangelo, but-- as I said, this was all a misunderstanding-- so, if you wish to go, You may," 

"Go?" I laughed, "Right-- then you plan to kidnap me later after you've scoped out every nook and cranny I walk in, No thanks!" 

The two double doors that connected with the room opened, and quickly a single person walked in and was coming quite quickly-- it was a woman too. A woman scientist. When she saw me, she grimaced and was stunned for a moment but then turned towards Bishop and shook uncontrollably. 

"Mr. Bishop, sir. I have something to report," she said, speaking heavily on her last nerve.

"What has happened now, Amanda?" he questioned cooly, now facing her while I just stood there like an idiot. And for a moment, I kind of considered his idea to just fucking leave, but I couldn't. This was all too damn confusing and for the record, seeing Bishop again was like a reminisce on my childhood or something. 

"Well, um, sir, I actually don't mean to come off as a snitch, but um," she gulped, "I overheard some of your men speaking about a broken um, a broken command," 

"What do you mean, broken command-- Who said this?" Bishop continued, untangling his hands from behind his back, seeming a little more serious now. 

The hell were they talking about now?

"I know how you are about your men, sir, and when one of them disobeys an order-- You deal with them," she answered, speaking a little softer now.

"What was the order, Amanda?"

"When you ordered a search on the city for your um, reptile mystery--" she said, looking me up and down then turning her direction towards the taller man in that stupid coat that made him look like an off-brand Keanu Reeves from the matrix, "And if I'm correct on this, um- You specifically told them, no bullets, no real ammunition was to be used during the search, right?" 

"I told them to use tranquilized. It was a stop and go only!" he retorted on clenched teeth. 

"Unit Carper was speaking about one of his team men, purposely disobeying an order to anger you in a rage, while putting down um, some sort of rat thing during the search, sir. I-I'm really sorry for the intrusion, I couldn't let none of this go unheard to your very ears," she said, making everything sound like a faint noise. 

Bringing back the ringing in my ears. 

I swallowed back a large lump in my throat and glanced up at the man I once knew as the devil, and he peered at me for a moment-- catching the look in my eyes, and he knew. 

"Sensei," I muttered. 

My stomach was beginning to feel sick, and everything was spinning in a circle. I remember now. The gunfire. The ringing noises in the back of my mind. 

Michelangelo, watch out!

The words followed and faded in the back of my head before the bullet was fired. Then I simply felt nothing-- everything went black, and sleep covered me like a blanket of snow sticking to the ground. 

"Find Carper and the men he brought with him on the raid, and bring them to me, immediately!" Bishop said with a sharp tone, as I completely tuned him out, nearly falling backward, but I with only a small grip left in my arms, I caught myself on the metal table behind me and faltered in my late memories. 

It came to this, and it was me actually considering that maybe that short dude deserved to die.

Just like the one who fired the gun will. 

ᵀᵒ ᴮᵉ Cᵒⁿᵗⁱⁿᵘᵉᵈ


	40. ᵀʰᵉ Cʳᵃᶻⁱᵉˢ

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> " ᵂʰᵃᵗ ᴵˢ Yᵒᵘʳ ᴾᵒⁱˢᵒⁿ "   
ᴵˢ ᵇᵃˢᵉᵈ ᵘᵖᵒⁿ ᶜᵒᵐᵖˡᵉᵗᵉ ᶠⁱᶜᵗⁱᵒⁿ ᵃⁿᵈ ⁱᵈᵉᵃ'ˢ ᴴʸᵈʳᵃᵏⁱⁿᶻ, ᴴᵃˢ ᶜᵒˡˡᵉᶜᵗᵉᵈ ᵒᵛᵉʳ ᵗʰᵉ ᵖˡᵒᵗ ᵒᶠ ʰᵉʳ ᶠᵃᵛᵒʳⁱᵗᵉ ᶠᵃⁿᵈᵒᵐ ᵒᶠ ᵃˡˡ ᵗⁱᵐᵉ, ᵀᴹᴺᵀ
> 
> Book Two Out Now! 
> 
> This Story Contains #Turtlecest. 
> 
> ໓໐ຖ't likē, ໓໐ຖ't rēค໓.
> 
> After Raphael and Leonardo think that their brothers are dead from a warehouse explosion, they mourn the deaths of what remained, including the lie and betrayal of their father faking his own death to keep them safe. Raph and Leo try to move on, but more than twenty surprises hit them in the face like a ton of bricks when Donnie and Mike return to the lair after a fight for adventure. Feelings begin to bloom over the loss. And drama forms and rains over their heads like a storm.
> 
> Falling In Love With Your Own Sibling Was Never going to be easy-- but getting them to love you back was a challenge-- Only in reality-- they all loved each other just as equal. 
> 
> Read ᵂʰᵃᵗ ᴵˢ Yᵒᵘʳ ᴾᵒⁱˢᵒⁿ to find out what unfolds right before their eyes, and to be there every step of the way as these four brothers discover what true love and sacrifice truly means to have exactly what you want.

ᵂʰᵃᵗ ᴵˢ Yᵒᵘʳ ᴾᵒⁱˢᵒⁿ

Cʰᵃᵖᵗᵉʳ ˣˣˣᴵˣ

ᵀʰᵉ Cʳᵃᶻⁱᵉˢ

{ Smut Warning }

[ Donatello ]

The bathroom door was locked, and I was sitting on my knees, leaning over the bowl of the toilet spilling my guts out. Everything was so hazy and spinning again. 

My lungs and throat felt like they were on fire, and straining to breathe. Like someone had closed their fist over my windpipe. 

I sniffled ever so slightly and pushed the palm of my hand against the damp surface of my forehead and felt if I had a fever, which luckily I didn't. 

I leaned up a little further while still sitting on my knees and pushed hard against the floor to get myself straight, and eventually, I made it to my feet with a regain of my balance. After I flushed and splashed my face with some water, I noticed a different look in my eyes from the way I stared in the mirror. 

Without my glasses or mask, I looked like a totally different person. But I guess that's the way we all looked. 

I quickly shook my head, ignoring the sinking feeling in my stomach that already began to set in, as I knew what I was going to have to deal with once I left this room. I didn't even bother putting my bandana back on before I slipped my glasses back where they need to be until a knock on the door startled me. 

"Donnie," Leo said, his voice coming through the frame of the door as he wiggled the knob.

It took me a moment but I went for the doorknob anyway and let him in, and when I saw the look on his face, I nearly dropped to my knees again. 

"What's wrong?" he asked closing the door behind him to my assumption for privacy though I didn't see the point of it anymore, "I heard you throwing up," 

"I'm alright-- just felt a little sick was all," I answered with another sniffle, "Are you alright?"

Leo lowered his head for a second and then met my eyes, basically giving me my answer in silence, "I don't think none of us is alright,"

"Raph?"

Leo rolled his eyes and didn't really have an answer for his younger brother, "He went quiet about an hour ago,"

"Quiet?" I continued to question after I wet my toothbrush and stuck it in my mouth and began scrubbing around to get rid of the taste of puke on my tongue.

"I tried to calm him down about Mikey-- but he just walked away earlier," Leo explained, watching me in the mirror.

After I leaned over the sink and spit, I looked back at him and sighed softly still feeling a little queasy, "He's on edge, Leo," I muttered, "This is the third time he's lost him, what do you expect?" 

"Yeah, but-- there's no need in him taking it out on us, I mean, we're only trying to help him. Plus it still isn't easy to accept the fact that Splinter is--" 

"Stop!" I said abruptly and left the bathroom, but Leo caught my hand before I could get out the door. 

"Donatello, I'm sorry it's just," he sighed, "It's hard,"

"It's hard for all of us, and even harder considering Michelangelo doesn't even know about it yet and on top of that--, it's been two days! And neither of us has considered where he will be buried," I exclaimed on the verge of tears, and Leo just stared at me.

"Why were you throwing up?" he changed the subject, not taking his eyes off of me.

I finally raised my head to look at him, "I told you,"

"You never get sick!" he scoffed, "And you're just like me, we're both cold-blooded,"

"Leonardo, I got a little nauseated, that's all. I'm fine now, so don't worry about it," I reassured trying to push past him, but with the grip of an ox, he forced me to stay in the exact spot I stood in before.

"I know you, Donnie. You don't get sick-- and you sure as hell don't throw up, so tell me, what is the matter?" 

I looked straight at him and brought my brows together in confusion, "Can we just worry about finding our little brother, and maybe burying our dead parent?" I questioned, sounding brutal but honest. And Leo loved honesty- so this was something he couldn't deny.

"Fine," he simply answered before glancing towards the shower, "You wanna join me?" 

"Join?-- oh, um," I huffed, "I've got some work to do,"

"No, you don't," he peered at me. 

"Leo," I fussed, "Now isn't the time to be messing around,"

"Who said we were messing around?" he questioned with the tilt of his head. 

I watched his movements as he reached for the knot that tied the tails of his mask together and with only a twirl of his finger and a small pull, it came undone and revealed the rest of his face. 

I was always so used to seeing him with it on. It mostly never made a difference until it was off and I mean really off. The dark navy blue in the material always complimented the look in his eyes. Matching those baby blues that reminded me of the pacific oceans. 

"So, we're just two turtles showering-- correct?" 

He laughed, surprising me, "Yeah, I guess we are,"

"How are you so, chipper?" I asked leaning over the tub and switching the water on full blast.

"Because," he paused unfastening the belt around his hips, "I mourned the first and second day, and Sensei always told me that neither he or I should feel afraid of being alone. His spirit lives in us all, and its what we can repay him with, by spreading his will," 

I took a dab at the water temperature and it was feeling pretty warm so I stood up and prepared myself to get completely nude as did Leo. But during this, I couldn't come up with so much an if, and, or but about what he had just said.

It was nothing to argue with. I remember when Sensei told us all the same thing-- and this subject made Mikey nearly cry due to him being so young at the time and not being able to understand the meaning of moving on from someone's death. But Moving on wasn't easy-- so how could he have been so blind? So, inconsiderable? It all made no sense to me. But there was something I did understand, and that was letting his spirit live on and passing on the tactics he taught us to someone else, or better yet, our children.

Once Leo was in the shower, I followed suit; not really being used to showering with someone else except for when I was younger- but that was years ago. I had to think that I actually knew this person, and he had seen me naked already and was fully aware of how much I loved him, and how much I truly needed him now, more than ever. 

He stood under the water first, letting whatever stress he had fall clean off his shoulders. I couldn't help but stare at him. I couldn't but only look away but a second without becoming completely obsessed about him again, which repeated on a daily basis of the world reminding me of just how lucky I truly was.

The water rolled off of his biceps so smoothly and when his arms were raised into the air to rub the steam into his skin, veins, and muscles which caused his flesh to be completely exposed and stretched out until they popped, making themselves truly visible.

Sweet Mary and Joseph, he was fucking gorgeous. 

I swallowed thickly and kept whatever instinct I had deep down to not throw this terrapin against the wall and ravish him right here, and now.

"Want me to get your shell?" he asked, disconnecting me from my trance and I blinked rapidly and unknowingly almost forgetting that he could clearly see me staring at him. 

"What? Oh! Um, yes, if you don't mind," I answered bashfully and turned away to face the wall where Leo was already scrubbing the ridges around the sides of my carapace, making me wanna purr innocently- but I chewed at my bottom lip to keep quiet and for a while, I succeeded. Until his hands begin moving lower, and lower, making sure to get every inch of my shell until he hit the end, where my tail throbbed to keep itself from wiggling. 

"Someone likes the attention," he chuckled behind me, planting small kisses across the middle of my shell, causing my tail to tweak.

"L-Leo," I studdered pushing myself off of the wall to turn around, "You said no messing around,"

"I lied," he drawled before hoisting me up and planting my entire body beneath the water, exchanging a kiss that made me lose all sorts of control.

Our teeth scraped and clanked against each other with tongues unraveling the ends, and completely swallowing the taste and want behind our need for stress relief. 

The shower rained down over my head and splashed onto Leo's plastron, making small dabs of droplets appear on his skin so effortlessly. He looked like a Davinci painting from this angle and only made what I was currently feeling only ten times worse.

I didn't plan for this, and I fought with myself countless times with how I didn't need this. I wanted to grieve, and I wanted time to think about everything-- but fighting with myself alone was something I was used to. Leo didn't want to be alone and neither did I.

We needed to face the fact that we were actually a couple now, but we also couldn't forget that we were also brothers who just lost our father. But forgetting that we were related sometimes wasn't all that hard. Our love replaced everything that we ever worried about in that department.

"Lied," I stifled a laugh, tilting my head back after he released me from the kiss, "Leonardo Hamato, never lies," 

I felt him chuckle into the crook of my neck once my shell was pressed against the wall, "Hah, well, you gotta do what you gotta do when it comes to your partner,"

"We're meant to be getting clean you, knucklehead," I accused, running my fingers down the back of his neck and gripping him tightly.

"We are, we are, Don," he grinned with a flash of his teeth and pressed himself against me, "But before we do, I wanna make you feel good, make you forget about stuff for a bit. Even if it lasts more than five minutes. Just let me," 

"Oh, Leo," I breathed, rubbing the tip of my snout against his nose, "It's okay to grieve, to cry," 

My mate silences me with another kiss to the lips, which soon led to more than just a kiss. 

The water pouring over our heads made things hotter, steamier. It surrounded us, swallowed us up like a snack in complete heat. 

"Dropdown, Donnie," Leo demanded, forcing a churr from my lips as I felt his fingers delicately sliding between my legs. With little effort, I did as I was told and let my erection fall right into his hand, and he instinctively began to stroke it. 

"Y-Yes," I moaned quietly biting the tip of my tongue trying to silence myself as I pushed my hips into his hand, trying to thrust my way to completion. 

"Easy babe, I'm not done yet. I won't force you to cum as Raph would," he smiled, making the blood in my cheeks come to the surface. 

"R-Raph is rough," I managed to get out.

"So am I," he withdrew. 

"Jesus," I churred thrusting into his hand again, feeling the grip around my member tighten by the second.

Leo closed in on me, making sure I was pressed as far as I could go against the wall to hold me up in his own customizable angle. He held my legs apart already preparing himself up slick, and for a moment I held my breath until I felt the sharp penetration, sliding agonizingly slow inside of me. 

"Shit, relax, Donnie," Leo struggled, pushing between my legs, but I couldn't bring myself to calm down. I was purposely clenching my whole body to add extra intensity. 

"C-Can't," I panted, pulling my head from the hot water to get a breath of air away from the steam. 

"You want it to hurt?" he questioned staring up into my eyes, but I bit my lip again and shook my head feeling him slid a little deeper, "You do, don't you?" 

Maybe.

"I-It's not m-my fault that you d-don't prep me," I quickly defended. 

"If Raph doesn't then I won't," he grinned nearly making me crack a smile over his competitive personality which was cute at times, but during a spar, it definitely wasn't, "Plus, if you wanna be prepped, then do it yourself, Donnie-Boy," 

A whine left my mouth when he thrust sharply up into me, half nailing me to the wall and letting go, "God, I love it when you call me those n-names, ah," 

"Yeah? Bet your also a sucker for the way I talk huh?" he said during another thrust, then another, nearly knocking the breath out of me. 

"F-Fuck, Leo, yes!" I churred throwing my head back as he held a tight grip on my glistening thighs and thrust into me again, gaining his own rhythm. 

"Yeah, Don loves it when I talk all dirty to him," Leo purred into my neck making my toes curl. 

"Yes," 

"Louder!" 

"Yes!" I moaned rising to a higher pitch, my voice nearly cracking.

"Ha, that's my good boy. My little genius loves the attention, doesn't he?" Leo spoke, questioning my deepest darkest fantasies, "Doesn't he?" he asked on clenched teeth when his hand found my tail.

"Yes, Leo, Yes!" I churred, keeping my head tilted back on the wall, feeling myself getting closer and closer. The warmth in my stomach was blooming and getting ready to set off like a rocketship, "Harder, need it-- ah, harder," 

His rhythm sped up, angling himself differently while whispering darkly into my ear slit about how tight I am, how good I felt squeezing him fucking dry. 

His filthy mouth was my release. 

"Fuck, Don, how do you feel this good, shit," he cursed, resting his head on the brink of my shoulder. I cupped the back of his neck with my hand and brought his lips towards mine. 

Once our mouths came together, I was nearly there, "Gonna cum, gonna cum," I exclaimed loudly and desperately for him to go faster, "L-Leo!" 

"Let me see it, Donatello," he moaned against my lips, touching me just barely enough to taste it. 

Leo wasn't even touching me there and I was about to explode. He wrapped his fingers around my tail and gave the tip a small squeeze and I was done for. 

My back arched, making my shell scrape against the wall as he squeezed me tight and hammered his own hips into mine, and setting himself off like firecrackers.

My mouth was open in a gape, and no sound was released as my mess splattered between our plastrons, and around the same time, Leo pressed tight against my lips, tangling our tongues in a synced kiss once he came making me cry a final noise into his mouth.

After a moment of butterfly kisses and final frenchies, Leo let go of me and slowly lowered me down to my feet where at first was a little hard for me to stand up straight but the wall offered me some leverage. 

The water soon was getting much colder. But we got cleaned off just in time before we left the bathroom. Things felt a little less worry-worthy for me, and I guess my mate had a right to make me feel better. But none the less, it didn't make the situation any better. But for a moment or even a few minutes, I had forgotten.

Completely and utterly forgotten. 

"Hope you two had fun," stretched Raph walking in from the sewer exit.

I stopped to look at him, "Where were you at?" 

"Why?" 

"I didn't expect you to be running off at a time like this," 

"Well, I didn't expect you two to be off boinking one another while our little brother is God knows where!" Raph snapped, making me lower my head. 

"Back off, Raph," Leo warned, "We just needed a minute!"

"More like a fuckin' hour!"

"Would you two stop?" I interrupted, glaring between both of them and Raph admitted a growl that sounded far too quiet for someone of his kind. 

"Stop?" the one in red scoffed with a clenched fist, "Ya want me to stop, Donnie? I'm gettin' sick and fuckin' tired of losin' him!" he shouted, but without a choice of reply my phone that was lingering on the coffee table started buzzing uncontrollably.

I hadn't really remembered when I put it there, but without thinking I went over to it and expected the phone call to be from April, but it wasn't. The number was unlisted. Unknown even.

After I snatched the device up, I couldn't choose whether to stare or be afraid of who was going to be on the other line. 

Plus, who else could possibly get my number?

"Who is it, Donnie?" Leo asked stalking up behind me, followed by my other sibling who was still obviously pissed. 

"I um, I don't know," I answered as the phone continued to buzz, but then a light bulb lit up in the back of my head and I looked right at Raphael, "Where's Mikey's shell cell?"

"His phone? uh, I don't think he brought it with him when we went to April's place, and I definitely don't think it's here," 

I looked away and with the swipe of my finger, the call was connected, "Hello?" 

"D, it's me," 

"Mikey?" I gasped into the phone.

"Where are you?" was the only thing that could possibly come to mind, "Why didn't you call me through the Weba?" 

Which was another word I came up with that related to Bluetooth or something. All calls that came through always connected to my watch instead. But this one was different. The number told me a different message. Something secret. 

"Mikey?" Raph practically yells into the phone trying to grab it from me, and he succeeds once the little fight I put up was over, "Tell me where you are, right now!"

"Would everyone just calm down?" our little brother mutters through the phone, sounding a lot quieter than usual. 

"No, I will not calm the fuck down, Mikey! Where the hell are ya?" Raph demands, obviously still on edge. But who could blame him, and neither I or Leo chose to stop him because we wanted him home just as badly as Raph did.

We heard a sigh, "I can't tell you guys,"

"Why the fuck not? The fuckers who kidnapped ya killed dad!" Raph blurted out making the tension in the room thicken.

"I know," Mikey simply answered with another breath of air.

"What?" I finally opened up by stepping closer to the phone.

"My location is classified. Or at least that's what I was told,"

"I swear ta God, Mikey if ya don't tell me where you are--" 

"Raph, I told you, I can't!" Mikey bitterly interrupted, obviously under enough pressure. 

"Who's phone are you calling from?" I questioned, finally taking my phone back and walking a few inches away from the balloon getting ready to pop in the room.

"He let me use his cell," Mikey answered.

"Who did, Michelangelo?" Leo asked. 

"I can't tell you,"

"Why the fuck not?" Raph yelled from behind me.

"Look- I have to go, okay? I'll see you guys, soon," 

"Mikey!" Raph said, sounding breathless, "Tell us who the fuck took you!"

There was a long pause before another answer was provided. 

We all gathered around the phone and waited. 

"Bishop," Mikey finally answered before the line went dead. 

My eyes widened at my brothers, and Raph looked completely shook over what he just heard. 

"He's gonna kill him," our hot-headed sibling muttered. 

ᵀᵒ ᴮᵉ Cᵒⁿᵗⁱⁿᵘᵉᵈ


	41. Sⁱᵍʰᵗ ᴼᶠ Fⁱʳᵉ

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> " ᵂʰᵃᵗ ᴵˢ Yᵒᵘʳ ᴾᵒⁱˢᵒⁿ "   
ᴵˢ ᵇᵃˢᵉᵈ ᵘᵖᵒⁿ ᶜᵒᵐᵖˡᵉᵗᵉ ᶠⁱᶜᵗⁱᵒⁿ ᵃⁿᵈ ⁱᵈᵉᵃ'ˢ ᴴʸᵈʳᵃᵏⁱⁿᶻ, ᴴᵃˢ ᶜᵒˡˡᵉᶜᵗᵉᵈ ᵒᵛᵉʳ ᵗʰᵉ ᵖˡᵒᵗ ᵒᶠ ʰᵉʳ ᶠᵃᵛᵒʳⁱᵗᵉ ᶠᵃⁿᵈᵒᵐ ᵒᶠ ᵃˡˡ ᵗⁱᵐᵉ, ᵀᴹᴺᵀ
> 
> Book Two Out Now! 
> 
> This Story Contains #Turtlecest. 
> 
> ໓໐ຖ't likē, ໓໐ຖ't rēค໓.
> 
> After Raphael and Leonardo think that their brothers are dead from a warehouse explosion, they mourn the deaths of what remained, including the lie and betrayal of their father faking his own death to keep them safe. Raph and Leo try to move on, but more than twenty surprises hit them in the face like a ton of bricks when Donnie and Mike return to the lair after a fight for adventure. Feelings begin to bloom over the loss. And drama forms and rains over their heads like a storm.
> 
> Falling In Love With Your Own Sibling Was Never going to be easy-- but getting them to love you back was a challenge-- Only in reality-- they all loved each other just as equal. 
> 
> Read ᵂʰᵃᵗ ᴵˢ Yᵒᵘʳ ᴾᵒⁱˢᵒⁿ to find out what unfolds right before their eyes, and to be there every step of the way as these four brothers discover what true love and sacrifice truly means to have exactly what you want.

ᵂʰᵃᵗ ᴵˢ Yᵒᵘʳ ᴾᵒⁱˢᵒⁿ

Cʰᵃᵖᵗᵉʳ ˣᴸ

Sⁱᵍʰᵗ ᴼᶠ Fⁱʳᵉ

[ Raphael ]

"He's not gonna kill him, Raphael," Donnie reassured for what seemed like the millionth time while watching me walk a track into the floor.

"How would you know?" I asked, shooting him a glare. 

"Bishop, the guy-- he's different," 

I watched Leo and him share a look and it nearly disgusted me. Hearing and smelling them fuck in our bathroom made me nearly barf. I missed what was mine. I missed the only piece of sanity that kept me alive. It had been hours since Mikey's phone call, and the suspense of my patience was wearing down, and quick.

"Raph has a point-- how would you even know?" Leo questioned, taking his attention away from me, which I was thankful for.

"Don't you guys know? He's been in the shadows for years due to the space jams he's been collecting-- the guy never ages. So he's been making big moves to bring all alien life form peace and serenity-- He's like totally changed his view on people like us," Donnie explained; which I wasn't really listening because I cared about more important things. 

"I haven't heard or seen anything about him since early twenty-sixteen just before we fought Shredder," Leo said, making me even angrier.

"Can we focus here?" I stopped and yelled while throwing my hands into the air.

"Focus on what exactly?" Donnie huffed, "There are no leads. There aren't backdoors we can crawl into like a bunch of crazy animals, Raph!"

"Can't ya do some computer magic or some shit?" 

"No. He can't, Raph," Leo answered, "Bishop isn't the on-the-market type of guy. He's an in and out worker with no loose ends, and nothing can get in and out without being seen,* 

I growl loudly and storm for the tunnel exit, "If you idiots won't find him, then I fuckin' will!"

"Just slow down, where do you think you're going?" I heard Leo laugh after me, "I just told you, you can't!"

"Well, at least I can try because tryin' is the only thing I've got left" I muttered, knowing they won't hear me. 

Once I got to the end of the tunnels, something bright lit up the entire exit. 

I winced and quickly lifted my hands up to block the light coming through from blinding me, "Ah, what the fuck!"

"Raph, would you just wait a secon--" Leo called before he and Don caught up with me and went with the same reaction as I did, minus the whimpering from how sharp this goddamn light was.

"Hold your fire," someone said. But this voice barely sounded like a man, let alone a creature. Maybe audible, and dark.

I growled in the direction of the unknown voice, and the wet footsteps coming towards me only clinged to the ground like black ice during the wintertime.

The noises closed in, and in the distance, in front of all that light, I saw someone small, someone, familiar. 

"Raph?"

I very carefully took my hand away from my eyes and saw what I yearned for. 

"Mikey!" I ran forward and pulled him clean off of his feet, not givin' a flyin' fuck whether this dude saw or not.

Mikey released a small giggle and grabbed onto my shoulders with very little grip, but he held on for dear life and squeezed me back just as tight.

"Gentlemen," announced the voice again as he made himself known. His silhouetted frame blocked the light which now I assumed was a fuckin' car. 

As I set Mikey on his feet, I barely let him go an inch in front of me, "Oh, right-- um, Guys. I think we're past the introductions," 

"You are correct, Michelangelo," Bishop confirmed taking another step forward, allowing me to see him a bit better.

"You aren't welcome here," I muttered with a growl, but the man didn't seem fazed. 

I felt Mikey squeeze my hand a little tighter and I glanced down at him, "He isn't our enemy"

"How the fuck do ya figure?" 

"We already told you, Raph," Leo said walking forward to face the asshole who tormented us for years, "He's not the same man,"

"You're right. I'm not, Leonardo. But don't act so surprised of me being on lethal guard. I've currently come across a betrayal. I lie in my facility that has shaken my establishment to its very core," Bishop informed. 

God, this dude even sounded different. He even looked taller and I wasn't even about to begin wondering how that was possible.

"A betrayal?" Donnie asked coming forward as well, "What type of betrayal?"

Bishop just stared for a moment but he spoke with honesty and that was something I could give to him, "One of my men, made a mistake. A mistake that cost someone their life,"

The tension from where I was standing and around me suddenly thickened. We knew exactly what he was talking about and the anger that fueled my body rose like a bottle rocket. 

"It was you?" 

"Raph, please, let him explain," Mikey pleaded with a whisper, "It wasn't his fault!" 

I ripped away from him and huffed the air around me like a bull getting ready to charge, "You think I'm gonna believe this asshole?" 

"No, I expect you to do nothing like that. I expect neither of you to do that. But this actually was all a big misunderstanding!" Mikey sighed, looking towards the one all in black. 

"I'd listen to your little brother, Gentlemen. One of my ex-employees who managed things in the lab came across something in the woods not far from these exact sewers. He claimed that he saw two creatures that weren't from our planet, and when I asked what were these creatures doing-- he seemed very hesitant. But he spoke up and said they were er, well, I'm sure you are aware of mating in this season," 

"Woods?" Leo asked, making my curiosity peak. 

"I bet he saw us in the field," I said looking down at Mikey who nodded his head. 

"More likely us," Donnie announced, seeming more serious about his approach than we did.

"I took care of it," Bishop praised, but keeping a straight face.

"You took care of it?" I tilted my head, "What do ya mean you took care of it?"

"Don't push it, Raph," Mikey whispered to me again.

Leo stepped in front of me and went ahead with the talking like always, "Besides the betrayal. We are more keen on knowing about the one who is in the fault of killing our father,"

"Leo," Donnie scolded, but in defense, Leo ignored him with a hand held high enough to silence him. 

"The man who shot your father was a man who didn't take his job into consideration," Bishop answered, and we watched as he rose his fingers and snapped them so loud it echoed through the sewer tunnels.

Two men exited the car behind him and out tumbled a third one. The man was beaten bloody and blue and had tape over his mouth. I watched silently as they forced him to his knees and when he fell a sharp cry left his mouth as his bare knees scraped against the concrete. 

"What the hell is this?" I asked, feeling another squeeze from Mikey who grabbed my hand back after I had let it go. 

"This man broke the rules. He disobeyed a direct order, and laughed in the shame and despair of killing a man in cold blood," Bishop explained waving a hand over the man who sat uncomfortably on his knees, "I know this wasn't exactly the reunion we had in mind. But believe me, Gentlemen. There is nothing better than giving a reason to see you four again,"

"Why did you bring him here?" Leo then questioned.

"Because it is not my place to dispose of him. That and it was your father he murdered. As I said, I gave him an order and he disobeyed directly and purposely for the fun and amusement to impress others around him," Bishop scoffed, harshly smacking the back of the man's head who kept glaring at me. 

"So you brought him here, so we could kill him?" Donnie said with near amusement of his own, "Who do you think we are?"

"I think you are good people who obviously have rights. I will take full responsibility for fees and even provide whatever you need if that'll make things a little easier for you," Bishop announced with a slight smirk. 

"Get him out of here. Splinter will be buried in Japan, and you will fly us there," Leo said after a minute of silence. He turned and went back towards the lair, leaving us in complete shock.

"Leo, wait a damn minute!" I said going after him, "Go to Japan? We can't go back there!"

"Then stay-- because that's where I want him buried," he replied flatly but finally stopping to let me talk to him.

"Mikey can't go back there, and ya know that!" I scoffed with a growl, "Why didn't ya even consider cuttin' that fuckers head off and callin' it a day?"

"Because, I won't be killing any more people, Raphael!" 

"Don't give me that, Splinter Jr bullshit!" I half yelled, walking in front of him to stop him from leaving again, "Ya know ya wanted to! I did, we all did!"

"Dad wouldn't have wanted this! He still didn't even know about our recent affairs to begin with. We never mentioned that I killed a man in Japan, or how Mikey stabbed the guy who raped him to death!" 

"Leo," I laughed, "You and I, both know, that ya killed more than just that yogi in the towers, and we both know ya wanted to do it again. He took him from us when we were bein' bastards towards him, and it was your call!" 

"It was Donnie's fucking call!" Leo accused, shoving me backward to get me out of his way.

"I hate to break it to ya, but we aren't going back to fuckin' Japan, Leo!"

"The decision has been made, Raphael. If you don't approve then stay here with Mike and Don. I have some stuff to do there anyway-- and telling The Ancient One about Sensei's death won't exactly be an easy task," Leo sighed, and clenched his fists, "I'm done disappointing him,"

"What have you done that was so disappointing?" Donnie asked jumping down into the lair but with slow movements.

"Raph said we were bastards towards him. I agree, and now, I want to carry out a final wish I know he would have wanted. I want to bury him next to the man who taught him what he taught us. It's my decision," 

"So, you're just gonna leave?" Donnie asked gripping the stick in his hand.

I watched over the shoulder of my brainiac brother as Mikey peered around the corner with fear in his eyes. I knew that he hated hearing us fight and I'd wished a million times I could have stopped myself from getting angry with one of my brothers if it meant making him happy- but being the big idiot I am- I never think, I just work around with action.

"I won't be leaving forever, Donatello,"

"April is gonna go into labor soon. You want to miss out on that?" Donnie simply asked as his sentence didn't even sound like a question.

Leo looked right at Donnie, and with another sigh, "The decision has been made. I'm sorry" he said, walking away. 

"I'll be goin' with ya," I spoke right after, making him stop again.

"No," Leo withdrew, making his expression pointless.

"Yes,"

"No, Raph!" 

"My decision has been made too, and that's final," I grinned up at him from the first floor.

Leo shook his head and went to his room, quietly shutting the door behind him. 

When I turned back around, Mikey was standing right there and nearly startled the fuck outta me, "You're leaving?" he asked.

"Yeah," I answered after a second.

"Can't believe this," he huffed, "I just got back,"

"I know, but I can't let him go up there alone, Mikey," I argued, "And Donnie ain't goin' with him,"

"Well, I don't want you to go," Mikey fussed with small clenched fists and a pouty lip. 

"I don't want me goin' either, but hey-- I won't be that long I promise," I said leaning down to peck him on his lips, but he dodged the kiss and ran for the lab. 

I glanced towards Donnie who refused to look at me. 

"All of this. It's happened way too quickly-- and Leo's decision, his choice wasn't given to him. I don't see how he could leave us like this so soon. He thinks it'll all be fine, Raph, but it won't be, none of this will be, Especially with him becoming a fa--" Donnie stops abruptly and I stare at him a moment trying to piece together everything he just fuckin' said to me, "Hope you two have fun in Japan," he snarks, making his way towards the lab. 

There were lines in the family now. Lines you could either cross over in a negative or positive way. 

But today was different. There were no flames or fire. The decisions were made, and now there wasn't a turning signal to go back from it. 

Honestly, I wouldn't have even called this a family anymore if it hadn't been for Leo shovin' it down my throat every awakening day-- but I guess he now saw the truth. He felt it and it was utterly breaking him into pieces. 

I had to help him, and stop it from breaking him further, and if not by a lover, a brother or a friend, then a free-spirited warrior that my father claimed I was. 

I love you, Sensei.

ᵀᵒ ᴮᵉ Cᵒⁿᵗⁱⁿᵘᵉᵈ


	42. ᴳˡᵒᵇᵃˡ ᵂᵃʳᵐⁱⁿᵍ

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> " ᵂʰᵃᵗ ᴵˢ Yᵒᵘʳ ᴾᵒⁱˢᵒⁿ "   
ᴵˢ ᵇᵃˢᵉᵈ ᵘᵖᵒⁿ ᶜᵒᵐᵖˡᵉᵗᵉ ᶠⁱᶜᵗⁱᵒⁿ ᵃⁿᵈ ⁱᵈᵉᵃ'ˢ ᴴʸᵈʳᵃᵏⁱⁿᶻ, ᴴᵃˢ ᶜᵒˡˡᵉᶜᵗᵉᵈ ᵒᵛᵉʳ ᵗʰᵉ ᵖˡᵒᵗ ᵒᶠ ʰᵉʳ ᶠᵃᵛᵒʳⁱᵗᵉ ᶠᵃⁿᵈᵒᵐ ᵒᶠ ᵃˡˡ ᵗⁱᵐᵉ, ᵀᴹᴺᵀ
> 
> Book Two Out Now! 
> 
> This Story Contains #Turtlecest. 
> 
> ໓໐ຖ't likē, ໓໐ຖ't rēค໓.
> 
> After Raphael and Leonardo think that their brothers are dead from a warehouse explosion, they mourn the deaths of what remained, including the lie and betrayal of their father faking his own death to keep them safe. Raph and Leo try to move on, but more than twenty surprises hit them in the face like a ton of bricks when Donnie and Mike return to the lair after a fight for adventure. Feelings begin to bloom over the loss. And drama forms and rains over their heads like a storm.
> 
> Falling In Love With Your Own Sibling Was Never going to be easy-- but getting them to love you back was a challenge-- Only in reality-- they all loved each other just as equal. 
> 
> Read ᵂʰᵃᵗ ᴵˢ Yᵒᵘʳ ᴾᵒⁱˢᵒⁿ to find out what unfolds right before their eyes, and to be there every step of the way as these four brothers discover what true love and sacrifice truly means to have exactly what you want.

ᵂʰᵃᵗ ᴵˢ Yᵒᵘʳ ᴾᵒⁱˢᵒⁿ

Cʰᵃᵖᵗᵉʳ ˣᴸᴵ

ᴳˡᵒᵇᵃˡ ᵂᵃʳᵐⁱⁿᵍ

[ Donatello ]

The trip was planned. It was settled, and there was nothing I could do to change his mind let alone go with him.

I didn't want to.

I couldn't be reminded of the horrors from the place. Of its beauty and all the evil behind it. Seeing The Ancient One would have been a gift. But things for the last week have happened more quickly than anything ever. 

We never made plans this fast and settled on it without an argument. 

I didn't feel like arguing to begin with. And everything and what I was putting up with emotionally definitely didn't set the mood correctly. I felt smothered with negativity every single day-- and even Mikey felt the same.

The date was set and today was that day for them to leave. My mind was blown when Raph so voluntarily offered to join Leo in Japan. He was so upset with losing Mikey just days before and nearly exploded when he found out that Bishop was the one who started all of this; though Chad Chanley was the man who began the journey to an end.

It broke Mikey's heart when he heard the new announcement. Leo had said they didn't know when they would be back. I worried about the past relations with my older brothers, but I trusted them even a tiny bit to not betray me again. 

I trusted Leonardo's heart more than my own.

"Where's Mikey?" Raph asked me as he approached the couch I was lounging on while twiddling with the TV remote. 

I only raised my head to look at him for a second and then back down, "I think he's in his room with Klunk," I answered, "But I don't think he wants to see you,"

"Yeah, I know. But it's almost time to leave. Our flight goes in about an hour," 

"Well," I sighed, "I think it's best if you just leave without saying anything to him. He's not okay about this,"

"I don't really give a shit what ya think, Don," Raph scoffs with an itch to his chin, "Plus, Mikey thinks I wanna go, but I don't,"

"Then why are you?" I accused, shooting him a glare.

"I wanna be there for Leo," he answered quickly while moving around the living room to collect his things.

"When have you wanted to be there for the brother you fought with the most?" 

"Just shut up, alright! We ain't kids no more, Donnie, and I sure as fuck can't keep goin' on with life hatin' him! He wants to bury dad in Japan with Master Yoshi, and I won't let him go at it alone. Though he wants to,"

"He's stubborn. You should know this information," I said rolling my eyes and getting up from the couch.

Once I rose up, a large bang echoed throughout the lair, and soon Leo appeared from the tunnels and hopped down, completely ignoring both of us.

"The plane leaves in thirty minutes. We have to hustle if we're gonna make it there. Bishop has prepared a full move with Sensei's body and everything-- and I fully have his trust in this. So don't screw around, Raphael," Leo warned off going up to the second floor. 

"I thought the damn plane left in an hour. What changed?" Raph yelled after him, but I followed up the stairs. 

Leo went straight into his bedroom and started packing up, even though I knew he didn't carry very much when we traveled.

I slammed the door behind me and locked it for now, "Are you thinking this through still?"

Leo didn't turn to face me, and with seconds passing by he didn't even give me an answer until he was about to go out the door again.

"Donnie," he huffed, "Please, I have to go,"

"And I have to say some stuff first!" 

"Then talk, but don't stall me, I have shit to do!" he barked in my face, causing my jaw to clench. 

"You didn't even consider me. Or consider April-- what if you aren't here when she goes into labor?-- How long do you plan to be gone?" 

"Master Splinter is my only priority right now, Donatello. And When April goes into labor, Just tell her I'm sorry I missed out; Okay?" 

My shoulders lowered in disappointment. And when Leo pushed past me to unlock the door and leave, I didn't even bother going after him. 

I heard a shout or two from Raph, and soon the lair was filled with the silence I dreaded.

I slowly shut my eyes and took in a sniff as Leo's scent disappeared before me. 

I feared when I'd see him again. Raphael and Him together weren't good company to keep. And with whatever Leo was seeking from Japan besides the Resting Place for our Father, it wouldn't end well. And the decision he's made from scratch would only set us back months of recovery and even with how mad I was, I still missed him.

{ A Week Later | Three Days Before The Beginning Of March }

"How is she?" Casey asked after I closed the door to their bedroom. Giving April a minute alone to rest.

"She's stable," I answered with a sigh.

"And the baby?" 

"The baby seems pretty good too," I said, bringing up a chart from my watch that displayed a 3D diagram of April's stomach, and even a visual appearance of the child inside, "His heart is beating at a rate of seventy beats per minute. So, try not to worry too much,"

"Thanks, Donnie," he said running a hand over his shaven head, "I don't think April or I would have gotten this far without you or the rest of the guys,"

"Well, I'm not exactly a professional, Casey and neither are my brothers. But we try to get the job done the best we can," 

He sat on the couch as I slid my finger over the diagram, checking a few things. In case I missed anything or holes that I supposedly skipped over, "Yeah. Well. In my opinion, you guys get it done better than I could. This stuff has been so stressful. And so hard for April to adjust to. I mean, why do you think we've postponed the move?" 

I glanced up from the pictures on the screen, and carefully pushed my glasses up from the tip of my snout and looked at Casey a little confused, "I don't like the sound of where you're going with this, Cas,"

"I don't either. But Donatello, man, you gotta understand something-- the pregnancy-- it wasn't planned," he confessed, looking almost pale.

My bottom lip popped open from surprise, "But you seemed so happy when you brought April over to let us know," I said walking forward.

He chuckled, "Yeah. Yeah, I know, but-- when we got married- She kind of just dropped it on me, You know?"

"And?" I almost mocked, staring at him wide-eyed. 

"And! I wasn't ready for this shit!" Casey cursed, throwing his hands into the air. 

"You weren't ready to be a father-- yet you got her fucking pregnant?" I exhaled, not realizing until a second late that I was holding my breath. I don't normally curse the big words. But this was unbelievable.

"Look. I-I'm sorry Don. I'm just really nervous. I'm still pretty young and this all came on so fast- So out of nowhere. You have to understand," he explained with a drawn-out voice. 

"Have you even talked to her about this?"

He met my eyes, "Oh, no. Not yet. I don't wanna--"

"Hurt her," I interrupted, "Which if you did, you know what'll happen,"

"I'd probably get slaughtered by you four," he laughed, making it sound like a cruel joke. But it clearly wasn't for me. 

"Look, Casey," I began taking a deep breath to control what anger I knew I held back from what I just heard, "Don't keep things from her. April is kind of sensitive, even when she doesn't show it. She's also pretty sick during this pregnancy-- and it isn't gonna be easy for her when she has Codey,"

Casey watches me carefully but he then slowly stands, "Codey- right. It's gonna be a boy. But hey! Look. I'm gonna go run a few errands. Would you be okay to stay here with her until I get back?"

"Of course. But when exactly will you be back?" I asked pushing my bottom lip out. But also feeling a little bit suspicious. 

Casey took his precious time answering my question while he scrolled through the phone he pulled from his pocket but once he was finished typing out whatever he messaged out he looked at me and shrugged, "I wouldn't know exactly when. Maybe an hour or so, maybe two. If that's alright,"

I watched him curiously and with practice. I could tell he was lying about something in between the lines of his words. I have studied body language for years, and I guess in a way it was all taught from Leo and passed down to the others like some two-step program.

"Yeah. Yeah um, that's alright. Be careful out there," I said with a small, fake smile. 

He nodded his head at me and smiled back in return. He snatched his keys from the hook by the door, and I continued to watch him silently and timidly to not give much suspicion away and when he left without checking on April, I quickly got up from the couch and peeked into her bedroom. She was sound asleep on her left side. 

I quickly checked her health stats before I left the room, including the babies, and when everything turned out to be negative I flipped my goggles back to the top of my head and tiptoed out of the room and back into the living area. 

I switched on my watch one more time and flipped through a page or two until I found Mikey's number. I needed to check on him. He refused to leave the lair when I asked him to and even then, he'd barely speak to me. 

Thinking about this now, it only reminded me about the long quiet week that Leo and Raph had been gone. It wasn't the same without them. My anger only grew bigger the longer they stayed away and we had received no letters, no phone calls. 

Nothing

"Come on, Mike, answer the damn phone," I muttered off to myself once I hit the rooftops after making sure the locks in April's apartment were secured properly.

The call went through four rings before anyone picked up, and Mikey groaned into my headset. 

"D, c'mon, I was sleeping" he moaned into the speaker as I ran over the surface. 

"Mikey-- I'm gonna need you to get up. We need to follow Casey and see where he's going" 

"What?" he said all groggily, "Follow Casey? For what?"

"He's acting really weird. Meet me at Time Square, and get here fast," I demanded before hanging up the call. 

I continued my run and followed alongside the New York city borderline, and kept going while feeling my lungs starting to burn and ache with tension. Once I saw big gleaming lights and huge flashing billboards that hung from every which building or restaurant, I knew where I was officially at.

Sure enough, I saw Casey's car parked in traffic a few rows down. After the light turned green, the car swerved to the left and he parked down by the bookstore they recently put in next to the Mcdonalds. 

I pulled my goggles down again and twisted the left frame to zoom in, but by the time I caught a glimpse of the back of his head, he disappeared into the store. 

"Dammit!" I cursed, clenching my fist and lifting my goggles back up. I pulled my bag from my shell and reached inside and found my laptop and pulled it out. On the back, it was covered in small stickers and even the personalized emblem I made for the group awhile back. 

Seeing it again almost made me smile. It was in our early teens when we realized what we were to this city and pretty much-declared hero's. 

"The hell is going on?" I heard Mikey announce from behind me, but I was too into the information on the screen to pay attention, "Why exactly was I pulled out of my warm bed to go spy on one of our closest friends?"

"He's up to something" I simply answered still not ripping my eyes away from the screen, typing away and eventually finding my way into the cities network, "Now for surveillance,"

"What do you mean up to something? Where's April?" 

"At home, asleep. Casey was telling me some pretty messed up stuff. He left and now he's here, at that new bookstore they put in a couple of weeks ago," I said logging into the network and finding a trail straight to Dillions St Street Book Store. 

"Maybe he wants to buy her a baby book. Come on, Donnie, nothing bad is going on. Let's go home," Mikey whines.

"Shush," I say tapping into the security system, which was very weak for such a populated area, "There!" 

I pointed at the screen focusing on the digital camera that was installed in the store that displayed the entire area, including the two smaller cameras that managed the front desk, and hallway bathrooms. 

"What is he doing?" Mikey asked viewing the screen a little closer and almost brushing elbows with me. 

"Something slimy," I answered zooming in with the camera, but changing up the security angle and spotting the girl at the counter who he was speaking intently to. 

"He's talking to another girl,"

"Exactly,"

"What do you mean exactly, Don?" Mikey sighed, "It doesn't look like he's up to much--"

As Mike was saying this, on camera and screen, the girl behind the counter came around to greet Casey with a hug that lingered far too long and was way too close for a friendly type of hug. But this was a woman named Michelle Getty and she managed the store with a ranking of three stars of publishment and she was twenty years old. 

"Oh, man," I said quietly feeling Mikey shift next to me. 

"That fucking sleazeball!" he cursed with clenched fists, "Should go down there and kick his teeth in for doing this to April!"

I watched the screen, seeing Casey and Michelle exchange a sweet kiss, then another embrace, and then they headed for the seating area by the windows that had two reclining love seat chairs on each side of the tall window with a small table in the middle. 

"Casey admitted that he wasn't ready for a baby earlier," I muttered, closing away my laptop and positioning my goggles down over my eyes to get a better zoomed-in look of the couple in the window, "He said it wasn't even really planned,"

"He doesn't deserve her, Donnie!" 

"I agree. And neither do our brothers deserve us. But here we are, sticking to it. Though, knowing April, if she found out about this, she'd straight up leave the guy,"

"Isn't that the plan?" Mikey scoffed, "I wanna beat the crap outta the dude!" he said slapping his fist against the palm of his opposite hand. 

"We can't do anything about it because it's technically not our business. Not our place," I said lifting my goggles back up so I could look at Mikey and for a second I caught him rolling his eyes. 

"You made it your place when you followed him to the bookstore, D!" 

"And you're in this with me," I insisted with a wave of my hand.

"This is just great, Donnie. Casey is cheating on our girl! And he's gonna die!" Mikey retorted while hopping up on the edge of the building to look over time square, "I'm gonna kill him myself!"

"You know I won't let you do that, Mike. Plus, Leo would have both of our asses if that happened," I sighed pushing my glasses back in there place after so many uses of my technology.

"Don't even talk to me about, Leo," I heard Mikey mutter as he fiddled with the chain link to his nunchuck. 

I watched him for a second after he had mentioned Leo and knew why he was so sensitive about the name of him, let alone his brother in general. He was angry with him and Raph. 

I was too. 

But since they left I've been trying to compress every inch of anger and sadness I had for either one of them. For missing them, and worrying about their safety overall. 

Japan may have been beautiful, but deep in the depths of its soul was evil. Secrets only warriors could keep, and we all knew this. All four of us. 

"I'm sorry-- but it's true," I clarified staring directly at the smaller one in front of me, "He would have our asses. He still is a leader no matter what,"

"Some leader. He left his two youngest brothers to fend for themselves. Including his boyfriend!" Mikey scowled slamming his bare fist into the concrete.

I expected him to wince, or maybe whimper, but he didn't move an inch, "Maybe in the meantime, we can figure out why Casey is doing this, or maybe, I know why-- but it's a psychological reason. A stupid reason at that. But this, Jeez. This is so messed up," I huffed loudly looking back towards the bookstore, and from not afar, you could still see Casey and his new lover in the window. 

"Messed up isn't the word for it, D!" Mikey almost yelled, making me snap my head back towards him, "He needs his ass kicked for doing this to April!" 

"I know but we can't just--" 

My watch started beeping rapidly on my wrist and this was a red light signal as well. 

On my devices, I have all signals for bads, goods, and minor threats set up. And if anything is triggered, I'm the first to know about it. But this one, it was awfully different. Which meant bad. Very bad.

"Ah! What is that?" Mikey shrieked grasping both sides of his head.

"An alarm has been tripped back home," I answered with a low voice, "I'm unable to see which one or even which location it was triggered in. We need to move. Now!" 

Before even looking back, I ran across the buildings and performing small flips, spins and turns here and there that with no hassle at all. Mikey was at my heels and he too was in a panic. I was worried beyond belief. The alarm that was apparently set off meant Defcon One level. 

We needed to get back and fast. 

"Can you at least see into the cameras?" Mikey yelled from behind me, running mad fast and staying at my side. 

Once I got a straight start, I quickly pulled up the security details for the lair. But everything was disconnected and when I saw that everything-- every device, every service, screen or computer was shut down, my heart dropped.

I stared at the visuals on the screen from my watch as the calculations and readings went fuzzy and black. Everything was off, completely shut down.

Destroyed.

Not only did my heart drown, but I felt it breaking into a million pieces.

"Donnie?" I heard Mikey call. But I didn't answer. I kept running until I spotted the closest entrance to the sewers possible.

I fell in, nearly tripping and ran down the long tunnels, turning and panting heavily from how tight my lungs felt. My heart was pounding and I could hear it thumping in the base of my eardrums. I needed to know if this was true. I needed to know if this was some kind of joke.

"Don, slow the fuck down!" 

Once I finally got to the lair, it was filled with smoke. Flames rose high into the ceilings, and everything-- every single item, piece of furniture, the carpets, floorboards. It was all gone. 

A huge crash sounded off before the entire room collapsed, and I fell to my knees. 

My breathing became heavier, and things got blurry- the back of my neck felt wet and clammy, "It's gone," I barely muttered before falling forward. 

ᵀᵒ ᴮᵉ Cᵒⁿᵗⁱⁿᵘᵉᵈ


	43. ᵂʰᵉʳᵉ ᵀʰᵉ ᵂⁱⁿᵈ ᴮˡᵒʷˢ

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> " ᵂʰᵃᵗ ᴵˢ Yᵒᵘʳ ᴾᵒⁱˢᵒⁿ "   
ᴵˢ ᵇᵃˢᵉᵈ ᵘᵖᵒⁿ ᶜᵒᵐᵖˡᵉᵗᵉ ᶠⁱᶜᵗⁱᵒⁿ ᵃⁿᵈ ⁱᵈᵉᵃ'ˢ ᴴʸᵈʳᵃᵏⁱⁿᶻ, ᴴᵃˢ ᶜᵒˡˡᵉᶜᵗᵉᵈ ᵒᵛᵉʳ ᵗʰᵉ ᵖˡᵒᵗ ᵒᶠ ʰᵉʳ ᶠᵃᵛᵒʳⁱᵗᵉ ᶠᵃⁿᵈᵒᵐ ᵒᶠ ᵃˡˡ ᵗⁱᵐᵉ, ᵀᴹᴺᵀ
> 
> Book Two Out Now! 
> 
> This Story Contains #Turtlecest. 
> 
> ໓໐ຖ't likē, ໓໐ຖ't rēค໓.
> 
> After Raphael and Leonardo think that their brothers are dead from a warehouse explosion, they mourn the deaths of what remained, including the lie and betrayal of their father faking his own death to keep them safe. Raph and Leo try to move on, but more than twenty surprises hit them in the face like a ton of bricks when Donnie and Mike return to the lair after a fight for adventure. Feelings begin to bloom over the loss. And drama forms and rains over their heads like a storm.
> 
> Falling In Love With Your Own Sibling Was Never going to be easy-- but getting them to love you back was a challenge-- Only in reality-- they all loved each other just as equal. 
> 
> Read ᵂʰᵃᵗ ᴵˢ Yᵒᵘʳ ᴾᵒⁱˢᵒⁿ to find out what unfolds right before their eyes, and to be there every step of the way as these four brothers discover what true love and sacrifice truly means to have exactly what you want.

ᵂʰᵃᵗ ᴵˢ Yᵒᵘʳ ᴾᵒⁱˢᵒⁿ

Cʰᵃᵖᵗᵉʳ ˣᴸᴵᴵ

ᵂʰᵉʳᵉ ᵀʰᵉ ᵂⁱⁿᵈ ᴮˡᵒʷˢ

[ Leonardo ]

Relax your mind. Tune it down, and focus on what really matters. 

Only the mind, heart and soul need to be connected. It helps motivate you into where you belong and that's at peace. 

Silence is what manipulates every cell in your brain to quiet down. But some are crazier than others. Some aren't as wishful as others. And sometimes, I felt kind of bad for them. I assumed that their mind was never within their spirit. Which meant that they never learned to slow down.

It's been a while, but I'm finally able to say that being hushed is only a privilege in my life. 

"What good will this do, Leo?" 

Without opening an eye, I took a deep breath before answering my brother's question that came every single day since we arrived in Japan again.

"It will teach you patience, Raph," I answered with pure infliction and inhaling the scented oils wavering in the room. 

"Who said I needed tah learn patience?" he gritted quietly but speaking rapidly from the left of me, completely ruining the mood, "We've been here a whole month and ain't nothin' changed. Splinter is in the ground with Yoshi, and now we should be gettin' home!" 

"Dad was only buried just last week, Raphael," I sighed, getting to my feet and going over to the supplement table. 

"Exactly!" he scoffed, obviously trying to keep his voice down, "I still don't know why it took em' a whole week to bury him. We need to be at home!"

"What fucking home?" I nearly yelled, as my voice echoed around the dojo, "The place where I grew up, the place where every single time I go to, I'll be reminded of my dead father? If anything at all, Raph, I'm surprised you haven't even noticed that we're orphans now. All four of us!" 

Raph shook his head and took a step back as I wrapped my fists with bandages, "Yeah, well, if you haven't noticed, Leo, we're all over eighteen. Which means that that shouldn't concern you!" 

"It doesn't surprise me that you have no emotion in this cause,"

"What?" he questioned with widening eyes, "You know damn fuckin' well that I gave a shit about him dyin' it fuckin' killed me watching them put him in the ground! But what's done is done. That freak-load Bishop covered this. You wouldn't let us kill the man who put the bullet in Sensei, to begin with, and you wanna talk to me about havin' no emotion? Go fuck ya self, Leo," Raph growled at me, shoving me in the shoulder and leaving the room. 

I took a deep inhale and tried to relax for a moment and think back at the days when I thought grief was easy to handle. I had never experienced it but now I'm in an everyday battle between loving and hating the fact that the only parent I once had was gone. 

I couldn't figure out Raphael in a spot like this. I also couldn't wrap my head around him wanting to be there for me, but also I think it was just him wanting to see dad be put in the ground. 

I thought about calling Donnie countless times, but I couldn't bring myself to do so. The guilt hanging over my head was too much. Maybe I was a coward?

No. I definitely was a coward. 

Would writing to him make a difference?

"Something is troubling you, Leonardo," Gyoji spoke from behind me. I felt a hand on my shoulder and took a step back.

"I'm sorry about this Sensei. Raph, he can be so unstable,"

"Raphael is troubled by only himself with closed away demons. He misses home and of course, won't take his fathers passing well over the way- So, you have to forgive him, Leonardo," he explains with a reassuring smile. 

I nodded my head and waited patiently until Gyoji left the room. I then made the decision to just say screw it and quickly followed in my brother's path and found him lingering in the gardens of solitude. 

"Hope you don't plan on breaking anything out here," I announced, making my angry sibling glare at me. 

"We need to go back," he mutters, looking away from me, "I need to know if Mikey is okay,"

"You think I'm not worrying about, Donnie?" I questioned a little too harshly, "Huh?"

"Oh, cut the shit. You haven't given a crap about him since the very beginning!"

"You wanna know something?" I calmly asked, walking towards him, "I'm getting really sick and tired of everyone assuming that I don't give a shit about, Donatello!"

"You don't fuckin' show it, man!" Raphael yells, frightening the birds perching in the garden. They yelp and flog their wings before flying away.

"Would you keep it down?" I warned with a roughly hushed tone. Raph tried backing away from me, but I had him cornered. 

"You don't. You know it-- and I for one fuckin' see it!" he says pointing a finger at me.

"Yeah. I'm a coward, Raph. Just say it! Say that I'm a pussy and that I am afraid of loving the only thing that'll love me back in the same goddamn way!" 

Raph rolls his eyes and moves past me, "You need to learn how to. I still make my mistakes. I mean, when Mike said he loved me not long ago, I froze up. And I've said it countless times to him but when he says it first-- I don't know what the fuck to do!" 

"Say it back," I answer sitting on the bench that was placed in the middle of the room to show off the mountain view, "That's the only thing you can do. But don't say it unless you mean it,"

"Says you," he scoffs.

"Every single time, I mean it," 

"I feel like a bastard for leaving Mikey after he came back, Leo," I heard my brother mumble after sitting next to me to rest his head in his hands. 

"One more week, yeah?" 

"No. Not one more week. Not five more days. Today!" he demands on gritted teeth. His fists were clenched on each side of his head and I sighed.

"What am I mean to tell The Ancient One?" 

"That you're a fuckin' fag and need to get home to your boyfriend. What else?" he growls, making me nudge him.

"You know I hate that word, so cut the shit for yourself including the anger streak. I get that you're upset about Dad. We all are. Mostly me because I treated him like garbage just before he died. I admit that I'm a selfish bastard who doesn't deserve, Donatello! And a bad fucking leader," I huffed standing up to go over to the lit windows that displayed the view just perfect. 

My brother and I shared a moment of silence. I heard him shift a couple of times and even momentarily imagined him throwing me out of this window to rid of me from this world for good. But the silence from him only proved that my words got to him. But now wasn't a moment to boast over.

"Leo, you ain't a bad leader. And you and D, deserve each other. He wants you more than one of those computing devices he's always dreamt about. You've just got some shit goin' on. I do too, and losin' our only parent hasn't exactly been the easiest fuckin' thing to get over. So, I guess I'm sorry for bein' so hard on ya all the time," 

A smile formed on my face and I stared down at my wrapped hands, questioning the real logic in why we actually came here.

"Should I have killed him?" I suddenly asked, turning to face my brother.

He tilted his head at me with wonder in his scowl, "Yeah. I would have done it myself, but I don't think Mikey needed to see that. From what I heard he saw that fucker who rolled on us get shot,"

"Me and Don were the ones he saw," I admitted, watching Raph's face twist into something much more familiar to me. 

"What?" he said with a small laugh, "Were you two bangin' one out in the meadows?" 

"Actually um, yeah. We kinda were," I laughed in return, rubbing a gloved hand over the back of my neck.

"Well," he started while nibbling on his lower lip, "How was it?"

"Come on," I dragged.

He chuckles again, and I followed, "No, man. I wanna know. I always wondered how tight my genius brother was," 

I smacked him in the shoulder making our laughter rise into the air a little louder. I wanted to pause and actually see from an out-of-body experiences' point of view to see me and Raph actually having a laugh together. We were getting along when we were just fighting over flying back home. 

"It was fantastic. Even though it was like our only second time doing it," I grimaced, running a hand over my face to point out my embarrassment. 

"Only twice?" Raph gasped, "Man, me and Mike fuck like rabbits sometimes,"

"Alright, Alright! I get it," I shook my head with a grin on my face, "Not to mention me and you have one on the scale. You do Don and we'll all be related in a much more different way,"

"Eskimo bro's for life," he laughs again, connecting our fists together to pound one out. 

"But hey look um, can you just give this place at least two more days? Tops. Only two. And we'll go back home," I questioned, putting all amusement to the side and looking my brother straight in the eye.

He breathed out a hot sigh and nodded his head, "Yeah. But ya gotta promise me to not force me into meditation anymore," he smirked.

"I don't know about that one. But we'll just have to see, buddy," I answered politely with a bow. 

Afterward, I went to leave the room to continue the rest of the day without fighting with my sibling again, but he grasped my wrist and pulled me back towards him. I cocked my head at him with shock, bracing myself for maybe a punch or something to the face. I could take it. I always did and a bloody nose wasn't the first of my injuries fighting with the hot-head.

But nothing came as he stared down at me, countering my eyes with every look, twitch and stare. I watched with alert as he swallowed thickly and connected our foreheads together. 

"Raph," I muttered, pushing a hand against his chest, "You know, Donnie would kick your ass for this," 

"Fightin' with you turns me on, Leo," he blurted out consciously. His eyes were closed when I went to meet them again, and his lips were only parted by an inch or two. 

Was he really spilling his heart right now?

"You know how badly I want to. But I can't," I sighed heavily, bringing Raph a little closer.

The hell was I doing?

"I know this shit is wrong but what wrong is in it when we all love each other equally?" he breathes, running the pad of his thumb over my bottom lip, "Equally enough that Don fucks Mike, and I fuck you. It's vise versa, fearless. And maybe, those roles will switch one of these fucked up days,"

"You wouldn't let me screw, Mikey" I scoffed with a soft smile, pushing my hands up the surface of his plastron and over the twitching muscles in his biceps. 

"You're probably right. But I guess it's kinda different with us. With them. Mike and Me, you and D," Raph grins in response, "The chemistry that I've been swimming with winds me up with you. It fuckin' fits and it pisses me off," 

"It pisses you off that your heart might just be with me too?" I questioned quietly, but almost enough to hush the tension between us as my hands remained on his shoulders.

"Yeah. Yeah, it does," he answers nuzzling the tip of my snout. 

Raph's control makes me feel like I have spells casting over my head like a sinking ship in the middle of a horizon. He almost felt like a drug to me. One that involves smacking you right in the face for being so strong.

"Raph," I say a little breathlessly. 

"Yeah, big bro?" 

"Kiss me," 

Raphael stares at me for a minute before he ignites one of the biggest smiles I've ever seen him give me. I give one with only half the amount as he kisses me. Hissing into my mouth and biting harshly on my bottom lip, making me wince and pull back an inch or two.

But Raph being the alpha he is, pulls me back in and forces my mouth on his again. A shiver goes down my shell and I lean into my brother a bit deeper. My head starts spinning and from what I can feel, my heart is hammering a mile a minute. 

My Chi. 

"Leonardo would you please--" someone familiar announced while entering the room, interrupting the both of us. I stepped away from my brother with a small pop of our lips detaching. 

"Jeez, can't you Koreans fuckin' knock?"

"Raph!" I shove him and walk forward to block my brother out, "I-I am so sorry about this uh, foolishness, Sensei Gyoji,"

He stares at me wide-eyed. He looks almost horrific in the face. 

"The fuck is he starin' at?" Raph remarks with a sarcastic scoff on his face.

"Both of you, Get out," he blurts out on a short breath, "Right now!"

"What?" 

"You're kickin' us out because you saw us kissing?" my brother laughs, "You gotta be kiddin' me,"

"Raph, fucking chill-- I mean! Just relax. Okay? Mr. Gyoji, please. Why do we need to leave?" I ask, questioning with being frantically nervous. 

"This isn't up for discussion. I want you both to leave the temple at once. We don't welcome your kind here," he answered with pure honesty and left the gardens.

"Our kind?" Raph shouts after him, "You fuckin' gimp!" 

For once I was ridden silent. I couldn't understand the concept of what just happened, and maybe consulting with The Ancient One would help, but I knew in the end he'd probably just agree with Sensei Gyoji and ban us further from the temple.

"Let's just pack our bags, alright?" I say grabbing my brother by his hand. 

He stares down at me with disbelief on his face. 

"Fine," 

ᵀᵒ ᴮᵉ Cᵒⁿᵗⁱⁿᵘᵉᵈ


	44. ᵁⁿᶠᵒʳᵗᵘⁿᵃᵗᵉ Fᵃⁱᵗʰ

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> " ᵂʰᵃᵗ ᴵˢ Yᵒᵘʳ ᴾᵒⁱˢᵒⁿ "   
ᴵˢ ᵇᵃˢᵉᵈ ᵘᵖᵒⁿ ᶜᵒᵐᵖˡᵉᵗᵉ ᶠⁱᶜᵗⁱᵒⁿ ᵃⁿᵈ ⁱᵈᵉᵃ'ˢ ᴴʸᵈʳᵃᵏⁱⁿᶻ, ᴴᵃˢ ᶜᵒˡˡᵉᶜᵗᵉᵈ ᵒᵛᵉʳ ᵗʰᵉ ᵖˡᵒᵗ ᵒᶠ ʰᵉʳ ᶠᵃᵛᵒʳⁱᵗᵉ ᶠᵃⁿᵈᵒᵐ ᵒᶠ ᵃˡˡ ᵗⁱᵐᵉ, ᵀᴹᴺᵀ
> 
> Book Two Out Now! 
> 
> This Story Contains #Turtlecest. 
> 
> ໓໐ຖ't likē, ໓໐ຖ't rēค໓.
> 
> After Raphael and Leonardo think that their brothers are dead from a warehouse explosion, they mourn the deaths of what remained, including the lie and betrayal of their father faking his own death to keep them safe. Raph and Leo try to move on, but more than twenty surprises hit them in the face like a ton of bricks when Donnie and Mike return to the lair after a fight for adventure. Feelings begin to bloom over the loss. And drama forms and rains over their heads like a storm.
> 
> Falling In Love With Your Own Sibling Was Never going to be easy-- but getting them to love you back was a challenge-- Only in reality-- they all loved each other just as equal. 
> 
> Read ᵂʰᵃᵗ ᴵˢ Yᵒᵘʳ ᴾᵒⁱˢᵒⁿ to find out what unfolds right before their eyes, and to be there every step of the way as these four brothers discover what true love and sacrifice truly means to have exactly what you want.

ᵂʰᵃᵗ ᴵˢ Yᵒᵘʳ ᴾᵒⁱˢᵒⁿ

Cʰᵃᵖᵗᵉʳ ˣᴸᴵᴵᴵ

ᵁⁿᶠᵒʳᵗᵘⁿᵃᵗᵉ Fᵃⁱᵗʰ

[ Raphael ]

I still hated planes. I still hated bein' in the fuckin' air. I stuck close to Leo the whole plane ride home. 

After the call with Bishop, Leo mentioned that he asked why we were leavin' so early because he was told that it might be a couple of weeks. But this, it changed everything about the trip. 

The Ancient One wasn't around for our departure, and Leo is hopin' that this was some kinda mistake. But I kept my tongue bitten the whole way because I just knew the truth behind it. 

People Like You.

The words kept runnin' through my head on repeat with a constant cycle. I wanted to stomp on his fuckin' face, but the oh-fearless-one stopped me!

He always did when I tried to defend us against some prick who was apparently innocent in his eyes. 

"So," Leo said from my right shoulder. His head had been lying there for a while, and from all the breathin' I figured he was asleep or something. 

"So?" I grinned only for a moment, mocking my older brother.

"So, what was up with you back there?" 

I leaned my head back against the leather cushion, "Don't know really-- guess my Chi really comes through,"

"I don't think kissing your brother had anything to do with your Chi, Raph" he laughed quietly churning the mood into something a little less awkward.

"I just wanted to, alright? Plus, you gave me permission. So, it ain't just my fault, ya dork," 

"Hah, alright, tough guy," he says with a smile, curling his fingers around my fist.

I glanced down at our hands together and something in my body leaped. It felt right even after everything we've been through with ripping at each other's throats.

Back then, even years ago now, all me and Leo ever did was fight. We still do on occasion. But not as much since we came out. I guess it was just required for people to get closer to one another. It was one of those damned human things again.

When we had a choice to be like others, to be human with that ooze, I still wonder what it would have been like. I wonder about too fuckin' much these days. It was just fucked up on my part. Sometimes I want all my brothers to be mine, sometimes I only want one. But Mikey is where the special card gets drawn. He's always been my little bro, my jokester with one of those goofy party hats on. 

Then I have Leo, who is almost as brooding as me at times. I wanna fight him for dominance as much as he does me, and nothing in between us other than that could separate our bond and the way we feel for one other, or even the others. 

Since I got older, I've felt the need to protect Leo as he has us for so many years. 

"How are we gonna tell, Don about what happened?" I heard Leo sigh and he slowly lifted his head off of me and leaned back into his own seat. 

"The kiss or that Korean fuck who kicked us out for bein' Gay?" I snapped, fidgeting in my chair, "This fuckin' thing is a little snug!" 

"Then sit on the floor," Leo rolls his eyes, "And Gyoji- er, well, both, I guess,"

"Maybe he won't bust my nose again," I grumble fidgeting again, "And I don't think it will really matter. You should of let me crack his skull. He deserved it,"

"Maybe it was because he knows we're brothers," Leo said catching my full attention.

"Why the fuck would that change anything?"

"Because, Raph!" he huffs running his hands over his face, "In the real world, people think that's disgusting!"

"That's them!" I nearly shout, "It's them, Leo! We're us! Our business, not theirs!" 

Leo looks at me sharply but understands the truth behind my words and shuts up for once. 

"It was just embarrassing alright?" he finally breaks staring up at me, "I've never felt like that, Raph,"

I looked back into my brother's eyes feeling even angrier than before. He actually looked scared. And seeing him this was wasn't exactly a common thing for me. He was the one who always stepped up for the rest. Not himself. Nothing ever affected Leo.

"Why didn't you let me fuckin' kill him then?" I ask with less attitude but maybe a bit of sarcasm.

"Oh, God, Raphael, would you just let that go? You aren't killing anybody!" he snaps removing his hands from his face, revealing what tears had escaped. Even his mask was stained. 

"Why won't you let anyone else protect you like you do others!" 

"Because I don't deserve it," he answers with soft-spoken words and honesty. 

I shake my head and look out the plane window, wanting to chill myself the fuck out before I burst into flames, literally. The man humiliated him. Leo wanted to be in Japan for other reasons besides burying our father. 

I knew he wanted to learn everything he possibly could off of the grandmaster. The Ninja Tribunal was his life at one point while we were competing against the odds and greatest Sensei's of them all. 

He loved the thrill of learning new moves, new abilities. He enjoyed knowing that these people were kind of like our people. Well, Ninjas. 

They never mentioned the Chi until later, and we didn't get it until an even later time which was a crock of shit in my opinion. These people had all their fancy words and weapons. But on top of that, our weapons combined more than four times the original design. 

It was my favorite part of it all.

For the rest of the plane ride, things were quiet and uncomplicated. It was the way I wanted it to be for the final hour or so, and when we landed back in New York, we didn't really have a plan. As usual. 

"Turtles, would you mind explaining to me why you called off so early?" The driver asked, making me shift, considering he was a total stranger and was drivin' us around like some Chauffeur. Bishop was really outdoing his apology. 

"Um, it was only permitted for a week or so, but we had to leave early and get back to our brothers," Leo answered peering towards me. Probably to warn me off to not say shit. 

"Did you want to stay longer, sir?"

Sir?

I nearly laughed, trying to distract myself through the tinted window to my left, "Oh, well, yes. It's beautiful there. A lot of things to learn. But family calls,"

"I hear ya, I got two boys at home myself. And one of these days I'd like to take them and the wife to Japan. Especially Tokyo," the driver gushed smiling in the rearview mirror. 

This guy seemed really happy about his life. But I could tell there was something more to his words. And I think Leo could hear it too. 

The car ride was once again, quiet. Nothin' but silence and it was beginning to frustrate me. It was always me stuck in one of these vehicles with people who were too good to even ask about the goddamn weather.

I watched the tall buildings pass by reminding me of the boatload of memories I never think about between this city and my soul. 

What would I be without it? I thought.

"Here is fine," Leo spoke to the driver and he nodded pulling into a secluded but familiar alleyway down north of Manhattan. 

"Would you like me to help you with your bags?" 

"No, we're fine. Thank you so much for driving us, even though President Bishop didn't need to do any of this. He's been very helpful," Leo explains with a wave of goodbye. 

As we watched him back up out of the alleyway I thanked fucking Jesus for his leave. 

"Sheesh," I muttered, gripping the handle on my duffel. 

"You're just not used to people that nice," Leo confronts with a small grin and walking towards the manhole cover that leads us towards the main sewer line. 

"Or people that talk that much," I grumble, jumping down underground and Leo puts the cover back over.

"Oh really? Have you forgotten that we have a little brother who does nothing but talks half the time?" Leo laughs, swinging his bag over his shoulder.

I nudge him in the ribs and continue to walk on, "He's not that bad. At least not anymore, but yeah, definitely not used to people like that. Only the bad ones are in my taste,"

"Or ones who rape and murder women and children," Leo assumes once we reach the main hall to go to the lair. But something was off. 

"You smell that?" I ask wrinkling my nose, but following in behind my brother anyway. 

"Smells like smoke. Maybe Mike is frying up something- you know what happened the last time he tried cooking for us," 

My fists began vibrating all the way to my fingertips. Something was entirely off, and I felt it. 

I shut my eyes for only a moment and saw flames and pieces of concrete crashing down, causing huge explosions and earthquakes that rattled the whole sewage line. 

"Leo," I said with a tense voice, trying to stop him from going any further but he said nothing and kept going. He knew it too. He was smart and unlike me, I was seein' fuckin' visions now!

I watched my brother freeze in the doorway entrance to our home. His breathing picked up and from the way he was standing it looked like he might actually faint from his legs being too wobbly. 

"It's all gone," he muttered before falling to his knees. 

I went forward and stopped him from going too far by grabbing his shoulders and gripping them tight, "What if Mike and Don are still in there!" 

"They aren't," he shook his head violently, "They would be too smart for that. This happened while they weren't here," 

"How the fuck do you know that, Leo?"

My brother's head fell when I questioned him briefly about the situation. 

"Because I didn't think they'd actually do it," he muttered, sounding sick.

I released his shoulders and stood back, "What?" 

Leo glanced up at me and gripped the padding on his knees so tightly it could break, "I'm sorry, Raph,"

"You fucking knew about this?" I barked as Leo got to his feet. 

"I got a call before Mikey was dropped off with Bishop. They wouldn't tell me who they were, but they got my number, some fucking way and they wanted money, Raphael. A lot of money that we don't fucking have! Or never will have! I thought it was some kinda joke, some prank," he explained with a tight voice but strained as I gawked at him.

"You thought someone callin' your number, threatening to blow up our fuckin' home, unless we give them money, was a joke?" I scoffed, "You're even dumber than ya look, you know that?" 

"They threatened to fucking expose us, Raph!" 

I stared off over Leo's shoulder, the smell in the air was awful. Even then I could literally smell and hear my childhood being set aflame. 

"Why didn't you let them?" I then asked, "Why didn't ya?" 

"Raph, you know why! Come on!" he yelled in my face, and I shoved him.

"I could literally care less who knows what I am or who the fuck I am, Leo! This isn't a game anymore. This ain't make-believe, and I sure as fuck ain't ashamed of who I am. I showed this whole family that when we coulda became like those judgmental tools up there!" I shouted back, pointing at the roof. 

We stared at each other for a minute but then he looked away and back towards the lair that was completely burned to the ground. Everything was destroyed. Every memory and every single touch of soul that was left in it. 

"We need to find the others," Leo said leaning by the door clearly upset.

I then pull out my phone and dialed up Mikey's number first because I knew he always was the one to forget his damn phone. But I was hoping he'd actually be carrying it this time. 

After seven rings, the call went to voice mail, "Hey dudes, this is Mikey. Leave a message after the beep... or don't,"

"Dammit, Mikey, Pick up the fuckin' phone!" I said into the speaker and hung up. 

I held my head with one hand and paced the tunnel for a minute trying not to think too rational. I didn't see them in the vision. I didn't see anyone in there. Mikey's cat hopefully got out. 

"Call, Don," Leo suggested but with a low voice, sounding unlike himself. 

I huffed, hitting the speed dial again for Donnie's number and the phone began ringing on the other end, and with three continuous nod offs, the other line picked up. 

"Donnie?" I nearly gasped, "Where the fuck are you, where's Mikey?"

The silence on the other end was bashful and almost annoying to a boiling point but I waited, "We're at the hospital," Donnie confessed with a sniffle on the other end.

"Hospital?" I repeated, "Why the fuck are you at the hospital?"

I saw Leo's head snap in my direction from the corner of my eye and he rushed over to the phone and tried to snatch it from me, but I declared a tug and war and won.

"Come by-- to the roof, south of the helipad, and everything will come clear," he said before hanging up. 

"Donnie?" I shouted, staring at the phone and giving it a 'did he really just hang up on me?' type of look. 

"What about a hospital?" Leo questioned getting right up in my space, "What'd he say? Are they hurt!" 

"I don't know! We gotta go there, so just keep your fuckin' panties on," 

Me and Leo prepped our bags on the back of our shells and took off, getting as far from the sewers as we possibly could. Gaining the space from here to there wasn't smothering anymore. The thought of my home being destroyed was both relieving and the most devasting thing to ever happen to me. Even with thinking that Mikey was dead at one point, this day couldn't get any worse. 

But that's what they all say before the real shit goes down. 

It's what people call, Famous Last Words.

ᵀᵒ ᴮᵉ Cᵒⁿᵗⁱⁿᵘᵉᵈ


	45. Sʰᵃᵐᵉˡᵉˢˢ

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> " ᵂʰᵃᵗ ᴵˢ Yᵒᵘʳ ᴾᵒⁱˢᵒⁿ "   
ᴵˢ ᵇᵃˢᵉᵈ ᵘᵖᵒⁿ ᶜᵒᵐᵖˡᵉᵗᵉ ᶠⁱᶜᵗⁱᵒⁿ ᵃⁿᵈ ⁱᵈᵉᵃ'ˢ ᴴʸᵈʳᵃᵏⁱⁿᶻ, ᴴᵃˢ ᶜᵒˡˡᵉᶜᵗᵉᵈ ᵒᵛᵉʳ ᵗʰᵉ ᵖˡᵒᵗ ᵒᶠ ʰᵉʳ ᶠᵃᵛᵒʳⁱᵗᵉ ᶠᵃⁿᵈᵒᵐ ᵒᶠ ᵃˡˡ ᵗⁱᵐᵉ, ᵀᴹᴺᵀ
> 
> Book Two Out Now! 
> 
> This Story Contains #Turtlecest. 
> 
> ໓໐ຖ't likē, ໓໐ຖ't rēค໓.
> 
> After Raphael and Leonardo think that their brothers are dead from a warehouse explosion, they mourn the deaths of what remained, including the lie and betrayal of their father faking his own death to keep them safe. Raph and Leo try to move on, but more than twenty surprises hit them in the face like a ton of bricks when Donnie and Mike return to the lair after a fight for adventure. Feelings begin to bloom over the loss. And drama forms and rains over their heads like a storm.
> 
> Falling In Love With Your Own Sibling Was Never going to be easy-- but getting them to love you back was a challenge-- Only in reality-- they all loved each other just as equal. 
> 
> Read ᵂʰᵃᵗ ᴵˢ Yᵒᵘʳ ᴾᵒⁱˢᵒⁿ to find out what unfolds right before their eyes, and to be there every step of the way as these four brothers discover what true love and sacrifice truly means to have exactly what you want.

ᵂʰᵃᵗ ᴵˢ Yᵒᵘʳ ᴾᵒⁱˢᵒⁿ

Cʰᵃᵖᵗᵉʳ ˣᴸᴵⱽ

Sʰᵃᵐᵉˡᵉˢˢ

[ Michelangelo ]

"You're fine, right?" 

"Yeah," Don said after a long pause.

"Did they say when they were coming?" 

"On their way," Donnie answered not looking at me. April's jacket was gripped in the grasp of his hands. His fingers knotted the leather material like he was holding onto it for dear life. 

I glanced away from my brother and out towards the darkening sunset that sat just above the waterline for New York cities river. Three days ago, our home was destroyed. I had to drag Donnie out of there. Or else we probably would have died due to the amount of smoke.

Raph and Leo weren't there to help us and knowing them, they were probably off banging one another in Japan. I felt it. 

"Why couldn't we have been there?" I heard Donnie mumble off to himself. He was in tears again, fighting against them and refusing to break in front of me. In front of another person. 

"You know why, D" I replied back even though he probably wasn't talking to me directly but he needed to know otherwise, "Casey was in there with her,"

"He still fucking is!" he snapped, "Cheating bastard doesn't deserve to be!" 

I turned and caught Donnie slamming his fist against the concrete ledge that dropped over the building by the helipad. He winced and shook his hand, already regretting what he just did. I could already see the blood-forming at the tips of his three knuckles. 

"You know exactly why we couldn't be!" I defended, stepping in front of him, "Don't hurt yourself over this, bro!" 

He quickly put his battered hand over the front of his eyes just before removing his glasses and released almost a sob, but a cry of anger. I went forward and wrapped my arms around his torso as tight as I could. I let my forehead press into his plastron, feeling his heart pounding beneath his tethered scaly skin. 

"What's going on?" I heard a familiar voice shatter around me and my brother like glass. 

"Leo," Donnie muttered before pulling away from me and making some distance between me and the other two who just arrived. He didn't want Leo seeing him like this. Now I have to be the one to fucking tell them. 

Great.

I stood a few inches away from the ladder that reached the top surface of where I was standing as Leo climbed up first, then came Raph. 

My heart caught in my throat seeing him. It had been nearly a whole month, and they both had a glow to them. A glow that made them look almost as fine as the stars in the sky. 

Focus Mikey. 

Leo looked over my head searching the area for Don, but I knew he was just behind me, needing a minute to breathe. 

"Why are you two at the hospital?" Raph asked, tilting his head down to look at me and I blinked not knowing how to respond. 

"Is it, April, Mikey?" Leo questioned, stepping closer. 

I was feeling the need to cry now. I felt it coming and it was going to be bad and hard to hold back. 

I nodded quickly trying to hold myself together, "Y-Yeah," 

My two alpha brothers stared down at me like they saw a ghost.

"Is she alright?" Leo continued, looking over me again to find Donnie.

"And the baby?" Raph butted in.

I shook my head slowly because I sure as shit didn't have the energy right now. I looked down at my feet and fiddled nervously with the sleeve of my favorite hoodie I always had tied around my waist, "Baby is okay," 

"Then where the fuck is, April?" Raph almost snapped with an alarming tone, "Why does, D, have her fuckin' jacket?"

"She died!" Donnie sounded off from behind me, but his voice got closer as he came to finally stand beside me. 

Thank God. 

"What?" they both said at the same time. The look on Raph's face was almost impossible. 

A few tears escaped my eyes and pooled over, making me quickly wipe my face off. Donnie stood stern and strictly but occasionally sniffling from shedding a few himself. 

"How the fuck-- how did she die?" 

I looked up at Raph, watching his face as he spoke. He loved April as much as I did. We all did, but I and Raph, in my opinion always had a special connection with her. I don't think it had anything to do with me flirting with her for the last couple of years, I just kinda felt different when I was around her. Me and Raph were the ones who wanted to feel the most accepted in this world, and now the only person who understood us was. . . Gone. 

"She passed giving birth to Codey," Donnie answered, "He was um, born at seven pounds and eight ounces a couple of hours ago around three. Her body wasn't strong enough, especially after losing so much blood," 

Raph inhaled deeply and walked away from the three of us and took a moment to himself. I watched intently trying to avoid any more tears trying to spill over again. 

Leo cleared his throat, "Well, um," he paused blinking a few quick times and rubbing the back of his neck with his hand, "Is the baby at least, fine?"

"He's healthy, yeah,"

"Where the fuck is Casey?" Raph suddenly erupted, coming to stand next to us again, "Is he still in there?" 

"Should be. But we haven't heard anything from him in the last hour or so," I said staring off blankly at the night sky. 

"About Casey," Donnie sighed making me look at him, "He um, well, he told me some pretty messed up stuff not too long ago. And after, I followed him. Which is not really something I'm supposed to do, considering it was in broad daylight,"

"Donnie, how the hell could you risk that?" Leo scolded, but Raph shoved him in the shoulder to warn him to shut up, and he did. 

"He went to this bookstore not far from here. And um, well, how do I put it," he scoffed nearly cracking a smile, "He is seeing another woman,"

My brothers' faces turned dark when the confession was blown. I slowly took a step back and slid behind Donnie for even the slightest of protection. 

"That tool is cheatin' on her?" Raph growled, blowing off steam as if someone just set a match on a puddle of gasoline. 

Leo walks passed us and gets his phone out, "What are you doing?" Donnie questions following him as Leo dials up a number, and I knew which one, "You can't call him!"

"The hell I can't," Leo says under a cold tone and Donnie just stares baffled. Leo starts calling the other line and even slips it on speaker so everyone could hear. 

The call rings until it goes to voice mail. Leo hangs up and starts calling again, but this time, the call automatically goes to voice mail. 

"He turned off his phone," Don said, "What if he took, Codey?"

"He knows something-- he knows that we know," Leo said with a bit of a smirk, "What did he tell you?" 

Donnie only shook his head, "It was a lot. A lot that pissed me off actually and he was saying all this stuff about how he didn't plan to have a baby so soon. And how he didn't want this anymore. This life," 

"That fuckin' prick!" Raph roars, as the flames on his fists were already lighting up like two crystal balls. 

"You need to chill," Leo warned, "First we need to focus on the baby-- he probably just fucking left it,"

"Yeah, left it to die. Fuck, what if he gave it up for adoption or something?" Raph panicked, pacing the rooftop obviously listening to Leo's command for once.

I looked up at Donnie who was staring in thought. He was brainstorming something up like a fucking chef. He then glanced at me and got his own phone out, placing a call as fast as he could, but being casual about the whole thing. 

"What're you doing?" I whispered to him and he held his hand up to the three of us to be quiet. 

"Ah, yes, um, I'm looking for Mrs. Rebecca Vincent, chief of police," 

Everyone including myself stared at our brother with wide eyes. But we kept our silence closed until whatever Donnie was planning would fall through. It always did. 

Well, not always, but his plans were always better than ours. 

"Tell her my code name is, Cowabunga," Donnie answered to the phone, nearly making me smile, "Hello? Uh, Chief Vincent, this is Donatello. Yes, I'm good, um, look, I need a major favor. And after what happened in twenty-sixteen, I figured you kinda owed me this one anyway" 

I looked at Leo who was listening a little too close but had an expression on his face that told off how proud he was of Donnie. 

"Well, I and my brothers are technically in a jam. And you already know about Casey and April, the wedding and um, her being pregnant and all, but April had the baby today- and uh, well," he paused squeezing his eyes shut tightly, "She passed during the birth, and we think um, we think Casey just left without a word. Left the baby-- left April, us. Everything"

"Don," Leo said, speaking softly from behind him. He put a hand on his arm and slid it down until he could grasp his fingers between his hand. 

"Yeah, thank you. We've tried contacting Casey a couple of times, but he turned his phone off. And what I'm wanting from you is to turn the baby over in our care,"

"What?" Raph scoffed coming forward. 

"Our care?" I said out loud, continuing to listen.

"Yes, I know that procedure can be a really complicated thing to do, and we would need to be seen in front of a court of law, and well. You yourself know how complicated that is for us. But I'm begging you to pull some strings somewhere in the system and sign him over to us. It's what April would have wanted, Chief Vincent,"

I watched as Donnie's eyes lit up after a second or two and he even smiled for the first time since yesterday. 

"Oh, thank you, yes, we'll meet you there!" he said, seeming excited as he hung up the phone and put it back in his pocket, "We gotta move!"

"Wait, what the hell was that?" Leo asked, gripping Donnie's shoulder. 

"I talked her into bringing Codey to us, so he doesn't get taken by the state and put in foster care,"

"Take him in, like, adopt him?" I said with a growing smile, "Really?" 

"Yeah, but we'll need to sign a signature agreement that we'll be his legal guardians. I know it's happening so quick- but, I can't think about him getting taken away or something" Donnie explained, but I frowned. 

"D, we still gotta worry about a place to stay" 

"And diapers, those fuckin' things that they suck on, or whatever, we gotta have all of that. It's a baby, Donatello!" Raph exclaimed as his voice was already rising and I quickly punched his chest to quiet him.

"April had all of that. It is still in her apartment with everything else, even the crib," Donnie argued, staring right at Leo who didn't seem so thrilled about the decision, but I don't think our genius brother would change his mind, and neither did I, "This is April's baby-- her son, and practically our nephew. He's coming with us,"

"We still gotta discuss things about the lair," Leo said, looking down, and Raph glared at him.

"We have to meet Chief Vincent west of the hospital in Clooney's Shopping Alley. She mentioned that it was secluded enough to sign off there. So let's get going" Donnie demanded while getting a head start at getting off the building as the rest of us followed in behind him. 

He was thrilled, and I was clearly famished with the idea. Floored really as Donnie would say- he knew all the fancy words and taught me so much over the years. I can only imagine what we would teach the new member of the family. 

"So, is that what this is going to be? Four brothers--" 

"Lovers," Leo corrected with a bit of a snicker as we hopped over to the other side and down off the hospital building.

Raph rolled his eyes, "Four brothers who will raise a human baby? I've heard of the sayin' he was raised by a pack of wolves, but turtles, Nah, not got to that one just yet,"

After a mile or two worth of running and jumping like a bunch of monkeys, we finally reached the place that Donnie was talking about from the phone call. It was a well-lit area, but the same as all the other alleyways, except cleaner. I figured that we were on the good side of Manhattan. 

After a whole hour of waiting and with waiting came an impatient Raphie. 

"How was Japan?" I asked looking up at him as he was balancing one of his upgraded sai's on the tip of his finger, "Seems like you went there and got some new rags," 

Raph grinned and motioned towards his clothes that weren't torn or hand-made, they looked entirely brand new and the bandages around his wrists were crimson red with gold lettering of Chinese like on his mask. 

"Yeah, I got pretty pampered over there. But even with all that luxury we still had to see dad get buried," he shrugged, spinning the weapon on his finger before catching it as it went to fall. 

"Was it nice?"

"Yeah, about as nice as a funeral can get. Though I didn't imagine funerals servin' food afterwords. But it was, it really was nice," he said with a small smile.

"I'm glad you had fun," I replied with a frown. 

"You thinkin' about her again?"

I shook my head, "No, home,"

His lips turned into a frown like my own and sighed, "Yeah, me and Leo didn't really enjoy comin' home to that. Why didn't you call?" 

"Donnie said not to. We'd be bothering you, interrupting your trip,"

Raph pulled me into a tight hug and I melted against him. His musky scent filled my nose with everything I missed about him, "Stop going away," I muttered, nuzzling his neck with my snout. 

"I'm sorry for droppin' on you like that. It was just a mid-moment type of thing or one of those take it or leave it situations. Plus, I couldn't just let Leo do it all by himself. He thinks he's strong but he ain't, and he knows this but is too fuckin' stubborn to admit it," 

Right as Raph was saying this, an SUV pulls into the alleyway and in the driver's seat is the familiar cop lady I met a few years back after Krang went down. 

We all turned to face her as she hopped out of the car, and had a folder in her hand. 

But where was Codey?

ᵀᵒ ᴮᵉ Cᵒⁿᵗⁱⁿᵘᵉᵈ


	46. ᵁⁿʳᵉᶜᵒᵍⁿⁱᶻᵃᵇˡᵉ ᵀʰʳⁱˡˡˢ

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> " ᵂʰᵃᵗ ᴵˢ Yᵒᵘʳ ᴾᵒⁱˢᵒⁿ "   
ᴵˢ ᵇᵃˢᵉᵈ ᵘᵖᵒⁿ ᶜᵒᵐᵖˡᵉᵗᵉ ᶠⁱᶜᵗⁱᵒⁿ ᵃⁿᵈ ⁱᵈᵉᵃ'ˢ ᴴʸᵈʳᵃᵏⁱⁿᶻ, ᴴᵃˢ ᶜᵒˡˡᵉᶜᵗᵉᵈ ᵒᵛᵉʳ ᵗʰᵉ ᵖˡᵒᵗ ᵒᶠ ʰᵉʳ ᶠᵃᵛᵒʳⁱᵗᵉ ᶠᵃⁿᵈᵒᵐ ᵒᶠ ᵃˡˡ ᵗⁱᵐᵉ, ᵀᴹᴺᵀ
> 
> Book Two Out Now! 
> 
> This Story Contains #Turtlecest. 
> 
> ໓໐ຖ't likē, ໓໐ຖ't rēค໓.
> 
> After Raphael and Leonardo think that their brothers are dead from a warehouse explosion, they mourn the deaths of what remained, including the lie and betrayal of their father faking his own death to keep them safe. Raph and Leo try to move on, but more than twenty surprises hit them in the face like a ton of bricks when Donnie and Mike return to the lair after a fight for adventure. Feelings begin to bloom over the loss. And drama forms and rains over their heads like a storm.
> 
> Falling In Love With Your Own Sibling Was Never going to be easy-- but getting them to love you back was a challenge-- Only in reality-- they all loved each other just as equal. 
> 
> Read ᵂʰᵃᵗ ᴵˢ Yᵒᵘʳ ᴾᵒⁱˢᵒⁿ to find out what unfolds right before their eyes, and to be there every step of the way as these four brothers discover what true love and sacrifice truly means to have exactly what you want.

ᵂʰᵃᵗ ᴵˢ Yᵒᵘʳ ᴾᵒⁱˢᵒⁿ

Cʰᵃᵖᵗᵉʳ ˣᴸⱽ

ᵁⁿʳᵉᶜᵒᵍⁿⁱᶻᵃᵇˡᵉ ᵀʰʳⁱˡˡˢ

[ Raphael ]

The world couldn't get any worse at this point. 

Trees were fallin' and bones were breakin' and I couldn't bear to think of how much we've lost.

April, Splinter and even Casey were gone. 

Casey was my friend. I would even call him my best friend, but now, I don't even know who he is. He had the best girl right in his lap and he blew it all because he couldn't handle adulthood. I never thought too much about kids, or even something else other than my brothers with my blood flowin' through its veins. But just knowin' he left his own or even abandoned the kid. It makes him dead to me. 

"Sign here," Vincent said to Donnie who held a pen in between his fingers, "And here," she explained as he wrote along with the piece of paper, "Okay- you're pretty much all set. From here, I'll release these papers into police custody and they'll be put into a court and I'll be vouching for you, so either of you have nothing to worry about,"

"Where's the baby?" Mikey asked, standing next to Donnie while me and Leo stood quietly without saying a word.

"Oh, right, my apologies," Vincent chortled before sending off a signal with her finger, and two men exited the car behind her, and in one hand, one of the men was carrying a basket type thing but there was a blue blanket covering the top of it. 

"Is that him?" Donnie questioned, sounding a little astounded. 

"Gentlemen," she says, waving her hand and pulling the blanket from the basket and underneath revealed what we all had been waiting for, "From my assumption, this little guy is what you all have been dying to meet. Though, I am terribly sorry for your loss. The staff told me that Ms. O'Neil was happy that you all were waiting for her and Codey"

"The staff knew about us?" Leo asked stepping forward and glancing down at the baby who was snug in that basket. 

"Yes, quite a lot of them knew about you four, because you saved the city but it was all due to some people not being so sure on how to keep their mouth shut," Vincent joked, looking down at the child and smiled, "Do you four even know how to care for a baby?"

"Yes. At least I do," Donnie answered, "I can always teach my brothers the ways of the routine and not," 

"What about diapers, and all the other junk?" 

"We have that covered," Donnie said, not being able to take his eyes off of Codey.

"I trust you, Donatello. I trust all of you with my heart. That's why I went through with this because I know damn sure that you four would be great for this child. Specifically, because Ms. O'Neil and Mr. Jones would want this, even though I'm not very happy with him, or concerned about his well being and I'm sure you aren't either,"

"He abandoned him," I announced, looking at Chief Vincent with all of my honesty intact, "Left him as ours did us,"

She looked up at me but she understood in some aspect, "As I said, I trust you four to take care of this boy and to raise him as your own. Turn him into something that doesn't exactly exist in this world," she smiled, handing over the basket to Donnie who happily took it, "We'll be seeing you, Gentlemen,'

We watched Chief Vincent and her men get back into her car and disappear around the street, leaving us in the alleyway alone with the smallest human being I have ever seen.

"What do we do now?" Mikey asked, tilting at the baby who was still asleep. 

"Now, we go back to April's place," Don said.

"Wait, we can't run with that thing or do the shit we normally do-- I don't even think it was meant to be released this early!" Leo stepped in, practically hovering over the child. 

Donnie sighed, "Rebecca pulled some strings, and no, we can't. But this is why we're a team, correct?"

"Yeah," I said, "We'll need to take one step at a time. It's time we slow down with our daily adventures, yeah?" 

Mikey giggles at my joke and leans down towards Codey and lightly touches at his hand, but he doesn't stir from sleep, thankfully. 

"He truly is a fighter, aye?" Mikey says, "We got another ninja dude in the family"

"Where are we laying low at, Donnie?" Leo barked, making me glare at him. He obviously had an attitude building and I didn't like the sound of it. 

Donnie sighs and fiddles with his glasses for only a moment and looks towards Leo, waiting "We'll go back to April's apartment. All the stuff we need is there,"

"That cop lady also left a bag too," Mikey said picking the small bag up off the ground that was sitting close to Donnie's foot. The bag had many pockets on it but was covered in teddy bears. 

"The baby bag," Donnie smiled, "Put that over your shoulder, and let's get out of here before we're seen,"

"Not so private now. Seem's like the whole hospital knows who we are," I remarked, climbing up the ladder of the side of the building and jumping up, and the second one up was Leo who gave me the basket and for some reason, I started getting nervous. 

"All those police at the Statue Of Liberty that night must have said something to someone. Word spread about four giant reptiles roaming the city undergrounds. But so far, we might be in the clear. I'm sure Rebecca cleared it," Donnie said following from behind.

"How the hell are we meant to jump with this thing?" I questioned, checking if the baby was still asleep.

"Why don't we just get a car?" Mikey suggested looking off the side of the building at whatever was down there.

"A car. Mikey, you're kidding right?" Leo said, "We can't get a car without-"

"Stealing one. Yeah!" Mikey beamed. 

"I'm down for it," 

"Shut up, Raph. We aren't stealing a vehicle. I'm not committing a crime today!" Leo warned off and I rolled my eyes.

"You committed plenty back in Japan. Do I need to name them the fuck off?" 

"Would you two be quiet!" Donnie scolded, "Leo, I'm gonna need you to let your guard down for just a minute. We gotta do this,"

Leo stared off for a minute but then he glanced around almost in a panic, "Where's Mikey?"

"Oh no," I laughed.

"Hey, Guys!" I heard our little brother howl off from below, and in the alleyway over, he was standing next to an SUV almost like the one Chief Vincent was in. 

"The fuck are you doing?" Leo shouted from the top of the building with his teeth clenched, "Get back up here, now!"

"Come on, bro, the keys are in the ignition and everything!" Mikey said opening the passenger door and getting in without reason. 

"Goddammit, Mikey" I swore, "Donnie, can you get down with the baby?"

My brother quickly took the basket from me and went another way at getting off of the building and I'm sure being safe was going to be his motto from now on.

I jumped over the edge and landed near the vehicle Mikey hopped into and from the way it looked, it was a nice car. It was all Gray and pretty sleek and even looked expensive at some tastes. 

"Mikey," I whispered, but too loudly to actually be a whisper, "Quit playin' around,"

Leo followed in behind me shortly and was quick to move around the car, and was first to get into the driver's side, "Mikey, you idiot, this is probably someone else's car!"

I checked inside the car myself and didn't see Mikey anywhere, but once I was inside I saw that the keys actually were in the ignition. 

"Holy shit,"

By the time Donnie found us, Leo was sitting stationary in the driver's seat and I was in next to him, but I still couldn't see Mikey. The goofball probably wanted to ride shotgun in the fuckin' trunk. 

"Are we really doing this?" Don asked climbing into the back and buckling the basket into place. Which now I get the reason for the holes in it. It wasn't a basket. It was just a car seat meant for infants. 

"I guess so, considering Mikey won't back down. We'll just need to find somewhere to park it when we're finished. Can't believe that idiot talked me into this," Leo moaned, gripping his hands around the steering wheel. 

"He's not an idiot, knucklehead. Now, fuckin' drive," I growled in his direction, earning an eye roll from him as he turned the key in the ignition, making the engine rumble to life, except this car, was quiet. It was no horse powering machine. 

Once we pulled out of the alleyway I was just thinking about my brother's driving skills. From what I can remember from our teen years, I don't really think I've ever seen him drive professionally like I knew Donnie could. 

"Uh, guys," I heard my little brother chirp from the backseat, who made me and rest but the driver turn our heads to look at him, and in his hand was one of the biggest assault rifles I've ever seen, "What's this?"

Donnie's eyes grew in size and all I could do was just fuckin' stare, "Mikey, where the hell did you get that?"

"Get what?" Leo asked looking at Mikey through the rearview mirror. 

"There's like a whole box of them back here!" Mikey beamed like this situation was fuckin' cool.

Suddenly Leo practically stomped on the breaks once we turned on the eighth street avenue, which was the way to April's apartment.

"A whole box?" Donnie scoffed peering over the back seat and into the trunk, "Oh my god," he nearly choked while running a hand over the top of his head. 

"I think we did take someone else's car," I clarified, sitting back in my seat and watching the road. 

A row of horns sounded off behind us, which made everyone in the car except me jump. Random vehicles began to bypass us on the street.

"Fuck!" Leo cursed, "We must have taken one of those people's cars!"

"What fuckin' people, Leo?" I questioned starting to get a kick out of all this.

"It's not fucking funny, Raphael!" he shouted, forgetting that there was a child in the car. 

Almost a second after he yelled, the baby croaked a small whine and began full-on crying its eyes out. 

"Now look what you did, Leo!" Donnie scolded, trying to attend to the baby the best he could, "And on top of that, you keep cursing around him, enough of that!"

"We can't even say fuck around him?" I asked cocking my head off to one side without even looking at my brother. 

"No, Raph,"

"No, shit? Or maybe, damn, hell or what about the C-word?" Mikey continued making me grin as the baby cried in the back seat. 

"No, Michelangelo!" 

"Are we not focusing on the fact that there is fuc-- guns," Leo paused, "There are guns in the back! What if this car belongs to a mobster!"

"It's Blackmarket crap you're dealin' with, Leo," I explained as he continued on down the road, but being slower this time, "The best thing we can do is drop the car off someplace else, but make sure it's in another alleyway-- that's normally where they do their business anyway and most of the time these type of business' don't last very long anyway and if anything maybe we can sell em' right off the street,"

"Are you nuts?" Leo scoffed, "We're not breaking any more laws today!"

"It could be a great plan if we ever need any money!" Mikey suggested resting his head on the back of the seat which I could totally see from the side mirror on my door. He let his hand dangle over for the baby to play with. And surprisingly it took ahold of his finger, which made the little rascal stop crying. 

I remember when people always said that a baby crying or even giving birth was the worst experience of motherhood. The cryin' wasn't all that bad once you got used to it. Maybe it was just a turtle thing- who knows. 

"We're here," Leo announced, looking around the car like somebody was fuckin' stalking us. 

"How are we gonna get in? We don't have uh, April's key" Don frowned, looking back towards the baby.

"One of us we'll have to climb to the roof and get in by the window. Raph'll do it. He can get in and unlock the door from the inside, and let us in," Leo says pulling the keys from the ignition. 

"And what if someone sees us?" Mikey questions, swirling his finger around in the baby's hand, making him giggle. 

"We'll manage. We'll be quick. I think you three can manage that, can't you?" Leo glared off, as we all nodded in agreement. 

"You know how fucked up this is, right?" I asked glancing at Leo from the corner of my eye.

"Raph!" Donnie interrupted with a smack to my shoulder.

"Sorry," I grinned, looking back towards my brothers, then at the baby who looked right up at me, and for a moment, I was speechless. 

He was simply beautiful. A beautiful thing I didn't think April or Casey and his ugly mug could make. April was an exception but no, this- it was truly perfection. 

This was my life now. 

It was all of our lives. We were caring for a baby-- an actual baby. 

I couldn't believe I was sayin' this. Or even thinkin' it. 

Could I truly be Daddy Material?

ᵀᵒ ᴮᵉ Cᵒⁿᵗⁱⁿᵘᵉᵈ


	47. ᴹⁱʳᵃᶜˡᵉˢ ᴬʳᵉ Fᵒʳ Fᵒᵒˡˢ

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> " ᵂʰᵃᵗ ᴵˢ Yᵒᵘʳ ᴾᵒⁱˢᵒⁿ "   
ᴵˢ ᵇᵃˢᵉᵈ ᵘᵖᵒⁿ ᶜᵒᵐᵖˡᵉᵗᵉ ᶠⁱᶜᵗⁱᵒⁿ ᵃⁿᵈ ⁱᵈᵉᵃ'ˢ ᴴʸᵈʳᵃᵏⁱⁿᶻ, ᴴᵃˢ ᶜᵒˡˡᵉᶜᵗᵉᵈ ᵒᵛᵉʳ ᵗʰᵉ ᵖˡᵒᵗ ᵒᶠ ʰᵉʳ ᶠᵃᵛᵒʳⁱᵗᵉ ᶠᵃⁿᵈᵒᵐ ᵒᶠ ᵃˡˡ ᵗⁱᵐᵉ, ᵀᴹᴺᵀ
> 
> Book Two Out Now! 
> 
> This Story Contains #Turtlecest. 
> 
> ໓໐ຖ't likē, ໓໐ຖ't rēค໓.
> 
> After Raphael and Leonardo think that their brothers are dead from a warehouse explosion, they mourn the deaths of what remained, including the lie and betrayal of their father faking his own death to keep them safe. Raph and Leo try to move on, but more than twenty surprises hit them in the face like a ton of bricks when Donnie and Mike return to the lair after a fight for adventure. Feelings begin to bloom over the loss. And drama forms and rains over their heads like a storm.
> 
> Falling In Love With Your Own Sibling Was Never going to be easy-- but getting them to love you back was a challenge-- Only in reality-- they all loved each other just as equal. 
> 
> Read ᵂʰᵃᵗ ᴵˢ Yᵒᵘʳ ᴾᵒⁱˢᵒⁿ to find out what unfolds right before their eyes, and to be there every step of the way as these four brothers discover what true love and sacrifice truly means to have exactly what you want.

ᵂʰᵃᵗ ᴵˢ Yᵒᵘʳ ᴾᵒⁱˢᵒⁿ

Cʰᵃᵖᵗᵉʳ ˣᴸⱽᴵ

ᴹⁱʳᵃᶜˡᵉˢ ᴬʳᵉ Fᵒʳ Fᵒᵒˡˢ

[ Michelangelo ]

It had been a whole week since April's death. 

It was nearly summer, and little Codey was almost a month old. Time kept flying as the days swept by and nothing was heard from our dear friend, Casey Jones. 

Nobody except for Donatello was allowed to hold the baby due to his growth in strange protection over him. It was kinda sweet though and annoying because I wasn't that clumsy. 

Or at least I thought so. 

The majority of the time, I sat and watched Don tend to the baby like he's actually its mother. It was funny to see him being like this. But kinda cute. 

Since Codey came into our lives, Raph refuses to hold the baby because he's afraid he'll drop it. Leo avoids him completely which was something we couldn't understand. He seemed almost harsh and even hateful. 

"Are you ever goin' to let him outta your sight?" Raph asked watching Donatello shake a bottle in each hand. 

"Probably not, considering that being a parent is a full-time job," Donnie smirks, "Maybe you two need to realize that,"

"We would if you'd just let us hold him!" I complained, with a roll of my eyes in annoyance, while I smugly rested my chin on my arms. 

"I don't wanna hold that thing" Raph stated, holding both of his hands up in agreement with himself. 

"But Codey likes you, Raphie!" I mused smiling up at him, and he glares at me in response, making me giggle at his expression. 

"Anybody know where Leo went this morning?" Donnie asks, switching off the stove and moving the same pot he had been using for the past hour. He called the stuff he was fixing formula. 

"He left?" Raph asked, looking at our taller brother who nodded his head.

"He's been acting really weird since April died," I muttered, staring across the bar, "Like, not our type of weird, but another kind of weird. I wished you'd talk to him, D,"

"What am I meant to do for him? One minute he's fine, the next he's all over me, then, he's not and ready to get the hell away from me, from us. He won't even look at Codey!" Donnie went on, obviously getting irritated by my mention to straighten his mate out. 

"He hasn't really been actin' straight here lately- at least that I can vouch for," Raph said lifting the dumbbells in his fists a few dozen times a minute. I wondered a moment where he got those, but then I just figured Casey would have left that crap behind. 

"He's super confusing" Donnie sighs, "I'm fine with complicated you guys, but I can't handle his back and forth antics. He's becoming someone I don't even know," 

A small cry comes from the second bedroom in the apartment and as the seconds went on, the cries were getting louder, and louder. 

"Can I go?" I asked looking at my brother who eyed me suspiciously, "Please?"

"I'll have to show you how to hold him," Donnie remarks but putting down whatever he was holding and leaves the kitchen. 

I glanced at Raph and smiled hugely, "Come on!" 

I quickly got up from the barstool and followed Donnie into the nursery which to me looked like the most comfortable room I had ever seen since I laid my eyes on it. 

Codey was throwing a fit in Donnie's arms by the time I caught up with him, with Raph making a trail in behind me. I walked in and watched the baby in amazement. He was truly something and that something was my odds of never seeing something like this. I always thought I'd only see this kinda stuff on television. 

"He's kinda cute," Raph said, standing in the doorway. 

"Are you kidding? He's freakin' adorable!" I gushed, rubbing the top of his head with the tip of my finger. 

"You sure you wanna hold him?" Donnie questions, bouncing the baby in his arms very lightly and soon his cries subside.

"I know Mikey better than anyone, and I think he'll be just fine," Raph chuckled from behind me and I shot him a glare. 

"Okay well, watch his head, and for God, sakes don't drop him please," Donnie begged, getting ready to hand the baby over to me. I cradled him in my arms once I finally got him and I suddenly felt really emotional. I was technically like an uncle at this point. 

Wouldn't I Be? Or maybe just a big brother to this little guy.

"Wow," I breathed mimicking Donatello's bouncing movements I saw before, "Hey there! You look so tiny but when you're actually in my arms, you're even smaller than I thought," 

"You're doing pretty good," Don said with a smile on his face, "Maybe the big bad Raph can go next," 

"I'm good," Raph denied, as before.

"Oh, come on, Raphie," 

"No, Mikey-- keep that thing away from me," Raph remarked before standing back, but I just kept pushing forward until he was out of room to avoid me. 

"Just once, You'll love it!" 

"He is right," Donnie laughs, "Just try it, Raph,"

Raphael's eyes switched between me, my brother and the child in my hands, and from the expression on his face, he seemed surprised. Over what was the mystery and eventually, he huffed loudly and nodded his head. 

I nearly jumped over excitement, but I needed to remind myself that when a week old infant was in my arms, things like that were off-limits. 

Raph held his arms open and readied himself with a sigh as I passed Codey over to him. And when Raph held a human baby in his arms, he looked odd but even better than he did before. Not to mention how uncomfortable he was already feeling. 

"Jeez, you are small," he said, being able to cradle the baby with just one arm, and with a gentle touch, Raph held his finger up to him and he so happily took ahold of it, and even began sucking on it. 

"I think he's hungry," Donnie announced, "Let's get back to the living room, I'll fetch you a bottle," 

"Aren't kids supposed to be breastfed?" Raph asked as we followed our brother into the kitchen. 

"Correct. But we aren't capable of doing that. Though a fun fact behind motherhood when they do breastfeed, they call it the Turtle Method," Donnie said, making me confused. 

"Why do they call it the Turtle Method?" 

"Because, Mikey, as we all know, when a turtle is stuck on it's back, it's more in a missionary position, which means they are easily guided towards the chest of their mother without force. Some mothers prefer to force them to attach, but using that method helps," Donnie explained while grabbing a bottle from the fridge and popping the cap on it. 

He handed it to Raph, who knew exactly what to do with it, and Codey happily took the end into his mouth and started drinking from it. 

"This is kind of hot," I mentioned, almost covering my mouth because that wasn't actually meant to be said out loud. 

"What is?" Donnie asked as Raph smirked at me still feeding the baby. 

"Nothing," I nervously laughed. 

"Oh, I think Mikey here has the hot's for Daddy Raph," Donnie then laughed, making me blush out of embarrassment. 

"Shut up, Don," I whined, smacking him on the arm. 

We all started giggling by the time Leo strolled in through the broken window by the sofa in the living room. 

Donnie stopped laughing abruptly when he saw him, and I did too, he was riddled with blood and even had bullet holes in his plastron. That I knew would soon disappear, but that didn't make the situation less stressful.

"What happened to you?" Donnie frantically asked, running over to him, "Are you shot?" 

"No," he grumbled, "I'm glad you three are in here laughing like a bunch of children while I'm out there fighting your battles,"

"What're ya talkin' about, Leo?" 

"I'm talking about that black market bullshit you told me about, Raphael!" Leo nearly shouts, making the baby figit in Raph's arms, but it continues to drink from the bottle anyway. 

"Keep your voice down!" Donnie warned, snatching Leo by the arm to look for any wounds. 

"That fucking car we stole days ago has come back to bite us in the ass, and today I got shot at by four men!" Leo swore, sounding as if he could crush someone's head by now. 

"You need to quiet down, right now!" Donnie warned a second but final time, "I won't say it again, Leonardo!"

"Why do I need to be quiet, Donnie? So that thing can be all comfortable and sleep all innocent while his dead beat father runs off after his wife dies!" 

Before Leo could get every word out, Donnie smacks him straight across the face in front of everyone, including the baby who was finishing off the rest of that bottle Raph held for him. 

Leo's head was cocked off to one side and the look on his face was strict and even tight, but filled with shock. 

I felt a bolt of electricity shoot down my spine, and if Leo even made one false move to attack my brother, I was going to jump his bones right here, right now. 

Donnie seemed just as shocked for hitting Leo in front of us all, but he didn't move an inch. 

"Sorry," was all Leo said before leaving the room and harshly slamming the door behind him. Although I didn't hear a lock click or anything I was the first to make a bold move run after him.

Codey began crying again once I was out of reach, and he probably got scared of all the yelling and stuff. I couldn't blame him, but it was something he was going to have to get used to. 

I did. 

I didn't bother knocking on the door before entering and when I did, I closed it behind me again, and this time I locked it. 

Leo was on the bed with his head down. 

"The hell is the matter with you, dude?" 

He was quiet to respond, and for the next five seconds, he didn't say anything or even move. But eventually, he turned his head to look at me but only halfway. I saw his eyes flicker at me for a minute, but then he turned his head to look out the window again, which led off to a balcony. 

"I don't know," he finally said with a sigh through his snout. I could see from some angle that he was fiddling with his fingers, which was something I didn't know he did. 

"You don't know?" 

"No, Michelangelo. I really don't. For once, I don't know the answer to one of your questions," he answers, lowering his head again. 

"I don't get it, Leo. We don't get it. We don't get you anymore. Your mood swings are like the weather around here, and I am seriously getting worried for you! Donnie doesn't even have the time to worry about you. He's denying how he feels about Splinters Death, including Aprils. He wants to kill Casey as do the rest of us, but now, he has to worry about you," I go on, practically babbling as I talk and for a second, I see a smile on Leo's face.

"You truly are as annoying as they say you are," he mutters with a slight laugh behind his tone. 

I roll my eyes, "I think you're more on that side now than I ever was as a kid," I clarified, crossing my arms stubbornly.

Leo stands and moves around the bed slowly and just stares at me, "You're still a kid to me,"

"Yeah, well, I don't. I think I've grown a lot, especially since I killed someone, lost my virginity and even became Nexus Champion," I proudly said with a smile. 

"You're annoying and really frustrating at times, but entirely adorable in others," he says, totally catching me off guard. 

I chuckle, "What?"

"You heard me, Mike," Leo stats, coming closer until he's only inches. 

The professional organ in my body begins to thump rapidly in my chest and the way my eldest brother was staring at me almost scared me, creeped me out, or worse, turned me on. 

"Your bitterness is alluring," Leo says staring down at me with lidded eyes, "Including your continuous childlike behavior,"

I watched Leo's eyes as they began to turn two different colors of blue within a second, and I took a step back but he took hold of my wrist and pulled me in closer, making sure I felt the heat coming from his sheathed shell, and I did. I felt it immediately and almost choked from the wave of intensity that just hit me. 

Leo's hand gripped tight on my wrist and for a moment, I nearly forgot who I was looking at, but I didn't, this was my brother, my leader. 

Who looked fucking hot right now. 

But why did he? Was this apart of his Chi, or his control? Maybe both, or maybe not maybe at all. This was just that! It couldn't be much more. Or even then, it might just be with how attracted I felt towards him. 

Towards all of my siblings. 

"My little, Mikey," Leo whispered with his deep-toned voice, sending more chills down my spine like earlier, but these, no, these were different. I felt his hand at my cheek, caressing and lifting on my face, making me look at him a little better. 

I think I could even see a flush on his green cheeks, but I wasn't so sure of myself right about now. And even then, I didn't care, and even all at the same time, I did. I really fucking did. 

But I fought it. I fought against my self-control to forget everything else in this world and focused on his ocean eyes. Ones like mine but deeper and darker in color. 

Beautiful. But Leo, why Leo of all people?

My thoughts were running wild with nothing but the possibilities of what was about to happen. But I could be wrong like usually or just for once, I was going to be the opposite. 

"Leo, you're confusing everyone," I said letting my voice fall to a whisper, but loud enough for him to hear the undeniable whimper I let slip. 

"I don't understand myself anymore," he confessed, running the pad of his thumb over my chin, "But right now, Michelangelo, I'm thinking about other things,"

"I can only imagine, you perv," 

"For once, I'll agree with you," he smiled.

"Your actions will cause issues, and we can't have any more than we already have," I cleared, trying to pull my head from Leo's grasp but he didn't budge or step off. It was how he was. 

Leo always got what he wanted, and if he didn't, he would find a way to get it. 

"What issues do we have now?" he questioned, not breaking eye contact with me while making my cheeks heat up a little more. Which was always embarrassing to me, but cute to the others.

"I know what you and Raph were up to in Japan. I know you still think about him. You two kissed, yet this time, he wanted it,"

Leo's expression changes, but he remains still. He almost looked shocked again, but how could he. He knew what I was capable of. 

"How do you always find these things out?" 

I stared up at him with a darker face this time, "How does Raph see visions? How does Don manipulate electricity? And me, how do I control the wind in the air and reverse the abilities of it all? We all can do something around here. It's not that hard to figure out. And as we grow to know what we are capable of, we develop more. And for the final thing-" I paused a minute, almost laughing at what I'm about to say but I stop myself as Leo looks at me dumbfounded, "If you truly love someone, you just kinda know," 

"I don't even know how you've grown to be so smart," he smiles, "Am I supposed to say I'm proud?" 

"No, but if you're willing to put your hands on me, then you better plan to do something other than caress me," I smirked, "Though I find this a little strange, bro,"

"I think we're the idea of strange," Leo says before leaning down to my eye level and pressing a soft kiss to my lips.

ᵀᵒ ᴮᵉ Cᵒⁿᵗⁱⁿᵘᵉᵈ


	48. Cˡᵉᵃⁿⁱⁿᵍ ᴼᵘᵗ ᴹʸ Cˡᵒˢᵉᵗ

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> " ᵂʰᵃᵗ ᴵˢ Yᵒᵘʳ ᴾᵒⁱˢᵒⁿ "   
ᴵˢ ᵇᵃˢᵉᵈ ᵘᵖᵒⁿ ᶜᵒᵐᵖˡᵉᵗᵉ ᶠⁱᶜᵗⁱᵒⁿ ᵃⁿᵈ ⁱᵈᵉᵃ'ˢ ᴴʸᵈʳᵃᵏⁱⁿᶻ, ᴴᵃˢ ᶜᵒˡˡᵉᶜᵗᵉᵈ ᵒᵛᵉʳ ᵗʰᵉ ᵖˡᵒᵗ ᵒᶠ ʰᵉʳ ᶠᵃᵛᵒʳⁱᵗᵉ ᶠᵃⁿᵈᵒᵐ ᵒᶠ ᵃˡˡ ᵗⁱᵐᵉ, ᵀᴹᴺᵀ
> 
> Book Two Out Now! 
> 
> This Story Contains #Turtlecest. 
> 
> ໓໐ຖ't likē, ໓໐ຖ't rēค໓.
> 
> After Raphael and Leonardo think that their brothers are dead from a warehouse explosion, they mourn the deaths of what remained, including the lie and betrayal of their father faking his own death to keep them safe. Raph and Leo try to move on, but more than twenty surprises hit them in the face like a ton of bricks when Donnie and Mike return to the lair after a fight for adventure. Feelings begin to bloom over the loss. And drama forms and rains over their heads like a storm.
> 
> Falling In Love With Your Own Sibling Was Never going to be easy-- but getting them to love you back was a challenge-- Only in reality-- they all loved each other just as equal. 
> 
> Read ᵂʰᵃᵗ ᴵˢ Yᵒᵘʳ ᴾᵒⁱˢᵒⁿ to find out what unfolds right before their eyes, and to be there every step of the way as these four brothers discover what true love and sacrifice truly means to have exactly what you want.

ᵂʰᵃᵗ ᴵˢ Yᵒᵘʳ ᴾᵒⁱˢᵒⁿ

Cʰᵃᵖᵗᵉʳ ˣᴸⱽᴵᴵ

Cˡᵉᵃⁿⁱⁿᵍ ᴼᵘᵗ ᴹʸ Cˡᵒˢᵉᵗ

[ Leonardo ]

A few days into Casey's disappearance had me skeptical, although dumbfounded because I wasn't here to set him straight. Donatello or Mikey wouldn't dare come as half as close to what I was capable of doing to the guy if I ever saw him again. 

I'm sure Raph would agree with me on this subject. But I had to keep it all buried within my body or else my brothers would start worrying more than they already were, which I understood. But I couldn't bring myself to care. I was at too much fault. I had to fix things somehow. I had to find some way to make it up to what remained of my family.

With my Father officially in his resting place, and my dear friend April departed, I can't bear with the thought. But then her son, he was born without a father who was ready to leave the moment he was developing in his mother's womb.

As time passes, and the more the days go by without him making a show, the angrier I got. 

It was around three in the morning on an early Sunday and I couldn't bother sleeping as my brothers could. They all slept like babies. Too many thoughts were swimming around inside of my head and at this point, the only thing to make them go away would be to take matters into my own hands and act upon my thoughts.

I wondered quietly through April's apartment, making sure to check if my brothers were actually asleep, and all three, including Codey, were out of it. 

It was the first time I ever came into the nursery and I knew what my siblings, including my mate, were thinking about my actions. They were wondering if I hated the baby or despised his presence. But it wasn't likely of the possibility. 

It was just a new thing for me. Everyone including Raphael accepted it. 

Raph was a softie at heart. So, this didn't come to a surprise for me. 

All in all, it was kinda cute of him. But watching my brothers turn every inch of attention towards something I never thought they'd care about shocked me to the core. The responsibility behind such a thing was a shot in the dark for them. They've made me proud, but also skeptical. 

I'm sure they hated Casey just as much as I did right now, but for what I wanted, this had to be a job I had to do on my own terms as I planned. 

The look on Codey's face was peaceful. He was an infant and maybe that was the reason, but from what I read in the book I gave to April, it had been said babies don't feel pain, nor do they think as we do. I envied the kid. I miss being his age more than I ever thought I would. He doesn't have to worry about anything except getting his next meal which according to Donnie, that would never be a thing to think about. He would always be fed, bathed and taken care of by each of us no matter what happens. 

I slowly leaned down over Codey's crib and slid one arm underneath his body and lifted him up against me, and to my surprise, he was pretty heavy although small for a child only a week or two old. I understood the feeling my brothers got when they held him. It was a lightweight feeling to hold something so precious, yet so small in my arms.

I instantly felt the need to protect him with my life let alone my own. I felt connected to him the moment I touched him, and once he was up in my arms, he stirred and glanced up at me with his green eyes piercing through my own. 

The second he focused on me, he released a laugh that I've never heard come out of a human being but this wasn't necessarily a human being right? He was a child, who knew nothing about me, or what we were capable of doing to him, or others.

But that was a story I assumed he'd learn about when he was older, maybe. We would even make him like us. We would teach him everything he needed to know as my dad did with me. 

But I wasn't this boy's father, I don't guess. But I think Donatello would disagree. He was more of a mother figure, and the rest of us were sort of like a male figure for him. He basically had three days if you put it in those types of words. 

It put a warm feeling in my stomach, where this moment was a moment I didn't want to end too soon. Though I knew it would have to. I stared at the kid for a while until he was stretching his left hand towards me, and with little resistance, a smile crept on my face. I gave him my finger like I've seen my brothers do, which seemed to be something he really loved. 

As expected, he gripped it tight which made my smile widen. 

"Maybe when you grow up, you'll forgive me," I say to him just before I place him back into the crib where he slept at, only though it was rare he slept here. The majority of the times he's been around me sleeping it was always him on one of my brothers. I read that keeping the baby close to the heart always meant good things. And on top of that, I figured that in the shadows, Donatello was teaching the other two tips and tricks about him. Although I understood why he didn't bother with me.

I even felt why but there was nothing I could do to make it up to him. He thought I didn't care. Thinks I don't care about our family or even what remained of it. But deep down, somewhere I still do. And always will.

I padded into the living area, where Raph and Mikey slept at most the time, if not they both hogged the couch like two lazy pigs. But neither of them could manage to be away from one another a second longer than they'd have to be since we went to Japan again.

Those two were inseparable. 

I took one final look at the entire apartment and disappeared out the back window that we all used to enter or exit once we had someplace to go, and tonight. I did. 

I was on a mission to make not only myself feel better, but to put the fear of God into someone I've known for years. And with what I plan to do, it'll make those years worth the wait but the best and worst decision he ever made.

It began raining but there was no thunder yet. I ran along the rooftops until I reached the main square, where every root of light sat in middle Manhattan. It was like a city by itself. And a place that never slept. They always said that about New York, but no, this was the area that never shut down, even if there was a shooting or robbery and that was a skill I needed to worry about with Casey Jones. 

He used to be in the police force. But once Rebecca Vincent made her final choices of trust for him, she let him go, which was what I assumed, triggered the amount of immaturity he's gone this length for. 

He let his wife die, and walked away from the only thing left of her behind. All for whoever he'd promised his life to. And tonight was a decision that lingered in the air for me to involve this other woman, along with her own life to witness. 

I saw from below the bookstore Donatello mentioned weeks before, and inside, only one light remained. I figured this was one of those buildings where this woman-owned the store, but lived above it in a studio apartment. And to my guessing, I was correct, because by the time I snapped the lock on the side window away from any possibility of exposing myself I slipped in, and saw the place for my own eyes. 

It was neat, unlike Casey Jones. It was nice for a small place only one woman lived in. Maybe she knew how to use a gun too, and I was just playing this lady for a fool for getting involved with a slimeball. 

Once I took my first step into what I guessed was the living space, a light in the hall flicked on, completely revealing my position and where I stood. But I didn't move, and only prepared for what I wanted, (needed) to happen. 

"Who's there?" asked a feminine voice, who got louder the moment she set foot into the living room and spotted me, which created horror on her face. Almost amusing me. She released a scream, but stopped once another person bumped into her from behind, and when he saw me, not only did his face mimick the ladies, he turned pale white from my presence. 

"Call the police, Casey!" the woman yelled in his face, but he didn't move, only blinked rapidly at me in complete shock. 

"Leo," he nervously greets me with a laugh, "What're you doin' here?"

I walked around the small recliner that was placed neatly on the brown carpet that covered the hardwood flooring beneath my own Kimono shoes. I was slow, calm, and very alarmed at my own pace to get inch by inch closer to him. 

"You know this, monster?" the lady questioned, seeming even more surprised than before.

"The question lies in between, why and what am I doing here, Casey" I answered with a sneer in my step. But I kept my hand ready for my weapons, although I didn't plan on hurting him.

Not much.

I could smell his fear, and the lump in his throat was practically stuck there for me to see and muse about. I took slow steps again and stopped just inches from the hallway and the arch connecting from the room I was standing in and the hall wasn't even tall enough for me to walk through. 

"Just go back into the bedroom, honey and I'll take care of this," Casey explained to his lover who at first refused to leave, but obeyed, though I don't know why because his dirty little secrets come to an end here. 

"How exactly will you take care of me, Casey?" I questioned calmly as I watched him carefully yet spiritually. 

The woman at his side didn't move away from him or listen to anything he told her to do, but she still remained horrified from the look on her face. I assumed she never expected to see a fictional character come to life. The thought nearly made me smile. 

"You aren't going to hurt him, are you? Whatever you are," the woman scoffed, sounding a little edged from this sudden intrusion. 

I tilted my head, "April died without knowing you were seeing someone behind her back,"

"What?" the lady gasped staring directly at the man next to her. 

"And you left Codey all alone in that hospital," I continued, feeling my tone getting deeper. My veins were trickling with anger, and both of my hands itched for my katanas. I wanted to rip this guy's head off. 

"Who the hell is this thing talking about?" Michelle pushed, landing a hand on his shoulder, but he paid no mind. The stare on his face was only priceless but horrified. 

I stepped another inch closer while ducking my head beneath the archway that led towards the couple in front of me. I felt my veins crackling like rockets at this point and only seconds remaining until I explode. 

"Look, Leo," he breathes, "I'm really sorry about everything and I am just as devasted as you are about April, and even the baby-- I thought," Casey pauses with a sigh. "When April was pregnant, they always told us he wouldn't live past five months, then he did, but then he was having trouble developing his own lungs, and they gave her steroids for it,"

"Wait, you have a baby?" Michelle asked with wide eyes. I was at a point where I had hope that she'd just slap him where I didn't have to.

"You didn't tell your rebound about your wife, or your two-week-old child, that's healthy and happy without knowing his real father walked away from him, and his dead mother?" I accused, clenching my right fist. 

"I told Donatello about what was going on. I figured he would have just let you know about it. I'm sorry, man, that life, with her, and with all of the drama with you and the turtles, I just- I don't know, Leo. I'm sorry" he went on, making my blood boil. 

How could one human being be so, selfish and inconsiderate? 

I wrapped my fingers around the sleeve of my katana and slowly unsheathed it, but holding it tight at my side. The look at the couple's face was almost ghostly when I pulled out my weapon. When my heart sped up, and my breathing quickened, I already admitted to myself that I enjoyed the sight of making someone else fear me as all those other psychopaths did.

I wanted to make this man shiver all the way down his spine and into what shoes he was currently wearing. He deserved it for hurting April, even if she didn't know about his affair. He deserved to die for walking away from his son whom he thought possibly died when that was a big fat fucking lie. 

"Leo," I heard a familiar voice call, but it was a quiet call. And by the time I turned my head towards the sound, I was decked in the face and for only a split second, my vision went so blurry that I couldn't see. 

Casey took off running towards the front door and every instinct I've been holding back kicked in, and even then at that moment in the back of my mind, I felt bad for what I was about to do. But once my vision returned, every thought was gone. It all vanished and I was after him. 

I practically jumped over my own feet as I ran, and even though I was inside, I felt like I wasn't due to how fast I was going to get my hands on this man I've known for years. I heard shouts and screams once I reached Casey. He got the front door open about an inch or two before I forced it to slam shut. I gripped the base of his shoulders and threw him on the ground. He slid across the floor and went as far as being right back in the hallway next to his lady friend who was shrieking for me to stop, to go away or even that I could take her money to leave him be. 

I wondered why this woman would even consider protecting him, or defending him in any way possible. She just found out that she was apart of a three-way go around with his wife and kid. Yet she's still protecting this fool. 

Idiot.

I had the tip of my blade at his throat when I felt a hand on my shoulder, and when I looked over to see who the hell was touching me, I lost all focus. 

"Donnie," I almost choked. 

"Stand down, Leo," he said, but also demanded in a quiet tone, gripping my right bicep. His eyes were deep, in shock and curious from my actions I'm sure.

"He deserves it," I simply answered, almost losing grip over my weapon.

"Let him go," Donnie cooed, making me finally step back and retract my weapon from Casey who was sweating bullets on the hallway floor. 

I took one final look at him and Michelle. She looked relieved but remained scared at the sight of us both. I was the first to move towards the window I came in through, and Donnie followed in behind me. 

I didn't stop moving until I couldn't catch my own breath. I realized when I stopped, I got as far as three blocks before I finally took a moment. Donatello, of course, kept up with me. And when I turned to look at him, the look on his own face was almost fearful.

"How'd you find me?" 

"I followed you," Don scoffs, making me regret my question. "I was awake when you went into Codey's room, I know you held him, talked to him, then you made a decision to kill his father," 

I turned and stomped away from him, "Why'd you stop me? He needed to know how April would have felt if she knew what he was doing!" I yelled off, but Donnie interrupted. 

He sighed, "You know I wanted to, we all wanted to. But we have a son now, someone to look after in April's name. Do you have any idea how happy it made me when I saw you holding him? For days you've been acting like you despise him or even the attention we've been giving him,"

I shook my head almost laughing at him. "I'm more or less surprised about the way you three have been taking care of him. I didn't think neither of you was capable of it. But you are. I didn't want Codey growing up knowing what happened, I still don't. And thinking about it while I was staring at his face only made me wanna kill him more,"

Donnie came forward, almost instantly caressing my face and planting a kiss right on my lips, taking me by surprise. But I didn't reluctantly pull away I gave in and kissed back letting all my thoughts fall away from me just by one touch. 

"I know about the lair," Don whispered over my lips, breaking what little silence we held for a moment. 

My eyes slowly opened, but he reassured me, "Raph," I sighed.

"Yeah, Raph. The kiss, and Mikey and you. I've realized it doesn't really bother me. And that we all love each other equally, especially Mike. He is tired of the back of forth fighting between us," he explained with a smile as he rested his forehead against mine.

"I'm sorry that things have been so complicated," I said, placing both of my hands on his hips, "I wanna make our lives better. But it hasn't exactly been easy," 

"Just because you're a leader, Leo, that doesn't mean everything is meant to be easy for you. It's quite the opposite actually and to me, I'd rather have it that way than easy because it gives us more things to do. It even makes us more human than you'd ever think," he says, rubbing his snout across mine, forcing a smile on my face. 

"I love you," I said without thought, which made Donnie flush and he brought me in close and hugged me tightly and whispered a reply into my ear, making the moment even more relaxable due to the rain pouring over our heads that I didn't even notice. 

"I love you more," 

ᵀᵒ ᴮᵉ Cᵒⁿᵗⁱⁿᵘᵉᵈ


	49. ᴬ ᴾʳⁱᶜᵉ ᵀᵒ ᴾᵃʸ

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> " ᵂʰᵃᵗ ᴵˢ Yᵒᵘʳ ᴾᵒⁱˢᵒⁿ "   
ᴵˢ ᵇᵃˢᵉᵈ ᵘᵖᵒⁿ ᶜᵒᵐᵖˡᵉᵗᵉ ᶠⁱᶜᵗⁱᵒⁿ ᵃⁿᵈ ⁱᵈᵉᵃ'ˢ ᴴʸᵈʳᵃᵏⁱⁿᶻ, ᴴᵃˢ ᶜᵒˡˡᵉᶜᵗᵉᵈ ᵒᵛᵉʳ ᵗʰᵉ ᵖˡᵒᵗ ᵒᶠ ʰᵉʳ ᶠᵃᵛᵒʳⁱᵗᵉ ᶠᵃⁿᵈᵒᵐ ᵒᶠ ᵃˡˡ ᵗⁱᵐᵉ, ᵀᴹᴺᵀ
> 
> Book Two Out Now! 
> 
> This Story Contains #Turtlecest. 
> 
> ໓໐ຖ't likē, ໓໐ຖ't rēค໓.
> 
> After Raphael and Leonardo think that their brothers are dead from a warehouse explosion, they mourn the deaths of what remained, including the lie and betrayal of their father faking his own death to keep them safe. Raph and Leo try to move on, but more than twenty surprises hit them in the face like a ton of bricks when Donnie and Mike return to the lair after a fight for adventure. Feelings begin to bloom over the loss. And drama forms and rains over their heads like a storm.
> 
> Falling In Love With Your Own Sibling Was Never going to be easy-- but getting them to love you back was a challenge-- Only in reality-- they all loved each other just as equal. 
> 
> Read ᵂʰᵃᵗ ᴵˢ Yᵒᵘʳ ᴾᵒⁱˢᵒⁿ to find out what unfolds right before their eyes, and to be there every step of the way as these four brothers discover what true love and sacrifice truly means to have exactly what you want.

ᵂʰᵃᵗ ᴵˢ Yᵒᵘʳ ᴾᵒⁱˢᵒⁿ

Cʰᵃᵖᵗᵉʳ ˣᴸⱽᴵᴵᴵ

ᴬ ᴾʳⁱᶜᵉ ᵀᵒ ᴾᵃʸ

{ Smut Warning }

[ Donatello ]

In and out. 

Again. 

In and out; I thought taking another breath. My head was swimming and my heart was throbbing in my chest from being so dizzy. 

For the past month, I couldn't shake this sick feeling in my gut. I've thrown up enough to feed a whole village and I couldn't keep my food down. I figured it might have been the flu, or maybe a virus. 

But no, these symptoms were kind of different. Different because they were in an odd order. I had a thought of what it could be. But for months now, I hadn't seen a sign, but maybe this was it. Or maybe, I could be wrong and just forget the real signs of it all. I would eventually make sure I was wrong but there was a chance on the table where I could possibly be right.

My body felt strangely different as well and in both and good ways. 

"D, you alright?" Mikey asked while I stared at the eggs frying in the pane on the stove eye. Mikey always liked his scrambled. I was an omelet guy. 

"Yeah," I answered picking at the food with a spatula. 

"Is it your stomach again?" 

I gave an honest shrug and grabbed a plate from the top cabinet and tossed the food on top, along with some bacon that made me feel even more disgusted from the smell. I put the plate in front of Mikey and the smile he gave me only made me give him one in return. 

"Sort of," I said, leaning over the countertop on my elbows. 

Mikey took a big bite of his food as Raph passed by rocking Codey in his arms, and while he was passing through, he stole a piece of bacon off of Mikey's plate, making my orange banded brother glare at him. He always hated it when someone made him share. 

"Sick again?" Raph asked, chewing on his food. 

"I'm not sure. No fevers, but sweats. Throwing up sometimes, and maybe a lack of appetite. Everything I smell makes me puke," I explained resting my chin on my hand. 

"So, does me eating gross you out?" Mikey asked with a mouth full, making me cringe. 

"The only thing that grosses me out that you do is chewing with your mouth open, Mike," I grinned, pinching his cheek, though he gave me a stubborn, confused expression. 

"I don't do that!" he denied. 

"Yeah, ya do," Raph argued, putting Codey in his portable bassinet. 

"Let's not talk about me, dudes, let's uh, let's talk about Raph being in heat!" Mikey said with a face splitting grin. 

"Mikey," Raph warned. 

"Come on, we're all in on this together, bro. Eventually, we'll all fuck-- I mean," Mikey cleared his throat, "Do one another at some point,"

I felt my face flush at the mention of such a subject. I felt it too, but I never really said anything and neither did my brothers. Which I was thankful for. Our little brother though didn't care to share it with the world. He and Raph banged it out like bunnies, but here lately things have been kind of on hold for them, including my own drive due to the new family member. 

I didn't mind it all that much, but being apart of the animal kingdom sometimes gets to you. It was nearing the middle of spring and the weather would soon get hotter again. Which wasn't good for some of us. Things would get harder to control, to befriend. 

"Not likely, Mikey" Raph clarified only glancing in my direction and I quickly looked away from him as if what he was saying was a challenge. 

But how? This was way out of my league. 

"Right, Right. Leo has been kinda all over me lately-- so, uh, I dunno what chur guys' problem is," Mikey giggles finishing off the last few bites of his food. 

I felt my fists have the need to clench, or maybe for my body to launch itself at Michelangelo for saying such a thing but I wouldn't bother. I was already getting used to this. Me and Leo even discussed the similarities with each other and what we want. It wasn't wrong but then it was. 

I couldn't figure it out alone. 

"I might go for a run," I say out loud, surprising my siblings. 

Raph chuckles, "Since when do you go out?" 

"Now," I said, looking at Mikey who was just as puzzled, "I want the kitchen and living area cleaned up by the time I'm back. Raphael, you can take out the trash, but be discreet. And try not to break any plates while I'm gone, Mike," 

"But, but, bu--" the shorter one repeated in a whiney like tone. 

"No buts, Mikey!" I demanded sternly, "Just do it, please. And try not to wake Leo. He was up all night again with those dreams," 

Without bothering to gear up, I just managed to bring my weapon along and hop on top of the buildings scrambling New York City- but I had an objective. A place I knew I could relax. 

I ran until I reached the stomping ground for an old construction building that the city was working on only a few years back before it was halted in twenty-seventeen due to low income. They couldn't afford to pay off the rest of the build and found themselves irresponsible. I figured that maybe one of these days they'd have come back to finish the job, but now, now it was a home away from home. 

You don't have a home. 

At least sixty percent of the building wasn't finished, and from what I could analyze of the information I gathered, they were making business for selling cups or some type of magnetic electronics. 

From down below, it looked like any other skyscraper, but once you're at the top, you could see the whole city from there. Most of the floors were unfinished with wide-open spaces with only metal columns holding the concrete in place. 

It took me about three minutes to reach the top, and during so, for some reason, I had an eerie feeling that I was being watched. But maybe it was just from the lack of eating and hallucinations. No sleep or food have many side effects, but I didn't feel all that tired. 

I felt energized, and like crap all at the same time. 

I sat down on the side facing the sun, which was slowly lowering over the horizon. I came at the perfect time. I trusted my brothers to take care of Codey while I was away- I just needed a minute, or maybe a little time to focus on some things. To meditate even, which was something I was unable to do for quite some time. 

I couldn't help but miss them though: even if I was around them twenty-four hours of the day without getting tired of their presence. 

I pulled my legs up and crossed them over one another before I began a regular routine for what I had always done during meditation. I wasn't as serious as Leo was while he did it. But I knew quite a deal for it. During relaxation, I took my mind back to places I enjoyed seeing the most. 

Winter times when Holidays actually went according to plan. When I was a kid discovering science in what little lab equipment I could get my hands on. Before Splinter became so serious. When he would just let us be kids without any knowledge of Ninjitsu. 

I miss those days. I miss the days when he was alive. 

April.

I released a sigh and let my eyes slip back open, realizing that I wasn't alone. I remained still, and could only imagine someone I knew being able to get up here with me. 

"I knew you'd be here," 

"Glad you could come, Raph," I said with a slight smile untangling my legs, letting them dangle off the edge. 

"Doesn't heights scare ya?" he asked, standing next to me but an inch or two away from the side. 

"No. But I know they do you," I looked up at him, "Why'd you follow me?"

He shrugged, "Somethin' is buggin' ya, Donnie. And that somethin' is somethin' you ain't tellin' us,"

"It's a lot. Well, what's going on is a lot," I answered. 

"Yeah. Do you think I don't know that? With the whole Leo tryin' to kill Casey thing? And us all finally comin' to an agreement with being in some type of love posse? Although, I'm not so sure how I'd feel with anyone stickin' it to Mikey except for me," Raph grins, almost making me smile in return. 

"I don't think I like it when you hit up on, Leo," I joked, nudging him in the shoulder. 

"I honestly don't think we'll ever figure out common ground in that area, Don. We all have different feelings toward one another. But to me, they are all special in their own way,"

"But they are strong" I corrected, getting flushed again. But I was suddenly curious, even rebellious. "What's Mike on about with you being in heat?" 

Raph gave me a glare then looked away almost instantly, "Ya know what it's about. It's like a girl with her period. Comes and goes, you should know," 

I started laughing uncontrollably, "Really? That's the best comparison you could come up with?"

"Least I got you laughin' a little bit," 

"True," I sighed. 

"So, uh, you wanna tell me about that dream you had?" my brother asked, totally catching me off guard. 

The whole world seems to pause after the words fell from his mouth. I gawked at him in surprise, "What dream?"

Raph chuckles and finally sits down next to me, only going a few inches over my height, "You know what dream, D, don't lie,"

My face suddenly felt hot, "Your visions," I muttered, and I noticed Raph nod his head in confirmation. 

"They are getting better, Donnie. I don't really know how to control them. I see into other people's minds, dead or alive. The past, present or even the future sometimes,"

"The future?" I nearly gasped, turning on my butt to face him. I suddenly was so intrigued. I couldn't believe what I just heard.

"Yeah, the future," he shrugs.

"What have you seen?" I quickly asked. 

"Didn't you once tell us it's bad to predict the future?" 

"Well, um, yeah, it is. But, could you at least tell me if anything good happens?" 

Raph smiles briefly and gives me a nod, "Yeah, it's good. A little confusing but it's good. But hey- don't tell Mike about this, he's like the only one who can do what I do. Leo has been seein' things, but I don't think it's good things,"

"Why can't I brag about your abilities to your mate?"

"Because," Raph sighs, "He'll probably turn it into some sort of competition. He's like that. Ya know that,"

I sit back, relaxing a little. "It's pretty interesting that you have that about you. Fascinating really,"

Raph tilts his head at me and leans back on one of the metal columns just a few inches from the edge. He shows his teeth at me with a huge grin, which was pretty nice to see on him. A smile looked nice on him. 

"Fascinatin' huh?" he asked, "What about this dream?"

I felt myself getting hot again. And I had a feeling that this time, it wasn't going to go away and I huffed loudly at this sudden approach. 

"Did you see what happened?" 

"Kinda," he laughs, which wasn't helping me. "That's why you fucked, Mikey" 

I looked up at him again, stunned. He was pretty much nailing the details. But it wasn't just because of the dream. It was because I actually loved Mikey like I loved the rest. His goofy personality and lack of science fiction kind of turned me on in the oddest ways I thought possible. 

"Kinda," I then said, practically mocking my brother. 

"I would of too," he mumbled, "Believe me. A foursome? Come on, that's insane to avoid," 

"It wasn't just that. It was other things, other things that I'm sure you feel too for him," I quickly interrupted. 

"When I saw it, when I went back to that night, it was bone chillin', to be honest," he said sounding a little astounded. But then a light bulb clicked in my head. 

"Is that why you're in heat?" I questioned looking straight into his eyes. 

Raph growled towards me and got up, "Fuck, it's embarrassin' but yeah, it won't go away!"

"The dream?" 

"Yeah, your fuckin' dream. It's meant to be yours. I just wanted to see what was going through your head at the time when you caught me and Leo being drunk together-- I didn't plan to go that far back, but I did, including when you and well," 

My face was probably a fire charge by now, but I was entirely intrigued. I couldn't help but want to hear more. Raphael's walls were breaking down, and this side of him was something completely new to me. I had thought he had but only one layer. But no, there were thousands. 

"It's okay- as long as it doesn't bother you," I reassured, remaining still until he faced me.

"How you fought me, how you decked me in the face that night and seein' it from four different points of view was just- incredible to me," he went on, looking a little flushed himself. 

Was it possible that even Raph too could feel something for me?

"Don't be embarrassed. Because I mean, I was for a little bit. I couldn't believe that I dreamt of something like that. It was usually rare or unlikely for me to have wet dreams. It kinda feels like I never had the time for sex, or er, private times, you know?" 

"I feel ya," he said sitting back down, but closer than before. I could instantly feel the heat radiating from his body which was something Mikey had always bragged about when no one else was around. I genuinely enjoyed hearing my little brother gush over his lover. But seeing it or even feeling it for myself, alone, was truly something in itself. 

"Raph," I swallowed, picking at my fingers, "Do you um, always do that?"

"What?" he asked without making eye contact. I assumed his focus was on the sun that was still setting over the skyscrapers. 

"Are you always this hot?" I said, reaching my right hand out, making direct contact with the skin of his bicep, and I nearly flinched when I touched him. He was burning up, but not in the bad type of way. It was good, better than good. 

He glanced at me, then at my hand that attempted a second time to touch him, and this time, I didn't bother pulling away at all, "It's a thing with me. Can't control it," 

I sat thinking a moment. Though a little embarrassed, but dizzy from the thought. I needed to know eventually or find out someway. 

"Maybe you need something," I quietly suggested, scooting closer, and inhaling deeply from his scent, letting the shivers go down my spine. 

Images from my dream flashed in my mind. The way Raph was looking down at me while I sat on Leo. He drank me with his expression. His eyes dark, and almost mischevious. My breath sped up, and I knew he could hear me. I felt weak, but so powerful again. But no, I haven't felt this submissive since Leo took my virginity- it wasn't this bad. 

Raphael was fully looking at me now, and when our eyes met, his pupils were swimming with wonder, with near evilness. He obviously needed me. It wasn't easy to hide from me. Nothing was easy to hide from me. It goes by a motto, you either tell me now, or I'll figure it out later, someway somehow. 

"Raph," I breathed, forcing me to realize how dry the inside of my mouth was. But even after I said his name, he didn't respond and only gotten closer, so close that our noses nearly brushed enough to touch. He was holding back. Understood the fact that I was neither like Leo or Mikey- because after all, he did have them. But for me, no, I was someone completely different at the very tips of his fingers. 

I let my fingers move along his chest, neck, and shoulders. My fingers tangled in the tails of his mask once my hand reached the back of his head, and for a moment. I nearly forgot to breathe. I couldn't understand why he was making me feel like no other. It was so different. 

So intense. 

My breathing was out of control, and the hot breaths of air coming from my brother only made things worse for me, and I thought if he didn't kiss me now, I'd probably pass out. And he did. 

I pressed hard into his kiss already feeling hungry for the taste of his tongue and was instantly asking for permission to stick my own in and he immediately let me. Our tongues danced in what seemed so clever. It made my taste buds explode. I was gripping the back of his head and forcing my mouth even harder against his. 

What was coming over me? 

"Fuck, Donnie," Raph growled against my lips, pulling us only inches so he could wrap an arm around my waist and hoist me into his lap. I didn't stop. I couldn't. The feel of his skin burned my fingers, and his lips only made mine feel swollen from just what little we had already encountered. 

I felt the electricity in my body heating up like a boilermaker on a hot Sunday afternoon. I was for sure I needed him, even if he didn't need me. His fingers were digging at my hips, forcing their way into the back of my cargo pants. I unlatched our lips when he found my behind and squeezed with both hands as hard as I knew he could. 

He was rough like I knew he'd be. Like I had heard he had been with both of my brothers. 

I was in love with it. 

I whimpered the most desperate sound I could ever release, which seemed to further the progress in my brother's pants because I could feel it beneath me. I instantly began to grind my hips downwards while his hands remained still inside of my own clothing. I put my lips to his again, making our kiss more sloppy to the point where we were just licking into each other's mouths like two animals. 

I let my hand fall down towards the buttons on his pants and quickly began to undo them. 

"You sure you want this?" he rasped, resting his forehead on mine and I nodded quickly. 

"Yes. From you, yes. Please," I begged, still picking at the buttons on his pants. 

As soon as I answered, Raph moved quickly to get me on my back, where he came in between my legs and latched his fingers into my waistband and yanked both my pants and underwear down, exposing me completely. But I didn't care. I wasn't ashamed this time. 

Raph seemed to take in the sight of me before removing his own clothes and getting himself ready before sitting right on top of me. Once he was fully naked, I got a good look at his er, manhood, and nearly choked on my own breath. 

"Jesus, Raphael," I gasped, letting my head fall back on the concrete floor. Which was surprisingly comfy all thanks to my shell. 

He looked down at me before bracing his hands on the ground just either of my shoulders, "What is it? Ya want me to stop?"

"Wha- no, no, um. Your uh," I began to laugh at my own thoughts, "I wasn't expecting you to be that big is all," 

Raph rolled his eyes at my confession and hovered just before my lips and pecked them a couple of times, "I'll be nice, and fuck ya like the nerdy twink I know ya are,"

I swallowed thickly at his comment just before I felt the tip of my brother's cock breaching my body and the feeling was completely different than just seeing it. For a minute, it only felt like he was ripping me into. I couldn't bother thinking about the very little amount of times me and Leo have made love, but not even in those sessions could he have loosened me up down there.

"Slow," I panted keeping my eyes closed shut to try and relax at the indifferent feelings my body was currently experiencing at the moment. 

"I don't know how long I'll be able to go slow, D," Raph said honestly and I felt the same. 

I gripped at his shoulders, dragging my fingers and nails over his skin, making him purr and growl above me felt like heaven. I pulled him in closer for another kiss, and that was when I felt him thrust. Then again, while continuing slow with a repetitive routine in downing me. 

I could feel him entering me, eating me alive with his heat. I couldn't help but cry out inside of my head for how much I needed this type of love right now. 

"M-More," I said, earning a relieved look from my brother who sped up the pace. My toes began to curl, and deep inside my thoughts, I had to fight the urge to cum on the spot. But even then, I don't think my short-tempered sibling would stop at that. 

"I don't think Leo fucks you enough," Raph said, kissing over my opened mouth with a sharp thrust making me moan, "I thought Mikey was needy. But no, you, fuck you're the neediest, huh, Donatello?"

"Shit, yes," I churred, arching my back off of the ground and covering my mouth to silence myself. I hated cursing- I always did, but I couldn't help it. I couldn't even figure out why that mattered to me right now. 

"No," Raph said, grasping my wrist and pulling my hand away from my face, "Not allowed when you're with me. I like it. I like knowing and hearing it, Don," 

"Faster," I gasped, feeling another sharp thrust that made my toes curl again, and my legs tighten around my brother, practically hooking themselves around him as if I was scared to let go. The talking- the amount I knew I'd get from Raph nearly made me shoot my load right here, right now, but I was scared to let go so early. I didn't want it to end. 

Raph began to thrust into me a bit faster, then a lot faster. I could feel him burying himself inside of me at the fastest rate, and I couldn't help but moan louder now. I was sure I was making marks just from my fingers, and I was sure he was enjoying it. 

"Come on, D," Raphael gasped, standing up on both of his knees while my legs remained around his torso. He took hold of my hips and hammered himself into me, "Cum,"

Fuck. Hold it, fuck. 

"Ah, Raph, no, not yet!" I whined, gripping his wrists while I had hope in my mind that his fingers would literally leave bruises on me.

"I ain't gonna stop, cum for me. Ah, come on, cum, D, for me," 

My mouth fell open again, and he held my back from falling to the floor. It was too much. God, it was too much. Let go, Donnie. 

"Oh, god!" I churred frantically as my body convulsed, and my cock ached from the lack of attention while I finally released my climax, covering my stomach and nearly sprayed up to my neck. 

"Yeah, that's it," Raph struggled, still thrusting inside of me, "Good boy, Donnie," 

I didn't realize my glasses were nearly falling off of my face until I opened my eyes, and quickly fixed them. But as Raph said, he didn't stop. He wasn't going to until he was finished with his mating cycle. 

I wanted him closer. I gestured him to lean down and I locked my arms around his neck and kissed him again, but with less force, and more passionate. He brought me in closer and lifted me up until he was practically holding me in the air with my legs still around his body. His hands squeezed at my behind again, shooting a jolt up my spine again. 

I loved him, and he loved me. Even through the fights, the arguments, the blood fist battles we've undergone with each other, it didn't matter. We all had an equal bond of a passionate obsession for each other. 

And on top of that, he knew what the future held. 

Which terrified and excited me all at the same time. 

ᵀᵒ ᴮᵉ Cᵒⁿᵗⁱⁿᵘᵉᵈ


	50. Yᵒᵘ'ˡˡ ᴺᵉᵛᵉʳ Fⁱⁿᵈ ᴹᵉ

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> " ᵂʰᵃᵗ ᴵˢ Yᵒᵘʳ ᴾᵒⁱˢᵒⁿ "   
ᴵˢ ᵇᵃˢᵉᵈ ᵘᵖᵒⁿ ᶜᵒᵐᵖˡᵉᵗᵉ ᶠⁱᶜᵗⁱᵒⁿ ᵃⁿᵈ ⁱᵈᵉᵃ'ˢ ᴴʸᵈʳᵃᵏⁱⁿᶻ, ᴴᵃˢ ᶜᵒˡˡᵉᶜᵗᵉᵈ ᵒᵛᵉʳ ᵗʰᵉ ᵖˡᵒᵗ ᵒᶠ ʰᵉʳ ᶠᵃᵛᵒʳⁱᵗᵉ ᶠᵃⁿᵈᵒᵐ ᵒᶠ ᵃˡˡ ᵗⁱᵐᵉ, ᵀᴹᴺᵀ
> 
> Book Two Out Now! 
> 
> This Story Contains #Turtlecest. 
> 
> ໓໐ຖ't likē, ໓໐ຖ't rēค໓.
> 
> After Raphael and Leonardo think that their brothers are dead from a warehouse explosion, they mourn the deaths of what remained, including the lie and betrayal of their father faking his own death to keep them safe. Raph and Leo try to move on, but more than twenty surprises hit them in the face like a ton of bricks when Donnie and Mike return to the lair after a fight for adventure. Feelings begin to bloom over the loss. And drama forms and rains over their heads like a storm.
> 
> Falling In Love With Your Own Sibling Was Never going to be easy-- but getting them to love you back was a challenge-- Only in reality-- they all loved each other just as equal. 
> 
> Read ᵂʰᵃᵗ ᴵˢ Yᵒᵘʳ ᴾᵒⁱˢᵒⁿ to find out what unfolds right before their eyes, and to be there every step of the way as these four brothers discover what true love and sacrifice truly means to have exactly what you want.

ᵂʰᵃᵗ ᴵˢ Yᵒᵘʳ ᴾᵒⁱˢᵒⁿ

Cʰᵃᵖᵗᵉʳ ˣᴸᴵˣ

Yᵒᵘ'ˡˡ ᴺᵉᵛᵉʳ Fⁱⁿᵈ ᴹᵉ

[ Raphael ]

Did I regret it? No.

It was the best I've felt in a very long time. It felt even better when he was in my arms. Donnie had soft snores when he slept, though I'm sure I had bigger ones. 

We didn't even make it home. We decided to just stay during the remaining hours of the night since he was so tired. We spent hours doing what started this whole mess. He didn't want to stop, nor did I. 

I was nuzzling the top of his head when I woke up the next morning and couldn't help but smile because I had thought that last night was nothin' more than a dream. 

Donnie was already awake, which surprised me. I quickly leaned into him and pressed a quick kiss against his lips, and he hummed with a smile. 

"You've broken me, you know that?" he joked, letting his hands drop to my chest. 

"Oops," was all I could say before kissing him again, but this time, it lingered. I wanted to taste him more, even just one final time before we went back to the others. 

"We need to get back," Donnie interrupted, pecking me on the lips before sitting up to gather his clothes. I soon followed in doing the same thing but was a little bummed at the fact we were leaving here. I kinda missed the field too and waking up to a view like this only made things a bit better. 

"I'm surprised you can walk," I grinned smacking my brother on his ass after fastening my pants. 

"Yeah, I am too. But I'm stronger than you think, and a quick healer," he reassures, looking out towards the city.

"What time is it anyway?" I asked making sure my sai's were secure in their holsters. 

Donatello checked his watch and rubbed under his glasses after putting them on, "It's nearly noon," 

"Yeah, we definitely gotta get back. Gotta check on the little man too," 

"You've been enjoying his company huh?" Donnie questions after we got off the first floor of the construction building and I smiled because it was true. I was enjoying having him around a lot.

"I guess I have. I think bein' a dad fits me," I smugly answered. 

Once we finally reached the street, Donnie seemed a little happier than he was before. But something else was still bothering him. 

"Do you ever think about having one of your own?" Don asked once we ran into an alleyway getting closer to April's apartment.

"Oh, well, I never really thought about it. I didn't think it was possible at this rate. Plus, I don't really know much about babies, or anything- I know only what you've been teachin' me since we adopted Codey,"

"It's possible for any of us," he said honestly which surprised me. 

The visions in my head involved further family members, even new people coming into our lives. But it was never really clear enough from who, or who they'd be. But me, havin' a kid of my own, with my blood flowin' in its veins was kinda cool, and a little scary sounding. 

"What do you mean?"

Donnie sighed, "Well. I mean like, any of us could have a child," 

I stopped walking and stared at him, "Hold up, I thought only chicks could do that?"

I noticed Donnie blush at my words but he was happy to oblige with telling me the details I knew that he knew, "We're reptiles, Raphael. We carry those kinds of genes due to being apart of the animal kingdom. Some animals of all shapes and sizes, even gender can carry genes of giving birth, whether they are male or female,"

"Wait, so like, I could get pregnant?" 

Donnie looks at me up and down and shrugs his shoulders, "I wouldn't be able to give you an exact answer without using the proper equipment required to figure it out. I wouldn't be able to give Mikey or Leo an answer either,"

I couldn't believe what I was hearin' anymore. I was a turtle that had superpowers basically. And now, I had the possibility of getting pregnant? Or even one of my brothers pregnant. A felt a shiver go down my shell because the thought made me feel disgusted almost. Not because I hated kids, or didn't want them, but because I knew I would not look good with a kid in me.

I'd look dumb even. 

"Well, that's good to know, at least,"

Donne laughs at me, "Come on, we need to get back before they start worrying about us," 

"Yeah," I scoff, "As if they'd worry about us,"

Once we finally got to the apartment building I instantly could hear shouting inside, and the moment I caught it, Donnie did too and we immediately began climbing up the side ladder to get into the window. He went in before I did, and when I finally entered, there were at least ten different men in the apartment. They looked pretty fuckin' ghetto, but fancy like. 

Mikey was holding Codey and he was cryin' in his arms. He was holding him like someone was trying to hurt him. Hell No. 

"Leo, what the fuck is goin' on?" I shouted over these people, who came over to my side as fast as he could. 

"They broke in here a couple of minutes ago, asking about that damned SUV we stole!" he answered harshly but quietly so nobody would hear. 

"Where is it?" the man in the middle shouted. 

"Where is what, ya bone head?" I replied shoving him away from me and my brothers. Donnie stood close to Mikey and the baby. Nobody was going to hurt him. 

"Our fuckin' car, you freak!" 

One of the men came out from the middle of the group and appeared to be short, had a bunch of gold around his neck and wrists. He almost reminded me of a mobster. The man grabbed the one who called me a freak by the collar of his shirt and yanked him down to his level and whispered something into his ear, which made him stand back and shut up.

He finally looked at me but I continued to stand my ground, protecting what I owned.

"We don't wanna hurt nobody- especially since I know there's a kid involved, aight?" he clarified, "But the car ya stole, we need to know where ya stashed it. It has some pretty valuable things in it, and if the cops get ahold of it, well, our business will go down. Do ya understand that, kid?"

Donnie stepped forward, "The car is in an alley about a block from here. You can't miss it. I can explain why we took it. But at the time, we just needed something without being seen. We couldn't risk running on rooftops with a day old child. We didn't even know there were guns in the back until one of our brothers pointed it out," 

The shorter man nodded his head and was obvious about his trust issues. This man was in the mob, and there wasn't a doubt about it.

"You're tellin' the truth. I can trust that. I appreciate someone who doesn't lie. I've gone through too many of those in my day. My men though, they can be a little idiotic when bargin' in on people. So, my apologies on that one," he says, surprising me for the third time today. "You boys got names?"

"I'm Donatello," Donnie reveals, he then points at me, "That's Raphael, Michelangelo, and Leonardo, our Leader. And the baby-- he's our son, adoptive son from our sister, April O'Neil," 

"O'Neil huh? I always watched her on the mornin' news. What happened to her?" 

I was starting to get angry with this guy-- his men just broke into our home and was practically starting a storm by asking a whole bunch of personal questions. 

"She died giving birth to Codey," Mikey answered, but he didn't move. He stayed close to Donnie and was obviously scared for his life which angered me even more. 

"Wow. I am terribly sorry for ya loss. My Mary died givin' birth to our baby girl, Angel. So, I completely understand your grief," the man waved the same dude down again and gave him the word which led to every single one of his men except for two to leave the apartment. 

"Are you gonna kill us?" Mikey then asked, and I glared at him, wrapping my hand around his arm. 

"What? No, God no, son. I don't kill unless I need to. Like rats, or somethin' you know, snitches, people who like to run their mouth, but anyway! I'd like to introduce myself. My name is John. John Godi,"

I nearly choked, "You're John Godi?" 

"In the flesh. And you four are the turtles who saved this city a couple of years ago. I follow a lot with the police force, so, don't act so surprised," he answered proudly with a smile. 

"You're a really popular man," Donnie said. 

"Uh, ya think? This man is a fuckin' legend!" I nearly shouted, but caught myself. I couldn't believe this man was standin' in front of me. I couldn't even believe I didn't recognize him. 

"Who cares who this guy is! He could have killed us, killed Codey! Raph could have gotten us killed for even talking me into taking the car in the first place!" Leo suddenly ambushed. He was getting louder the more he spoke. 

"I didn't come here to kill neither of ya, kid. I wanted to know where you stashed it. I also wanted to make sure you didn't tell the cops, but since you wanna avoid the public so much, I figured that that was completely off the table for discussion," John confirmed, but Leo I knew wasn't going to budge with this guy. 

Seconds after, someone came in and was comin' in fast. I saw a girl probably the size of a fourteen-year-old. Her hair was colored in pinks, and dark purples with black, but it seemed to of suited her. She was excited about something. 

"Daddy, Daddy you have to-- Woah!" she abruptly stopped, staring right up at me with the widest expression I think I have ever seen. 

"Angel, I thought I told you to stay in the car while I worked?" John scolded his daughter and gave me an apologetic look.

"What are you?" she asked still not taking her eyes off of me, then noticed the other three sore thumbs in the room. 

Mikey finally came out from behind Donnie and was looking down at the girl with the same amount of shock as she was showing us, "Cool hair!" he giggled. 

"Sick bracelets!" she laughed in return pointing off at Mikey's mixed matched bundle of bracelets covering his wrists. 

"Angel, these are the turtles that I spoke about not too long ago. They are as real as you expected them to be," he said with a chuckle. 

"Wow, so, you guys aren't magical fairies or something? You look even cooler in person!" she gushed, staring straight up at me, "And huge," 

"So, what exactly happened after Ms. O'Neil passed away?" John asked looking at Leo this time for an answer. 

"We've been living here in her apartment, taking care of Codey," Leo said, glancing at the baby who was still in Mikey's arms. 

"And the father? Where is he?" 

I rolled my eyes at such a question, "He ran off. He was havin' an affair with another woman while April was pregnant. Said he couldn't handle the pressure, and he left," 

"Bastard. I always hated men like that. Men like that don't even deserve to be walkin' the earth no more," John said, which I agreed upon. 

"Don't worry, I done tried getting rid of him, but Donnie here wouldn't let me," Leo stated crossing his arms. 

"It wasn't worth it. Especially After Michelle saw you," Donnie corrected. 

"Well. I'm sure livin' here ain't all that easy with the memories. And even though I didn't really come here for this sort of discussion, I feel for you four. A lot. I knew you were good guys even if I had idiots in my ear sayin' ya wasn't. But, what if I gave you a place to stay?" John questioned. 

Donnie looked at me, who then looked at Leo, "We couldn't impose, sir," Donnie said. 

"They could stay in the penthouse with me!" Angel exclaimed, making her father smile at her excitement. He seemed so happy around her. Which was something you couldn't mess with. 

"They could. But it would be up to them, doll," 

"You guys would have so much room! Bedrooms of your own! Endless amounts of food! And we could even build a nursery for the baby! Plus, you guys would be so fun to hang around, my dad is like, never there," Angel went on making everything sound so nice. 

I couldn't even believe what was happening was true. But a chance at a better life seemed like the best way to go right now. 

"Leo, what do you want to do?" Donnie asked him, sounding so sure that it was his decision to make. 

"It seems so sudden. We wouldn't be able to pay you any money for this," Leo sighs at John who held up his hand. 

"Please, money isn't the issue here, Leonardo. I'm not giving this option to you for somethin' such as that. I'm givin' it to you because I understand where you're comin' from, and plus, that place I put my daughter in is something that rarely ever gets used. She normally stays there when I travel while a few people watch over her. So, if you'd take the offer, I'd gladly appreciate it because then you four would be trusted to keep her safe," John explained. 

"Leo, it'd be better for us," Donnie whispered taking his hand, "Plus, if he truly wanted, we could put in work however we could," 

Leo looked right at John just before squeezing Don's hand and nodded his head, "Okay, we'll take it," 

Angel practically squealed when Leo gave Godi his answer. After the decision was made. Things just started moving all over the place. John gave us some time to gather what we wanted from the apartment and even some time to say goodbye. 

"You ready?" I asked Mikey and he nodded his head at me with a great big smile. 

"Come here," he motioned towards himself and I lowered my head down and he kissed me. I immediately returned my own and kissed into his mouth. I assumed he missed me, but couldn't have the chance to actually tell me. Once he pulled away he bit once at my lower lip, "Did you have fun with, D, last night?"

"Yeah, yeah I did," I answered honestly, kissing Mikey one last time, reminding myself that this one would always truly be mine. 

"As long as you didn't get yourselves killed, that's all I care about. Now, let's go start living in luxury!" he beamed, throwing his bag over his shoulder just before leaving without me. 

Leo and Donnie came from April's bedroom, carrying Codey in his car seat. Both of them had a bag of their own, as did I. But I didn't carry too much as usual. 

"I think we're ready too," Donnie said smiling at me and I nodded, who was next to go out the door. 

I stood there for a moment staring at Leo who didn't look so sure of himself. 

"You sure you wanna do this?" I asked him and he sighed. 

"Yeah. It'll be better. Better than the constant reminders, you know?" 

"Yeah. I get it. It will be less to deal with. Hopefully no fightin' between us. But yeah, it will be better," I said making eye contact with him. 

"Yeah, goodbye to sewers and open-toed sandals, huh?" he grins leaving out the door. 

I looked around, giving the place one last glance, "We love you April. So, don't think this is some type of goodbye. We'll take care of Codey, and one day, he'll learn to take care of himself just like we do," I said with a final smile. 

I grip the handle of my bag and grab the doorknob, slowly shutting the door behind me. 

ᵀᵒ ᴮᵉ Cᵒⁿᵗⁱⁿᵘᵉᵈ


	51. ᴬˡˡ ᵀʰⁱⁿᵍˢ Cᵒᵐᵉ ᵀᵒ ᴬⁿ ᴱⁿᵈ

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> " ᵂʰᵃᵗ ᴵˢ Yᵒᵘʳ ᴾᵒⁱˢᵒⁿ "  
ᴵˢ ᵇᵃˢᵉᵈ ᵘᵖᵒⁿ ᶜᵒᵐᵖˡᵉᵗᵉ ᶠⁱᶜᵗⁱᵒⁿ ᵃⁿᵈ ⁱᵈᵉᵃ'ˢ ᴴʸᵈʳᵃᵏⁱⁿᶻ, ᴴᵃˢ ᶜᵒˡˡᵉᶜᵗᵉᵈ ᵒᵛᵉʳ ᵗʰᵉ ᵖˡᵒᵗ ᵒᶠ ʰᵉʳ ᶠᵃᵛᵒʳⁱᵗᵉ ᶠᵃⁿᵈᵒᵐ ᵒᶠ ᵃˡˡ ᵗⁱᵐᵉ, ᵀᴹᴺᵀ
> 
> Book Two Out Now! 
> 
> This Story Contains #Turtlecest. 
> 
> ໓໐ຖ't likē, ໓໐ຖ't rēค໓.
> 
> After Raphael and Leonardo think that their brothers are dead from a warehouse explosion, they mourn the deaths of what remained, including the lie and betrayal of their father faking his own death to keep them safe. Raph and Leo try to move on, but more than twenty surprises hit them in the face like a ton of bricks when Donnie and Mike return to the lair after a fight for adventure. Feelings begin to bloom over the loss. And drama forms and rains over their heads like a storm.
> 
> Falling In Love With Your Own Sibling Was Never going to be easy-- but getting them to love you back was a challenge-- Only in reality-- they all loved each other just as equal. 
> 
> Read ᵂʰᵃᵗ ᴵˢ Yᵒᵘʳ ᴾᵒⁱˢᵒⁿ to find out what unfolds right before their eyes, and to be there every step of the way as these four brothers discover what true love and sacrifice truly means to have exactly what you want.

ᵂʰᵃᵗ ᴵˢ Yᵒᵘʳ ᴾᵒⁱˢᵒⁿ

Cʰᵃᵖᵗᵉʳ ᴸ

ᴬˡˡ ᵀʰⁱⁿᵍˢ Cᵒᵐᵉ ᵀᵒ ᴬⁿ ᴱⁿᵈ

[ Leonardo ]

The penthouse was definitely something to see. It was different. More different than I wanted it to be. But it quickly became something I needed it to be. 

I was a little taken back from the offer John gave us. He just met us, but he said he knew us enough and even considered us family in some sort of way which was pretty new to me. 

I wasn't really used to humans accepting us like the familiar ones we did know. I missed my friends from Ninja Tribunal or even the Nexus Tournaments. It had been years since I had seen them all, and sometimes even wondered if they ever thought about us the way we thought about them. Or at least I did. 

"Leonardo, this will be your room," Jameson said. Which was the butler of the place. For the rest of the day, I doubted nothing wouldn't fail to surprise me. 

Once I walked in, I wasn't really prepared for how big the place would be. It was just one room. One room that had everything a person could ever want. Bed, of course. Lights. Even a television. I even noticed the walk-in closet and signature colored blue throw across the mattress. 

I was a reptile who usually only wore pants now and again. Er' well, all the time. And most of that time, they were the same pants, or shorts, or whatever you'd call our hand made rags. 

"Are you sure?" I asked Jameson, and he gave me a sweet smile before nodding his head. 

"Of course. You and your brothers all have rooms of their own. Privacy is a big privilege to Mr. Godi, so, he wanted to give you four the same," he explained. 

"I just uh, wasn't expecting it to be this big. I'm sure Michelangelo is freaking out about all this" I laughed, putting my bag on the floor next to the bed. 

"I could always change it to your liking if it is too much for you, Sir?" 

"No, No," I interrupted emerging from the closet after looking around a bit. "No, this is just fine. I'm just not used to it. But I guess now I am going to have to, huh?" 

"Sometimes I will agree that new things or even surroundings will take some time to get acquaint, so do not worry, I understand, Sir," Jameson reassures.

"Leo. Just Leo, please," 

He gives me a nod and leaves me to be alone, though, I didn't ask for it. 

I couldn't really figure out what I did to deserve such an upgrade. I missed the lair. I missed the smell, though sometimes it was unbearable. I missed my dojo where privacy was so much more than just being alone to do what you had to do. I missed Sensei more than words could describe. And April; I'd give anything to have her here with us. Her and Codey would be happy. Happy and safe in the surroundings of our kind without someone backstabbing her over marriage. 

I wondered over to the windows, which kind of reminded me of the temples in Japan. Our last visit was very short all due to someone disagreeing with someone's sexuality. Since we were removed from the property I hadn't heard anything out of them. Which was kind of disappointing in my part. 

It made me worry even more if being who I was would never be accepted. 

I slowly pulled the curtains back and saw the view. We must have been put on the highest floor possible. Which I guess was kind of the point of being in a penthouse. It was a home for people with riches. For people who could buy anything or even be anything they wanted without someone bothering them. Except for the press maybe. 

"Leo, you okay?" 

"Have you seen the view, Mikey?" I asked my little brother who I knew entered the room by his soft, childlike voice. 

"Yeah, it's kind of overwhelming" he giggles. 

"Guess we're really moving up in the world, huh?" I grinned down at him then looked back out, watching the clouds float just before my eyes, "This is one of the first days in weeks where it hasn't rained,"

"Nice isn't it?" he asks, nudging me.

"Yeah. I guess so. I kinda miss our old place," I admitted, watching his eyes for a minute, "Don't you?"

"Yes, n' no. Not because I didn't enjoy myself there. But because of the memories. We've lived there since we were tater tots, bro. I try not to let it bother me over the fact that all that was just washed away because of a mistake you made," 

"Thanks," I sighed sarcastically. 

"Hey, what am I here for?" he questions, grabbing my hand, and surprising me a little before I squeezed his in return. 

"Where are the others?" 

"Oh, I think that butler dude mentioned something to Raph about a gym, and uh, Don is setting up his room. He seems a little, eh, I dunno, out of it after we left April's crib," Mikey answered. 

"He's been acting odd for a while now. I couldn't blame him after everything that has happened. He has to worry about Codey now. Of course the lair, and you know, keeping up with our relationship," I said trying to sound as honest as I could. 

I couldn't help but feel bad. Donnie introduced me as his leader, yet I rarely act like one anymore. I needed to step up the game, or else I would be nothing more than a footnote to be siblings. 

"Well, why don't cha go check on him then, fearless?" Mikey suggests forcing me to roll my eyes. 

"Yeah? That would be a good idea wouldn't it, Michelangelo? Now, maybe you could go talk Raph into doing some meditation." I grinned before patting Mikey's head and exiting the room. 

I could already feel his glare on the back of my head, but I knew he'd have fun either way with his mate, as I would mine. But first, I needed to make sure he was okay with all of this. 

I headed down the hall, noticing the high ceilings with installed lamps that were told that come on by sensor of movement. The whole place was electronically built inside and out which was definitely new for me alone. I figured that this time forward that Donatello would have the time of his life being here. 

I passed four different rooms before I could figure out which one he was in and when I walked in, he was staring out the window, similar to what I was doing before Mikey interrupted. 

"I assume you enjoy the view just as much as I do?"

He jumps when I make my presence known and he turns to face me, "You startled me," 

"Deep in thought?"

He nods twiddling with his fingers, "Yeah. This is all kinda crazy, to be honest. Don't you think so?"

I immediately agreed. "Yeah, Of course, I do. It's gonna take some time getting used to it. But it's better than living a memory every single day or even grieving over the lair being destroyed,"

Donnie looked off and back out the window. From here you could see the beach and wide-open oceans that took us far from here. I was born and raised in New York City- yet I never sailed their sea's. 

"I like it though," he mutters. 

"You sure?" I asked hovering in behind him, tempting to wrap my arms around his waist, but I waited. 

"Are you sure, Leo?" he flips, turning to face me again. His own arms were securely wrapped around his stomach as if he was embracing himself. 

I took a moment to think about what he just asked me. And even for a second, I felt positive, I felt free in my own hands without a litter of doubts and irresponsibility. 

"Yeah. I'm sure, Don," I smiled. 

He smiled back at me soon after my words left my lips and came forward to press his own against mine. My breath hitched and I inhaled the scent of Donnie as if I were to swallow him whole. I was truly and finally starting to get our relationship without my hormones interfering. 

I squeezed both of my arms around his waist and pulled him in tight for a hug until a whimper escaped his lips which echoed against my own and forced me to pull myself back. I felt quite alarmed. 

Did I hurt him?

"Ow," he mumbled, grabbing for his side which my hand was on until he moved it away and all I could do was stare at him. 

"Are you alright?" I quickly asked, checking his side at the same time as he was and he just shook his head. 

"Y-Yeah, I'm okay- just a little sore from the other night," he admits with a small giggle. 

I gawked at him for a second. I was feeling almost puzzled until my mind clicked with the night before and Mikey telling me that Raph and Don headed out not long after breakfast. 

I let my hands fall from his torso and Donnie studied me as if he was silently asking me what was the matter. I felt the heat in my stomach boiling over and my veins crackling the same way they did when I came face to face with Casey Jones. 

"Leo?" Donatello interrupted, reaching out to caress my cheek but I pulled away from him. 

Donnie and Mikey were one thing-- but Donnie was a sacred deal in my book. And if what I think happened, happened. My brother was a goddamn dead man. 

"Can't believe you," was all I could scramble out of my brain and Donnie's face fell. 

I slowly took a few steps back and turned my back towards my brother and rushed out of the room. I was practically stomping on my way out and not even a train could stop me. 

"Leonardo, wait!" Donatello called after me, but I ignored him. Pushed him and his soft convincing voice behind me. I had one target. And even if getting through to him was going to take risks, I'd gladly play it. 

I looked into every room even if I had Donnie at my heels, I kept going until I found the gym. Which was huge from what I could see. But when I spotted Raph chilling on one of the benches with Mikey on his lap, I couldn't even see clearly anymore. 

"Oh hey, Leo!" Mikey cheerfully greeted right before I slammed my fist directly into Raph's jaw. 

The blow sent him and Mike straight off their toes and came down tumbling to the ground with a few loud bangs and crashes. Raph shook off the punch and peered up at me as if he just got the taste knocked out of his mouth. 

"What the fuck, Leo!" he growled immediately getting to his feet. 

I happily shoved him away from me and was glad to tell him what was up, "Do you think you can just take whatever, or even whoever you want, Raphael?

"The fuck are ya talkin' about, you dumb fuck!" he shouted back in my face. 

"You dare lay a finger on Donatello and expect nothing out of it! You can fuck Mikey-- sure! But Donnie, no! You think you can just do us all because why? You're bigger than all of us, tougher, angrier, and you even work out more than us!" I finally paused almost laughing at myself, "Hell, I bet you even think you got a bigger dick than all of us!" 

Raph just stared at me. He didn't move or even speak. But he looked over my shoulder, and from what I could probably guess. Donnie had finally caught up with me. 

"I wanted it just as badly as he did, Leo," Donnie muttered admittingly. 

I turned my head only inches to stare at him, "But why? I don't get it! I thought we were fine. Again!"

"Don't play dumb, Leo!" Mikey suddenly erupted. When I looked at him, he was standing tall, with his fists clenched at his sides. He was honestly adorable when he acted all tough. 

Snap out of it, Leo!

"Stay out of it, Michelangelo," Raph warned him. 

Mikey puckered his lips, "No, Raph! Leo plays all innocent when it comes to yous. When you fucked Raph, you wanted it more than he did! You basically forced him into it and he didn't even want to because he was too afraid of betraying me! And Donnie, he topped me, so what!" he exhaled, taking a second to say some more, "You all know, we, we all were meant to be and stuffs! And what we do can be shared. And Leo and Raph don't wanna agree with that because they are--"

"Alphas," Donnie stepped in, placing a hand over Mikey's shoulder.

"Alpha's?" I scoffed. 

"You and Raphael are the two Alpha's of the group, and sometimes, sometimes I'd even go into an agreement of Raph being the only Dom in the posse. Believe it or not, Leo, but it's true," Donnie sighed. 

I frowned in front of my siblings, feeling like a complete fool. "How does he make you feel?" 

"What?" Donnie questioned. 

"Raph. How does he make you feel?" I repeated but more specifically. 

Donnie gave Raph a knowing look as if he needed a moment to gather the information for my question. He then huffed loudly and repositioned the glasses on his perfect face and opened his mouth only a little, "He makes me feel secure. Kinda like you do. He gets really lovey-dovey when he's in that position. He's less aggressive. Someone else that I thought I'd never see. But I think all three of us could agree that we love when things get rough, bent out of shape and mean with him," Donnie smiled, looking at my red-banded brother. 

It was true. I couldn't possibly agree more with him. When I wanted Raph, which I still did. It was different. He wasn't rude, he held back and was hesitant. He turned sweet almost. And someone who was as mean like my brother Raph, it was definitely great to see him not be that way. 

"I was the one who took his virginity though," Mikey announced sticking his tongue out and spitting at us. 

"Mikey!" Raph said almost instantly which earned him a thump on the top of his head. "Would you guys shut up now? Yeah, I get pretty invested in the whole emotional crap when I'm with ya like that- so what? Now can we all move on and pretend this shit never happened?" 

"I kinda wish you could be like that all the time," I said, speaking lowly.

Raph stared at me with surprised eyes, which led me to smile up at him. The moment surely ended when a cry was released from the room over, and even for a minute. I had forgotten that Codey was still with us. 

"Sounds like someone is hungry," Donnie spoke smiling at each one of us before leaving the room. 

I quickly glanced up at Raph and stood up on all of my tippy toes and kissed the jaw I punched earlier. I then left the room as quick as I could with a huge grin on my face. 

I followed up with Donnie in the nursery that was already pre-maturely made before we even arrived. I assumed this was Angel's old room due to all the pink stuff lying around. But Donnie I'm sure would quickly change that. 

"Is he okay?" I asked entering the room. 

Donnie tilted his head from Codey and nodded at me, "Must have had a nightmare or something- he wouldn't take a bottle," 

"I kinda know how he feels," I chuckled watching Donnie rock the baby in his arms so skillfully. I was suddenly honored to have him in my life. It wasn't a joke anymore to play with, I was truly and unconditionally honored to have him here with me. Not including the other two of my trio. 

"Yeah. Those dreams you've been having are getting worse, huh?" 

I shrugged my shoulders and motioned for Codey to be passed over into my arms and Donnie happily handed him over. My second time holding him was just as good as the first. Except for this time, I felt closer to him. I felt more protective, more prepared and less angry over the situation.

"I could always do a scan on your brain, you know? Check if anything is going on in there, oh fearless one," he explained, while I shook my head. 

"I think it's just stress," I assumed, staring down at Codey who began drifting back off to sleep. 

"You think you could take anymore?" Donnie suddenly questioned after a minute of silence. His voice sounded oddly different than the last second I heard him. 

I looked up and his face was almost expressionless. Worried even. 

"What do you mean?"

He looked down, "Well, um," he swallowed thickly which made me start to panic, "I kinda have something to tell you," he quietly said. 

I sighed heavily and prepared myself. And whatever was to come I had to promise to myself that I couldn't get mad or lash out while a child was in my arms. "What is it?"

"I don't know how to tell you though," 

"Just tell me," 

"For months, I studied the possibilities, Leo. I'm sure Raphael kind of already knows about it. Even Mikey- but. I did. I studied it. The biosamples, the genes and all the genetics of how and if it would survive, and it's very possible. And the possibilities are endless," Donnie went on, officially making me feel sick. 

"Cut the crap, and tell me what you did, Donatello!" I demanded sternly and almost strictly. 

I worried if he's gone off and created some other mutant. We couldn't afford an issue like that right now. Or what if he tried to bring someone back to life-- no, that's just insane. 

Donnie finally made eye contact with me and his pupils were piercing with curiosity and worry. He was absolutely terrified right now. He picked and continued to fidget with his fingers and even had to fix his glasses in the five seconds of silence he was forcing me to endure. 

"Donnie," I calmly said. 

"I'm pregnant," he blurted out in a whisper. 

Holy Shit.

.

.

.

ᵀᵒ ᴮᵉ Cᵒⁿᵗⁱⁿᵘᵉᵈ

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> There you have it, TMNT Lovers! I have officially posted all Fifty-One chapters to Archive, and I'm super happy that I've finally taken the time to do so because I still am working on chapters for the second book. But don't worry! I got you. 
> 
> I really hope you enjoyed if you made it this far. If you don't wanna continue the journey on Wattpad for Book Two, then stayed tuned because that one too will be coming to this lovely place. Book Two is far from finished and I even have plans for a book three, who knows. I'm still coming up with idea's as we speak, but do not worry I will keep going all because I love this story so very much. 
> 
> It taught me so much and has caused my imagination to reach far and wide since June of this year. And that's crazy to think I've only just finished this back in October, and I started it in June/July as I was only THEN discovering what TMNT is, and now, I pretty much know every little detail there is to know. 
> 
> This Novel was originally a Mikey x Raphael Fan Fiction Idea. But I thought that would have been too simple. And now it's completely different and even better than what I had originally planned. This entire series is a mixture of every single TMNT Line you could think of. I've tried to add in bits and pieces that add up with different storylines, worlds, characters and stuff like that and I have succeeded greatly and will continue doing so because I'm so very proud of this, whether someone hates it or not, or even finds it repulsively disgusting- but! I won't ever let that stop me. 
> 
> The Turtles in my Story are mostly focused around the Bayverse, but the Mikey in my story is mostly evolved around the 2003 Mikey because he is my favorite Michelangelo. Bayverse Mikey is my second. But anyway! I apologize to keep this going for so long- I just wanted to clear some things up and give a big thanks to every single human being who ever thought of clicking on my story and making it past the Prologue. 
> 
> I love you.
> 
> Let's keep going and Cowabunga into the next one TOGETHER! 
> 
> Oh yeah, one more thing- 
> 
> Did you like that cliffhanger? 
> 
> Mwuahaha!
> 
> \- Hydrakinz

**Author's Note:**

> So, this is the first time I'm posting a story on here. I'm still unaware of how this website works because I'm super used to Wattpad only but- hey! Trying new things, never ever, hurts. The summary for each chapter will be the exact same because I want to keep it simple by telling nothing further about the plotline or about the chapters that further come. I posted this prologue back in June/July of this year and today it's November 25th, and it just turned 8:00 am for me and I have been thinking about posting my story here for a while to get it further out, so, here I am. The very first book has already been finished, and I'll try to get all fifty-one chapters posted here as fast as I can, but if you wish to read things before I post the next chapter then please check out my Wattpad. It's where I begin my writing hobby except for my desk back in 2k12. But anyway- I'm not asking you to follow me, but if you wanna see the full novel before I post the rest here then just use my Wattpad at, www.Wattpad.com/Hydrakinz as said in my bio. As a second reminder. I'm still very new with this website so if the tags are lame or things seem a little wonky then I apologize. I just want more people to read my novel as it has been the most fun I've ever had writing a book. I'm currently writing the second and working on chapter five. So, go catch up and I hope you enjoy diving into my world and the way I see it within the TMNT fandom!
> 
> \- Hydrakinz


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